No. 4 (September 22, 2016) by University News

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Vol. XCVI No. 4

A student voice of Saint Louis University since 1921

Thursday, September 22, 2016

“Ugly, ugly, ugly” “nightmare inducing “erotic” “CREATURE MascotLAGOON” revamp FROM THE BLACK sparks mocking “nope” “terrifying and and bewilderment creepy” “so inappropriate” “yikes” “demonic” “awful” “satan incarnate” “deformed “goblin” “graphic design abomination” “shut it down” “going to frighten children” “atrocity” “kill it with fire” The new Billiken mascot was unveiled at last to anxiously awaiting fans in between the men’s and women’s soccer game on Sept. 20, and in an online video posted by SLU. Its redesign matches SLU’s new logo, which was redone last November. But while most of the campus may have adjusted to the two-dimensional logo, the physical mascot received some especially harsh feedback. SLU students did not hold back their comments, especially on social media. Facebook, Twitter and other sites blew up within minutes of the reveal. An online petition requesting that SLU bring back the “old” Billiken received nearly 1,500 signatures. It has been a long time since the original mascot appeared over a century ago. The Billiken began as a Japanese good luck charm and was then brought to life reflecting similarities to SLU’s football coach, John Bender. Many models have been created over the years, but the newest one is at the forefront of Billiken fans’ minds. “I was pretty confused (about the new mascot). How’d this scary mascot with a disproportionate head size and strange coloring get past a focus group?” sophomore By LAUREN TONDL Sports Editor

See “Mascot” on Page 7

MASCOT BACKLASH: The above are excerpts from actual Facebook comments reacting to the change

Spring Hall changes check-in process By WILLIAM KERNELL Associate News Editor

Spring Hall, the newest residence hall on campus at Saint Louis University as of Fall 2016, has brought with it a far more stringent check-in process than all other campus residence halls. “Spring,” as it is known by students, also diﬀers itself from other residence halls in that it includes classrooms. This layer of variation draws in more foot traﬃc from non-resi-

dents, requiring more security. Veteran desk worker and senior Katherine Vastis described the check-in process at Spring, saying “Anyone living in Spring Hall simply has to scan their ID at the door outside and at the desk, like all other residence halls. Between the hours of 7 a.m. and 6 p.m., I believe all oncampus residents have access to the common areas or “non-residential areas” like classrooms, practice rooms,

bathrooms. However, to enter residential areas during this time, anyone not living in Spring needs to be checked in. Anyone with a SLU ID can be checked in using their SLU ID and banner. If you don’t live on campus or aren’t a SLU student, then you need to be checked in using a photo ID such as a driver’s license, state ID, passport, etc.” See “Spring Hall” on Page 2

Megan Hammond / The University News

SPRING HALL: Sophomore Brooke Lunn checks two students into Spring Hall.

Former professor wins suit against SLU By Jayde Rose Contributor

In the past week, Cornelia Horn, a former assistant professor in SLU’s theology department, won a $367,000 sex discrimination suit against the University. Horn, who taught at SLU from 2004 to 2012, claimed that when applying for tenure she received biased treatment for being female, and that the decision against her tenure was preceded by belittling and bullying treatment from her male colleagues. Last Thursday, after an eight-day trial, St. Louis Circuit Court jurors sided in favor of Horn. Her claim against the University was two-pronged. First, she claimed that she was the victim of sexual discrimination when applying for tenure and throughout her time at the University, and second, that she had been retaliated against after filing a claim of sexual discrimination within her department. The jury decided in favor of Horn with both complaints; 9 to 3 on the count of sexual discrimination and 11 to 1 on the count of retaliation.

According to Horn, this complaint was filed in 2010 and contained information that she had been “bullied and intimidated by male faculty” and was among a stark minority of women in the department. The report was received by the department chair, Father J.A. Wayne Hellmann and a formal in-

...in over 40 years, just one woman was promoted to tenure within the department. vestigation followed. Months later, when reviewing her application of tenue, Father Hellmann would cite this instance as evidence of Horn’s lack of collegiality. After the theology department approved Horn’s bid for tenure, the reverend wrote his own letter recommending against providing tenure. It was in this letter that Horn’s collegiality was questioned because of her decision to file a report on sexual discrimination within her department.

As part of her suit, Horn claimed that it was the contents of this letter which led the university committee to ultimately deny her tenure. Horn filed an appeal to the decision, but SLU’s thenpresident Fr. Lawrence Biondi upheld the decision. During the trial, Horn’s lawyers heavily focused on the diﬀerent treatment for male and female professors within the department. They asserted that in over 40 years, just one woman was promoted to tenure within the department. Most male tenure track professors were promoted, while many female professors had their contracts terminated before they were able to apply or had their applications denied. SLU stated that it was disappointed in the decision and is exploring its options. In a released statement, it was expressed that tenure is a “significant decision” involving guaranteeing a faculty member “a lifelong appointment.” SLU has also expressed that its process for evaluating tenure is “robust” and does not discriminate against any characteristics protected by law.

INSIDE SCOOP: Cross country dominates at Notre Dame

A review of the Emmy Awards: 2016

Page 7

Page 5

ARTS

Why ‘Sparky’ deserves his own SLU holiday

SPORTS

Page 10

OPINION

2 September 22, 2016

NEWS

Spring Hall: Security measures tighter than other residence halls

Megan Hammond / The University News

SPRING HALL: Distinguished members of the Saint Louis University community, including President Fred Pestello, PhD, cut the ribbon on the new residence hall on campus. Ms. Vastis gave no comment on this check-in process compared to that of other residence halls that she so diligently worked at in the past. The process of checking into the Griesedieck Complex does have several similarities to the Spring process according to Freshman desk worker, Emily Laird. Ms. Laird said “At the Gries front desk, the desk workers always have to check in people who don’t attend SLU or SLU students

who live oﬀ campus. To check in someone who doesn’t go to SLU, the desk worker needs an ID from that person to record their name, phone number and address. They must be checked in with a resident of Gries, who also must give their name and the room number they are going to with the guest. Then the desk worker takes a picture of the guest, which remains in the system for use during future visits. In the case of a minor with no ID, their name would be recorded with the informa-

tion of the adult they are through Sunday from 7 p.m.with and the minor would be 7 a.m.,” which means nonincluded in resident stuthe photo.” dents can go The difwithout beThe check-in ference being checked tween the process at Spring in for the two check-in majority of is a turnoff to processes is every day. visiting the that “SLU In addistudents who tion to the residence hall. live on camdifferencpus have to Andrea Cannito, sophomore es, “When be checked checking into a resiin SLU studence hall dents, the that is not their own Mondesk worker would just day through Thursday from need their name along with 9 p.m.-7 a.m. and Friday the host’s name and room

“

Continued from page 1

Even non-residents of Spring have raised their concerns with the process. With the procedure reaching past those that live in Spring, there have been claims that it is contributing to a strain on friendships. “The check-in process at Spring is a turnoﬀ to visiting the residence hall. I’ve only been there once to visit a friend and haven’t been back. It’s a lot of work and time for both the resident and I to be checked in every single time that I want to visit,” said sophomore Village resident, Andrea Cannito.

number,” added Ms. Laird. With the heightened security, certain residents have had qualms with the overall process. Sophomore resident of Spring Anna Hilton had this to say about the check-in process: “I find it to be repetitive having to check in my friends who don’t live in Spring, every single time they come to visit. One check in is necessary enough, and then when they come back their ID should be on file. After being checked in once, I believe swiping their ID should be suﬃcient enough.”

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NEWS

September 22, 2016

Let Us Introduce You: Kelly Herbolich By MARIAH MOOTZ Contributor

Kelly Herbolich is the program director of Academic Support for Student Development at Saint Louis University. This week, we sat down and talked to her about her life and job at SLU. Where did you grow up? Lexington, Kentucky. GO UK!!!

SLU’s tutoring and Supplemental Instruction programs are what originally brought me. As time has passed, I have been able to work with First Year Experience programs such as U101 and First-Year Dialogue. Most recently I have been involved with the First-Year summer reading program. We selected “Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption” by Bryan Stevenson for the Class of 2020.

What is your favorite thing about SLU? The students – they are so friendly and dedicated to SLU values and ideals.

What do you find most rewarding about your job that makes it all worthwhile? I have thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to work with faculty members. For example, I have been working with Dr. Stuart Slavin and the School of Medicine regarding the mental health of freshman students and utilizing First-Year Experience programs such as U101 to integrate mindfulness skills.

What projects do you oversee? Why are they important?

What do you wish SLU students knew? I wish that students realized

Where did you go to college? What degrees do you have? I have a B.A. in political science from Transylvania University and an M.Ed. in Higher Education and Student Aﬀairs from the University of South Carolina.

that in five years, the things that feel really stressful now, like a bad test grade, end up being okay and it all works out in the end! What are your hobbies? Painting and watching “Dateline.” What do you like most about your office? I love my Russian stacking dolls in my office. Are there any political or social issues that you feel passionately about? Reading “Just Mercy” felt like a great introduction into our criminal justice system, specifically the prosecution of young, non-violent offenders and people with mental disabilities. Favorite ice cream flavor? Graeter’s Black Raspberry Chip Ice Cream. What are the thoughts on the new Billiken? I love the printed version; I will need some time to adjust to the new mascot.

Joe Eckert / The University News

LUIY: Kelly Herbolich is the program director of Academic Support for SLU.

