The University Paper Edinburgh - October 2014 by The University Paper

EDINBURGH

A COPY OF DESTINY & A PS4:

OCTOBER 2014

FRESHERS EDITION THE BEST OF FRESHERS WEEK

PAGE 03

FIND OUT HOW ON PAGE 36

MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR NEW CITY

PAGES 03, 08-09, & 10-11

WELCOME to the best three years of your life CASSIE DONEY

FOUR UNIVERSITIES, OVER 50,000 STUDENTS, ONE CAPITAL. Edinburgh’s Fresher’s week has kicked off the year with a bang. Returning students; welcome back. Freshers; prepare for the best four years of your life in the greatest place on earth. If you’re just arriving, then we’d also like to take this opportunity to introduce ourselves at the University Paper. We’re a different kind of student publication printing in 16 cities across the country, ranging all the way from Swansea to Sheffield -- and beyond. Over the next academic year, we’ll be bringing you the best local news and entertainment Edinburgh has to offer coupled with exclusive national content. To celebrate, we’re running a tongue-in-cheek analysis of the student cities we serve. Each has a population that’s as unique as its location, but how distinct are we talking? Here are some facts -- good and bad -- about each. Given that it’s the reason you’re here, the academic side of things is the most obvious starting point. Warwick University has never been ranked outside of the Top 10 UK major university rankings, and is the only university aside Oxford and Cambridge to have achieved this. However, the University of Edinburgh is the highest ranked University Paper university in the world, coming in at a hugely impressive number 17. Estimates

suggest there are over 16,000 institutions that provide higher education in the world, so if you’re an Edinburgh student, you can feel very smug indeed. Edinburgh also has the highest amount of money spent per student -- but it’s Glasgow that has the most satisfied students according to the National Student Survey, with 91% responding positively this year. A slightly dubious honour falls on the city of Glasgow, where the women of the city buy more fake tan than anybody else in the UK. Tesco also reported that Glasgow leads the way when it comes to buying extra-large condoms, in a league table that also included Manchester and Bristol. Admirably, the academic community in Bristol set themselves apart when the University of Bristol became the first university to admit male and female students onto taught degrees as equals. 15% of Sheffield Students are virgins, so if you’re a reader from Sheffield and you’ve yet to have experience your first time, you can take solace in the fact you’re not alone (or in Glasgow). Our most promiscuous city is Liverpool, where students at Liverpool Hope have had on average 6 partners since starting university in a similar survey. Depending on your perspective, this may be a point of shame or pride. I’ll leave it to you to pass

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 19

DON’T THROW AWAY YOUR LIFE AT UNIVERSITY DANIEL ROBBINS

PICTURE CREDITS: SWNS.COM

UNIVERSITY IS A TIME for many things but getting stuck in a bin shouldn’t be one of them! Independence, responsibility and of course embarrassment are three buzz words that go hand in hand with one of the biggest steps in your life. This step provides the platform to produce the stories that will stick with, or in this case haunt, you forever. Some will shed in you in a good light,

for instance showing independence by looking after yourself in what is likely your ﬁrst time away from home. Other stories fall on the other side and cause embarrassment, something this Manchester student knows a lot about. Robin Niven is the name currently on everyone’s lips and like most embarrassing stories that happen during university years, he was on his way back from a night

out when the incident occurred. Yes, that’s right; he managed to get himself stuck in a bin and luckily for us all, his friends were there to record it. Many students will be able to tell you of countless stupid things they have done following a night out. Whether that be forgetting where you live when ordering a taxi (a common one) or getting on the wrong side of a drinking

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game dare. However, very few, if any, will end up with the story concluding in someone being stuck in a bin. And even fewer will involve firemen. Yes - he really was that stuck. Robin had to be rescued by three fire fighters before his ordeal was finally over. The story all starts with a night out in Manchester.

» CONTINUED ON PAGE 19

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FRESHERS GUIDE

SPECIAL

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

UNSPOKEN RULES OF UNIVERSITY CASSIE DONEY

MAKING THE MOST OUT OF FIRST YEAR CASSIE DONEY

PHOTO CREDIT: ARACELI SEGRETO TROMBETTA

Being told that you’re about to experience the best four years of your life can be daunting. There’s a lot of pressure to get top grades, make lifelong friends, and party until dawn every week. One thing to remember is that Edinburgh has a rich cultural history and you’re not going to see much of it if you stay on George Street until 3am every night. Pop your head around the door of an art gallery sometime, or go to see your university’s theatre society perform. Edinburgh’s unusual in that it’s home to four different universities, and it’s tempting to stick to your tribe. Rivalries are only cool in films; booing Heriot

Watt students as they enter the club isn’t funny or clever. You’re all trying to muddle through the next four years; you’d may as well try and get along. What else? Oh yeah, classes – try and go to some. If you’re not Scottish, you’re paying for them so don’t waste your money. If you are Scottish – free classes! If you’re feeling extra studious, you could even venture into your university library. (I hear Edinburgh’s has a cat. Jealous.) You don’t want to be standing dazed on that stage, clutching your degree and wishing you’d done something different with your time. So make the most of it; you’re only young and bonnie once.

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Every university has their own code of conduct – we enlisted the help of three experienced students to guide you through them! QMU Firstly, don’t underestimate your lecturers. They are complex webs of wonder (and also control your grades!) Secondly, don’t play around the journal section of the library. It may seem like fun to trap your friend between the electronically controlled doors, but it’s a horror film waiting to happen. Plus, the librarian WILL tell you off. The final and most important rule - BEWARE OF THE SWANS. Beautiful and majestic they may be, but their military abilities are unprecedented. If you see a swan, walk away as fast as you can! NAPIER UNIVERSITY Doing an all nighter in the Kilby is a rite of passage. Naps are your new best friend, and procrastination will be your worst enemy. (Don’t they have rehab for that?) No matter how late you stay, you’ll always find yourself running to hand in an assignment after no sleep with a couple of minutes to spare. You need to get your adrenaline rush from somewhere, after all. Hive will become part of your night out routine, despite continued announcements that you’ll never go again. When you do venture out of it, you’ll begrudge paying more than £1.50 for a drink.

You’ll spend more time coming up with ways to avoid doing the reading than it would have taken just to do it. Where is the library, anyway? You’ll develop bitingly sarcastic responses to people who question your choice of degree. And an equally irritated response to people who automatically assume you must be at Edinburgh University as soon as you say you’re studying here. EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY If you arrive more than two minutes late to class, just leave. The knowledge you might gain from one lecture is just not worth the stares of hundreds of eyes as you walk to your seat, or worse, the lecturer making a snide comment on your life habits. Do not stroll through the George Square gardens on the way to class. More often than not you’ll try every gate before realising the one you came in is the only one unlocked, forcing you to go back, be late for class, and consequently miss class (see rule one). While entering or exiting Appleton Tower, it is customary to walk as slowly as possible, several students abreast, so as to barricade anyone who might be running late. The queue for the King’s Shuttle is only for show. Two minutes before the bus arrives, create a mob-like frenzy with your fellow science and maths students and violently push your way onto the bus to fight for a space.

