The University Paper Birmingham - October 2014 by The University Paper

BIRMINGHAM

A COPY OF DESTINY & A PS4:

OCTOBER 2014

FRESHERS EDITION THE BEST OF FRESHERS WEEK

PAGE 03

FIND OUT HOW ON PAGE 30

MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR NEW CITY

PAGES 03, 08-09, & 10-11

WELCOME to the best three years of your life MICHAEL O’CONNELL-DAVIDSON

A NEW GENERATION of freshers has just arrived into Birmingham. More than 20,000 students have chosen the UK’s second largest student city. If you’re one of these newbies, welcome to Brum! You’ve picked one of the most dynamic and exciting places to spend the best years of your lives. If you’re just arriving, then we’d also like to take this opportunity to introduce ourselves at the University Paper. We’re a different student kind of publication printing in 16 cities across the country, ranging all the way from Swansea to Sheffield -and beyond. Over the next academic year, we’ll be bringing you the best local news and entertainment Birmingham has to offer coupled with exclusive national content. To celebrate, we’re running a tongue-in-cheek analysis of the student cities we serve. Each has a population that’s as unique as its location, but how distinct are we talking? Here are some facts -- good and bad -- about each. Given that it’s the reason you’re here, the academic side of things is the most obvious starting point. Warwick University has never been ranked outside of the Top 10 UK major university rankings, and is the only university aside Oxford and Cambridge to have achieved this. However, the University of Edinburgh is the highest ranked University Paper university in the world, coming in at a hugely impressive number

17. Estimates suggest there are over 16,000 institutions that provide higher education in the world, so if you’re an Edinburgh student, you can feel very smug indeed. Edinburgh also has the highest amount of money spent per student -- but it’s Glasgow that has the most satisfied students according to the National Student Survey, with 91% responding positively this year. A slightly dubious honour falls on the city of Glasgow, where the women of the city buy more fake tan than anybody else in the UK. Tesco also reported that Glasgow leads the way when it comes to buying extra-large condoms, in a league table that also included Manchester and Bristol. Admirably, the academic community in Bristol set themselves apart when the University of Bristol became the first university to admit male and female students onto taught degrees as equals. 15% of Sheffield Students are virgins, so if you’re a reader from Sheffield and you’ve yet to have experience your first time, you can take solace in the fact you’re not alone (or in Glasgow). Our most promiscuous city is Liverpool, where students at Liverpool Hope have had on average 6 partners since starting university in a similar survey. Depending on your perspective, this may be a point of shame or pride. I’ll leave it to you to pass

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 19

DON’T THROW AWAY YOUR LIFE AT UNIVERSITY

DANIEL ROBBINS

PICTURE CREDITS: SWNS.COM

UNIVERSITY IS A TIME for many things but getting stuck in a bin shouldn’t be one of them! Independence, responsibility and of course embarrassment are three buzz words that go hand in hand with one of the biggest steps in your life. The step provides the platform to produce the stories that will stick with, or in this case haunt, you forever. Some

will shed in you in a good light, for instance showing independence by looking after yourself in what is likely your first time away from home. Other stories fall on the other side and cause embarrassment, something this Manchester student knows a lot about. Robin Niven is the name currently on everyone’s lips and like most embarrassing stories that happen during

university years, he was on his way back from a night out when the incident occurred. Yes, that’s right; he managed to get himself stuck in a bin and luckily for us all, his friends were there to record it. Many students will be able to tell you of countless stupid things they have done following a night out. Whether that be forgetting where you live when ordering a taxi (a common one)

or getting on the wrong side of a drinking game dare. However, very few, if any, will end up with the story concluding in someone being stuck in a bin. And even fewer will involve firemen. Oh yes he really was that stuck. Robin had to be rescued by three fire fighters before his ordeal was finally over.

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 19

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UNSPOKEN RULES OF UNIVERSITY CIARAN CRESSWELL

MAKING THE MOST OF UNIVERSITY ANNA GUNN

PHOTO CREDIT: ANNA GUNN

PHOTO CREDIT: GEORGIA TINDALE

GREETINGS FRESHERS. For those of you whose sixth form college/school still gave out detentions, made you wear suits, and dictated that you had to stay in all day even if you only had one lesson, the transition to university might feel something like being liberated from an authoritarian regime. Now you have sweet, sweet freedom! You’re free from all those rules that made you feel like you were still in Year Seven. Now your fate is in your hands; you can miss the odd lecture and no one will write to your parents, you can wear whatever you want, and if you have no lectures you can stay in bed for the whole day! (The University Paper does not condone missing lectures, just saying.) Basically, there are no rules apart from like, the law and stuff, don’t be an idiot. But ‘what of the unspoken rules?’ I hear you ask (I’m assuming you were wondering since you’re currently reading an article called ‘The Unspoken Rules of University’), all of those little things you couldn’t do at school on pain of being judged by your peers just because ‘that’s the way it is’. Well here’s some news for you, there are no unspoken rules either! That’s right, you’re at

university now. This is a chance for a fresh start and for you to be who you want to be without worrying what those people with whom you only had a school in common will think. Birmingham is a big place, and you are going to find like-minded people whether you like it or not. So hang up your insecurities, dive into your new life and forget about those ‘unspoken rules’ (no one ever even speaks about them anyway). Having said that, I do still have a few gripes: 1. Don’t steal your flatmates’ food. More of a ‘very loudly spoken rule’ than an unspoken one, but still, buy your own goddamn cheese. 2. It’s okay to answer questions in lectures. I don’t care if you’re shy, long awkward silences are awkward (hence the ‘awkward’), so stop pretending you don’t know the answer and say something already. 3. Some things are best left unspoken. It’s uni, sex happens, and the walls may be thin but that doesn’t mean you have to testify to the rest of the flat over breakfast about the nocturnal goings on of your next door neighbour. We can at least pretend we have privacy in halls.

UNIVERSITY IS a unique and exciting time, especially for Freshers – live this year to its full potential. FRESHERS WEEK Submerge yourself in the student lifestyle from the off. Freshers’ Week is a must for making friends and settling in without any of the stress of degree work. Universities also offer plenty of events that do not involve alcohol, so no excuses. EXPLORE BIRMINGHAM The UK’s second largest city will not run out of things to show you – Cadbury World, the Electric Cinema and a canal boat party are some adventures all adoptive Brummies should have. SOCIETIES From Harry Potter to Baking to Astrology, Birmingham’s

unis boast a huge variety of societies. Being part of these will help you share your interests with like-minded people, as well as offering you great social opportunities. Societies are far more enjoyable than any extracurricular school activity. NIGHTLIFE You’re bound to explore Broad Street’s best often in first year, but do not forget to look beyond. The Rainbow Venues and the Arcadian in Digbeth offer fun alternatives and if you’re feeling suave, cocktail bars like Jekyll and Hyde and The Lost and Found make for a sophisticated night. DEGREE It can be easy to neglect the academic side to university – working hard in first year will pay dividends in subsequent years.

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Top 10 Moving in Icebreakers HOLLY BARRY

PHOTO CREDIT: HOLLY BARRY

MOVING INTO university is both nerve-wracking and exciting. You’re moving away from your parents for the first time and will be living with complete strangers. Here are 10 ways to break the ice... 1. Explore Birmingham together – As soon as you have finished packing, it’s a great idea to go and explore the big new city together. 2. Get ready together for a night out – You can bond over music, interests and share stories. 3. Twister – If getting in each other’s personal space isn’t an ice breaker, what is? 4. Use Sticky Notes – Writing facts about yourself on sticky notes and sticking them to your

kitchen door will help you and your flatmates get to know each other. Make them as weird and crude as you like! 5. Movie night – Watch your favourite movies and eat your favourite snacks together. 6. Birthday line – Arrange yourselves in order of oldest to youngest without speaking, you can only use your hands. 7. ‘Would you rather’ – A hilarious scenario game to test your flatmates. 8. ‘Never have I ever’ – A classic university drinking game. 9. Beer pong – A great game to show off your (lack of) skills. 10.‘Who am I?’ – All write a famous person on a sticky note and pass it to the next person to you. Let the guessing begin!

NICKY CLARKE

0121 633 4009 www.nickyclarke.com 103B Wharfside Street, The Mailbox, Birmingham B1 1RF NC Ad_BMG.indd 1

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OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

Guide to

Birmingham

HOPE BROTHERTON

PHOTO CREDIT: ANNA GUNN

BECOMING

CELEBRITY STOCK: A GUIDE TO BEING A

So, you’ve decided that a University in Birmingham is the place for you but you’re slightly daunted by England’s second city? Well no matter, help is at hand! BARS If you’re looking for a good night out then hit up Broad Street. Broad Street is a one stop student club shop, which guarantees a great night out. It is home to some classics such as Propaganda, Reflex and Popworld. If mainstream hangouts aren’t your thing, are you more indie? Don’t worry, salvation is here! If you want something away from the busy hustle and bustle of the city, head to Moseley. The Prince of Wales provides a large outdoor area with a cocktail bar, wine bar and a cigar bar. Kings Heath is home to the Hare and Hounds, a pub and music venue where bands and festivals come alive at night. You’ll find people from all walks of life here and are sure to meet some interesting characters.

winter roasts you’ll need. But, the Kitchen Garden Cafe, in Kings Heath provides stiff competition and only uses seasonal vegetables – yummy.

SHOPPING Birmingham has the Bullring, need I say more? Prefer vintage? These shops are particularly affordable for students, check out Harper and Lewis as well as Ginger Megs. Don’t forget The Custard Factory which is known for hosting exemplary vintage fairs.

THE ARTS If you’re a fan of the arts then head to Victoria Square where Birmingham Museum and Art Gallery is situated, check out the Gas hall for moving exhibitions. Near Victoria Square is the new library, with several floors including one completely dedicated to Shakespeare. Book lovers be sure to check it out.

RESTAURANTS

RECREATIONAL

The city centre is an ideal place to start. Mainstream restaurants such as Pizza Hut, Nandos, Wagamamas, Jamie’s Italian and the Handmade Burger Kitchen can all be found here. Want something a little closer to home? Selly Oak has a plethora of curry houses that will blow your socks off. Fancy something off the beaten track? The Lord Clifden in Hockley has all the

Empire Cinemas in Rubery hosts ‘Cheap Tuesdays’ when It’s just over £3 to see a film. Stirchley’s 1st Bowl bowling alley also has £5 unlimited bowling every Wednesday. You can also try a spot of miniature golf in Star City. These activities may seem childish, but we’re all young at heart, right? And there you have it, a student’s guide to Birmingham. There’s something for everyone. So enjoy!

BNOC THOMAS DODD

PHOTO CREDIT: GEORGIA TINDALE

MOST STUDENTS will have heard of the Times Top 100 Rich List, or the Forbes 100 Most Powerful Celebrities and longed to have a piece of that action at some point in their lives. At the University of Birmingham, a select group of students annually find themselves in the running to be voted UoB’s Biggest Name on Campus (BNOC) for the year. Okay, so receiving such a honour is hardly likely to increase your net worth (getting your name in the undergraduate public eye usually doesn’t come cheap) and the winner is unlikely to find themselves becoming an inspiration to their peers, but even being in the running for BNOC will let you know, if you weren’t convinced already, that you have arrived as a student. It may look like a simple popularity contest - where your friends can simply get together and vote you in - but attaining BNOC status requires so much more. You’ll need to have a foundation, something to work from to build your fame - perhaps a society, an antic that sets you apart or even an alter ego. You will need to be known across the whole campus, and your name needs to make students everywhere exclaim: ‘Who is this guy, everyone is talking about him but I have no idea who he is!?’ Lastly, but most importantly of all, existence is key. It might sound obvious to say that becoming a BNOC requires you to be an actual person, but the voting public will be keen to avoid being conned again as they were in 2014 - when the now infamous UoB Library Hermit took home the prize, only to be ousted as fake just weeks later. Achieving, or even being nominated for BNOC won’t guarantee a first class degree, but if one thing’s for sure, it’s that you will have one heck of a University experience if you manage to combine the two accolades.

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

How to keep

safe during

Freshers’ Week YASHI WAY

PHOTO CREDIT: ANNA GUNN

WITH THOUSANDS of students in an intoxicated state, all determined to kick off their university experience in the wildest possible way, Freshers’ Week is a time when a lot could go wrong. Although you’ll want to dive headfirst into the plethora of activities happening, here are a few things to keep in mind to stay safe. 1) Drink responsibly. Don’t binge drink or push yourself beyond your limits. Don’t accept drinks from strangers and whatever you do, don’t leave your drink and come back to it. You never know who might have meddled with it! 2) Do not get into a cab you haven’t booked. In a new city, with your parents being too far to come to the rescue, you don’t want to end up in a stranger’s car. Be wise and use the cab number given to you during welcome week. 3) Stick to your flatmates - there’s safety in numbers! Swap numbers with your flatmates on

the day you move in so they can easily find you if you get separated on a night out. Keep an eye out for each other and make sure there is someone to look after you if you do plan on getting paralytically drunk. 4) Review your Facebook privacy settings. Unless you want the world to see a photo of you lying half-conscious on the pavement or making out with the hottie from the floor below, change your settings so that you approve every photo before getting tagged in them. If a private snap does go viral, be sure to report it and have it taken down. 5) Register with a GP. Although it may not be on the busy fresher’s list of top priorities (alongside getting kitchen utensils and getting a trendy new outfit for Freshers’ Ball), signing up with your nearest surgery is one of the first things to do when you move in- just in case something should happen and you require medical assistance.

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COMMENT FRESHERS

GUIDE

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

SPECIAL

We confront the issues that ma er to you, right here on campus. Have an opinion? Contact us at: editor@unipaper.co.uk to have your say

An Alcohol-Free Freshers, Is It Doable? KEISHA FRASER-BRUCE

PHOTO CREDIT: KEISHA FRASER-BRUCE

Can we really abstain from alcohol for the entire week? Seven days? and more importantly, seven nights? Of course not! It’s our culture and a hidden rule of university: “Thou shalt get wasted every night for seven nights and remember nowt.” How could we breach this great rule? We consume stupid amounts of alcohol during Freshers’ Week for confidence, to make friends, to be granted with the magical ability to end up in somebody else’s bed and more importantly to have a whole lot of fun. But then that’s just the thing, why does alcohol have to play such an important role in University life? Why do we need alcohol to have fun? Every year students conform to the stereotypical university life and Freshers’ Week arguably turns into a week of compulsive drunkenness. I hope you enjoyed the irony in my first paragraph because no, I don’t think we need excessive amounts of alcohol to have fun. Freshers’ Week is full of different non-drinking activities but if you do want to go out, then of course you don’t have to drink. You can have just as much fun without alcohol and you won’t regret any embarrassing hook-ups in the morning. Here’s a question, if we believe that

Promoters: In case you didn’t already have enough ﬂiers CIARAN CRESSWELL

alcohol must be consumed during Freshers’ Week, then are we not immediately excluding those that don’t drink or cannot drink? Now, I’m not saying that alcohol is terrible and we shouldn’t drink, of course, I go out enjoy the occasional drink, but it’s not the vital ingredient to a fantastic night out. An alcohol-free Freshers’ Week is doable, we don’t have to consume alcohol to a point where we’re paralytic and can’t remember anything. If you do believe that alcohol is the life of Freshers’ Week then I’m afraid you have been mislead.