SLU partners with TurboVote to boost voter turnout For the 2012 general election, the National Study of Learning, Voting, and Engagement from Tufts University reported a 50% voting rate at SLU. The same study found that in the midterm election of 2014, SLU’s voting rate dropped to a disappointing 18%. Throughout the country, it is no secret that encouraging voter participation has been increasingly difficult, with a national rate of 53.6% of voting-age citizens turning out to vote in 2012, according to the Pew Research Center. The numbers for off-year elections are much lower– 2014 brought only 33.6% voter turnout for the state of Missouri in the congressional race according to FairVote.org and for Missouri’s primary this August, turnout was even lower with a mere 24.8%, as reported by Missouri Secretary of State, Jason Kander. These numbers prove the futility of the efforts around the country to increase the national population’s democratic involvement. That’s why this summer SLU partnered with TurboVote, a nonprofit, nonpartisan effort created by Democracy Works with a vision of helping Americans reach 80% voter turnout, which has not occurred since the 1880s. TurboVote has big-name sponsors helping promote their goal of 80%, including Starbucks, Spotify, Target, Airbnb, Univision and several others. With its partnership, SLU hopes to give TurboVote a bountiful presence on campus to provide students with the tools and motivation they need to become more engaged in democracy. TurboVote’s comprehensive approach to prepare and remind students to vote is different than that of similar civic engagement organizations. Online at slu. turbovote.org, their system can register students from all 50 states—not only Missouri—order absentee ballots and send reminders about polling locations and upcoming elections. If a student is already registered to vote, signing up is still beneficial, and enables them to receive email or text reminders about elections at all government levels. Since a large percentage of SLU’s student body is from out of state and will need to order absentee ballots, Leah Sweetman, assistant direc-

tor of Service-Learning in will maintain its position of SLU’s Center for Service and democratic guidance for stuCommunity Engagement exdents all year, every year. plained, Next Tuesday, Sept. 27, is “TurboVote will work with National Voter Registration local elections commissions Day. TurboVote volunteers so that students can receive will have tables at the Busch ballots in the way that state Student Center, the Center or jurisdiction allows...they for Global Citizenship, and in will gather the information the Allied Health Building’s needed for voting and even Fresh Gatherings Cafe from mail it all to students. So if it’s 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Additionrequesting an absentee balally, they will appear at the lot or doing Social Justice voter regisNight event in tration and the Busch StuTurboVote is so it’s not availdent Center at user-friendly, and able online 6 p.m. the polling place in in a state, Besides Tu r b oVo t e National Voter the BSC on Nov. 8 will provide Registration gives everyone even the paper Day, SLU’s less of an excuse to copies in the Depar tment not vote! mail. It’s a of Political very centralScience will Robbie Dealey, senior ized system.” be putting She also on multiple stressed watch parties that the TurboVote team is for the Presidential debates constantly looking for more beginning with the first on student volunteers and, forSept. 26 in the Center for tunately, their presence in Global Citizenship, where the SLU community will not TurboVote will also be presdisappear after the votes ent. have been tallied in NovemThe deadline in Missouri ber. Sweetman went on to to register to be able to vote confirm that TurboVote will this November’s election is be involved on campus more on Oct. 12, and other states often than just every four have similar deadlines. Stuyears and she hopes that it dents who register using

“

By MEREDITH HARGIS Online Editor

their on-campus address will be able to vote in the Busch Student Center on Election Day. Robbie Dealey, a senior at SLU who began volunteering for TurboVote this semester said, “Seeing the investment SLU is making is so invigorating. TurboVote is so user-friendly, and the polling place in the BSC on November 8 gives everyone even less of an excuse to not vote!” As of Sept. 22, there will be 47 days until November 8. For some Americans this brings a jolt of excitement looking towards the future, and for others, a feeling of uncertainty and disillusionment. Regardless of emotions, however, all of the events local and national leading up to Election Day will be motivating voters to make their voices heard. A recent Gallup poll reporting for Sept. 14 through 20 shows 34% favorability of Trump and 39% favorability of Clinton among adults nationally. The future may be uncertain, but if there were ever two candidates to catalyze voter participation, it would be Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.

TURBOVOTE: Students can register to vote at the watch parties hosted by the Department of Political Science and there will be a polling place in the BSC on Nov. 8.

Democracy is NOT A Spectator Sport

VOTE SLU

THE SLU SCOOP All Information Provided by Department of Public Safety and Emergency Preparedness

Thursday, September 15 3:34 a.m. PROPERTY DAMAGE Female employee reported that on 9/15/16 between 8:30am and 3:30pm her vehicle was damaged (large scratch) on the driver’s side rear quarter panel in some unknown manner. Employee declined to contact the police.

Thursday, September 15 2:30 p.m. REINERT HALL Reinert Hall desk worker pushed the panic button in reference to a non-SLU affiliated individual that she had accidently buzzed in. The individual did not threaten her, but asked the desk worker directions to the hospital, and then promptly left. The desk worker stated that she believed he was intoxicated and that she was shaken up over the encounter.

Thursday, September 15 7:04 p.m. INFORMATIONAL Female student reported that between 9/14/16 at 8:00pm and 9/15/16 at about 6:15 p.m. some unknown person(s) entered her locked vehicle and went into the glove box area of her vehicle. Student stated nothing was missing and that she was positive she secured her vehicle. An investigation by DPS officer could not locate any signs of forced entry to the vehicle.

Friday, September 16 4:45 p.m. STEALING/U500 Church employee reported that he discovered a metal toilet paper holder to have been forced open and several rolls of paper to be missing, from a stall in the men’s restroom located in the basement area of the church. Employee stated the church had been opened since 7:00 a.m. and the restrooms in the basement are accessible to the public.

Missouri Voter Registration Deadline October 12 Presidential Election November 8th

Be a Responsible Billiken STOP. CALL. REPORT. 314-977-3000 witness.slu.edu dps.slu.edu

SLU.TURBOVOTE.ORG Courtesy of Leah Sweetman

4 September 22, 2016

GAMES

Games Across 1 4 8 12 14 15 16 18 19 20 22 23 24 27 29 33 34 35 36 38 41 42 43 44 47 48 49 51 53 56 59 60 64 65 66

Quiz Discharge Verb preceder Roman god of war Like the White Rabbit Frost lines Ivy League university S-shaped moldings Newton or Stern Garment workers Clock standard (Abbr.) Texas cook-off dish “Monty Python” airer “Cogito ___ sum” Housefly larva Baseball stat Horse of a certain color New money Reindeer country Bug Turkish cash Hospital supplies ___ Anne de Beaupré Mystery Orchard item Word on a Ouija board Israeli port Pen point Floral envelope Tabloid twosomes Bring to bear Painters’ equipment College bigwigs Disney output, briefly Gin flavor

41 45

49 54

To solve the Sudoku puzzle, each row, column and box must contain the numbers 1 to 9.

23 27

8 15

55 60

Down 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Concert prop Delhi dress Malayan dagger Kind of microscope Welcome ___ Four-time Japanese prime minister Common fraction Peignoir Sundae topper, perhaps

10 11 13 15 17 21 23 24

25 26 28 30 31 32 37

7 2 2 4 3 9

Exploitative type Costner role Glitch “Behold!” Photo starter Deadeye’s forte Bamboozle Scarlett O’Hara, e.g. Genius Bay of Naples isle Roam (about) Bold Emulate Cicero Drinks too much, old style Hats and chickens

38 39 40 42 45 46 50 52 53 54 55 57 58 61 62 63

7 8 2 9

4 6

67 Concludes 68 Peccadilloes 69 Flock member

Minute Abadan natives Blue moon, e.g. Bathroom installation Milkshake types Be bedridden Diets Panhandles Surrender Yoked beasts Interpret Stubborn sort Winter blanket Polynesian paste King Arthur’s lance Bishop's jurisdiction

9 1

Forts

Last Week’s Solutions

8 3 9 7 5 4 2 1 6

6 2 4 3 8 1 9 5 7

7 5 1 6 2 9 3 4 8

1 6 8 2 7 3 5 9 4

4 7 3 5 9 6 1 8 2

2 9 5 4 1 8 6 7 3

3 1 6 8 4 5 7 2 9

5 8 2 9 3 7 4 6 1

9 4 7 1 6 2 8 3 5

APACHE

LARAMIE

POLK

BENNING

LAUDERDALE

SHERIDAN

BLISS

LEAVENWORTH

SMITH

BRAGG

LEE

SUMNER

BRIDGER

LEWIS

SUMTER

COLLINS

MACARTHUR

VANCOUVER

CUMBERLAND

MCHENRY

WAYNE

DIX

MISERY

WORTH

HOOD

MYERS

YUKON

KNOX

ORD

YUMA

Arts Entertainment

September 22, 2016 arts@unewsonline.com Tess Brock, Arts Editor Natalie Riopelle, Assoc. Arts Editor

2016 Emmys give many memorable moments By MADDIE SIEBUM Staff Writer

The primetime Emmy Awards were held on the evening of Sept. 18, and the three-hour-long show did not disappoint. The biggest stars from the top television shows delivered resonating speeches, hilarious moments, and the awards, for the most part, went to the actors and shows that deserved them. The host for the night was Jimmy Kimmel, which marks his second gig hosting after his first stint in 2012. I find that I usually have a lot of complaints about hosts of awards shows, but Kimmel did an outstanding job. He kept the long show moving and the majority of his jokes landed. Perhaps the best thing Kimmel contributed to the night was his excellent improvisation. In his opening monologue, Kimmel made fun of Maggie Smith, who won Emmys in 2003, 2011 and 2012, but did not show up to receive them. Smith was once again nominated this year for her role on “Downton Abbey,” and Kimmel stated that if she won, the award would just go to the next person in line. Lo and behold, Smith won again and was not present. Upon hearing the announcement, Kimmel spontaneously ran on stage and grabbed the award, saying that Smith could pick up her Emmy at the lost and found. It’s hard to incorporate improv and a recurring bit into a live show, but Kimmel managed to make it look eﬀortless. There were many touching moments scattered throughout the show, which

