Reflections 2015 - Renewed

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efore I was given this chance to serve and be part of a student publication, I was just a wandering individual who constantly do routinely works of a simple student. I decided myself that these are not the only things I can do. I set upright, applied in this publication, and got accepted. From that point started my odyssey as a writer, a leader, and a servant.

For the years I spent in this publication, I always love to see people reading the issues of our magazine, tabloid, and literary folio. The feeling gives me the drive to go on despite of the many opposing forces against the objective of this team.

The Trailblazer will always be in gratitude to serve the students and educate not just their minds but also their hearts.

As writers, we believe that our pens bleed for a purpose and that is to straighten the backs of students not to be contented to what they used to see in the surface. As youth, grab the opportunity of being young, and live your lives with determination.

To sincerely write and be catalysts for change are our purposes as student journalists, thus, we will never compromise the welfare of every student. As long as we have the students who continue backing us up, we, in return will righteously attend to their needs.

We may not personally know the contributors of the annual literary folio, but we thank you guys for trusting The Trailblazer as an avenue for your literary pieces which we believe are exquisite. Like me, there are people who choose to put their feelings in print and let those unspoken words be their inspiration and wholesome emotion comes out.

This year’s theme encourages you not to be succumbed to the bitterness of life instead repaint your palette with new colors. Truly, happiness is self-sustained. Colors are changing hue, so as life my dear.

How grateful we are to see students holding a copy of this year’s Reflections. We will constantly let our blaze anew for you. Our tireless exertions will never be worthless because we know that behind every page lies a story waiting to be read by you, specific readers.

We hope that we have offered you the best of your expectations.

Let’s all celebrate for Reflections 2015. #SilentWish

Reflections is the annual literary folio of The Trailblazer. All published articles are of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the position of the Editorial Board. All articles are edited for the reasons of space, clarity, and ethics.

You may send your articles for publication to: Book Concept, Cuts, and Layouts:

Roshelle Novie L. Cabrido Renz Marion F. Osa Jay Juniel R. Murcilla Model:

April Joy R. Cayao

T

Credits:www.deviantart.com

here are times in our life that we are drowned with nuisance, troubles, and scrapes that we fail to see the light of tomorrow. Let us not escape the problem, instead face it and learn from it. Sometimes we fall short to what others expect from us. But above every problem is a promise of a new beginning.

The Trailblazer Door 2- Student Center Mindanao University of Science and Technology Cagayan de Oro City No part of this publication may be produced or recopied in part or in full without a written consent from the writer or artist.

Copyright 2015 © by The Trailblazer.

All rights reserved.

We Hope - Roshelle Novie L. Cabrido

Hope and Faith Nikko J. Vistal

Go forth the injustices way had turned, From famine society we have prayed, That no people exist as corrupt and scorn, And we simply cannot be easily swayed.

Born equal our God has forsaken us, Everyday we must be watchful and just, Equality is a must to all of us, Because someday all of us will just turn to dust.

We must all believe in the Judgment Day, He will come and test our faith, In the rotating month of May Time that will lead us to our eternal fate.

So as long as people believe and hope, So as long as trust from all people won’t break.

Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person.

- Gerard Way

A rebirth out of spiritual adversity causes us to become new creatures.

- James E. Faust

Hundred Miles Aurora

I heard the whistle blow from afar, A sign that you’re heading in a distant land, It’s just so hard pretending to be unemotional, While seeing you away a hundred miles.

I can see the train from this soundless place, Crying from beneath is my way of goodbye, Though my bellowing heart wants to find its true farewell, Still I can’t hold on to, I will let you go a hundred miles.

Now, I can see the smoke you are really going away, Still I am glad a day with you so fragrant and gay, A day of fate, I believe is awesome.

Now, set forth a hundred miles away.

Let me write all of these in my journal, And remember every detail of you as eternal, I will be happy for your success from far off land, Take care of your voyage, let’s meet again somehow.

Have Faith

Chezka Restie Mae A. Acedo Conquer your long pent-up fears, Hesitate not in showing your fierce.

Evil is always there, Zeal to God you should always bear Keep praying for He hears.

Adversities are not worthy of your tears Restore the faith that’s astray.

Embrace prayers in your living day.

Soothe thy hardened heart, Transport the Word in the world’s every part.

In the plausibility of the words you say, You will encourage those who lost their way.

May you meditate heartily, Abide faithfully, Execute your being exemplary.

And arise with those who had fallen to disgrace, Climb to greatness whatever you may face.

Eventually you’ll receive God’s grace. Go! Drive your own wheel of faith Oh! You must have FAITH.

Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery, it recharges by running.

-Bill Watterson

Nightmare Niña Queen S. Tuya

Although havehave this precious human Althoughwewe this precious rebirth, is onlyitprecious if we useifit human itrebirth, is only precious inwea beneficial You are beautiful like a ray of sun, use it in a way. beneficial way.

Chodron - -Ani Ani Chodron Like a flower tamed by a graceful nun, Like a rainbow after the rain so hard, Like a gay friend met in the boulevard.

You make me happy almost everyday, Like an angel that guards me, I would say, Like a child’s heart, so genuine Like a wandering dove that is pure within.

But by this time you are saying goodbye, Like gentle cold winds that only pass by, Like a train of thoughts that is forgotten, Like as if ‘you and me’ are nothing.

You are nothing now, but a nightmare Like the fire I want to be in flare.

Rejection

Joyce E. Bobadilla

It’s hard for me to plea.

But please don’t you ever look the other way I just couldn’t put into words what I feel But girl, I know what I feel is real.

I had fallen deeply in love with you I just couldn’t stop, I didn’t know what to do Nobody made me feel the way you do I was hoping that you feel the same way too.

Now I am here, trying to confess And I have no reasons to love you less I hope you could open your heart’s door Because I know I can give you more.

But girl, you left me with broken heart Now I feel like my world is torn apart.

But I will stand again, And accept the rejection and pain.

Love and his last flight Jay Juniel R. Murcilla

I was once like a marveling jay Yet so sad and all in gray Until there was you who came across Who conversed my heart longing for a loss.

You kissed a flower goodbye With beauty no one could deny Spangled with ultramarine blue When you flapped your wings and flew.

Soared the sky by ultimate grace Touched the clouds through your gentle face Even in the ground the flowers bowed Watched you like a proud crowd.

And I became your admirable witness Through that you made me flightless Because I would rather choose to fall It would be like nothing to land at all.

Then everywhere I was like in a perfect place Where you were in your impeccable pace Where glorious days will never end But then it’s up to you, it all depends.

Then I became not a wandering jay Because I found what I always pray And everywhere will be a paradise Then my love will not perish nor demise.

Every reform, however necessary, will by weak minds be carried to an excess, that itself will need reforming.

- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Every generation renews itself in its own way; there’s always a reaction against whatever is standard.

- Sol LeWitt

Serve

Mark Joseph Llanasas Music unites humanity As long as we keep our dignity Repent to bring back divinity Keep playing the music of life until eternity.

Just believe in your abilities Open your eyes to possibilities Serve your responsibilities Enjoy it the fullest.

Pray the safety of your dearest Heaven will be the place for your final rest Life is not just meant for fun Life means knowing your purpose in the long run.

Affluence is not necessary to everyone Negative vibes are meant to be shunned Acquire learning under the sun Share knowledge to everyone.

Ask for help to Him if the faith is gone Since God so love the world according to John.

In Him

Abbygail S. Salvaña He calls for me to continue His deeds But sometimes I forget to follow Him, In times of my sorrow, He’s all I need In times of happiness, I tend to forget Him. Comforts me when I feel like giving up Though hope is frail I know He’s always there He holds my hand and helps me to stand, Carries the burdens He knows I can’t bear.

He takes away my tears and helps me smile.

We walk together like nothing happened.

No fears I feel even for a while.

In Him, I’ll always bend.

In Him, never be afraid to fall from the ladder For there will always be God, our Father.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

- Reinhold Niebuhr

When two people meet, each one is changed by the other so you’ve got two new people.

- John Steinbeck

Move Forward Alvin M. Edio

Take it easy, don’t panic Sooner or later you will forget Me and the love in your heart It’s time for us to fall apart.

It’s like looking for a needle in the sand Love is never in our hands I see through you when we are sitting in the dark While in the morning, it’s just a broken heart.

I’ll close my eyes in a coffin of thorns Mending wounds from heart and bones Where am I when you had your best?

Where were you when I was at my worst?

Now I’m gone but you’ll be alright Forget the hug that wasn’t so tight Now, we have to turn off the lights And let fire bring me back to life.

Rejuvenescence Datfel D. Felecia

Alone in the midst of the night, I saw a light, I saw a light Will I scream? Will I fight?

Should I wait for the sun to shine so bright?

Alone beneath this dark sunshine, It feels so calm, It feels so calm No one was seen and my heart skipped a beat I felt stiff I couldn’t move my feet.

Alone in this bellowing wind I needed a hand, I needed a hand Just when I thought I was alone, He was there from morn until dawn.

HE was right beside me all the time Though I’m tired, though the sun refused to shine Even the sky turned grey Even at my darkest He even stayed.

The barrier between us The problem between love and trust He answered, and it made sense I’m not all alone.

My God, My rejuvenescence.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

-Mark Twain

Just You and Me

You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die. Or when. You can decide how you’re going to live now.

-Joan Baez

Judy Ann P. Orque

Just like the stars that shine above, Uncovers our mystery of love.

Disregard the world of hatred Yes, my love for you is sacred.

All this time my love and care for you are bound together.

No one can separate us together, No worries baby, I will love you forever, Of all the things in my heart, I will choose you if ever.

Resides your smile that pinched like a dart.

Quenched this thirsty love of mine Under all circumstance, we’ll rise above, Endless, where there exists nothing but love.

Love that lasts Jeremy Aisac T. Tagarda

Every night before I lay on my bed I can’t forget every word that you said When you asked me to set you free I realized you and I were not meant to be.

Each word I heard pierced into my soul Each word was tattooed in my mind like a mole No word you’ve said can cause me to hate you And it will never change the fact that I love you.

As time passed by some things will surely change Still I know that my love for you won’t change For you’re the one that made me who I am If you’re with me then I know where I am And I believe time will mend my broken heart But only you can fill its missing part.

Champion Maria Lourdes H. Torregoza They live like a stone With no life to share They all live alone With nobody to care.

They say we cannot stay For now we must be brave For they have gone to slay In that deep dark cave.

True Love

We will stay here waiting Waiting for a champion A champion to end our fighting For He shall be our companion.

True love is just like rain, it touches us, It is wonderful and it feels infinite, True love is great, it uplifts us, It gives us courage to new beginning.

He is a champion of love For He will come from above.

Jessie Marie Padron

True love doesn’t consist of holding hands, It consists of holding hearts together, Face each day as if it’s the first encounter, And see true love in one another, Love comes to those who wait, trust it, And don’t hesitate when it does come, Appreciate the value of every moment, Take the chance and hold it.

Everyone talks about true love, It will come and it will be with us through our walks.

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.

– Arthur Ashe

A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one.

-George R.R. Martin

Minneth Zinnia Minneth Zinnia Aquino

My life is full of chains, In the darkness full of pain Night or day, rain or shine Nothing can be more awful than mine.

