No. 21 (March 31, 2016)

Page 1

UNUDES

Connect with UNews SLU named #1 university in the U.S., according to local media outlet

unewsonline.com

Vol. XCV No. 21

Friday, April 1, 2016

A student jest of Saint Louis University since ... a long time ago

BREAKING: Pestello says enough is enough; he will coach the men’s basketball team. See page 8

Refresh seen as a means to embrace digital media

LOGO: The new UNews logo is a simple blue box. The paper sees this as a big improvement compared to the old logo, which was determined to be too informative and confusing. By PAUL BRUNKHORST Editor and Chef

Faced with the looming presence of online media outlets and the attentiongrabbing aspect of their medium, The University News – SLU’s student newspaper – announced today that it has completed a rebranding effort: unveiling new logos for the paper and a new font for its text-based endeavors. “We spent a lot of time over the past couple of months assessing our situation,” Paul Brunkhorst, the paper’s editor-in-chief, said at the press conference

announcing the paper’s refreshed look. (The press conference was sparsely attended; inside sources say that the only attendees, the paper’s editorial staff, were required to attend.) “We think that this new logo will engage people. It’s not cluttered like the old logo. And creating a new look was a hell of a lot easier than continually trying to improve our content and write good pieces – which is what we’ve done in the past. Writing is hard; this new logo reflects what our readers desire: simplicity,” Brunkhorst added. Indeed, the paper spent

a significant amount of its time and financial resources pursuing its redesigned logo and look. Editors and staff committed themselves to gathering input from the paper’s readers, and The University News says that it took seriously the recommendations and comments it received from its subscriber base. “We convened focus groups and conducted surveys, and we can say with certainty that the new logo and font are what people want from the paper,” Brunkhorst stated. The new logo is a simple blue box, which the paper

says signifies its commitment to simplicity – stories that won’t make you think too hard. And the new font that the paper will begin using is Comic Sans – “a third grade-level approach to making stories friendlier,” Brunkhorst quipped. Though the paper says that it is in dire financial straits – print ad revenues have fallen steadily over the last few years – it still spent a few thousand dollars, approximately 30% its budget, to pay for a logo refresh by an outside company, a company that was also involved in other high profile logo campaigns. “Yes, we’re facing a budget deficit for this school year,” Brunkhorst stressed, “but this is money well spent. People will love this new logo.” It appears, though, that the public has not been as receptive to the redesign as Brunkhorst and his staff thought. On the paper’s Facebook page, the picture of the new logo has garnered more than 500 comments – most them negative. “Does the UNews think that its readers are stupid?” one commenter wrote. “No, of course not,” Brunkhorst said when asked about the comment at the news conference. “We’re just trying to prepare the paper for the digital age. The new logo and font will ensure our continued relevance in the future.”

Scrutinizing Atlas, sort of By ALEX HANEL Radical Extremist Social Justice Warrior

A breaking investigative report conducted by the University News Editorial Board has revealed that the ATLAS Program is actually an illegal front, organized by radical extremist social justice warriors, used to make students at SLU actually give a damn from time to time. The ATLAS Program, whose “official” mission is to “Increase awareness of the global issues that confront us today in an effort not only to promote discussion, but to inspire and inform action.” While this façade serves to placate administrative overseers and the casual donor or two, undercover investigation has discovered that the whole gig is secretly de-

signed, created and repeated year after year to radicalize students and force upon them a sense of civic duty and international responsibility. “Quite frankly,” said Haley, a female sorority member at SLU who asked to keep her last name unrevealed for fear of retribution from the aggressively benevolent organization, “I’m not comfortable with radical advocates forcing a doctrine of international education, cultural competency, and calls to action down my throat. I want to be able to choose which social issue I care about for one week out of the year.” When asked for comment, the ATLAS Program director confronted investigators with an obviously fake

yet, genuinely confused reply. “I honestly do not know what you mean. All we do is hold events that encourage students to learn about areas outside of America, where is the harm in that?” The harm, our crackpot investigative team found, lies in the collateral damage that such radical teachings will do to the social balances already at critical tipping point within the University. “This will have huge negative impacts on campus aggregate happiness,” one undercover investigator within SLU heard an un-named Dean explain to a confused colleague. “If our students learn that there are actual people experiencing actual poverty outside of the St. Louis region, their malleable little souls will certainly feel

bad! Possibly even enough to plummet our current ratings in the recent “Universities with the Happiest Students” rankings.” While higher-ups are ensuring that no actionable practices or follow-ups will be approved to act upon this new sense of care and charity brutally forced upon the student population, some students actually remain unaffected. “Look,” said Joe Johnson, a critical symbol invented for this story to make you reexamine your own life, “I didn’t attend the Clock Tower Accords, I have never attended a candle-light vigil, hell, and I skipped out on the Oath of Inclusion Talk during welcome week! Why the hell would international issues affect me anyways?”

UNews mourns for editor By EMILY HIGGINBOTHAM Senior Obituary Staff

Paul Allen Brunkhorst was born on September 2, 1993 among the dusty, dank books at the Minneapolis Public Library, where his love for literature began. He was buried wearing his most prized possession: his monogrammed lifting gloves. Paul never denied his love for his gloves, or his obsession with exercise. As he told many: “I lift.” After a brief, unsuccessful

attempt at learning to swim, Paul turned to his second love—letters, and when they’re put together-- otherwise known as words. During his tenure as Editor-inChief, he often suppressed a blinding rage at an ineffective staff and professed a deep-seated hatred of mu-

sicals. He also wrote some stuff, but nothing worth mentioning. The editorial board revered Paul’s bravery in his investigative pieces on the Student Government Association’s weekly meetings. He often caught naps during new business. We reached out to the SGA president, who Paul re-

spected, but fundamentally disagreed with, when it came to neckwear. When asked to comment on his passing, Bryant responded, “No comment. Winky face.” Paul died where he was most alive—Joo Joo’s Korean Karaoke. As he fell to the floor, after a sweeping rendition of Whitney Houston’s immortal “I Will Always Love You,” he uttered his final words: “oooooh, nooooo. Was that supposed to happen?” Paul, we hardly knew ye.

BREAKING:

Writing center focuses on poppycock more jargon-friendly. A few examples of sentence fixes were provided: When Ben Jonson, a juSample sentence 1: The nior in the College of Arts United States and other deand Sciences, got a paper he mocracies are well equipped recently wrote for one of his to confront political chalbusiness classes returned to lenges. him, he was shocked by the Edited version: The degrade: a C+. mocratization of the United “It was disheartening,” States has greatly increased Jonson said. “And it’s not like its inclusionary ability to I haven’t gotten low grades face issues that have been before. I seriously put a lot problematized by abundantof time into that paper, and ly prevalent worldly woes – I thought that it was one of woes whose promulgatory the best pieces I’ve ever writaspects are increasingly apten.” parent. The paper, however, acSample sentence 2: Aucording to comments writthors constantly try to perten on it fect the by Jonson’s dialogue of p r o f e s s o r, their literary had one fatal characters. Jonson was flaw: it was Edited too clear. version: “I underBook writstand what ers fervently you’re tryattempt to ing to say, legitimize and that’s the playa problem,” ers in their Jons on’s works by professor giving them penned in satisfactorily the margin. “Where are the significant lines, ones which power words? Where’s the are indices of deep analytic academic mumbo-jumbo?” thought. Jonson was floored by Jonson and other stuthe critique; he says that he’s dents expressed hesitation, spent a great deal of time in however, and some students the writing center perfecting see the new center’s goals his narrative voice and arguas antithetical to everymentative style. thing they’ve ever learned in “I didn’t know what to school. The SLU English dedo,” he said. “I’ve gotten betpartment agrees. ter grades on papers that I “We are appalled by the thought were absolute crap, university’s commitment stuff that I literally scribbled to being confusing,” the down five minutes before department said in a letclass.” ter released soon after the And Jonson is not alone. announcement of BULL’s The results of an academic creation. “Nobody benefits survey conducted by SLU at from this. All along, we have the beginning of the semesbeen teaching students to be ter show that many other clear, to use less adverbs and students are adjectives – struggling to show and with the not to tell same issue – and now – professors all of that are increasseems to ingly giving have gone them bad down the marks for drain. This their clean, is unbelievsparse writable, and we ing. hope that “What, the admindo you think istration will I’m a child?” re consider one profesthis move.” sor wrote on the paper of a The university countered student who agreed to show by stating how important his work to The University BULL will be in securing jobs News on the condition that for students. Employers, the he remain anonymous. “No school stressed, are increaswords in this paper have ingly looking for big words, more than five syllables, and for sentences that sound imyou haven’t made any nouns portant and for writing that into verbs – I can’t give this can be easily construed in any higher than a D.” multiple ways. But the university has “This is the future,” the finally decided to respond. university said in its letter In a letter sent out today to to students. “Who has a job the student population, SLU and who doesn’t have a job administrators announced will be determined by one’s the opening of a new writlevel of expertise in obfuscaing center, dubbed the Baltion. Commitment is a scary derdash Update to Language thing, so if what you’re sayLessons – or BULL for short. ing is ambiguous, you’ll defiThe center will be staffed by nitely have a leg up.” undergraduates from a numJonson, however, is still ber of disciplines – notably skeptical. He did recently resociology, business, psycholceive an A for a paper writogy and political science – ten in the new BULL-apbut it will be open for use proved style, but he regrets by all members of the SLU what he’s lost. community. In the letter an“My writing used to denouncing the center’s openfine me,” he said. “But now it ing, the administration gave seems to just make me more a few examples of the work unsure of myself. I don’t that will be done in the cenknow what I’m saying anyter to make student writing more.” By PAUL BRUNKHORST Editor and Chef