Valiere Macon / AFP / Getty Images

TELEVISION: No stranger to the Emmys, creator Ryan Murphy picked up the award for Outstanding Limited Series for the biographical thriller “The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Ctime Story.” reminded viewers that stars really are just like us. Three winners mentioned relatives who passed away in their speeches, most notably Julia Louis-Dreyfus, whose father passed away just two days before. Louis-Dreyfus won the Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series for her show “Veep,” and although she is a veteran of television and award shows, she was visibly shaking for the entirety of her speech. She tearfully dedicated the award to her father, ending her speech on a sad, yet stirring note. Poignant acceptance

speeches were matched with powerful calls for social change. Jeﬀrey Tambor, who was the Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series, actually hushed the orchestra starting to play him oﬀ so he could make a plea to Hollywood to take a chance on more transgender actors. Tambor plays a transgender character in the show “Transparent” and said that, “I would not be unhappy were I the last cisgender male to play a female transgender on television.” Aziz Ansari and Alan Yang won “Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series” for “Mas-

ter of None.” Yang called for more Asian parents to buy their kids cameras, rather than violins in order to get more Asian representation in Hollywood. Perhaps the most quotable line from the night however, was from Jill Soloway, who won an Emmy for directing an episode of “Transparent,” who yelled “Topple the Patriarchy!” at the end of her speech. Despite what Yang said about representation in Hollywood, the Emmys provided an amazing example of diversity in Hollywood. Equal representation of African Americans and other

minorities in Hollywood has been a major issue lately. The hashtag #OscarsSoWhite started earlier this year after no black actors were nominated for any of the four major acting awards, despite stellar performances throughout the year. The Emmys, however, did not have this problem. Not only were people from diﬀerent races nominated, many ended up being winners. Speaking of winners, “Game of Thrones” made history by scoring three more Emmys, bringing its total to 38– the most for any fictional TV show. After a

spectacular seventh season, the HBO show took home arguably the biggest award of the night, Outstanding Drama Series, making it two years in a row that that “Game of Thrones” has dominated in that category. The other big winner of the night was FX’s true crime series “The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story.” The show caught critics’ attention when it debuted in February and kept audiences riveted episode to episode, even though most viewers are already familiar with the O.J. Simpson trial. The show garnered five awards—three for acting, one for writing and Outstanding Limited Series. Sarah Paulson won Outstanding Lead Actress in a Mini-Series or Movie for her portrayal of prosecutor Marcia Clark. She surprised everyone by bringing the actual Marcia Clark as her guest to the show. She later got Clark’s name engraved on the Emmy award rather than her own, a true sign of respect and thankfulness for an amazing role. While writing this article, I racked my brain for something to complain about, but the Emmys this year were perfect to me. Even the usually boring parts were entertaining, like when Saturday Night Live star and Twitter celeb Leslie Jones joined the accountants on stage. That’s usually a moment where I make a snack break, but it turned into a fun little bit. The 2016 Emmys provided many memorable moments, and I can only hope that the Golden Globes and Oscars follow suit in celebrating diversity and having a little fun.

Jones: Back and better Like sarcasm? Then

have we got the YouTubers for you By NATALIE RIOPELLE Associate Arts Editor

Courtesy of Giles Keyte / Universal Pictures

BABY: Bridget Jones (Renee Zellweger) comes back to the big screen with two dashing men in tow (Colin Firth and Patrick Dempsey) and, now, a little one on the way. By TESS BROCK Arts Editor

Romantic comedies, or “rom-coms” as we usually refer to them, often get a bad rep. Why? Well, mainly because they consist of cheesy, predictable scripts with beautiful, model-esque women running oﬀ into the sunset with beautiful modelesque men. We laugh and roll our eyes at these films because they are just plain unrealistic. When “Bridget Jones’s Diary” came out in 2001, this film was a success because it wasn’t your run-of-the-mill romcom. Instead, it gave us the absolutely wonderfully weird Bridget Jones, played by the talented Renee Zellweger. Jones is a clumsy,

witty, single, trying-to-loseweight 32-year-old trying to find love and success in a big city. Now, doesn’t that sound more realistic? “Bridget Jones Diary” set the standard for what a romantic comedy should be– funny, relatable and enjoyable to watch. Needless to say, pretty much everybody was gutted when the sequel “Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason” turned out to be a messy, stupid failure of a follow-up film. However, the latest installment, “Bridget Jones’s Baby” almost makes up for the horrible sequel and returns back to the hilarity and quirkiness that made the first film so adored. As “Bridget Jones’s Baby” starts, we rediscover the cheeky, unfortunate Jones,

who, in her early forties, is still single and childless despite her friends’, family’s (and society’s) judgment. After a non-eventful 43rd birthday filled with canceled plans from her married friends, Jones decides to rewrite her “spinster” status because she has a kickass job as a top television producer. Her hilarious and sassy younger news anchor friend, Miranda (Sarah Solemani), takes Bridget to a music festival, where they can both properly celebrate their single status. After not-so-gracefully falling into a pit of mud, Jones meets the charming Jack (Patrick Dempsey) and later reconSee “Bridget” on Page 6

You’ve probably heard of the internet. If you haven’t— Google it. Once you’ve gotten your life together, check out YouTube—go ahead and Google that one, too. You’ll soon find yourself staring at a collage of videos, each tempting you to click with caps-lock titles and low-cut shirts. Where do you turn to now? Which poorly-rendered song cover should you click on? Which of the video game commentaries with the hyperbolic gamers pandering in the corner will fill your social needs? Which of the makeup tutorials is best to distract you from the inevitable emptiness of the existential void? Though these are all worthy questions, the answers will keep you on the surface of the infinite absurdity that is the Tube of You. To truly experience its wonders, you’ve got to know where to look—I’ve decided to be your guide. Just as a disclaimer: my sense of humor revolves (at least as far as YouTube is concerned) almost entirely around sarcasm and satire. For this reason, almost every channel I watch with regularity has somebody “ranting” about something. It’s

very therapeutic, in a way. This would include channels like “h3h3Productions” whose videos (that I have been binge watching instead of doing homework) hold a particular appeal to me. Though h3h3 is run by a husband and wife team, hubby Ethan is usually the main attraction. Their videos are some of the most intelligently absurd things I’ve ever seen as Ethan responds

To truly experience [YouTube’s] wonders, you’ve got to know where to look—I’ve decided to be your guide. to videos, people and issues with the most endearing sardonicism EVER (classic click bait). Seriously, h3h3 goes after the big guns—famous YouTubers, companies and even YouTube itself—but always with a purpose. He specifically goes after those with influence, people who can take it, which makes me like him even more—he doesn’t take the easy route and go after the little guy. But who really cares about morals and what not? Bottom line

is, he’s ridiculously funny. Another channel I’m rather obsessed with is “I Hate Everything.” Just like its name, this channel spews vile slander at everyone without mercy. Naw, I’m kidding. The channel features an articulate English guy talking in hyperbolic-fashion about the devilry associated with everything from Facebook to dolphins. He also has a fantastic series called “The Search for the Worst” where he reviews genuinely terrible movies in a quest to determine which crap merits the title of the crappiest crap. Maybe it’s his super British-y voice or the hell these movies are put through by this super British-y voice, but I am firmly a fan. The last channel that I shall lead you to is not as widely known as the other two: “ADoseofBuckley.” Adam Buckley’s tagline is “Angry Humour from an Angry Man” (he’s Canadian, hence the extraneous “u”). Buckley puts out videos, like the previous two channels, about once a week. He speaks on controversial topics in a dry, bald-faced way with a tone of absolute irreverence. You might not always agree with what he says, but See “YouTubers” on Page 6

6 September 22, 2016 What’s up in STL this week?

ARTS

Flume’s sounds and stage satisfies fans By TOM BERGAN Senior Staff Writer

Beck Peabody Opera House Sept. 23, 8:00 p.m. With an impressive resume of 12 colorful and diverse albums, Beck will take to STL to debut his latest creation.

“GOAT” In theaters Discussing the brutality traditionally associated with pledging a fraternity, “GOAT” is an intensely gripping movie.

Art in the Park Francis Park Sept. 25, 10:00 a.m. Enjoy art, music and food by the banks of the beautiful lily pond at the center of Francis Park.

A Gentleman’s Guide to Love & Murder Fox Theatre Through Sept. 25 Don’t miss your last chance to see this Tony Award-winning comedy.

In my many nights spent at The Pageant, one of St. Louis’ greatest gems, I have never experienced a concert and crowd quite like Flume’s. The youth of St. Louis County seemed to get dropped off by their parents in hordes, and for the first time in my life, I felt like I was older than the majority of an audience at a concert. For reference, I’m 19. Despite the majority of the crowd being in high school, the energy in the building was undeniable. The sold-out show packed the venue from wall to wall, with some sections near the stage so crowded that there wasn’t room to move. And although Flume was who the crowd was clearly there to see, there were two largely unknown openers who had to win over the crowd on Friday evening. First up on the bill was Charles Murdoch. Hailing from Australia, his music was great as an opener, but unfortunately did not go very far. It would build with very little movement and no climax. It was a hybrid that leaned towards ambient and slow-building electronic but then every so often would sound like a half- hearted attempt to get the crowd to rage. Forty-five minutes is a long time for the first opener to receive, and unfortunately Charles did not use it to his advantage. Instead, it was good background music to talk over. The second artist, Mr. Carmack, was a different story. Coming out only minutes after Murdoch left the stage, he immediately set a different tone, and for the

better. With drops that could create a seismic reaction, and the perfect amount of original songs and remixes intertwined throughout his set, the crowd was treated to an hour of unique and amazing EDM music. Carmack obviously has love for Kanye West, starting his set with “Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 2,” and remixing four other Kanye songs throughout the hour. These energized the crowd and were perfect segues into his original music, which less of the crowd would have been familiar with. At the end of the hour, Carmack quietly left, and the Los Angeles producer set the bar high for Flume. That bar was knocked down and surpassed by great lengths approximately two minutes into Flume’s set. A curtain fell during opening song “Helix,” and from there the show was a lesson in sound—and often the lack of it. After all, Flume’s sound has been quite revolutionary in the fact that it capitalizes on the absence of sound just as much as the actual sounds created. Throughout his hour-and-a-half set, Flume, also known as 24-year-old Harley Streten, pulled heavily from his 2016 album “Skin” with sprinklings of old songs that got him mainstream attention. Almost every song seemed to get a louder reaction than the last, with his song “Sleepless” getting the first “everyone go bonkers” reaction of the night. It only heightened from there, when we got to experience his remix of “Tennis Court” by Lorde—which launched him into stardom—halfway through the set. From there on out, the show became a