Everyday is same as yesterday Things get worst and I feel so tame Here I am all alone, waiting to come home.

Zone of loneliness is killing me softly.

In the midst of darkness surrounded by me Neglected by everybody, I wish they can see Noxious is not me, it is not me Innocence hides beneath me, but no one does believe.

After all this time, I am still here waiting for the final sentence.

Acknowledged before, abandon by today, Queen of shame, my family always says, Useless, worthless they label me as always.

Is there any hope waiting for me?

No one dares to believe me.

Obsess of righteousness, I wish they can hear me screaming.

Friend Friend Luzsyl Niña I. Echano

His voice is harsh and in a hurry, Whispering unkind words to me But when I look at him, he became fuzzy, Emphatically, unable to see.

Goose bump makes my skin sensitive And my lips quiver uncontrollably I try to stop it because he becomes more sensitive As he takes advantage to my vulnerability.

I force myself to ignore all his merciless assault, As it draws on me that I don’t want him anymore.

For he is not a good friend to consult To get rid of his presence, I ‘shoo’ him out and close the door.

Certainty Jinky G. Gonzales

Just like before, we’re happy together.

I don’t know why our relationship got bumpy, Now you’ve set sailed, Knowing I’m still buried and jailed.

Yesterday’s love was nothing, it faded.

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.”

-Maya Angelou

Go, but don’t take my heart away Out of this empty place, Never come back, never stay Zip your mouth and keep the pace Abolishing your presence inside, Like a shell that gets carried by tide.

Envy me for I have recovered.

Shuttered, from your love that tattered.

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.

-Anne Frank

Haven’t You Noticed Aristotle Pollisco

Haven’t you noticed the devils in every propaganda campaigns, Giving out cash and dwelling to the emotion of the mass?

Haven’t you noticed media practitioners in a TV station, Who are supposed to be unbiased, yet they act the opposite?

Haven’t you noticed the society of fools, People who extend their help only when they need votes?

Haven’t you noticed the political landlords, Who have gone far to militarization and legal exploitation?

Haven’t you noticed an expensive car around, Roaming the street of hungry men and famishing humanity?

Haven’t you noticed the leader of yellow ribbons, Who is directly involve in the fallen yet coward enough to face it?

Haven’t you noticed the grim of justice, Unrightfully given to people of equal footing?

I bet you noticed all of these, But have you done something to see the change you always shout for?

My Shout In This Dome Grizia Marie T. Celmar

I have never written a poem, A poem as lovely as a tree For someone who is so dear But for you, exception is what I redeem.

Look at me Mother Lend me your ears I have gained this esteem.

Just for you, so don’t bother.

Saying ‘’I Love You’ is not in our custom Nor saying “Thank You” whenever I’m free So now, I’ll utter these words without fear And I’ll say this with self-esteem.

Thank you mommy!

For giving me your all.

“I love you mommy”, my shout in this dome Hear me now, that’s my call.

Each night, when I go to sleep, I die.

And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.

- Mahatma Gandhi

When language is treated beautifully and interestingly, it can feel good for the body: It's nourishing; it's rejuvenating.

- Aimee Bender

Inhale. Exhale.

Arvin Narvaza

Let wander, your fingers, around my body.

Let them track the fields of warm ground, or your palms caress on bulges; on mountains, blind curves, and tips.

(Inhale. Exhale—the air you breathe from mine.

To mine from yours.)

Evade the deepest cave where warmth and moisture tame your wildness.

Be content with its sense of safety like shelter—stay there.

You may marvel the tree which would only grow with your nurturing hand; then, follow the furrows that leads you down to its roots.

(Inhale. Exhale—I taste what you breathe out. Taste from mine.)

Touch every inch and corner of me; Like a pilgrim would sin for a god.

Choose what to devour, or what to leave.

And if so you would go, you have taken a part of me.

Bittersweet Memories Riezel Rose A. Estrada

Your fingerprints were all around the room As my eyes roam, all I can see is you From every corner and area it’s you You laugher and tears, I can hear and see it too.

Inseparable, as everyone says We are like Yin and Yang, twins of fate Hands intertwined ready to make our way.

To the future, with so much love and faith.

Twins as we are, but death is on our way He took you away, leaving me despair I prayed and begged Him just to make you stay But He seemed so deaf and unfair.

Fingerprints are your memories to me.

Laughters and tears were all just memories.

The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.

- Alan Watts

Dreams Under The Blanket Silence - Renz Marion F. Osa

Alteration of our Yesteryears - Jay Juniel R. Murcilla

I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.

- Stephen Hawking

Passionate Love Mary Jane Monsanto

My love for you is real All the pain from the past you’ve healed Right there on a thousand mile You and I will walk together along the aisle.

Gray No More

Trexy Jemimah B. Macabasa The sky seemed gray, though the sun hung about Broken shards of trust scattered on the ground Mistreated heart let none your passion out You pushed love away, yet love had you found.

Your feelings were tender like fallen snow It was as pure as it was so feeble Once you flew so high and now you’re down low Taken for granted by one so evil.

Snow eventually melts, and tears remain Those tears dry up and spring comes to rejoice Light up your face dear, let that smile retain Happiness over pain is but a choice.

The sky might look gray, as it was before But your welling eyes are no more, no more.

Day by Day Angel C. Villarojo

For years our sights held the ugliest grays We’ve trudged even ground with blisters on our soles With every meal we get into silent frays Day by day by day.

For years we could do nothing but wait in grief In sorrow, in trepidation, in angst, we clasped our hands Praying and hoping before we lose our relief Day by day by day.

For years we’ve waited with these silent tears Thrashing in our sleep for the living nightmare to end We wake from behind bars made of bones and fears Day by day by day.

For years we thought this day is naught That we will rot in the midst of war and remain prisoners But peace has come after all our distraught On this day.

Now we run with hopes ablaze in our hearts With pinning serving as armor, we look, finally for home With our past left in the dust, darkness parts On this day.

Each day the world is born anew for him who takes it rightly.

- James Russell Lowell

Hugas - Arvin Narvaza

Grasp -- The The Creative Creative Geezer Geezer Grasp

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.

John F. Kennedy

A Day To Remember Arjelu Johanys . Galpo

A day to remember for you and me, Sitting while holding hands under the tree, Holding each hands like there is no tomorrow, Hoping that God will still let me borrow.

A day to remember for you and me Reminiscing how we were young and free, Making each moment unforgettable, ‘Coz I want to bid what is memorable.

A day to remember for you and me, You gave so many things that I will surely remember, Wishing it wouldn’t be my last day. ‘Coz I want to be with you and stay.

We come to this end, my life is done.

But I promise, I will be renewed by your love.

Love that will never be gone, hopefully.

Name and Face Elica Ferr D. Baning

You change your name but couldn’t change your face A normal face to us yet loathe you do You look at the mirror in lonely days And search for a disbenefit or two.

Oh why you’re full of insecurities Or maybe it reminds you of one But please accept what’s in reality For there is beauty in you that was done.

Your name and face are two halves in a whole The change of one can alter the other Your name makes up identity and role Name repeats, but face is not like the other.

Accept your name and have identity Accept your face and aim simplicity.

Change is the lawyou of life.

And those "Live for what love, and die who look only to the past or present for what you're unwilling to live are certain to miss the future. without...”

- Seja Majeed, The - John F. Kennedy Forgotten Tale of Larsa

Everyday asaswewe die,die, we must be be “Everyday we must reborn.

If there were no death, life reborn. If there were no death, life would be meaningless.

would be meaningless.”

- John- Boep F. Kennedy

Joeng

Freedom of Speech Kobe Bryant L. Bannister

For what it’s worth to live and die To let you know what’s truth or lie Yet truth begets phase of ignorance For my adieu hear thy resonance.

War indeed retaliates lies The fruit of wisdom to kiss my demise Thus what bleeds distresses thy odds To perish I pursue the truth of roads.

Yes, ignorance makes rebellious heart Guides thyself to destructive start A path yet grows for his beliefs To kill a person for gods’ relief.

For who are you to pass judgment to others Disgraced by your past forefathers Yet your reason is for the glory of Almighty Taking a life for useless anarchy.

Where is humanity resting now?

Love and peace are forgotten somehow When does peace be earned by war?

No one wins but death so far.

But as I recall we're all free to speak This, restless soul killed for truth he seeks Thus this humanity is a mere illusion Where peace is earned by war and destruction.

Starting Point Lovely Campo

A path so dull, full of tragic memories and haunting realities, That took away every single faith that I have, Took away my faith of striving against the ugly lies of this world Voices, endless voices screaming, asking me to regain my faith, but how can I? I lost it already, it’s too late.

Blame me now, let me doom here forever.

I was destined to be with my Father, but I chose this path.

I wasted the time knowing that His endless forgiveness will still be there without thinking how evil the days were.

Where will I go now?

What will I do?

Where will I start?

Father! Spare me from this pit I’m in.

If there is nothing new under the sun, at least the sun itself is always new, always re-creating itself out of its own inexhaustible fire.

- Michael Sims

Restorations - Jay Juniel R. Murcilla Mary - The Original Bully

Under the Showerhead Orejet T. Guerrero

I reek off the night Body battered astray Not in for a tuck Unless Purity comes back.

Stripped to exposĂŠ Jets of water come play Trickle down my skin clean Take back Purity, if only.

Traces of sweat Stink of chocolate and cigarette All pride depart Drained to limbo, undetermined fate.

Thoughts gush painfully For Mother in bed And for the beds defiled By the lowly things I do for love.

Unmoved and stark There is none to reverse Purity betrays, however, Cleanliness consoles Under the showerhead.

An old thing becomes new if you detach it from what usually surrounds it.

- Robert Bresson

There were times my heart broke into painful fragments then my soul perseveringly gathered an ocean of strength on my voyage towards renewal.

- Angelica Hopes

Prince Charming Jan Marie M. Algar

The glimpse of your face, that makes my heart pace.

The sound of your voice, that messes my poise.

The wave of your hand, that makes my world grand.

Everyday’s a celebration with you.

My very own renewal found in you.

Your sheepish smiles as you do the sweetest.

Making my mind and heart bond in tempest.

An absolute precious gem in rarest.

Life is not your typical fairytale.

Exhaust. Makes you want to crumble and wail.

But in your place comes my very own lifeline.

Life’s suddenly my own fairy story.

Replenished. Renewed. Revitalized.

Being with you is more than I longed for.

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sticking to your unpleasant past and remain stupid for your whole life. Indeed, it’s a silent suicide when you decide to hold the angst in your heart and never let it go. Yes we cry, we get hurt, we lose focus and we lose sight along the way of life, but it will never be the end of everything. Find that light and take a first step rather than losing hope. If you refuse to get over it, then say hello to misery.

Let us take a look at forgiveness. Forgiving someone is not the same as accepting someone’s sin, instead, it is the tolerance of unconditional love. If there is repentance learn to forgive. Do not drag yourself around the burden of not forgiving; you will just end up hurting two people --- the one who sinned against you and yourself. Hate is too great burden to bear. Learn to see beyond the offense, otherwise you will not grow. According to Martin Luther King Jr., “He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power of love.”