“ “

“

New logo for The University News

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eam. See page 8

Page 9

ADVERTISEMENT

March 31, 2016

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UNEWS unewsonline.com

Vol. XCV No. 21

In Sept. 2014, SLU English professor Dr. Jonathan Sawday was discussing, with his graduate students, the essay “Literary History as a Challenge to Literary Theory” by Hans Robert Jauss. In this essay, Jauss puts forth the idea of the “horizon of expectations” that a reader has as he or she engages with a text. At the March 23 English departmentsponsored Ong Symposium on the Digital Humanities – an event named after the world-renowned SLU English professor and linguist Fr. Walter Ong, S.J. – Sawday discussed this classroom experience and pointed to its importance in initiating the research that he and three of his students (Geoff Brewer, Lauren Kersey and Seth Strickland) presented at the symposium. The horizon of expectations is, Sawday said, “The reader’s sense as they move through a text and encounter something new or unexpected, more often at a structural level, which forces them to adjust their preconceived notions … which, in turn, help them to make sense of what they’re reading.” Jauss’ proposition planted an idea with Sawday and his students about whether such “structural levels” of literature could be identified – in a very precise, algorithmic way. “While we were reading and discussing Jauss, we also talked a little about the work that is going on in the U.S. and in Europe about developments in author attribu-

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SLU hires Ford for top coaching spot Page 8

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A student voice of Saint Louis University since 1921

Words, in time By PAUL BRUNKHORST Editor-in-Chief

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tion, the ways in which texts, or portions of texts, are attributed as a work of Author Y as opposed to Author Z using computational linguistics,” Sawday said. “Could we, we wondered, train a computer to spot anachronistic texts – texts that are in the wrong place at the wrong time? In other words, could we teach a computer to detect what we termed ‘time signals’ beyond the more familiar and very successful efforts to identify genres and authors using computer programs?” Going off of the successes of previous researchers – who have created ways for computers to recognize certain aspects of texts – Sawday and his students, with the help of SLU computer science students, developed such a technique to try and have computers place texts into certain time periods. Sawday and his team decided to use the early modern English literary time epochs outlined by the Victorian literary critic George Saintsbury. Saintsbury’s epochs are the 15th century, 1500-1588; Early Elizabethan, 15901599; Jacobean, 1600-1624; Carolinian, 1625-1639; and Augustan, or, “the rest,” as Sawday put it. The computer program used a number of factors— including word use and type—to try and place literary works within these preconceived time periods. The process was not without challenges. “Despite all the emphasis

See “Ong” on Page 4

Thursday, March 31, 2016

A conviction and a beginning

Bosnian students organize at a critical threshold

Courtesy of Bosnia-Herzegovina Student Assocation, via Facebook

OFFICIAL: BHSA’s executive board celebrated their organization’s approval by SGA on March 16. SLU has about 50 students of Bosnian heritage, according to a member. By TIM WILHELM News Editor

Radovan Karadžić appeared relatively calm on Thursday, March 26, as United Nations Judge O-Gon Kwon handed down guilty verdicts on ten of eleven counts, including genocide, persecution, extermination and murder. Karadžić, a Bosnian Serb politician during the eighties and nineties, will spend forty years in jail for the murder of thousands of Muslims at Srebrenica in 1995. Muhamed Talovic, a sophomore at SLU, believes justice has not been served. “I did the math, and he’s going to spend 40 hours for each victim of the Srebren-

ica genocide, which is nothing, really,” he said. “What I think they should have done, or what the sentence should have been, is they should have take the age of all 8,372 victims, add it together, and that’s what they should have made it.” Talovic, born in Tuzla, Bosnia, moved with his family to Switzerland during the Bosnian War, casualties of which number in the hundreds of thousands. He was four years old when the family moved to St. Louis as part of a resettlement program for refugees. He has now lived here for 16 years. “I lost a lot of family members [in the war],” he said: his maternal grandfather, as well as two of his father’s broth-

GIC hosts Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

ers, who were soldiers. The Talovics, like a majority of St. Louis’ Bosnian community, initially lived in the Bevo Mill area. Karadžić’s sentencing has sparked discussion, said Talovic: “People are talking about it. Neither side is happy about it. The victims and their families aren’t happy with it, they think it’s too little, and his supporters, they think it should have been zero. They protested back in Bosnia.” While he might not have many memories of Bosnia, Talovic speaks fluent Bosnian, enjoys Bosnian music and says he is currently reading books to familiarize himself with Bosnia’s past. Bosnian culture contin-

GREAT ISSUES: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar paid SLU a visit on March 22 to speak about his work post-NBA, as an activist for social justice issues. He has contributed to the growing dialogue on systemic racism in the U.S.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is best known as the 7’2’’ Los Angeles Laker who made the Sky Hook look easy, but that was 27 years ago. Now, Abdul-Jabbar has taken on a new role as an avid writer and works to call attention to the current social justice issues that plague society. He has published articles in the Washington Post and Time magazine, and has made appearances on networks such as MSNBC. He traveled to Saint Louis University on March 22 to speak on both his basketball career and the work that he is currently focusing on, which includes his

new book, “Mycroft Homes.” today. Abdul-Jabbar stressed Throughout his visit, Abthat not only does police dul-Jabbar touched on the brutality need to cease, but issues that also that pertain equality to the St. throughLouis area, out the including justice systhe Black tem is vital Lives Matfor proter movegression. ment. He W h e n expressed asked his how these opinion current on how to events are take the only a consteps to -Kareem Abdul-Jabbar tinu ation end sysof the Civil temic racRights Act ism, Aband therefore portray how dul-Jabbar stated, “We have racial issues that occurred in to make a change by emphathat time are still a problem sizing equal opportunity.

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We have to make a change by emphasizing equal opportunity

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By LEXIE VASOS Sports Editor

That is the only real way to make change, to give everyone the same chance and let the talent of these individuals determine what the outcome will be. I think that is the only way can deal with it in an equitable manner.” Abdul-Jabbar also had some advice for how college students could take part in the direct action necessary for change. “I think college students should read what Dr. King had to say about the future. Of course, he was assassinated in 1968, so we are talking about something that was 50 years ago, but he left See “Kareem” on Page 4

See “BHSA” on Page 4

Learning communities schooled in ethics, art By KENDRA RUETHER Contributor

Michelle Peltier / Saint Louis University

ues to permeate life in St. Louis: Traditional dances have been performed during intermissions at Busch Stadium; festivals showcase food and music; Talovic said a play about Bosnian St. Louisans is being locally produced; and the BosniaHerzegovina soccer team practiced on SLU’s fields in November 2013. (Talovic is an avid fan.) About 50 Bosnian students study at SLU, according to Talovic, adding that “more and more are starting to come.” They now have an organized presence on campus with the Bosnia-Herzegovina Student Association (BHSA), which the Student Government Association approved on March 16. “It’s nice to keep in touch and make connections with people you don’t know. I know my family, but I met a couple people I had no idea existed, so that’s nice. And you get to know their stories, how they came here, what their parents went through,” said Talovic about BHSA. He said that BHSA’s goal is to educate students on why and how their members came to St. Louis, and to share their cultural heritage with students. They hope to meet with President Pestello in the future, but in the meantime, they gather in solidarity. “We had a nice talk with the whole group. It got pretty deep and sad,” said Talovic.

On Wednesday, March 30th, the Learning Community Advisory Board hosted their second LC Ed talk, where faculty members inspired students in the Learning Community program with words on topics like social justice and ethics. The LC Ed Talks take inspiration from TED Talks and aim to spread ideas to Saint Louis University students and help them think outside of their horizons. The SLU Learning Communities are groups of students who live together, take classes together and do service together based on shared interests, like life science, social change or service—to name a few. Faculty are an important part of the LC experience, because every community has a faculty mentor who teaches a class, offers advice and is available to the students. The LC Ed Talks program was created to help the students hear from and form relationships with other faculty members besides the ones involved in their communities. The first speaker of the night, Dr. Scott Berman, an associate philosophy professor at SLU, talked about “A Scientific Explanation of Socrates’ Ethical Truths”. He discussed the nature of ethics and realism versus constructionism. Dr. Berman explained that disagreements that cannot be resolved occur because everyone has different ethical

values, but that “disagreements about scientific truths can be resolved using empirical evidence—no such thing is available with ethical disagreements.” Socrates’ ideas about means and ends were brought up, which lead Dr. Berman to introduce a dizzying concept—that “at the moment you do something, you don’t know if you want to be doing it.” He states that you need the clarity obtained after the action has taken place to know if you truly want something, which is why advice from others is so important. His Ed Talk allowed the LC students to think about the connection of ethics and science in a world that puts science above everything else—even ethics and values. The last speaker, Mrs. Ilene Berman (the wife of Dr. Berman), is a fine arts professor at SLU, who gave an Ed Talk titled “Art Can (and Should) Change the World”. Her talk focused on socially engaged art—art that directly impacts people. Socially engaged art is about talking and listening to the community that the artist is trying to impart change on without taking advantage of, or hurting, the people in it. Mrs. Berman states that these artists want to “change the history of the world, not just the history of art.” The main point is that art should be used to affect change in See “LC Ed” on Page 4