Tom Bergan / The University News

ELECRIFYING: The crowd could not contain their energy or excitement at Flume’s sold-out show at The Pageant when his experience-oriented music took hold. hit fest, showcasing “Never Be Like You,” “Say It” and “Drop the Game,” while the crowd sang along at the top of their lungs with every word. It is hard to believe that Harley only has two albums under his belt with the range of songs he played. And while Flume’s music is really good, it was his stage setup that took the show to the next level. With a cubic table holding his equipment, and cubes hanging from the ceiling all around the stage, it felt as if all of Picasso’s deepest dreams came true. The cubes projected various

Bridget Jones returns Continued from page 5 nects with him for a night of fun and spontaneity. After returning home from the festival, Jones attends the christening of one of her old friend’s children where she is forced to spend time with her ex, the serious yet regal Mark Darcy (Colin Firth). The two take a stroll down memory lane, remembering the past years of their on-and-oﬀ-again relationship. Ignoring their troubles for a night of passion, the pair reconnect for what Jones believes is one final time. Well, after reading the name of the movie, it’s no secret what happens next. Bridget Jones is pregnant. Yes, the 43-year-old Bridget is expecting despite all odds, but that isn’t the biggest thing on her mind. After having back-to-back flings with two men, Jones has no

clue which man is the father, and this is where the true fun starts. Now most normal people in this odd dilemma would just explain the situation to both men in order to figure out the father, right? But, that wouldn’t be Bridget. She gets Jack to come onto her television show and with the help of her friends, hilariously attempts to get DNA samples and personal information (on air) about him. The antics don’t just end there. Bridget, avoiding the painful truth that only one of these men is the real father, bounces between the two, allowing them both to believe they are the father. Although it is cringeworthy that both of these men think they are the doting dad-to-be, the movie never strays into overly-dramatic soap opera territory. It still remains light and funny, even with this unusual plot.

colors and lights all while a giant LED screen took concertgoers on a trippy experience of plants growing, abstract visuals and warm hues of color that all seemed to vibe with the music perfectly. It all combined to make a multisensory experience that was nothing short of phenomenal. Whoever does the lighting and stage design for Flume’s shows deserves a giant high five. It felt as if something was lost in the experience of the show, though, because there was no room for people to really dance. The limited

space led to many fist bumps from the crowd, but Flume isn’t exactly a “fist-bumping” artist. His music needs to be experienced in a more spread-out setting, either an arena like Chaifetz or in a giant field at a festival. The good news is that I have no doubt in my mind that Flume will graduate to much larger venues by the time he returns to St. Louis and there will be ample room for fans to dance. The only lingering question will be if his fans have graduated high school by that time. We can only wait and see.

YouTubers

At times, the story seems a little too outrageous and unbelievable, making you think: Would this type of narrative actually happen? I mean, would a gynecologist really do two sonogram readings to spare the hearts of two potential dads? Well, probably not, but it’s still fun to see this type of story displayed on the big screen, and in 2016 an unconventional family is the new norm. Overall, “Bridget Jones’s Baby” is a huge step up from its predecessor in the series. It returns to the characters we fell in love with in the first film, the silly, irresponsible Bridget and the austere yet warm-hearted Mark Darcy, while also introducing notable new characters like the hilarious Miranda and captivating Jack. “Bridget Jones’s Baby” recaptures why we love to follow Jones’s life— it’s messy and crazy, but in the best way possible. h3h3Productions

COMEDY: Ethan Klein (above), star of h3h3Productions, gives his hilarious take on the new vaping trend. where everyone keeps putting the wrong year on their he does his research on any homework. His other stuﬀ is subject he makes a video on good, too—acerbic as all getand, though he’d probably out and just my cup of tea. argue with me for the sake of Now, as my roommates his internet constantly persona, chide me, all it’s clear in [Buckley] is probably I ever listen many cases to is loud, best known for his that he’s a “Worst Songs of the sometimes guy with a n g r y Year” series...[but] his s o u n d i n g morals. He’s prob- other stuff is good, too— men. This is ably best as I’ve acerbic as all get-out true, known for definitely and just my cup of tea. just demonhis “Worst Songs of the strated, but Year” series my question that comes then is this: out at the end of every year— when they’re this pointedly you’re bound to have run satirical and this funny, does across them at some point it really matter? during the awkward period Continued from page 5

Authentic German Oktoberfest Anheuser-Busch Biergarten Through Oct. 3 Celebrate German heritage with excellent beer.

Courtesy of Giles Keyte / Universal Pictures

BABY BUMP: Bridget Jones (R: Renee Zellweger) pairs up with her new younger friend Miranda (L: Sarah Moleni) for hilarious attempts to be young and reckless.

Sports

September 22, 2016 sports@unewsonline.com Lauren Tondl, Sports Editor Vivek Gorijala, Assoc. Sports Editor

Notre Dame neutered: SLU wins men’s cross country title By LAUREN TONDL Sports Editor

The men’s and women’s cross country teams showcased their promising potential for the season at the National Catholic Championship on Sept. 16 at the University of Notre Dame. The men captured the title for the first time in school history and the women earned a respectable fourth place finish. Six SLU runners finished in the top 25. Sophomore Matt Prest finished fourth overall with a time of 25:24.2 and fellow sophomore Manuel De Backer followed him in fifth place with a time of 25:25.9. Sophomore Dorrian Gordon slid into 10th place at 25:48.1. Sophomore Lance Mueller earned 15th place (25:56) and senior Neal Fitzpatrick came in at 18th place (26:03.3). Sophomore Wes Schoenthal rounded out the Billikens’ impressive performance with a time of 26:13.2 to earn a 24th place finish. Other Billiken runners were freshman Aaron Dugan, junior Hiob Gebisso and sophomore Sean Conlin. The men smoked the rest of the competition with a total of 52 points, 18 points below Notre Dame. This was the first year since 2000 that the Fighting Irish did not

take home the title. Head coach Jon Bell was very pleased about his team’s eﬀorts. “The men’s performance tonight was spectacular,” Bell said. “Any time you beat a program as established as Notre Dame, you know you are doing something right. All the men executed their race places just like we talked about leading into the race.” On the women’s side, 4 runners placed in the top 25 to give the women 4th place out of 11 teams. Sophomore Anna Schmitz led the Billiken pack with a 14th place finish (18:23.5), and sophomore Amy Kieliszewski followed her up in 16th place (18:31.1). Sophomore Courtney Pfanstiel and junior Courtney Link earned 21st and 22nd place with times of 18:36.4 and 18:38.1, respectively. Other runners included freshman Hannah Pierson, junior Sophie Adams, sophomore Elise Marker and freshman Megan Kress. Bell commented on the promise the women’s team showed and what’s next for both squads. “The women put together a solid eﬀort this evening,” he said. “For both teams, we have some areas we need to improve, but I am confident this group will make the adjustments and continue to improve in

Women’s soccer boasts 4-0 home record By VIVEK GORIJALA Associate Sports Editor

Saint Louis Athletics

RUN: The SLU women’s cross country team races at the National Catholic Championship hosted by Notre Dame. The women finished fourth, and the men won the title. the coming weeks. The important thing for us now is to continue with our plan and prepare for the A-10 Championships.” Upon his impressive performance at Notre Dame, Prest was named A-10 co-

Performer of the Week. He earned A-10 Rookie of the Week in last year’s outdoor track and field season. The Billikens will now have a short break and do not return to competition until Oct. 14, when they travel to

Peoria, Ill. for the Bradley Pink Classic, which will be the last regular season competition in which they will be competing. The Atlantic 10 Conference Championships begin on Oct. 29 in Richmond, Va.

SLU women’s soccer’s impressive start to the season encountered a road bump, with SLU crashing to a 3-1 defeat against Southern Methodist University at Westcott Field in Dallas, Texas. SLU played a relatively even game through the first half, but SMU capitalized on their second-half scoring opportunities to ensure that SLU dropped to a 6-2 overall record. SMU struck first with a goal in the 10th minute, but senior forward Danielle Tolmais tied the game up off an assist from senior midfielder Shaney Sakamoto in the 24th minute. However, that would prove to be the closest SLU came to a victory in the match. There were no more goals scored in the first half, and both teams finished with 2 shots each. The second half, though, proved to be a different affair. SMU outshot SLU 9 shots to 6, and SLU ultimately allowed 2 goals in the second half. While the loss brought SLU down to a 6-2 record, See “Soccer” on Page 8

Volleyball’s inconsistent form continues Mascot: Overwhelming opposition By VIVEK GORIJALA Associate Sports Editor

Saint Louis University Women’s Volleyball could not improve their losing record for the season, moving to 5-10 following the Billiken Invitational and a match against Western Illinois. The Billiken Invitational, an annual tournament hosted by the women’s volleyball team, saw Murray State, Omaha, and Illinois visit Chaifetz Pavilion. SLU’s first match came against Murray State, where they lost a tightly contested match 3 sets to 2. Murray State won a close first set that foreshadowed the eventual result of the match, winning 26-24 despite senior outside hitter Danielle Rygelski’s 5 kills. Murray State then drew to within one set of winning the entire match when they took the second set, 25-19, despite Rygelski once again pacing the attack with 5 kills. SLU swiftly enacted revenge in the third set, roaring out to a quick lead and never looking back behind Rygelski’s 8 kills and senior middle blocker Maryann Ejele’s 4 kills on 6 attempts. SLU then dominated Murray State in the fourth set, with a 25-13 win, with a .486 hitting percentage. However, SLU’s dominance did not last, as the fifth set