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FRESHERS GUIDE

SPECIAL

Guide to the City

CASSIE DONEY

PHOTO CREDIT: CASSIE DONEY

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

COMPLETE GUIDE

TO BECOMING A

BNOC CASSIE DONEY

EDINBURGH IS AN AMAZING PLACE TO GO TO UNIVERSITY there’s nothing quite like standing on Arthur’s Seat or on the top of Scott’s monument and looking down over the Scottish capital. With its multiple Universities, it can sometimes be hard to establish yourself in campus life – but with these tips, you can make an impression for all the right reasons.

Edinburgh; it’s the home of deep fried Mars bars, Scottish Parliament and Harry Potter. And if you’re reading this, it might just have become your home as well. Get to know the city a little better in your time here – there’s more to student life than just lectures! As capital cities go, Edinburgh’s pretty small. You can easily cover most of the centre on foot within a day, which makes it handy for exploring with your new friends. There are lots of pubs and bars you can try out, from the quirky to the creepy. The Secret Polish Vodka Bar is hidden just off the Royal Mile and is great for pre-drinks with a difference – over 80 flavoured vodkas to try out guarantees you won’t get bored. If you fancy a scare, pop into Banshee’s Labyrinth, allegedly the most haunted nightclub in Scotland. If cheesy chart

toppers are more your thing, student favourite Hive is the place for you. To nurse that hangover next morning, the Elephant House, where JK Rowling penned the famous Harry Potter series, is a must-visit. And student hangout The Black Medicine Company is great for a caffeine boost with an atmosphere. If boozing isn’t your bag (or you just want to give your liver a break) there are plenty of cultural activities to enjoy. Edinburgh’s home to some of the UK’s best art galleries, and they often have free exhibitions or student concessions available. The Cameo cinema, in Tollcross, is the haunt of every budding film student; all-day marathons of cult classics plus the latest releases? Pass us the popcorn! Edinburgh overall is a great city; it’s got a vibrant University scene

and there’s always stuff for students to do instead of revising. There are also a few quirks that make it entirely unique, and learning how to navigate these is all part of student life. We’ll give you a few tips; always take an umbrella. National dress may as well be a rain poncho instead of a kilt! Don’t moan too much about tourists; yeah, they’re annoying, especially during the Fringe in August, but it wouldn’t be Edinburgh if you didn’t walk into a holiday snap every time you leave the house. One final word to the wise – salt and sauce on chips does NOT mean ketchup. Chippy sauce in Edinburgh is a mix of vinegar and brown sauce and can ruin your night (and your chips) if you’re not careful. Stick to chips and cheese, and save the haggis for the morning after.

RUN FOR OFFICE Whether you’ve got serious political ambitions or you’ve just binge-watched House of Cards, running for student council can get you noticed. Holding a public position can leave you in good stead for later careers as well, so if you’re interested in making your university better for all students, print out those campaign posters and practice your speeches. GET INVOLVED IN SOCIETIES Everyone loves a Jack (or Jill) of all trades, so pop down to your Fresher’s fairs and sign up for everything that looks good. Always wanted to try rock-climbing or play an instrument? Now is the perfect time to learn! Go to as many socials as you can; not only will you experience new things and get your face seen, but you’ll probably make some great friends.

SCRUB UP We’re not saying you have to suit up for every lecture; wearing a tie at nine in the morning is something even lecturers don’t like to do! But you’ll get noticed for all the wrong reasons if you show up every day in trackie bottoms or your pyjamas. A clean shirt and shoes goes a long way to impressing people. WORK HARD… Your lecturers are vital; they grade you, give you references, and can become contacts later in your career. So learn as much as you can from them; popping along to office hours and attending seminars show you’re serious about your degree and leaves a lasting impression. …AND PLAY HARD All work and no play… you know how it goes. University is the last time it’s acceptable for you to let loose – before you know it, you’ll be entering the adult world (gulp.) If you want people to know your name, you’ve got to put it out there, and that means putting on your dancing shoes and hitting the town. Whether you go to university functions to network, ceilidhs to show off your moves, or frequent Edinburgh’s range of nightclubs, socialising is the best way to win friends and influence people.

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THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

5 ‘Moving In’ ice-breakers DONNA FOULIS

Living with new people can be daunting – become everyone’s new best mate with these handy tips! SAY HELLO Sounds really obvious, I know, but everyone might be feeling a bit shy and awkward so take the plunge and go introduce yourself as soon as you hear the tell-tale scurrying of people unpacking OPEN THAT DOOR Being faced with closed doors doesn’t give off a very welcoming vibe. Propping your door open while you’re in there organising your socks lets your flatmates know that you do exist and are keen for some human interaction.

PUT THE KETTLE ON Not very rock and roll, but offering your new flatmates a cup of tea invites conversation and creates a relaxed and friendly environment. HITTING THE BOOZE Getting together for a few drinks eases the tension a bit. Whether you go all out with inventing your own version of Ring Of Fire or just have a few pints down the pub, it’s guaranteed to get the conversation flowing. INCLUDE EVERYONE Not everyone is in to parties, so if one of your flatmates doesn’t want to join in then find something to do that doesn’t involve getting too wild – go paintballing or just explore the city!

Funniest moments & pictures from Freshers If you’re reading this, you’ve survived Fresher’s week – congratulations! But you won’t have come out unscathed, and in solidarity we asked our writers to donate their best (and worst!) stories from Fresher’s weeks gone by. Learn from our mistakes – and have a good laugh! --I had one too many vodka cokes and ended up trying to sleep in the bathroom with no clothes on. When my new flatmates tried to move me, I told them they weren’t cool, and that my real friends would let me sleep in the toilet. Amazingly, we are still great friends and live together, but they never let me forget that night. --Someone pooped in the elevator. Enough said. --I climbed Arthur’s Seat the morning after a night out “to see the sun rise.” I ended up seeing last night’s pizza again. Good view though. --I had a one night stand on the first night of Fresher’s week to kick off what I thought would be the wildest four years of my life. Three years on, my one night stand and I are happily living together and hope to own puppy in the near future. It doesn’t get wilder than this

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COMMENT FRESHERS

GUIDE

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

SPECIAL

We confront the issues that ma er to you, right here on campus. Have an opinion? Contact us at: editor@unipaper.co.uk to have your say

THE BIG QUESTION

Alcohol-Free Freshers Week: Is it doable? ELLIE JONES

PHOTO CREDIT: KATIE MATTHEWS

What instantly springs to mind is alcohol’s reputation as a social lubricant, giving you the licence to make declarations of “You’re my new best friend!” to every other person you meet. To be fair, the library tour may not provide this kind of closeness. The problem is that when you wake up on the first day of lectures, the absurdity of freshers’ week is already falling into a fuzzy half-memory. And you’re still a long way from finding the stability that your life had just a week ago. The fact remains that friendships need more time than the queue for the toilets to develop. The process of settling in extends far beyond that first week of madness – alcohol can only take you so far.

