The University Paper Edinburgh - November 2014 by The University Paper

EDINBURGH NOVEMBER 2014

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ALLEGED NAPIER HAZING INITIATIONS CASSIE DONEY

PICS: KATIE ACKERLEY & ZACKY BENASOUDA

THIS YEAR, Fresher’s week at Napier was shrouded in controversy after alleged hazing in society initiations, and the lack of response from the university. Several societies are being rumoured to have performed humiliating initiations on fresher’s wishing to join clubs or sports. Hazing is an escalation of normal initiation rites, which are usually harmless fun, and has caused several deaths in American universities. Initiations also caused an incident outside one of Napier’s first year halls, Riego Street, where members of the Napier Hockey team were allegedly disruptive to the point that security had to be called. The team took to the Riego street courtyard with initiates on the night of the 24th of September. According to Riego Street resident Kimberley MacNee, “they were doing the rallies dressed as cops and robbers, with alcohol at each end of the race that they had to take a swig of.” One of the residents at the halls, who wished to remain anonymous, said, “they were mostly really loud and very drunk. The whole ordeal lasted about 20 minutes; they did wake up most of the residents. The senior residents were forced to call security, but by the time they arrived, everyone had moved on.” However, she also told us that it wasn’t only the hockey team who were causing trouble; one of the students at Riego Street escalated the situation in a way that could have ended up in tragedy. “As they were leaving, one of the onlookers threw a bottle after them.”

Despite the disturbance, there seems to be no ill-will between the residents and the hockey club. A different anonymous resident told us, “It was a little unnerving as not everyone knew it was going to happen. However the hockey captains seemed to have it under control and even cleaned up after the games were done.” Heather Hotchkiss, president of the society, said, “Apologies to the Riego residents, we did make the effort to head along pretty early so we wouldn’t be disrupting people’s sleep.” Heather also refutes any ideas that the hockey society was involved in hazing. “We were keeping an eye out for our freshers. We told them, on the Monday training and on the night, that if they were uncomfortable with anything they didn’t have to do it. We also had non-drinkers there who still joined in and we made the effort for all our games to be something they could enjoy.” Heather continued to say, “I wouldn’t classify it as hazing because there isn’t anything from that night that I would be embarrassed of as a club, but admittedly these things could easily get out of hand. I think the initiations title makes it sound a lot worse than it is, we used it more as a bonding experience for the team and the freshers have all said they really enjoyed the night!” Although the hockey team seem to have taken care of their freshers, the same cannot be said for other societies within the university. There have been

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 19

SPIDER VS FRESHER

JOEL GUTTERIDGE PICS: BRONWYN GRAY

ONE UNLUCKY Napier student had a terrifying ordeal worthy of a horror film this fresher’s week – arachnophobes, look away now. The first few weeks of university are notorious for one particular illness - the dreaded ‘fresher’s flu’. However, while her flatmates were dealing with the typical cold and killer hangover combo, first year Social Science student

Bronwyn Gray suffered from a very different ailment; a venomous spider bite. Eighteen-year-old Bronwyn was bitten on the arm by an unidentified venomous spider. Although she has confirmed she hasn’t developed super powers as of yet, the nasty marks left after the bite suggest this is more than your average house spider. No, you have not picked up the wrong paper. This is

not some Australian outback student newspaper. This is Edinburgh and Bronwyn’s case is not an isolated incident. Reports from all around the United Kingdom have emerged of strange looking spiders – the usually rare false widow - and unusually bad reactions to their bites. Bronwyn’s reaction was especially bad. She had to rush to hospital after noticing the unusual bite

in her rapidly swelling arm, which she describes as “all red and with lines coming out.” What’s even scarier is that she’s still not exactly sure what happened. “The doctors weren’t sure what it was, but said last time they saw something like that it was a spider bite.” After being prescribed with antibiotics, Bronwyn is

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 19

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THE UNIVERSITY PAPER

NOVEMBER 2014

L CAL NEWS

NSS SURVEY REVEALS EDINBURGH IS A PRESTIGIOUS UNIVERSITY WITH UNSATISFIED STUDENTS LAUREN MCWILLIAM

PIC: FRANCESCA STREET

THE UNIVERSITY of Edinburgh is consistently ranked as one of the best universities in the world. In the QS World University Rankings 2014/5, Edinburgh was only one of six UK Universities in the top twenty. (It came in at a cool 17.) Despite this, student satisfaction at Edinburgh remains notably low. The recent 2013/14 National Student Survey (NSS) reports that Edinburgh students rated their overall satisfaction with their time Edinburgh at only 82%. This is 4% lower than the UK average. In terms of student satisfaction alone, Edinburgh ranks a low 185th in the UK. The University also has the lowest rated student satisfaction in Scotland. Low student satisfaction ratings have long been a problem for Edinburgh: in 2008/9 the University gained the lowest score of all the universities in Scotland for feedback and assessment. Nevertheless, Edinburgh remains incredibly high on the tables for academic achievement. The low satisfaction ratings could perhaps be attributed to the size of the university: fellow Russell Group members, the University of Bristol and Kings College, have also received below average ratings. Many students commented on delayed

feedback and lack of detail in their marking: 36% of students stating that they did not receive detailed enough comments on their work. Evidence suggests students also want improvement in areas that the University are not willing to change. Last semester a petition with 2803 signatures was put forward to the University by EUSA asking for exam diets to be released earlier. The University stated that this was not possible. The different schools of the University of Edinburgh have adopted various approaches to improve levels of student satisfaction. The school of Literature, Languages and Cultures have increased the amount of time students get with their personal tutors and introduced an open doors policy. The School of Physics and Astronomy have decided to implement a student task force. The voluntary task force will produce a report detailing everything they feel needs to be improved; the school will subsequently review their concerns. Ross Galloway, one of the staff heads of the task force, said of the incentive: “By putting the power directly into the hands of students to tell us what they really think, uncensored and in full, we hope to get the detailed insight needed for real, effective change.”

LOCALS OPPOSE STUDENT HOUSING SIGNE AKMEŅKALNE

PIC: SIGNE AKMEŅKALNE

A PROJECT to develop the former Mecca Bingo building into student flats has met with fierce opposition from local residents. Vita Student Ltd. plans to redevelop the Fountainbridge building into “luxury apartments”, mainly for students from abroad. A spokesperson for the company stated, Edinburgh is a top destination for international students, a market which demands high quality accommodation.” While projects like this could inject money in the area and give local businesses that extra boost, the Fountainbridge Canalside Initiative (FCI), has been vocal in their objections. Pat Bowie, chairperson of the FCI, says purely financial factors should not be the most important when making the decision. “Do we do everything for the economic value, or should we look for a balance?”

And Bowie explains that the opposition and concerns raised are not based on any prejudice against students. “It’s not about the students or the noise. We already have a lot of students living in the area.” Fountainbridge being largely an office space and business dominated area, Bowie says that FCI are a driving force in the attempt “to create a real community for people of all ages living here.” Therefore the trouble with even more student housing is that, as she explains, “There’s a lot of very transient community, [students] are not here to put down their roots, to grow old here. Instead, it’s creating a false type of community.” It is however unlikely that the project will be scraped.

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LFRESHERS CAL NEWS GUIDE 4

NOVEMBER 2014

HERIOT WATT STUDENT INVENTS BIOPRINTER CASSIE DONEY

PIC: OLLIE BUCHANAN

The bioprinter is an amazing new step for student developments WE ALL know that students are the future. And Alan Faulkner-Jones, who is doing a PhD in Mechanical Engineering, is bringing the future to us fast. Alan has invented something called the bioprinter, which can be used to create 3D structures. But this is no ordinary 3D printer; the end product of this machine is made out of actual cells that Alan calls bio-ink. Lost? Us too – Alan gave us a layman’s summary of his incredible research, and says “the bioprinter uses similar technology to a standard inkjet printer; bio-inks are loaded into cartridges and droplets are dispensed.” When the project is complete, the printer could be used to make human cells to test new medical drugs on, which could potentially mean the end of animal testing. Alan’s been featured in the scientific press a lot since his invention was made public; but the research is far from over. He tells us about the journey that is still to be made. “The project began in 2010 and is continuing through to at least 2016. It’s entered the second phase and I’m

still a key member of the team. We are currently looking into liver, pancreas and cardiac tissue generation.” And it hasn’t all been smooth sailing for the scientists. “It was initially difficult to acquire funding, but I eventually secured a prize studentship from the Scottish Universities Physics Alliance (SUPA).” Feeling inspired? Alan told us that universities are key in making new developments in science. “My research institute is continuing to expand. Students and their supervisors together are at the forefront of research.” Alan’s amazing research puts our half-done essays to shame; but it is great inspiration for science students everywhere.

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Edinburgh Students Not Supported in their Protest LAUREN MCWILLIAM

PIC: MICHAEL JAMES-SHAW

EUSA Will Not Provide Transport to the London Demonstrations.

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The University of Edinburgh has ruled not to provide free transport for students wanting to attend the upcoming Free Education demos. In 2012, EUSA took two hundred and fifty students to London to support the movement. However, this time round the council voted against attending the demonstration, which is due to take place on 18 November and is backed by the NUS. Brianna Pedago, EUSA President said that: “The feeling in the room was that many students were particularly engaged throughout the referendum and want to focus their efforts on campaigning on more local issues.” According to one EUSA Council Member who wishes to remain anonymous, the Association do not think the turnout for this event would be high enough to justify the cost of transport. They believe they could be spending money on more productive areas of social policy. EUSA feel that most students believe these demonstrations will not achieve change. Concern was also raised about the organisations involved in the demonstration, as some of the council members did not want to be affiliated with the NCAFC. Despite the ruling, the EUSA council member argued “I personally think that since the student council have six thousand pounds to spend, then it’s justifiable to spend nine hundred pounds so students can decide for themselves if they want to partake.”

THE UNIVERSITY PAPER

NOVEMBER 2014

Up Close and Purr-sonal with Library Cat:

FRANCESCA STREET

PHOTO CREDIT: LIBRARY CAT FACEBOOK

NAPIER STUDENT LAUNCHES LABEL

DONNA FOULIS

PIC: RORY MILLER

Can you imagine landing your dream job before finishing your degree? Third year Napier student Rory Millar has managed just that by starting his own record label, Nailhouse Records, which launched on October 9th. He told us about his aim to revitalise the Scottish music scene: “I’ve always wanted to get into music and studying music technology has helped get the ball rolling. Then my band, Soufon Fang, thought - why not self-release? I want to get the Edinburgh scene going a bit more because the talent is definitely here.” Instead of wrestling with a weekly rota, Rory determines his own schedule, “I find it easier to juggle this with uni as I’m not having to answer to

An Exclusive Interview with the University of Edinburgh’s feline celebrity... THIS MONTH, The University Paper had the honour of interviewing one of the University of Edinburgh’s best known, furriest and most enigmatic faces: the legendary Library Cat. Library Cat is a majestic black and white feline who spends his days roaming the area around the University of Edinburgh’s main library in George Square. He has long been recognized as the true BNOC of the University of Edinburgh, beloved by students and lecturers alike. In December 2013, Library Cat’s innermost thoughts and philosophical musings began appearing on social media. His entertaining and thought-provoking posts were a hit and he quickly became an Internet celebrity. Eleven months later and Library Cat has just hit 4500 Facebook followers and his fans eagerly await his next update. Library Cat’s posts describe his thoughtful musings: his posts reference Kant and Sartre, comment on hot topics such as the recent Referendum, describe the ins-and-outs of cat life and makes amusing comments on Edinburgh University institutions (Library Cat views the Hugh Robson Essay Bunker as ‘a pallid hot void of whirring machines’ and is naturally disappointed by the lack of mice.)

Want to find out more about Library Cat? Read on for our exclusive interview and for more of his unique words of wisdom. UP: Can you tell us a bit about Library Cat’s background, what made him decide to hang out outside Edinburgh University’s library? LC: On the Library’s third floor, just beyond the draft of the West Stair - where the scents of printer toner, coffee and paper commingle - Library Kitten made his first bounding steps atop a special book known only to the humans as PR6023.A66 Lar. Sniffing the book’s jagged edges, he tentatively advanced his miniature paw off the book and onto the deep, wiry carpet. And then he started thinking. For he was destined to be Library Cat; to etch between the colours of his mind; to think, to dream… and not to do. UP: What prompted Library Cat to begin sharing his thoughts and philosophical musings on social media? LC: Library Cat became acquainted with a human medium who could read a cat’s thoughts. UP: Does Library Cat have any words of wisdom for Edinburgh students? LC: Thinking is not everything.

an employer. During the summer break I laid down the foundations for the label so I can prioritise uni work now.” The label launch spells good news for Rory’s future career, “By starting up Nailhouse Records I’m putting my studies into practice. It’s useful to get this going whilst I’m still in uni, that way I could graduate with a degree and a fully functioning business.” The launch gig features up and coming artists such as Cuckoo’s Nest, who are releasing their EP through Nailhouse Records later this year. Keep your eyes peeled for Nailhouse Record’s exciting new music and future gig nights in Edinburgh and Glasgow!

COMMENT FRESHERS

GUIDE WHERE ART THOU

NOVEMBER 2014

THE UNIVERSITY PAPER

SPECIAL

We confront the issues that ma er to you, right here on campus. Have an opinion? Contact us at: editor@unipaper.co.uk to have your say

THE BIG QUESTION

BY ISABEL WOOD

Fresher’s Fifteen: Fact or Fiction?