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saw Murray State negate an early SLU lead with a .500 hitting percentage. The match saw Rygelski tally 26 kills, tied for the team’s second-highest single match performance. Her 15 digs to go along with the kills meant that she earned her sixth double-double of the season. Ejele also registered a career-high 11 kills, to go along with 4 blocks and a .625 hitting percentage for an extremely efficient performance. Senior setter Ashley Gagen came oﬀ the bench as SLU’s setter to record a career-best 38 assists. Next up for the Billikens was Omaha, and SLU got back to winning ways with a 3-0 sweep of the team. Rygelski registered 5 kills and junior libero Mackenzie Long tallied 8 digs as SLU went on the capture the first set 2522. Things got easier for the Billikens in the second set, as senior middle blocker Taylor Paulson managed five kills on five swings on the way to a team .667 hitting per-

centage and a 25-14 set win. Paulson then recorded 3 kills off of 5 attempts, with no errors, in the third set, to lead SLU to a 25-16 set victory. Long led all players with 17 digs and 4 aces against Omaha, while Rygelski was the only player to record double-digit kills, as she had 12. Paulson was SLU’s most efficient attacker, with 8 kills on 13 attempts and only 2 errors, for a magnificent .462 attacking percentage. SLU also managed a seasonbest 9 aces in the match. F o r the final match of the Billiken Invitational, SLU faced off against Illinois. The first set of the match was close, but eventually went Illinois’ way as the Billikens lost, 25-22. Illinois then masterfully corralled SLU in the second set, winning 25-14. Illinois then completed the sweep in the third set with a 25-21 victory.

Continued from page 1

Julianna Curley said. Corinne Murphy, a graduate student, revealed that while she was not fond of the former Billiken, the newest iteration has impressed her even less. “I was never a fan of the Billiken. I think it’s weird. However, SLU made it more creepy and scary, and I miss the old Billiken, which I never thought I’d say.” Junior Joe Faerber agrees with the resistance to change. “It’s a classic example of ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.’ There was nothing wrong with the original Billiken,” he said. “As you can see on social media, it’s gotten awful feedback. I see what they were trying to go for, but I think they took a shot and missed badly.” Many programs and universities revamp their look anywhere from every eight to upwards of 25 years. This week marks the Billiken’s first facelift since the early 1990’s. It was intended to conform to a fresher and more geometric look that many other schools were beginning to sport. Some critics see the change as an eﬀort to fit the mold of more intimidating and modern mascots of bigger programs. “Coming from Omaha where they changed Creighton’s mascot to try and contend with big

Saint Louis University Women’s Volleyball could not improve their losing record for the season ...

JEER WHO TO CHEER LAMAR JACKSON The Louisville quarterback has jumped to the front of the Heisman race after leading No. 10 Louisville to a demolition job of No. 2 Florida State. Against the Seminoles, he ran for four touchdowns and threw for another, as Louisville went on to win by 43 points—the third most a No. 2 team has ever lost by.

See “Volleyball” on Page 8

schools, I wasn’t surprised when the Billiken looked fierce and uninviting, but I hoped SLU wouldn’t resign to conformity,” Curley said. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch quoted SLU President Fred Pestello about the reveal. “We feel particularly blessed because our mascot is so unique,” Pestello said. “(Students) pushed for a Billiken that was more contemporary. More aggressive looking, but still smiling and giving that knowing wink.” Students, alumni and others across the country think that the once cute and quirky face is now too aggressive for what the Billiken represents. Even Sports Illustrated commented on the change. “Mascots are always creepy. A person in a plush suit always looks unnatural, but SLU has created one of the most unnerving mascots ever. The new Billiken is not ‘things as they ought to be.’ It’s a monster.” Deadspin’s headline for their article speaks for itself: “SLU’s new mascot is hungry for your soul.” They further commented, “Responses to the university’s Twitter rollout of the Billiken have been universally negative. I hope the winking demon has mercy upon those who speak against it.” The SLU community is still buzzing about the up-

dated mascot, but Curley thinks heated feelings will die down quickly and acceptance may be on the horizon. “The SLU community got used to the new mascot being painted on the fields, courts and apparel, so I have a feeling once everyone voices how much they hate the new mascot, it’ll go back to normal,” she said. “While I would love to see SLU’s administration take our criticism seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if things stayed the same.” The next day, the Billiken personally responded to his haters with a video on his twitter account, @The_Billiken, which depicted him looking disappointed and frustrated at a computer screen, evidently scrolling through the volatile comments about his new appearance. He then slams the computer shut and leaves to go interact with students around campus. The video concludes: “The first day on the job can be rough, but at the end of a long day, it’s still great to be a Billiken.” With opinions continuing to float across social media and through the gossip chain of SLU’s campus, Billiken followers will be interested to see how the administration chooses to respond and whether the newest Billiken is here to stay.

FEAR WHO TO JEER AJ PRELLER The San Diego Padres general manager was suspended for 30 days by the MLB, without pay, for withholding injury information from teams when conducting trades. Preller went as far as to keep a separate, internal injury database for Padres’ use, and it’s a wonder he believed that the MLB wouldn’t catch on to him.

WHO TO FEAR MANCHESTER CITY Manchester City has played five games in the Premier League and won five. There must be something in new head coach Pep Guardiola’s training regimen, motivational methods or mere presence on the sidelines that has propelled Manchester City to a golden start to the season.

8 September 22, 2016 Tweet of the week

@KevinonCFB

Maybe Michigan should just sneak Tom Brady into a uniform or something.

Scores from the week Men’s Soccer Billikens 0 Louisville 1 SLU fell to 1-3 against ranked opponents this season as they lost 1-0 to No. 13 Louisville. SLU played well in the second half, earning five corner kicks and outshooting the Cardinals 6-4, but could not manage an equalizer. Women’s Soccer Billikens 1 SMU 3 SLU fell to only its second loss of the season, conceding 2 goals after senior forward Danielle Tolmais tied the game at 1. Billikens 1 Murray State 0 Sophomore forward Lindsay Sands scored a goal in the second period of overtime to lift the Billikens over Murray State. Volleyball Billikens 2 Murray State 3 Senior outside hitter Maryann Ejele had a career-best 11 kills and 4 blocks. Billikens 3 Omaha 0 Junior libero Mackenzie Long led all players with 17 digs and 4 aces. Billikens 0 Illinois 3 Senior outside hitter Danielle Rygelski won All-Tournament honors, as she did in every previous fall tournament. Billikens 3 Western Ilinois 1 Sophomore setter Camila Rivas had her second double-double of the season with 24 assists and 12 digs. Field Hockey Billikens 2 UMass-Lowell 9 Two Billiken goals were not enough to close the gap with the University of Massachusetts-Lowell. Billikens 0 Massachusetts 12 The women fired 2 shots from sophomore midfielder Carly Kissinger and junior forward Carli Wolfe.

SPORTS

This week in sports Thursday, Sept. 22

Friday, Sept. 23

Saturday, Sept. 24

Zumba Tennis Swim/Dive 5:30 p.m. @ Affton White- Bradley Invite @ Bradley 2 p.m. Alumni/Intrasquad Rodgers Community Center Field Hcckey Meet 6 p.m. v. Saint Joseph’s Volleyball Volleyball 1 p.m. v. GW 7 p.m. v. George Mason Softball 2 p.m. v. Parkland College @ SIUE 4 p.m. @ SIUE

Volleyball: 5-10 start to season

Sunday, Sept. 25

Monday, Sept. 26

Saint Louis Cardinals 7:08 p.m. @ Chicago Cubs

St. Louis Cardinals 7:15 p.m. v. Cinncinati Reds

Tuesday, Sept. 27 Wednesday, Sept. 28 Men’s Soccer 7 p.m. @ Wisconsin

Swimmers get feet wet at Open Water Nationals

Tennis 10 a.m. v. Missouri Baptist

Soccer: A-10 play awaits

Continued from page 7

SLU’s top performers in the match against Illinois included Rygelski, who led all hitters with 22 kills in the match. Long also had another strong game with 11 digs and 11 assists for her first career double-double. SLU finished their nonconference schedule at 5-10 with a midweek 3-1 victory over Western Illinois. The first set saw Rygelski record 8 kills to lead SLU to a 25-19. The second set saw a strong defense from the Billikens, who held Western Illinois to a .031 attack percentage and won the set 25-14. Western Illinois managed to take the third set 25-20, but SLU sealed their victory with a back-and-forth 31-29 fourth set victory. Next up for the Billikens will be a home match at Chaifetz Pavilion against George Mason on Sept. 23. SLU will then wrap up their weekend with a home Sept. 25 match against George Washington. The match against George Mason will be SLU’s Atlantic 10 conference opener, and SLU will hope to put their fall tournament woes this season behind them to compete for the top spot in the A-10. The following week, a potentially pivotal match awaits the Billikens, as the Dayton Flyers, last season’s A-10 conference champions, will visit Chaifetz Pavilion. If SLU is to stand any chance at winning the conference, they will want to show that they can overcome the Flyers. This year’s A-10 Conference Championship tournament will take place starting Nov. 18, hosted here at SLU’s Chaifetz Pavilion.

they still have much to be proud of through their first eight games of the season. Tolmais leads the team in goals, with 5, and has chipped in an assist as well, to give her the team lead in points, with 11. Her points lead is 3 clear of the closest Billikens, freshman forward Alyssa Seitzer and Sakamoto. Seitzer has added 4 goals for SLU in the past four games, and has the highest shots converted percentage, .364, on the team. Meanwhile, Sakamoto has 2 goals and 4 assists. Her 4 assists are only one shy of the team leader in assists, defender Isabella Palazzolo. SLU’s final game before the conference season starts came against Murray State, on a day reserved for the release of the new Billiken mascot. While SLU controlled the game in both the first and second halves, it took until the second period of overtime for SLU to finally earn their winning goal. Sophomore forward Lindsay Sands initially had her shot saved by the Murray State goalkeeper, and the ball fell to a Racer defender. However, Sands intercepted the defender’s clearance, and managed to smash home her third goal of the season. The goal improved SLU’s record to 7-2, which will go down as SLU’s nonconference record. SLU will have a short break before facing Dayton on Sept. 29 to open up their Atlantic 10 conference schedule. The team will aim to earn a playoﬀ place for this November’s A-10 Conference Championship, held in Kingston, Rhode Island.