BROOKE FORSETH

Edinburgh has a unique charm for tourists and Scottish nationals alike. The political capital hoards dozens of iconic landmarks, making itself an internationally renowned hotspot. However, both tourists and permanent residents often discover that whilst Edinburgh is foremost in cultural diversity, it doesn’t hold the same standard when it comes to music. It’s true that a great night out is heavily dependent on the people you’re with. But it is even more true that if music is your clubbing priority, Edinburgh is greatly lacking in options. This is especially so for fans of live or house music. In terms of deep house, the most viable option is Cabaret Voltaire, and other clubs offer it only on infrequent nights. And what about other up-and-coming sub-genres of house music, such as trap, trance, drum and bass, trip-hop? For these, keen EDM fans find that their watering hole is too small, and flock to Glasgow where there are many more clubs to choose from. And spare a thought for those who prefer a gig to a DJ – since the closure of HMV Picturehouse, the Edinburgh music scene has been sadly lacking any big venues for bands or performers, and smaller venues such as Electric Circus often sell out quickly. Thankfully, new production companies have noticed this gap and are planning to redefine the clubbing scene. One proactive addition to the city is Nightvision, a new promotion company which plans to take advantage of Edinburgh’s most iconic venues and transform them into electronic events with experienced DJs. Also joining the scene is La Belle Angelle which, influenced by sister club in Glasgow, will open in Cowgate this month. With a bit more of a push from promotion companies, Edinburgh’s night scene could become a much more interesting place – and encourage people to flock to the capital for reasons other than a simple castle visit.

AS THE INFAMOUS FRESHER’S WEEK One thing we can all agree on is that the majority of students starting university this September will be expecting to get as catastrophically drunk as possible, in an array of unconventional outfits over the course of their first week. However, this mindset does not apply to the rest of University life, as very few students manage to sustain this level of debauchery once freshers’ week is over. Looking back, the first week bears little resemblance to anything that comes later. So why has this become the almost universal right of passage to University?

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SPECIAL

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

Indepth, Insightful, & uncompromising: Interviews with BITE

TO BE FRANK The phrase ‘hardest-working man in show business’ is overused. And more than that, it’s an impossible thing to measure. But, if there was a league table, you can bet Frank Turner would be up there. The folk-punk singer has been touring in one shape or another for the past 16 years, whether as part of his short-lived “terrible” school band Kneejerk, the much-missed post-punk band Million Dead or as a solo artist. He’s heading out on the road again in September, his second UK tour this year. This time, however, there are a few differences. Firstly, the venues Turner and his band, The Sleeping Souls, are performing in are off the beaten path. It’s a nod to the fact Turner, after being born in Bahrain, grew up close to Winchester in the Hampshire village of Meonstoke, and bands very rarely, if ever, came to play nearby. “It’s also a nod of respect to people who like my music,” he says. “I am aware not everyone lives in London, Glasgow, Manchester and Birmingham. And people are so entitled these days. As soon as we announced these gigs, people in the cities were saying, ‘There’s nowhere near me’, so I say ‘Yes there is, there’s this place, which is 15 minutes on the train’. Those guys in the sticks have to travel all the time. “Plus, as well as keeping fans on their toes, it’s more interesting for me and my crew to go to new places, too.” The other reason Turner’s forthcoming run of shows will be different is that rather than promoting an album - his fifth album Tape Deck Heartcame out last year - he and the band are going to be playing all-new songs in preparation for recording their sixth. “We’re going into the studio in October,” he explains. “I’ve long had the feeling I’m yet to make a record that captures what we sound like live. You can think about methodology and studio craft all you want, but why not just go into the studio on the back of a tour when we’re sounding great? “And I’ve got way too many songs for an album - 19 at last count - so we’re going to play lots of them, and we will work out what to put on the record from that. Not that I’m going to be saying, ‘That went down well, let’s put it on the record’, but I’ll get a good idea from crowd reaction and from playing the songs each night.” His next album, he expects, will be released at the end of February, and will feature one song called Love Forty Down, a metaphor for being in your Thirties and being “rubbish at relationships”, inspired by hearing some friends playing table tennis one night. Another is called Get Better, which shares a title with a song by his friends Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip. “I rang Pip to ask if it was OK to share the title and not only did he say yes, but he offered to remix the song for us as well.” There’s not much sign of this workload stopping. Despite 2014 seeing him play all over the world, Turner’s team are currently booking shows, provisionally at least, for 2016. “I live a life that revolves around album cycles, and those shows are definitely written in pencil rather than pen, but yeah, it’s all being planned.

“It’s more interesting for me and my crew to go to new places, too.”

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.” After a summer of playing festivals all over Europe, he’s particularly excited to get back to playing his own shows, while this summer marked the point where he’d been touring for more than half his life. “I did my first tour in 1998, which was 16 years ago, and now I’m 32, so yeah, half my life on the road. I think we celebrated with another gig, which seemed about right.” Turner was born in Muharraq in Bahrain. His father was a banker and was on a posting to the Middle East in the early Eighties, and Turner lived there for the first six months of his life. “The main impact that it has on my life is that the place of birth on my passport is Muharraq. Try getting into the US with Muharraq written on your passport,” he says. His grandfather, Sir Mark Turner, was once chairman of high street chain BHS, while his father, Roger, worked in investment banking, and his mum Jane is a primary school headteacher. The life of a travelling folk singer perhaps seems unlikely for a former Eton pupil (Turner studied alongside Prince William at the elite school), and much has been made in the past of his background and political beliefs. Turner describes himself as a “classic liberal” in line with many modern libertarians, and has beliefs based on “democracy, individuality, equality of opportunity, distrust of power and, above all else, freedom, including economic freedom”. He has ‘Freeborn’ tattooed on his knuckles, as well as the ama-gi Sumerian cuneiform on his arm, the first written reference to the word ‘Freedom’ found in southern Mesopotamia, now modern Iraq, although as he gets older, he says he’s less inclined to share his politics at all. For now, at least, he’s concerning himself with his music - “The only thing I’m really interested in” - and preparations for album six. “I have a title but I can’t tell you what it is,” he says, though he will reveal it’ll be an upbeat collection, after the break-up confessional of Tape Deck Heart. “I want it to be shorter, too. We did a deluxe album for the last one, which seems confused to me in retrospect,” Turner adds. “I want the next one to be a 12-track album - simple and direct.”

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

WHAT’S ON

The BEST nights this Freshers week & throughout the month

THIS MONTH MONDAY 15TH SEPTEMBER

● Mixed Up Mondays @THE HIVE ● Opium: Rockeoke @ THE HIVE ● The Antihoot Open Stage @HENRY’S CELLAR BAR ● Move with Mia Dora @ CABARET VOLTAIRE ● Flare Mondays @WHYNOT TUESDAY 16TH SEPTEMBER

● I Love Hip Hop @THE BONGO CLUB ● Psych-Out Party @HENRY’S CELLAR BAR ● Hive Tuesdays @ THE HIVE ● Mad Tango Open Mic @THE BLIND PO ● Hector’s House @ CABARET VOLTAIRE WEDNESDAY 17TH SEPTEMBER

● Dragonforce @THE LIQUID ROOM ● Made of Metal, @ OPIUM ● Fortune Promotions Presents Go!zilla UK tour @ THE MASH HOUSE ● Wednesday is the New Saturday @HENRY’S CELLAR BAR: ● The Liquid Rooms @TRIBE THURSDAY 18TH SEPTEMBER

● Shangrila Presents Wankelmut @THE LIQUID ROOM ● Max Burwell’s Rockeoke @THE BLIND PO ● Sugar Club @ THE OPAL LOUNGE ● Bounce @LOLA LO FRIDAY 19TH SEPTEMBER

● MISFITS Friday @THE HIVE ● Propaganda @ THE LIQUID ROOM ● Night Vision Launch Weekend Part 1 with Chase & Status @CITY NIGHTCLUB ● Jukebox @ LULU

