The Fitting Room

Photo: 'Leahy Views' / John Cardiges

By Megan Zabrouski

The color matches my morning: a singular strawberry eaten, spandex on the fitness instructor’s body for her 58:38 cardio video, my face after burning 421 calories: 70.1667 strawberries.

I wear the color of the night: shots of Aperol and vodka mixed with Advil to numb the blood and bile that washed down the drain after I swallowed six slices of tomatostyle pie and inhaled a bag of Takis.

The dress looked pretty on the mannequin, but I am too big for it and too small for this fitting room.