Saint Louis Athletics

TEAM: Members of the SLU swim team pose after the Open Water Nationals on Sept. 17. The men finished 3rd and 6th while the women came in 5th place. By VIVEK GORIJALA Associate Sports Editor

If any Billikens swimming fans were wondering how SLU’s performances in swimming pools would translate to swimming like they did in ancient times, in a lake, they just received their answer. The SLU women’s swimming team finished fifth overall in the first- ever College Swimming Coaches Association of America Open Water Nationals, while the Men’s A Team finished third and the Men’s B Team finished sixth. All participants swam in a 5K race. The event took place at Lone Star Lake, which is near Lawrence, Kansas, and was scored similar to a cross country meet. Cumulative times of a team of three were added together to come up with a team time, and then each team was placed accordingly. Considering that this was the first-ever collegiate open water championship, swim-

Club hockey’s 20th year begins with a strong start By LAUREN TONDL Sports Editor

The SLU men’s club hockey team has entered its 20th season with a strong 3-1 start. Thus far, the squad has taken down Illinois with a pair of victories on Sept. 16 and 17. SLU’s first regular season game against the Illini was a tough fight, but the Billikens came back from a 4-1 deficit to take the 5-4 win. They brought that momentum into Saturday’s game to take another match from Illinois with a 5-2 victory. Senior Isaac Rider commented on his team’s upfront style of play and the success it brings them against a myriad of teams. “We like to play a very fast and aggressive game. We like to pressure the other team into making mistakes, and then capitalizing on those mistakes,” he said. Last season, SLU started on the back foot, with a 3-10 record halfway through the year. However, they ended at 13-14-1 in the regular season, showing a resilient nature while sticking through a long year. The big wins the team pulled out, despite the rough start, helped them qualify for the MACHA playoﬀs. Going into the 20th year of the club hockey program, this year is significant for the current Billikens as

well as the future of the program. “I think the hockey team is very fortunate to have been around for 20 years, so I think a successful season would be the best way to embrace that.” This success manifests itself in the high expectations the team has of one another and the results they seek to produce this year. “Everyone on the team has high expectations this year,” he said. “We expect to make it to the regional playoﬀs, and we are thinking that reaching the national tournament is achievable. We have a lot of talented and dedicated players on our team, and we are all aware of how successful we should be.” Behind the relentless pace on the ice, the team has a relaxed atmosphere on campus and outside the sport. “Our team is pretty laid back. We know we can be very successful this year, so we take our practices and games very seriously. But in the locker room and around campus, it’s all fun,” Rider said. The Billikens will be back in action against McKendree on Sept. 23 at 7 p.m. and Sept. 25 at 1:45 p.m. at Webster Groves Ice Arena. SLU faces their first road games on Sept. 30 and Oct. 1 at Illinois State. All SLU students are granted free admission to home games.

mers and coaches could be forgiven for not quite knowing what to expect from their teams. However, SLU’s performances in the competition were strong, and provide a strong starting point as the team competes this season. The women’s team’s fifth place finish with a time of 3:33:50.93 came behind swims from the trio of junior Mina Glenesk, freshman Olivia Wanasek, and junior Elaine Mahon. Glenesk finished in 14th overall, with a time of 1:09:14.54. Wanasek completed the race in 1:10:46.90, which was good enough for 18th overall. Finally, Mahon finished oﬀ the women’s team with a 1:13:49.49 time, good enough for 27th place individually. The men’s A Team finished third with a team time of 3:14:46. The swimmers on this team included freshman Tyler Guist, freshman Scott Street, and junior Jer-

emy Goodison. Guist finished 5th individually, swimming the 5K in 1:04:16.62. Street swam the course in 1:04:26.59, good for 9th place individually. Finally, Goodison rounded oﬀ SLU’s top finishers with a 13th place result, earned with a time of 1:05:58.74. The men’s B Team was not far behind in 6th place, and a team time of 3:25.07. The trio swimming on the B team included sophomore Isaiah Williams, senior Nick Jessee, and freshman Nick Belecanech. Williams completed the race in 1:06:47.91 in 16th place. A time of 1:09:20.49 earned Belecanech 20th overall. Finally, Jessee’s time was 1:09:42.15, good for 23rd overall. Up next for the Billikens will be the annual Alumni Meet, which will take place on Sept. 24 at the Simon Recreation Center. The Atlantic 10 Championships for swimming will take place in February.

A continental combination: Manta finds passion in soccer and startup By VIVEK GORIJALA Associate Sports Editor

While growing up in Chandler, Arizona, the quintessentially American sports of baseball and football never particularly interested junior soccer midfielder Luis Manta. His Uruguayan heritage and his parents, who grew up outside of the United States, led him to a more internationally popular sport- soccer. For as long as he can remember, Manta has been playing soccer. While in high school in Arizona, he even left for Uruguay for a short while to play soccer. Manta has always pushed himself in soccer, and always sought out opportunities to play at a higher level. The decision to come to SLU and play at one of men’s soccer’s most storied programs was a nobrainer for the midfielder. However, the beautiful game is not the John Cook senior’s only defining interest; his unique worldview, shaped by his parents’ and grandparents’ stories from when they lived outside the United States, have helped him start a business based on the exotic Korean pear. Foreign fruits have been a part of Manta’s life from his early childhood. “I grew up with guava trees in my backyard,” he said. However, his interest in the Korean pear

came directly from knowledge his parents picked up while in Asia. The Korean pear is a crispy, sweet, and low-calorie fruit that can be eaten raw or used in a marinade, something that is done often in Korean cooking. However, Manta, after reading about the taste and health benefits of the fruit, looked for a Korean pear juice, and was shocked that he could not find one. He immediately set out to use the pear to make a fruit juice. However, the road ahead had some speed bumps for Manta. “The taste was not suited for Western culture. My brother taste-tested my juice for me until I came up with the formula that is now Seoul Juice,” he said. According to Manta, the juice also has some potential benefits that anyone 21 and over may be interested in. “The Korean pear, and the juice, help speed up the breakdown of poisonous substances in the body. I learned this after creating the product and found there has been quite a bit of research behind it. My friends have said it works for them as well,” he said. At the moment, Manta is looking for a large-scale producer, which is quite a step up for Seoul Juice, which was once made in his parents’ kitchen. He even has some

Saint Louis Athletics

stores that are interested in selling the finished product, and he is currently talking to a food brokerage firm that is interested in spreading the product across the US. Manta expects the product to be in stores in early 2017. According to Manta, some food companies have heard about Seoul Juice and have oﬀered him jobs after graduation to work in the food industry. “I had no idea that making a juice with my mom’s blender would give me as many opportunities as it has, and I am very grateful to all those that have helped me along the way,” he added. While Manta develops his juice idea and puts his plans into action, he will also be busy preparing for his upcoming soccer matches with SLU. You can catch the men’s team in action against conference opponent VCU on Sept. 24 at 7:30 p.m. for the annual homecoming game.

Opinions Editorials

September 22, 2016 opinion@unewsonline.com Trevor Rogan, Opinion Editor

Editorials are opinion pieces written by the Editorial Board of The University News. The editorials printed in this space represent the opinion of The University News. Commentaries and Letters to the Editor represent the opinions of the signed authors, but do not necessarily represent the opinions of The University News.

Nostalgia: benefits of our bittersweet memories

Sophie Lappe / Illustrator At low points—when college seems too diﬃcult, or the weather takes a turn for the worse, or when days just seem dull—we like to look back at the good old days. These days may be from the recent summertime or they might be from one’s childhood. They could be times when family and friends were around, or times when work seemed easier. When we look back in time, we compare the present to the past. We often pick the moments full of joy and compare them to presentday life. Even if the overall feel of the past was not better than the present, the memories we choose outshine the mundane and unpleasant times. The past thus is recreated to be a golden age, highlighted by a few memories. For some, thinking of the past as the golden age impacts them negatively. We all know someone who cannot

let go of their old accomplishments, and the theme of “peaking in high school” is abundant. Nostalgia, in fact, was thought to be a psychological disorder into the 20th century, when it was referred to as “immigrant psychosis.” Today, however, scientists have found nostalgia to have benefits. A study from the University of Southampton found that negative feelings, especially loneliness, trigger nostalgia. Nostalgia helps us deal with feelings of anxiety and lack of purpose. When we wax nostalgic, we rein in happy memories to counter negative emotions. By identifying meaningful moments in our lives, we draw meaning to our lives in general. In addition, nostalgia provides context to our lives. When misfortune befalls us or we find ourselves alone, we remember times that were good, much like the