CABARET BAR ● Mad Tango Open Mic @THE BLIND POET ● Hector’s House @ CABARET VOLTAIR ● Dirty Sexy Tuesday @LULU WEDNESDAY 24TH SEPTEMBER

● Tribe @THE LIQUID ROOM ● Edinburgh University Jazz Orchestra @THE JAZZ BAR ● Mansion @THE OPAL LOUNGE ● Shakedown Wednesdays @WHYNOT ● Teatime Acoustic @THE JAZZ BAR: THURSDAY 25TH SEPTEMBER

● Bounce @LOLA LO ● Student Band Night @ TEVIOT UNDERGROUND ● Temple Thursdays @SILK ● Max Burwell’s Rockeoke @ THE BLIND POET ● The Opal Lounge @SUGAR CLUB FRIDAY 26TH SEPTEMBER

● Propaganda @THE LIQUID ROOM ● City presents Darren Styles + Mallorca Lee @CITY NIGHTCLUB ● Fortune Promotions Presents Fortunes Unsigned @BANNERMAN’S BAR ● Frisky Fridays, @SILK ● Meet the Makers @INDIGO YARD

SUNDAY 21ST SEPTEMBER

● The Club @THE HIVE ● Sunday Service @THE BLIND POET ● The Deepend of the Weekend Open Mic @ THE BLIND POET ● Teatime Acoustic @THE JAZZ BAR ● The Sunday Sinner @THE JAZZ BAR

● Bubblegum @THE HIVE ● Neon Waltz @ELECTRIC CIRCUS ● Cover Story + Shame + Off The Rails @ HENRY’S CELLAR BAR ● Dirty Disko with Kandy Cocktails @SILK ● Saturday Night Live Presents Meltdown @ THE JAM HOUSE SUNDAY 28TH SEPTEMBER

● Ska Sunday @THE CITRUS CLUB ● The Deepend of the Weekend Open Mic @ THE BLIND POET ● Sunday Service @THE BLIND POET ● Teatime Acoustic @THE JAZZ BAR ● Tipsy @LULU ● The Sunday Sinner @THE JAZZ BAR MONDAY 29TH SEPTEMBER

● Dusky @THE LIQUID ROOM ● Flare Mondays @ WHYNOT ● Mixed Up Mondays @ THE HIVE ● Big Band Night @THE JAZZ BAR TUESDAY 30TH SEPTEMBER

MONDAY 22ND SEPTEMBER

● Big Band Night @THE JAZZ BAR ● Flare Mondays @WHYNOT ● Mixed Up Mondays @THE HIVE ● Dusky @THE LIQUID ROOM ● The Rum Club @LULU TUESDAY 23RD SEPTEMBER

● Deliverance @OPIUM ● Grassroots Comedy @

THURSDAY 2ND OCTOBER

● Mayhem @OPIUM ● Hullabaloo @THE BONGO CLUB ● Temple Thursdays @SILK ● Max Burwell’s Rockeoke @THE BLIND POET: ● Sugar Club @THE OPAL LOUNGE FRIDAY 3RD OCTOBER

● Propaganda @THE LIQUID ROOM ● Frisky Fridays @SILK ● Pandemonium @OPIUM ● Yin Yang @OPAL ● Bednarek @THE LIQUID ROOM

● Mad Tango Open Mic @ THE BLIND POET ● Hector’s House @CABARET VOLTAIRE ● Dirty Sexy Tuesday @LULU WEDNESDAY 1ST OCTOBER

● ECookie @THE HIVE ● Mansion @THE OPAL LOUNGE ● Shakedown Wednesdays @WHYNOT

SATURDAY 11TH OCTOBER

● Dirty Deeds @OPIUM ● Smirnoff’s Big Night Out @ CAV ● Dirty Disko with Kandy Cocktails @SILK ● Nightvision Presents Knee Deep with Hot Since 82, Huxley & more @THE LIQUID ROOM

SUNDAY 12TH OCTOBER

● Words and Music By Dan Wilson @ELECTRIC CIRCUS ● Ska Sunday @ THE CITRUS CLUB ● Art of Privilege + Transcension + A Ritual Spirit + Inherit The Empire @ THE VOODOO ROOMS ● Sunday Service @ THE BLIND POET

SATURDAY 4TH OCTOBER

● After Dark Rum Club @ LOLA LO ● WhyNot Saturdays @ WHYNOT ● Dirty Disko with Kandy Cocktails @SILK ● Karnival & Pulse Presents Dubfire @THE LIQUID ROOM

● Flare Mondays @WHYNOT ● Mixed Up Mondays @ THE HIVE ● Big Band Night @ THE JAZZ BAR ● Rockeoke @ Opium

SUNDAY 5TH OCTOBER

TUESDAY 14TH OCTOBER

● Freddie Stevenson @THE VOODOO ROOMS ● Sunday Service @THE BLIND POET ● Teatime Acoustic @THE JAZZ BAR ● The Club @THE HIVE MONDAY 6TH OCTOBER

SATURDAY 27TH SEPTEMBER

SATURDAY 20TH SEPTEMBER

● Dirty Disko with Kandy Cocktails @ SILK ● Tease Age @THE CITRUS CLUB ● Jack Daniel’s Birthday @CAV ● Tijuana Bibles + The Dark Jokes @ELECTRIC CIRCUS ● Soul Obsession (club) @HENRY’S CELLAR BAR

● Teatime Acoustic @THE JAZZ BAR ● The Katet! @THE JAZZ BARS

● Flare Mondays @WHYNOT ● Mixed Up Mondays @THE HIVE ● Big Band Night @ THE JAZZ BAR ● Rockeoke @OPIUM TUESDAY 7TH OCTOBER

● Max Dury @THE VOODOO ROOMS ● Flare Presents Klingande @THE LIQUID ROOM ● Mad Tango Open Mic @THE BLIND POET ● Hector’s House @ CABARET VOLTAIRE ● Dirty Sexy Tuesday @LULU Wednesday 8th October ● Champion Sound @THE BONGO CLUB ● Shakedown @WHYNOT ● City presents the MTV club tour tickets @ CITY ● Mansion, @THE OPAL LOUNGE ● Teatime Acoustic @THE JAZZ BAR

THURSDAY 9TH OCTOBER

● HI- SOCIETY @THE HIVE ● Fortune’s Promotions Presents The Altered Hours @ BANNERMAN’S BAR ● Temple Thursdays @ SILK ● Max Burwell’s Rockeoke @ THE BLIND POET ● Sugar Club @THE OPAL LOUNGE

FRIDAY 10TH OCTOBER

● Propaganda @THE LIQUID ROOM ● Planet Earth @ THE CITRUS CLUB ● Frisky Fridays @SILK ● Flux Fridays @ WHYNOT

MONDAY 13TH OCTOBER

● Hive Tuesdays @ THE HIVE ● Mad Tango Open Mic @THE BLIND POET ● Hector’s House @CABARET VOLTAIRE ● Dirty Sexy Tuesday @LULU ● I Love Hip Hop @THE BONGO CLUB

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

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BEST NIGHTS OUT THIS FRESHERS WEEK : FLARE WhyNot’s Monday student night has been on the go for over fifteen years. Once you’ve paid your way in the drinks are cheap, the music is cheerful and if you’re feeling fly there’s drinks packages and a VIP section. HECTOR’S HOUSE Tuesdays at Cabaret Voltaire; the place to go for house, techno and hip hop among other genres. It’s a refreshing change from the standard chart music you hear in most bars with a quirky and chilled out venue. TRIBE Wednesdays at Liquid Rooms is Edinburgh Napier’s official student night, although all students are welcome. A good place to go if you’re looking for a straight up clubbing experience with the hottest dance tracks. TEMPLE Silk describes itself as ‘Edinburgh’s biggest Thursday.’ The drink prices are student friendly, starting from £1 and the theme nights make it a fun way to brighten up your Thursday in preparation for the weekend. BUBBLEGUM The Hive is a pillar of Edinburgh’s student life, and its Saturday nights is guaranteed to be buzzing. With two different dance floors and low-priced drinks there’s something for everyone. PEACE AND LOVE This is a new student night which has recently launched at Cav on Sunday nights with a sixties, hippy style twist. Cav is another student friendly venue and is conveniently located for those of you staying in the Tollcross area.