Another is the sting of farewell when you cannot move on from the pain of the past when someone left you behind. Goodbyes are even more painful when there was no formal closure between both sides. But, we must remember that there are people who are not destined to be with us forever, but we just met them for a purpose and that is to learn something. Some people do change for the better. Set them free, there and then you will feel that there is something more majestic ahead. Moving on is indeed not easy, but those who accept the challenge are considered strong. Be renewed.

Sometimes our own desire is not the best for us.

In life, there are certain people and incidents that will pull us to see great opportunities. In order to break the chain, let us all learn to wake up, face the day with a strong spirit, and be renewed. We constantly commit mistakes, and we will always be, but that will never determine us who we are and who we will be. Human progress is neither automatic nor involuntary, but it is a process.

We may drown in the past and afraid what’s the forthcoming, but always remember to look up and you will see the hope. Up above is the truest answer if you also jive it with action.

We cannot run from our past and weaknesses. Learn to perish it out and be a new person not for others, but for yourself.

I give you this to take with you: Nothing remains as it was. If you know this, you can begin again, with pure joy in the uprootting.

-Judith Minty, Letters To My Daughters

Legacy

John Alfred Mascariñas Join me and see my legacy, On my side unity and peace are the only things I can see.

Hope and unconditional love are the things I can offer Never lose hope for I am with you forever.

Ablazing love you can share to others, Like Mother Theresa who loved and served, Forgiveness you may give to those who’ve hurt you, And rebuild the broken relationship.

Endless peace is now to be born, Decision is what you should do.

Many still do not know me, And some may still deny me.

Still my arms are wide open to those who come back, I can always forgive and carry your cross, As long as you repent and do good in any way, Remember I will be with you child and fulfill my faithful promise.

In school, work, home, or even when you’re alone, I will never let you fall in sinfulness, All the time I will be with you, Since the day I decided to make you.

Square Root Luzsyl Niña I. Echano

In struggling the battle of life and death The best in us is being revealed, Fighting ‘til we lose our breath, Not thinking if the wounds could be healed.

We only have two feet, But these can stand a thousand times Neglecting every disappointing defeat The proofs are the loathsome grimes, Everyday is remarkably tough, Yet it doesn’t stop even if we’ll be needing a tow, Never saying the stupid word ‘enough’ When the only choice left is to dig with a hoe.

As time goes by we are getting bolder, And fate finds its way to become brute So when challenges are a whole lot bigger Have a seat and get its square root.

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.

-Albert Einstein

It is not our job to remain whole. We came to lose our leaves / Like the trees, and be born again, / Drawing up from the great roots.

- Robert Bly

Highway Shiela Mae V. Alvarez

I see you somewhere along the way, Head is turning on to you, by the way.

I do not know what is in you, Eyes are drolling towards you, Ladies are jealous to me, And I realized you’re holding a sign, “Will you marry me?”

Forbidden Love Nnayaj Mae Q. Tagolimot

I could not think of anything to say Since you captured my mind each single day You made me breathless everytime you’re here That made me blushed when I caught your eyes stare.

I have loved you since I know what love is I hope you will love me back more than this There is only something I am sure of You have to love in order to be loved.

But all these convictions I have in mind I know will lead me to nowhere but to stop If I will continue to love you more I will not find myself anymore.

You are impossible to carry over And this love is forbidden forever.

Inocencia - Arvin Narvaza

“O you possessed by sturdy intellect, do observe the teaching that is hidden here...beneath the veil of verses so obscure.”-Dante Aliegheri The world that is saving mankind is on the brink of obliteration. A grim thought, is not it ? Well guess what; it is all real. Apocalypse or Armageddon call it whatever you want but it is closing in on us-fast. The cause? Our stupidity and arrogance.

No. This is not another “save the environment” thing. Saving the environment is not the core conflict.

Another Nay for those of you who think this is about politics, because again politics is not the real problem here - it Earl John L. Cabigon just never was. We are barely scratching the surface if the center of our conversation will be those issues. “So what is it?”, you may ask. Well, it is our lack of intuition to be a part of the world we are in.

Try to look around you; what are the people around you doing? Are they talking about things of great significance like economy, environment, or even politics? Are they enriching themselves with more knowledge? Or are they bubbling nonsense, doing nonsense, or worst doing nothing? To settle for lesser things is the main problem. To deny the pandemonium our world is in is what is killing it. To trust the world’s fate to the unseen maybe dogmatic in nature, but at the same time is unwise. Why leave something behind when you are able to make a change? For centuries, we have been in slumber because of these. And yet we are still in deep slumber. We have been so lenient to the point that the ghost we created are now haunting us. Nothing can be done from here on, but saving yourself.

Yes, the only way to survival is to save our own. Individualist thinking as others might claim, but to seek sanctuary of others is of no use if we have not found a sanctuary for ourselves. How would you preach of peace if you are not at peace? How will you fight for others if you are defenseless?

The world is beyond saving, but you can save yourself. By saving yourself, you save a part of the world. Mankind has been individualistic - a trait that is always our bane. So why not utilize it to be an asset? Go ahead and seek for wisdom, care for nothing but yours alone. You are chosen to be the savior. And when the time comes for you to take over the high ranks of men, by then you are ready to save your kind.

e B. Obina Anna Kristin

Gugma. Gugma na sad. Ay, sumo. Pero bisan unsa pa ka sumo, sure ko mao gyud ni nga topic ang rason nganu nipudyot ka niining basahuna. So, sa walay paglangay-langay, sugdan ta.

Huna-hunaa balik ang takna sa pag-ila nimo sa imung uyab. Kung wala pa ka’y uyab, huna-hunaa ang sitwasyon nga gusto nimu matagbo ang tawu nga matawag nimu nga “The One”, ang tawu nga gitagna sa pagpapitik dili lamang nianang gamay nga butang sa imung dughan apan apil na ang imung hypothalamus. Kanang taknaa nga magtagbo mo sa dalan nga pamati nimu nihunong sa pagtuyok ang kalibutan, niundang sa pagdagan sa orasan, ug niundang sa kalit ang pagpitik sa imong kasing-kasing, nga murag tanang bituon sa kalangitan misidlak dungan sa pagngisi sa imung “The One”. Sa matam-is nga pahiyom, nagsugod ang tanan. Oo, tanang pagbati sa usa ka batan-on.

Sugod sa paglupad sa kapanganuran paingon sa pagkabuak sa imung kasing-kasing ug pagkahanaw sa imong kalipay sama sa usa ka bula sa detergent soap. Wala nimu nabantayan ang mga panghitabo.

Naunsa ba nga nasakitan man ka?

Oo, ingun-ana ang usa ka tipikal nga istorya sa gugma. Human sa kalipay, muabot ang panahon nga ikaw masakitan. Ikaw mawad-an ug paglaum ug ang tao nga imung gihigugma mupasipala kanimo. Muabot sa punto nga mangita ka ug tubag sa mga pangutana sama sa:

“Unsa man akong nabuhat?”

“Ingun-adto lang ba kadali mawala ang tanan?”

“Wala na gyud ba bisan gamay? Bisan bahaw? Bisan dukot?”

Sa dugay na panahon ikaw maghilak. Kung pwede lang nga matulog, magdamgo, mupuyo sa imung pantasya og dili na mumata pa, mas pilion mo pa ang magpaka-sleeping beauty na lang. Apan dili ingun-ana kadali ang tanan. Gaeskwela ka og kinahanglan ka mupasar sa algebra, trigonometry, calculus, differential equations o unsa pa nga math subjects aron dili ma-cull. Lisod na maka ungang pa ug skwela. Busa nag lig-on ka. Nibakod ka kada buntag para atubangun ang dula sa kinabuhi. Dula nga kon sa Chess pa, matehunon na. Maayo pa ang chess adunay king ug queen.

Human sa pila kagabie nga paghilak, human sa pila ka bulan nga pagsubo, muabot gayod ang panahon nga makahuna-huna ka nga ang tanan human na, ug walay maayo nga butang ang mahitabo kanimo kung magpabilin ka nga luya ug walay gana. Bisan pa ug hatagan ka ug higayon nga balikan ang tanan, ikaw mismo mubalibad na kay nahibalo na ka nga adunay laing tao nga mas takos hatagan sa imong gugma ug mas takos muhigugma kanimo. Human ka masakitan, lig-on na ka enough to say that love is neither about the spark nor the kilig-to-the-bones effect. The story should not just be about the admiration and curiosity.

Muabot ang panahon nga ang tawu maka-move on. Mao kini ang punto nga napasaylo na niya dili lamang ang tao nga nakasakit kaniya apan apil na ang iyang kaugalingon - nga mahatagan niya ug higayon nga muhigugma pag-usab, dili man sa dali nga panahon apan sa takna nga oras. Kung kanus-a, walay makahibalo.

When tears no longer fall and the sweetness of someone’s heart can finally bring back the smiles, when the heart feels the pain no more and the joy alone keeps the heart beating, a better person is born out of the ordinary. After the realizations and renewal, a new love will soon come, and a new story will soon be told. Kay ingun-ana man gyud na, murag cycle ba. Each heartbreak, one will realize and learn something. Then one chooses to love again. The cycle goes on untill one meets the right person that is just meant for him/her.

On the other hand, this does not point out nga mag-uyab-uyab nalang taman sa ginhawa hangtod makita si “The One”. Naa pa’y klase, mga besh. Ingun-ani lang gyud ang normal nga love story, as people say. Kung sa laundry pa, kusu-kusuhon ug masakitan man ka, okay ra kay pagkahuman, limpyo na gayud ka.

“Commit yourself only when you’re ready to be hurt”, some singles say. So, unsa man?

Gugma pa more?

Society has long gone

influenced by the norms that this

The Woman

generation set. Now, how much the growing up kids be influenced? What will happen to them?

To their values? Beliefs? To their actions and to their future?

Is not it somehow infuriating to live in the years before the Facebook is used

to meet new friends, text messages instead of snail mail? I fail to comprehend the things that this world offers because of the presence of ‘new’ innovations and world advancements.

I pity the generation who are mistaken to be the suspect when they are only

the victims. People tend to see the importance of a thing based on its amount not because of its value. This may not threatening for now, but it will be in the future when people find happiness artificially.

When will righteousness, purity, truthfulness, unconditional love and

unselfishness be summoned? Rarely, I see these traits, and I keep seeing lust instead of love? Selfish desires instead of dreams and corrupted hearts instead of pure hearts.

Because we are human, we make mistakes, but it is also our choice to

be deceived or to be the deceiver. Life can be a piece of cake if you seek for the only truth that you chose to neglect. Just like a gift refused for money or something important to us. We want to have fun which we think is more important. We just see the things that we want to see, hear what we want to hear, believe what we want to believe, and the traits which we think are likeable instead of going beyond the surface and discover what is more important.

Would you be brave enough to be a radical person? They say if you want

things to happen, then be “The Start”. So, will you give me your hands? Together, we can summon those traits. Change is constant, but so much of it is not good at all.

Cell Membrane - The Creative Geezer

Fisherman’s Journey - Roselle Escalante

Change What You Think Gabrielle V. Aranas

When I asked my friend to describe me in a word, she said, “Confident�. If

she had said that two years ago, I would have laughed, and she would have laughed along, because both of us would have known that it was impossible. I spoke only when spoken to, recited only when called, and kept my opinions to myself in the belief that I was irrelevant. Deep inside, I knew I was a fool for keeping myself within the walls that I had built. And so, I decided to change that notion.