saying that a bad day does not mean a bad life. Thus nostalgia establishes a narrative for us, allowing us to understand that a bad moment is negative in relation to an overall good life. Nostalgia also provides a foundation for relationships. When couples share nostalgic memories, they feel closer to each other. When friends who have fallen out of touch remember their glory days together, they can rebuild the friendship. This emotion pervades our lives, from adolescence to old age. The bittersweet memories of gleeful childhood, high school dances and loved ones past will remain. Sights, sounds, tastes and smells take memories stored deep in our mind and bring them to the forefront. With the technology of the last hundred years, nostalgia has become more prominent; within a few seconds we can search an old song or locate a picture that takes us back to the good old days. The University News EdBoard shared some of our favorite nostalgic memories, like how one member remembers stealing his grandpa’s comfy chair to sit in while eating ramen noodles and watching Rocket Power. Nostalgia has weak and strong forms. At the weak end of the spectrum, nostalgia provides a gentle, comfortable reminder of pleasant times past. At the strong end, it evokes a deep, visceral response. Sights, sounds and smells act as cues that activate nostalgic memories. Signs of changes from season-toseason remind us of childhood—jumping in piles of leaves in the autumn, watching the first snowflakes of the winter, seeing the trees grow green in the spring, cooling oﬀ in the pool during the

summer. A song takes us back in time to periods of time when we binge-listened to certain artists. Smells—an ex-girlfriend’s perfume, your father’s aftershave, the wafting scent of Thanksgiving dinner—can also remind us of old days. Another member of the Ed-Board described how her grandfather told her stories before he passed away. He would talk to her about cars all the time. His favorite pastime was watching NASCAR races, and in the 1950’s he even owned a race car with his brother. Thinking about the memories with him provide her with a sense of comfort and safety. She mentioned how she is especially fond of the nostalgic memories because when she was a child, there were no worries about school, money or responsibilities. She focused on relationships and family—the two most valued things in her life. In the same way, another member felt that the early days were simpler. He would finish his homework and hop outside, ready to play. His memories again involved his family, this time his siblings. Nostalgia brings comfort to our lives, reminding us of what was important. In times of worry, we remember the simpler times. Family, friends and fun filled our lives. Our duties were less, and our imaginations were bigger. The emotion helps us along, and although we might spend too much time thinking about the past, looking at times when we were happy can guide us toward brighter lives. Hopefully we can look at the past while thinking about the future; let us find in the past a means to reimagine it—not a recreation, but something based on what we value.

Letters

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Quotes of the Week

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Any time you beat a program as established as Notre Dame, you know you’re doing something right Jon Bell, cross country head coach, page 7

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I miss the old Billiken, which I never thought I’d say Corinne Murphy, graduate student, page 7

If experience and valid policy stances were the gauge in this election as they have been for decades, Trump would have been weeded out of the primary over a year ago.

John Barrett, sophomore, page 10

UNewsers: What will you do while Humphrey’s is gone? In light of the news that Humphrey’s will be closing its doors for a remodeling, we asked our Ed. Board this week what they will do in absence of the upperclassmenfavorite watering hole. For some of us, little will change. Several members of the Ed. Board have never been to the locally renowned college bar. But for those who have attended Humphrey’s, the bar will be held in their thoughts. Below is our Ed. Board’s testimony: Mack: I’ll probably either end up heading to The Grove, Maplewood or Tower Grove. I like the idea of going to an area that has a bit of a neighborhood feel, because there are so many options. The fact that The Grove is so

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close to campus is definitely a big plus. Maplewood is definitely an underrated area by SLU students. Meredith: I’ll be graduating in the spring, so I’m hoping the construction on Hump’s will wait until after I’m gone, but if not, this weekend I went to the newly-opened Narwhal’s for the first time, and I definitely can see myself going there with a group of friends instead of Humps for a midweek drink, especially in nice weather. I’m sad though, because I feel like a ton of bars will start popping up around closer to campus as soon as my class has graduated and I’ll come back to visit and be really jealous of the current upperclassmen.

Will: Sadly, I have no memories of Humphrey’s and those memories don’t exist for the saddest of reasons. I am under 21 and have never been able to spend an evening in that storied testament to the life of decades of Billikens. It is a place that I, as an underclassman, had looked at with a childish awe for the past two years. Perhaps, the class of ‘18 and I will find another place to celebrate our senior year every Wednesday. Brendan: I’ll still end up drinking wine at home alone. Trevor: With my 20th birthday due in November, I will never experience Humphrey’s. I never thought much about Humphrey’s as something I would miss, but

I have also never considered it as something that was going away in the foreseeable future. Of course, the bar is not actually going away. It’s just changing. The business is adapting to the changing bar scene. Still, as a St. Louis resident from birth, I find it sad to know I will never go to the old bar next to SLU as it was for decades. My parents, their friends and my sister all have been to Humphrey’s, and it’s disappointing to think that I will not be able to. Alas, all good things must come to an end. Hopefully when I experience the new Humphrey’s I will still be able to enjoy it despite the lost appeal of the bar’s history. Tess: Well, I’ll be graduat-

ing in December so I’m unsure if I will be around when the remodeling takes place. However, if I am here, even though I usually complain 15 minutes into Pennies about the sticky floors, obnoxious music and annoying exes that I’m trying to avoid, I will miss this sweaty armpit of a bar. To get over the pain, I’ll hit up some of my other favorite places like the Heavy Anchor on Gravois Ave. and the Whiskey Ring on Cherokee St. Or like most SLU students blessed enough to be over 21, I’ll be at McGurk’s and Molly’s. Kyle: The SLU bar scene (for as much it could be considered a “scene”) has undergone a lot of changes over the years. I’ve been at this school

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long enough to have known students that remember the days when the Shack was called Laclede’s. Now, the Shack’s closed and Laclede’s is nothing but a stray line of graﬃti that means nothing to anyone but occasionally passing alumni. But Hump’s is a SLU staple. It’s been here longer than any student you or I could have ever met. It’s where I’ve spent the majority of time, and more money than I care to admit. What will I do while it’s closed? To be honest, I don’t really know. But I do know that until the day they start tearing down that first wall, I’ll be there every chance I get, with a greasy pitcher in one hand and a penny in the other.

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10 September 22, 2016

OPINIONS & EDITORIALS

Too little, too late for third-party candidate Gary Johnson

DC Comics continues comic book industry domination

nounced their official campaign for Office in mid-June of 2015, while Johnson announced his campaign in January of 2016. Right off the bat, he was about seven months behind his potential competitors. As a thirdparty candidate, Johnson would need one of the most influential and empowering campaigns to compete with both parties. Starting seven months after Clinton and Trump is not a step in the direction of an influential campaign. His campaign began as a grassroots movement at the beginning compared to Clinton and Trump. The two have been spending millions of dollars in order to become more known and gain support. Clinton has raised over $500 million for her campaign; Trump amassed over $100 million. Meanwhile, Johnson has raised a measly $8 million compared to the Clinton and Trump powerhouses. Johnson’s Aleppo gaffe did not help his campaign either. On MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” Johnson was asked a question regarding Aleppo, a major Syrian city and the center of the country’s refugee crisis, and he did not recognize the city, believing it to be an acronym. This interview yielded Johnson’s campaign the most publicity thus far. His blunder was a huge hit to his following. The Syrian refugee crisis has been one of the main topics of concern in this year’s election. His campaign is too small to withstand such a blow to his credibility. Johnson’s movement has snowballed too late in the election season and will not gain enough support by the time Nov. 8th comes around. According to Real-

super-powered siblings Gotham and Gotham Girl emerge. Batman also leads the first crossover of “Rebirth: Night of the Monster Men.” Green Arrow finds out that his alter ego, billionaire Oliver Queen, has been killed by a new group of villains: the Ninth Circle. Picture Fort Knox for super villains and that’s them. I would love to see them come to The CW show “Arrow.” The new Green Lanterns of Earth, Simon Baz and Jessica Cruz, are forced to work together when Hal Jordan fuses their power batteries. They must battle a Red Lantern invasion force as well as their animosity towards each other. The series deals remarkably well with Jessica’s anxiety and Simon’s struggles with being Muslim in America. A man named Mr. Oz tells Superman that he is not who he thinks he is. After defeating the Eradicator, a foe bent on completing the destruction of Krypton, Superman contemplates the merits of his actions. This series definitely feels like Superman—exploring dark and heavy issues, yet keeping a light tone. Black Manta, Aquaman’s nemesis, has destroyed the Atlantean embassy and taken over the criminal group NEMO, while Aquaman is on the run for a crime that he didn’t commit. Aquaman is of mixed human and Atlantean heritage, and the writers weave this dynamic into the series very well. Two diﬀerent stories feature Wonder Woman: “The Lies,” exploring her present disillusionment, and “Year One,” covering her past. Both of these stories are well written and drawn and explore gender issues with cuttingedge precision.

Michael Tettambel

This election points to the rift that exists in our nation. It is a competition of extremes. Trump and Clinton’s name-calling and bickering proves this. Hillary Clinton has had more than a handful of scandals in her political career. Donald Trump has run many businesses into the ground and seems to be a racist. These candidates from both the Democratic and Republican parties have been dominating the media. But another candidate has started to enter a major public platform. Gary Johnson, a Libertarian candidate, is starting to become a familiar name in this year’s election. He may be a candidate where both parties can meet on important issues that are being discussed over these recent months. It appears that he shares stances and ideals on many issues from both parties. Johnson entering the race adds to the quagmire that is the presidential election. Nonetheless, Johnson needs a major stage from which he can persuade voters. And this stage would be the presidential debates, the first of which he has been excluded from. His message, however, has not grown quickly enough to gain him a national spotlight heading oﬀ against Clinton and Trump. Moreover, I feel it is too late for Gary Johnson. Clinton and Trump both an-

ClearPolitics.com, Johnson is not leading in any state polls. He is not currently sitting in a position that will prove successful for him. It is almost October, just one month away from the election. Therefore, he is just taking away precious votes from Clinton and Trump in swing states. It is possible in future elections that a third-party candidate could arise and assume oﬃce. This candidate must learn from Johnson in order to be successful. The candidate should establish a campaign early on and start spreading an influential message through all platforms to reach a diverse audience of voters. A third-party candidate should aspire to gather a following that brings their candidacy to the debates, which Johnson has failed to do thus far. This election has been as chaotic as ever—from the hack of the Democratic National Committee that released emails showing favor of Clinton, to Donald Trump’s takeover of the Republican Party. It will be interesting to see if any changes occur after this year’s election, or if one of the parties experiences a realignment. If the latter were to occur, it could create an opening for a third-party candidate like Johnson. It is important for voters not to become zealously associated with a political party, regardless of the party’s message. Many of us vote Democrat or Republican because of the way our parents or friends vote. We should vote for the candidate that best matches our beliefs, but perhaps voting for a thirdparty candidate is not in our best interest this election.