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

11 Need a little something to spice up your pre-party? Check out Mindbenders

Âť MINDBENDERS ON PAGE 28

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THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

BY PHIL HAMILTON

PICTURES: BANG SHOWBIZ AGENCY

‘This Is How I Do’ Katy Perry is planning to write a tell-all book. The ‘This Is How We Do’ hitmaker has reportedly been oﬀered a number of multi-million dollar book deals from American publishers who are convinced her story will be a worldwide hit. IN ADDITION to the breakdown of her marriage to Russell Brand - whom she split from in 2011, 14 months after they tied the knot - they’re also hoping she’ll spill the beans on her other high profile relationships with John Mayer and Gym Class Heroes star Travie McCoy. They also believe stories about her childhood would make for great reading as the queen of pop was brought up in a strict Christian family and was initially trying to make it as a gospel singer before becoming a household name with hits such as ‘I Kissed A Girl’ and ‘California Gurls’. A source said: “Her story and relationships are fascinating to many people in America, from her pop fans, Christian groups and star-loving book readers.”

Katy is reported to have been worried that Russell was going to open up about their sex life in a book of his own after he refused to agree to a gagging order in their divorce papers. However, he’s now shelved plans for a third instalment of his ‘My Booky Wook’ autobiography series. A source told the Daily Mirror newspaper: “Katy thought that Russell was going to tell all about what they got up to in the bedroom ... However, now the boot is on the other foot because Katy is being offered deals to come out and present her version of events. “She wasn’t very kind to Russell when she spoke about him after the split and with her star at such a meteoric height, publishers expect her to be a best seller.”

BELIEBING IN BETTER BEHAVIOUR JUSTIN BIEBER is reportedly seeing a therapist.The 20-year-old singer is allegedly seeing a £600-an-hour Los Angeles shrink, John Kenyon, to help control his impulsive behaviour following multiple run ins with the law - which left him facing charges of assault and drag racing - earlier this year. A source told The Daily Star newspaper: “Kenyon’s treating Justin in person, when possible, then over Skype when he’s away. Sometimes they even have more than one session a day.” The source added: “Kenyon’s so booked up he doesn’t normally take on new clients but Justin used his name to skip the three-year waiting list. “It’s too soon to tell if it’s having a

positive eﬀect , but the fact that Justin has kept it up and passed the ﬁrst batch of sessions speaks volumes. “If he hates something he’s not normally the kind of person to stick it out.” It is thought Justin was encouraged to participate in the sessions by his mother Pattie Mallette, 39, who has become increasingly worried that his erratic behaviour will be damaging to his career. The source explained: “His mum Pattie suggested he should give it a go. “She’s constantly worried he’ll do something that will ruin everything he’s worked for. And he adores his mum so he agreed to do it for her.”

KIM’S KRYING GAME KIM KARDASHIAN WEST was reduced to tears when she had to babysit her sister’s kids. The 33-year-old star agreed to look after her older sibling Kourtney’s two children, Mason, four, and Penelope, two, while also caring for her own 14-month-old daughter North - her child with husband Kanye West. Kim admits she struggled to care for all three kids and was “crying” at the end of the day when she finally got them all in bed. During an appearance on ‘The Ellen DeGeneres Show’ - which aired on September 9th - she revealed: “I just went to San Diego to give my pregnant sister a break. “I took care of my niece, nephew, and my daughter. To bathe them - all three - feed them, get them in their pyjamas and down for bed, I was literally crying!” Kim added: “It was so hard, three kids. I don’t know how my mom did it with six.” Kim’s emotional babysitting experience has made her think twice about her previous wish to have a large family. She admitted: “I’ll go for two, but then again I have so many siblings and I love it, they’re my best friends and I would love that for my kids. So I’m going to do two and see how it goes. I don’t think [I’d have] six, but maybe three or four - I go back and forth.” As well as Kim and Kourtney their mother Kris Jenner also has son Rob and daughter Khloe from her marriage to their late father Robert Kardashian and daughters Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner from her relationship with estranged husband Bruce Jenner.

Never, ever, ever... GETTING A DATE? TAYLOR SWIFT has not been on a date since she split from Harry Styles. The ‘Trouble’ singer has been involved in numerous high-profile relationships since breaking into the pop industry, including romances with Joe Jonas, John Mayer and Jake Gyllenhaal, but Swift, 24, says she’s not seen anybody since she split from Harry of One Direction. Speaking to Rolling Stone magazine, she explained: “[I] have not gone on a date. People are going to feel sorry for me when you write that. But it’s true.” Taylor says that one reason why she has con-

sciously avoided dating was because she felt that she was making too many headlines for that reason. She explained: “I’m just not comfortable providing that kind of entertainment anymore. I don’t like seeing slide shows of guys I’ve apparently dated. “I don’t like giving comedians the opportunity to make jokes about me at awards shows. I don’t like it when headlines read ‘Careful, Bro, She’ll Write a Song About You,’ because it trivializes my work.” The ‘Love Story’ hitmaker added: “And most of all, I don’t like how all these factors add up to build the pressure so high in a new relationship that it gets snuffed out before it even has a chance to start.”

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

MUSIC

R.I.P FRANKIE KNUCKLES THE PASSING of Frankie Knuckles earlier this year marked an end of an era for house music. In April, musos mourned as the unexpected death of Frankie Knuckles hit the headlines. Frankie dubbed “The godfather of house music” died at his home in Chicago aged 59 following complications to Type II diabetes. Despite his career being cut short he leaves behind a musical legacy that will have generations to come cutting shapes. The Grammy-winning DJ and producer started his career in the early 1970‘s as a disco DJ at The Warehouse in Chicago. It was his experimental style that would later become known as house, a genre which would inspire dance acts such as Daft Punk to take to the decks. Frankie’s career went from strength to strength, with chart topping tracks such as “Your Love” and “The Whistle Song”. He also began produce records for the likes of Madonna, Whitney Houston and Depeche Mode. In 2004, then Illinois state senator, Barack Obama dubbed August 25th Frankie Knuckles Day and re-named the street where the Warehouse once stood, Frankie Knuckles Way. In 2005, he was inducted into the Dance Music Hall of Fame. However three years later, he developed diabetes which would lead to having his foot amputated. But this didn’t stop Frankie, who played gigs right up until two days before his death. But what made Knuckles stand apart from the rest was that he understood how to make it happen on the dance floor, sometimes referred to as the “priest of the dancefloor”. Only time will tell who will step up to the decks next.