And so should you.

Most times, we set our limits around what we believe. We believe that

because we have failed in the past, it has become impossible to change the outcome, no matter how hard we try. We think that because we have never tasted success, we should not bother to set our goals high. This way of thinking has caused us to look at everything negatively, including ourselves. Because of our beliefs, we have stepped on our own dreams, desires, and worth.

But cannot we believe in the opposite?

We are the only ones who make ourselves believe such things. Anyone can

shove us down and tell us that we are worthless, but in the end, it comes down to what we think about that. We could sulk, believe them, and live a life with constant doubt. We could also roll our eyes and stand by our knowledge that we are not what they say we are. Nothing they say can totally affect us unless we allow ourselves to be vulnerable by believing it ourselves.

Changing the way we perceive our abilities is truly a tedious task, but once

done, unlocks a million doors of possibilities. As soon as we do, we can finally see what we have missed. We then alter ourselves completely, aiming for the endless outcomes instead of the thick wall that once towered over us.

Change comes form the inside of us, and while that might sound like it was

taken right out of a pink, flowered-splattered book of inspirational quotes, it is most certainly true.

Cris Roger B. Olape

The broken puzzle continues to full-dress.

Even how melancholic the tragedy was, Visayas is on the road to recovery, not because of the help of any government institutions, but because of the determination of the survivors. Enough to prove the resiliency that we Filipinos are very well-founded.

The flood had affected a part of the life of the residents, but it did not hinder them to wake up from that outlandish circumstance. Yes, Filipinos can stand independently at the crossroad of exertions.

November 9, 2013 – the unexpected day of unfavorable occurrence of Typhoon Yolanda that brought devastation to many Filipinos. It was a night full of scattered dreams. The howling of the wind, the sound of lightning and the colliding transportations --- all were marks of a gigantic event that claimed many lives and destroyed not just infrastructures, but hopes as well.

Many lives had breathed the last chance, foundations were destroyed, people had shed tears into their faces, and many individuals were missing and are still gone as of this writing. This is a tragedy that most survivors cannot overcome.

Worst, some were still caged in the nightmare without any idea how to move on.

Yes, Visayas is on the verge of grasping the opportunity to live again, but we cannot deny the incident and the incompetence of many leaders when it comes to response and mitigation which somehow left the survivors to ease the pain alone.

Still, we must not let this stop us to hope and look forward.

Moving on has no shortcuts, it is a process, but when you are already on the peak of accepting that certain things happened for a purpose, you will feel that new life awaits for you. Never settle to your current miseries. Go out and find the light of new beginnings. You are the only one to help yourself recover and start anew.

Yolanda might have destroyed, smashed and ruined a part of you, but not the whole of what you can do. Give yourself a time recuperate, but never make that instant a lifetime.

We may look back in the precedent but as the proverb said, “The past will never be the present so be ready with the forth-coming.� The everyday setting of the sun ignited the improving and recovering island of Visayas.

Color Embodiment - Bryant Zaragoza

Incognito - Rhan Jury Cagas

A Thank you for Moymoy Daryl H. Bao

Hot.

Aside from sticky, filthy and sweaty, that’s what I’m feeling this afternoon. Hot, not because of my 32-28-30 vital stats but it was just literally hot. Well, I got no choice.

I’m just a fresh communications graduate and a newbie in media affairs. I just have to endure this packed audience and listen to the boring “pangakong hindi napapako” speech of the running mayor of this city. Being a female in a male-abounded media newspaper publication is a difficult work considering the prejudices my co-workers have put on my toll. So, I am stuck here together with maybe three hundred to five hundred people in an “air-conditioned” gymnasium hoping to impress my EIC with an article worth a space in the paper.

I don’t even get how these people managed to stay upright after almost two hours of speeches from four different speakers and the remaining five aren’t even done yet. Most of them are not even listening to the speeches. Some are just texting and fidgeting with the apps in their phones. Others are busy blabbering with their mouths that they sounded like they’re in the market and not in a semi-formal occasion. There have been rumors about a ”pa ulan” after their political endorsements so maybe that is why this crowd is still not dispersing. Yup, that’s just traditional politics everyone. If you ain’t got money, politics is not the place for you honey.

Amidst the rowdy crowd and the booming sounds from the amplifiers, I noticed a run-down looking boy at the right side bleachers. From a distance, he’s maybe ten or twelve years old with skin as brown as mud. Yet, what caught my attention is that he’s listening keenly to the politician’s words on the stage and occasionally smirking with delight as if he heard something good from them. My curiousness took over and I soon found myself approaching the child.

“Hello”, I said to the boy trying really hard not to startle him.

“Hi ate”, he replied meekly.

“Ano bang pangalan mo dear?”

“Moymoy, Moymoy Peña po. eh ikaw ate. Sino ka ba?” the boy responded with interest.

“Ako nga pala si Nika Mendelo. Teka nasaan bang mga magulang mo Moymoy?” I asked.

“Wala po sila rito ate. Iniwan na kami ni mama noong maliit pa ang bunso kong kapatid.

Si papa naman siguro ay kahapon pa sa kabilang barangay nagsusugal,” He said cheerlessly to me.

“Ahh,” I stupidly replied.

Unable to find the words to use for a reply, I was trapped in an awkward silence facing the child. Luckily, he turned towards the stage to listen. I, a cum laude graduate of BS-Communications held speechless by a child, that’s a new level of lame for me.

Who would think that an approximately ten year old child with unbelievably irresponsible parents can manage to smile and look carefree after all he’s been through. Being raised in a well-rounded family, I found this very strange.

There it goes again.That streak of a smile the boy has made me very anxious of what he heard from the politicians. But all I could retain was that one of them was saying “pagsisilbihan ko kayo dahil kayo ang boss ko” which made perfect sense to say in order to get as many voters as possible. The boy glanced at me and I can see from his face that he was happy of what he heard.

“Akalain mo yun ate Nika, tayo daw ang boss niya!” , he exclaimed.

“Aah, Oo Moymoy. Ang galing-galing niya” I responded although it was a lie. Knowing the current state of the government, I knew that politician was not aiming to be a public servant but rather as a blue-collared thief. But, I just can’t crush the hopes of this kid. So, I let it go.

“Kanina pa kita nakikitang pangiti-ngiti Moymoy ah?”, I asked.

“Eleksyon na kasi ate”, Moymoy replied.

“Eleksyon? Hindi ka pa naman siguro ganun ka tanda para makaboto Moymoy!”, I responded with a suprising tone.

“Hindi nga ate. Pero ang dami ko kasing nakukuha kapag eleksyon eh”, he responded.

“Ano? Hindi ko maintindihan ang mga pinagsasabi mo Moymoy”, I questionably replied.

“Marami kasing mga papel na may mga mukha nila na pakalat-kalat sa daan ate. Mas marami akong nabebenta at kinikita lalong-lalo na ngayon na mas mayayaman ang mga tatakbo”, he happily responded.

“Mas makakakain kami ng maayos ng mga kapatid at lola ko, ako na kasi ang nagsisilbing padre de pamilya ate eh”, he proudly added.

My respect for this kid had just gone through the roof. Instead of playing, going to school or making friends, here he was finding ways to live another day. I was just so beguiled by the responsibility he was carrying that words could not form in my head to respond.

“Maaayos ko na rin ang aming bahay. Tumutulo na kasi ang bubong namin ate. Gagawin kong pantapal yung mga tarpaulin na inilagay nila doon sa may plaza”, Moymoy cheerfully exclaimed.

“Moymoy nakakapag-aral ka pa ba?”, I inquired.

“Hanggang grade three lang ako nakapag-aral ate Nika. Kailangan na kasing magtrabaho.

Mula nung umalis na si mama wala nang ginawa si papa kung’di maglasing at magsugal.

Hindi ko na natiis ang mga hinaing ng aking mga kapatid dahil nagugutom na sila kung kaya’t nagsimula na akong magbanat ng buto”, he explained.

A trickle of tear flowed down my cheeks as I’ve heard his story. It seems so sad that a boy of this age is experiencing these kinds of hardships.

“Uyy, ate! Ba’t ka umiiyak? Wala naman akong nasabing mali diba?”, he reacted. I immediately wiped off the tears with my hanky and gestured a ‘no’.

The entire political campaign ended in a small fireworks display which momentarily diverted my attention. After the lightshow, the crowd began to move towards a booth on the left side of the gym. A man holding a thick stack of small brown envelopes began distributing them into each of the audiences after they wrote something on a paper, probably their name and signature.

“Ate, manghihingi muna ako ng pa-ulan doon.”, Momoy excitedly requested.

Without waiting for an answer, he immediately dashed off to the other side of the gym. After a while I decided to work on my article at a coffee shop near the plaza. When I arrived there, I ordered one cup of black coffee because I need the extra caffeine to stay up after a long afternoon of standing and being squeezed in the gymnasium. I sat at a table near a glass wall facing the plaza and opened my laptop to start writing.

My cup’s almost empty but still my paper is bare. I can’t seem to condense my words and put them in writing. It’s mainly because of Moymoy and his unfortunate life that got me distracted. Moments later, I saw a familiar figure on the other side of the road trying to lift the metal nails of a campaign ad. It was Moymoy.

“Moymoy! Basta basta mo na lang akong iniwan kanina ah!”, I mockingly complained.

“Sorry ate, nagmadali ako eh, baka maubusan ako pero buti na lang wala, inuubo pa naman ang bunso kong kapatid”, he answered and at the same time flashed a five hundred peso bill from his pocket.

“Ok lang Moymoy, hindi ka ba naiingit sa ibang bata diyan sa plaza na naglalaro lang? I asked.

“Naiingit ate, pero mas kailangan kong magtrabaho kaysa maglaro para makakain kami ng tatlong beses sa isang araw. Natutuwa nga ako eh. Dahil nga eleksyon mas tumingkad na ang kulay ng plaza. Naayos nang mga swing at slides. Ang buong paligid nito ay malinis na. Kahit pa paano naiibsan nito ang hirap ng buhay na dinaranas ko ngayon.”

Moymoy explained as he tinkered with the bindings of the tarpaulin.

“Para sa akin ate ang eleksyon ay para ng pasko. Ah, hindi pala mas masaya pa nga ito kaysa pasko”, he merrily added.

Before I got teary eyed again, I helped him remove the campaign ad from the tree and afterwards we started strolling in the sides of the plaza to buy a cough remedy.

I offered Moymoy a slice of brownie from the coffee shop which he graciously accepted.

“Salamat ate”, he gladly said after taking a bite and then keeping the rest.

“Kainin mo na yun Moymoy, may apat pa ako dito. Eto na lang ibigay mo sa mga kapatid at lola mo”, I offered and at the same time giving him the four slices of brownies.

“Salamat talaga ate Nika. G..G.God b.bbless you po.” he innocently stammered.

As he ate the pastry, I thought about his views about the election which are all true.

“Alam mo ba Moymoy na mali yang ginagawa nilang pamamahagi ng pera?”, I asked.