PHOTO CREDIT: CIARAN CRESSWELL

If you’re a second year you probably already know my plight, but if you’re a fresher and you haven’t yet encountered ‘The Club Promoter’, then how the heck have you managed that? They’re everywhere! The first few times you encounter ‘The Club Promoter’ you might feel awkwardly obliged out of politeness - as is the British way - to take one of their flyers, or two, maybe even a whole bag full, with a large poster for secondary reading after you’re done with all your flyers. Soon you will find your cosy new halls of residence full of them. It will be as if you won the

lottery, and got paid entirely in flyers. Even if you don’t take them you still get them shoved through your letter-box like a hoard of letters congratulating you on getting into Hogwarts. Then there’s the litter. It’s not unusual to walk past a promoter and then find yourself walking over the discarded flyers of people who were too embarrassed to say “no thanks” but had no problem with littering. At times it can get very overwhelming and confusing if you don’t know your Vodbulls from your Jägerbulls. One thing’s for sure though, it’s all a load of bull.

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SPECIAL

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

Indepth, Insightful, & uncompromising: Interviews with BITE

TO BE FRANK The phrase ‘hardest-working man in show business’ is overused. And more than that, it’s an impossible thing to measure. But, if there was a league table, you can bet Frank Turner would be up there. The folk-punk singer has been touring in one shape or another for the past 16 years, whether as part of his short-lived “terrible” school band Kneejerk, the much-missed post-punk band Million Dead or as a solo artist. He’s heading out on the road again in September, his second UK tour this year. This time, however, there are a few differences. Firstly, the venues Turner and his band, The Sleeping Souls, are performing in are off the beaten path. It’s a nod to the fact Turner, after being born in Bahrain, grew up close to Winchester in the Hampshire village of Meonstoke, and bands very rarely, if ever, came to play nearby. “It’s also a nod of respect to people who like my music,” he says. “I am aware not everyone lives in London, Glasgow, Manchester and Birmingham. And people are so entitled these days. As soon as we announced these gigs, people in the cities were saying, ‘There’s nowhere near me’, so I say ‘Yes there is, there’s this place, which is 15 minutes on the train’. Those guys in the sticks have to travel all the time. “Plus, as well as keeping fans on their toes, it’s more interesting for me and my crew to go to new places, too.” The other reason Turner’s forthcoming run of shows will be different is that rather than promoting an album - his fifth album Tape Deck Heartcame out last year - he and the band are going to be playing all-new songs in preparation for recording their sixth. “We’re going into the studio in October,” he explains. “I’ve long had the feeling I’m yet to make a record that captures what we sound like live. You can think about methodology and studio craft all you want, but why not just go into the studio on the back of a tour when we’re sounding great? “And I’ve got way too many songs for an album - 19 at last count - so we’re going to play lots of them, and we will work out what to put on the record from that. Not that I’m going to be saying, ‘That went down well, let’s put it on the record’, but I’ll get a good idea from crowd reaction and from playing the songs each night.” His next album, he expects, will be released at the end of February, and will feature one song called Love Forty Down, a metaphor for being in your Thirties and being “rubbish at relationships”, inspired by hearing some friends playing table tennis one night. Another is called Get Better, which shares a title with a song by his friends Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip. “I rang Pip to ask if it was OK to share the title and not only did he say yes, but he offered to remix the song for us as well.” There’s not much sign of this workload stopping. Despite 2014 seeing him play all over the world, Turner’s team are currently booking shows, provisionally at least, for 2016. “I live a life that revolves around album cycles, and those shows are definitely written in pencil rather than pen, but yeah, it’s all being planned.

“It’s more interesting for me and my crew to go to new places, too.”

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.” After a summer of playing festivals all over Europe, he’s particularly excited to get back to playing his own shows, while this summer marked the point where he’d been touring for more than half his life. “I did my first tour in 1998, which was 16 years ago, and now I’m 32, so yeah, half my life on the road. I think we celebrated with another gig, which seemed about right.” Turner was born in Muharraq in Bahrain. His father was a banker and was on a posting to the Middle East in the early Eighties, and Turner lived there for the first six months of his life. “The main impact that it has on my life is that the place of birth on my passport is Muharraq. Try getting into the US with Muharraq written on your passport,” he says. His grandfather, Sir Mark Turner, was once chairman of high street chain BHS, while his father, Roger, worked in investment banking, and his mum Jane is a primary school headteacher. The life of a travelling folk singer perhaps seems unlikely for a former Eton pupil (Turner studied alongside Prince William at the elite school), and much has been made in the past of his background and political beliefs. Turner describes himself as a “classic liberal” in line with many modern libertarians, and has beliefs based on “democracy, individuality, equality of opportunity, distrust of power and, above all else, freedom, including economic freedom”. He has ‘Freeborn’ tattooed on his knuckles, as well as the ama-gi Sumerian cuneiform on his arm, the first written reference to the word ‘Freedom’ found in southern Mesopotamia, now modern Iraq, although as he gets older, he says he’s less inclined to share his politics at all. For now, at least, he’s concerning himself with his music - “The only thing I’m really interested in” - and preparations for album six. “I have a title but I can’t tell you what it is,” he says, though he will reveal it’ll be an upbeat collection, after the break-up confessional of Tape Deck Heart. “I want it to be shorter, too. We did a deluxe album for the last one, which seems confused to me in retrospect,” Turner adds. “I want the next one to be a 12-track album - simple and direct.”

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THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

WHAT’S

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The BEST night’s this Fresher’s week & throughout the month ● ●

THIS MONTH ● Aloha Party @O2 ACADEMY BIRMINGHAM ● Basement Club @ WALKABOUT ● Freshers Grand Launch Party, @ GATECRASHER ● Rendezvous @ELECTRIC ● Cats @BIRMINGHAM HIPPODROME TUESDAY 23RD SEPTEMBER

● UV Circus @THE RAINBOW VENUES ● Stupid Tuesday @ PLAYERS ● Supa Fresh Back to School Party @GATECRASHER ● Frat House @RISA ● Riverdance @NIA ● Cats @BIRMINGHAM HIPPODROME

SUNDAY 28TH SEPTEMBER

● Carnival Street Party @ RISA ● Las Vegas Strip Bar Crawl @ MYYST, ARCADIAN MONDAY 29TH SEPTEMBER

● The Closing Party @ O2 ACADEMY BIRMINGHAM ● Gatecrasher Mondays @ GATECRASHER ● Basement Club @ WALKABOUT ● Hanky Panky (bar crawl) @ RISA TUESDAY 30TH SEPTEMBER

● Stupid Tuesday @ PLAYERS

WEDNESDAY 1ST OCTOBER

● I Love... @ELECTRIC ● Ella Eyre @ THE INSTITUTE

WEDNESDAY 24TH SEPTEMBER

● I Love... @ELECTRIC ● Zoo @POPWORLD BIRMINGHAM ● #TheShishaLounge @MEER SHISHA LOUNGE ● Neon Nights (UV Party) @ MYSTT ● Riverdance @ NIA ● Cats @ BIRMINGHAM HIPPODROME

● BCU Tigers Bar Crawl @ DIGBETH, BIRMINGHAM & THE CUSTARD FACTORY ● Trendsetters (R&B/House) @ MOOCH BAR ● The Huge Freshers Foam Party @THE INSTITUTE BIRMINGHAM ● Kylies Beach @ WALKABOUT ● Minted at Mechu Official Launch Party @MECHU ● Riverdance @ NIA ● Cats @ BIRMINGHAM HIPPODROM FRIDAY 26TH SEPTEMBER

● Freshers Ibiza White Party @WAREHOUSE CLUB BIRMINGHAM ● #FreshersGoneWild @ BAMBU ● James Taylor @LG ARENA ● Cats @ BIRMINGHAM HIPPODROM SATURDAY 27TH SEPTEMBER

● School Disco @LOUNGE NORTH, CITY NORTH CAMPUS ● Godskitchen Txxenty @ THE RAINBOW TEXTILE FACTORY, DIGBETH ● Pandora Presents The Summers End payback party @ THE WAREHOUSE CLUB ● Cats @ BIRMINGHAM HIPPODROM

● I Love... @ELECTRIC ● Hype’Ur’Uni @ PLAYERS ● The Wizard of Oz @ THE OLD REP THEATRE ● The Full Monty @ CRESCENT THEATRE ● Pride and Prejudice @ SOLIHULL ARTS COMPLEX THURSDAY 9TH OCTOBER

● Hip Hop Karaoke @ GOSTA ● Minted @ MECHU ● Kylies Beach @ WALKABOUT ● The Wizard of Oz @ THE OLD REP THEATRE ● The Full Monty @ CRESCENT THEATRE ● Pride and Prejudice @ SOLIHULL ARTS COMPLEX FRIDAY 10TH OCTOBER

THURSDAY 2ND OCTOBER

● Freshers Festival ft: Mk, Miss Dynamite and Majestic @ THE O2 ACADEMY ● The Summer Showcase Part 2 @ GATECRASHER ● Minted @ MECHU ● Kylies Beach @ WALKABOUT

● Roller Express @ TOWER BALLROOM ● Supersonic Vague @ GATECRASHER ● The Wizard of Oz @ THE OLD REP THEATRE ● The Full Monty @ CRESCENT THEATRE SATURDAY 11TH OCTOBER

FRIDAY 3RD OCTOBER

THURSDAY 25TH SEPTEMBER

WEDNESDAY 8TH OCTOBER

● Zoology @WAREHOUSE BIRMINGHAM ● Chords Presents: xxxy / kry wolf / french fries / eli & fur / freeman & farrell @ LAB11 ● Supersonic Vague @ GATECRASHER ● Seedy Sonics 4th Birthday @ THE RAINBOW VENUES

● All White VIP Penthouse Party @CHI BAR ● Gatecrasher Presents Cuff Records Ft: Amine Edge & Dance @ GATECRASHER ● The 02:31 3rd Birthda @ THE RAINBOW VENUES ● The Ouse Party @ BOXXED ● An Evening with Caro Emerald @ NIA SUNDAY 12TH OCTOBER

SATURDAY 4TH OCTOBER

● Hype Ft: Emalkay / Cookie Monsta / Eptic + lots more @THE RAINBOW ● Music Box: The Free House Party @ BOXXED ● Superstar Boudoir @ GATECRASHER SUNDAY 5TH OCTOBER

● The Vamps @NIA

MONDAY 6TH OCTOBER

● Fresh Comedy Jam @RISA ● Basement Club @ WALKABOUT ● Rendezvous @ELECTRIC ● Gatecrasher Mondays @ GATECRASHER TUESDAY 7TH OCTOBER

● Westwood @ GATECRASHER ● Stupid Tuesday @ PLAYERS ● Kylie @ NIA ● The Wizard of Oz @ THE OLD REP THEATRE ● The Full Monty @ CRESCENT THEATRE

● Carnage Birmingham (Pyjama Fancy Dress) Starts @ PLAYERS BAR ● John Legend @ NIA

THURSDAY 16TH OCTOBER

● Minted @ MECHU ● Kylies Beach @ WALKABOUT ● Blood Brothers @ BIRMINGHAM HIPPODROME

BAR RISA

PLAYERS BAR

FRIDAY 17TH OCTOBER

● Supersonic Vague @ GATECRASHER ● Miranda Hart @ NIA ● Blood Brothers @ BIRMINGHAM HIPPODROME ● The Vicar of Dibley @ SOLIHULL ARTS COMPLEX SATURDAY 18TH OCTOBER

MON - HANKY PANKY Birmingham’s busiest and craziest student night!

● Superstar Boudoir @ GATECRASHER ● Il Divo @ LG ARENA ● Blood Brothers @ BIRMINGHAM HIPPODROME ● The Vicar of Dibley @ SOLIHULL ARTS COMPLEX

GATECRASHER

SUNDAY 19TH OCTOBER

● Ed Sheeran @ LG ARENA MONDAY 20TH OCTOBER

● Basement Club @ WALKABOUT ● Ed Sheeran @ LG ARENA

TUE - FRAT HOUSE

Beer Pong & Frat House Games

TUESDAY 21ST OCTOBER

● Stupid Tuesday @ PLAYERS ● Ed Sheeran @ LG ARENA ● I Love... @ELECTRIC ● Clean Bandit @ O2 ACADEMY BIRMINGHAM

WED - I HEART RISA £1.50 drinks & £1 Shots

THU - OH HELLO £1.25 Drinks

TUESDAY 14TH OCTOBER

● Stupid Tuesday @ PLAYERS ● The Best of BE Festival 2014 @ BIRMINGHAM REP ● Blood Brothers @ BIRMINGHAM HIPPODROME WEDNESDAY 15TH OCTOBER

● I Love... @ELECTRIC ● Lady Gaga @ NIA ● Blood Brothers @ BIRMINGHAM HIPPODROME

For the best night in town, head on over to Gatecrasher on Mondays. Their new glamorous student night will have an all night oﬀer on drinks for just 99p! With three rooms open, Gatecrasher caters for all tastes and plays the best house, R&B, garage and 90s Brit pop. Tickets are £4 in advance.

ELECTRIC

WEDNESDAY 22ND OCTOBER

MONDAY 13TH OCTOBER

● Basement Club @ WALKABOUT ● Gatecrasher Mondays @ GATECRASHER ● The Best of BE Festival 2014 @ BIRMINGHAM REP ● Blood Brothers @ BIRMINGHAM HIPPODROME

Stupid Tuesday is back and at a brand new venue. Players Bar is holding the event every Tuesday where drink offers will be on all night. There will be £1 shots, 3 for £5 VK flavours and £1.50 Fosters bottles. Hosted by Vodbull, there will be two rooms open that cater for all tastes of music, from the UK charts to the best R&B and hip-hop. Students are required to bring their student ID as well as proof of age to get the best offers.

NEW TO BRISTOL

MONDAY 22ND SEPTEMBER

NIGHTLIFE : FRESHER’S BEST NIGHTS

FRI - CIRCUS FRIDAYS Cheap Student Entry £1.50 drinks

‘Cheap drinks, great music, fantastic people and a brand new club!’ If you’re looking for a fun easy-going night after a hard day’s work, head down to ‘I Love...’ at Birmingham’s ﬁnest new club Electric. There will be the classic I Love Tom’s Mum room as well as a brand new I Love Urban room. Keep an eye out for regular theme nights that the club hosts.

O2 ACADEMY

For a great rock and rolling time head down to Propaganda which is back at the O2 academy. This thrill-seeking event attracts over 25,000 people each week; this is an event that cannot be missed! With three rooms open, this event plays the best pop’aganda-pop, dance, indie, D’n’B, digital disco, house and dubstep. The dress code is smart casual, strictly no trainers. If you look under 25 years old please bring a form of ID with you.

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

THE UNIVERSITY TEAM ATTENDED THE

LOADED MAGAZINE RELAUNCH PARTY @PRESS, LONDON

11 Need a little something to spice up your pre-party? Check out Mindbenders

» MINDBENDERS ON PAGE 28

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

BY PHIL HAMILTON

KIM’S KRYING GAME KIM KARDASHIAN WEST was reduced to tears when she had to babysit her sister’s kids. The 33-year-old star agreed to look after her older sibling Kourtney’s two children, Mason, four, and Penelope, two, while also caring for her own 14-month-old daughter North - her child with husband Kanye West. Kim admits she struggled to care for all three kids and was “crying” at the end of the day when she finally got them all in bed. During an appearance on ‘The Ellen DeGeneres Show’ - which aired on September 9th - she revealed: “I just went to San Diego to give my pregnant sister a break. “I took care of my niece, nephew, and my daughter. To bathe them - all three feed them, get them in their pyjamas and down for bed, I was literally crying!” Kim added: “It was so hard, three kids. I don’t know how my mom did it with six.” Kim’s emotional babysitting experience has made her think twice about her previous wish to have a large family. She admitted: “I’ll go for two, but then again I have so many siblings and I love it, they’re my best friends and I would love that for my kids. So I’m going to do two and see how it goes. I don’t think [I’d have] six, but maybe three or four - I go back and forth.” As well as Kim and Kourtney their mother Kris Jenner also has son Rob and daughter Khloe from her marriage to their late father Robert Kardashian and daughters Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner from her relationship with estranged husband Bruce Jenner.