A recent study revealed that eating can be addictive; so is weight gain at university inevitable or avoidable? WEIGHT GAIN is an inevitability that every first year is told to expect. However a new study by researchers at Edinburgh University has found that sugars and fats are not actually addictive, but eating is. So, can piling on the pounds in first year be explained with the cry of ‘I’m addicted to sausage suppers’ or is it just another university myth to be debunked? Recent surveys by Slimming World found that sixty-seven per cent of students put on between one and five stone within months of arriving at university. But if not an addiction to sugar and fat, then what causes us to mysteriously pack on the pounds? The answer seems obvious. When you unleash young people, Home Alone-style, into the world, in their first months of freedom they are probably going to indulge. Suddenly, it’s easy ordering a late-night takeaway and you reach for the alcohol more than the water. Drink Aware highlight that a couple of pints contain as many calories as three whole burgers, and it’s evident that the average first year consumes far more than this. Leeds University found that almost fifty per cent of undergraduates drink more than the recommended fourteen to twenty one units a week. In terms of burgers, that’s well over thirteen. Of course, although the majority of freshers do gain weight, there’s still that thirty-three per

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cent who don’t. These statistics demonstrate that though first year weight gain is common, it’s not inevitable. Students can’t blame an addiction to sugar and fat for an increase in weight. Rather they can point to stress, to loving food and alcohol, and to needing an emotional boost in the early stages of their ‘adult’ lives. Weight gain is a choice; it’s not handed out with your Fresher’s Pass.

SPARE COMPUTER?!

LIZZIE LONGLEY

COMPUTERS ARE an everyday necessity for people around the world and without them we would be lost. People have become so dependent on computers, whether it’s for browsing random things on the internet, online shopping or studying for a degree, computers are constant in many people’s lives. So why is there never any available to use in the university library? The library is always full to the brim of students on the computers, but very rarely are they doing work. I’ve seen people watching funny videos on YouTube or listening to the latest Number 1 in the music charts. The amount of girls that use the library as a room to online shop is endless and I wouldn’t be surprised if you caught boys having a cheeky look at porn and giggling to themselves. I don’t condemn these people for using the computers for these things because like them I online shop and endlessly watch YouTube videos (minus the porn) but when they are taking up a computer that is needed for educational use that’s when it starts to get irritating! It’s not just the students that take up all the computers for unnecessary use, it’s the random

CONTACTS

EDITOR: Cassie Doney COMMENTS EDITOR: Tilda Gregg-Smith WHAT’S ON EDITOR: Louise Dickie UOE EDITOR : Francesca Street NAPIER UNIVERSITY EDITOR : Lidia Molina Whyte QMU EDITOR : Sophia Saheicha

astray of baggage and jackets that claim a seat. So many times have I gone over to what I thought was a spare computer to find a jacket taking charge of the seat without a body in sight. Whoever it is that leaves their stuff there for hours must be a very trusting person. But, when a jacket is taking over the chance for you to work you know there is an issue. I say all this but I’m sure I’m probably guilty of all these things (again minus the porn) so I don’t really have room to talk. I don’t believe there are enough computers in the library to accommodate to the vast amount of students, whether doing work or not there still should be enough computers on campus for the students to use. We are spending £9000 a year after all….

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SPECIAL

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

Indepth, Insightful, & uncompromising: Interviews by ANDY WELCH

A Good Ed On His Shoulders Ed Sheeran is sitting in his dressing room in Melbourne Cricket Ground. In the background, Tom Jones can be heard soundchecking. “WE’RE SINGING the Prince song, Kiss, together,” says Sheeran, “but we’ve already rehearsed that.” The night before, Sheeran and his new pal Jones - who performed together in Australia last week went out for a few glasses of wine, and 74-year-old Jones regaled 23-year-old Sheeran with stories of appearing in The Simpsons and hanging out with Elvis Presley in Las Vegas back in the day. This is the world in which Sheeran now lives, where rather than him seeking out the biggest names in music to learn from, they request an audience with him. Elton John asked to perform with Sheeran at the Grammy Awards in 2013, and Paul McCartney, after the special concert earlier this year, marking the 50th anniversary of The Beatles landing in America, invited him to his trailer for a margarita. “I wasn’t expecting that one. I was with my parents and ready to go home for the night, and the next minute, that happened,” he says, like it was no big deal. He counts Taylor Swift and Harry Styles among his closest showbiz friends, and while recording his second album x last year, Friends star Courteney Cox let him stay in her Malibu home. Sheeran had been performing in LA when Spin City and Scrubs creator Bill Lawrence, and his actor wife Christa Miller, asked if their daughter could have her photo taken with him after the show. “The next night, I was having dinner in Malibu and Bill and Christa were in the same restaurant. They came over to thank me for being nice to their daughter and then invited me to a house party.” “I thought, ‘Why not?’ It turned out to be Courteney’s house party. It was miles from anywhere, and I’d sent my driver home so I had to stay over, and that’s when we became friends,” the singer explains. He’s a long way from Framlingham, the Suffolk village where he grew up, but spend any amount of time with Sheeran and it’s not hard to understand why so many A-listers want to hang out with him; he’s impeccably mannered for a start, and down to earth in a way most multi-million-selling artists just aren’t. Unassuming isn’t the word. He admits he’s changed a bit, though, since his first album was released and worldwide fame followed. He’s a bit more paranoid, and wary around new people, he says, but he’s generally much happier with his lot than he was three years ago. “I was quite well known among people my age, from the mix-tapes and YouTube videos that were doing the rounds, so I would get stopped and asked for photos and things,” he says. “That still happens, although back four years ago, I was broke, so there wasn’t the upside. Now I’m financially comfortable, and I’ve made my family financially comfortable, so I can see the rewards.” Other musicians seek him out too, including Pharrell Williams and producer Rick Rubin, who both went to Sheeran offering their services on a collaboration. The track with Williams, Sing, resulted in a No 1 single, while Rubin produced two tracks on x pronounced multiply - Don’t and Bloodstream. Of Sing, he says it was the first time he’s tried to write a song without a deep, emotional meaning. “Going in with Pharrell, I knew I wanted to

“I knew I wanted to make a bona ﬁde pop song ”

make a bona fide pop song and we were just trying some things out. It’s just me explaining how I had fun on a night out, had a drink and had a dance with a girl, and that’s it.” “I’ve never really done that before, and it was nice to do it and to not worry about how it would make people feel, and whether it was me opening up enough. I just wanted to write a song that was fun.” He says if the aftermath of his debut + taught him anything, it was that his songs were being used as emotional crutches by his fans. “I’d get people talking to me saying they’d listened to my record on their own in their bedroom, while eating ice cream and crying, or that they’d listened to my record after they’d broken up with a partner, so it was a very melancholic album.” “I learned I need to give people some fun here and there. I am not a hugely depressed person, I like to have fun and the melancholy doesn’t reflect who I am. Sometimes, it’s just good to sing about stuff that’s pointless. Talk Dirty by Jason Derulo is not a song that comes from a lot of heartbreak or upset, but it is a great pop song, and I want to do that too.” Despite the success of his first bona fide pop song, he still doesn’t see himself as a pop singer, however much he’d like to be “I really want to be in that world, among those big pop singers,” he says, referring to the likes of his friends Taylor Swift and Pharrell Williams. I think I am placed in that world when it comes to award shows and things, but I don’t get mentioned

in the same sentence as those stars when it comes to music.” If he’s not seen as a pop singer yet - he’s more your little brother’s scruffy mate who plays the guitar - it won’t be long. So far, x is the fastest-selling album in the UK this year, having sold 180,000 copies during its first week, beating Coldplay’s Ghost Stories, which had previously held the record, by around 15,000 copies. “Yeah, but,” counters Sheeran, “that Coldplay album is the only one they’ve not really promoted, so they could still beat me if they wanted.” His grasp of the way records sell is second to none, and some might accuse him of careerism. It’s simply not the done thing for an artist to admit they’re so acutely aware of how their music is selling, or how many tickets have sold for a forthcoming tour. Of course, Sheeran’s not really an exception here - almost every artist is just as aware of this stuff as he is, he just talks about it in interviews, while they feign ignorance. After the UK leg of his tour, he’s off around the world again, due to finish up next August, when he plans to take a break and write some more songs. “This is the first tour I’ve ever done where I set off on one date and know when I’m going to finish. All my other tours have started, and then 30-date tours in other countries keep getting added as we go along,” says Sheeran. “This time, it’s structured, and if there’s one thing I’ve been lacking for the past few years, it’s structure.”

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

WHAT’S ON

The BEST nights this Freshers week & throughout the month

THIS MONTH FRIDAY 17TH OCTOBER

● The Pleasance Sessions: A Night at the Theatre with Jo Mango @ BEAM ● The Pleasance Sessions: Black Diamond Express @ BEAM ● The Pleasance Sessions: Alastair Ogilvy @ BEAM ● Flux Fridays @ WHYNOT ● Friday Night @ THE JAM House. ● Wonky @ HENRY’S CELLAR BAR ● Four Corners @ THE BONGO CLUB SATURDAY 18TH OCTOBER

● The Pleasance Sessions: The Phantom Band @ BEAMBEAM ● The Pleasance Sessions: Remember Remember @ BEAM ● The Pleasance Sessions: Birdhead @ BEAM ● The Egg @ WEE RED BAR ● Club: Big ‘n’ Bashy @ THE BONG ● Pop Rocks! @ ELECTRIC CIRCUS ● Nightvisions2MANYDJS (Hostage) @ THE LIQUID ROOMS

SUNDAY 19TH OCTOBER

● Mad Tango Open Mic @ THE BLIND POET

● Edinburgh Revue stand-up and sketch comedy show @ PLEASANCE CABARET BAR ● The Sunday Sinner @ THE JAZZ BAR ● Fifty/ Fifty @ THE BONGO CLUB ● The Club @ THE HIVE ● Coalition @ SNEAKY PETE’S

● Wednesday is the New Saturday @ HENRY’S CELLAR BAR ● Tribe @ THE LIQUID ROOMS ● Teatime Acoustic @ THE JAZZ BAR ● Cookie @ THE HIVE

MONDAY 20TH OCTOBER

THURSDAY 23RD OCTOBER

WEDNESDAY 22ND OCTOBER

SATURDAY 25TH OCTOBER

● Madchester (Edinburgh) @ THE LIQUID ROOMS ● Nightvision @ LA BELLE ANGELE ● Soulsville @ THE BONGO CLUB ● Nightvision: XPLICIT @ LA BELLE ANGELE ● Robigan’s Reggae @ WEE RED BAR SUNDAY 26TH OCTOBER

● Out of Bounds pres. FlicFlac @ THE LIQUID ROOMS ● Red Raw with Dylan Moran @ THE STAND COMEDY CLUB ● Precious Few @ BANNERMANS ● The Pop Group (JD Twitch) @ VOODOO ROOMS ● The Lounge @ TEVIOT JAZZ IN TUESDAY 21ST OCTOBER

● Grassroots Comedy @ PLEASANCE CABARET BAR ● Hive Tuesdays @ THE HIVE ● Hector’s House @ CABARET VOLTAIRE ● Dirty Sexy Tuesday @ LULU

● Temple Thursdays @ SILK ● Big Band Night @ THE JAZZ Bar ● Bounce @ LOLA LO ● Max Burwell’s Rockeoke @ THE BLIND POET ● Juice (Oneman) @ SNEAKY PETE’S ● Shangrila @ THE LIQUID ROOM FRIDAY 24TH OCTOBER

● Just Beatles LOOK UP @ VOODOO ROOMS ● Flux Fridays @ WHYNOT ● Frisky Fridays @ SILK ● Pandemonium @ OPIUM ● Friday Night @ THE JAM HOUSE

● Marcel Lucont @ THE STAND COMEDY CLUB ● Hawklords @ THE MASH HOUSE ● The Sunday Sinner @ THE JAZZ BAR ● The Club @ THE HIVE ● Sunday Service @ THE BLIND POET MONDAY 27TH OCTOBER

● Teviot Jazz @ THE LOUNGE ● Flare Mondays @ WHYNOT ● Mixed Up Mondays @ THE HIVE ● Dusky @ THE LIQUID ROOM ● Nu Fire @ SNEAKY PETE’S TUESDAY 28TH OCTOBER

● Grassroots Comedy @ PLEASANCE CABARET BAR

● Hive Tuesdays @ THE HIVE ● Hector’s House @ CABARET Voltaire ● Dirty Sexy Tuesday @ LULU ● Hive Tuesdays @ THE HIVE WEDNESDAY 29TH OCTOBER

● Scream Baby Scream (Dead XIII+Gouls STNE Valley) @ BANNERMANS SATURDAY 1ST NOVEMBER

● Night in the Garden @ ROYAL BOTANIC GARDENS ● Bubblegum @ THE HIVE ● After Dark Rum Club @ LOLA LO ● WhyNot Saturdays @ WHYNOT ● Tease Age @ Citrus Club

● Wednesday is the New Saturday @ HENRY’S CELLAR BAR ● Tribe @ THE LIQUID ROOMS ● Teatime Acoustic @ THE JAZZ BAR ● Cookie @ THE HIVE ● Witness @ SNEAKY SUNDAY 2ND NOVEMBER ● Edinburgh Revue stand-up PETE’S and sketch comedy show @ THURSDAY 30TH OCTOBER PLEASANCE CABARET BAR ● Night in the Garden @ ROYAL ● Night in the Garden @ ROYAL BOTANIC GARDENS ● The BOTANIC GARDENS ● Fifty/ Black Lips @ ELECTRIC CIRCUS Fifty @ THE BONGO CLUB ● ● King Eider @ SNEAKY PETE’S Ska Sunday @ THE CITRUS CLUB ● The Deepend of the ●Temple @ SILK Weekend Open Mic @ THE FRIDAY 31ST OCTOBER BLIND POET ● Journey to the Twilight Zone 2014 @ SECRET LOCATION ● Circus Lates Halloween Special @ ELECTRIC CIRCUS ● Halloweird @ Sneaky Pete’s ● Vitamins’ Ghost Tour @ SNEAKY PETE’S

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THE UNWRITTEN RULES OF HIVE The Hive is a popular late night haunt for students due to its dual dance floor and unpretentious atmosphere – as well as its Marmite mix of music styles! You will inevitably end up here at some point, and you’ll probably see half your course on the dancefloor bopping along to cheesy pop or rock after a few shandies. Here are some dos and don’ts for what could just be the best night out of your university career. Firstly, DON’T expect a stuffy, luxurious club! Hive is a far cry from some of the more pretentious clubs in Edinburgh. Go with an open mind, a group of friends who like a laugh and you are bound to have a great night. With a different club theme every night of the week, The Hive is offers possibly the most diverse music selection in Edinburgh. So DO go here if you like to mix it up. Hive Tuesdays, Misfits Fridays and Bubblegum Saturdays are the most popular due to their student friendly environment. The Hive is one of those unique places where you’ll find yourself head banging in a mosh pit and dancing the Macarena all in the same night. DON’T worry about breaking the bank in this place.. Weeknights are free

ALICE FERGUSON

entry apart from Fridays and Saturdays when it’s free before 10pm and then £4 after. Drinks start at £1 and pints of beer at £2, meaning a night out here will cost no more than £10-£15 even if you have the drinking capacity of a rugby team. So what could be better when your student budget is stretching a little? DO enroll for The Hive VIP card program for exclusive offers such as cheaper drinks and queue jumping. As if it could get any better?! The Hive’s not just for DJ sets either! So DO check out their live music and comedy listings throughout the year. Finally, DON’T take yourself seriously when it comes to your Hive night out. Wearing your oldest skinnies, a t-shirt and trainers will be fine and you won’t feel like you should have dressed up. If you are a girl, I would recommend not wearing heels either. This place has a lot of stairs and uneven flooring which after a few vodkas… well, you do the maths. So if you are looking for a place where you can sip margaritas and die of boredom, this isn’t the club for you. But if it’s good music, cheap drink and great atmosphere you’re after, then The Hive will definitely fulfill your needs.