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March 31, 2016

NEWS

Kareem: ‘The captain’ on the court, an advocate of identity often been compared to fellow basketball player Magic Johnson, who was praised by interviewers. But Abdul-Jabbar had a very different outlook on how he portrayed himself throughout his NBA career. â€œâ€Ś I didn’t feel that I had to appease the majority, but there was a certain burden that you felt because in those days, any black American who received any amount of focused attention had to rep-

Continued from Page 3

us with a lot of homework to deal with the political issues and the economic issues that are so intransigent. We still have problems we had when Dr. King was alive and very active, so we still have work to do.� Being an athlete in the 60s and 70s, Abdul-Jabbar was well versed in the racial tensions of his time. He has been labeled by multiple media outlets as “cold� and has

resent all black people. That was an added burden, because if you said something weird or crazy it seemed to reflect on all black people, and some felt that burden more than others. Some people did not care about that at all, and nowadays it does not matter. But in those days, it was interesting in the way that black Americans were seen, and how you internalize that really came across�.

Ong: work on a legendary linguist Continued from Page 3

ders run up against the first law) and are required to ensure their existence, without violating the first two laws – can be applied to the computers used in the student’s research. If a SLU student were to

we’ve placed on the change of linguistic and literary systems over time, and despite how defamiliarizing it often feels to read documents from earlier periods, a large number of words in the English language do not change within a span of two hundred years,� Kersey stressed. “The highest frequency words, in particular, the words that constitute the core of our language, are the least likely to change.� Strickland pointed to additional challenges -Walter Ong, in “Orality and the students faced in Literacy� conducting this type of research. He referenced the three laws of robotics, defined by the aucreate a robot, Strickland thor Isaac Asimov, as an exsaid, the student would proample of how computational gram these laws into the research—however exciting robot. But the idea of “doand groundbreaking—still ing no harm� varies among has its limitations. Asimov’s students; it might be defined laws—which articulate that a as not allowing Strickland robot can never harm a huto binge-watch “House of man, must follow the orders Cards� on his laptop, someof humans (unless such orthing that could be seen as

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Technologies

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is natural to humans.

detrimental to his cognitive health. Similarly, there are limitations to the literary time-period research. Because Strickland and his colleagues are the ones who defined the time epochs for the computer, “we ‌ cannot know what we miss,â€? Strickland stressed. In other words, definition matters; using different criteria would change the scope of the research project. In the end, though, the project – which is entitled “Digital Queries into Early Modern Periodization Schemesâ€? – has given Sawday and the students a chance to examine the connections between technology and literature. “Our project is an exercise in artificial reading,â€? Sawday said. “But that does not mean that it is, in some way, anti-humanist or even antihuman. As Walter Ong said in probably his most famous work, Orality and Literacy, ‌ ‘technologies are artificial, but artificiality is natural to humans.’â€?

Abdul-Jabbar proceeded to discuss other current forms of prejudice and the influence that the media and political figures have on perception. He focused on the misconsception of Islam as a violent religion, but stressed the idea that the Muslims depicted in the media are extremists that do not represent Islam. Abdul-Jabbar commented on Donald Trump, whose

insensitive comments about Islam have made headlines, and how his current political domination reflects society’s attitudes towards minorities. “I think that it says that society is reacting to Mr. Trump in two ways: there is a way that they talk about and a way that they have hidden in their heart. Mr. Trump talks stuff, but he is not a tough guy. He has never personally risked any-

thing, but he talks all this tough talk. I think that’s a sign of someone you need to be careful about.� Abdul-Jabbar’s dynamic interview embodied the wisdom of a man who has internalized the lessons of decades of experience with social issues. Not only has he made his mark in the basketball realm, but he is spreading his knowledge in a legacy that aims to make tomorrow a better place than today.

Continued from Page 3

Continued from Page 3

the world and should always be viewed with a critical eye because every choice an artist makes has a purpose. The LC Ed Talks were a successful event for the learning communities, with over 100 students in attendance. While there are no more of these talks planned for this year, the LC Advisory Board plans on offering them next year to anyone who wants to attend – not just LC members. The LC Ed Talks spread new ideas to the students. Katie Kane, a Learning Community RA, said that, “They broadened my perspective, in that they helped me to see ways we can take action towards social justice in techniques that are different than traditional avenues.� Make sure to look out for the LC Ed Talks coming next year so that you, too, can broaden your perspectives.

Sadness, even trauma, lies at the heart of Bosnian American experience. Last year, The University News interviewed Laura KromjĂĄk, a Hungarian Ph.D. student whose dissertation focuses on the Anglophone narrative of Bosnian genocide trauma. At that time, KromjĂĄk was a visiting fellow at the Center for International Studies. “I feel very connected to these people,â€? she said, referring to the Croatian and Serbian populations of southern Hungary, although she interacted heavily with the Bosnian population in St. Louis. While she could not immediately fulfill a request for comment on the KaradĹžić verdict, KromjĂĄk, who is now back in Hungary, said that she is going to Sarajevo, Bosnia’s capital, next week for a weeklong stay. “I am interested in reactions to Karadzic’s conviction in Bosnia myself,â€? she

wrote. While KromjĂĄk’s research, which she presented during her time at SLU, focuses on what she called “transgenerational trauma,â€? she stressed a hope-fueled unity within the Bosnian community, one to which Talovic attested. “My parents, they went through a lot ‌ We’re all here for the same reasons, we all have that connection,â€? he said. He explained that BHSA is going to Jefferson City for Bosnia Day to meet and speak with politicians. The group will also take part in Atlas Week Events: “Diaspora and Identity: The Case of the Bosniansâ€? and “A Look into a Bosnian American College Student’s Lifeâ€? on April 6 (“Most of our members are just going to speak about how they came here, what it’s like to be here,â€? Talovic said of the latter), and a “Roundtable on Health Outcomes of the Bosnian Population in St. Louisâ€? on April 7.

LC Ed: Faculty insights

Topping out ceremony

After the ‘topping out’ ceremony was postponed this February, the new residence hall at the corner of Spring and Laclede, slated to open for students this fall semester, was crowned with a green roof on Tuesday, March 29.

Enjoy all that Chicago has to offer this summer while taking a class to lighten your load for the fall. " + ! ! + &' * $" Cuneo Mansion and Gardens (Vernon Hills, IL) Retreat and Ecology Campus (Woodstock, IL) + "$ %& " "'$% % ! &" !$" ( % & LUC.edu/summer.

Ryan Quinn / Photo Editor

UNews

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Arts Entertainment

March 31, 2016 arts@unewsonline.com Tess Brock, Arts Editor Natalie Riopelle, Assoc. Arts Editor

The Wild Feathers bring spirited soul to STL stage

Courtesy of Frank Maddocks

NEW: The Wild Feathers are curently on the road with their new album “Lonely Is a Lifetime,� ending their tour in Nashville.

Returning to St. Louis’ Old Rock House for the fourth time on March 26, 2016, the four-piece alternative rock band The Wild Feathers electrified the stage following their opening band Liz Cooper and the Stampede, which featured Liz Cooper (vocals, guitar),

By TODD JOHNSON Contributor

From start to finish, “10 Cloverfield Lane� will keep you guessing at every turn: from the motives of its characters to the very conflict of the film. Starting quickly, we see our protagonist, Michelle (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), get run off the road in an unexpectedly vicious car accident. She wakes up to find herself chained to the wall in a dank, concrete room. From the beginning, the situation seems inescapable, as Michelle struggles to reach her phone only to find that any signal is out of reach. Soon after, John Goodman’s character, Howard, appears, ominously revealing that he brought Michelle into his underground bunker to keep her safe from an unknown disaster. Michelle’s untrusting nature and Howard’s entitled and controlling mannerisms make the audience question whether there is any truth to what Howard described outside the bunker. This mystery turns out to be the driving force and highlight of the film. What should Michelle be more afraid of, the dangers outside or Howard? This movie deftly draws upon the idea that fear should be of the people around us, or of even ourselves. This psychological thriller simultaneously has a hold of our attention and makes us desperately want to look away, not only out of fear, but also out of an emotional connection developed with the characters early on. Throughout, Michelle proves to be a strong-willed,

Ky Baker (drums) and Grant Prettyman (guitar). The Wild Feathers, a Nashvillebased group comprised of Joel King on bass and vocals, Ricky Young on guitar and vocals, Taylor Burns on guitar and vocals, and Ben Dumas on drums, released their hit-filled sophomore album “Lonely Is a Lifetime� (Warner Bros.), about two weeks ago. Sharing the stage with

untrusting heroine who from the beginning won’t lie down and die. It strongly contrasts with the helplessness of her situation: being trapped in a small bunker with a man who has both the keys and the answers. Emmett (John Gallagher Jr.), the third and final main character, provides some comic relief early on, but we soon find his light-hearted nature is shadowed by a self-

This movie deftly draws upon the idea that fear should be of the people around us, or even ourselves.