PUPPIES FOR PRINCES? BRITAIN’S PRINCE HARRY reportedly wants a puppy for his birthday. The 29-year-old royal is set to celebrate his 30th birthday on September 15th and although he’ll be receiving £10million from his late mother, Princess Diana’s estate and her wedding dress on the day, it’s been reported he also has his eye on a much fluffier present. A royal source told MyDaily that the Prince “wants a Labrador puppy and that’s what he has asked for.” Perhaps seeing his brother and sister-in-law, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge - who have 14-month-old son Prince George together - so happy with their cocker spaniel Lupo has inspired the Prince to get a pet of his own. Meanwhile, Duchess Catherine, her sister Pippa Middleton and Harry’s pal Guy Pelly are said to be planning a bash to celebrate his milestone birthday and will be serving Harry-themed cocktails. A friend of the Prince told Royal Watch: “Harry will want a big party, so the drinks will be flowing.” Before the party starts, however, Harry will be treated to a meal with 30 of his closest friends and family and Catherine will reportedly be cooking up his favourite dishes of Beef Wellington, Fish Pie and Eton Mess for dessert.

PICTURES: BANG SHOWBIZ AGENCY

Never, ever, ever... GETTING A DATE?

TAYLOR SWIFT has not been on a date since she split from Harry Styles. The ‘Trouble’ singer has been involved in numerous high-profile relationships since breaking into the pop industry, including romances with Joe Jonas, John Mayer and Jake Gyllenhaal, but Swift, 24, says she’s not seen anybody since she split from Harry of One Direction. Speaking to Rolling Stone magazine, she explained: “[I] have not gone on a date. People are going to feel sorry for me when you write that. But it’s true.”

Taylor says that one reason why she has consciously avoided dating was because she felt that she was making too many headlines for that reason. She explained: “I’m just not comfortable providing that kind of entertainment anymore. I don’t like seeing slide shows of guys I’ve apparently dated. “I don’t like giving comedians the opportunity to make jokes about me at awards shows. I don’t like it when headlines read ‘Careful, Bro, She’ll Write a Song About You,’ because it trivializes my work.” The ‘Love Story’ hitmaker added: “And most of all, I don’t like how all these factors add up to build the pressure so high in a new relationship that it gets snuffed out before it even has a chance to start.”

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

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BELIEBING ‘This Is How I Do’ IN BETTER BEHAVIOUR Katy Perry is planning to write a tell-all book. The ‘This Is How We Do’ hitmaker has reportedly been oﬀered a number of multi-million dollar book deals from American publishers who are convinced her story will be a worldwide hit.

IN ADDITION to the breakdown of her marriage to Russell Brand - whom she split from in 2011, 14 months after they tied the knot - they’re also hoping she’ll spill the beans on her other high profile relationships with John Mayer and Gym Class Heroes star Travie McCoy. They also believe stories about her childhood would make for great reading as the queen of pop was brought up in a strict Christian family and was initially trying to make it as a gospel singer before becoming a household name with hits such as ‘I Kissed A Girl’ and ‘California Gurls’. A source said: “Her story and relationships are fascinating to many people in America, from her pop fans, Christian groups and star-loving book readers.”

Katy is reported to have been worried that Russell was going to open up about their sex life in a book of his own after he refused to agree to a gagging order in their divorce papers. However, he’s now shelved plans for a third instalment of his ‘My Booky Wook’ autobiography series. A source told the Daily Mirror newspaper: “Katy thought that Russell was going to tell all about what they got up to in the bedroom ... However, now the boot is on the other foot because Katy is being offered deals to come out and present her version of events. “She wasn’t very kind to Russell when she spoke about him after the split and with her star at such a meteoric height, publishers expect her to be a best seller.”

JUSTIN BIEBER is reportedly seeing a therapist. The 20-year-old singer is allegedly seeing a £600-an-hour Los Angeles shrink, John Kenyon, to help control his impulsive behaviour following multiple run ins with the law - which left him facing charges of assault and drag racing - earlier this year. A source told The Daily Star newspaper: “Kenyon’s treating Justin in person, when possible, then over Skype when he’s away. Sometimes they even have more than one session a day.” Despite the sought-after therapist’s hectic schedule, the ‘Boyfriend’ hitmaker used his celebrity status to skip a lengthy waiting list of patients and is said to be enjoying the sessions. The source added: “Kenyon’s so booked up he doesn’t normally take on new

clients but Justin used his name to skip the three-year waiting list. “It’s too soon to tell if it’s having a positive eﬀect , but the fact that Justin has kept it up and passed the ﬁrst batch of sessions speaks volumes. “If he hates something he’s not normally the kind of person to stick it out.” It is thought Justin was encouraged to participate in the sessions by his mother Pattie Mallette, 39, who has become increasingly worried that his erratic behaviour will be damaging to his career. The source explained: “His mum Pattie suggested he should give it a go. “She’s constantly worried he’ll do something that will ruin everything he’s worked for. And he adores his mum so he agreed to do it for her.”

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

MUSIC

R.I.P FRANKIE KNUCKLES THE PASSING of Frankie Knuckles earlier this year marked an end of an era for house music. In April, musos mourned as the unexpected death of Frankie Knuckles hit the headlines. Frankie dubbed “The godfather of house music” died at his home in Chicago aged 59 following complications to Type II diabetes. Despite his career being cut short he leaves behind a musical legacy that will have generations to come cutting shapes. The Grammy-winning DJ and producer started his career in the early 1970‘s as a disco DJ at The Warehouse in Chicago. It was his experimental style that would later become known as house, a genre which would inspire dance acts such as Daft Punk to take to the decks. Frankie’s career went from strength to strength, with chart topping tracks such as “Your Love” and “The Whistle Song”. He also began produce records for the likes of Madonna, Whitney Houston and Depeche Mode. In 2004, then Illinois state senator, Barack Obama dubbed August 25th Frankie Knuckles Day and re-named the street where the Warehouse once stood, Frankie Knuckles Way. In 2005, he was inducted into the Dance Music Hall of Fame. However three years later, he developed diabetes which would lead to having his foot amputated. But this didn’t stop Frankie, who played gigs right up until two days before his death. But what made Knuckles stand apart from the rest was that he understood how to make it happen on the dance floor, sometimes referred to as the “priest of the dancefloor”. Only time will tell who will step up to the decks next.

PARTY ANIMAL? ALWAYS OUT AND ABOUT? Did you catch up with our snappers. Check out pages 10 and 11 to see if you made the cut.

REVIEWS

ALBUM REVIEW

NEW EYES CLEAN BANDIT

2014 has been the year of Clean Bandit! After having the UK’s fastest-selling single of 2014 so far with their chart-topping anthem “Rather Be”, they also completed a hugely successful UK tour and a massively varied festival season across the UK and around the world. Their new album New Eyes has a multitude of tunes such as “Mozart’s House”, “Extraordinary”, “Come Over”, “A&E” and “Heart on Fire” and with their signature mix of classical music and garage pop they have managed to hit new heights with their album. ‘Extraordinary’ is a excellently executed mix of percussion beats, while ‘Mozart’s House’ manages to take a sample of the composer’s String Quartet No. 21 and then magically turns it into an impressive house rave within seconds and newly released single ‘Come Over’ was one of the biggest

hits of summer 2014. The album manages to layer classical music over beats and at the same time incorporates many different textures and influences across the 13-track album and their decision to collaborate with largely unknown artists had added more flare to the album, than cashing in which in turn turns the album in to a massively successful varied collection. However, even though the album is mostly successful in its approach, they do have a few tracks that closely touch on annoying. The repetitive hook of ‘Telephone Banking’ slips into annoying half way through and even the album named track ‘New Eyes’ is too long-winded.

RATING: 5/5

THE ROUND UP: To Me, Her Hips Don’t Lie SHAKIRA IS expecting another son. The ‘She Wolf’ singer announced last month she is pregnant with her second child with soccer star Gerard Piqué. Now Shakira’s mother Nidia and father William have revealed she is carrying a brother for her 19-month-old son Milan. Her parents told Hola! magazine: “We’re very happy. She’s having another baby boy - a playmate for Milan.” Although they now the sex of their next grandchild, Nidia and William do not know what Shakira and Gerard plan to call their next baby. They added: “We don’t know anything about names yet.” Shakira confirmed the happy news in a magazine interview and on her Twitter page telling her millions of followers: “Yes, we are expecting our second baby!! Thank you all for your well wishes!” Shakira, 37, has previously stated she’d like to have a huge family with Gerard, 27, with her dream being to have enough kids for her

own soccer side. She previously said: “If it weren’t because of my music projects, I would be pregnant already. I would love to have eight or nine kids

To You

WILL YOUNG has started selling his old clothes online. The ‘Jealousy’ singer has launched an online fashion website with friends, selling old items of clothing alongside a selection of new items. Despite his estimated £12.5 million fortune, the 35-year-old star has been clearing out his wardrobe to get rid of his unwanted items on the virtual retailer, My Vintage Journey. He tweeted: “My website http://myvintagejourney.com is live!!!! Hats in all colours, vintage and 2nd hand clothes and bits and pieces! More stuff to come (sic)” Fans of the singer - who won the inaugural series of the ITV singing competition ‘Pop Idol’ in 2002 - can purchase a variety of items from vintage waistcoats to Alexander McQueen high top sneakers, with several items previously being owned by the ‘Leave Right Now’ crooner. Will informed his 191,000 followers on Twitter that the most popular items are, in

fact, not his unwanted garments, but knitted beanie hats which are being sold on the site for £15 each. The website features a handwritten ‘About Us’ page which reads: “Here our team finds treasures. Treasures to wear, treasures to look at, treasures to give and/or keep for yourself! “Our aim is to focus on quality. Found clothes, accessories and little gems are our passion. We all have day to day jobs and we all come together to discover stuff we want to pass on to you.”

READY FOR THE weEKEND?

We sit down with the fabulous Frankie Bridge of The Saturdays ahead of their Greatest Hits Tour WHAT ARE THE REASONS BEHIND HAVING A GREATEST HITS TOUR NOW AND NOT AT THE END OF YOUR CAREER?

ges to layer We have just released our greatest hits album as we thought it would be good to have all our singles ame time and influenc-so far on just one album. The tour follows that as decision to all the fans should know the words to the songs ts had added and we thought it would be a really enjoyable in which in experience for us all. successful

mostly sucfew tracks petitive o annoying named track

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

WHEN YOU STARTED YOUR JOURNEY IN THE MUSIC WORLD DID YOU THINK YOU WOULD BE DOING SOMETHING LIKE THIS SEVEN YEARS DOWN THE LINE?

No, definitely not. I don’t think we ever thought we would have that many singles and definitely not enough to make a greatest hits album so it is a great achievement for us as a group.

WAS IT HARD TO PICK THE TRACKS THAT MADE UP YOUR GREATEST HITS ALBUM? No it wasn’t hard at all as this tour and album were planned at the right time so we could fit all our singles on so we didn’t have to pick and choose. There are also three new songs on there to provide a little treat to the fans.

WHAT HAVE BEEN YOUR FAVOURITE MOMENTS OF YOUR CAREER TO DATE? Getting to perform at Wembley was a big moment for all of us as we all grew up in London so that was a special moment. On top of that, getting to do the Comic Relief single was a great achievement for us because so many massive artists have done it before us.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK AND CHANGE ANYTHING FROM OVER YOUR CAREER WHAT WOULD IT BE? We have had some awful outfits! When you look back and think ‘what was I thinking’ with some of the clothes we wore but I guess it is all part of growing up and it gives everyone else a chance for a little laugh.

CAN YOU PUT INTO WORDS WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE COME THIS FAR AND TO HAVE SOLD OVER FIVE MILLION RECORDS AND HAD FOUR TOP TEN ALBUMS? No, not really! We have surpassed anything we could ever have managed to achieve and it is weird looking back and seeing how much has changed over seven years. We have achieved so much, when it’s actually happening you don’t realise what you are doing. With the Greatest Hits album coming out we have been able to look back and really take in what we have done.

WE KNOW THIS ISN’T THE END FOR THE SATURDAYS, BUT IF YOU COULD LOOK FURTHER AHEAD WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL BE THE FINISHING GOAL FOR THE GROUP? We want to keep going as long as possible especially whilst we are still enjoying it which we are at the moment. Everyone still gets on really well and we have still managed to get to do everything as a band as well as individually. There is no real end in sight at the moment.

WHICH CITIES DO YOU LOVE PLAYING THE MOST? We have found the further North you go the louder everyone gets and that is always really fun. The good thing about going on tour is you never really know what you are going to get. We are doing the same show every night but it does change as the crowds are different and are up for it in different ways.

WHEN YOU BEGAN YOUR MUSIC CAREERS DID YOU DO ANY UNIVERSITY GIGS? We did tons of University gigs all the time when we were starting out. They were always really good as they all came throughout Fresher weeks which were a good laugh as everyone was drunk and really enjoying themselves.

WHO WOULD BE THE DREAM BAND/ARTIST TO COLLABORATE WITH? It would have been wicked to do something with the Spice Girls back in the day just because as girls growing up they were who we idolised.

ANY PLANS TO RETURN TO THE UNITED STATES AFTER ACHIEVING WHAT YOU DID WHEN YOU WERE OVER THERE LAST YEAR? There are no current plans to return there anytime soon due to a number of reasons. We have three children, husbands and long term boyfriends throughout the group and we are real home girls as well. We really like being in England, we might go back to the US because we enjoyed every minute of it whilst we were over there, but we plan on spending more time here now.

WHAT’S THE FUNNIEST STORY YOU HAVE FROM YOUR TIME TOURING THE WORLD? Me and Rochelle dressed up as a horse once and went and mingled in the audience before our show started one night. We took photos with fans which was a good laugh for us as none of them realised it was us two in the costume.

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

TECHNOLOGIC PHIL HAMILTON

TECHNOLOGY EDITOR

GADGETS This month: PHONES WE ALL KNOW Apple are a bunch of B******ds when it comes to putting out iPhone upgrades every five minutes to iScrew our bank accounts. We’re now on iPhone model 246S, and despite a battery life that can only be described as S***, Apple have been the world champion of smartphones for years... But since Steve Jobs popped off to tech heaven a lot of other contenders have sprung up ready take the iPhone’s title. So who could become the new champ? Phil ‘The Hammer’ Hamilton is stepping in the ring to bash about the

best of the rest to see which can batter Apple. Maybe it’s time for us all to grow the balls to leave iPhones behind. Beyond the upgrades you feel forced to keep up with, don’t go into an Apple store if you want to keep cash in your account. Their sales reps wandering around holding little handsets will have you owing £2,000 before you know it. Here’s the other choices to give Tim Cook a boot in the stones. And if you don’t know who he is, look it up. On your iPhone.