SPOOKY PUB CRAWLS

RACHEL MCNIECE

Mystery and pubs are abundant in Edinburgh, so combine the two this Halloween! The ‘Ghostly Guide to the Old Town’ tour takes you down the Royal Mile, exploring the vaults below the city; perfect for whetting your thirst for the night ahead! ‘Rose Street Challenge’ is practically an Edinburgh tradition. Create your very own pub crawl with a watering hole only a few paces from the last! And if you want to finish your night in spooky style, end up at Frankenstein’s (just don’t venture to the toilets on your own, it’s creepy down there!) or Banshee’s Labyrinth, apparently the most haunted pub in Scotland. Happy Halloween!

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NOVEMBER 2014

11 Need a little something to spice up your pre-party? Check out Mindbenders

» MINDBENDERS ON PAGE 28

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

BY PHIL HAMILTON

PICTURES: BANG SHOWBIZ AGENCY

NUDE PHOTOS OF KELLY BROOK have been leaked online

The 26-year-old model - who recently split from her ﬁancé David McIntosh - is the latest star to have intimate images of herself, which include her lying naked on a bed, posted online and she is said to be “very upset” about the leak.

A FRIEND of Kelly told The Sun newspaper: “She is naturally very upset. “She may have profited from images of her body in the past, but these were private images pumped out to the world. She’s horrified.” The brunette beauty was previously named in a list of celebrities whose private photos had been targeted by online hackers - which is also said to have included stars Jennifer Lawrence, Kim Kardashian and Kate Upton - but denied the existence of the stolen images. She said at the time: “The only nude photos that you’ll ever see of me are the ones that I ‘leak’. And the ones that my head are superimposed on.” Fellow victim Jennifer Lawrence - who was targeted for the second time last month when trolls released a further 55 x-rated images of the star on websites 4Chan and Reddit has spoken out for the first time following the scandal and has defended her decision to take the nude shots. She said: “Just because I’m an actress does not mean I asked for this. I was in a loving healthy relationship for four years. It was long distance and either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he’s going to look at you.”

Ed Sheeran listens to Britney Spears and N-Dubz’s greatest hits albums when cooking. THE FLAME-HAIRED singer likes to rustle up his own meals when he is not busy touring the globe and he can’t get enough of the 32-yearold singer’s successful songs because he is a “big fan” of both her and the pop trio. He said: “I’m a big Britney fan! I’ve actually got her greatest hits, I cook to it. I cook to Britney’s greatest hits and N-Dubz’s greatest hits - what does that say about me? Seriously, I’m not joking.” Ed also admitted he would love to write a song for Britney one day but insists it would resemble her slow song ‘Everytime’ rather than her more fast-paced eﬀort ‘Work Bitch’. He added: “She’s had consistent hits for a while but I wouldn’t write ‘Work Bitch’. It’d be something a bit more like ‘Everytime’. Remember that one?” When Ed isn’t penning tracks for pop superstars he could be found performing at his fans’ weddings after he accepted a supporter’s

PROFESSOR GREEN SLAPS CONCERTGOER PROFESSOR GREEN slapped a concertgoer on Friday night (03.10.14). The 30-year-old rapper was caught on camera getting into a scuﬄe in the middle of his gig at Durham University’s Student Union Welcome Ball after a member of the audience shouted abuse at him. However, the scrap didn’t last for very long as the ‘Remedy’ hitmaker - whose real name is Stephen Manderson - returned to the centre of the stage to explain why he ended up swinging his arms at a fan. He told the audience: “That’s what happens when you call me a c**t. Are we going to have a f***ing good time tonight or what?” A representative for Pro Green, who is

married to reality TV star Mille Mackintosh, conﬁrmed that the star had got into an altercation with a fan during his set and the student was later escorted oﬀ the premises. The spokesperson told the Daily Mirror newspaper: “During Professor Green’s live show at Durham University on Friday night, a student verbally abused Green repeatedly and then went to strike him. Green reacted. The student was subsequently escorted out from the venue for being too drunk. Green carried on the show to perform his full set.” Pro Green then appeared to reference the aggressive situation on Twitter after the show but later deleted the post from his social networking site.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE SAYS SHE FELT SEXUALLY VIOLATED AFTER HER NUDE PHOTOGRAPHS WERE LEAKED ONLINE.

invitation to perform at her nuptials in February 2016. After being asked by the lucky fan at an #AmazonFrontRow Q&A in central London yesterday (30.09.14) whether he would play on her big day, he replied: “That’s actually a possibility because I’ve got nothing booked in February 2016. It’s not on my birthday either. “We should talk. Do you have a card? Give me your work card. I’ll drop you a line. If I’m not working then it’ll be cool.” Ed Sheeran performed live for customers at the #AmazonFrontRow event at the Amazon London oﬃce roof top. For more information on Amazon Music visit www.amazon.co.uk/music

The 24-year-old actress, who is dating Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, admits she was very upset and angry after hackers stole dozens of private images from her iCloud account and posted them on websites in late August. The Oscar winner told Vanity Fair magazine: “It is not a scandal. It is a sex crime. It is a sexual violation. It’s disgusting. The law needs to be changed, and we need to change.” The ‘Hunger Games’ star also hit back at critics for suggesting she shouldn’t have taken or stored the intimate images in the first place, insisting they were only meant to be seen by her ex-boyfriend Nicholas Hoult, whom she split from earlier this year. She said: “I was in a loving, healthy, great relationship for four years. It was long distance, and either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he’s going to look at you.” The blonde beauty initially planned to apologise for the photographs because she was worried about her career. But she said: “Every single thing that I tried to write made me cry or get angry. I started to write an apology, but I don’t have anything to say I’m sorry for. Just the fact that somebody can be sexually exploited and violated, and the first thought that crosses somebody’s mind is to make a profit from it. It’s so beyond me.” She added: “Just because I’m a public figure, just because I’m an actress, does not mean that I asked for this. “It does not mean that it comes with the territory. It’s my body, and it should be my choice, and the fact that it is not my choice is absolutely disgusting. I can’t believe that we even live in that kind of world.”

NOVEMBER 2014

MUSIC LITTLE

SIMZ LAURA RAPHAEL

ALREADY A hip hop heavy weight, there is definitely nothing pint size about Little Simz. Having been picked up at the tender age of 16 by Radio 1Xtra’s DJ Semtex, she has gone onto receive critical acclaim from superstars such as Jay-Z, headline a gig in Times Square, not to mention she has just been nominated for two MOBO awards. The MC honed her craft at St Mary’s Youth Club in Islington, alumni to stars such as Alexandra Burke, and if 2014 is anything to go by Little Simz will be another name to add to the roll call. So remember you heard about her in The University Paper first.

LIFE OF THE PARTY? ALWAYS OUT AND ABOUT? Did you catch up with our snappers? Check out pages 10 and 11 to see if you made the cut.

2014 has been quite the year with the release of E.D.G.E and your Madia Vale session with Huw Stephens, how has it been for you? I didn’t expect for my EP to do that well which is always good to exceed your expectations. And to be like the first unsigned rapper to do Madia Vale is a good achievement in my eyes. Huw has heavily championed me throughout the year so for him to give me that opportunity was crazy. How was it playing the BBC 1Xtra stage at Reading and Leeds this summer? I felt it was inevitable that it would happen but when it actually did I was like “shit this a surreal” but it was sick and hopefully I can do Glastonbury and Wireless next. I was actually meant to play Glastonbury this year, but I was in New York and our flight got oversold so we were stuck in the airport. I felt like it happened for a reason, I don’t think I was supposed to play this year, but at the time I was so annoyed. You have received a lot of underground acclaim through SoundCloud, that and for recording in your bedroom, do you prefer the stripped back approach? Where I am not signed everything has to be done myself and it is hard to get a big push especially releasing music, there are only so many outlets. It is not conscious decision, it is just me having freedom for now.

me a lot, but I have comes to terms with it now. There isn’t an easy way to describe it, but I feel that this is bigger than me being a female or even a rapper. I want to be an entrepreneur and a humanitarian and I hope music is going to take me to those place in life. Considering you are only 20, how does it feel having been championed by the likes of Zane Lowe? I feel like I have a long way to go. I’m studying Music Technology Specialist in West London and learning how to balance things. I was thinking of dropping out because the last year has been so crazy. But I want to challenge myself, to break barriers and prove that it is possible to have a degree and be unsigned, instead of say having a particular look. What’s next for Little Simz? I am going to be working on new tracks and doing a collaborative project that I can’t name just yet, but it is going to be exciting. But right now? I am just trying live to be honest. I have done a lot musically, there was a point where I was writing everyday and it was getting repetitive as I was talking about the same things. So I am just trying to be 20 and live this uni life and be me in order to have more to write about.

Have you been approached by any labels yet? I have been approached by everyone, but I don’t feel like I want to be signed right now. I’m in no particular rush or eager for a deal. I would like to more business minded before signing away a lot of my power, especially when I am an up and coming artist. I feel like I have worked too hard to hand my music over to a group of executives, they need to understand me, my music and my vision first. What is it like being a female rapper? I’ve tried not to let that phase me and look at myself as an artist regardless of gender or age that instantly categorises me. It used to bother

How to become a hipster in 400 words

PICTURES:OLI POULTER

THE UNIVERSITY PAPER

OLI POULTER

THE RISE of hipster culture seems to have emerged through the amalgamation of the nerd and the suburban street wise kid, giving birth to this cross hybrid contradiction. After the drug crazed intensity of the rock and roll era, it now seems to be classed as cool to use big words like ‘idiosyncratic’ and talk about Avant guarde films with apparent ‘deeper symbolic meanings’. We’ve been observing these fascinating creatures and have come up with a few simple steps to show you how to jump on the bandwagon and become as edgy as ever. A fixed gear bike is key to any kind of success in the hipster arena. Weird wacky colored wheels are only the start of your newly found creative lifestyle. Fixies are limited to 1 gear only and are commonly ridden without brakes, to slow down you must reduce your pedal rate. You can design your own fixie with infinite combinations of crazy colors at http://www. mangobikes.co.uk.

Music is a large part of anyone’s life and when it comes to embarking on your new expressive lifestyle, weird music is a must. Your ITunes must be packed to the brim with undiscovered tunes comprising of odd distorted bass lines and un-quantised beat loops that no one really enjoys to listen to let alone dance to. It’s real easy to let yourself go and dance to Jason Derulo in Forum on a Friday night, but we suggest you maintain your hipster front by seeming unimpressed and make a request to the disc jockey for some unknown music group that may not even exist. Check out the boiler room for some outstanding role models in the hipster music scene. When it comes to clothing anything goes. From bomber jackets with deliberately tasteless color schemes to ridiculously long silk shirts, it’s all good stuff as far as the hipster assemblage are concerned, just make sure the clothes you buy are vintage to really enhance the bohemian theme you’re looking for. Be

sure to check out Wavey Garms on Facebook for more ideas. Finally on to the gratuitous additions. From the research we’ve undertaken it seems compulsory to wear some kind of overbearingly big glasses whether you need them or not. Facial

hair for the guys is optional, but we think it really adds that edge. Unfortunately the plight of the dreaded top knot still seems to have a firm grip upon the hipster community but we advise against it, quite frankly it looks like a cry for help.

NOVEMBER 2014

TECHNOLOGIC PHIL HAMILTON

TECHNOLOGY EDITOR

GADGETS

GRILLING MACHINES

GAMES

MOBILES

COMPUTERS

THE UNIVERSITY PAPER

TABLETS

APPS

BEAT YOUR MEAT

Remember George Foreman? Here are two of the best machines out there giving the boxer’s grill a hiding.