PARTY ANIMAL? ALWAYS OUT AND ABOUT? Did you catch up with our snappers. Check out pages 10 and 11 to see if you made the cut.

REVIEWS

ALBUM REVIEW

NEW EYES CLEAN BANDIT

2014 has been the year of Clean Bandit! After having the UK’s fastest-selling single of 2014 so far with their chart-topping anthem “Rather Be”, they also completed a hugely successful UK tour and a massively varied festival season across the UK and around the world. Their new album New Eyes has a multitude of tunes such as “Mozart’s House”, “Extraordinary”, “Come Over”, “A&E” and “Heart on Fire” and with their signature mix of classical music and garage pop they have managed to hit new heights with their album. ‘Extraordinary’ is a excellently executed mix of percussion beats, while ‘Mozart’s House’ manages to take a sample of the composer’s String Quartet No. 21 and then magically turns it into an impressive house rave within seconds and newly released single ‘Come Over’ was one of the biggest

hits of summer 2014. The album manages to layer classical music over beats and at the same time incorporates many different textures and influences across the 13-track album and their decision to collaborate with largely unknown artists had added more flare to the album, than cashing in which in turn turns the album in to a massively successful varied collection. However, even though the album is mostly successful in its approach, they do have a few tracks that closely touch on annoying. The repetitive hook of ‘Telephone Banking’ slips into annoying half way through and even the album named track ‘New Eyes’ is too long-winded.

RATING: 5/5

THE ROUND UP: To Me, Her Hips Don’t Lie SHAKIRA IS expecting another son. The ‘She Wolf’ singer announced last month she is pregnant with her second child with soccer star Gerard Piqué. Now Shakira’s mother Nidia and father William have revealed she is carrying a brother for her 19-month-old son Milan. Her parents told Hola! magazine: “We’re very happy. She’s having another baby boy - a playmate for Milan.” Although they now the sex of their next grandchild, Nidia and William do not know what Shakira and Gerard plan to call their next baby. They added: “We don’t know anything about names yet.” Shakira confirmed the happy news in a magazine interview and on her Twitter page telling her millions of followers: “Yes, we are expecting our second baby!! Thank you all for your well wishes!” Shakira, 37, has previously stated she’d like to have a huge family with Gerard, 27, with her dream being to have enough kids for her

own soccer side. She previously said: “If it weren’t because of my music projects, I would be pregnant already. I would love to have eight or nine kids

To You

WILL YOUNG has started selling his old clothes online. The ‘Jealousy’ singer has launched an online fashion website with friends, selling old items of clothing alongside a selection of new items. Despite his estimated £12.5 million fortune, the 35-year-old star has been clearing out his wardrobe to get rid of his unwanted items on the virtual retailer, My Vintage Journey. He tweeted: “My website http://myvintagejourney.com is live!!!! Hats in all colours, vintage and 2nd hand clothes and bits and pieces! More stuff to come (sic)” Fans of the singer - who won the inaugural series of the ITV singing competition ‘Pop Idol’ in 2002 - can purchase a variety of items from vintage waistcoats to Alexander McQueen high top sneakers, with several items previously being owned by the ‘Leave Right Now’ crooner. Will informed his 191,000 followers on Twitter that the most popular items are, in

fact, not his unwanted garments, but knitted beanie hats which are being sold on the site for £15 each. The website features a handwritten ‘About Us’ page which reads: “Here our team finds treasures. Treasures to wear, treasures to look at, treasures to give and/or keep for yourself! “Our aim is to focus on quality. Found clothes, accessories and little gems are our passion. We all have day to day jobs and we all come together to discover stuff we want to pass on to you.”

READY FOR THE weEKEND?

We sit down with the fabulous Frankie Bridge of The Saturdays ahead of their Greatest Hits Tour WHAT ARE THE REASONS BEHIND HAVING A GREATEST HITS TOUR NOW AND NOT AT THE END OF YOUR CAREER?

ges to layer We have just released our greatest hits album as we thought it would be good to have all our singles ame time and influenc-so far on just one album. The tour follows that as decision to all the fans should know the words to the songs ts had added and we thought it would be a really enjoyable in which in experience for us all. successful

mostly sucfew tracks petitive o annoying named track

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

WHEN YOU STARTED YOUR JOURNEY IN THE MUSIC WORLD DID YOU THINK YOU WOULD BE DOING SOMETHING LIKE THIS SEVEN YEARS DOWN THE LINE?

No, definitely not. I don’t think we ever thought we would have that many singles and definitely not enough to make a greatest hits album so it is a great achievement for us as a group.

WAS IT HARD TO PICK THE TRACKS THAT MADE UP YOUR GREATEST HITS ALBUM? No it wasn’t hard at all as this tour and album were planned at the right time so we could fit all our singles on so we didn’t have to pick and choose. There are also three new songs on there to provide a little treat to the fans.

WHAT HAVE BEEN YOUR FAVOURITE MOMENTS OF YOUR CAREER TO DATE? Getting to perform at Wembley was a big moment for all of us as we all grew up in London so that was a special moment. On top of that, getting to do the Comic Relief single was a great achievement for us because so many massive artists have done it before us.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK AND CHANGE ANYTHING FROM OVER YOUR CAREER WHAT WOULD IT BE? We have had some awful outfits! When you look back and think ‘what was I thinking’ with some of the clothes we wore but I guess it is all part of growing up and it gives everyone else a chance for a little laugh.

CAN YOU PUT INTO WORDS WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE COME THIS FAR AND TO HAVE SOLD OVER FIVE MILLION RECORDS AND HAD FOUR TOP TEN ALBUMS? No, not really! We have surpassed anything we could ever have managed to achieve and it is weird looking back and seeing how much has changed over seven years. We have achieved so much, when it’s actually happening you don’t realise what you are doing. With the Greatest Hits album coming out we have been able to look back and really take in what we have done.

WE KNOW THIS ISN’T THE END FOR THE SATURDAYS, BUT IF YOU COULD LOOK FURTHER AHEAD WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL BE THE FINISHING GOAL FOR THE GROUP? We want to keep going as long as possible especially whilst we are still enjoying it which we are at the moment. Everyone still gets on really well and we have still managed to get to do everything as a band as well as individually. There is no real end in sight at the moment.

WHICH CITIES DO YOU LOVE PLAYING THE MOST? We have found the further North you go the louder everyone gets and that is always really fun. The good thing about going on tour is you never really know what you are going to get. We are doing the same show every night but it does change as the crowds are different and are up for it in different ways.

WHEN YOU BEGAN YOUR MUSIC CAREERS DID YOU DO ANY UNIVERSITY GIGS? We did tons of University gigs all the time when we were starting out. They were always really good as they all came throughout Fresher weeks which were a good laugh as everyone was drunk and really enjoying themselves.

WHO WOULD BE THE DREAM BAND/ARTIST TO COLLABORATE WITH? It would have been wicked to do something with the Spice Girls back in the day just because as girls growing up they were who we idolised.

ANY PLANS TO RETURN TO THE UNITED STATES AFTER ACHIEVING WHAT YOU DID WHEN YOU WERE OVER THERE LAST YEAR? There are no current plans to return there anytime soon due to a number of reasons. We have three children, husbands and long term boyfriends throughout the group and we are real home girls as well. We really like being in England, we might go back to the US because we enjoyed every minute of it whilst we were over there, but we plan on spending more time here now.