“

By CHANDANA KAMARAJ Staff Writer

destructive streak. Despite supporting Michelle with his company, he is unable to answer her questions. In the confined space of the bunker, unsure of Howard’s true intentions, Emmett’s character gives a sense of comfort to Michelle and the audience. “10 Cloverfield Lane� shadows the audience in the claustrophobia and fear felt by its protagonist. The terror of Howard, a large, exNavy farmer, creeps into our hearts as we hear his first lines of dialogue. He chastises Michelle for her lack of gratitude and explains how he snooped through her purse because he felt he had the right. After all, he saved her life, right? This sense of entitlement, control and emotional manipulation uncomfortably intensifies throughout the film. This

legends like Bob Dylan, Gary Clark, Jr. and Willie Nelson, The Wild Feathers began their tour this year in Dallas and continued in Austin, Texas, at this year’s South by Southwest festival. Their rich and spirited soul music carried all the way to St. Louis and simply kept their crowd dancing the whole night. The audience, filled with music lovers who

fear doubles with the uncertainty of the validity of Howard’s narrative and the mystery of if he actually did save Michelle from the terrible fate of being left outside the bunker, or if he had simply kidnapped her and fed her a clever lie to keep her guessing. Each actor’s performance was outstanding, with John Goodman creating an unsettling and dominating presence in the confined space of the bunker. With unaware, socially isolating dialogue, he flits between severe and childish remarks, making the audience question his very sanity. Winstead quietly portrays a quick-thinking and determined woman who is ever wary of the dangers surrounding her. Although being strong from the start, Michelle becomes an even more resolute and inspiring character throughout the film. John Gallagher Jr. gives off a friendly, farm-boy vibe that brings a balance to the struggle for survival in what, without him, would be an unbearably disturbing movie. Regardless, his character is far from static, and with the help of Michelle, he starts to question what he previously regarded as truth. The simple premise of “10 Cloverfield Lane� allows for the emotions and fears of its characters to guide the story to a dark, unsettling place. Certainly not your typical horror movie, this film’s fright is derived from a very real and relatable conflict. I highly suggest you go out and see this movie as soon as possible without any other research, because uncertainty is undoubtedly the best part of the ride.

are avid fans of the band, as well as those new to this upand-coming group, were not disappointed. The crowd started screaming after the fourpiece band came up on stage with a pianist and percussionist. The band excited the audience with a bang with “Backwoods Company,� from their self-titled debut album, The Wild Feathers, a performance that proved

their strengths as rock n’ roll performers with strong percussion and flawless guitar solos, both of which kept the audience jumping up and down throughout. After a few more similar numbers, The Wild Feathers introduced their newest album with the title song, “Lonely Is a Lifetime�. The band effortlessly navigated through this beautiful ballad, which consists of graceful harmonies tapping into the bluesy country tunes that Nashville is best known for – a contrast from the pieces performed before. The band kept the audience energized throughout as they went through their album, which consisted of many catchy, sing-along numbers apt for radio. The album is focused, but also encompasses blues, folk, country, rock and alternative. Other hits throughout the concert consisted of “Overnight,� “Happy Again,� and “Sleepers� - songs that sound a lot like early Coldplay and Young the Giant. Ricky Young kept the audience engaged by checking-in in between songs, frequently thanking the whole crowd for being there and supporting them. They then let the crowd sing a few verses from the set list and showed their talent as they added freestyle

guitar solos. The fact that the band was able to stay interactive and keep the crowd engaged with passion was the highlight of the concert– it shows that the band is fun, outgoing and simply wants to show other people the power of music. Three songs before the end, Young said that they were going to do something different. Instead of playing an encore, they played two more songs and then, with the last song, they electrified the stage as they brought Liz Cooper back onstage to sing with them. They went absolutely crazy here and sang as loud as they could. Before this, they played their charttopper hit “The Ceiling,� with touching lyrics. After three years away, The Wild Feathers come back strong with their sophomore album, an album with memorable melodies and harmonies, founded on songs such as “Help Me Out,� which is infused with rich influences. Even with many of the album’s elements being very loud, like a typical rock n’ roll album, the melodies definitely stick with you at the end. More than simply listening to their album though, it is a delight watching them onstage, as they will make you constantly sing along.

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6

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

March 31, 2016

OUT On The

By TOM BERGAN Senior Staff Writer

TOWn

If you were asked to describe the genre of metalcore to a person who had never heard any music from within the genre, it would be incredibly difficult. The genre, as a whole, is an enigma, stuck somewhere in between metal and hardcore punk, but not having enough traits of either to be pooled into either genre. In addition, it incorporates elements that are not present in either of those two previously mentioned genres. Metalcore has prevalent synthesizers and vocals that are often high pitched and clean sounding, in addition to screaming that is occasional but not as evident as in other, similar genres. One band that could exemplify metalcore is Hands Like Houses. The Australian group released their third full-length album, “Dissonants�, last month, an album of 12 incredibly solid songs, with a few massive standouts as well. The dynamic range that is often found in metalcore is present in the album opener, “I Am.� The song presents a quickly running bass line that establishes a sense of urgency, while also showcasing singer Trenton Woodley’s vocals, which sound like a hybrid between Fall Out Boy’s Patrick Stump and A Day to Remember’s Jeremy McKinnon. The synthesizer soars, but nothing overshadows the drums that are fit to echo throughout an arena. The song is a perfect opener to the album, packing a full punch to the listener right from the get-go. It also showcases the wide-ranging sound that is

ArTs ediTOrs’ Picks

Music Doctor Delia Duck Room at Blueberry Hill March 31, 7:00 p.m. Wale and Hoodie Allen Chaifetz Arena April 1, 8:00 p.m. Judah & The Lion with The Saint Johns Off Broadway April 5, 7:00 p.m. Ezra Furman and Sleepy Kitty The Demo April 7, 7:30 p.m. Neon Indian with Dropkick The Robot The Ready Room April 10, 7:00 p.m.

Movies Hello, My Name is Doris In theaters Currently 10 Cloverfield Lane In theaters Currently

Courtesy of Hands Like Houses

METALCORE: Hands like Houses released their third full-length album, “Dissonants,� last month. Starting in April, the band will be embarking on a North American tour, playing in St. Louis at the Fubar on May 11. present throughout the entire album. The next standout track is “Colourblind,� with its authentic Australian spelling and fantastically catchy chorus that has Woodley giving his all, singing “We’re colourblind from the black and white.� The song then takes a dark turn in the bridge and has the heaviest breakdown seen on the album, one that comes out of nowhere and showcases a darker and more intense sound that would benefit from being present throughout more of the album. The sound that Hands Like Houses creates does not have too much room for variation, and yet the band

does a great job of expanding borders at every chance possible on “Dissonants.� The best example of this is found on “Glasshouse,� a track that expands on the themes present in “I Am.� The bass sounds as if it were a funk line that got lost and somehow ended up in the song, whereas the drums are fit for a Metallica-esque band and the guitar riff could be right at home in a thrash-punk group. Woodley’s vocals tie this conglomerate of noises together to somehow pull off a sound that many others would fail at. My personal favorite song on the album is “Degrees of Separation.� This song strays from the path

CREIGHTON UNIVERSITY

City of Gold In theaters Currently

Spotlight Tivoli Theatre Currently

Theater 2 Cellos Fabulous Fox March 31 Old Wicked Songs New Jewish Theater Through April 3

Satchel Paige and the Kansas City Swing The Repertory Theatre of St. Louis Through April 10 Bill Burr Fabulous Fox Through April 22

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Offering 60+ online classes, and over 300 on-campus classes to choose from

no surprise if this album gives the band the boost they need to become the leading band within their scene, pushing others to follow their lead and take chances with the sound that they create. The band embarks on a North American tour starting in April with Enter Shikari, another band that both stretches the limits and consistently innovates the sound of metalcore. When the tour hits the Fubar on May 11, you would be foolish to skip out on it. The show guarantees to showcase two of the best bands in the genre, and Hands Like Houses’ set should have no shortage of the best tracks from “Dissonants.�

‘Hello, My Name is Doris’ delivers authentic charm By NATALIE RIOPELLE Associate Arts Editor

Zootopia Landmark Plaza Frontenac Currently

The Bridges of Madison County: The Broadway Musical Chaifetz Arena April 5-17

of the majority of the other songs, trading in the heavy drops for a more lighthearted approach, with a chorus that edges on bouncy at times. It is a track that might not make you want to mosh and hit somebody, but it most definitely will have you wanting to bounce up and down with excitement while screaming along with the lyrics. As someone who is not a massive fan of what metalcore usually has to offer, I found myself not only appreciating, but enjoying the music that Hands Like Houses created for “Dissonants,� both “Degrees of Separation� as well as the album as a whole. It would be