PHONES & STUFF

GAMES

MOBILES

COMPUTERS

TABLETS

APPS

HTC ONE (M8)

Available from htc.com / RRP: £549.99 YES, IT’S PRICEY, but this is the handset that would lure me into ditching the iPhone. Like a top of the range of sports car it looks stunning, and what’s under the hood is just as impressive. I love the curved design of the aluminium body and the five-inch, full HD 1080x1920 pixel screen is perfect for watching films, TV and surfing the web. Its in-built Blink Feed news channel is brilliantly executed, pooling the best news from all over the world and web. You can also add any RSS feed you want and any social media posts. When you get into this feature you’ll find it hard to stay away. Battery life is very impressive for a phone that does so much and although the camera is only 4 megapixels the HTC One’s Duo Camera system (basically it has a depth sensor for clarity) means you can take amazing photos. And with the Dimension Plus feature you can make your images 3D. And in case you’ve forgotten, it still makes – and receives – phonecalls. TOP-RATED

EE KESTREL

Available from ee.co.uk / RRP: £99

SAMSUNG GALAXY K ZOOM Available from mobiles.co.uk / RRP: £399.95

AT FIRST this feels like a camera that thinks it’s a phone. It’s bulky in the hand due to the fact it has an optical lens that extends to 24mm. But what a camera – 10xoptical zoom with 20.7 megapixels BSI CMOS sensor. It really gives the best digital cameras on the market a run for their money. Let’s be honest, everyone’s taking pics and bloody selfies on phones anyway, so who carries a camera round with them? The rest of the handset is still very impressive – 4G, 1280x720 screen (almost full HD, although occasionally it can seem a bit fuzzy) with Android installed. Not as good as its stable mate the Galaxy S5 but still a very decent bit of kit. RATING

YOU WANT A SMARTPHONE but don’t fancy shelling out the best part of £500? Well, with the EE Kestrel you don’t have to. At just £99 it’s the cheapest smartphone on the market and still comes with 4G. Of course it doesn’t have all the bells and whistles and processing power of its more expensive and well-known rivals but, honestly, for this price, who cares? It’s fast to browse the web (you can stream Netflix very nicely) because of EE’s unique double-speed 4G network, the battery seems to last forever, it’s Android-loaded, the 5 megapixel camera has an LED flash and user-friendly camera app that works better in daylight than at night (but then maybe you shouldn’t be pulling out your phone every five minutes in the pub to take pics of yourself having a great time instead of drinking. You twats.) It doesn’t have a true HD screen and blahblahblah. I’m getting sick of listing all this bullshit for things that were invented to send texts and take calls. But basically, I like this no-nonsense smartphone. If I was being whimsical I’d say it’s the Ronseal of the market. It does what it says on the tin. It isn’t a rip-off. And its battery – unlike the Apple iCuntS – lasts longer than the length of two PornHub clips. RATING

IF YOU’RE IN have been on all over this the heart firs Available from various retailers most excitin RRP: £229.99 It includes THIS MIDDLE-MARKET SMART- creates some PHONE is just a bit, well, meh. experience n The design is not particularly it’s the dogs beautiful, its 720-resolution I’m sure m screen just doesn’t appear that iar with the H clear on the Archos’ five-inch Xbox 360 mu screen, left, and the 8-megapixel the develope camera is, to be blunt, turd. who are resp But 4G works well, it has 8GB Yes, once of storage space, it’s pre-loaded some of the with Android Jelly Bean, has 1GB become appa of RAM and the battery lasts for way grenade ages as long as you don’t spend to the Maste all day gaming or streaming porn. Destiny is To be blunt this handset is like after a catacl the chubby girl with the mousey of Earth and brown hair dancing in the night- of the last ci club 30 minutes before it shuts... As well as momentarily tempting but you and maim on can definitely do better. ancient ruin And you’ll regret it if you take galactic gang her home. The story quest to recl Golden Age i RATING Halo veter really sensat Spartan to su to what you c Well, Bung ter-customis There is a on a characte Those of y house with s will be able t tomising aw The way yo you so wish y online comm will be packe As well as special ment which are a r there is virtu

ARCHOS 50 HELIUM 4G

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

TRANSFORMERS

TOASTIE MAKERS

HEADPHONES

SPEAKERS

GAMES

LAPTOPS

NIGHT VISION GOGGLES

DRONES

VUVUZELAS

PREVIEW: WWE 2K15

‘It’s boring and irritating when you see players flying through the air like armour-clad birds from the slow-motion bits of The Matrix’

Last year 2K Sports acquired the much sought-after WWE license and a year on from the excellent WWE 2K14 we are just a couple of months away from their next matt-slamming effort. Although WWE ‘Superman’ John Cena is the cover star, the most exciting piece of news we’ve had from 2K is that wrestling legend Sting (pity his name is stained by that tantric numpt) is to be a playable character for the first time ever in a WWE game – if you pre-order.For those of you not aware why this is exciting I’ll tell you why. Sting is considered one the greatest wrestlers of all time but has never wrestled for the biggest wrestling company, instead cementing his legacy in the NWA (National Wrestling Alliance – I hate typing out the full meanings of acronyms, FFS, but I will so noone can whinge they

REVIEW OF THE MONTH

don’t understand these wrestling terms – even though you should), WCW (World Championship Wrestling and the company that nearly put WWE – World Wrestling Entertainment – out of business in the mid to late ’90s) and most recently TNA (Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling.) This is a BIG deal. Sting’s appearance is believed to be part of the rumoured Attitude-era mode which will allow players to relive the greatest matches from the Monday Night Wars in the ’90s from both WWE and WCW. Other game types expected to be included are an updated Universe mode which allows you to book your own WWE shows and pay-per-view extravaganzas. There’s also said to a revamped WrestleMania mode where you recreate the biggest matches in the show’s history. Other confirmed playable characters include current super-stars such as Bray Wyatt, Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan as well as a host of legends such as Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Honky Tonk Man and Sycho Sid Eudy. I personally can’t wait for this game and got so excited writing this I decided to don Lycra pants and bodyslam all of my kids on the floor. As The Hulkster would say, “Whatcha gonna do when WWE2K15 runs wild on you!” Drink a long, tall glass of shut up juice and get playing. OUT: OCTOBER 31 ON PLAYSTATION 4, PLAYSTATION 3, XBOX ONE, XBOX 360 AND PC.

DESTINY: BETA IF YOU’RE INTO YOUR GAMES then Destiny will have been on your radar for some time. ‘ve been all over this heart-pumping, adrenaline shot in the heart first-person shooter – arguably the most exciting release of the year. It includes all the best tricks of the genre but creates something unique to provide a gaming experience not easily forgotten. To put it simply it’s the dogs’ bollocks. I’m sure most of you reading this will be familiar with the Halo games that made the Xbox and Xbox 360 must-have consoles, and it is Bungie, the developer behind that blockbuster series, who are responsible for Destiny. Yes, once you get a few hours into playing some of the similarities between the two titles become apparent but these are a good thing – the way grenades are wielded owe a special thank you to the Master Chief. Destiny is set in our solar system in the future after a cataclysmic event has changed the course of Earth and you play as one of the “Guardians” of the last city on the battered planet. As well as being able to shoot, kill and maim on Earth you can also explore the ancient ruins of our solar system – grab a gun you galactic gangster – we’re shooting up Venus. The story mode really is engrossing and your quest to reclaim what was lost in mankind’s Golden Age is as compelling as any sci-fi movie. Halo veterans will know the online mode was really sensational. You could customise your Spartan to suit your wishes but there were limits to what you could change. Well, Bungie has brought us a limitless character-customisation game here. There is a limit to what I have time to change on a character (or be bothered to.) Those of you yet to get hitched or fill your house with screaming snot-spewing mini-me’s will be able to spend your ample free time customising away in the style of role-playing games. The way you can play online has changed too. If you so wish you can play the story mode with the online community – which if you’re unlucky will be packed with loads of whiny Americans. As well as the Solo or Co-operative story (and special mention for the cinematic sequences which are a revolution in game development as there is virtually no loss of graphics from game-

play mode), other online game modes include Strike, Crucible and Tower. Tower is less of a mode but more of an area where you can hang out with other players to forge alliances, create special forces and upgrade guns and items. What is very appealing about the game is that it is very easy to jump into and start playing and it soon draws you into the beautifully rendered world. It also isn’t the type of game where you will die

over and over again which for me just becomes fucking annoying. I really have just one minor gripe with Destiny and that is how your character jumps (as I said – minor. But I’m still going to gripe about it.) I know it’s dull as shit to quibble about ingame physics but your Guardian just jumps too bloody high and takes too long to land. It’s boring and irritating when you see players flying through the air like armour-clad birds from the slow-motion bits of The Matrix. Regardless of my jumping angst this is a musthave title. And the world agrees. Almost 5 million people played the PlayStation 4 and PlayStation 3 Betas – so, and I never thought I’d say this, go and join everyone else. They’re right on this one.

RATING: 5/5 (TESTED ON PS4 BETA) AVAILABLE FROM SEPTEMBER 9 ON PLAYSTATION 4, PLAYSTATION 3, XBOX ONE AND XBOX 360.

PREVIEW: PROJECT SPARK MICROSOFT’S GAME-CHANGING ‘GAME MAKER’ title will hit shelves in October and I’ve been getting to grips with the good and the bad aspects of the title. The premise of Project Spark is that you create 3-D worlds in which you are boundless in what you want to create. Basically you can make the game you dreamed to make, but never had the power to do so. In Project Spark you have a terrain which you can sculpt and mould into a complex world. You can add your choice of foliage and animals, and make an environment like no other. Want to get Robin Hood to fight a giant overlord of Planet Piñata? Then you’re in luck. Just pop it in there. It’s like playing a god. You have logic too. A game would not be fun if

it had no va-va-voom. That’s why things need to have “scripts”. Project Spark is very close to real-life game development where you use ‘what if statements’ and so many more complexities I was never arsed to do a computer science degree to learn. Project Spark is complex in scripting logic which is so simple to learn it really does set up the average gamer up for programming in the future. Then comes the bad bit... Project Spark is too similar to the original IP of this genre of play, create, share, Little Big Planet which is due for another sequel this year. Project Spark is enthusiastic in its premise and of course it’s aimed more at teens and adults, but it’s going to be in the shadow of Little Big Planet unless the users get to grips with all the options Spark allows.

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THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

CURRENT

» CONTINUED FROM FRONT COVER

DON’T THROW AWAY YOUR LIFE...

THE THREE BEST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE

The story all starts with a night out in Manchester. Walking home with friends, he spots a roadside bin with its front hatch open, a very rare sight and one that he could not refuse taking advantage of. Now would be a good time to add that memorable stories don’t come without friends there to witness them or in this case be the reason behind the incident. As Robin climbed inside the open hatch his housemates, who were slightly tipsy, kicked the door closed as a joke. Now the victim might well say he would have done the same to them if they were in that position but unfortunately for Robin the door to the bin automatically locked. The rescue mission was now on.

the judgement. Of course, there are certain drawbacks to having that many sexual partners. Indeed, if you’re plagued by an itchy, burning sensation, then you might be studying in Nottingham, where gonorrhoea’s truly gone viral, or Birmingham, which tops our metaphorical league table for chlamydia in 18-25s. Of course, the real question is how much it costs to get a drink. There are lots of figures floating around, but the same HSBC report that declared Leicester the cheapest university in the country also declared that Leeds was the cheapest place to drink, with five pints of beer or two bottles of wine costing only £12. But who’re the biggest drinkers? It’s not a cheap city, by any means, but that honor goes to Bath. According to the most recent University Drinking League Table by Student Beans, Bath Spa students drink a liver-melting 26.3 units of alcohol a week on average. For reference, the Department of Health recommends that men drink no more than 21 units a week, and women no more than 14. Newcastle has been crowned as one of the UK’s leading tourist attractions. Sure, it’s a beautiful city - but time and time again, what people return for is the city’s nightlife. In fact, Tripadvisor users have voted Newcastle as the seventh best place for nights out in the world.

“We kicked the door closed and it stuck! We’ve all tried pulling the door at the same and we’ve tried tipping it,” Robin’s friend Jack Tame can be heard saying on the video. With their efforts coming up short, they didn’t know what else to do other than call the fire brigade. Cat’s stuck in trees is the usual joke task that fire fighters are linked with but students stuck in bins takes that to a whole new level. With his friends laughing on and Robin shaking hands with people outside of the bin, the firemen arrived. Like any good rescue service they knew exactly what was needed for the job straight away. Producing a little tool from their truck, they opened the bin with ease much to the delight of Robin. Finally able to stand up again, Robin’s first act was to give his rescuers a big hug to say thanks for their efforts. And now his ordeal has realised instant fame as his video has hit the internet ensuring his embarrassing story will be remembered by more than just a select few friends. Unfortunately for Robin (and possibly for the image of students across the land), that isn’t the only story of a student getting stuck in an object in recent time. And this American student’s ordeal saw him stuck in something much stranger than a bin on the side of a street. Tubingen, Germany was the setting for another firefighter rescue, 22 of them required to remove a student from 32-ton stone vagina. Yes you read that right as outside Tubingen University’s institute for microbiology and virology stands a sculpture that artist Fernando de la Jara reveals is meant to signify ‘the gateway to the world’. However, one student decided it would be a good idea (for whatever reason but I hope it was a dare) to jump inside the artwork, only to get himself stuck. A few adjustments and not long later, the student was free, accompanied by a story he won’t want to be telling his family anytime soon. University is a time for embarrassing stories to take place that you hope will never see the light of day. But at least we can rest safely in the knowledge that no matter what we do in our time away from home, there are always people out there that go the extra mile to make sure our embarrassing moments don’t seem as bad.

...but at least he wasn’t this guy...

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

Fashion ESSENTIALS

SASKIA QUIRKE

FASHION EDITOR

Women WELL HEELED

These booties wont keep your toes warm but they will look good.

GET LIPPY

BOOTS, £55, MISS SELFRIDGE

Perfect for puckering up, this balm leave lips super soft and tastes good too

LIP BALM, £8, OLIVER BONAS

ZIP IT

Tick off two of this season’s biggest trends, leather and texture, with this biker

BIKER JACKET, £85, H! BY HENRY HOLLAND AT DEBENHAMS

JUST PEACHY This simple boxy cut is classic with a colourful twist

COAT, £44.99 NEW LOOK

PRINTS CHARMING

print and Take one pretty t collar. add a statemen ve? The What do you ha ent shift. tem sta ultimate

DRESS, £10, PRIMARK

FLOWER POWER Because every lip gloss and mascara deserves a fashionable home

MAKE-UP BAG, £12, CATH KIDSON

ARM CANDY

This chic bargain bag looks like it should costs three times its price tag

GREY BAG, £29, ACCESSORIZE

HIGH SHINE

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d h Just a easy t for an or tee d go outfit 8, an SS, £3 it-on E DRE

S ARE DUNG HY PERKIN T O DOR

CLUTCH CONTROL

This popping pink bag adds the perfect punch to any LBD

BAG, £35, MISS SELFRIDGE

The sweatshirt gets modern makeov er with this sequin numb er

SWEATSHIRT, £6 9, HOUSE OF FRAS ER

T STATEMEN S T R SHO age print. vint We love this w bare legs no Wear with d tights for ad st ju d an winter.

, SHORTS, £34 TOPSHOP

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, £50 SHOES OP H S P O T

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

TOP TIP : WOMEN

TOP TIP : MEN

FLORAL FANCY

COOL KICKS

Statement necklace that will make even the most simple tee wow

This new navy, slate, silver and neon orange colourway makes these these perfect autumn trainer.

NECKLACE, £29, ACCESSORIZE

TRAINERS, £105, NIKE

Half mac, half parka, we love this simple but stylish coat.