WHAT’S THE FUNNIEST STORY YOU HAVE FROM YOUR TIME TOURING THE WORLD? Me and Rochelle dressed up as a horse once and went and mingled in the audience before our show started one night. We took photos with fans which was a good laugh for us as none of them realised it was us two in the costume.

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

TECHNOLOGIC PHIL HAMILTON

TECHNOLOGY EDITOR

GADGETS This month: PHONES WE ALL KNOW Apple are a bunch of B******ds when it comes to putting out iPhone upgrades every five minutes to iScrew our bank accounts. We’re now on iPhone model 246S, and despite a battery life that can only be described as S***, Apple have been the world champion of smartphones for years... But since Steve Jobs popped off to tech heaven a lot of other contenders have sprung up ready take the iPhone’s title. So who could become the new champ? Phil ‘The Hammer’ Hamilton is stepping in the ring to bash about the

best of the rest to see which can batter Apple. Maybe it’s time for us all to grow the balls to leave iPhones behind. Beyond the upgrades you feel forced to keep up with, don’t go into an Apple store if you want to keep cash in your account. Their sales reps wandering around holding little handsets will have you owing £2,000 before you know it. Here’s the other choices to give Tim Cook a boot in the stones. And if you don’t know who he is, look it up. On your iPhone.

PHONES & STUFF

GAMES

MOBILES

COMPUTERS

TABLETS

APPS

HTC ONE (M8)

Available from htc.com / RRP: £549.99 YES, IT’S PRICEY, but this is the handset that would lure me into ditching the iPhone. Like a top of the range of sports car it looks stunning, and what’s under the hood is just as impressive. I love the curved design of the aluminium body and the five-inch, full HD 1080x1920 pixel screen is perfect for watching films, TV and surfing the web. Its in-built Blink Feed news channel is brilliantly executed, pooling the best news from all over the world and web. You can also add any RSS feed you want and any social media posts. When you get into this feature you’ll find it hard to stay away. Battery life is very impressive for a phone that does so much and although the camera is only 4 megapixels the HTC One’s Duo Camera system (basically it has a depth sensor for clarity) means you can take amazing photos. And with the Dimension Plus feature you can make your images 3D. And in case you’ve forgotten, it still makes – and receives – phonecalls. TOP-RATED

EE KESTREL

Available from ee.co.uk / RRP: £99

SAMSUNG GALAXY K ZOOM Available from mobiles.co.uk / RRP: £399.95

AT FIRST this feels like a camera that thinks it’s a phone. It’s bulky in the hand due to the fact it has an optical lens that extends to 24mm. But what a camera – 10xoptical zoom with 20.7 megapixels BSI CMOS sensor. It really gives the best digital cameras on the market a run for their money. Let’s be honest, everyone’s taking pics and bloody selfies on phones anyway, so who carries a camera round with them? The rest of the handset is still very impressive – 4G, 1280x720 screen (almost full HD, although occasionally it can seem a bit fuzzy) with Android installed. Not as good as its stable mate the Galaxy S5 but still a very decent bit of kit. RATING

YOU WANT A SMARTPHONE but don’t fancy shelling out the best part of £500? Well, with the EE Kestrel you don’t have to. At just £99 it’s the cheapest smartphone on the market and still comes with 4G. Of course it doesn’t have all the bells and whistles and processing power of its more expensive and well-known rivals but, honestly, for this price, who cares? It’s fast to browse the web (you can stream Netflix very nicely) because of EE’s unique double-speed 4G network, the battery seems to last forever, it’s Android-loaded, the 5 megapixel camera has an LED flash and user-friendly camera app that works better in daylight than at night (but then maybe you shouldn’t be pulling out your phone every five minutes in the pub to take pics of yourself having a great time instead of drinking. You twats.) It doesn’t have a true HD screen and blahblahblah. I’m getting sick of listing all this bullshit for things that were invented to send texts and take calls. But basically, I like this no-nonsense smartphone. If I was being whimsical I’d say it’s the Ronseal of the market. It does what it says on the tin. It isn’t a rip-off. And its battery – unlike the Apple iCuntS – lasts longer than the length of two PornHub clips. RATING

IF YOU’RE IN have been on all over this the heart firs Available from various retailers most excitin RRP: £229.99 It includes THIS MIDDLE-MARKET SMART- creates some PHONE is just a bit, well, meh. experience n The design is not particularly it’s the dogs beautiful, its 720-resolution I’m sure m screen just doesn’t appear that iar with the H clear on the Archos’ five-inch Xbox 360 mu screen, left, and the 8-megapixel the develope camera is, to be blunt, turd. who are resp But 4G works well, it has 8GB Yes, once of storage space, it’s pre-loaded some of the with Android Jelly Bean, has 1GB become appa of RAM and the battery lasts for way grenade ages as long as you don’t spend to the Maste all day gaming or streaming porn. Destiny is To be blunt this handset is like after a catacl the chubby girl with the mousey of Earth and brown hair dancing in the night- of the last ci club 30 minutes before it shuts... As well as momentarily tempting but you and maim on can definitely do better. ancient ruin And you’ll regret it if you take galactic gang her home. The story quest to recl Golden Age i RATING Halo veter really sensat Spartan to su to what you c Well, Bung ter-customis There is a on a characte Those of y house with s will be able t tomising aw The way yo you so wish y online comm will be packe As well as special ment which are a r there is virtu

ARCHOS 50 HELIUM 4G

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

TRANSFORMERS

TOASTIE MAKERS

HEADPHONES

SPEAKERS

GAMES

LAPTOPS

NIGHT VISION GOGGLES

DRONES

VUVUZELAS

PREVIEW: WWE 2K15

‘It’s boring and irritating when you see players flying through the air like armour-clad birds from the slow-motion bits of The Matrix’

Last year 2K Sports acquired the much sought-after WWE license and a year on from the excellent WWE 2K14 we are just a couple of months away from their next matt-slamming effort. Although WWE ‘Superman’ John Cena is the cover star, the most exciting piece of news we’ve had from 2K is that wrestling legend Sting (pity his name is stained by that tantric numpt) is to be a playable character for the first time ever in a WWE game – if you pre-order.For those of you not aware why this is exciting I’ll tell you why. Sting is considered one the greatest wrestlers of all time but has never wrestled for the biggest wrestling company, instead cementing his legacy in the NWA (National Wrestling Alliance – I hate typing out the full meanings of acronyms, FFS, but I will so noone can whinge they

REVIEW OF THE MONTH

don’t understand these wrestling terms – even though you should), WCW (World Championship Wrestling and the company that nearly put WWE – World Wrestling Entertainment – out of business in the mid to late ’90s) and most recently TNA (Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling.) This is a BIG deal. Sting’s appearance is believed to be part of the rumoured Attitude-era mode which will allow players to relive the greatest matches from the Monday Night Wars in the ’90s from both WWE and WCW. Other game types expected to be included are an updated Universe mode which allows you to book your own WWE shows and pay-per-view extravaganzas. There’s also said to a revamped WrestleMania mode where you recreate the biggest matches in the show’s history. Other confirmed playable characters include current super-stars such as Bray Wyatt, Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan as well as a host of legends such as Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Honky Tonk Man and Sycho Sid Eudy. I personally can’t wait for this game and got so excited writing this I decided to don Lycra pants and bodyslam all of my kids on the floor. As The Hulkster would say, “Whatcha gonna do when WWE2K15 runs wild on you!” Drink a long, tall glass of shut up juice and get playing. OUT: OCTOBER 31 ON PLAYSTATION 4, PLAYSTATION 3, XBOX ONE, XBOX 360 AND PC.