I’m a pretty big fan of disliking things, and I’ve accumulated quite a list of things to dislike. Sharing. Walking up stairs. Telling my parents where I’m going. Romantic comedies. Pineapple. Of course, the list goes on, but I’ll spare you the rest—it’s a long one. Now, I’ve taken a bit of crap for my dislike—dare I say, hatred—of romantic comedies, but, like my indiscriminant loathing of Quentin Tarantino, I stand by my feelings. Thankfully, “Hello, My Name is Doris� had its share of romance (be it semi-one-sided and borderline bizarre) and more than a little comedy, but, sure as I hate the color mustard yellow, it was not a romantic comedy. And that’s probably why I liked it so much. Two time Academy Award winner Sally Field plays Doris Miller, a middleaged woman with a quirky sense of fashion and bit of a hording habit, who develops a crush on John Fremont (Max Greenfield), a new co-worker and a much, much younger man. The film then watches little Doris – prompted by a desire to endear herself to young Mr. Fremont and, perhaps subconsciously, adapt to the recent loss of her mother – come into her own. Having lived with and taken care of her mother for decades, Doris’s transition into life after her passing is not an easy one. It is made more difficult by a brotherand sister-in-law who seek to hurry that transition along by forcing her to de-

clutter her burgeoning house. In the face of these changes, Doris relies on her best friend, Roz (Tyne Daly), for support. It is Roz who brings Doris to a self-help seminar, wherein Doris finds the inspiration to woo her handsome new colleague. With the help of Roz’s granddaughter Vivian (Isabella Acres), Doris begins her pursuit while entering into the terrifying young adult realm of Facebook, EDM and “Never Have I Ever�—learning a bit about herself along the way. The thing that makes the movie so enjoyable is that it isn’t just one thing. It it’s not just Doris pursuing a hunk or Doris allowing herself to let go and move forward, it’s both — along with a sneaky little commentary on today’s culture as well (#tight #nooneusespencilsanymore #atwhatpointdowebecomeparodiesofourselves?). I left the theater feeling sad—that type of sadness that comes after you’ve learned something you weren’t yet prepared to know. Don’t worry, though, because it was a satisfied sort of sadness, the honest kind of sadness, and that’s just what I want in a movie. If I’m not a strange bundle of confused solemnity and hope at the end of a movie, then that movie just couldn’t have been very good (yep, you know you’re in this group “The Notebook�). Because, if there’s anything I like less than romcoms, it’s what they’re made out of: emotional dishonesty. Thankfully, none was to be found with Sally Field leading the way in “Hello, My Name is Doris,� a movie that shows us that change never stops being scary, but proves that that might just be okay.

UNews

Sports

For continued multimedia coverage of Billiken sporting events, visit unewsonline.com or follow us on Twitter @TheUNewsSports

March 31, 2016 sports@unewsonline.com Lexie Vasos, Sports Editor Lauren Tondl, Assoc. Sports Editor

Women’s basketball endures heartbreaking loss in Sweet Sixteen

By LAUREN TONDL Associate Sports Editor

The women’s basketball team ended their season on a high note as they competed in the Women’s National Invitation Tournament, making it all the way to the third round before losing a heartbreaker in overtime to Western Kentucky, 78-76. SLU faced their first opponent, Little Rock, on March 17 at Chaifetz. They won 70-69, cutting it close after having a 70-63 lead with 2:45 left to play in the fourth quarter. Play started out tight in the first quarter, with both teams exchanging no more than a two-point lead for a majority of the quarter. SLU trailed going into the second quarter, 14-10. The second quarter proved to be just as trying for the Billikens. Little Rock’s upper hand did not faze SLU, though, and the women continued to stay hot on their heels. Little Rock’s biggest lead came at the halfway mark in the quarter, 27-20, but SLU got back in it with a three-pointer from freshman guard Jordyn Frantz. Little Rock took another big lead later in the quarter, but SLU ended the half only three points behind, trailing 33-30. Their bench was crucial in the second quarter, bringing in 13 of their 20 points for the period. The women came out hot in the third quarter, taking their first lead since the first quarter. Layups from sophomore guard Aaliyah Covington and junior cen-

ter Sadie Stipanovich pulled the Billikens ahead, 34-33. But the lead was brief when Little Rock went on a 7-1 run to edge to the front, 42-35, at the seven-minute mark. Sophomore guard Jackie Kemph used her offensive prowess to bring the Billikens back to their feet. She scored seven of the Bills’ 14 points in the remainder of the third quarter, giving her team a lead going into the final quarter of play, 49-48. Kemph inspired the rest of her team to close out the game in the fourth quarter, helping SLU score 21 total points in the 10 minutes of play. SLU secured a 70-63 lead in the last few minutes of the game and stayed calm on their home court to close out the game, 70-69, and secure a place in the second round. The women were able to stay at home for their second round game on March 21, coming behind in the fourth corner again to defeat Ball State, 59-55. The Billikens trailed early, allowing Ball State to get on the board first, withholding the lead until the 3:39 minute mark. The first quarter ended in a tie, 9-9. SLU could not get on the board until four minutes into the second quarter, conceding a 15-9 deficit to Ball State. A lone free throw from sophomore guard Jenny Vliet and a layup from Covington provided a bit of a spark, but the Billikens appeared out of sync. However, just when they appeared to be defeated for the half, they turned things around and went on an 11-5 run to

pull out the lead going into halftime, 23-22. Points were exchanged early in the third quarter, and the women were suddenly facing a five-point deficit. Sophomore forward Maddison Gits finally put one in, followed by one from senior guard Jamesia Price and a layup from Kemph, but Ball State continued to press, taking a 35-31 lead. SLU would then claw back to close the quarter ahead, 37-36. A three pointer from Ball State took the wind out of SLU’s sails, followed by a pair of free throws. Both teams exchanged baskets until they were at 50-50, with three minutes left to play. Kemph and Stipanovich each scored on back-to-back possessions to seal the lead for SLU. Free throws carried the Bills through the rest to prevail, 59-55. Unfortunately, the women could not string three together as they fell to Western Kentucky in the third round on March 25. The Billikens had an astonishing start to the game, with a 10-0 deficit within the first three minutes. Despite the early shortcomings, an impressive 18-8 run put the Bills back in the game. This swing in momentum was crucial for the Billikens’ second quarter. Stipanovich kept the offense going with two layups. SLU dominated and had the advantage at intermission, 38-30. Vliet sank a three-pointer 13 seconds into the third quarter, giving SLU the push needed to put together a full 10 minutes. Western

Saint Louis Athletics

UNFORGETABLE: The Billiken’s record-breaking season came to an end after a buzzer beating three-pointer gave Western Kentucky a 78-76 edge over SLU in the Sweet Sixteen. Kentucky inched their way back into the game, coming within five. Western Kentucky sprung a 6-0 run on them until the two-minute mark, and SLU held a slim two-point lead. Kemph and Vliet each had baskets to save them at the end, and SLU held strong with a 5249 lead. Western Kentucky made it clear they were not going to go down without a fight in the final ten minutes. The first four minutes of play resulted in a 59-57 Billiken lead. Gits and Kemph made some vital free throws to keep the lead for their team, 62-59, with four minutes left in the game. The tide turned, as Western Kentucky went on a 6-0 run to take the final lead of the game. SLU appeared

to be their normal selves, though, and went on a spurt at the end of the quarter to regain the lead, but they could only muster a tie at the end of regulation, forcing overtime at 69 apiece. Western Kentucky broke the tie first, drawing ahead, 71-69. Kemph drew a foul at the halfway mark, making a free throw. Kemph found the basket a minute later to give SLU their first lead of the overtime period, 72-71. Western Kentucky answered and took the lead, 75-74. SLU took a timeout with 15 seconds left to play. Junior forward Olivia Jacubicek successfully put in a shot with one second left, and it appeared the Billikens had pulled off another amazing comeback. Western Kentucky used

a time out to scrounge up a last-minute play. The improbable happened, and they put in a three-pointer off the inbound pass to steal the lead from SLU as well as a ticket to the quarterfinals, finishing 78-76. What may appear as a sad end to the season yields a large amount of positivity and anticipation for next year’s season. SLU concluded the season at 26-8, the best in program history. They won the conference in a three-way tie with a 13-3 record. They had a home record of 14-1. With an A-10 player of the year and coach of the year returning next season, the Billikens have everything to look forward to and will continue to push the envelope to progress this program past its limits.