Karl O’Brien

DC Comics hasn’t had the best of luck lately, let’s be honest. “Suicide Squad” was critically panned, and “Batman v Superman” has gotten bad press, even among fans. Nevertheless, the field it continues to dominate, as it has for many years, is the comic book industry. In May, DC reset all of their major solo titles to number one in an initiative called “Rebirth.” It was oﬃcially meant to restore the DC Universe to its preNew 52 standing, while still maintaining elements of the New 52’s continuity. Rebirth has prompted a huge spike in summer comic sales as a whole, and will likely continue to do so through fall and the holidays. The starting point, the one-shot issue Rebirth, features the original Wally West (Kid Flash) attempting to return to the time stream. It is ultimately the Flash, West’s mentor, who brings West back at the last second when his memory is literally sparked. To many readers, it was one of the most touching scenes in comics. In the end, it is revealed that Dr. Manhattan, the leader of the Watchmen, removed ten years from many characters minds, including pivotal memories. Now to get up to speed (get it?) about some of the new stories– Batman finds himself questioning his role as his city’s protector when

Trump’s political incorrectness gives candidate free pass

John Barrett

The United States needs to build a wall on the southern border with Mexico. Not just that, but Mexico will pay for this wall. This is just one of Donald Trump’s notorious and polarizing views. Throughout his campaign, Trump has held stances that Republicans running for President of the United States before him have not held. His behavior has been rebuked by numerous highprofile Republicans in the establishment, including former Republican presidential nominees Mitt Romney and John McCain. Just recently, former Republican president George H. W. Bush came out in support for Hillary Clinton, the Democratic candidate for president. This should be an indicator to American voters of how troubling Trump is to not only the Republican Party but to America, and yet it doesn’t seem to have an effect. The significance of losing a percentage of the Republican establishment’s support is staggering when you compare it to his support throughout the country. He has been praised by American voters for being a “Washington outsider” and running an “unconventional campaign.” In short, he says and does things that politicians would consider politi-

same time, her polling numcally incorrect. An example bers have dropped. The only of this would be his stance problem with this is that, if that Muslims would not be Trump had said it, many of allowed to enter the United his supporters would have States under a Trump presiapplauded the comment, dency, whether as citizens or quite possibly acceleratrefugees from areas of coning him ahead in the polls. flict. He has even gone so far We’ve seen it before. It’s not as to say American Muslims unlike Trump to make such may be entered into a rega generalization and for his istry. This stance is one that supporters to back it. many Americans believe Look at to be inherthe newly reently racist, leased photo xenophobic from the and against Trump camAmerican idepaign comals. Yet, his Trump’s rhetoric paring Syrsupporters are has given underly- ians refugees praising him for these un- ing sentiments in the to Skittles. The graphic conventional United States, such reads, “If I views. a bowl of Clinton, as racism, the op- had skittles and I on the other hand, cannot portunity to grow. He told you just aﬀord to make gives those that per- three would kill you. such claims. The former ceive other groups of Would you a handfirst lady and people as inferior a take ful? That’s senator has Syrbeen under means by which they our ian refugee the political can further these problem.” It spotlight for well over 20 dangerous attitudes. was released in order to, years, and as a in Donald politician, she Trump Jr.’s has been held own words, to standards “end the pothat Trump litically corseems to disrect agenda.” Not only did regard. It creates a disparity the Trump campaign skew on the battleground. Recentdata, but it compared huly, Clinton called some of man beings fleeing a devasTrump’s supporters a “bastating civil war to candy. If ket of deplorables,” which this comment does not genincluded, in her own words, eralize more than Clinton’s Trump supporters that are “deplorables” comment, it “sexist, racist, homophobic, at least matches its audacity. xenophobic, Islamophobic” So why has Trump received and are thus “irredeemable.” less flak? It appears that Having grossly generalized Trump supports are backing American voters, Clinton the statement, while Demohas received blowback that crats came out against Clinhas aﬀected her image; at the

ton’s comment. They urged Clinton to recant, which she later did. Trump, on the other hand, has not and most likely will not revoke. When Clinton says something “politically incorrect,” she is scorned. When Trump does it, he is lauded. His campaign thrives because of moments like these. The Trump campaign is receiving a free pass on these comments. They are following an entirely diﬀerent set of guidelines than Clinton, allowing them to recklessly choose words and get away with it. The consequences? Trump’s rhetoric has given underlying sentiments in the United States, such as racism, the opportunity to grow. He gives those that perceive other groups of people as inferior a means by which they can further these dangerous attitudes. He is harming the foundation the United States stands for: freedom and equality of all. Standards are set for this reason, and Trump’s lack of care for them is bringing out hatred in this country. Being “politically correct” has never been so important. Political incorrectness, or what is actually plainly articulated bigotry, has divided this society. It has depleted policy as the main issue of focus. If experience and valid policy stances were the gauge in this election as they have been for decades, Trump would have been weeded out of the primary over a year ago. Reckless rhetoric and blatant racism have kept him in the race this long, and hopefully in the months to come, voters will start to show their disapproval of this malicious behavior.

Wally West is at the center of “Titans,” which sees him reunite with the original Teen Titans. Along the way, Abra Kadabra, a 34thcentury magician who threw Wally West out of time, returns with a vengeance. This entertaining and thrilling series seems key to explaining Rebirth itself. In Hal Jordan’s absence, his arch-enemy Sinestro has declared himself ruler of the universe. Hal is captured by the Sinestro Corps, but a confrontation looms. The suspense and mystery run high every issue as the Green Lantern Corps prepares to return. Nightwing is pushed to his limits as he accepts a new mentor, the morally dubious Raptor, in his quest to eradicate the Parliament of Owls. The humor balanced with serious ethical issues makes this series worth the read. Jaime Reyes just wants to be normal, preferably by getting rid of the scarab that has fused itself to his back. The sorcerer Doctor Fate, meanwhile, drops a truth bomb: the Blue Beetle is not alien, but magical. It’s yet another teenage superhero struggle bus-ride, but the humor alone makes it promising. The fan-favorite assassin Deathstroke faces new challenges as he tries to navigate a deadly African civil war and rescue his daughter from an assassination attempt. This series delves deeper into the mystery that is Slade Wilson. The divide between man and machine becomes increasingly blurred for Cyborg as he begins wondering what he is—a man who feels like a machine, or a machine who feels like a man. I feel this series has great potential to shed more light on a severely underrated member of the Justice League.

Sparky, SLU’s racoon martyr, deserves own day

Alex Rader

For those of you that don’t know, we’re coming up on a very important anniversary here at Saint Louis University, and as is customary for a one-year anniversary, my gift will be paper. A newspaper. The one you’re holding right now. This gift is for Sparky. On the morning of Sept. 30, 2015, one brave, little trash-digger boldly bit into a power line and cut electricity to the east half of SLU’s campus. This loss of power resulted in the cancellation of all classes on the Frost campus. That was the day that Sparky, a tenacious and undoubtedly handsome raccoon, darkened campus and lit up our hearts. Here is why I believe that Sparky Day should be a campus holiday: It’s basically Earth Day. Humanity vs. nature is a common theme in literature and film. “Into the Wild,” “Heart of Darkness,” “The Old Man and the Sea,” “The Revenant,” “The Martian”— the list goes on and on. In all of those stories, nature only explicitly wins once, and unless you’re just sick of reading, you’re probably not rooting for nature. Isn’t it time we celebrate just once the triumph of nature over man? Appreciation of this lil bandit would reflect and encourage the SLU community’s love of nature and our commitment to the lives of future raccoons. So long as school is cancelled every

Sept. 30, students need not wish another raccoon undue harm. It resulted in a preThanksgiving. It’s not everyday you freely gather with friends and family, especially when you’re busy with school. But Sparky’s quite literal biting of the bullet resulted in a pseudo-Thanksgiving between students living east of Simon Rec and those living west of it. Students living in Fusz, Pruellage and the Village invited their Griesedieck brothers and sisters to bask in the light of the fluorescents and break bread with them at Subway. I think we would all appreciate a day spent with those peers who live just a little too far away for us to bother walking over to, and while we eat with our distant friends, we could each pour out a little cat food for our old pal Sparky. It was essentially Christmas. And I don’t just mean that the day oﬀ was a gift. Sparky’s martyrdom was a modern-day Christ allegory. Sparky the raccoon died to absolve us of our classes. While I am almost certain that he did not rise again (I heard he was in like, a hundred chunks), his impact on the SLU community has been lasting and memorable. Sparky truly lived out the mission of the University by sacrificing himself for the good of humanity, as a service to the community. Did Sparky know what he was doing, or what price he would pay for his actions? Probably not. But I hope he got what he was reaching for before going out in a beautiful blaze of glory. Most likely a bug of some kind. R.I.P. Sparky, the raccoon that burns twice as bright but burns half as long.

September 22, 2016

UNEWS THROWBACK The response to the Billiken mascotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most recent makeover has been overwhelmingly negative, with many people calling for a return to its previous form. But SLUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beloved mascot has undergone a number of changes over the years. Below are a few of the Billikenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s many diďŹ&#x20AC;erent appearances throughout history. All photos courtesy of Billiken Athletics

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12 September 22, 2016

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