COAT, £65, NEXT

MEN

ESSENTIALS

WINTER WARMER

GLOSS FINISH

Paint your lips pink with a slick of this from Stila and it will stay all day

LIP GLOSS, £18, STILA

LEATHER LUXE

Cos accessories for guys make the perfect gift. This bracelet is one for the birthday list

BRACELET, £10, COS

THE WEEKENDER BUTTON UP

From paisley to polka dot to mountain prints, Topman has put its stamp on this autumn’s shirts.

SHIRT, £45, NEW LOOK

This handsome holdall means you’ll arrive at any destination in style

HOLDALL, £50, F&F AT TESCO

POP A CAP ON IT MONOCHROME MUST-HAVE Houndstooth, quilted, black and white - all in one bomber jacket. What’s not to love?

JACKET, £65.99, ZARA

BLUE HUE CHECK MATE

Snap up this tee for the easiest way to work the check trend.

This bright blue cable knit jumper is a real steal.

THE LITTLE YELLOW BOOK

PUFFER UP

Quilted gillets and coats are back. Welcome back the Nineties in this Zara number

oys e to b e h t f ro shoe

CAP, £8.99, NEW LOOK

JUMPER, £35 BURTON

T-SHIRT, £18, NEXT

S SHOE

This marble effect snapback is finished off with a cool Airtex style design

Hungover? In desperate need of carbs? This book will help you whip up the perfect hangover cure.

BOOK, £8, BURTON

GILLET, £49.99, ZARA

MAN BAG

CONTRAST COLLAR

SKATER SHOES

DENIM JACKET, BOOHOO

SHOES, £59, COS

For an on trend denim jacket opt for a sheepskin effect collar

Simple slip-ons are still going strong this season. Comfy and stylish.

Keep it understated with this grey backpack with contrast straps. Less is more.

BACKPACK, £25, BURTON

ADVICE

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

NO-NONSENSE ADVICE THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE

Second Year: We’re not Freshers Anymore Job Hunting For Final Year

Students DANIEL ROBBINS

Coming to the end of your ﬁnal year? Worrying about how to put yourself in the best possible position to walk out into a job? Then fear no more as we have compiled a list of some of the best tips to get onto the job ladder, but with a twist. Anyone can tell you to get experience, to be punctual or to have your CV in order. But what can you do to set yourself apart from the rest? Look no further than these three handy tips below!

1 AS YOUR UNIVERSITY OPENS its floodgates to another wave of Freshers that are young, dumb and full of the joys of spring, second year students prepare to face a different reality. This year actually counts towards your degree so it’s time to shake off your bad first year habits if you want a degree classification that doesn’t share its name with a South African bishop. Firstly, you actually have to attend lectures this year. We’ve all been guilty of skipping lectures after telling ourselves “it’s only one lecture – I’ll catch up” although we never do! You can be almost certain your lecturer will be wearing those beige trousers but you can’t be certain of what important information he is going to share with you so force yourself out of bed and go!

Secondly, writing that 4000 word essay the night before the deadline on a heart-attack inducing concoction of Red Bull and ProPlus is no longer going to cut it. You need to plan and organise your coursework more so than your nights out this year. Thirdly, you need to find out where the library is. Note – it’s not in the Student Union’s bar. It’s alright to enjoy your life (you’re not a third year quite yet!) but make sure you’re actually doing the reading and studying as you’ll find it difficult to blag your way through second year. Finally, you must of course develop a hatred of Freshers as they waltz around uni without a care in the world!

CLUB DRUG CLINIC LAURA RAPHAELS

Taking drugs is nothing GBL is used to clean car wheel

trims, however if ingested it can give a high similar to alcohol and increase sex drive. It is a colourless and tasteless liquid that can be swallowed or injected. Withdrawal symptoms can last up to 15 days after the last dose, and it is easy to OD on GBL as there is not much difference in the amount required to get high or slip into a coma.

MEPHEDRONE, branded

meow meow by the media, is a stimulant that can give a similar high to amphetamines such as speed and ecstasy. It is a white powder that can be swallowed, injected or snorted and the effects last for about an hour. When the drug first emerged on the internet dealers marketed it as “plant food” or “bath salts” to get around the law, however it was made illegal in 2010. Some users refer to it as meph, but should not be confused with meth.

NITROUS OXIDE, more

commonly known as laughing gas, can give a relaxed and euphoric feeling when inhaled. It is not illegal and users have taken to openly inhaling the gas using balloons, however local authorities have started to seize canisters from users distributing or taking the drug in public places. There is a concern users believe it is a safe legal high, without acknowledging that it can cause oxygen deprivation resulting in loss of blood pressure, fainting and heart attacks.

BE MEMORABLE If you get the chance to do work experience in your respective ﬁeld don’t just turn up and just get by every day. Do something memorable! Pitch ideas to your boss and leave them at the end of a week remembering you by something out of the ordinary that you did for them. Add your quirky experiences where you have shown leadership or another crucial quality to your CV as well to make your piece of paper stand out from the rest.

BUILD CONTACTS A rather straight forward one but an important factor nonetheless. A follow on from the point above, if you make yourself memorable more people will take notice of you in the work place. Don’t be a shrinking violet, shake as many hands, get as many names and contacts as humanly possible in a week, you never know when they could come in handy.

BE PERSISTENT Continuing on from building contacts, you need to keep in touch with them in numerous ways. Drop them an email every couple of weeks, drop into the oﬃce where they work or give them a call. It may seem like you are being annoying but employers like someone who is proactive and all these points show you are just that.

First Class Honours Closer Than You Think DANIEL ROBBINS

PICTURE CREDIT: SHUTTERSTOCK

First Class Honours! What an achievement that can be after three or four years of hard work. But that is just what is needed; hard work. It isn’t going to come easy. Luckily for you there are some tips to follow to make the achievement more manageable. The first point you need to consider is that you can’t just wait until the last year to work hard as you won’t achieve what you are hoping for. That’s not to say you have to live in the library and not go out during every year at University, you just need to strike the right balance. You have to break down your hard work over your entire course. If you manage good grades in year one, work will become easier in the years to follow. It is simple really. Planning for your final grade come graduation begins in the first year. Getting into good habits early on is a must so whatever the exam, class test or coursework you do, aim to get the best grade you can! The feedback you get from your work, alongside the grades, are brilliant indicators early on as to where you are in University based tests. From there you have two or three years to improve and gradually work your way up to getting firsts on mock tests. So there you have it, preparation is key and if you get in to good habits early on, First Class Honours could be closer than you think!

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THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

RELATIONSHIPS:

Are you about to go all the way? LAURA RAPHAEL

PICTURE CREDIT SHUTTERSTOCK

There are two types of long distance relationships at university. One that makes university ever better and one that turns you into Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. Suddenly you are a paranoid wreck, stalking their social media into the small hours and wondering just who is that girl in all your boyfriend’s pictures. And don’t worry the boys are just as possessive, even though they wouldn’t readily admit it. If you are currently faced with the long distance dilemma we have three relationship saving tips:

Communication:

You are going to be meeting a whole new group of people, getting to know a whole new city and perhaps toasting this with a drink or two. Not to rades, are rsity based mention the information overload from lectures. e and gradu- But don’t get too caught up in your new life that you forget to keep in touch with your other half. in to good you think!

Hanging out:

This is especially important if they are not going to university, they will start to feel that they are not part of your life and once that thought process begins, the drifting apart starts. Don’t forget to have a laugh, relationships are fun not a chore. Make them a part of your new routine, plan weekends together just don’t squander your train fare in the SU beforehand.

Work at it:

Over the next three years you and your other half are going to change. You can grow together but this is something you need to work on and more importantly never give up on.

Don’t Put the

STD in STuD PAIGE WILLIAMS

PICTURE CREDIT: SHUTTERSTOCK

Uni is a time for having fun but just make sure it’s good, clean fun. Remember you came to uni to get a degree, not an STD. SEX IS CLEANER WITH A PACKAGED WIENER. If you’re not 100 per cent certain about where your sexual partner has been then it’s always best to be on the safe side. Sex with a condom/femidom might not feel as good as skin-on-skin but catching chlamydia feels a lot worse. Also, DO NOT open them with your teeth. You may have seen it in a ﬁlm and you may think that it’s sexy (it’s not), but doing this could cause you to break or tear the latex so just open it with your hands like a civilised human being instead of a sex-crazed animal. ORAL SEX ISN’T SAFE SEX. STD’s can still be transmitted through oral sex but the risk is reduced by the use of a condom or dental dam. You might be put oﬀ as this can make the act less enjoyable but nobody will want to kiss you after if you’ve got gonorrhoea on your face. If you still aren’t sold then google facial herpes - it’s not good. CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF. Not all STDs have visible symptoms so don’t just assume you’re STD-free because nothing’s oozing or hurting. If you do have unprotected sex, be sure to visit your local sexual health clinic for a screening. It’s easy, quick, and free and they’ve seen it all before.

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

MY MONEY

IMPARTIAL, EXPERT ADVICE

Peter Jones

How to budget your money

FROM STUDENT TO MENTOR

LAURA RAPHAEL

DANIEL ROBBINS

Your student loan is probably not only the biggest amount of money you have ever seen but someone has just given it to you. Not to mention, as part of your student bank account you are now the proud owner of an overdra and possibly even a credit card. First of all, don’t get too excited. You are going to have to pay it all back, with interest. But you can make that money go a long way and there are money saving apps, free ones at that.

mySuperList

You’ll probably only appreciate this when you are eating pasta everyday, but to save you to getting to that point, mySuperList enables you not only to draw up a shopping list, but it will tell you how much you should expect to fork out for it and which is the cheapest supermarket to go to.

Vouchercloud

Come deadline day you’ll want to treat yourself and here is how to do it on the cheap. Vouchercloud uses GPS technology to root out all the deals and discounts going in your area. All you have to do is select the ones you like the look off and download them straight to your phone.

OnTrees

You know it has got bad when instead of checking your bank balance you simply pray that the transaction goes through. Don’t. Set up a budget and OnTrees will then keep tabs on all your incomings and outgoings so you can see how closely you are sticking to it.

Coupon Queen Saves Thousands of Pounds Do you like to think of yourself as a bit of a bargain hunter? A super scrimper, perhaps? Well, Maddy Tooke from Essex is here to put you to shame. The 26-year-old student has managed to save over a whopping £22,000 a year by using coupons! Maddy Tooke first starting using coupons when she left her £22,000-a-year job in the army and began to worry about how her and her husband would survive on just one wage. The 26-year-old super saver said: “When I gave up my job to study sports I was really worried about giving up the lifestyle my husband and I had become used to. We didn’t live the life of luxury but we enjoyed meals out, liked to decorate the house and I enjoyed shopping. But when I started looking into ways to save money I couldn’t believe how easy it was. Now I can’t believe I ever paid full price for anything.” Some of Maddy’s greatest savings include booking an all-inclusive sevennight holiday to Ibiza for just over £300, decorating her bathroom for £8.85 and saving £120 a week on food! The ex-medic said she started by looking at her food bill which came to

PAIGE WILLIAMS

around £150 a week: “I was shocked and realised it was down to us not planning meals and further wasting money by buying what we fancied rather than what was on offer. I started by buying food in multibuys and freezing it.” “I also googled voucher codes for products and supermarkets and printed them to use at the checkout. By doing this I got our food bill down to £30 a week.” Maddy also signed up to a variety of different online groups and recommends Extreme Couponing. “Another one is Ten Ways to Have More Money as a Student without Working. People give each other lots of advice on brands which have good savings that month or websites with the best vouchers — it’s amazing how much is out there”. It looks like even the tightest of us could learn a trick or two from Maddy! Extreme Couponing here I come!

STUDENT

DEALS DANIEL ROBBINS

Freshers, you will soon learn that an NUS card is your best friend (if you don’t already know). If you haven’t got one then it is a must over the ﬁrst couple of weeks and here are three reasons why.

If those ﬁrst few weeks are too stressful for you, why not go on a holiday? Even better why not get £65 off already discounted holidays? Well by using your NUS card at Student Universe you can do just that and travel to places such as Paris, New York or Sydney. What could be better?

If you are looking for something closer to home, who doesn’t love money off food, and pizza in particular? Well with your card you can get a 40% discount off your food and drink at Pizza Hut all day Monday and Tuesday.

Finally, a little more boring than the other two but you have to stock up on the essentials. That’s why the 12.5% discount you get at Rymans stationery will be vital for all students, whether it be for note cards or anything else, this is one that will come in handy all the time.

Dragon’s Den is an iconic show. Whether you know all the Dragons oﬀ by heart or just watch the show thinking of crazy ideas you could pitch, it is a programme that most would know a lot about. However, the stories of the people sat in the chairs opposite are often not as well known. Take Peter Jones for example. His journey is definitely one worth following. An avid tennis player, he would help a coach at his local school teach tennis whilst he was on his summer breaks. After four years, he decided it was his time to turn coach, opening his own academy at the age of 16 showing his first move from student to mentor. Like any businessman he has had his lows, but where he is now is certainly not one of them. Employing more than 1,000 people and generating sales of more than £250 million in the companies he has interest in, the Dragon’s Den show is just the start of the array of talents Jones has. When he isn’t focusing on his business ventures, he is ensuring that a further line of entrepreneurs follow him into the field. With Peter Jones Enterprise Academy’s in Amsterdam and Manchester, Jones is backing up his myth that entrepreneurs are born and not made. The example of his success story is no better example and don’t expect him to be falling away at any point soon.

Dragon’s Den show is just the start of the array of talents Jones has.

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

YOUR QUESTIONS: ANSWERED How To Spend Less on a Night Out

PAIGE WILLIAMS

NIGHTS OUT are expensive but they also come with the territory of being a university student so The University Paper has compiled a list of things you can do to save a few more pounds of your student loan. Drink at home before you go to the club. You can get a 70cl bottle of vodka for a tenner at Tesco. Yes, it might look and taste a bit like paint stripper, but student nights out aren’t about fancy drinks and hor d’oeuvres – they’re about getting drunk enough to tolerate the grungy dive that you plan on visiting later in the night. Don’t buy food on the way home. I know you usually crave carbs on your walk home, but food joints are risky places if you’re trying to save money. You go in with the intention to buy chips for a couple of quid and end up with a seven pound doner kebab which is bigger than your own head. You’re better off raiding the supermarket before you go out so you can commit a much cheaper carbocide when you return home. And you don’t have to sit on a cold bench trying to avoid eye contact with the homeless and shooing seagulls as you eat (or maybe you do, I don’t know how unlucky you were with your accommodation). Wear the same outfit you wore last time. Honestly, it’s fine. You’re going to get booze/food/sick (not necessarily your own or in that order) on it anyway, so why shell out for a nice new outfit that will just get ruined? The student population is very forgiving and if that hipster kid in your seminar can wear the same too-big jumper every week then you can go out wearing that top again (just make sure you wash it first).

Top Student Bank Account Options DANIEL ROBBINS

PICTURE CREDIT: SHUTTERSTOCK

ONE OF THE HOT topics before you join a University is what bank account to go with. Rather than looking at the freebies a bank might offer, the account with the largest interest free overdraft is where you should first look. Overdrafts are part and parcel of being a student and should be the main factor when you are choosing a bank. So which is the best bank to choose?

» SANTANDER - Best known for their adverts involved sports stars such as Jenson Button, Jessica Ennis and Rory McIl-

roy, Santander offer one of the best value student accounts. With a 0% overdraft of up to £1,500 and an added incentive of a four year 16-25 railcard, they are one of the first you should be looking at.