Softball starts A-10 play against St. Bonaventure, wins two By LEXIE VASOS Sports Editor

The Saint Louis University softball team traveled to Kansas for the Rock Chalk Challenge. The Bills faced UMKC, who scored four unearned runs in the bottom of the fourth inning. SLU threatened to retaliate in the fifth by loading the bases, but were unable to take advantage of the scoring opportunity. UMKC scored again early in the sixth. SLU could not shift the momentum in their favor and fell 5-0. On March 20, the Bills played Tulsa and took an early 2-0 lead after senior pitcher Brianna Lore walked with the bases loaded and sophomore infielder Allie Macfarlane sacrificed a fly. Tulsa scored three runs in the second, one in the third and, fifth and two in the sixth and seventh to defeat the Billikens 9-2. In their second matchup of the day, the Bills versed Kansas, who pitched a no hitter and upended the Billikens 9-0. The Jayhawks recorded three runs in the fourth, four in the fifth and two in the sixth. SLU went on to host DePaul on March 22. DePaul plated two runs in the top of the first inning, but junior

CHEER

outfielder Mackenzie Peter hit a two-out solo home run into left field to make the score 2-1. Junior first baseman Emma Buckles hit a RBI triple in the third to even the score. The Blue Demons scored twice in the fifth, and once in the sixth to make it 5-2. SLU scored once on an error, and Peter’s hit a single in the sixth to make the deficit a single run. DePaul extended their lead in the seventh and finished the game with a 6-4 victory over SLU. The Billikens hosted St. Bonaventure in a doubleheader on March 25. In the first matchup, the Bonnies got on the board early with an unearned run in the top of the first inning. The Bills responded with three runs in the bottom of the frame thanks to a three-run home run from Peter. In the bottom of the fourth, SLU scored four unearned runs with two outs. The first error occurred with the bases loaded, then Macfarlane was walked with bases loaded, and finally sophomore infielder Alyssa Tarquinio capped the inning with a hit a two-run single. Although the Bonnies tallied an unearned run in the sixth, they were unable to recover and the Bills defeated the Bonnies 7-2. Lore struck out a season-high nine bat-

JEER

Saint Louis Athletics

SWING: Senior pitcher Brianna Lore hovers over the plate. SLU won two-of-three games verses St. Bonaventure. ters, earned her fifth win of the season, and did not allow any earned runs. Peter hit her ninth home run of the season. During the second game, the Bonnies took an early 2-0 lead with a single home run and a sacrifice fly. St. Bonaventure extended their lead to 3-0 in the fifth before SLU was able to get on the board with a RBI from Lore. Although the Bills had two runners on base in the sixth

and seventh innings, they were unable to bring them home and fell to the Bonnies 3-1. SLU hosted St. Bonaventure again on March 26. The Bonnies took a commanding 4-0 lead after scoring two runs in the first, one a single in the second, and one in the sixth. The Bills responded in the fourth when Lore singled See “Softball” on Page 8

FEAR

WHO TO CHEER: USMNT The United States Men’s National Team played a crucial Olympic qualifying match on March 29, against Guatemala. USMNT defeated Guatemala 4-0 and extended their home qualifying record to 7-0-0. The team hopes to take the momentum from this convincing win to their next qualifying match.

BY LEXIE VASOS, SPORTS EDITOR WHO TO JEER: DUNCAN KEITH Chicago Blackhawk Duncan Keith was ejected and suspended indefinitely on March 29 after hitting Minnesota Wild player Charlie Coyle in the face with a stick. Keith was knocked to the ice by Coyle with just over nine minutes left in the first period. The suspected multigame suspension, and play, will be reviewed by the NHL.

WHO TO FEAR: BREANNA STEWART University of Connecticut forward Breanna Stewart was unanimously named an AP All-American. This accolade makes her the sixth women’s player to make three All-American teams. Stewart has helped her team to 73 straight wins and 22 straight NCAA Tournament wins. Stewart carried her team to the 2016 Final Four.

8

March 31, 2016

SPORTS

This week in sports Tweet of the week @nytimes

The NFL’s concussion research was far more flawed than previously understood.

Scores from the week

Welcome, Coach Ford Travis Ford was officially named the new SLU men’s basketball coach on March 30, 2016. Ford most recently coached at Oklahoma State and has prior ties to the A-10 and the University of Missouri. Ford is known for his recruiting skills, something SLU has been criticized for lately.

Playing career Point guard for: University of Missouri - 1989-1990 University of Kentucky - 1991-94

Head Coaching Experience

Women’s Basketball Thursday, Mar. 17 Little Rock Billikens

69 70

Monday, Mar. 21 Ball State Billikens

55 59

Friday, Mar. 25 Western Kentucky Billikens

78 76

Softball Saturday, Mar. 19 UMKC Billikens

5 0

Sunday, Mar. 20 Tulsa Billikens

9 2

Kansas Billikens

9 0

Tuesday, Mar. 22 DePaul Billikens

6 4

Friday, Mar. 25 St. Bonaventure Billikens

2 7

St. Bonaventure Billikens

3 1

Saturday, Mar. 26 St. Bonaventure Billikens

5 6

Player of the week Mackenzie Peter Softball

Campbellsville University - 1997-2000 Eastern Kentucky University - 2000-2005 University of Massachusettes - 2005-2008 Oklahoma State - 2008-2016

Notable Numbers 15 - Number of assists in a single game, a Kentucky record that still stands for players in their senior year. 101 - Number of three-pointers in a single season, a Kentucky record at the time, currently third all-time. 50 - Consecutive free throws made, a Kentucky record. 88.19 - Free throw percentage, third all-time at Kentucky. 1993 - Most Outstanding Player in the Southeast Region of the NCAA Tournament. 2007- A-10 regular season champions at UMass. 331-244 - Overall coaching record (0.586 winning percentage). 6 - NCAA Tournament appearances as a coach.

Aspiring Actor? After a stint in the NBA and before coaching, Ford appeared in the movie, “The Sixth Man,” playing Danny O’Grady. Source: IMDB

Softball canceled due to weather Continued from Page 7

Billiken Media Relations

Junior outfielder Mackenzie Peter notched four hits, three runs, and a threerun home run in SLU’S series against St. Bonaventure on March 25 and 26 to help the Billikens win the series, 2-1. She currently leads the league in home runs with nine, slugging percentage with .825, and total bases with 66. Peter is second in RBIs with 22, doubles with nine, and runs with 25. She has the 11th best batting average in the Atlantic-10 with an average of .350. She even has her name on the national rankings, landing in 20th for home runs per game with .33. Peter and the softball team face La Salle on April 2 and 3.

to bring home Peter, who doubled. St. Bonaventure scored again in the fifth, but the Bills went on a scoring frenzy and tied the game at five runs apiece. Junior catcher Hailey Weavers got the Bills motivated with her first home run of the season. Buckles brought in a runner off a single to make the score 5-3. Senior third baseman Elizabeth Everingham helped tie the game with a two-run single. In the bottom of the seventh, Nickel led off with her

second walk of the game, advanced to second on a sacrifice from Buckles, and scored on Everingham’s line shot to left field. The Bills successfully defeated St. Bonaventure 6-5 in a wild comeback. The Billikens were scheduled to play no. 15 Missouri on March 30 in a doubleheader, but the game was canceled due to impending rain conditions. The games will not be rescheduled. SLU will travel to Philadelphia to play La Salle on April 2 & 3 before taking on Dayton in Ohio on April 6.

Games this week , April 1

, April 2

Saint Louis Athletics

FOR THE WIN: Third baseman Elizabeth Everingham cheers with her teammates as SLU defeats St. Bonaventure.

By CASEY WAUGHN Managing Editor

&

UNews

Opinions Editorials

March 31, 2016 opinion@unewsonline.com Kyle Smith, Opinion Editor

Editorials are opinion pieces written by the Editorial Board of The University News. The editorials printed in this space represent the opinion of The University News. Commentaries and Letters to the Editor represent the opinions of the signed authors, but do not necessarily represent the opinions of The University News.

Letters

SLU: Best, west of the Mississippi

The University News reserves the right not to publish any letters that are deemed intentionally and/or inappropriately inflammatory, more than the 300-word limit or unsigned by the original author. The following are letters and/or website comments. Because the identities of website posters cannot be verified, all website comments should be treated as anonymous. Actual letters to the editor may be submitted online at unewsonline.com or e-mailed to opinion@unewsonline.com. Please include your cell phone number.

With April 1 just around the corner, some high school seniors may still be unsure of where they want to go. In light of this, we have decided to provide some aid to the undecided by providing our own official college rankings. After a long, meticulous decision process, the University News Editorial Board is pleased to announce that our top selection for the Best University in America is … Saint Louis University. Now, some observant readers may notice that this just so happens to be the school that we currently attend. While this may seem to have been deliberate, or even conspiratorial, we assure you this is not an endorsement we give freely. Our decision was based on a set of objective, wholly unbiased criteria, such as admission standards, student-teacher ratio, relative distance to the nearest Rally’s, number of naked statues on campus and amount of money saved by not paying adjuncts. In nearly every metric we tested, SLU emerged on top.

Still unconvinced? Perhaps SLU’s role as a history maker might change your mind. Founded in 1818, SLU is the oldest university west of the Mississippi. The school also boasts the oldest medical and law schools west of the Mississippi. But that’s not all. Did you know that in 1906, SLU threw the first-ever forward pass in football, west of the Mississippi? Or that in 1944, SLU became the first university to admit AfricanAmericans in a former slave state, west of the Mississippi? Even as recently as last year, SLU was home to historic oncampus protests following the death of Michael Brown — an event that sparked what some have called the most important civil rights movement of the modern era, west of the Mississippi. SLU is located in downtown St. Louis. As a mid-sized, industrial city, St. Louis lacks both the charm of a small town and the conveniences of a larger, livelier metropolis. Unlike most urban campuses, parking at SLU is never an issue; with car-jackings regu-

larly occurring nearby, simply leave your car running in the street and someone will gladly take it off your hands for you. The city even has an arch! SLU’s current president, Dr. Pestello, has proven to an unexpected boon for the school. He has engaged students by cheering on the Billikens at basketball games, walking around campus during the week and memorizing the name, major, class schedule and eating habits of each of SLU’s 13,287 students. Always understanding of the stresses that his students undergo, he has even made it an annual tradition to personally walk around the library and distribute free, homemade cookies to students before each and every tuition hike. The student population at SLU is incredibly diverse. Spend just a few minutes walking around our campus, and you’ll find that Billikens hail from all over: from the inner city of Chicago to nearly three hours outside of Chicago. If you haven’t heard, athletics are huge at SLU, no

matter the season. In the fall, students all across campus show their Billiken pride every Saturday by tuning in and rooting for the football team of the college all their friends back home go to. Every winter, without fail, the student body rallies behind the men’s basketball team in hopes of a successful year, and every spring, without fail, they blow it. Perhaps the most notable feature of SLU is its unique mascot. The Billiken is an ancient, St. Louis-region good luck symbol that traces its origins back to 1908, when SLU’s athletic department decided the school needed something to put on the sweatshirts. The figure’s undergone a number of facelifts over the years, resembling everything from a devilish imp, to an impish devil, to a fat leprechaun. But true SLU fans will always take comfort in knowing that beneath the changes is the same old Billy: a knowing, sinister smirk perpetually frozen onto his chubby face in a constant, unnerving state of winking. Go Bills!