“Alam ko naman ate at hindi ko naman gustong magkasala kay Hesus pero dito lang ako umaasa eh para kumita ng extra. Balang araw po kapag nakaahon na kami sa kahirapan ihihinto ko naman po ito”, he answered.

We arrived at the pharmacy and bought the cough medicine and other groceries that his family could use. Moymoy insisted that he’d pay for the syrup but I didn’t let him.

It’s the least I could do to help him.

“Salamat sa lahat ate Nika,” he said as we head out of the drugstore.

“Walang anuman Moymoy, basta’t ipangako mo na hindi ka susuko sa mga hamon ng buhay”, I requested “Promise po ate. Hindi ako susuko”, he said with certainty.

“Oh, eto cellphone number ko, huwag kang mag alangang tumawag kong may problema kayo Moymoy ah?”, I said.

“Opo ate. Salamat talaga ng maraming beses”, he answered before wrapping his arms around my waist to embrace me.

“Sige po ate salamat uuwi na ako”, he said before turning his back against me and started walking to the other side of the road.

As the boy disappeared from my sight, I felt an urge. An urge to tell this story to others and make them aware that this is happening. Corruption leads to more corruption to the point that we don’t even know what’s right from wrong, just like Moymoy, forced to play along the tricks of corruption just to ease the grip of poverty.

With my passion rekindled and renewed, ideas and words started flowing in my thoughts ready to be put on paper. I now know what I’m going to write.

“Thank you Moymoy”

Pag-asa Sa Bawat Paglisan Yellen Dianara C. Bacolod

“Lumilipas ang panahon kabiyak ng ating gunita, ang mga puno’t halaman bakit kailngang lumisan,” isang lumang tugtuging sumasaliw sa aking puso’t isipan. Ang awiting ito ay nagpapa-alala sa akin ng mga masasaya at malulungkot na kahapong nagdaan. Tila ba kinakabog ang aking damdamin tungo sa isang nakaraang nais kong balikan, kalimutan o baunin? Kailangan bang may magbago at mawala para maintindihan natin ang kahalagahan ng bawat bagay?

Nang maimulat ko ang aking mga mata, nakita ko kung paano ako hinubog upang maging isang matibay na indibidwal. Napagtanto ko na bawat pighati at pagkawala ng mga mahahalagang tao o bagay ay may dahilan.

Bumabalik pa sa aking balintataw noong nawalan ako ng isang malapit na kaibigan. Isa siya sa maituturing kong tunay na kaibigang karnal. Sabay kaming naniwala na makakamtan namin ang aming pinakamimithi. Siya yung klase ng tao na may maraming gustong patunayan sa buhay at ako naman ang sumusuporta sa lahat ng kanyang nais. Kaakibat namin ang isa’t-isa sa tuwing may pinanghihinaan ng loob. Siya lamang ang tumaggap sa akin na hindi hinuhusgahan ang pisikal kong anyo at estado sa buhay datapwat iminulat niya ang kanyang mga mata at tinitingnan ang aking puso.

Sabay sa pagbago ng panahon ay ang pagbabago ng aming mundo. Sa isang kisap-mata ay lumayo at tuluyang nawala ang aking kaibigan. Naiwan akong may katanungan sa aking alumpihit na isipan.

Nasa kolehiyo na siya noon at masayang binubuo ang kanyang pangarap.

Di ba sabay kaming nangarap? Ngunit ngayon, may bagong kaibigan na siyang kaharap at naiwan ako dito sa madilim na ulap. Habang pinagmamasdan ko ang kanyang tagumpay para bang bigla akong nalumpo dahil nawalan ako ng isang paa.

Napakadaya niya! Gusto kong sumigaw ngunit may bumubulong sa akin na tumayo at magpatuloy. Hindi lamang siya basta’t kaibigan kundi isang biyayang ipinagkaloob sa akin pero siya ay biglang lumisan.

Nakakapanibugho man,ngunit may darating sa buhay natin at aalis din na parang bula. Siguro, wala talagang permanente dito sa mundo , pero alam niyo ba ang dahilan bakit may lumilisan at dumarating? Simple lang, may mga taong pumapasok sa buhay natin para magdala lamang ng aral upang maimulat natin ang ating sarili na mayroong naghihintay na magandang kinabukasang inihanda sa atin nang Maykapal. Siyang tunay, may inaalis ang Diyos na mga bagay at tao na magiging sagabal para marating natin ang mga planong kanyang inilaan. Mayroon ring mga tao na patuloy na nasa ating tabi upang gabayan tayo at may mga darating upang pasayahin tayo ulit. Alinman sa mga dahilang ito ay ang pagpapala ko dahil naging malakas at matibay akong harapin ang sakit at mga paglisan. Naniniwala akong bawat sakit at luha ay isang daan upang mabuksan natin ang ating puso palapit sa Diyos.

Nagbago man ang lahat ngayon, babaunin ko ang alaala ng aking kaibigan bagkos kinalimutan niya ang aming pagkakaibigan. Subalit buong puso akong nagpapasalamat dahil naging parte siya nang buhay ko. Hindi mahirap magparaya, matalo at tanggapin ang pagbabago kung marunong lamang tayong magpatawad at maging kuntento.

Kaya kaibigan, kung nasaan ka man ngayon, tagumpay ko ang tagumpay mo at nagpapasalamat ako at nahanap ko ang kahalagahan nang buhay, dahil sa iyong paglisan, pag-asa ang aking nakamtan.

I Gi ve My Last Love to You Roshelle Novie L. Cabrido

“Now, I decided to give my last love to you”, I whispered as I close my eyes forever.

I am no bachelor. I tied a knot with the woman I am in love with on the 16th of August 1994. I have a happy family with a vibrant wife and three energetic kids. I was truly in love with my wife who gave her first love to me despite of the fact that she is not the first woman I like. We are 360 degrees opposite, still, she tries so hard to make our relationship work. We enjoyed the ‘ups’ in our life and we both learned in our ‘downs’.

“You are my first love, I decided for it, and that’s what my heart wants me to tell you”, my wife always say that words to me. And I am happy to be her first.

I can see a picture-perfect married life; kids who gave me inspiration to strive for a better standard of living and a wife who in difficult times sheltered my heart from breaking.

Until now, I am still thankful that I met a woman who treasures a lifelong-union with me and raised our children full of love.

I told myself, “Never will I break my marital vows and my relationship with my wife will not be broken by any other means other than that of death.”

As long as I am breathing I will protect and love my wife for eternity.

For 20 years of being together, we never had a serious fight. It’s like everyday is a date, for my eyes still see her as a young beautiful lady I courted 20 years ago whose ‘I do’ are words from heaven telling me that I was the most favored man in the world that time. That’s the side benefit of being married, you’re always inspired.

But I changed.

The situation as well changed to something not worth my day to day expectations.

I want something new. I feel bored and uninterested to a married life. I want a new spice of love like what I felt when we first met, but I can’t find that now.

There was such time that I feel awkwardly terrible and I find my life with my wife not the thrilling adventure I once anticipated. I hate to admit that I fall out of love.

I feel that there is nothing left to fight for. It may sound selfish, but it’s true. I feel no excitement whenever I see my wife. The woman who once became the subject of my affection is such an ordinary lady now. Our relationship is not healthy anymore, no ecstatic bliss of overflowing warmth and everything we do together is much less exciting.

Weeks passed, I was attracted to another woman in our office, Beth. I found the delight of another life inspiration in Beth. She is single with two kids. Like me, she lost herself into a situation where she feels that married life is boring and tedious. Maybe it’s the reason why I like her so easily.

Whenever I woke up, I look forward of seeing Beth in our workplace. I know I’m sinning, but I let it slide. I sleep with my wife every evening, but I was thinking of Beth all along. It was like going home was just a responsibility as a husband and dad and not because I want to.

I can’t control my feelings over Beth, I slept with her and I committed extramarital sex. We did it not just over a night or two, but several times. Morally and socially I sinned,

but I kept on doing it.

When I go home early morning, I always see my wife preparing breakfast for me. My uniforms were well ironed and I heard no word from her asking me where I spent my night. I still respect my wife, that’s all. But the love I once felt for her vanished. I can’t explain if it really vanished or what, but that was what I felt.

I asked my wife for an annulment. She sat with no response, ate, and then went to our room to get my uniform then she told me.

“I am happy to spend 20 years with you Mike and I think nobody is at fault that you fall out of love over me. I understand you, though it really hurt me to hear those words coming from the mouth of the man I am willing to devote my whole life with.

You’ve been a good husband to me and a respectable dad to our kids. They are all grown up now, I think they will understand your decision for an annulment. But, there is just one thing I want to ask before I grant the separation… ”

She blankly stared at me. The confusions were all in my mind.

“Can I ask you to be with me and act like you are still in love with me for just a month?

Only a month, and then we’ll process our annulment papers together”, she said.

I don’t know how to react, but her eyes paved me to say, ‘Okay’. So the condition will last for just a month and I will be freed from our marriage. I thought I would be happy to hear that, instead I feel to uneasy.

I decided not to see Beth for a month because I still respect my wife’s request.

Since then, I do the usual things I do for my family way back when we were still happily living together. I bring a bouquet of flowers for my wife after my work, I surprised her, and I cooked for our meal.

I also designed dinner date with my wife and three kids. We spent weeks as a normal family. But there was this thing I don’t understand, I feel happy.

For the first two weeks, everything I do to her is just part of the ‘one month agreement’, but unconsciously I felt something weird inside, the agreement was never an agreement after all. It became seriously true. I learned how to sustain the love, again.

Either way, I woke up differently. My love for my wife was unintentionally regained. I loved her once more.

I don’t know, but Beth never crossed my mind even once when I was with my family. Nonetheless, I am trying to convince myself that this was just an illusion, but it’s striking me crazy. I begin to love my wife again.

I confronted Beth, and I ended everything between us and said to her that it was a big mistake having an affair with her. I made a trouble both for Beth and my wife, but I need to choose who in the middle of the two. I ended up committed to the relationship I promised in front of the Lord, I chose my wife.

On July 25, 2015, the exact one month of our agreement, I felt so excited that I ordered a bouquet of red roses for my wife to ask for her forgiveness that my mortality led me to romantic deception with another woman. She does not have a single thought that the supposed-to-be ‘one month agreement‘ we made helped me to realize that I did not fall out of love.

I hesitated as to the exact words I must say for her to forgive me, but I still pursued my plans on asking her hands again. On my way, I felt shaky and nervous. The wind was salient for its cold unstable breeze wrapped my body. The blue skies a while ago turned to something grayish. I felt strange and cold.

As I walked, my mind was murmuring for the

things I need to confess. All the awful decisions I made including the love I wasn’t able to sustain wholeheartedly. I was ready as I entered our house.

As I opened the door, I heard a voice. “What’s that?“, I asked myself.

Somebody was on the bed. Someone was under the blanket. “My wife”, I said.

For a moment I feel numb. I can’t believe what I saw. I never expected to see such scene. My wife, my wife. I exclaimed to ease the pain, but it’s soundless. No voice.

I can’t hear anything. Everything went black. All I can see is myself drowned with tears.

“This is not true“, I am trying to give myself a false hope.