REVIEWS BREVILLE HALO+ HEALTH FRYER RRP: £169.99

I CAN remember a time when most households in Britain had a deep fat fryer. What could be better of an evening than crispy chips and fried sausages all cooked in the same pan of oil which could catch fire at any moment and burn down the house in minutes? Then the health police told us it was bad for our hearts and arteries and everyone got rid. Now I have the Halo+ Fryer in my life, the fryer for the “health conscious”. You only need to use half a tablespoonful of oil to cook 1kg of chips in this one. And if you have any doubts that they won’t come out delicious, think again. My first attempt produced a plate of golden brown, crispy on the outside, fluffy on the

TEFAL OPTIGRILL BLACK DO YOU like eating mouth-watering steak but don’t have the energy or will to turn it over mid-cooking? Do you like chicken but don’t have the attention span to watch it to make sure it’s cooked and won’t give you salmonella poisoning? Do you enjoy the delicious taste of lamb chops but can’t be bothered to fry them in a pan? Well now you don’t have to with the Tefal OptiGrill Black. It is the Rolls-Royce of grills, making the George Foreman grill look like a Robin Reliant. Everything about it is automated. Plug it in, choose the type of meat you’re cooking and then wait for it to heat up. Once it’s ready, slap your meat on and the grill’s in-built technology automatically measures its thickness and starts cooking it, both sides. The LED display tells you what stage it’s cooked at (with rare, medium and well done settings) and an alarm goes off at each of those. I tried an aged rib eye steak on it and it

RRP: £149.99

“IT IS THE ROLLS ROYCE OF GRILLS, MAKING FOREMAN’S KIT LOOK LIKE A ROBIN RELIANT” was seared, juicy and took less than five minutes to cook. This is a top bit of kit that sorts out all your meat needs and gets it to the plate without you having to do much actual cooking. Luckily for your wife, girlfriend, significant other it still needs cleaning so they’re not redundant just yet (I know - ho, ho, ho.) Available exclusively at Argos.

HEALTH GIZMO OF THE MONTH

BREVILLE BLEND-ACTIVE NO-ONE will ever accuse me of being a regular gym goer, cycling enthusiast, ardent jogger, yoga stretcher or a follower of any currently popular fitness fad. Rest assured I’m not turning into some huge lump of lard like Katie Hopkins. I still regularly drag my body round the football pitch and then complete my workout with a couple of nutritious pints. For those of you who do partake in regular sports, I’m assured the Breville Blend Active is perfect.

inside potato goodness. Just add the salt and pepper and ketchup and you’re away. I haven’t tried making Crème Brulee in it – the manufacturers say you can – but I did cook sausages, chicken and battered fish in it and it was top notch. The parts can go in the dishwasher and there’s grill and roasting options. Yeah, it’s a bit pricey but is well worth it. And for the cash you can fry a whole meal in one again, with much less chance of torching your gaff.

Like all good gadgets the beauty of the Blend Active is in its simplicity and practicality. Before this bit of kit you had to make up your protein shake and then pour it in your sports bottle. What a pain in the arse eh? With this product the sports bottle is the blender chamber – you pop on the blade cap, put on the base unit and blend your drink. Take it off and replace with the drinking cap and you’re ready to head to the gym with your refreshment in hand.

RRP: £25 If you’re not a fitness freak you can use it to make a fruit smoothie for the train in the mornings, or an iced coffee, or a milkshake. You get the picture – it blends stuff and you take it with you. I still prefer to just pay £2 for a ready blended drink before I squeeze myself onto the packed Tube with a bunch of ‘hipsters’ whose religions are obvious through their skinny jeans. But that’s just me. I have more spare cash these days because I don’t actually pay for these gadgets.

EVERY YEAR that gets us fuelled Geor This is bas of the legend It’s been g original Sega of British kid smashing sp Despite ne or live – alth during a grid – I’ve always This latest The graph commentato realistic and next-genera Its biggest since the las defensive pl when your te you’re encou tackling. I re order to sack

THE UNIVERSITY PAPER

NOVEMBER 2014

TRANSFORMERS

TOASTIE MAKERS

HEADPHONES

SPEAKERS

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NIGHT VISION GOGGLES

DRONES

VUVUZELAS

REVIEW: DIABLO III: ULTIMATE EVIL EDITION

SO IT’S finally made it to consoles. Blizzard have brought Diablo III to those of us who mainly use PCs for work... and other extra-curricular pursuits of course. The good thing about playing on a console is multiplayer is much better. And the thing practically everyone loves about Diablo is it involves exploring, crafting and killing together - or killing each other. The game is addictive with friends (if you have any.)Unless your improvisation skills are great you will get bored playing alone. Without friends the game feels like repetitive button smashing to

hack’n’slash and that isn’t always enough. But with friends in the co-player modes it comes alive and you start feeling like a true basher-smasher-lasher-dasher killing machine. The graphics are nothing to shout about. They keep the look of the series but you’d think on a nextgen console Blizzard would at least brighten its different worlds and improve the artwork. Unfortunately it is dull and boring and the best thing about the artwork is the crows that decide to sit on the lamps, because, well, I like crows. Problem? However, at the beginning the intro is surprisingly amazing, the faces look real, the people act real, it feels real and I’m disappointed they couldn’t achieve that in-game. I’m torn about Diablo III. The main character is unappealing and hard to understand. The storyline is very linear; the plot is dull and could do with a more interesting twist. In summary, this edition is only made for multi-player.

PREVIEW: ALIEN ISOLATION

“YOU’VE ALREADY PAID £44.99 FOR THE GAME. WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO PAY FOR A GAME-PLAY OPTION TOO? IT ANGERS ME ME”

REVIEW OF THE MONTH MADDEN NFL 15 EVERY YEAR the FIFA franchise gets an update that gets us more excited than a vodka/Red Bullfuelled Geordie in a tanning salon. This is basically the American football version of the legendary soccer title. It’s been going strong since 1990 and the original Sega Mega Drive introduced a lot of British kids (including me) to the bonesmashing sport of the NFL. Despite never being a fan of NFL either on TV or live – although the beer and snacks they serve during a gridiron marathon numbs the boredom – I’ve always been a big fan of the Madden games. This latest edition doesn’t disappoint. The graphics are brilliant. Players, commentators and coaches all look ultrarealistic and we’re now starting to see what these next-generation consoles are really capable of. Its biggest improvement gameplay- wise since the last edition (Madden NFL 25) is in the defensive play. Before, you felt like an onlooker when your team was defending, but in this game you’re encouraged to get fully involved in the tackling. I recommend you use the Hit Stick in order to sack a quarterback in the same way a

school bully crushes a nerd. Offensive play has been tweaked for the better. Your runners speed through the opposition defence like a fatty running for a finger buffet and when you’re passing as the quarterback you’ve got more options than a customised Domino’s pizza. Purists will complain there are too many interceptions and all those NFL intricacies which hold up play. But Madden NFL has always eradicated some of the more boring aspects of the real sport (how many fucking time-outs do they really need?) in order to make a video game that is more fun and has plenty of flow. There are loads of game modes including Connected Franchise where you get to choose to be a player, coach or owner to try and take your team (it’s got to be the Miami Dolphins for me) to Super Bowl glory. The Ultimate Team option is great but you have to pay extra for it. You’ve already paid £44.99 to play the bastard game! So it makes me angry you have to pay extra for a gameplay option. It’s still a must-have for gaming American football fans.

THIS IS the game I’m most excited about getting my hands on this year. It’s just you – as Amanda Ripley, the daughter of Sigourney Weaver’s character Ellen Ripley from the 1979 Alien film – with one of the alien creatures (known as a Xenomorph to movie gimps) and you’re determination to find out what happened to your hard-arsed mum. It’s a survival horror and you only get a tracker and whatever you can get your hands on to protect yourself. The game is set in 2137, 15 years after the events of Alien. It sees Amanda flown to the space station Sevastopol to find the flight recorder of Nostromo, but an alien is already there. It’s your job to find out what happened to your mother and the people who were living on the space station – which has been painstakingly recreated in the

style of Ridley Scott and late surrealist artist H. R. Giger’s work on the original movie.\ From what I’ve seen of the title there’s a lot of detective work to do all while trying to avoid attracting the attention of the Xenomorph – which is set to be one of the most intelligent AI characters in video game history if it lives up to Sega’s hype. I cannot wait for this game. Alien is my favourite film of all time, survival horror is my favourite video game genre and this title puts you firmly in those two settings. I really, really, really don’t want this game to be shit. Next issue we’ll know.

Coming soon for PlayStation 3 and PlayStation 4, Xbox One and Xbox 360.

KNOW THE INSIDE

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T R AC K O N

CAMPUS?

IF SO THE UNIVERSITY PAPER WANTS TO HEAR FROM YOU. We are scouring the UK for student journalists, so whether you are looking for work experience or simply spending too much time in the SU, get in touch today. We are on the look out for opinion leaders and change makers who can write engaging copy. Your pieces will be printed in The University Paper which is read by thousands of students across the UK and you will get that all important byline - perfect if you are looking to build a portfolio. Not to mention that age old adage, it will look great on the CV. So if you would like to be an influential voice for the student community or just have a strong front page tell us what is going on - pitch your ideas to The University Paper, email: editor@unipaper.co.uk

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CURRENT

» CONTINUED FROM FRONT COVER

ALLEGED NAPIER HAZING INITIATIONS rumours of alleged society hazing on campus since fresher’s week and there has been no indication from the institution that anything is being done to combat this. One Napier sports society is alleged to have fed their fresher’s initiates dog food. They are also being accused of pressuring the freshers to drink until they vomited, which they then allegedly made them eat. They were contacted for comment but declined to respond. The University does not seem to acknowledge that initiations, harmless or otherwise, took place. When contacted for comment on the hockey society’s presence at Riego Street, their accommodation officer told us, “I am aware of no incident at Riego Street on the date noted.” The Napier University’s Student Society Handbook outlines that disciplinary action will be taken if members of a society engage in “prohibited conduct” such as inappropriate activities (fighting and lewd behaviour are given as examples.) Furthermore, the handbook also states that “All societies’ members have an obligation to conduct themselves and their organisation responsibly and in a way that will not bring the society, its members, NSA or the University into public disrepute. This applies to conduct both on and off campus, and especially while participating in societies’ activities.” The Napier Student’s Association declined to comment on the alleged hazing that had taken place. Initiations are often seen as a rite of passage in universities, granting freshers entry into societies or clubs. But it doesn’t have to be unpleasant; the Napier Dance Society had a school-themed night and Andrew Palmer, their social secretary, commented on their evening. “We wanted initiations to be fun so everyone got to know each other, but we didn’t want anyone getting stupidly drunk so we gave the options of food and water. It was a success and everyone had a great night!” It appears that poo has a recurring theme for this year’s freshers, a fresher’s girl pooed outside the Venue toilets during the second Throwback of the year at the student union. A poor innocent fresher followed on to then stand in the poo, just to make their night out a little bit messier. But it wasn’t all bad, a girl weed on her crew outfit behind a bin at the SU, only to have to wear that outfit the remainder of the week. Another girl weed in the alley way between Perdu, only to fall over and land in it. But the fresher’s crew were in full force to help the fresher’s pull themselves back together, wipe the sick from their mouths and carry on their carnage down Big market. One of the crew supers was a caring, sharing guy who handed out free chicken burgers to freshers in Chicken Hut. After ordering everything and anything after a night in Sinners he threw the excess of chicken at the fresher’s only to then shove the chicken drumsticks in his ears. A special mention must be given to the girl who managed to sneak a box of chicken into Sinners, to then consume it on the dance floor mid shuffle to David Guetta. That’s impressive. Not only did the fresher’s crew help by drunkenly giving out chicken, they helped numerous paralytic fresher’s into ambulances and onto the Royal Victoria hospital to get sorted out. The crew packed them up and sent them off with St. John’s staff where they were given a certificate to inform them they had ended up in hospital. Being paralytic and ending up in hospital is a regular occurrence for any university, but the fresher’s created more carnage in the Toon after ripping up the floorboards of Sinners. The fresher’s of Ricky Road carried on the path of destruction after carrying a toilet out of the broken items pen, to then sit on it for a while before throwing the toilet on the floor and smashing it to pieces. It’s unsure whether the culprits were caught by accommodation staff. Newcastle is renowned for a mess night out, and freshers always bring a trail of trouble in their wake. This year has to be the messiest, most sex and alcohol fuelled week that the Toon had ever seen. Fresher’s – you did Newcastle proud. Bring on next year.

» CONTINUED FROM FRONT COVER

SPIDER VS FRESHER another group and being urged to go home. She sought the help of a passer-by at 1.15am when she eventually regained consciousness. The police are also appealing for witnesses to come forward after a woman in her 20s was sexually assaulted on Saturday 30th September in the city centre. It is alleged that the offender touched the victim inappropriately after following her into an alleyway. The man ran off after a couple walking past at the time disturbed him. Following this attack, another woman in her 20s became a victim in the early hours of the morning on Wednesday 1st October, in a busy smoking area between Perdu and Blackie Boy on Groat Market. Being the second attack on the street known for its buzzing night life, the police have made it clear that they are taking these incidents as a highly concerning matter. Northumbria Police have stated that “[they] have officers across the force dedicated to local colleges and universities who work closely with the schools to keep students safe.” Jennifer Dey, a Newcastle University Maths and French student told us that: “I’m glad I have my car at university now, I really don’t feel that the city is safe enough to walk around at night, it’s horrible what’s happened.” Many females from both universities have expressed their concerns at

walking through the city centre on their own. Seeing as many of these incidents have occurred while the young women were enjoying a traditional night out in the Toon with friends, it may cause some people to jump to conclusions that all three cases are a consequence of being highly intoxicated. However, this would be a short-sighted and arrogant opinion to reduce the accusations of sexual violence to the participation of binge drinking. By thinking that women would reduce their own risk against sexual violence by drinking less, risks planting the responsibility of rape not on the perpetrators, but on the potential victims themselves. Anyone would encourage women to protect themselves by reducing the risks that may lead to putting them in a dangerous situation. Northumbria and Newcastle students are constantly encouraged not accept drinks from strangers or leave drinks unattended, make sure you have planned your journey home to diminish the possibility of walking home alone at night, and to stay aware of your surroundings and look out for your friends. The list is endless of risk reduction strategies but should not be relied on to protect potential victims at any point. Newcastle University has place rape prevention posters around their campus with a “No means

no” campaign to support their students. The alarming number of these attacks has left many students apprehensive and scared about being out on the Toon in the late hours. Police have been increasing their staff and patrols to try and reassure the students. The University’s also have a night bus service which can take students back to their accommodation halls after a night out. Northumbria’s Police and Crime Commissioner, PCC Vera Bairdhave said: “Students need to enjoy their time at university and not become victims of crime. By working together we can ensure we minimise the risk of crime. I’d encourage the students to meet the officers who will give them advice on how to stay safe.” Since the start of 2014, Northumbria Police have received, on average, two reports of rape or attempted rape every day. With such horrific incidents happening on a daily basis, the questions begin to arise about the safety of Newcastle students, especially at night. Newcastle sits below the national average of crime ratings in comparison to its sister cities, such as Manchester, Liverpool, Nottingham and London. These upsetting and horrifying sex assaults are crushing Tyneside’s safe reputation, and it’s becoming apparent that women are at risk on Newcastle streets.

NOVEMBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

Fashion

Whether you want to dress up or down, we’ve picked the top ten buys for guys and girls out this month. From cosy faux fur and parkas to striking sequins and suits, make this your shopping tick list.

n e m o W

FURBULOUS

ANIMAL PRINT

Wrap up in a little bit of luxury with this faux fur coat.

These leopard print block heeled boots are the perfect day to night number.

£89.99, ZARA

SHOWPIECE

Julian MacDonald gives the pencil skirt some of his signature sparkle.

£149, M&S

£40, DEBENHAMS

STATEMENT SLACKS Beautiful winter florals with a splash of this season’s teal.

POWER PRINT

This geo print pelmet skirt packs a stylish punch.

£28, DOROTHY PERKINS

£36, TOPSHOP

JUICY JEWELS

Add these colourful gems to upgrade any outfit.

£17.99, NEW LOOK

CUFF IT

This pretty Perspex number is part of Accessorize’s Christmas collection.

£12, ACCESSORIZE

HAT TRICK

Top off your winter look with a floppy felt hat.

PETAL POWER

Daisy print + navy + ruffles = the perfect playsuit

£46, TOPSHOP

£8, PRIMARK

PRETTY KNITS

We love the floral detail on this charcoal sweater

£69, MONSOON

THE UNIVERSITY NOVEMBER 2014

N E M BUCKLE UP

This smart backpack in grey will go with any outfit.

TOP TEE

Idle Man has collaborated with streetwear label Hype resulting in this exclusive range.

£69.99, H.E AT MANGO

£25, HYPE X AT IDLE MAN

BUTTON UP

This cosy parka will keep you warm and look good while it does it.

SEEING SPOTS

£65, NEXT

Forget winter brights, statement prints are the way to get spotted this season.

£28, RIVER ISLAND

BLACK AND BLUE

Be bold and put some animal in to your outfit.

WINTER WOOLIES

£79, REISS

This bright beanie hat will keep you toasty.

£12, NEXT

SUITED & BOOTED

A simple, no frills suit to smarten up your party season look.

JACKET £79, BURTON TROUSERS £40, BURTON

CHECK MATE

This style staple will look great under 6 and 7.

£16.99, BLUE INC

FANCY FEET

Pull on these bargain Chelsea boots for an instant feel/look good factor.

£29.99, NEW LOOK

ADVICE

NOVEMBER 2014

NO-NONSENSE ADVICE THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE

A word of advice

Know when to quit

BY THIS point, you’ve almost certainly had all sorts of people ambushing you about how to make the most out of university. Interested in your course? Become an academic rep. Student journalist? Get work experience, and write for as many places as possible. Human being? Join a society filled with other human beings who may or may not share interests with you. There’s some truth in the phrase that university is what you make of it. But it’s a big commitment that costs nine thousand pounds - with the cost of living added to that - and graduate employers aren’t just going to disregard you because you didn’t join four sports clubs and a

tea appreciation society. If universities offered nothing more than your local sports centre or church hall, there wouldn’t be any point going. So it is, then, that you need to know when to quit. Yeah, nobody likes a quitter - but you’re more likely to find a job at the end of your degree if you’ve done one thing and you’ve done it well. By all means, join all the societies you want, but unless you want to become an all-singing alldancing Swiss Army Knife of a person, know when to say: “I’ve done enough to be proud of myself.” That’s all anybody can ask for, and anybody who wants more isn’t worth it.

you can do to make yourself easier to live with Hey, we’re all guilty of this. But if you’re a big fan of neo-classical folk rock or melodic doom metal, there’s a smidge of a chance that people in your household won’t share your enthusiasm. Start quiet and slowly turn the music up as the days go by, rather than starting loud and waiting for them to complain.

Come on, we’re adults. You probably know this one. But I lived with a guy who would use all his stuff, refuse to wash it, and then start using everybody else’s. He was about as popular as diarrhea, and almost as inconvenient. Don’t back up the sink with plates that have last week’s food on it, as it’s only going to make everybody’s life harder - especially your own, if you have to scratch dried leftovers off a plate with a fork.

3 4. PAY THE BILLS, ON TIME

Compared to the other things on this list which are just conveniences, this one is essential as not doing so might land you in court. If you leave your housemates in the lurch, you can damage their credit rating (or your own), and you’re not going to avoid paying the cash - so pony up sooner rather than later. That goes for damage, too. Don’t be the guy who sets a fire extinguisher off and makes the whole flat pay for it. Nobody likes that guy.

STUDY ESSENTIALS

Feeling productive? With the right equipment, you can always get more out of your time. Try the following if you need a little something extra

2. DO THE WASHING UP. NOW.

Do the cows a favour: buy 4 pints for the house rather than a pint each. It’s more economic in terms of space, and certainly more cost effective. And that goes for more than just milk - share pasta, rice, and even toasters and other general equipment. If you’ve got multiple smoothie machines in your house, you’re either working for innocent or you’ve got too many.

1. KEEP THE MUSIC DOWN

3. SHARE!

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A GOOD CALENDAR APP ON YOUR SMARTPHONE.

GUM.

Google Calendar is great and even syncs across multiple devices, so you can always stay on schedule. The reminders are fantastic, too!

Yes, it’s the bane of every cleaner’s life. But chewing (“mastication,” for those inclined towards funny sounding words) has been shown to improve learning and your ability to recall details. Just don’t stick it under the desk!

USB STICK KEYCHAIN.

Always be able to say “yes” if someone asks if you have a memory stick by attaching one to something you can’t leave home without: your keys.

A VACUUM FLASK.

Sometimes, water isn’t enough (although a bottle of water is another great thing to keep on you). A Thermos full of coffee is a great thing to keep on you for a day of lectures so you can stay focused while saving time and money you’d spend on trips cafés.

DROPBOX.

Ok, so it’s not a thing per se - it’s a service. But Dropbox and services like it provide a space for you to backup essays in case your computer dies. Like the keychain, it’s also accessible from home.

TABLET COMPUTERS.

Yeah, iPads and kindles cost a lot of money. But it’s an investment: digital books can save you lugging course reading around all day, making trips to the library less painful.

A GOOD DATA ALLOWANCE ON YOUR PHONE.

I’m lucky enough to have unlimited 4G, meaning I’m never without an internet connection. Perfect if you need to access resources such as timetables on the move - because who doesn’t forget where to go on the ﬁrst day?

POST-IT NOTES.

Chances are you’re not actually studying a degree if you haven’t felt the need to put sticky notes on absolutely everything. Indulge and buy a stack before long, you’ll be hooked.

The

THE UNIVERSITY PAPER

NOVEMBER 2014

Homesick? FRIENDS ARE NEVER FAR AWAY PIC: SHUTTERSTOCK

IF YOU’RE feeling the burn of being away from home, chances are you’re not alone. Not everybody is rushing away from the creature comforts that come part of living with your parents. Home cooking is effort free, and as the good book says: Man cannot live by Instant Noodles alone. But jokes about microwave food aside, many complain that a real sense of loneliness sets in once the novelty of halls wears off. Even people in second year and beyond find themselves missing home, sometimes without warning. Yet take solace: we live in a hyper-connected society. It’s a bit of a trite phrase, but it’s absolutely true. Almost every laptop and tablet PC has some sort of webcam, so if your parents don’t use computers, keeping in contact with Skype or FaceTime is a great incentive for you to teach them. And while adding your parents on Facebook is a generally big no-no, adjusting your privacy settings so they don’t see the worst of you but can like the odd results post you make is a great way to keep them updated without expending too much effort. Distance is a horrible thing, and it can affect you profoundly when you’re in no position to travel. But the internet has made the world feel a lot smaller. Even if it’s too late at night for you to turn to someone from college or your family, listening services such as Nightline are never far away and deal with problems like this on a daily basis.

FRESHERS:

There’s life outside of halls. LAURA RAPHAEL PIC: SHUTTERSTOCK

What’s the best hangover cure? The answer might surprise you. PIC: SHUTTERSTOCK

YOU’VE HAD a heavy night. You and your mates said “just one more” quite a few times, and you’ve woken up feeling like you’ve been hit by a car made of pure vodka. What do you do? Spoilers: there’s no such thing as a hangover cure. A greasy breakfast? A myth. Aspirin? It’ll help the headache, but not the dehydration. Another drink? Don’t be crazy. They say time heals all wounds. In this case, they’re right: there’s no doubt that drinking water helps (and if you can do it on a night out, then all the better), but you should be drinking water anyway given that it’s a big part of staying alive.

Buying a huge breakfast isn’t going to do anything for you except hurt your wallet and leave you feeling bloated. And while fry-ups are nice, nobody’s ever been prescribed fried eggs and bacon. (If you have, please get in touch. That’s one hell of a story). Of course, I’m not going to tell you that the best cure is not to drink. It’s hard to avoid a night out at university. What I can tell you that if somebody’s selling a miracle remedy, then chances are, it won’t work, or it will make you feel worse. Save your money, nurse your head, and brace yourself for the next time you have one too many.

eeting new people is terrifying. There’s no doubt that once you’ve settled in with your flatmates and all learned how to get along you probably won’t be rushing to repeat the experience. However, beware: good housemates are a blessing and a curse. Too many people spend their first year with housemates they were randomly allocated. Seeing as relationships generally don’t rely on random chance, rushing into a house with those in your hall can lead to disaster once you realise that you’re all significantly different people. And while you may not realise that during the second semester, chances are you will by the end of year two. That goes the other way, too. Making a single group of friends outside of your house - a society committee, for example - isn’t going to do you any favours either. Life as the absent housemate will only alienate you from people you can’t really avoid, especially if you’re not lucky enough to stay in an en suite room. Remember: there are thousands of people at university. You’re doing yourself no favours by limiting yourself to a certain group. Step outside, breathe the air, and find some people without being grouped together by chance.

NOVEMBER 2014

THE UNIVERSITY PAPER

MY MONEY IMPARTIAL, EXPERT ADVICE BY: LAURA RAPHAEL

THE MONEY LIST

Get paid for your opinion Ge ing paid to lie in bed on the internet might sound too good to be true when it comes to making money, but thousands of students diligently fill out online surveys every year. So if you are a sucker for BuzzFeed quizzes this might just be the perfect job for you. Here are The University Paper’s top three sites:

The OpinionPanel Community

The Opinion Panel is the largest youth and student research community in the UK with over 120,000 members. What’s even better as a student you get paid a tenner simply for signing up. You can take part in surveys and online focus groups for big brands and get paid for writing for their website opinionpanel.co.uk.

YouGov

This one is a little different to the rest as the surveys focus on social issues from politics to public affairs. The results are then used by clients such as The Economist, so if you have strong views yougov. co.uk is for you. Also you’ll be quids in if you get your friends to sign up too.

Toluna

One of the best perks of being a student is the freebies right? So what could be better than Toluna sending them directly to you to road test. You don’t even have to send them back afterwards. You can also fill out surveys on their website uk.toluna.com in return for Amazon vouchers.

Don’t sell yourself short Out of 2,300 students 80% do not have enough money to live on and what’s more one in four would even considering selling their body in order to stump up some extra cash. The students questioned as part of a survey conducted by Save the Student said they would either turn to the adult entertainment industry or medical trails. WITH AN estimated £600,000 to £3m per institution going straight into higher education from the sex industry this is nothing new. But even less is know about students undertaking medical trials. However it is not as simple as turning up to hospital, popping some pills and receiving a cash injection. First you have to go through initial assessments to make sure you are fit for the trial, followed by a hospital stay and follow-up sessions that can last months. However you do receive food and board while staying in hospital.

There are also different types of trial, the best paid being a phase 1, as these drugs have never been tested on humans before and for this you can expect daily rates of £120. All clinical trials are run by a regulatory agency and ethics committee to ensure that they are in the interest of the public and medical profession. However this does not safeguard you from side effects and in the extreme have results in death. Volunteers are contributing to medical science but it is best to arm yourself with the short and long-term consequences before committing.

ENTREPRENEURS

MOVE OVER GANDHI, HERE’S ROB AND PAUL

Changing the world one flipflop SUPER at a time… SCRIMPING LAURA RAPHAEL

Freshers has been and gone, along with your student loan. Sure your ﬁrst payment for halls took a chunk out of it with the rest falling somewhere between your local boozer and Perfect Fried Chicken. use these apps to make up the rest.

» REDLASER

Want price comparison at the click of a button? While you are out and about simply scan the barcode of the product you want to purchase and it’ll ﬁnd you the cheapest store both online and oﬄine. You can then purchase items through the app and have it delivered right to your door.

» METER READINGS Ok, so this one will set you back £1.49 but it could save you hundreds over the course of the year. As we head into autumn it is all too easy to whack the heating up or spendﬁve more minutes in the shower: Meter Readings however will allow you to keep a track of how much you are spending before you go over budget.

» 0800 WIZARD

So you’ve got unlimited minutes on your contract but ironically calling the bank of all places is costing you a small fortune. Calling 0800 numbers can be as high as 20p a minute but 08 Wizard replaces the 08 with a 01 or 02 landline number and you won’t face a charge on top.