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‘Hello, My Name is Doris’ [is] a movie that shows us that change never stops being scary, but proves that that might just be okay. Natalie Riopelle, associate arts editor, page 6

We have to make a change by emphasizing equal opportunity Kareem Abdul-Jabar, former athlete, page 3

Could we, we wondered, train a computer to spot anachronistic texts — texts that are in the wrong place at the wrong time? Jonathan Sawday, English professor, page 3

Editors share their favorite things about spring Spring is in the air. The flowers are blooming, the bees are buzzing, and the college students are ... what, exactly? We asked our editorial board to find out what everyone had planned for the springtime. Here is what everyone had to say: Paul: Every spring, I’m always surprised to watch the trees grow leaves, the birds sing and the grass lose its brown, winter tinge. It’s as if the winter makes me forget that being outside can actually be a pleasant experience. I like to enjoy the outdoors during the spring, and I would recommend checking out Forest Park and eating at some of the

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great restaurants in the Central West End, many of which have outdoor seating areas. Casey: My favorite thing about spring is that it actually stays light outside past 5 p.m. That being said, I love to enjoy the longer days by going on runs in Forest Park, or sitting on a patio enjoying happy hour margaritas and apps with my girlfriends in the Central West End. Tim: I knew spring had arrived when I saw the horde of five hundred black birds scattered across my backyard, littering the trees and emitting their desolate call of the cruel Darwinian imperative. When they took flight, their

collective movement gave a rushing pulse through the air. I stared longingly after them, wishing only to join them and leave this cruel wingless existence. They gradually moved away from me. I continued to watch. I waited. They passed on. And I was left with only my empty morning mind. Such is life. Happy spring! Emily: Every spring I always take the time to smell the SLUlips. There is nothing quite like the rustling in one’s hair whilst swinging in a hammock, reading The New Yorker. It’s cute. I also like to do other really cute things, like crafting crowns out daisies and selling them on Etsy.

The April showers allow me to walk around in the rain with a somber expression and a pouty lip, holding my floral umbrella as the Dawson’s Creek theme song (AKA ‘I don’t to wait’ by Paula Cole) plays in the background. I also like to brunch. A lot. With mimosas. A lot of mimosas. Confession: it’s only mimosas. But really, what would a breezy brunch al fresco be nothing without an eggs benny? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Alex: By far, my favorite spring-time activity is walking the old, beautiful streets of St. Louis, enjoying the fresh, crisp air of a new year,

all while watching the passerbys. From the older couples walking their dogs, the the bikers who insist at biking 20 miles per hour in the middle of the road like a freakin car, to the new birds and squirrels adorning the trees, to the bikers blowing through stop signs and traffic likes like they aren’t cars any more, to the new ma and pop taking baby out for its first stroller ride, to bikers swerving across three lanes to make a left turn from the right side of the road, like the pavement was built for them -- all of it is just beautiful. Mack: Stuffy nose? Watery eyes? Surprise, it’s spring! Wondering how to spend this

THE UNIVERSITY NEWS 2015-16 EDITORIAL BOARD EDITOR-IN-CHIEF PAUL BRUNKHORST eic@unewsonline.com

SPORTS EDITOR LEXIE VASOS sports@unewsonline.com

ONLINE EDITOR MEREDITH HARGIS webmaster@unewsonline.com

MANAGING EDITOR CASEY WAUGHN managing@unewsonline.com

ASSOC. SPORTS EDITOR LAUREN TONDL sports@unewsonline.com

PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR RYAN QUINN photos@unewsonline.com

NEWS EDITOR TIM WILHELM news@unewsonline.com

ARTS EDITOR TESS BROCK arts@unewsonline.com

COPY EDITOR ALEX HANEL copy@unewsonline.com

ASSOC. NEWS EDITOR EMILY HIGGINBOTHAM news@unewsonline.com

ASSOC. ARTS EDITOR NATALIE RIOPELLE arts@unewsonline.com

COPY EDITOR MACK KORRIS copy@unewsonline.com

OPINION EDITOR KYLE SMITH opinion@unewsonline.com

ILLUSTRATOR SOPHIE LAPPE design@unewsonline.com

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Sophie Lappe / Design Editor

Quotes of the Week

GENERAL MANAGER SANJAY SEETHARAMAN gm@unewsonline.com ADVISOR MICHELLE PELTIER advisor@unewsonline.com

THE EDITORIAL BOARD OF THE UNIVERSITY NEWS RECOGNIZES AVIS MEYER, PH.D., AS THE NEWSPAPER’S FACULTY MENTOR.

St. Louis spring? How about checking out Lone Elk Park and Castlewood State Park, two of St. Louis County’s underrated outdoor parks? Strolling through Antique Row on Cherokee Street? Or unleashing your inner child at the City Museum? Kyle: Spring is a time of rebirth, renewal, rejuvenation. As such, I plan to spend this spring like I do every spring: enjoying the outdoors, hunting for Easter eggs, eagerly awaiting the Second Coming of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who will return to rain hellfire upon the wicked and nonbelievers, and, spring cleaning!

“Freedom of the press—print, online and broadcast—is a basic right in a democratic society and is valuable in promoting the development of students as socially responsible persons ... The University News is a student voice, not the student voice. The views of The University News are the expressions of the students involved ... If [The University News] can represent a point of view around which discussion may develop, it serves a legitimate and needed purpose.” - From The University News’ Charter

The University News is a member of the Associated Collegiate Press, the Student Press Law Center, the College Media Advisers and the Missouri College Media Association, a division of the Missouri Press Association. First copy, free. Each additional copy, $1.00.

March 31, 2016

OPINION & EDITORIALS

Assessing the moral cost of material wealth

The concern for material wealth in contemporary American society is misguided. Wealth in society is often manipulated as a measurement of social status, which in turn may represent success relative to others. Where success connotes self-actualization, which is Kurt Goldstein’s term for the motive to reach one’s full potential, measuring success quantitatively misses its mark. One does not grow closer to feeling fulfilled when they acquire object after object, and the inclination to do so hurts more than just the buyer, but also the marginalized and the environment. One might argue that material goods lead to happiness through the purpose of those goods. However, most of these goods are redundant. One does not actually live happier when they have numerous items of clothing or the newest gadgets. Much of this feeling of need is based on comparison, on envy of the goods of others. This feeling is linked to a psychological phenomenon known as “relative deprivation.” Relative deprivation describes an individual’s feeling of entitlement to items that the people who

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Trevor Rogan

surround them have – when purchasing power. Inexpenindividuals lack those items, sive goods compel Americans they feel as if they are in a state so strongly that they feel the of deprivation. When a new need to exercise their right to technology meets the market, purchase whenever a sale hits Americans feel that they need the market. Too infrequently it because everyone else has do citizens question the efthe opportunity to buy those fects of producing these cheap same items. Americans do not goods and the standards a want to be left behind. And purchase, or the company when they that makes have the opthe good, portunity to supports. buy designer Relying on clothing, areas laden Americans often they choose with human hurt themselves to do so for rights violaattempting to emuthe brand tions for relate those of higher name more sources and means, buying often than outsourcing the quality items at prices they production of the prodto impovercannot afford and uct, as if to ished counsay, “Look at tries is rameconomic security me, look at pant among and overall wellthe money large corpobeing to appear I spent and rations. Relook at my materially wealthy cent reports p r e s t i g e .” suggest Americans that Apple’s often hurt products t hems elves may use maattempting to emulate those of terial from the Democratic higher means, buying items at Republic of Congo, where prices they cannot afford and child labor practices remain. sacrificing their economic seFactory workers in China curity and overall well-being commit suicide because the to appear materially wealthy. work conditions are insufThis behavior harms the ferable. In seeking material individual, but they do not wealth superfluously, individendure all of the cost. Loweruals strive to appear wealthy priced items often take advanwhile blinding themselves tage of the marginalized. Capfrom the poverty their behavitalism encourages prices to ior supports. shift in accordance to supply The desire to accumuand demand, and large corlate an exorbitant amount of porations have been able to goods also destroys the enlower the cost of items so that vironment. From fracking to the common man has greater logging, the means by which

companies acquire resources, and the institutions that allow them to apply such means, drives organisms toward extinction, cripples the world’s ecosystems and puts human survival as a species in danger. In contemporary American society, support for deals such as the Keystone XL Pipeline suggests that some Americans care more about petroleum and the products derived from it than their potential impact on the environment. When society enables corporations to destroy the environment, its members suffer. Skeptics question the authenticity of man-made global warming, but most scientists agree that it is linked to the behaviors of humans. The reason for destructive behavior, therefore, could only be that people do not care if their actions hurt the environment; their choices matter more. This seems to stem from the individualism of America. Perhaps one would argue that the institutions allowing the dependence on material wealth should not coerce companies and individuals to show compassion for the poor or concern for the environment. This argument, however, denies the acknowledgement of a common humanity. One human should care about the state of the other. A global community should be no different than a local community, and Americans should realize that their desire for material wealth will not bring them fulfillment, but will cause a lot of damage.