Mike,

I can still remember the very first day I met you, from that day on, I became a fan of ‘fate’. Way back, I never expected you’ll play a significant role in my life. You don’t believe of first and last love, well, I can’t blame you. But, I am a believer of that, and you are the living testament of my belief.

Way back I was full of courage to seize my relationship with you since you’re my first and thank you for helping me out to prove myself correct. I doubt every decision I made in life, but the only thing I never doubted is my love for you Mike.

Now I understand the word true love, even how painful it is, I accepted that you fall out of love. I shed tears over my decision to set you free from our marriage, and the piece of hope that someday we’ll still end up together is much more painful. I want to hold you back, but I greatly love you for not giving you the freedom you want. I am happy for the month you were with me. Though I know your acts towards me were all just because of my request, still, I feel happy.

My love for you never runs out and it will never be. You will forever be my first and last love.

Loving, Luisa

Later did I know that she suffered Leukemia for almost 4 years and she was given a month before her body surrenders. She hid it from me and from our kids. She fought alone.

I overanalyzed my emotions for thinking that I fall out of love when in fact it’s just a cyclical part of marriage. Sometimes you feel bored because you see the same person every morning and before you go to sleep. You see the same face every now and then that you feel everything is a routine. But now I understand that the foundation of marriage is not just love but also decision. When you love a person, you must also decide. Without decision, everything will just be a feeling, and feelings alone will surely vanish over time.

Unfortunately, I realized things late. Now she’s gone.

It maybe so selfish, but her death let me see things differently. Yes, I was attracted to worldly happiness. Yes, I was so dumb for saying such words now that she’s nowhere to be found. Yes, I am a sinner, but I learned to live again.

Now, I am here, 85 years old, sitting in the couch alone. My vision is blurry. I can feel the weakness in my body. The day has come, I shall see her again. She might not be my first love, but I definitely give my last love to her. My last breathe is a sigh of relief that before I die, I was able to learn something from the painful love I had. I may die, but my love was renewed.

“Now, I decided to give my last love to you”, I whispered as I close my eyes forever.

New Life Awaits Michelle Love R. Hilario

Life is mysterious. We will never know when our life ends. Most of us are afraid to die for some reasons, but we have to accept the fact that nothing is permanent in this world. We will all die and no one is exempted from it. This borrowed life is precious that is why we have to take good care of it and live accordingly because nothing is valuable enough to replace it. We tend to regret things that we failed to do and words should have been said. Sometimes, we ignore the value of someone and realize the importance of that someone when he is already gone.

Morning of July 6, 2014, grief covered the cemetery when another life was gone.

All were in sorrow as we reminisced our memories with my dear nephew when he was still alive. This day was our last glimpse of him and sent him to his resting place. Memories of him recurred in my mind. His name was Ivan, a young boy who was given 11 years to live in this world.

Ivan is the eldest among the three siblings and the only boy among them. He was born with cerebral palsy and has underwent operation at the age of three. In this case, he was a bit different from other children. The way he thinks is a bit younger than his age. Even though he has this disability, he had vivid imagination and had dreams in life at a young age.

Ivan and I had the same old school. I was in high school and he was in kindergarten.

He usually called me ‘Tita’ and give me a big smile. One time, he went to my classroom and exclaimed, “Have you seen my Tita?” then everybody stared at him. He entered the room with excitement in his face as he called me. With a winsome smile he said, “Hi I’m Ivan, and this is my Aunt.”

As time went by, her younger sister already went to school, but he was still in kindergarten since he repeated kindergarten twice. When recognition day came, his sister was first honor in class and he was the second honor. He suddenly asked his mother, “Mom, why is it that Nadine is first honor while I’m only second honor”. His mother was silent for a moment because she was having a hard time to explain. But with comforting words she said to her teary son, “Honey, you are intelligent. It’s just that you have your own strengths and weaknesses.

Being second honor is a great thing and should be proud of.”

“I want to be an engineer just like my father.” With pride he uttered those words in speech during his graduation day. “Tita, I will be in grade one soon, I am so excited to go to school”, he said. “Congratulations! I’m so proud of you”, I replied.

On April 4, 2014, our great grandmother got very sick and was brought to the hospital.

Ivan was in the same hospital because he was to be circumcised that day. Four days past, his life changed. He can no longer speak clearly, his eyes crossed, his toes were deformed, and half of his body was paralyzed. The family was alarmed about it but was not able to consult the doctor because all were busy to attend to great grandma’s needs. The time they visited her, Ivan looked at her and saw that she has underwent so much pain and could hardly breathe with the tube place inside her nose for feeding. He turned to his grandma, “Lola I don’t want to be like great grandma. I don’t want to die yet. I have dreams in life that I want to accomplish and things I want to do.” “Don’t say such things. Be strong, you’ll be alright”, great grandma replied to comfort him.

April 30, 2014, grandma took her last breath. During the last vigil, I was totally shocked when I saw him. “What happened to you?” I asked but he has no reply. He greeted me and went inside the funeral home with his grandpa assisting him. While we were inside, he talked to me. “Tita, can you still remember we went to the same school when I was little?” “Yes, Ivan”, I replied. “Did you remember the time I went into your room?” he asked. “Of course”, I responded. I hugged him, and then suddenly, he laid down on my lap and went to sleep.

Month has passed since we lost grandma and Ivan’s condition got even worst. One day he told his grandma that he doesn’t want to go to school because of his condition. He doesn’t want to be bullied. But his grandma told him not to think of what people might say. He went to his grandpa whom he considered as his best friend and asked him, “Lo, please stop working. Just stay here. I don’t want you to work anymore.” His uncle got mad and scolded him. “No, Ivan. You just want your grandpa to stop working just to take care of you. You’re just thinking of yourself.” Then silence surrounded the place. Later on while they were walking

along the street, he said, “I’m tired grandpa I cannot do it anymore.

The next morning, they found him lying on bed. He could not speak and he could not move his body. They panicked and rushed him into the hospital. At first, we thought that his condition has something to do with his circumcision. Later did we know that the tumour rapidly grew inside his brain at the estimated time of six months to one year. It was a rare kind of tumour that grew to men, 80% of those had it did not survive. The world has been shattered as the family knew about it. “He is still very young.” That was the first thing came out of their mind.

“How much time left does he have?”, his mother asked the doctor. “He has one month to live”, the doctor replied. Everyone burst out in cry when they knew the sad news. “Is there anything you can do about it?”, her mother asked again hoping that there’s still hope. But they were disappointed when the doctor explained to them that having him operated would not help the situation. At the age of 11, he already started building his dreams, but it all remain as dreams.

The family decided not to tell Ivan about his real condition. They spent the time left expressing their love and care for him. “Papa will be here”, Ivan said before he got very ill. His father has not been around for many years since he was working abroad. Week past when news came to his father, he came home. He was overwhelmed with joy that his father whom he seldom sees was finally home. He uttered “Papa” unexpectedly. He was holding his pair of jersey that his mother bought for his sport in school. He wanted to go home so much and go to school wearing his jersey and play basketball. His mother watching him felt pain inside.

Ivan’s condition got better that he could finally go home but feeding would still be through his nose. Happiness drew his face as his parents told him the news. He was very happy to be home and saw his room having an air condition; he raised his hand making a sign of approval. One night, a vision appeared to her mom that Ivan was operated in heaven. She then interpreted it that Ivan will be healed.

Ten days later, he was brought back to the hospital because of pneumonia and his lungs got infected. For six days he stayed in the hospital and the doctor told them that he was recovering fast and could go home within three days.

My mother and I were talking about him and shared to me her dream that Ivan was happily jumping in a room. We were thinking of visiting him after class when they informed us that he was in the hospital. It was 7 o’clock in the evening when we passed the hospital.

Unfortunately, we were not able to go due to the heavy rain and we were worried because we still have to buy milk for the baby. Nine o’clock in the evening, we arrived home when I received a text message informing that Ivan passed away. We rushed into the hospital and found him lying on the bed, lifeless. On June 30, 2014, two months since we lost grandma, Ivan followed her. We regret so much that we were unable to visit him that night when he was still alive.

Ivan’s grandma cried out to God and declared a miracle to bring him back to life. She said, “God, I declare for miracle. You raised Lazarus from death, how much more for Ivan. If you will let him live again, let his illness and sufferings be taken away, but if not, then I surrender him to you. If you are going to take him with you, please don’t take him without saying goodbye to his parents first.” In ten minutes time, he took a deep breath and came back to life. His direct family was there during that time. They surrounded him and prayed for him. With a heavy heart they still hope for healing. But then they realized that they have been selfish to let him suffer from pain and maybe he was waiting for them to let him go. Saying her last farewell, “Ivan, you know I love you so much. You already saw heaven right? Heaven is so beautiful. There, you will be happy and will no longer suffer. You’re cerebral palsy will be gone and you can already walk and run there. You can rest.”

His father sat beside him and said, “Son, I’m sorry for all things I have said and done that hurt you. Though we seldom see each other and be together, papa loves you, always remember that. Please forgive me.” After those last words, he closed his eyes. Ivan’s sleep will be forever.

His death was a great loss to the family. But his loss doesn’t remain forever. Through him, many broken relationship in the family have been restored and he surely will not be forgotten. We sometimes tend to hold on too much on something and afraid of letting it go. We have to accept the fact that nothing is permanent in this world. Sooner or later, we will all die and our body will go back to the dust which it originally came from. To die doesn’t mean to die forever because new life awaits and our journey has just begun to eternal life.

Ang O.A. na Story Alvin M. Edio “If one stumbles and loses his way, it doesn’t mean that he is lost forever.”

– Professor Xavier

Ang ganda ng quote noh? Yan ang mga sinabi ni Professor X. Naisip ko tuloy na kahit gaano kasama ang isang tao, may tinatago pa rin itong kabutihan. At yung mga mabubuti, ay may kasamaan ding tinatago sa kaloob-looban nila. Hay naku! Nakakalito!

Kaya din siguro namigay ang Diyos ng konsensya noh? Palagay mo?

Speaking of konsensya, naalala ko, hindi nga pala ako nakabayad ng pamasahe kanina sa driver ng jeep. Kaya naman pala ang lagkit ng tingin sa akin ni manong. Akala ko nababakla. Hayst! Patawad poh Lord!

Late na ako sa klase, mabilis akong naglakad sa hallway. Panay tingin ng mga babae sa akin. May dumi ba ako sa mukha? O napopogian silang lahat sa akin? Naku naman oh! Nakaka-tense tuloy!

“Toto! Hoy pare! Bukas ang zipper mo!” Yun ang sabi ng nakatagpo kong kaklase sa daan. (awkward mode)

Nakaka badtrip ang simula ng araw ko! Hay! Maka G.M. nga!

“Someday, someone’s gonna love me the way that I love you.”

-morning #seeking

Akala ko matatapos na ang araw ko ng hindi nakikita si Jenny, ang ultimate crush ko. Pero….pero….pero…hindi ko nga siya nakita. Sumpain ang araw ng Lunes!

Aaaaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

“Cos even the stars burn and some even falls to the earth and I’ll be there to

catch you when that happens.”