This year will mark the tenth anniversary of the Boxing Day tsunami that claimed 230,000 lives. A poignant anniversary for brothers Paul and Rob Forkan who lost their parents that day, and only narrowly survived themselves. However out of tragedy is where Gandys ﬂip ﬂops was born. The brothers began the social enterprise out of their bedroom in Brixton to now with a growing team behind them in their London HQ. CO-FOUNDER Paul Forkan says: “the idea is to give back to those less fortunate - profit for purpose”. With 10% of all profits going into the Gandys Foundation, towards their mission ‘Orphans for Orphans’. The brothers have been able to fund children’s homes in Sri-Lanka and India, giving underprivileged children access to basic essentials such as housing, healthcare and education. Paul says it has been: “Exciting as well as a challenging journey... You are basically just a flip flop to people, so when you are competing against big brands who have been going 50 odd years you have to think outside the box and Gandys is proving to deliver this success through our new ever changing designs and prints. ” The brothers have already been invited to don their signature flip flops at Buckingham Palace and Number 10, even flying to Sri-Lanka with David Cameron in 2013. Rob laughs: “The only place we’ve actually been turned away from for wearing them was our local pub a couple of months ago”. And the future is set to be even brighter with the brothers vision to open children’s homes all over the world.

“The only place we’ve actually been turned away from for wearing them was our local pub a couple of months ago”

THE UNIVERSITY PAPER

NOVEMBER 2014

YOUR QUESTIONS: ANSWERED Yo ho WHAT? It’s only November!!!

FORGIVE US for mentioning the c word but with Christmas fast approaching it is time to start applying for seasonal jobs. And what with the festive period rearing its ugly head earlier and earlier every year, it is time to start handing out your CV already. Christmas creates new jobs as companies employ extra staff to see them through the festive period. What’s better there is even the lure of time and a half over the bank holidays. But if you fancy a job a little out of the ordinary here are jobs for you. Just like marmite - some people love them and some hate them but with £50 million spent on sprouts alone in the UK someone has to pick them! However, if you want to get your hands dirty but sprouts aren’t your thing then how about becoming a professional present wrapper? Or even a Christmas cracker joke writer, we kid you not. Although with this comes great reasonability in beating “what is brown and sticky”. And finally what a better way to get into the Christmas spirit than being an Elf or even Father Christmas himself at a department store or garden centre near you.

How not to get ripped off as an intern PIC: SHUTTERSTOCK

IF IT isn’t bad enough you are having to fork out £9k a year for tuition fees alone now you are expected to work for free? Ah yes, internships. Some have even gone under the hammer at Christie’s, with a week’s worth of experience at GQ finishing up at an eye watering £3k. However, it is not all bad news. Internships can set you apart

from the crowd, get you valuable contacts and sometimes even paid work. And considering Simon Cowell started out in the EMI post room you might not want to scoff. However a recent Inland Revenue crackdown on unpaid internships just goes to show you need to know your rights. If you are doing an internship as part of a higher education course, the company are not

entitled to pay you, but you should receive a reasonable allowance to cover your travel and lunch. However if you undertake an internship outside of your course you may qualify for “worker” status, which means national minimum wage and no more than 48 hours a week. What’s more if you are promised future work from the offset you immediately qualify for worker status.

NOT ALL DEBT IS BAD

Did you know there is such as thing as good debt and believe it or not your student loan is just that. Considering we’ll be paying it off way into our 50’s with the average debt totaling £44k it is hard to believe, I know. So what exactly is good about that?

PIC: SHUTTERSTOCK

It’s basically an investment, as it will increase your potential future income and it has lower interest than other loans. So now that you have invested wisely, here is how not to get into all sorts of bad debt. The worst offenders of bad debt are payday and cash advance loans. Why? This is not a long term investment and whatever you squandered it on has probably already lost its value. Many student unions have even banned payday loan companies from even advertising on campus as they believe they target vulnerable students. Not only will you have to pay back the original sum borrowed but also interest incurred, with some starting at 300% annually. Credit cards are another to watch out for. So your bank have just given you a shiny new piece of plastic and it’s contactless to make paying even easier. Fantastic. Until all those clothes from Topshop have been sitting on your statement for three months and the interest you are

It’s basically an investment, as it will increase your potential future income and it has lower interest than other loans. paying on them is making them even more expensive than they were in the first place. Sometimes dipping into the red might be unavoidable that’s what your interest free overdraft is there for, but reserve it for emergencies.

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NOVEMBER 2014

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STUDENT CHEF

TOP

PICTURES:SHUTTERSTOCK

EASY STUDENT

MEALS

STIR FRY 1. CHICKEN

4. RICE (MIXED WITH WHATEVER)

Quick, simple and easy to make! This dish work can work as a meal for the whole house or just a couple of meals for yourself throughout the week. Using some of the easiest ingredients to get hold off, meat, vegetables and noodles, this dish can be whipped up in just 10 minutes. It also an easy dish for any cooking novices as well, with the recipe relatively easy to follow. Cut the chicken, fry for around five minutes, and then add the other ingredients including sauce to have a perfect little healthy dish. A further bonus is the use of pots is kept to a minimum meaning less washing up to do after you have finished eating.

Ever wanted the perfect way to get rid of a number of leftovers in the fridge? Then look no further than this tasty little dish. All you need is rice and whatever else you want but it is recommended to mix some meat and vegetables in throughout. Cooking the rice is simple, boil a pan full of water and add the rice which will be ready in around ten minutes. In a separate pan, fry whatever it is you want to mix in with the rice and when both pans are finished, mix the contents and there you have it, a perfect little dish which has used up a number of leftovers.

2. HEALTHY PIZZAS Pizza is an essential part of any student diet but normally Dominoes is the first port of call. That was until now! With this cheaper take on the classic spinach and egg â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;florentineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; pizza, the healthy alternative will also work out as the most rewarding. Using flatbread instead of traditional dough, you will have to spread 1-2 tbsp of passata over each one. Next you need to get as much water out of the spinach as possible before scattering them across the top. Baking two pizzas at a time, you will have to crack an egg in the middle of each before seasoning with nutmeg. Bake until the cheese is melted and the egg is cooked to how you would like, approximately seven minutes.

PASTA BAKE 5. TUNA

Another simple dish and one that always seems to be a winner amongst housemates, if you like tuna that is! Easily made from an assortment of ingredients that should be found in many student houses (even if you have to raid the other cupboards in the house). Start off by boiling pasta but the sauce is a key ingredient! To start you need to melt butter in a saucepan, stir in the flour, cook for one minute and then add some milk to make a thick white sauce. Moving back to the pasta, drain it before adding the white sauce, tuna and sweetcorn before putting it in to a baking dish and topping with grated cheese. Bake for 15-20 minutes and you have yourself a perfect meal.

CHILLI 3. TURKEY JACKET POTATOES Jacket Potatoes are staple food in a student household, with a number of different options for toppings. This version incorporates a Mexican-style twist and the best thing about it is turkey mince is cheap and quite easy to get hold of. Whilst the potatoes are cooking in the oven, prepare the chilli with the mince, onion, garlic being cooked before the spices are added towards the end. An easy meal to make for one or more of your friends, depending how many potatoes you have! When everything is ready, cut a cross at the top of the jacket and add chilli before sprinkling with cheese.

NOVEMBER 2014

ESSENTIALS TO HAVE AROUND THE HOUSE

Different type of cooks in the household FRUIT

It might seem obvious but having any amount of fruit in your room, draws or just in the general household is a must. Takeaways and fast food won’t ever be far away, but when you are looking for fruit, the healthy option can sometimes go amiss so make sure you have some in.

PASTA/RICE

This ingredient will probably make up 50% of your meals at University! Pasta and rice are key ingredients to have in your cupboard as they go with whatever you would want to cook of an evening. Both also provide quick and easy meals aplenty when you are looking to maximise your pre drinking time.

JACKET POTATOES

Just think of the endless possibilities that can be had on top of a jacket potato. Beans and cheese? Chilli? Coleslaw? Whatever you want, as long as you have something to put them on, you can create many weird and wonderful toppings for your tea.

There you have it, all the food you need to move yourself away from having McDonalds every day.

PICTURE:SHUTTERSTOCK

THE UNIVERSITYPAPER

Moving into University is a great experience for many reasons, but what really brings many first year (and second/ third) students down to earth is cooking for themselves. EVERY STUDENT will learn to get by but it is the different ways in which young people look after themselves that differs from house to house. You have the people who think they are professional chefs. These students get every ingredient they need (not easy on a student budget) and make some wonderful dishes that everyone wants to try. However, by the time they have finished cooking the meal it has taken them a number of hours to prepare, not good for nights when you want to start pre drinking early. You can also have the people who are reliant on readymade meals and takeaways. Hardly a ‘cook’, this student has every takeaway menu in their room and on

the odd occasion they do use the kitchen, it is normally to microwave a Tesco’s own lasagne or chicken tikka masala. And then you have the student who falls in the middle! Not quite able to prepare the meals associated with the ‘professional chef’, this person still knows how to look after themselves even if the takeaway menu is lost. They are more at home if they can just put something in the oven, but if a tasty meal needs preparing then they don’t mind putting in a little bit of work. So which category do you fall in to?

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Marti NEW Y

NOVEMBER 2014

HOROSCOPES ARIES

MARCH 21 - APRIL 19 The beginning of the month is big for you Aries with the Full Moon on October 8th. It is a time to indulge yourself and a time for high romance too. On October 23rd during the New Moon you may well feel the weight of the world on your shoulders but this will soon pass on October 26th when Mars enters the sign of Capricorn. ST

TAURUS

SEPTEMBER 23 - OCTOBER 22 Sparks will be flying during the Full Moon on October 8th Libra and you are the one they will be shooting off. When Mercury and Venus conjoin on October 17th, your heart and head will be perfectly in tune. Expect this to be a period of productivity. You will find some relief from finances during the New Moon on October 23rd you will finally be free from that nagging debt.

APRIL 20 - MAY 20 The Full Moon and Luna on October 8th will be a time of intense introspective soul searching for you Taurus. Take some time to be alone and you will learn lots about yourself. When Mercury enters Libra on October 10th you will be at your most peaceful with a generous air of give and take. Expect a shake up on October 23rd when The New Moon will hit you hard.

SCORPIO

GEMINI

SAGITTARIUS

MAY 21ST - JUNE 20TH On October 4th Mercury goes retrograde and to avoid chaos, patience and organisation is key for you Gemini. But you will soon reap the rewards on October 8th when your social life is in full swing. During the New Moon on October 23rd you will get an awakening which will remind you to take care of your heart, head and soul

CANCER

JUNE 21ST - JULY 22ND It’s time to show everyone what you are really capable of Cancer and during the New Moon on October 8th your potential will only be too apparent. On October 14th be aware of people spending time with you who may have alter motives. You will be at your most in tune and creative on October 23rd with the New Moon these memories will last a lifetime.

LEO

JULY 23RD - AUGUST 22ND Be ready to be the go to person for help, advice and favours Leo during the Full Moon on October 8th. And if you’ve been waiting to meet that someone special October 17th could just be it when Mercury conjucts Venus. The New Moon on October 23rd will be a productive time and you will feel at ease if you finally get down to your finances

VIRGO

Who Said What?

MATCH THE QUOTE TO THE CELEB...

AUGUST 23RD - SEPTEMBER 22ND You will be all about goodwill and getting problems solved during the Full Moon on October 8th Virgo. When the moon is in Virgo on October 20th you will enter a period of stability and sensibility and you will be awash with good feelings. The New Moon on October 23rd will be a time to celebrate and you will be even closer than usual to your friends.

AGONY AUNT :

ASK ALICE

LIBRA

THE UNIVERSITY PAPER

(WE DON’T KNOW ANYONE CALLED ALICE, BUT IT SOUNDED BETTER THAN ALAN)

CONTACT ALICE: editor@unipaper.co.uk

OCTOBER 23RD - NOVEMBER 21ST Take care during the Full Moon on October 8th Scorpio, you are craving something reckless and you are not entirely sure why. Be careful what you wish for. Come October 23rd, you softer and sweeter side will be flourishing, so express to impress. This will boil over on October 25th when Mercury goes stationary - say what is in your heart to be accepted.

NOVEMBER 22ND - DECEMBER 21ST Your inner child will run riot during the Full Moon on October 8th Sagittarius. It will be all fun and games as long as you don’t gamble. October 23rd will be a quiet time of reflection, especially of those around you. If there has been a secret or two lurking among friends now it is the time to get it out into the open. Come October 27th, you will be feeling fabulous, enjoy it

CAPRICORN

DECEMBER 22 - JANUARY 19 At the start of the month you may be feeling paranoid or on edge Capricorn, relax your sign can handle this better than most. Come the Full Moon on October 8th your family and home life will be the centre of attention. On October 23rd you are bound to feel under pressure at work. Don’t let your public image slip now is not the time to be insecure about your accomplishments. ND

AQUARIUS

JANUARY 20TH - FEBRUARY 18TH Don’t expect a bump free ride on October 4th Aquarius, even the best-laid plans are bound to go awry. During the Full Moon on October 8th you will enjoy a small social gathering with a select group of friends. Prepare for a spiritual insight during the New Moon on October 8th. Your heart and head will be open and you will connect with others on an entirely new level.

PISCES

FEBRUARY 19TH - MARCH 20TH Your finances will be fruitful this month Pisces, money is the name of the game. This will trigger a new found independence, be proactive and not reactive and you will reap the rewards. The New Moon on October 23rd will draw you close to those around you, their concerns and how to approach them.