» HSBC - One of the highest overdrafts advertised plus some tasty incentives, HSBC is next in the pecking order. With a 0% overdraft of up to £3,000 dependent on credit score and a free £60 Amazon voucher upon sign up, they run Santander a close second in terms of value. They also don’t allow you spend beyond

your arranged overdraft, the only student account that does this which means you don’t risk huge overdrawn charges. Bonus!

» THE CO-OPERATIVE - Despite having their well aired problems, the Co-Operative bank do offer a good student account. They have up to a £2,000 interest free overdraft. not as high as some others, but more students have said that they get close to the full amount by the time they have finished. No freebies to talk of but remember it is all about the overdraft.

RUNNING YOUR OWN BUSINESS EASIER THAN EVER BEFORE

Getting a job straight after University is the Holy Grail for all students, but what if you could guarantee yourself employment and be your own boss at the same time? Sounds brilliant doesn’t it. Many people don’t see it as a viable option after they have finished their studies but forming your own business is easier now than ever before. A quick search in google and there are plenty of sites where students can get loans in a bid to turn business ideas launched into fully operating businesses. Take Enterprise Inc for example. Their aim is to improve the entrepreneurial skills of students who have recently graduated or are in their final year of study. To do this they offer a number of bursary options dependent on eligibility. New businesses are vital for the economy and that is why there is so much help out there for budding young entrepreneurs. Enterprise Inc offers a potential £5,000 support package for students that are willing to pitch a business idea to them. Offers don’t just stop at Enterprise either! The government has their very own website dedicated to start up loans as do companies such as HSBC, Barclays and Virgin. Surely we have all had that one idea that we have wanted to try out and if you are really serious about

New businesses are vital for the economy and that is why there is so much help out there for budding young entrepreneurs.

setting up a business help is out there, you just have to know where to look. So dust off your suit, form an idea & pitch it to a company. You never know where you could end up!

www.unipaper.co.uk www.facebook.com/theunipaper www.twitter.com/theunipaper

FIND US ONLINE

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

STUDENT CHEF

PICTURE:SHUTTERSTOCK

How not to poison yourself or your flatmates

Food safety might not be your top priority when you go to university but it is extremely useful to know all the rules and regulations prior to cooking either for just you or your housemate because at the end of the day you don’t want to poison your housemates. It may sound like a boring subject but it’s worth acquainting yourself with the basics. STORE FOOD CORRECTLY - Don’t store fresh and cooked meat side by side in the fridge or put fresh meat or fish where it can drip on to cooked food below. WASH THOSE HANDS! - Always wash your hands with soap thoroughly before starting to prepare food. And dry them with a hand towel rather than your tea towel that may be dirty.

DON’T PUT WARM FOOD IN THE FRIDGE - If you cook something to eat later or have food left over, cool it then refrigerate it as it could warm up the fridge thus making other food uneatable.

REHEAT FOOD THOROUGHLY - If you’re going to eat it hot always reheat it thoroughly which means bringing it to the boil and simmering it for at least a couple of minutes.

WASH UTENSILS Wash any utensils or chopping boards that you have used for preparing raw meat before using them for anything else.

PUT FOOD IN THE FRIDGE ASAP! Refrigerate fresh food as soon as you can after buying it. Don’t lug it round warm lecture rooms or leave it in the car.

USE BY DATES - Some products, such as fish or mince, go off quicker than others and should be eaten within a day of buying them. Products such as cheese or yoghurt have a sell-by date: Use it! TOP TIP IF IN DOUBT, CHUCK IT OUT.

TOP

FREEZER TO FRIDGE Don’t refreeze frozen food that has thawed.

EASY MEALS

FAJITAS

OMELETTE

FILLED JACKET POTATO

BURGERS

TOAD IN THE HOLE

With money tighter than ever before for the British student, it might not be such a bad idea for the old overdraft if you start making your own home meals an steer clear of the fast food and microwave meals. Here are 5 great ideas to get you started. They are all ludicrously easy to make, none of them require special equipment or training, and they may just save you some money!

● Chop an onion, red pepper and two chicken breasts and chop in to thin strips. ● Put together in a bowl with one teaspoon of paprika and some salt and pepper. ● Make your homemade salsa. After leaving to marinade for a few minutes, cook in a pre-heated pan for about 10 minutes. ● Warm your flour tortillas in the microwave. ● Serve with your home-made salsa, grated cheddar, sour cream and guacamole (you could even make your own homemade guacamole!)

● Mix two eggs with two tablespoons of milk ● Add some salt and pepper for flavouring. ● Heat some butter in a frying pan and add the egg mixture. ● After one minute, stir and reduce heat. ● Sprinkle your chosen ingredients (e.g. bacon, peppers,onions) onto the surface and wait for the omelette to set underneath. ● Sprinkle with cheese and then cook for two to three minutes. ● Then simply fold in half and serve.

● Wash the potato and prick with a fork. ● Rub salt evenly on the potato. ● Place in a pre-heated oven at 220C and cook for about 45 minutes until the potato skin is crisp. ● Cut open and accompany with your filling of choice e.g. Cheese, beans, coleslaw, salad, sour cream, chilli con carne, whatever you can get your hands on basically!

● Mix some minced beef (500g) in to a bowl with some salt and pepper with your hands or a spoon ● Dice a small onion and tip into a bowl alongside one egg. ● Roll the mixture into four balls and flatten to make burger-shaped patties. ● Put on a plate and cover and leave in the fridge to firm up for about 30 minutes. ● Cooking for about 15 mins Serve in a seeded bun with salad and any toppings that you desire! E.g. Cheese, bacon, the list is endless…

● Tip 115g plain flour into a mixing bowl. Add salt and pepper. ● Slowly add three eggs and 285ml milk, whisking as you go to create a smooth batter. ● Put some oil into a baking tin and place in the oven at its highest temperature. ● Add eight sausages and cook until lightly golden. ● Pour batter over the sausages & put back in the oven. Remove from the oven when the batter has risen and is golden and crisp. ● Serve with veg & onion gravy for the perfect Sunday lunch1

Now put down the Old El Paso packets and try this traditional homemade recipe. It is so easy and you can even control your spice levels by doing it home made. This recipe is for two:

Always a winner and its healthy! An omelette is quick and easy and can be tailored specifically to your tastes. Simply follow these instructions and you’re well on your way to a healthy diet:

Jacket potatoes are extremely easy but so many people manage to mess this one up. We would recommend waiting for the perfect jacket potato by cooking it in the oven...

We love burgers! Why go out and spend £12 each when you make your own gourmet burgers at home with all the trimmings and added extras. This recipe will serve four people:

Toad in the hole has to be one of our best dishes Britain has created! Get your housemates together and cook this one to feed four! The recipe below is to feed four students!

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

The Top Five Strangest Foods PAIGE WILLIAMS

PICTURE: SHUTtERSTOCK

World’s Most Expensive Food and Drink PAIGE WILLIAMS

PICTURE: SHUTtERSTOCK

Kopi Luwak, INDONESIA, £240/lbs Kopi Luwak, otherwise known as “cat poo coffee” (yes, you read that correctly) is the most expensive coffee in the world at £18 a cup. It’s made by collecting beans from the droppings of a cat-like creature called a civet. Tasty! Yet somehow I can’t see girls Instagramming their #catpoocoffee from Starbucks anytime soon.

Martini, NEW YORK, £6070 What’s the best way to wash down some of the most expensive food in the world? With a £6070 martini, of course! How do you like yours? Shaken? Stirred? How about with a diamond? The Algonquin Hotel in New York works with an inhouse jeweller to create a customisable diamond which is placed in the martini. James Bond, eat your heart out!

Strawberries Arnaud NEW ORLEANS, £2.4 MILLION Arnaud’s is a restaurant in New Orleans that ﬁrst gained notoriety for its £850,000 dessert but that dessert is now worth a jaw-dropping £2.4 million! This is because the original 4.71 carat ring that used to accompany the strawberries served in a marinade of port has been replaced by a 7.09 carat pink diamond. The co-owner of Arnaud’s commented that “needless to say, it is our worst selling dessert.”

Hot dog, NEW YORK, £1,400 A restaurant in New York, 230 Fifth, put all hot dog vans to shame when it released its £1,400 creation made out of 60-day dry-aged wagyu (Japanese cow) and topped with Vidalia onions caramelized in Dom Perignon, sauerkraut braised in Cristal, and caviar.

FUGU,

JAPAN - Fugu is Japanese for poisonous sea-devil. Only kidding, it means pufferfish, but it can be lethal if its toxic parts are not removed correctly. Only highly trained chefs are allowed to handle them and over twenty people have died in Japan after eating the fish since 2000. Seafood with a sprinkling of possible death? Sounds delicious.

PUFFIN HEART

, ICELAND Us Brits are supposed to have the heart of a lion. Well, in Iceland they apparently have hearts of puffins – and they eat them. The books of my childhood suddenly seem a lot more sinister… Fun fact: Gordon Ramsey received a number of complaints when he ate puffin heart on his show, The F Word. How heartless.

A-PING

, CAMBODIA Fried tarantula. People in Cambodia fry tarantulas and then actually eat them. They can be barbecued, grilled, fried or served on a stick. Looks like spiders have so much more versatility than just being washed down the plughole! Apparently they became popular during food shortages under the Khmer Rouge regime but seem to have stuck around. Why, Cambodia? Just - why?

YAK PENIS

, CHINA It’s also known as “Dragon in the Flame of Desire” and if that’s not a great name for a penis then I don’t know what is. Many Chinese believe it is also good for your health. Yum!

ROCKY MOUNTAIN OYSTERS,

US Testicles of a bull. In the good old US of A gnawing on some poor creature’s gonads is not just reserved for the Z-List celebrities exiled to the Amazon for entertainment purposes. The Yanks deep-fry them and they are often found at festivals. Maybe they should introduce them at Glasto. A guy wearing a bandana, playing Wonderwall and munching on a bull’s dangly bits – I can see it now.

TOP TIP -

JUST... NO.

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

MATCH THE QUOTE TO THE CELEB...

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman

I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating ﬁsh and I know that’s very popular out there

I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can

I wouldn’t run for president. I wouldn’t want to move to a smaller house

If everybody in the world dropped out of school we would have a much more intelligent society

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do

1. George Bush

4. Bono

7. Ronald Reagan

2. Arnold Schwarzenegger

5. Christina Aguilera

8. Elizabeth Hurley

3. Gwyneth Paltrow

6. Britney Spears

9. Jaden Smith

21 MARCH - 20 APRIL Your mood can seem intense early on this month with a desire to get organized and give 100% in the process. However, a lighter and brighter mood shines through as Mars powers into Sagittarius, highlighting options for adventure and travel. Later, the Libra New Moon on September the 23rd is perfect for a fresh start as far as relationships are concerned.

Taurus

21 APRIL - 21 MAY The focus on everyday interaction intensifies. The chances are there can also be positive news as you’ll be keen to resolve an ongoing issue with renewed determination. It’s time to make a few changes and clear the air. Later in the month there’s a shift towards health and wellness buoyed by the New Moon, making this an excellent time to start a new diet or exercise regime.

Gemini

22 MAY - 21 JUNE Romantic opportunities can shine through, along with a heightened awareness of your creative potential. Plus you might also find yourself in the spotlight around the time of the Full Moon on September 8th, with an opportunity to show your best face to the world. Later, as Venus glides into Libra, a fun liaison may also take on a sultrier vibe.

Cancer

22 JUNE - 23 JULY Though busy, you might enjoy some down time, with romance and pleasure options hopefully tempting you away from any chores. An existing relationship could become pleasantly passionate too. A sunnier mood showing up from midmonth is likely to entice you out of your comfort zone. Perhaps you’ll spruce up your home with a new look.

Leo

24 JULY - 23 AUGUST A positive and upbeat mood can encourage you to tackle an issue that’s been plaguing you for far too long. The first two weeks of September can see you show a determination to slice through problems and find much-needed solutions. The New Moon on the 23rd can be helpful if you’re taking a study course or want to collaborate on an important idea or project.

24 AUGUST - 23 SEPTEMBER You’re likely to be in your element for much of the month and ready to forge ahead with personal plans and goals. The Full Moon on September 8th might bring feelings out into the open regarding a relationship glitch, but if so try not to overreact. With Mercury edging into Scorpio late in the month, you can find yourself on a mission to hunt out the ‘truth’ of situations.

Libra

24 SEPTEMBER - 23 OCTOBER You may be motivated to take action regarding your financial affairs, only this time you’ll want to grapple with things once and for all. With Mars rocketing into Sagittarius on the 13th you may feel happier and more at peace with the world. Finally, the New Moon in your sign on September 23rd can help you to kick-start important goals or galvanise any existing strands.

24 OCTOBER - 22 NOVEMBER A sense of empowerment can help you power through obstacles and obtain your desired outcomes. Yet it’s not all work as social opportunities are likely to be plentiful too. Later in the month you could find yourself in a phase in which you’ll benefit from relaxing and recharging your batteries

(WE DON’T KNOW ANYONE CALLED ALICE, BUT IT SOUNDED BETTER THAN ALAN)

I prefer Facebook chat to clubbing and I’ve never been one of the “popular girls”. I’ve heard freshers is full on and I’m worried that it is going to be like a playground popularity contest all over again. I can’t wait for it to be over. Rebecca, Warwick Freshers will be one of the best weeks of your ﬁrst term, not because of beer pong or whatever else you have heard goes on… but for meeting people who have just descended on your campus from all over the world. And do you know what? They won’t know anyone either and will be just as nervous, even if they don’t show it. So don’t hide behind the glow of your computer screen, go to as much as possible, and check out the societies your Students’ Union has on oﬀer.

I’m starting university in just a couple of weeks but my loan hasn’t even come through yet. And did I mention I am going to be homeless? You see, I got accepted into university through clearing so was not able to apply for halls of residence in time and my university are saying there is nothing that can be done. Help? Homeless, London Whatever you do, don’t suﬀer in silence your Student Union are there to support you whatever happens during your time at university. You should also enquire about hardship funding for students experiencing exceptional circumstances. So take a trip to your SU to begin with. Also, easier said than done but don’t panic, there are alternatives to university halls and you can still have a great ﬁrst year. First of all check out private halls, this is student accommodation but it is not university owned. There are a number of these in London such as Urbannest and Unite however the rent is likely to be more expensive as they are not subsidised. You can also look at listings on websites such as www.studentspareroom.co.uk for rooms going in houses with other students.

George, Exeter That was quick thinking there George. I’m not saying your girl is a gossip but if she had noticed you would probably be the talk of the town. So don’t be embarrassed and ask her out on a second date, but do us all a favour and take her somewhere other than the boozer.

Virgo

Scorpio

ASK ALICE

I’m obsessed with this girl on my course. We’ve spent a lot of time together this summer and last week I ﬁnally plucked up the courage to ask her on a date. We were both down the local drinking and laughing too much, when I wet myself. I don’t know if she noticed as I pretended to spill a drink over myself to cover it up, but now I’m too embarrassed to even text her. What do I do?

HORRORSCOPES Aries

AGONY AUNT :

I’ve always thought Marilyn Monroe looked fabulous, but I’d kill myself if I was that fat”.

whenever you have the opportunity. Embrace nature where possible.

Sagittarius

23 NOVEMBER - 21 DECEMBER Pushing ahead with ambitious plans can boost your chances of success, even if you only take small steps to begin with. Little and often may ensure steady progress this month. Plus the ability to let go of hurtful past experiences can infuse you with new, vibrant energy. Finally, the feisty energies of Mars arriving on the 13th are sure to give you added pizzazz to explore new vistas.