-goodnight #sweetdreams

Alas diyes na ng umaga ako nagising. Dali-daling naligo,at nagbihis. Sumakay ako ng jeep at umupo sa dulo. Panay tingin ko sa relo ni hindi ko namalayan na may sumakay at umupo na pala sa tabi ko. Magagalit na sana ako ng masiko nya at muntikan ng mahulog ang cellphone ko. Pero ng lumingon siya at nagsorry…….biglang bumagal ang ikot ng mundo. Kumikislap ang kanyang mga mata, ang pupula ng mga labi at may ala rosas na pisngi. Lalo pa akong natulala at napanga-nga ng nagsalita na siya.

“S-o-r-r-y” (slowmo), sabi ni Jenny. Wow! Ang bango ng hininga nya. Habang dahan-dahang inaangat ng hangin ang buhok niya, sabay ding tumugtog ang Angel Eyes theme.

“Beeeeeeeeeeepppppp!!!”

Prumeno bigla si manong ng malakas. Natigil ang moment ko. Ang kj ni manong! Pero okey lang, nakasabay ko naman sa pagpasok sa skwela si Jenny. (ang saya-saya!) kahit na nabubulol, pinilit ko pa ring magsalita para hingin ang number niya.

“Je-je-je-neeee…ah---ah---pe—pe—pe—we—de—mmmmma---ma—ma— mmmaa---hi—ngi—na—na—nammmm—be—be—ber mmmmo?”

“Sure!” sabay bigay ng number niya.

Lumipas ang mga araw at buwan. Naging close na kami. Sa sobrang close nga eh kulang na lang ang titulo naming “mag-syota”. Pero biglang nagbago ang lahat. Bakit ang bilis ng mga pangyayari? Bakit ambilis niyang magbago ng isip?

Minsan lang ako maging straightforward, sort of. Tuwing kasi nag uusap kami (nagtetext) ay para bang wala naman talaga kaming konkretong napag uusapan. Kaya, idadaan na lang sa sulat. Kahit di to makarating sa kanya.

January 2, 2010

Para kay Jenny,

Jen, alam mo bang mula noong unang araw mo akong talagang tinext ay umiba kaagad ang tingin ko sayo? Ambaba baba na kasi ng turing ko sa sarili ko nun e, ngunit nung biglang nasama ka sa pambihira at napaka walang kwentang landas ng buhay ko ay naisip ko agad, “Naku, ano kayang nakita nito sakin?” Crush kita nun eh, di lang basta crush, ultimate crush talaga, magpa-hanggang ngayon din naman. At halatang- halata na may gusto ka rin sa akin. (feeling ko lang naman)

Kaya maiintindihan mo naman siguro kung bakit pinili ko ring sumali sa iyung laro at magpanggap na parang walang nangyayari sa pagitan natin. Puro tayo paramdaman ng nararamdaman. Puro tayo ka-plastikan sa isa’t-isa. Tumatawa kahit wala namang katatawanan.

Pero isang araw, bigla na lang natigil ang lahat ng namamagitan sa atin.

Di ka na nagtetext. Mabuti pa ang multo, nagpaparamdam.

Natakot ako, alam kong meron ka namang nararamdaman para sa akin, at sige na, aaminin kong meron din akong nararamdaman para sayo nung mga panahon ding iyon. May spark na yun e, kelangan na lang e-ignite. Para akong nabasang ulo ng posporo.

Nung di ka na nagtext? Naglasing ako. Uminom hanggang magdamag. Halos basagin ko na lahat ng mababasag na bagay na madaanan ko. Muntikan na akong di makauwi sa kalasingan. Parang zombie na ako kung maglakad at sumusuka pa. (nagkalat tuloy ang isinuka kong spaghetti sa daan)

“Galit ka ba sa akin? Ano ba ang nagawa ko?” Itinago ko pa ang pagiging sabik na sabik sayo sa pag-aakalang magkikita pa tayong muli.

At nagsimula doon ang isang, para sa tingin ko, pinakamakahulugang relasyon sa pagitan ng dalawang tao, sa pagitan natin. Bawat araw ang ginagawa ko ay silipin ang cellphone ko kung nagtext ka naba na di ko pinagsasawaan.

Noon at ngayon, sa pagkakaalam ko ay mag MU tayo.

Malabong Usapan.

Ano ba ang nangyari sa atin? Naging magkaibigan tayo, pero ngayon, bakit bigla mo na lang akong iniiwasan? Dahil ba sa love letter na pinaghirapan kong isulat pero panget pa rin ang kinalabasan? Dahil ba sa yellow paper lang ang gamit ko? Sulat doctor bah? O dahil ba sa torpe ako?

Hindi ka naman ganito dati e. Hindi rin naman ako depressed dati e. At kung depressed man ako, hinding-hindi ito dahil sayo.

Hindi ko naman ine-expect na gagawan mo ito kaagad ng solusyon o something.

Kasi alam kong di mo rin naiintidihan ang sitwasyon natin. (Di ko nga rin ineexpect na gagawan mo ng paraan e kasi problema ko to at mukhang ako lang ang makakapag-ayos.

Hanggang dito na lang ba tayo?)

Alam kong nakakagapi ang circumstances natin sa buhay kaya pinili mo na lang na pabayaan ang kung anuman ang mayroon sa atin. Alam kong mas inuuna mo ang studies mo at ang mga pangarap mo kesa sakin. Pero, sana di mo na lang ako binigyan ng tsansang umasa at mangarap na BAKA MAGING TAYO. Kaya, elelet go ko na ang feelings na ito. Ambigat-bigat na kasi. (Pasan ko ang daigdig ang peg) Di ka rin naman siguro iiyak. Di naman siguro ako iiyak. (hikbi toda max!)

Everything has never been easy for me. Minsan, napapaisip na lang ako kung tama ba ang mga pinag-gagagawa ko. Tama bang ay kalimutan?

Tama ba ang limutin ang lahat ng nararamdaman ko sayo? Araw-araw, para akong sinasaksak sa dibdib sa tuwing naiisip kita at sa panahon ding iyon ako araw-araw na namamatay.

Pero sabi nga ni Jack Kornfield, “To live fully is to let go and die with each passing moment, and to be reborn in each new one. “

Hanggang dito na lang siguro tayo? Baka? Ewan ko. Pero sana’y magkalapit pa uli tayo. Kung hindi man tayo nagwork bilang mag-syota, sana ay magwork din tayo bilang malapit na magkaibigan.

Umaasa, Toto

Gory Bits of Reality Christine Joy C. Baang

“I won’t make it, I’m sorry. Still in the office and I can’t sneak out for a moment. Could it be later?” Again, there is again. I have read the message for like what… the nth time?

I feel left out each time he did. I gripped my phone as tight as I could ever hold and as long as I stood out in that very same spot for like an hour or two not waiting anymore but more likely pitying and cursing myself, belittling of what has left of my little-to-begin-with self-belief.

I was having a vacation. After we graduated, held our degree, passed the licensure exam, he moved away… got accepted to a prestigious company from a distant city away from home.

Here I was, hoping to see what has become of the man I loved too much that it scared me.

He seemed fine. Too fine even, I fear.

I found myself getting him to look at me but with the eyes of a stranger.

I’d catch his gaze only to find looks that were different from before and smile that were not for me anymore.

We’ve found and settled our lives, contented with what’s new we had found in a journey we started out apart.

There and then, I knew…

I walked back in his home with my feet feeling too heavy to go anywhere; eyes too red and blurry to clearly see and enjoy the city at night; a mind too tired to understand.

I walked past the door, gone straight to his room and sat in his table. I gazed the whole of his room that smelled his scent and warmth I have missed for a long time.

The silence broke out when my phone rang. I looked into the screen with his name on it. I answered with a slightly shaky voice trying my very best not to sound silly.

“Hello?”, I responded.

“Sorry I didn’t make it. I can’t go home tonight because of some presentation I still need to---”

“Yeah. I know.” I cut him off midway. I continued, “Listen, baby you know I love you, right? Since you’ve been away, things have drastically changed given that we don’t see and talk and

spend time together often as we used to. Please do me a favor. What you have here, keep it and make it last.

I ended the call, made up my mind, looked at his desk calendar and fixed my eyes on today’s date, 19th. .....

After the call that night, I knew it wasn’t only the call that ended. I came home the next morning and found the whole place consumed in silence. She had left.

Her things were gone and she’s gone. I loved her and that long time I wasn’t with her may have severed those feelings.

Being a man alone, I’ve gone out with other girls and I may have looked for her in someone else’s but failed. I’ve met one I had gone out for the longest while I was here and I can’t even fathom why it’s still different, she’s different. Her love was different, hers and hers alone.

Several weeks later filled of thinking through and drowning in work alone, I got a project to work on and needed to be on plane heading to farther region in North.

Feeling nostalgic at the center of a busy airport waiting to be aboard on plane in a couple of hours, I suddenly remembered someone once asked me what’s the one place on earth was far more sad and painful than anywhere else. The place where all the saddest goodbyes from parting loved ones took place.

A scene came flashing back through me that pierced me even more was the memory of a girl who won’t stop crying no matter how many times I’d tell her I’d surely be back, but I never did when I found myself enjoying what I have here. I think that was the last time I ever really saw her with the love I used to have for her undivided. She wouldn’t let go of my hand and even told me if what could possibly change my mind to stay.

I remembered the memory of her who had dreamt with me of travelling to random places; the memory of that odd shirt she gave me which had the same print as hers but promised she’d never push me to wear it with her; the memory of staying up late together to finish the game we’re so hooked up before moving on to the next game to try; the memory of a pair of cross-shaped earrings I had trouble in choosing; the memory of the silly stories she had written for me whenever she feels like it; the memory of bets not once had she won; the memory of the girl who would easily cry over romantic and tragic movies we watched… the girl who did stand by me but would barely reach above my jaws when I held her.

I grabbed my phone and called her; I can’t reach her and guess she changed her number.

I boarded the plane, not going to work but to her. I went to her place but she wasn’t home yet. I’ve waited and waited until dark. It was past 11 and I lost hope of seeing her that night.

I stood, and in my mind I longed for a new beginning with her if she would just only give me the one more chance I need. In an instant before me she stood almost in awe and before she could possibly run or even talk, I placed the red roses I bought for her in her hands with a card that said, “I can’t miss this day again, our 19th.”

Thank-you-to-the-people-I-met-through-my-journey-of-Godly-waiting-and-fighting--CCS, MOGCHS, MSAO, YABS, MUSTgeeks, BS TCM 1k5–4k2 ReyLabial, PaulaBacolod, KathleneBannister, ReyMarkAbejo, MarkeeAclao), TLT and Aunt-Marivic for the help, CCSP and to all the taxpayers in CDO #IskolarNgBayan, SunstarNewspaper,College-Editors-Guild-ofthe-Philippines esp. to my political friend Rochamae Bihag, Oplan 10,000’s Task-Force-TulongKabataan and the volunteers, The Trailblazer Publication batches 2011–2015, and to our moderator Ma’am Sy, my relatives (esp. to Papa Raf,Kuya Vanvan,Ate Annaliz,Uncle Elson for-the-financial-support-when-I’m-monetarily-exhausted), to my friend from another island who unexpectedly became part of my journey, indeed a blessed 8/16 Grant Altomea #AuroraBorealis #BonVoyage fire up your faith, mama and papa (Consolacion and Ronnie Cabrido Sr.) whose unfailing love and endless support strengthen my eagerness to sail in the ocean of hopes, my siblings (Ronnie Jr., Florence Ronn& Rafaella Lim Cabrido happy graduation sis) you-areateBem’s-angels, to Mama Lily in heaven who haven’t managed to wait for her grandchildren to receive their diploma, we miss and love you, to the kids around the globe---you make up a beautiful garden of optimisms.