I’m loving everything about university except for the lectures. It’s not that I’m in bed with the hangover from hell compulsively watching catch up, I just don’t think a degree is for me. I can’t see myself making it to the end of the year let alone three. Everyone was so proud when I left for London and I’m the first in my family to go to university. How do I break it to them? Tom, London At some point every student has questioned whether they are on the right course, I even had moments right up until I graduated. But believe me this is all part of being a student and finding your feet. Not everything works out in life how you had imagined but it is best to consider your options before you act. Give your course a chance or look into transferring. But first of all, book a tutorial with your course leader. They will have seen many students over the years in the same situation. Whatever you decide, good luck. Freshers week was a blast, so much so I haven’t exactly stopped and I’m downing jager bombs on a daily basis. All my flatmates have started to settle into their courses but I’m worried that my focus is going to Sainsburys for their £4 bottle of Soave. Sarah, Falmouth

“I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right.”

You’ve moved to a different city, met a load of strangers and had information overload in lectures, so sure a glass of white has helped you along the way but don’t let this become your crutch. Keep drinking to the weekends, it’ll keep you and your bank balance healthy. If you find that scaling back your drinking is taking its toll then head to your SU for some confidential support. My neighbours in halls are doing my head in. I can hear them having sex what seems like 24/7 and to make it worse did I mention I am a virgin. I think I’ve managed to get through freshers unnoticed as a sexual novice but this constant daily reminder of what I’m missing out on is not helping. Cherry, Leicester You are not the first and definitely not the last student to arrive at university a virgin, and you know what some even leave with their flower still intact - so don’t worry. Concentrate on your course, and if the time is right it will happen. But don’t make it your mission or you might live to regret it. As for your noisy neighbours I suggest on investing on some ear plugs, hopefully they will soon tire each other out.

There are four basic human needs: food, sleep, sex and revenge.”

I’m Crazy, I’m nuts. Just the way my brain works. I’m not normal.

I won’t go into a big spiel about reincarnation, but the ﬁrst time I was in the Gucci store was the closest I’ve ever felt to home.”

I have a different constitution. I have a different brain; I have a different heart; I got tiger blood, man.

We are going to turn this team around 360 degrees

Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost an important part of your life

Predictions are difﬁcult, especially about the future.

Brooke Shields

Yogi Berra

Charlie Sheen

Britney Spears

Kanye West

Banksy

Justin Beiber

Jessica Simpson

George Bush

Jason Kidd

Is this chicken, what I have, or is this ﬁsh? I know it’s tuna, but it says ‘Chicken by the Sea.’

I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating ﬁsh. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.

est

THE UNIVERSITYPAPER

NOVEMBER 2014

MENTAL AGILITY

AND IN LOCAL NEWS:

ART STUDENT SELLS NAME CASSIE DONEY

EDINBURGH COLLEGE of Art student Alan Kerr is exploring the relation of art and advertisement by auctioning off his name to the highest bidder. Alan is offering a company the chance to legally change his name as a comment on his “annoyance with the advertisement industry – it’s everywhere.” However, he feels that most of the media have misinterpreted the project. “It’s blown up more than I thought it would. I think the media look at art as the more extreme the better; the papers like to run with the story of the mad artist. I get asked if my girlfriend thinks I’m crazy. They’ve totally missed the point; that I’m going to be a walking advertisement.” The commodification of the art world is something Alan feels strongly about. “I think there’s pressure on art students to try and make money and to carry on our work after we leave. A lot give up instead of keeping to their goals, to their dreams. Nowadays it’s seen as art’s only successful if it’s worth money, when art should be accessible to everyone.” One thing is for sure; this is no stunt in the hope of getting a high grade. Alan says, “It’s part of my art course but it’s part of my life as well.”

KNOW THE INSIDE

DO YOU

T R AC K O N

CAMPUS? IF SO THE UNIVERSITY PAPER WANTS TO HEAR FROM YOU. We are scouring the UK for student journalists, so whether you are looking for work experience or simply spending too much time in the SU, get in touch today. We are on the look out for opinion leaders and change makers who can write engaging copy. Your pieces will be printed in The University Paper which is read by thousands of students across the UK and you will get that all important byline - perfect if you are looking to build a portfolio. Not to mention that age old adage, it will look great on the CV. So if you would like to be an influential voice for the student community or just have a strong front page tell us what is going on - pitch your ideas to The University Paper, email: editor@unipaper.co.uk

NOVEMBER 2014

Picking the right part time job

HOW THE “SOCIAL YOU” CAN SCUPPER THE “REAL YOU” I guess now’s the time the more forward-thinking of you third years are starting to think about applying for jobs... constructing your CVs, agonising over the wording of your covering letters, completing endless online application forms and, if you’re lucky, being called for interviews and assessments. The rest of you are either panicking about impeding exams or are sitting in a pub with your heads ﬁrmly stuck in the sand. However all of you, unless your parents are very generous, will have to, at some point, bite the bullet and seek employment. Not just employment… a ‘real’ job… the ﬁrst step in your career. Over the next few issues I’m going to be offering you, hopefully, helpful hints and tips on the practicalities of how you go about this, e.g. where to look for jobs, what employers are really looking for, interview and CV preparation and how not to shoot yourself in the foot before you even get started.

Maintenance loans only go so far. If you want to socialise, stay entertained and still have enough money for books, you’re going to need to budget like an accountant or get a job. HELP IS AT HAND Thankfully, most universities have job boards and employment centres associated with them. These may offer jobs in the local community, or even within the university itself. But you may end up employed by people who perhaps aren’t as understanding when it comes to working with students. As such, picking the right part time job is important. So what should you be looking for?

LOOK AT HOW THEY OPERATE f they presently employ a large number of students, that’s normally a good sign as they will be used to dealing with the needs of those in study. Casual shifts, freelance work and remote work are great as they allow you to set your own hours - but these opportunities can be hard to come by.

PLAN AROUND YOUR DEGREE Avoid taking hours which are too close to scheduled study periods. If you don’t have the time to talk to staff after lectures, it may damage your degree in the long run. And remember: no job is more important than your degree, as it’s what you’re trying to fund in the first place.

That’s where we’re going to start – have you any idea how many employers ‘google’ you before they’ve properly read your CV masterpiece? Lots I’d guess, I know they shouldn’t – I bet they do. With social media becoming arguably the primary method of communication for Generation Y (that’s you), it has now become an instant snapshot of your life, your friends, your actions, your habits, your likes, your hates… in short – you. Whereas in my day, with a well constructed CV, a cleverly placed phone call or a good recruitment agent, I could make my first real impression with an employer at interview – now it’s likely to be your 5am shenanigans in Magaluff or your nek nominate in the ladies loos. So before you even put yourself out there in the job market – clean up your online self. Take down those Twitter rants rivalling James Arthur, set your privacy settings to maximum on Facebook, replace your profile shot with something innocuous and think carefully before you Instagram anything from last Friday night. The very proactive of you might even set up a LinkedIn profile – this is pretty much Facebook for business people and we’ll talk about it in coming weeks. In the meantime, take my advice and make the ‘social you’ a complementary façade for the real you. Sara Sainsbury is Group Talent Director for RSG Plc. RSG is an independently owned, and Bristol based specialist recruitment business, with over 35 years of trading history, operating across the U, and recognised as one of the Sunday Times “Top 250” fastest growing organisations in the UK, with a current turnover in excess of £170m.

THE UNIVERSITY PAPER

PROFESSIONAL INSIGHT :

ACE THE INTERVIEW So, you’ve filled out a 1000 online applications, you’ve spoken to every recruitment consultant from here to Lands End, you’ve written more covering letters and emails than you can shake a stick at – now you’ve got it….finally…an interview. APPROXIMATELY 60 minutes to launch your career trajectory, to make/break/change your life forever. No pressure then.

START WITH BASICS – this might seem blindingly obvious but you’d be amazed how many people fail at the first hurdle. Where is the interview and how do you get there? Check the date, time, location; which bus to catch, where’s the nearest car park, how long can you park there, how much change to have ready. BE ON TIME. Do not, EVER, be late for an interview, you might as well not bother showing up at all. Don’t be ridiculously early either – anything more than 10 minutes early makes you look, at best, like you’re confused between the big and the small hand, or at worst, like you’re just a little bit obsessive. WHAT IS THE INTERVIEW FORMAT? Establish in advance what the interview format will be e.g. Q&A, competency based, one to one/group/panel and how many stages there are? Who are you meeting, what is their role?

RESEARCH THE COMPANY thoroughly and make sure it’s the right company – don’t start reciting the mission statement and values of Bloggs & Co when you’re interviewing for Blaggs Plc. Look into their history, nature of business, USPs, competitors, success, values – all the information you need is just a Google search away, and interviewers know that. If you don’t demonstrate a good knowledge of their business it’s insulting to them and lazy of you. Most interviews these days are competency based, meaning the employer has a set of core competencies that are required in all their jobs. Again, you may be able, through the power of t’interweb to find out their specific competencies or you could just assume they will be along the lines of the generic e.g “team working”, “problem solving”, “taking initiative” “results driven” etc and be prepared with examples of when you displayed these traits. This is worth quite a lot of thought at this stage in your career, as whilst you may have a number of vacation or university jobs under your belt, you may not have a vast array of examples from a professional sphere. So be prepared to use examples from your school/university/ sporting/extra curricular activities.

KNOW YOURSELF. It’s a clichéd and dull interview question but the less creative interviewers amongst us could well ask “What are your weaknesses?” - do not at this point say “I’m too much of a perfectionist” unless you’re happy to receive a punch in the face – even a metaphoric one. Know your weak points but also how they can be improved with training and commitment – dwell more on your strengths.

DRESS SMARTLY. If in doubt wear a suit – preferably in a dark colour, keep the cream linen number for Hawaiian theme nights; gents wear a tie – a normal one, not a bootlace/kipper or comedy tie. Lose the facial piercings/flesh tunnels and hide all tattoos. Have normal hair – don’t overgel it/crimp it or decide to try out that crimson rinse the day before. In short, do not try to express your personality through your wardrobe on this occasion – let the employer know you are a blank canvas….a smart, respectable, well groomed blank canvas. RELAX, maintain eye contact, have a firm handshake (practice this, preferably with a friend rather than yourself), be positive and enthusiastic, keep to the point and listen. Have prepared some relevant questions – NOT “what time is lunch?” more along the lines of “what are the company’s plans for expansion”, “what’s been your progession at XXX” or “I’ve read your blog on blah blah blah, what led you to write it”? The last couple are good ones – you should’ve fully researched the interviewer so you know who you’re meeting, but everyone loves talking about themselves. THIS WORKS TWO WAYS. Finally, remember this is a two way process. You are meeting them ostensibly to “sell” yourself, however, you need to be completely comfortable with what they are describing in terms of the role, the company, the opportunity and a good interviewer will want you to “buy”. It’s your life and your choice…..there is a chance that you’ll be offered a job but you decide it’s not the one for you. That’s fine, don’t be pressurised by anyone: friends/parents or the company themselves into accepting something that doesn’t feel right for you. Just identify what you didn’t like, change the focus of your search and commence the hunt for your new opportunity with renewed vigour. Good luck!

WWW.CV-LIBRARY.CO.UK

THE UNIVERSITYPAPER

NOVEMBEBER 2014

OPPORTUNITIES

Graduate Technology Consultant

Graduate Graduate Graduate HR Assistant Tech support PHP consultant Developer (permanent)

(permanent)

Graduate Scheme Audit

Location: London Salary: £32,000

Location: London Salary: £20-£24,000

Location: Harrow Salary: £21-£23,000 D.0.E

Location: Nationwide Salary: £18,000

Job ID: UP25728050

Job ID: UPHR2201

Job ID: UPTS6505

Job ID: UPAD01

Location: Nationwide (several locations) Salary: £20-£25,000 Job ID: UP25534475

Description: My client is looking for an ambitious graduate to join a growing team. Minimum requirements: 2:1 degree, 300 UCAS points and knowledge of at least one programming language. You must have real drive and a thirst for learning. For more information and to apply please email london. graduates@reedglobal.com quoting the Job ID above.

My client is looking for intelligent, hard working graduates to their company at an entry level HR position, candidates must be keen to advance as progression will be available and you must have a good understanding of HR. Candidates must have a 2.1 and 300 ucas points. For more information and to apply please email london. graduates@reedglobal.com quoting the Job ID above

Our Client is a leading email marketing software and services provider. They are looking for an ambitious IT graduate to join their expanding technical support team in Harrow. The candidate must have a Computer Science degree and must have achieved a 2.1 or above from university. For more information and to apply please email london. graduates@reedglobal.com quoting the Job ID above.

My client is looking a graduate in a computer related degree to go into PHP developing. They are looking for someone with good knowledge in PHP, Javascript, CSS3 and HTML along with SQL. This would be ideal for someone looking to get into the software side of IT.

Graduate Web Developer

Graduate Training Managerial

Graduate Graduate Recruitment Research Consultant Associate (permanent)

(permanent)

Graduate Finance Assistant

Location: Nationwide Salary: £18,000

Location: Nationwide Salary: £25,000 Job ID: UP25690464

Location: London Salary: £25-£28,000 + discretionary bonus Job ID: UPDTR2528

Location: Nationwide Salary: £18,000 - £22,000

Job ID: UP6491746

Location: Nationwide Salary: £18-£23,000 + uncapped commission Job ID: UPDTR7698

My client is looking a graduate in a computer related degree to go into PHP developing. They are looking for someone with sound knowledge in PHP, Javascript, CSS3 and HTML. You will be involved in the development of websites for the company and their clients. For more information and to apply please email london. graduates@reedglobal.com quoting the Job ID above.

My client is looking for ambitious graduates to join a management development program. Minimum requirements: 2:1 degree, 280 UCAS points, geographically mobile around the UK. You must be able to demonstrate leadership skills or potential. An interest in transport and logistics would be beneficial. For more information and to apply please email london.graduates@reedglobal. com quoting the Job ID above..

My client is looking for an ambitious graduate to join a growing team. Minimum requirements: you must be ambitious, money hungry and willing to put in the time for big reawards. For more information and to apply please email london. graduates@reedglobal.com quoting the Job ID above

My client is looking for intelligent, hard working graduates to join an elite company based in the city of London, you must have at least a 2.1 and 320 ucas points. For more information and to apply please email london.graduates@reedglobal. com quoting the Job ID above.