CIA’s unethical history raises questions about on-campus recruiting

The CIA has a long record of recruiting on college campuses, seeking to draw the so called “best and brightest” students for internships and full time employment. Stanford, Swarthmore, Harvard, MIT and the University of Massachusetts have been favorite sites in the past. On April 5th, Saint Louis University will be the site of recruitment activity for this organization, whose name bears tidings of fear, dread and hatred the world over. According to an email sent to students, the CIA will be conducting a series of interviews with students at the BSC in the morning and afternoon, and holding an informational session in Morrissey 0600 beginning at 5:00 p.m. The CIA visits to the previously mentioned universities were marked with mass student protests and struggle, with many events being forced to end early or cancel completely in the face of actual or planned protest and disruptions of these events. Why is the CIA so hated? The CIA was created by the National Security Act of 1947, signed by Missouri’s first and only president, Harry S. Truman (who also launched an

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Christopher Winston

imperialist war in Korea and who proceeded to establish dropped two atomic bombs a violent secret police force on a crippled and defeated Jacalled the TonTon Macoutes pan in 1945). The CIA spent and to massacre over 100,000 the 1950s enacting “democpeople during the reign of racy spreading actions,” such him and his son. as inciting and fomenting the Domestically, the CIA was overthrow of the democraticonducting Program MKULcally elected government of TRA, which sought to develMohammad Mossadeq in op mind control techniques, Iran (1953) after it announced giving drugs such as LSD its intention to nationalize and barbiturates to individuBritish held als against oil fields. their will In 1954, or withit overthrew out their democratiknowlcally electedge. SevKnowledge of the ed Jacob eral people history of of this Arbenz in were drivorganization and its Guatemala, en to comrole in these acts is who anmit suicide why other campuses nounced his as a result have risen up to intention to of this tornationalize ture. rebel against it. We land owned T h e at SLU, who pride by the rest of the ourselves on our Rockefeller 20th cencommitment to opcontrolled tury was posing oppression in Un i t e d marked all forms, should do Fruit Comwith the pany, which same trend the same treated of the CIA, workers and those with noit supporttorious ed, overbrutality throwing and sapped the wealth of the and killing popular national country and people for the democratic leaders, such as benefit of Americans. This Patrice Lumumba (Congo, was imperialism in the very 1961), Salvador Allende definition of the word – CIA (Chile, 1971), Joao Goulert Director Allen Dulles owned (Brazil, 1964) and Soekarno stock in this company. Arbenz (Indonesia, 1965). was replaced by a series of dicThere were also larger in tators who would murder over scale imperialist projects run 100,000 Guatemalans over the in conjunction with the Unitnext few decades. In 1959, the ed States military, like those CIA installs dictator Papa Doc conducted in Vietnam (1954Duvalier as leader of Haiti, 1975), the Dominican Repub-

lic (1965), Cuba (1961), Afghanistan (1979-1989, where it gave arms and other material support to anti-Soviet guerillas who would later go on to become al Qaeda and similar groups), and Nicaragua (1980s, the notorious Iran-Contra affair). Today, the CIA runs several dozen sites around the world where people are routinely extrajudicially taken and physically and psychologically tortured through such techniques as sleep deprivation, forcing people with broken legs and feet to stand, and waterboarding. This is just a very brief sample of the crimes that have been committed by the organization that is coming to our campus on April 5th. Knowledge of the history of this organization and its role in these acts is why other campuses have risen up to rebel against it. We at SLU, who pride ourselves on our commitment to opposing oppression in all forms, should do the same. If you support torture, destruction of countries and people, and oppression, by all means, work for the CIA. The blood will be on your hands. If you oppose imperialism, torture and destruction of efforts to use land and resources to the benefit of the people of the world, instead of a handful of parasitic capitalists and corporations, stand up and be counted in the ranks of those who resolutely and vocally oppose the presence of the CIA at our university and elsewhere.

Climate change: Read for facts, not politics variability, the scientists added that the likelihood of any drought becoming acute is rising because of climate change.” The author of a scientific study was quoted, and a link to the study was provided on the NYT website, but at no point in the article was Luke Vest specific scientific data printed and critically analyzed. It is very hard to take climate You cannot make an acchange seriously when all you curate conclusion on climate ever see is “scientists warn” change until you have looked and “evidence shows” in the at the experimental data yourmedia. self. The reason is because You can spend time trying people who have looked at the to guess why people have their data have made claims that own specific opinion on cliclimate change is both real mate change, but in the end, it and threatening, and that it is is wasted time, because there not. It is impossible to know is only one answer, and you who is telling the truth, so the can only know that answer only way you can truly know by looking at the data yourif climate change is real or not self and truly understanding is if you look at experimental it in an unbiased manner. It data and interpret it with the is stupid to believe in climate scientific method. change because you saw an There is no room for opinarticle on the Huffington Post ion in the scientific method. It about a “world-renowned is purely objective, yet arguscientist’s dire warning.” The ments over the existence of media is a business, and the climate change still persist in company with the best prodpolitics. The fact that people uct makes have looked the most at the eviprofit. The dence and best prodhave come uct in news to differing At this point in time, reportconclusions there is a large body ing is the is contraof ‘evidence’ that most excitdictory. It ing news. points out supports climate Sometimes that somechange and its adthe truth one is using verse effects as told is warped the scientifby the mainstream in order ic method media, but the meto make it incorrectly. dia typically fails to more enClimate tertaining, change can so the menever be perimental data and dia is not proven, it interpret it in terms of always the can only be most relisupp or ted able source by data or for inforrejected mation on by data. If climate everyone change. interpreted the data in a way Climate change has bethat is true to the scientific come extremely politicized, method, they would all come as seen in America’s two poto the same conclusion: that litical party’s differing policy either climate change is real, approaches towards it. Some not real, or cannot be deterthink that it is a tool used by mined with the available data. politicians to cause fear and At this point in time, there gain control. Republican presis a large body of “evidence” idential candidate Donald that supports climate change Trump said in an interview on and its adverse effects as told Fox News that climate change by the mainstream media, but is a “big scam for a lot of peothe media typically fails to ple to make a lot of money.” provide specific experimental Climate change causes data and interpret it in terms fear. It is scary to think that of the scientific method. human activity harms the enTherefore, it is impossible to tire planet. But the fear has know if they are telling the no foundation. It is based truth. I doubt that a mainupon debate after debate and stream news anchor spends news article after news article. his or her time reading studThere are so many differies on climate change, trying ing opinions, all of which are to understand it. worthless. You can only know In August 2015, the New if climate change is real by York Times ran an article reading the data yourself and that attributed the drought in understanding it with the sciCalifornia to climate change, entific method. So I implore saying that “[e]ven though you: if you have never looked the findings suggest that the at the data, please do not pardrought is primarily a conticipate in the discussion. sequence of natural climate

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In our Wildest Dreams... you would write for the UNews!

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PUZZLES AND GAMES

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March 31, 2016

Games

To solve the Sudoku puzzle, each row, column and box must contain the numbers 1 to 9.

Across 1 5 8 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 24 25 28 32 33 36 37 39 40 41 42 44 45 47 49 50 52 54 55 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66

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Copyright ©2016 PuzzleJunction.com

Think about writing for

Copyright ©2016 PuzzleJunction.com

67 Permits Down 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

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14 Silver wattle 23 “Zuckerman Unbound” novelist 24 Crayola color 25 Brick-shaped 26 Battery terminal 27 Traveler’s stop 28 Chess ending 29 Fender mishaps 30 Offer one’s two cents 31 Happen again 34 Currier’s partner 35 Norm 38 Muse of poetry 40

42 Accounting entries (Abbr.) 43 Goddess of wisdom 46 Confuses 48 Forward pass 50 Scrabble pieces 51 “Cease!” to a salt 52 Palm starch 53 Oman man 54 56 Exhort 57 Can of worms? 58 Hazzard County lawman 59 Beetle, e.g.

The University News! email: managing@unewsonline.com

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTIONS

Solution

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©2016 PuzzleJunction.com

ABSALOM

GALILEE

MOAB

ANTIOCH

GAZA

MOUNT SINAI

BABEL

GOSHEN

NAZARETH

BABYLON

HEBRON

NOD

BEIRUT

JAFFA

PALESTINE

BETHEL

JERICHO

PERSIA

BETHLEHEM

JERUSALEM

ROME

CANAAN

JORDAN

SODOM

EDEN

JUDEA

TYRE

EGYPT

MEMPHIS

ZION

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March 31, 2016

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