I won’t be able to meet these people if the Lord hasn’t allowed me to live, so, to the Father, friend, and hero who always lights my trail, thank you. Lord, you already know my silent wishes :) I will serve you genuinely through your people. I love you, Lord. ~ Happy 78th Commencement Exercise ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - Novienbem- #SilentWish

arigatou gozaimashite minna-san for taking some of your time to read this year's reflection. chem4H1 (jessah, aisle, riza, maariii, giniel, klarence, jemborn, allen): salamat sa mga bully times.. hihi... did what you want na.. happy?? HAHAHAHA! :p chem 5H1 (hadiks): mang.graduate namu.. haha!!! congratz.. *sniffs* T.T to me pamilya: salamat sa support. pati pud sa love, patience and understanding.. hihi.. eseeeh!! haha :) and lastly but definitely not the least, God: thank you for giving me the chance to write all of these. :) hontou ni arigatou gozaimas.. T.T T.T hataki_viruz Dlimasukodakopagpasalamatsalabawnamakagagahomsapaghatagkanakoughigayunar onmkaambagsaakotalentougmganahibaw-ansipusakaestudyanteugsapaghatagkanakougk usogugpaglaumsatanannkuproblemanaakonasinatian, salamatGinoo.. :) I want to give thanks to those people who supported me :) To my ever loving family.. Ma, Pa..AteAiks, angmgamanghud ..ewwhihimaramingsalamatpo, ang blessings ko’y kayo thank you thank you angbabaitninyu, To my classmates, it people! :) thank you :P To my thesismates ..“Carbo Load!”pushlangng push!

To my Trailblazer family, for over two and a half years nakunapagtambaysatrail ..sakabibo, samgapasakit? Thank you The Trailblazer! and last but not the least :) you know who you are! :) thank you ..seriously thank you! :) thank you kaau abs! :DDDhaha<3 :P Thank You Everyone satanannagbasasa issue sa Reflections :) ugsawala pa..paeta God bless Everyone :) #MorePower! xD #1,7,14,21 :) RenzuiixD

Greetings MUSTEANS esp. sa mga excited to read reflections this year. To arch. DK pls read THE STORY and to my dearest friend Ratel thank u, to arkitortyured people dapat theme song nato is ‘i will survive‘, charlang CeeJay when indolence and writer's block strike, there is no medicine more effective for me than my pills of inspiration. as tradition, i shall spill some hearts and cheese to the causes of my revival. a thousand times thank u to sherlock for personifying brainy as the new sexy, snow patrol for lying with me and forgetting the world, my ARKItortured blockmates for the night life we share before the submission of our plates, ARchitectS who i so look up to, tea for uplifting my mood, my dearest trail-lala for a lifetime supply of not giving up, and to all our readers and will be readers. i hope that your fervent support for the folio extends to the other works of the trailblazer publication. xoxo, orejet a quote from the author Francis P. Church says, “the most real things on earth are those that neither children nor men can see”. Indeed, it is exactly that bliss and gratitude which come from our materialistic desires we endeavor from day to day. So allow me to thank those who were with me to achieve the most real things on earth.

- to the family, flunked with imperfections, but was still there when i needed a home - to unexpected and real friends for seeing to it that struggles and undertakings were taken with a little bit of sarcasm - to the magnificient engineers in the making of our department, ece3a and eced3b, always remember nga walay masantos kung walay pag antos -and most of all, to the one true and almighty God

Ar-gie Just like one of the scientific laws- the Inertia, "An object at rest remains at rest, and an object in motion remains in motion unless acted upon an external force." I wanted to thank all those people who acted as my "External Force" - to the Tangengot family, to te shielou, Jocel & Nnayaj. For the support and encouragement and also the criticisms that put me on edge in defying their claims. (as reflected on my personality) HAHAHA. You've all done a great part. For my mother, iloveyou. and for Dr. Sy for the trust and my newly acquired Trailblazer family for the heartfelt welcome.

SHINE. NOT BURN! ya all! <3<3<3 Jan Marie Algar

Whenever God gives us an assignment, He always equips us w/what we need to accomplish it. Yes,we are da writers who are shaped to serve God.Thank U My Savior for letting me be part of dis amazing circle of writers & artist.

-To My trailblzr fam.:Thank u ate, kuya,manghud nd to my Soul Sister for da unconditional love. To Maam Sy: thank you Maam :) -To my Fam: Ma&Pa thankU 4 being my Strenght. Hannah Mariel&Darcy:You r da best sister&bro ever!

-To my Clasm8s: TLe3W1,2,3 esp. Ate Dawn, Jen, Memie, Angel, Juvy, Charey, Shalom, Geiza, Yanna,Dre,Waning, Ate Cham, Te Gel nd Ailyn -To My Green Nemesis:Thank you for being my wonderful friends Lalabs U Guys!#Avengers.

“I always thank God for You” -1 Corinthians 1:4

Yellen Dianara C. Bacolod 2014 was such a great year full of successes, some failures and surprises, mainly because of the people that made it extra special. Thank you to my parents whose undying support made me to what I am now. To my crazy barkada since highschool, the Royalties, salamat sa tanang kabuang mga gwapo! To my friends in college, the Idiots, the Poverty, the Monkiss, the White Determined and etc., thank you for the friendship guys, dili unta maundang. To you know who you are, thanks for the love, patience and understanding. A very big thank you to my Trail family for accepting me as one of their own and for the things and experiences I have learned from them. Most of all, Thank you Lord God for all the blessings that you’ve given me and for protecting me from harm.

In short thank you sa tanan.

harlydoba First of all ko mag thank you sa tanan staff sa The Trailblazer Publication for the opportunity. It’s an amazing experience to be a part of this family. Thank you pud sa mga migo ug miga sa BACHELOR OF SCIENCE IN APPLIED PHYSICAL SCIENCES labi na sa mga 1g1 (mga walay buiot :P) ug 2g1 (leader2x ang peg :P) na pirme nko masabay in fact sumo na kaau. Hahaha... Special mention ang mga kalalis kung mag dula ba mi or dli sa Netopia : Joko, Nor, ug Arnold ( tarong nmug skwela sunod HAHAHA). Pati pud sa mga kasabay mag-laraw2x nga sila Michael, Renzo, Bryan, Jessryl ug Jesse.

Apilon nlang pud nko kanang sabaan nga si Franz of BSIT para sa mga walay kahumanang pagpangusi ug pakiglalis sa ako. Thank you pud sa akong IDOL for keeping me feeling inspired <3 HAHAHAHA And to readers: remember that life has no second takes; we only live once. Seek to seize the opportunity we have for it may never come again.

Failures come along our way but that’s a given. What’s important is how we rise up after we fall. Thanks for reading :) JAnCabzZz

I want to thank my beloved family, highschool friends, 1cb3 gang, YFC family (sector A1), SE Knights and Ladies of the Altar (even if I'm no longer serving there lol), co-lectors at San Isidro Labrador Parish, VARMJEL Bitses (I lav yah to bits), my dwelling place THE TRAILBLAZER for giving me the chance to be part of the team and of course God for giving me all of them.

Thank you and may God be praised!

-Mathusyla Luzsyl Echano

It’s been a while since I have become an official member of The Trailblazer Publication. I must say that this opportunity is like no other. It’s a blessing and a gift to become one. :)

I wouldn’t be here without the aid and support of everyone around me.

My biggest thanks to my Trailblazer fam, to my friends, ROSEANS, PEARLEANS, NARRANIANS, To my MUSTEAN friends, 1x4 fam, 1x3 fam. To my Ministry fam, to my ever loving HUSHUSH TEAM ,to G5 ( Mylene, Joveth, Sheila, Shaira), F5 (Ivan, Kim, Kent, Wawa, Renz), to my SHANCELLELYNEKATHMHEL, to my MAMA I love you, to my sister Maffy, see you on your graduation day, to Rafael Datario, uncle please don’t get tired of sending me to school. To my PAPA, where art thou? To JPsawalan, welcome back. And to GOD the almighty father, the Holy Spirit and Holy Son, THANK YOU SO MUCH for everything LORD. “If GOD is all you have, YOU have everything you need.”

-John 14:8 @Daughter of a King Hello, Universe! Gikan sa kinasuokan niining akong dughan, dawata ang akong mga pagpasalamat. Wiw. To Team Lubi, Twitarts, Savemores, Chem’mates, YA-MUST, My Ates, Kuyas and manghods, family, relatives, friends, and to all the people who took time to read every issue of The Trailblazer’s Mag and folio, SALAMATS ng marami. Hinaot nkatabang ang tanan sa pagtambag sa inyung future. HAHAHA. To my Trailblazer Ates, Kuyas, manghods, Soul Sister and Maam Sy, thank you so much sa pag'angkon sa ako. HAHAHA. You all have taught me a lot of things I would have not learned kung wa ko dani. Char. Itayo ang bandila ng #HushHushTeam!

Of course to God above, I give back all the glory, honor, praises and thanksgiving for without Him, I am nothing.

Everyone, your support has made me a better person, and I will forever be grateful. <3 Basa pa more! Sulat pa more!

With Olaf, from the Kingdom of Isolation, Anna Maria Kristina Bonana

Anna Kristine B. Obina

I would like to send gratitude to my friends in school: The Gang- Tanya Garcia, Kcy Aliñabon, Diane Abao, Juliebeth Valmoria, Celjunes Ihong, Jessel Meñoza, Jessa Fabela, Michelle Lapiz, BeJean Cruz, Shaira Palomar, Ann Siangco, Niña Lucot, Argine Toylo, Ana Divica Dimarucot, Dheniel Basadre and to all of my friends in IK2 AND 1K4 you know who you are.

I want to express gratefulness also to my Trailblazer companions, who are genuinely serving the student since then. Bisan ang reflection nailiwit na og pagcirculate and students are really excited pa naman HAHA, this where I ventured what’s the inside passion of my writing ability.

Above all, God has been my onlooker of everything that is happening in my life timeline. His purpose this year for me is to undertake those desires in my life, there’s no impossible for Him, it’s all possible. (Jeremiah 29:11) Cris Roger B. Olape - CrisChoooo –

Gratitude to my parents: To Lolong og Inday, who never in a single moment failed to believe in me.

Gratitude to them: To Mae, Jaylord, Irish, Harvey, Ailene, Hazel, Key, and Inah, thanks guys for baking my day topped with “gara-gara” sprinkled with “kabuang” and frosted with “wisdoms of friendship”.

Gratitude to her: My Ering (cat <3), continually falling for you without any landing.

Gratitude to him: Thank you Papa Jesus for the blessings this year especially to health, health and health.

Gratitude to the publication: To the Trailblazer, thank you guys for making me feel my worth. #newbie #grateful #charmosginamos Jay Juniel Murcilla