Capricorn

22 DECEMBER - 20 JANUARY There’s likely to be a lot going on socially and this may well increase your enjoyment levels, potentially offering a chance to mix and mingle with some influential faces. However, go easy around the Full Moon on September the 8th as confusion could mar important interactions. With Venus gliding into Libra as the month draws to a close, a key relationship can help you.

Aquarius

21 JANUARY - 19 FEBRUARY Relationships in general can be at the heart of developments, as well as being fun and supportive and bringing added pleasures into your life. You can also be motivated to explore new options and expand your horizons by travelling, studying or moving in new circles. With your social life perking up, an opportunity to connect with new people and connect business and sociability is possible.

Pisces

20 FEBRUARY - 20 MARCH The Full Moon in your sign on September the 8th is likely to heighten feelings but also trigger a greater desire to discuss any issues. However, while this might be helpful with someone you trust, avoid being too honest with someone you don’t know well. Later in the month you may want to put energy into a plan that has potential but try to avoid promising more than you can deliver.

So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?

They misunderestimated me.

TR EN

Who Said What?

heart of d supportive r life. You ptions and udying or l life perking w people and sible.

ber the 8th is ger a greater while this ust, avoid n’t know to put entry to avoid

TOP 5: TR EN

TRENDING VIDEOS The One With The Friends Reunion JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE Kimmel’s late-night shenanigans regularly make for amazing YouTube hits such as “Epic Twerk Fail,” “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets,” or even “(I Wanna Channing) All Over Your Tatum”? However, this week, he staged a mini-“Friends” reunion that brought smiles to our faces and made our hearts melt. And proving that “Friends” nostalgia unites all of humanity: in just over 24 hours on YouTube, it cleared a whopping 6 million views. See the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4H2JHp5XOQ

Women hanging their bras in protest!

MENTAL AGILITY

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

Women in the Spanish town of Valladolid mayor’s rape comments prompt bra protest urging him to quit. Hundreds of protesters deck the city hall with underwear after Francisco Javier León de la Riva appeared to blame women for sex assaults.

See the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXZ2en7M890

2-year-old dominates the Ice Bucket Challenge (AND SWEARS!) A YouTube user recently shared a video that featured a two-yearold girl named Scarlett Rose Davis, from Walsall, who gives the most adorable and sincere apology after using the F word during her ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. The little one apologised for using the “naughty word” before running oﬀ to her playhouse in a cute fashion. We’d be cursing, too, if we had water dumped on us and we weren’t entirely sure what to expect! See the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAJ3xrMxoMU

Leonardo DiCaprio’s Ice Bucket Challenge HOW TO RAISE SOME MONEY & ROCK A MAN BUN! Leonardo DiCaprio was late to accept the Ice Bucket Challenge but he made up for it on Monday in a big way. Leonardo, who famously died in freezing water in the 1997 blockbuster Titanic, posted a video as he accepted the challenge. It is rumoured the actor also donated a whopping $100,000 to the ALS Association.

See the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwCgCrkdZAo

What “Wrecking Ball” sounds like on a recorder SPOILER: IT’S TERRIBLE. As students you know that there can be a lot of downtime and sometimes you just don’t know what to do with yourself when not doing university work. But one guy thought why not learn ‘Wrecking Ball’ on the recorder? The result was… interesting!

See the video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYd2dgHzcoU

DRINKING GAME OF THE MONTH: Higher or Lower

Everyone’s favourite dancing show, Strictly Come Dancing, is back on our screens so in honour of Brucie and his toupee, who both retired from the show this year (no more awkward jokes, yay!), The University Paper brings you a drinking game based around one of his greatest ever game shows – Play Your Cards Right. Good game, good game!

WHAT YOU WILL NEED: Three or more players, drink and a pack of cards. HOW TO PLAY: Deal a card to the first player. They must guess whether the next card will be higher or lower. If the guess is incorrect, the player must drink a number of fingers of their drink equal to the value of the card. So, for example, if the first card drawn is a 7 and the player guesses the next card will be higher, but the next card drawn is a 5 then the player must drink five fingers. If they are incorrect and a picture card is drawn then they have to finish their drink. If the guess is right, or if the next card is the same as the current card, they get another go. If they survive up to three cards they may choose to continue or to pass to the next player. You can spice it up by allowing each player who guesses right three times in a row to make up a new rule. e.g. you’re not allowed to cross your limbs, or you must say the opposite of what you mean. Players in violation of rules must, naturally, take a drink. *WE KNOW THAT YOU’RE SO SMART WE DON’T NEED TO REMIND YOU TO DRINK SENSIBLY RIGHT? CONSIDER YOURSELVES WARNED.

WIN PS4

AND

DESTINY IF YOU HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO LAY YOUR HANDS ON A COPY DESTINY YET, THIS IS THE COMPETITION FOR YOU AS WE HAVE A COPY OF THE GAME AND A PLAYSTATION 4 UP FOR GRABS. IF YOU HAVE BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK THE PAST MONTH, DESTINY IS A NEW BLOCKBUSTER MYTHIC SCIENCE FICTION SHOOTER BY THE MAKERS OF HALO. IT BECAME THE WORLD’S MOST SUCCESSFUL NEW GAMING FRANCHISE AFTER IT SHIFTED $500 MILLION UNITS WITHIN JUST 24 HOURS OF ITS LAUNCH.

SO IF YOU FANCY BAGGING YOURSELF OVER £300 OF GAMING GEAR SIMPLY EMAIL YOUR NAME, UNIVERSITY AND YEAR OF STUDY TO WIN@UNIPAPER.CO.UK ENTRIES CLOSE OCTOBER 13TH GOOD LUCK!

KNOW THE INSIDE

DO YOU

T R AC K O N

CAMPUS? IF SO THE UNIVERSITY PAPER WANTS TO HEAR FROM YOU. We are scouring the UK for student journalists, so whether you are looking for work experience or simply spending too much time in the SU, get in touch today. We are on the look out for opinion leaders and change makers who can write engaging copy. Your pieces will be printed in The University Paper which is read by thousands of students across the UK and you will get that all important byline - perfect if you are looking to build a portfolio. Not to mention that age old adage, it will look great on the CV. So if you would like to be an influential voice for the student community or just have a strong front page tell us what is going on - pitch your ideas to The University Paper, email: editor@unipaper.co.uk

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

Should you Work Part Time at Uni?

HABITS YOU

SHOULD TAKE

TO WORK

WITH YOU Getting into good working habits whilst at Uni is a good way to prepare for entering the ‘Real World’. There are lots of little things you can do whilst studying which will help you adapt and succeed at whatever career you pursue. Here are a couple…

From bar work to waitressing; volunteering roles to retail posts - the question of whether you should work part time at University is one only you can answer and needing the money (or not!) isn’t always the deciding factor. Here are our top reasons for taking on a part time role alongside your studies: YOU WANT TO BE SOCIAL Whilst University is no doubt one of the most sociable environments you’ll encounter, having a work team to count amongst your friends is a great feeling. Did someone say “after work drinks”?

YOU HAVE SPARE TIME Certain degrees require only a few hours of lecture and seminar attendance per week. If you’re keeping up with coursework but still have time to spare, why not put it to good use and take on a new job? Hours can be flexible to fit in with study schedules, or it may be the case that you’d prefer to plan your weekends around a set Friday night shift.

YOU WANT TO ENHANCE YOUR CV If you’re smart about it you can tailor your work experience to fit in with your degree. Whilst there may not be a weekend job in biomechanics, if you’re into fashion – why not take a role in a department store? If you’re learning about leisure and tourism, a travel agent’s would be a great place to gain some relevant experience and supplement your degree.

BE TIDY – Tidiness isn’t the reserve of those with too much spare time, it is an indicator of an organised mind. Reduce the clutter on your desk and you will not only have a better environment, but you will find things much easier. You wouldn’t want your future boss to think you were messy!

MAKE LISTS & PRIORITISE – Lists aren’t restricted to shopping, Christmas and things to do before you die. Start making lists – personal and work ones – then get cracking once you have prioritised the important tasks. Once complete, tick it off to feel a satisfying sense of accomplishment. Businesses use tasking software such as Basecamp and even Outlook to keep track of projects – use them now and you will find integrating them into your job much easier.

CV-Library can offer numerous part time job opportunities and further learning courses (many for free) across the UK. Register for free today and get searching to find the perfect role for you.

PROFESSIONAL INSIGHT :

How to Make Life Easier for the ‘Future You’

‘The future,’ may well be the last thing on your mind when you’ve just started university, however, it’s never too early to start thinking about how you can make life easier for the ‘future you’! For graduates, standing out from the crowd is important, and if you’ve spent the last three years adding worthwhile work experience and life skills to your repertoire, you stand a much greater chance of landing that dream job. Here are CV-Library’s top suggestions for improving your CV as you go along:

TAKE A PART TIME JOB Employers love a hard worker, and by that we don’t mean someone who never hits pause or goes out to play. If you show willing to use some of your spare time for working instead of partying, this will greatly improve your employability later on. Taking a part time role at weekends or during the times you’re not in lectures could make all that difference for your post-university job applications.

LEARN FROM YOUR MENTORS Most Universities will assign mentors to help students along with their degrees and coursework. Attend your meetings- listen to their opinions and learn what you can. Most importantly – if you can – bond with them. When you graduate and find yourself looking for a full time role, you’ll be happy to have a

go-to referee to vouch for your personality and attitude. Plus, if you’re keen to get into academia or their field of expertise; their insights and experience could prove invaluable.

MAKE THE MOST OF THE OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE TO YOU Hiring managers love seeing evidence of someone who is willing to put their all into making the most of the opportunities available to them. Whether you volunteer as a student brand ambassador, take part in the student elections or even an active role in a uni sports team, everything you can do to show an interest in personal development will mean bonus points for you later on in life. Take it from us - don’t just coast along at university; grab every opportunity you’re given with both hands. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

WWW.CV-LIBRARY.CO.UK

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

OPPORTUNITIES NATIONAL

BIRMINGHAM

Graduate Graduate Recruitment Sales Consultant Executive

Sales Associate

Sales

Representative

(permanent)

£20000 - £40000/annum +£40K + Benefits London Job ID: 20a1421118

£25000/annum

Birmingham

Manchester Job ID: 201421283

Market Rates Job ID: 201437880

Commission based, Market Rates Job ID: 118445041

You would be recruiting into both contract and permanent positions. Initially you will start in a resourcing role which will support a substantial part of your training. This Graduate role will eventually see you placed in a 360 Recruitment Consultant role in a fast-paced and lucrative industry. You will be developing new business, increasing your candidate network, attending meetings with clients, interviewing candidates and be writing and posting professional job adverts.

Civil engineering or environmental science graduates are required for this leading British manufacturer. Based within the manufacturing facility you will report into the Director of Business Development and help manage major projects with local authorities, utilities providers and associated contractors. Dealing with engineers, you will assist with enquiries, produce quotes and close business.

This is sales associate role in a retail environment. This team is made up of people with a real passion for quality customer service and for creating amazing customer experiences; people who work hard to develop outstanding product knowledge and expertise that they can share with customers.

Graduate Software Developer

Graduate

(permanent)

Electrical Design

Engineer

(permanent)

£20000 - £25000/annum

Southampton Job ID: 201419012

Leeds Job ID: 201403764

A large multinational company is looking for a number of Graduate Java Developers in the Southampton area. Graduate Developers must be passionate about software development. You will ideally have some skills with Java, but any coding experience with C, C++ or C# will also be considered. The position will be highly varied and will include designing, writing and testing highquality code as you work alongside experienced developers.

This multi-disciplinary practice operates Worldwide and deals with buildings, transport, environment and energy to an award-winning standard. You will have the chance to work on a fantastic range of projects where you will be designing systems for hospitals, data centres, banks, offices and schools. You would have just finished a degree course in building services or are currently in your final year able for day release.

(part-time)

Description: This is a fantastic opportunity for independent sales work within the local area. No transport is required, and as the role is commission based, your earnings could be limitless. Hours are flexible to fit around a busy lifestyle.

Retail Sales Administrator Assistant (part-time)

(part-time)

Birmingham

£7.00 - £8.00/hour JOB ID: 201409698

£6.50/annum Job ID: 201350709

A training and assessment company based in Birmingham is looking for a part time administrator. The ideal person will have a positive approach, excellent time management and administrative skills. You must have the ability to think quickly on your feet and work well under pressure.

A large telecommunications organisation is seeking a Retail Sales Assistant to join their busy and enthusiastic team. You need to be the sort of person who can talk to anyone. You don’t have to be an expert in technology but you will need to be a fast learner, with lots of enthusiasm and positivity. Your duties will involve serving customers on the till, meeting and greeting customers and giving advice on products.

To find out more and apply for these jobs please visit www.cv-library.co.uk

WWW.CV-LIBRARY.CO.UK

SPECIAL

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

ACCOMMODATION

SURVIVING HALLS NISHA MODHA, BETH WOOLMAN, HARDEEP KAUR

PHOTO CREDIT: LAURA PEBERDAY

ASTON STUDENT VILLAGES Going to University can be a scary experience, and living in halls away from home can be even more terrifying! However, once you get past the awkward first meeting of your flatmates, you come to realise it’s actually great. You’ll have many floor and block parties to socialise and make new friends. Not to mention the buzzing freshers presesh which the helping aunties host at Aston University! There is always a helping hand available if you have any problems in your halls, and the best part is, your kitchen and bathroom get cleaned every week!

UNIVERSITY OF BIRMINGHAM: MAPLE BANK THE VALE Maple Bank is where you can have some of your richest experiences of university life. It’s packed with people not only from across the UK, but around the world, so you’re bound to meet amazing people. I had the privilege of living with a Korean, a Nigerian, a Canadian and French woman, which made for a great mix of excellent meals, music and customs. Maple Bank is situated on the beautiful Vale be sure to watch out for hedgehogs and badgers. It’s also close enough to The Duck and Scholar to roll out of bed and straight into the bar with your friends.

BIRMINGHAM CITY UNIVERISTY: CURZON GATEWAY Firstly, ensure you stock up on food. There aren’t many supermarkets nearby, so plan ahead when you food shop or get used to ordering your shopping online. Keep your key with you as the doors are unpredictable and you will get locked out at the most inconvenient time. Don’t forget to make use of the common room; the TV in the common room is rarely used during the day and it has Sky on which is an added bonus. Finally, remember to give out your entire address, including your block letter or you won’t receive your mail.

THE HEIGHTS Don’t get left behind, make sure you get to know as many people as you can during your first weeks. Bring earplugs If you’re a light sleeper because you’re living in a place with so many people and where every night is party night. Make sure you personalise your space too; every room has the same basic set up, so to make it feel a bit more like home add your own touches.