My client is looking for a ambitious graduates to join their expanding company. Although they are currently based in London they are looking to open additional offices over the UK due to a continued aggressive growth plan. You must be ambitious, have ay eye for detail and passionate about a career in finance ideally with a 2:1 from a related degree. For more information and to apply please email london. graduates@reedglobal.com quoting the Job ID above

(permanent)

My client, a top 4 accountancy practice have a few spaces left on their 2014 graduate scheme - 3 year program. Minimum requirements: 2:1 degree, 300 UCAS points, English/Maths GCSE A or B. You must have an interest in Audit, study support for ACA qualification available. For more information and to apply please email london. graduates@reedglobal.com quoting the Job ID above.

(permanent)

Job ID: UPF521698

To find out more and apply please visit http://www.reed.co.uk/jobs/graduate

WWW.CV-LIBRARY.CO.UK

SPECIAL

NOVEMBER 2014

THE UNIVERSITY PAPER

ACCOMMODATION

HORROR FLATMATES: HOW TO COPE WITH YOUR FLATMATES

The honeymoon period is over… By BROGAN HOWIE PHOTO CREDIT: ERIN COUTTS

HAVING NEW flatmates is amazing - for the first week. Everyone is the best of friends. It’s going great, but before you know it you’ve all divided into groups and are having a silent war with Postits. However, with a couple of tips, this can all be avoided. - IT’S MONDAY AND THE BIN STILL HASN’T BEEN TAKEN OUT. You know whose turn it is – the Slacker. Instead of having a fit and leaving the bin outside their door be casual. Subtly suggest they come to the shops with you and on the way they can take out the bin. - THEN THERE’S THE NOISE MAKER. Great on a Saturday night in Hive, horrible on a Sunday night when you have university in the morning. Instead of buying earplugs, text them explaining you have an early class and they will be understanding. If not bang a pot off their wall all night. (Joking!) - YOU’RE HUNGOVER AND STUMBLE INTO THE LIVING ROOM, ONLY TO FIND THE ORGANISER POINTING AT CRUMBS ON THE COUNTER AND MUTTERING ABOUT A ROTA. If it’s your turn be apologetic,say you’re not well and casually clean up the crumbs. Then have a rant in your head. Works every time. -And no one is more annoying than the Blu-Tack flatmate, so named for their clinginess. They’re fine until you want to be alone. Make up an excuse. Show them a pile of books and say, ‘I have so much to do. I’ll text you when I’m finished.’

YOU AND THREE OF YOUR MATES COULD BE HEADING TO AMSTERDAM FOR VALHALLA FESTIVAL SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

FOLLOWING TWO SOLD OUT FESTIVALS, VALHALLA IS RETURNING ON DECEMBER 20TH FOR AN EVENING OF ACROBATICS, CLOWNING, FREAK AND PEEP SHOWS TO WIN FOUR FESTIVAL - NOT TO MENTION TICKETS SIMPLY EMAIL LIVE SHOWS FROM YOUR NAME, UNIVERSITY JORIS VOORN, KOLSCH, AND YEAR OF STUDENT BODDIKA, AMINE EDGE TO WIN@UNIPAPER.CO.UK AND DANCE. ENTRIES CLOSE ON DECEMBER 12TH GOOD LUCK!

VALHALLAFESTIVAL.NL

THE UNIVERSITY PAPER

BAD NEIGHBOURS: THINK YOU HAVE THE NEIGHBOUR FROM HELL? THINK AGAIN…. LIDIA MOLINA WHYTE

NOVEMBER 2014

SPOOKTACULAR HALLOWEEN PARTY

PHOTO CREDIT: JOEL GUTTERIDGE

HERE ARE three real life experiences that will teach you what not to do if you want to avoid r the first a Zac Efron versus Seth Rogen style neighbour s going war. divided “I lived on top of a strip club in first year. I with Posthad built a pretty good relationship with the can all be bouncers after countless heart to hearts at three a.m over cheesy chips. Everything changed, ASN’T BEEN however, when a flat party got a bit out of the Slacker. hand and someone decided to urinate outside n outside the window, and all over a poor, unsuspecting y come to bouncer’s head. That night I not only lost the can take out ability to leave and enter the flat safely at night, I also lost a friend.” Great on a “After a quiet night in with a couple of beers nday night turned into demolishing a crate and downing a g. Instead bottle of tequila, I ended up running around the g you have streets stark naked whilst yelling “I’m Super nding. If not Man!” at the top of my lungs. When I got back, g!) my upstairs neighbours were angrily waiting for NTO THE me in the landing and were welcomed by the ISER breath-taking sight of my naked body. It goes AND without saying it was hard to look them in the urn be eye every time we passed each other on the stair lly clean up after that.” ad. Works “I woke up after a night out in my neighbour’s kid’s empty room in my own he Blu-Tack pyjamas. I still don’t know how or why it They’re fine happened, all I know is that after running to my xcuse. Show flat and plucking up the courage to go upstairs much to do. and apologise, my neighbours didn’t have a clue I had slept in their house.”

FRANCESCA STREET

PHOTO CREDIT: FRANCESCA STREET

MAKE YOUR OWN FRIGHT NIGHT IN FIVE EASY STEPS!

3. LAST YEAR my flatmates and I threw a Halloween party that has become the stuff of legends – our friends still talk about it. Along with spooky decorations and great costumes, the main attraction was a tour of our flat, transformed into a Haunted House, which we gave to all our guests upon arrival. Want to throw the perfect Halloween party? Just follow our creepy guide – your friends will be screaming your praises! 1. Firstly our guests were greeted in a pitch black hallway by my flatmate, unrecognisable in a floor length cloak and a creepy voice. Meanwhile, my other flatmates

and I were hidden in the dark bedrooms, ready to scream and jump out at our unsuspecting friends! The guests barely had time to recover before entering our kitchen, where my fourth flatmate, lying underneath the table, grabbed their feet. After this, we turned on the lights. Our friends could finally relax and enjoy the party, believing the scary part to be over. They were wrong. My friend Martin had nobly volunteered to hide in the kitchen cupboard, wearing a Scream mask and a fake-blood stained shirt...As the kitchen lights flashed on and off, Martin jumped out from the cupboard. He was wielding our hoover, which made terrifying chainsaw noises when switched on. Our guests were scared senseless! After one group had experienced the tour and were in on the joke, they were able to join us in scaring the next poor souls to arrive!

THE UNIVERSITY PAPER

NOVEMBER 2014

SPORT SUMMARY:

SPORT

WHAT’S ON – MATCHES TO KEEP AN EYE ON ADAM STURROCK

PIC: JOHN PREECE

POM POMS AT THE READY Cheerleading… it’s not just in Mean Girls AMY LOUISE GRANT

PIC: MAXIMILLIAN LAI

CHEERLEADING is most often seen in clichéd American high school ﬁlms; but it’s become increasingly popular in Scotland, particularly amongst university students. All but three universities in Scotland now have cheerleading squads. Cheerleading has proven to be an excellent way to get more women into sport as it features a mix of stunts, jumps, dance and tumbling, which combine to create a high intensity work out with a focus on strength and ﬂexibility. The Edinburgh Napier Panthers have been a squad

for four years. Last year they entered their ﬁrst competition, the ICC Scottish Open and managed to win a bronze and silver trophy. Along with their busy competition schedule, the team also performs every year during half-time at the Edinburgh Varsity American Football game between the Napier Knights and Edinburgh Predators on Superbowl Sunday. This year the Panthers are back and stronger than ever and are setting their sights even higher by competing both at the Scottish Open and the BCA Super Classic in Newcastle in May.

THE FIRST RULE OF SURF CLUB… SURF’S UP CRAIG LEIPER

WHILE OCTOBER is traditionally known for its Halloween celebrations, many students can look forward to some tightly contested sporting events all across Edinburgh’s universities. Many of Edinburgh’s sports societies truly kick into gear with the male and female basketball and football teams being a highlight of some unquestionably exciting events to watch and participate in. Here is just a taster of what is to come in the current month. Napier University’s women’s basketball team will play University of Aberdeen at home on the 5th November, following fixtures with Strathclyde and Stirling, just after Napier’s recent close encounter against Dundee University’s 2nd team – with Napier winning by a mere one point. Later on in the month, Edinburgh Napier’s 1st male team play host to the

University of Dundee’s 3rd team at the Engage Sports Centre on the 29th October. The capital city’s sole representative in the women’s Rugby Union, Edinburgh University, face up against the University of Birmingham and Durham University in what looks to be an interesting group this year, while Queen Margaret University’s male Rugby Union team will battle it out against the University of Aberdeen 4th team on the 22nd at the Musselburgh club stadium after previously playing against the Edinburgh University 4th team on the 8th October and the University of Abertay 2nd team on the 15th. If hockey is your thing, watch Heriot-Watt men’s 1st team play Edinburgh Uni at the Peffermill Playing Fields on Wednesday 22nd October or go and see the 3rd women’s team play the University of Sterling at the CSE. One of the newest sports to

be added to the BUCS league, American football, finally kicks off its 2014-15 season in early November with both the Edinburgh University and Edinburgh Napier mixed teams facing off in the 2014-2015 Border group. The University of the West of Scotland will play an early game against Edinburgh University at the Robertson Sports Centre on the 2nd November before heading over to the capital to face Edinburgh Napier at Sighthill on the 8th November. On the other side of the capital, a tantalising encounter between the two big cities awaits as Edinburgh University faces off against Glasgow University in what might be a hotly fought match on the 8th. Instead of chattering away as summer fades and the Scottish winter draws near, why not head over and warm yourselves up with a cup of Bovril by supporting your University teams.

PIC: NAPIER SURF CLUB

Q&A with the Surf Club’s training coach Rachel Hender CONSIDERING EDINBURGH Napier Surf Club was only founded one year ago, its popularity has been incredible with over 60 members already signed up to trash some waves. I met with Rachel Hender, second year Napier Journalism student and Surf Club Training Coach for what proved to be a pretty gnarly conversation amongst the waves of Napier’s ever-growing sport society. Q: What’s the first rule of Surf Club? A: There isn’t one really. If you’re interested give it a go,

anyone can pick it up. Q: Is surfing in the North Sea discouraging potential Australian members? A: We do have an Australian girl actually and I’m German. Surfing is not just for Australians! The North Sea is really good for surfing, it’s not too cold when you have a wet suit on and you’re too busy enjoying surfing to care. Q: Describe an average Surf Club week. A: I take training in the Meadows and we do Swim Training in the Commonwealth

pool also. We try to get out (to sea) at least once per week if possible. We have Surf nights out too, the people are good fun. Q: What makes Surf Club better than other University Sports Societies? A: There is no better feeling than catching your first wave. You don’t have to compete at Surf Club, it’s easy going. Q: Have you seen the Youtube video of the Surfing Pig? A: Yeah, it’s a pretty cool pig! I wish I could surf like that!

THE UNIVERSITY PAPER

NOVEMBER 2014

SPORT

IT’S GOING SWIMMINGLY

DEEP SEA DIVERS OF NAPIER DONNA FOULIS

PIC: NAPIER SUB AQUA CLUB

EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY’S SWIM TEAM SPEAK ABOUT COMMONWEALTH GLORY AND WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS KIERAN SCOTT

PHOTO CREDIT: EDIINBURGH SWIM TEAM

IT IS post-Commonwealth, the storm has calmed, but for the Edinburgh University swim team, it’s just another day at the pool. With a team that holds 12 Commonwealth Games participants, one going as far as winning a Bronze medal, no wonder the group of renowned young athletes succeed every year. That young student who won the Bronze medal in breaststroke is Corrie Scott. “It was the best achievement ever,” she said. “After training at Tollcross in Glasgow since 12 with all those good times and bad times to then win at Tollcross was even better.” They’ve won the Scottish Senior Team Championship while holding their position as the best team in Scotland, but theyy’re not resting on their laurels. In this sport, there is no room for complacency. The Swimming Club President, Emma Bird, focuses on training methods that don’t solely involve swimming. “Pre-season has included a range of things: boxing, climbing, sprints and even some ultimate Frisbee,” said Emma. “It’s all about mixing it up and welcoming our new members to the team.” The team has introduced an influx of new members, which has established a second team to get everybody involved. With an expanded team, the squad have to strike a balance of which members are getting into what team, but typically there is always one athlete determined to break into that top group. Edinburgh don’t happen to be the only superior team in their league which leaves less room for contentment and relaxation in their attitude with more future titles still thriving

to be won. “Big teams such as Warrender, Glasgow and Stirling have great set-ups and contain quality athletes so retaining that team crown will be a tough ask, but our new team is raring to go for the year ahead already,” said Emma. “A main aim for the club is to become one of the best clubs in Britain, something that we have started to achieve,” said Emma. “We have many athletes capable of performances

that will impact on a national and international stage so next year will be really exciting to see how we can fair against the might of teams like Loughborough and Bath.” After their massive success in the Commonwealth games and the surge of new blood to the team, they’re well on their way to not just being a successful Scottish team, but a British one too.

THE SUB aqua club is one of Napier’s longest running sports societies. With around thirty active members and past students staying on as instructors, it’s a society that welcomes anyone interested in learning how to scuba dive. Not being a competitive sport, the club describe themselves as more of an ‘underwater exploration group.’ One of their members even uses their diving skills while feeding the sharks at Deep Sea World! Budget wise, it is student friendly with the opportunity to gain world recognised qualifications, making it a great opportunity for trying something a bit different. Newcomers benefit from weekly training sessions at the Commonwealth Pool, with trips to locations such as Loch Long, Oban and The Farne Islands to try out their diving skills in the open water. And it’s not all hard work. Regular trips to the pub means you’ll find out what happens when you run into a seal underwater – and you’ll have some great stories of your own to tell in no time!

YOU AND THREE OF YOUR MATES COULD BE HEADING TO AMSTERDAM FOR VALHALLA FESTIVAL SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

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