GHTS

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

Your guide to student areas in Birmingham

et left ake sure CIARAN A-CAMPBELL, LAURA PEBERDAY, LAURA PICKERING know as PHOTO CREDIT: NATALIA ALYUKOVA ple as you g your first ng earplugs SELLY OAK - UOB light sleeper Although it is typically occupied by second and third year students, ou’re living first years may find themselves in Selly Oak, either by being allocated to Jarratt or Victoria Halls, or because the university was unable to with so allocate them halls. It can be as little as a 3 minute walk into University, ple and ry night is and the city centre is a mere 10 minute train ride away. t. Make sure Some freshers in Selly Oak find they’ve landed on their feet nalise your – with bars, pubs and takeaways, and not to mention the moneyevery room saving Aldi. Any friends in second or third year tend to only be a few me basic set minutes walk away. make it feel like home - PERRY BARR - BCU Home to Birmingham City University’s City North Campus and 2 wn touches. halls of residence, Perry Barr has all the amenities to make a great student area. For all your student essentials, head to the One Stop Shopping Centre, only a short walk from halls. This includes a large ASDA superstore, Wilkos, Ryman and many more. Venturing out of Perry Barr is no problem as transport links are excellent. There are over 10 buses and 2 trains every hour to the city centre. If sport is your thing, head to the Doug Ellis Sports Centre. The centre houses a fully equipped gym, with amazing discounted rates for BCU students.

UNIVERSITY TOP 9’S:

ESSENTIALS ANDY STEWART

PHOTO CREDIT: ANDY STEWART

Nine suggestions that get skipped on the standard university inventory lists:

1 2

Lap tray – Odds are you will not have a proper kitchen table. Good quality toilet roll – A wise man once said, “The secret to a happy life is a good quality loo roll.”

Mattress topper – Make the most of a night’s sleep.

Flask – A hot tea/coffee in a 9am lecture can be a lifesaver.

Salad box – Save money and time, bring your own lunch into campus.

A recipe book – Never feel at a loss in the kitchen again.

Bicycle – Get around cheaply and quickly while keeping fit.

First aid kit – Deal with freshers’ flu and other related accidents.

Flip-flops – Showers can be unhygienic places.

EASTSIDE - BCU

ASTON STUDENT AREAS With most freshers choosing to live in University halls, it is easy to become accustomed to life with a cleaner and living in close proximity to lectures and town. Moving out in second year doesn’t mean you have to lose all of these perks. Most second year students reside in Sanctuary Students, The Penworks or The Heights. Jennens Court and Aston Brook Green are also chosen by some, with all of these being five to ten minutes from campus. Most students move to private halls, however houses are available nearby in Selly Oak and Perry Barr.

ALICE MATTHEWS

JOSIE BOSTON

Home to Millennium Point, The Parkside Building and 2 halls of residence, the Eastside area of Birmingham is an up-and-coming area for students. You are a short walk away from the city centre and all its facilities, ranging from shopping centres, cinemas and even Europe’s biggest library. You are in the perfect spot to make the most of everything Birmingham has to offer. In the centre of the new developments you’ll find Eastside City Park. Having opened only last year, the park with its water fountains and grassed fields is fast becoming a hub for students.

HOUSEMATES YOU’LL INEVITABLY LIVE WITH AT UNIVERSITY

PHOTO CREDIT: LIBBY NICHOLSON

UNIVERSITIES ARE FILLED with different people yet somehow everyone seems to come across the same roommates.

THE BORROWER - “Those shoes are adorable, do you mind if I borrow them?” Cue: everything you own now will be a shared item. THE MANAGER - “So I’ve typed up a

THE MUSICIAN – Welcome to waking up every morning to your housemate’s clarinet practice, or being kept awake every night to over-distorted guitar. Just ask nicely if they can leave tonal exercises until after 11am.

rota for cleaning, it would be really great if we all stuck to it.” This flatmate will tell you that a cleaning rota is essential, just like the labels they made for the fridge.

You won’t get to know this housemate. They’ll come to you if they get bored of their own space.

THE CLUB PROMOTER Them: “I got us all tickets!” You: “But it’s Tuesday, I’ve got an essay.” Them:“You won’t do it.” You:“I know, I’m going to watch Netflix in my onesie.” Them: “Oh. Well anyway, it’s £5 each so…”

THE EARTH CHILD “The landlord said I can’t dig an organic veg patch in the garden, but you can’t own the earth!” Digs all afternoon. Discovers it’s September and there’s nothing worth planting until May.

THE ONE YOU NEVER SEE…

PHOTO CREDIT: JOSIE BOSTON

10 MISTAKES YOU’LL PROBABLY MAKE The first time moving away from home can be scary, but exciting too! You can’t control how big your room is going to be or whether you’ll get decent flatmates, but here is a list of the top mistakes you will make living away from home – so you don’t have to make them! You’re welcome.

1 2 3 4 5

Judging whether or not you need to do laundry by how many pairs of pants you have left, often resulting in you buying more pants instead. This means you only wear your nice clothes approximately once a term. Thinking that the novelty of bringing the entirety of the Guild back to your flat for an after party is a great idea, until they start eating all of your food. Partying in the luxury of not having to clean up your pots and pans the night you cook, and then having to find a blowtorch to clean them 2 days later. Overcooking/undercooking/generally ruining your food. Your mum probably didn’t get it right the first time either, but she didn’t only have £2 left in her bank account to buy replacement food. Spending all of your money on nights out and student discount clothes before you realise that food, shampoo and toilet paper no longer magically appear in your house.

Only buying junk food on your weekly shop, and craving fruit and veg within about a week.

Not locking your front door. Sounds obvious but you would be surprised.

Attempting to live on beans on toast. It gets boring real fast let me assure you.

Not labelling your milk and cheese. People will steal it. Thinking that the money from your student loan will be ‘plenty.’

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

SPORT

TEAM WHICH PROFILES THE ESSENTIAL QUESTIONS

sports team is for you?

ANDY STEWART

PHOTO CREDIT: UNIVERSITY OF BIRMINGHAM DODGEBALL CLUB

ASTON BEARS SWIMMING AND WATER POLO CLUB LAURA PICKERING

Can’t decide what sport is for you at University? Try this quick quiz to help you ﬁnd the right one for you. Which word best describes you? A) B) C) D) E)

Innovative Happy-go-lucky Hard-working Laid-back Passionate

A) C) B) D) E)

Pick a colour. A) B) C) D) E)

ASTON BEARS have experienced vast success despite being one of the smaller sport societies on campus, a point reiterated by their title as the university’s ‘Sports Club of the Year 2012-2013’. Last year the women’s water polo team made the national ﬁnals, while the men’s team won the U-polo league.

During the BUCS competition the men’s swimming team managed to reach the ﬁnals in both the individual medley relays and freestyle disciplines. Winning accolades such as Aston University’s ‘Most Improved Club of the Year 20112012’, this is an opportunity not to be missed. Why not attend the taster session during Freshers’ Week and get involved?

BCU NETBALL

BIRMINGHAM WOMEN’S 1ST FOOTBALL

A rave Camping with friends At the pub Beach Party SPORTS NIGHT!!

Which animal do you best associate with?

Indigo Green Grey Yellow Red

A) C) B) D) E)

How would ideally spend your day oﬀ ? A) B) C) D) E)

What would be your ideal night out

PHOTO CREDIT: ASTON SWIMMING AND WATER POLO CLUB

At a vintage sale Relaxing Hiking up a mountain Having a BBQ on the beach Out doing something with friends

Emu Wolf Sloth Kangaroo Lion

Which character trait would you most look for in a friend? A) C) B) D) E)

Individual Patience Relaxed Purposeful Dedicated

CALUM SEXTON

THE RESULTS

MOSTLY A’s & B’S

MOSTLY C’s

MOSTLY D’s

Try ultimate frisbee or ten-pin bowling – You’re not a run of the mill athlete. You have an individual, different and light hearted personality and enjoy trying something out of the ordinary. (Other sports for you: dodgeball, windsurfing and ninjitsu)

You should try mountaineering – Hardworking, enduring and enjoys some alone time. You are the lone wolf that constantly tries to push himself or herself further. (Other sports for you: fencing, golf, and cross country)

Try Aussie rules football or rugby (League/Union) – You like to party and being the centre of attention. You’re a team player and a great friend to have. Rugby players are passionate and purposeful people who enjoy a night out.

If your answers were mostly D’s try Aussie rules football, it’s obvious you are an Australian at heart! (Other sports for you: hockey, lacrosse, and football)

PHOTO CREDIT: BCUSU

BCU NETBALL was Birmingham City University’s team of the year 2013/14, hosting 3 teams all in competitive leagues in the process. They’re determined to build on their second place ﬁnish last time around so it’s a good a time as any to be a part of it. The social aspect is also just as important to them. “Netball is the best way to get the most out of your university experience. Why wouldn’t you want to join somewhere where you can spend time with your friends and get ﬁt whilst doing it?” - Wise words from the new social secretary, Holly Barr.

THOMAS DODD

PHOTO CREDIT: UOBWFC

WOMEN’S FOOTBALL is a growing game and the 1st team at Birmingham is a fantastic example. With competition within a team that has gone from strength to strength in recent years, the start of a new season should be more than enough reason to get involved. Promoted from the Championship in 2010/2011, 3 solid seasons in the Northern Premier League have followed and a run to the semi-ﬁnals of the Cup in 2012/13 highlights the high level of coaching aﬀorded to an already very talented squad of players. To get involved, be sure to go visit the team at the Sports Fair!

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THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

SPORT

TOP SPORTS

SOCIETIES

LAURA PICKERING, JONATHON RUSSELL, YASHI WAY

PHOTO CREDITS: REBECCA PAWLYN, ROBERT PAGE, CHARLOTTE WILSON PHOTOGRAPHY

ASTON UNIVERSITY

BCU

UNIVERSITY OF BIRMINGHAM

Though the university may be small, its success in the sporting world is notable due to the extensive list of societies on offer. Indoors, outdoors on land or on water, Aston University has something for you. Aston’s ‘Snow Club’ was voted by students as their ‘club of the year’ this year. They offer members the chance to ski or snowboard every other Thursday at the Tamworth SnowDome. Meanwhile, their socials kick off with a huge ‘welcome back’ party and prize giving at Rooftop after the final session at Tamworth. Regular house parties are also held during the course of the year and this year’s tour will be in Pas de la Casa during the Easter holidays. For just £359 it looks set to be the biggest and best tour yet! The Aston Swimming and Water Polo Club is a small, yet successful club which was ‘club of the year’ 2012-2013. Main social events include the Baywatch Handover, a Rubik’s cube social, pub golf, and an annual summer tour. Water polo and swimming training occurs five times a week, with all abilities welcome. They compete in the BUCS and U-Polo league, as well as travelling to Sheffield twice yearly to compete against members of the GB team. If you fancy something different, Aston Hornets Ultimate Frisbee Club could be perfect for you. Training sessions combine cardiovascular work with team-building sessions that are designed to develop your skills. Socials have previously included Star City trips, along with the annual tour that has visited Rimini and Salou for beach tournaments and nightlife. Finally, a popular society on campus is the Aston University Stags Football Club, for which there are three teams. Teams train separately on Monday nights, however all members train together on Thursday nights. Weekly games are followed by a social night out every fortnight. Most societies hold a taster session during Freshers’ week so you can try different sports before joining. To find out more information, all societies included in this article have designated Facebook pages. If you’re still feeling uncertain, don’t panic! There are many societies not mentioned here on the university website.

Birmingham City University is an institution that is on the rise. This is proven by the all-new facilities of the Curzon building on their Eastside campus. BCU’s sports societies are no different, with many teams making their mark on the landscape of Birmingham and the West Midlands. First up is Extreme Sports which is the largest society at BCU. The club provide a large number of hugely popular socials across the year, including exciting trips away that vary from snow-sports to surfing weekends; this club is a must for the thrill seekers amongst us. The BCU Cheerleading team has recently been voted as the most improved sports society. Their enthusiasm for cheerleading is reflected in their successes at the United Kingdom Cheerleading Association last year, finishing first in their category. This society is the epitome of BCU’s rise; they look set to achieve great things this year. Next is the BCU Football society which is divided into both men’s and women’s entities. All new to women’s football this year is the introduction of a second team, thus providing a greater opportunity for more women to experience the beautiful game. Meanwhile, men’s football has recently undergone an overhaul of society leaders, with the new leadership team looking to make football one of the most active and social societies within BCU. Finally comes Women’s Hockey, a society that is renowned for being one of the most socially active societies and is also among the most successful. Boasting an undefeated record throughout the 2012/13 season, the women’s hockey side ran out as champions of their division. As well as this, they also achieved the accolade of Committee Of The Year for 2013/14. These are just four of the sports societies available to join at BCU, there are many more societies to choose from, all of which are available on BCU’s website. All societies employ an equal opportunities policy, so if you’re enthusiastic and want to join, you’re more than welcome. For a full list of available sports societies go to http://www.bcusu.com/sports.

If you are unsure of which clubs to join at the start of this new academic year, look no further; we have hand-picked some of the best for you. Some sports societies stand out from the rest for their excellent facilities, brilliant getaways and raging nights out. Here are the ones we recommend: Brumski The ski and snowboarding club is the University of Birmingham’s biggest sports society with over 600 members. With their weekly lessons that appeal to both beginners and advanced ski-enthusiasts, there is something for everyone and it is needless to say that their weekly, large scale nights out and events are a big hit. In 2014, Brumski took part in BUDS (the UK’s biggest student ski and snowboard competition) and came third. If you want to get in touch with the society, you can meet them every week at downstairs from Joe’s Bar between 1 and 2pm, Monday-Wednesday and Friday. Badminton Whether you are a beginner who wants to have some fun or an elite player itching to display your cat-like reflexes, the badminton society is the place for you. This bunch of talented players have a record of consistently ranking in the top four nationally and have taken part in the BUCS Nationals and the Birmingham Leagues, winning a bronze medal in 2014. The society offers a ‘try before you buy’ initiative so you can meet up with other potential badminton players for a game before deciding whether it’s your cup of tea. To get involved, check out the badminton stand at Freshers’ Fair. Women’s Rugby Union After three successive defeats, this summer has proved to be a luckier time for England as they once again become Rugby World Cup champions for the first time in two decades. The University of Birmingham’s Women’s Rugby Union offers you the chance to unleash your inner Emily Scarratt by joining one of their two teams with the opportunity to play in the Premier North league or the BUCS league. The club is ‘open to ladies of all ages, shapes and sizes’ with no minimum skill level required. No excuse not to get involved!

5 TYPES OF PERSON YOU WILL MEET IN ANY SPORTS TEAM

HARDEEP KAUR PHOTO CREDIT: CHARLOTTE WILSON

Sports teams are made up of a bunch of outgoing and interesting characters. You see members walking around in their matching tracksuits, fundraising and just generally being more active in a day than you are in a week. But whether it is basketball or extreme sports, you are guaranteed to find these five people in any sports team:

THE HEALTH EXPERT: This person is ludicrously over-passionate about being healthy. Despite studying a degree in engineering, they believe with all their heart that they are also a nutritionist, physiotherapist and personal trainer. You will regularly find them instagramming pictures of their green juices and healthy salads along with a few sneaky gym pictures.

THE THIRSTY ONE: The thirsty one is desperate for some attention. The only reason that they joined the football team was because they thought that it would make them more appealing to the opposite sex. And they’re constantly reminding everyone too - ‘did I mention that I am in the football team?’

THE BIG SURPRISE: Sport is definitely the last thing you would expect this person to do. So when they finally reveal the fact that Ju Jitsu is their thing, what you’re really thinking is ‘You...do... sports?’

THE EXCUSER: This person has found a way to use their cricket practices and matches as an excuse to get them out of everything and anything. One of the only things you have heard them say all year is ‘Can I leave this lecture early please? I have a cricket match at 3pm’.

THE COMMITTED ONE: The Committed One’s identity is solely defined by the sport that they love. Whether it is a kickboxing screensaver on their phone or a constant upload of kickboxing videos to their Facebook page, every inch of this individual’s being screams that they are truly committed to the sport they love.