DESTINY: BETA IF YOU’RE INTO YOUR GAMES then Destiny will have been on your radar for some time. ‘ve been all over this heart-pumping, adrenaline shot in the heart first-person shooter – arguably the most exciting release of the year. It includes all the best tricks of the genre but creates something unique to provide a gaming experience not easily forgotten. To put it simply it’s the dogs’ bollocks. I’m sure most of you reading this will be familiar with the Halo games that made the Xbox and Xbox 360 must-have consoles, and it is Bungie, the developer behind that blockbuster series, who are responsible for Destiny. Yes, once you get a few hours into playing some of the similarities between the two titles become apparent but these are a good thing – the way grenades are wielded owe a special thank you to the Master Chief. Destiny is set in our solar system in the future after a cataclysmic event has changed the course of Earth and you play as one of the “Guardians” of the last city on the battered planet. As well as being able to shoot, kill and maim on Earth you can also explore the ancient ruins of our solar system – grab a gun you galactic gangster – we’re shooting up Venus. The story mode really is engrossing and your quest to reclaim what was lost in mankind’s Golden Age is as compelling as any sci-fi movie. Halo veterans will know the online mode was really sensational. You could customise your Spartan to suit your wishes but there were limits to what you could change. Well, Bungie has brought us a limitless character-customisation game here. There is a limit to what I have time to change on a character (or be bothered to.) Those of you yet to get hitched or fill your house with screaming snot-spewing mini-me’s will be able to spend your ample free time customising away in the style of role-playing games. The way you can play online has changed too. If you so wish you can play the story mode with the online community – which if you’re unlucky will be packed with loads of whiny Americans. As well as the Solo or Co-operative story (and special mention for the cinematic sequences which are a revolution in game development as there is virtually no loss of graphics from game-

play mode), other online game modes include Strike, Crucible and Tower. Tower is less of a mode but more of an area where you can hang out with other players to forge alliances, create special forces and upgrade guns and items. What is very appealing about the game is that it is very easy to jump into and start playing and it soon draws you into the beautifully rendered world. It also isn’t the type of game where you will die

over and over again which for me just becomes fucking annoying. I really have just one minor gripe with Destiny and that is how your character jumps (as I said – minor. But I’m still going to gripe about it.) I know it’s dull as shit to quibble about ingame physics but your Guardian just jumps too bloody high and takes too long to land. It’s boring and irritating when you see players flying through the air like armour-clad birds from the slow-motion bits of The Matrix. Regardless of my jumping angst this is a musthave title. And the world agrees. Almost 5 million people played the PlayStation 4 and PlayStation 3 Betas – so, and I never thought I’d say this, go and join everyone else. They’re right on this one.

RATING: 5/5 (TESTED ON PS4 BETA) AVAILABLE FROM SEPTEMBER 9 ON PLAYSTATION 4, PLAYSTATION 3, XBOX ONE AND XBOX 360.

PREVIEW: PROJECT SPARK MICROSOFT’S GAME-CHANGING ‘GAME MAKER’ title will hit shelves in October and I’ve been getting to grips with the good and the bad aspects of the title. The premise of Project Spark is that you create 3-D worlds in which you are boundless in what you want to create. Basically you can make the game you dreamed to make, but never had the power to do so. In Project Spark you have a terrain which you can sculpt and mould into a complex world. You can add your choice of foliage and animals, and make an environment like no other. Want to get Robin Hood to fight a giant overlord of Planet Piñata? Then you’re in luck. Just pop it in there. It’s like playing a god. You have logic too. A game would not be fun if

it had no va-va-voom. That’s why things need to have “scripts”. Project Spark is very close to real-life game development where you use ‘what if statements’ and so many more complexities I was never arsed to do a computer science degree to learn. Project Spark is complex in scripting logic which is so simple to learn it really does set up the average gamer up for programming in the future. Then comes the bad bit... Project Spark is too similar to the original IP of this genre of play, create, share, Little Big Planet which is due for another sequel this year. Project Spark is enthusiastic in its premise and of course it’s aimed more at teens and adults, but it’s going to be in the shadow of Little Big Planet unless the users get to grips with all the options Spark allows.

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THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

CURRENT

» CONTINUED FROM FRONT COVER

DON’T THROW AWAY YOUR LIFE...

THE THREE BEST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE

The story all starts with a night out in Manchester. Walking home with friends, he spots a roadside bin with its front hatch open, a very rare sight and one that he could not refuse taking advantage of. Now would be a good time to add that memorable stories don’t come without friends there to witness them or in this case be the reason behind the incident. As Robin climbed inside the open hatch his housemates, who were slightly tipsy, kicked the door closed as a joke. Now the victim might well say he would have done the same to them if they were in that position but unfortunately for Robin the door to the bin automatically locked. The rescue mission was now on.

the judgement. Of course, there are certain drawbacks to having that many sexual partners. Indeed, if you’re plagued by an itchy, burning sensation, then you might be studying in Nottingham, where gonorrhoea’s truly gone viral, or Birmingham, which tops our metaphorical league table for chlamydia in 18-25s. Of course, the real question is how much it costs to get a drink. There are lots of figures floating around, but the same HSBC report that declared Leicester the cheapest university in the country also declared that Leeds was the cheapest place to drink, with five pints of beer or two bottles of wine costing only £12. But who’re the biggest drinkers? It’s not a cheap city, by any means, but that honor goes to Bath. According to the most recent University Drinking League Table by Student Beans, Bath Spa students drink a liver-melting 26.3 units of alcohol a week on average. For reference, the Department of Health recommends that men drink no more than 21 units a week, and women no more than 14. Newcastle has been crowned as one of the UK’s leading tourist attractions. Sure, it’s a beautiful city - but time and time again, what people return for is the city’s nightlife. In fact, Tripadvisor users have voted Newcastle as the seventh best place for nights out in the world.

“We kicked the door closed and it stuck! We’ve all tried pulling the door at the same and we’ve tried tipping it,” Robin’s friend Jack Tame can be heard saying on the video. With their efforts coming up short, they didn’t know what else to do other than call the fire brigade. Cat’s stuck in trees is the usual joke task that fire fighters are linked with but students stuck in bins takes that to a whole new level. With his friends laughing on and Robin shaking hands with people outside of the bin, the firemen arrived. Like any good rescue service they knew exactly what was needed for the job straight away. Producing a little tool from their truck, they opened the bin with ease much to the delight of Robin. Finally able to stand up again, Robin’s first act was to give his rescuers a big hug to say thanks for their efforts. And now his ordeal has realised instant fame as his video has hit the internet ensuring his embarrassing story will be remembered by more than just a select few friends. Unfortunately for Robin (and possibly for the image of students across the land), that isn’t the only story of a student getting stuck in an object in recent time. And this American student’s ordeal saw him stuck in something much stranger than a bin on the side of a street. Tubingen, Germany was the setting for another firefighter rescue, 22 of them required to remove a student from 32-ton stone vagina. Yes you read that right as outside Tubingen University’s institute for microbiology and virology stands a sculpture that artist Fernando de la Jara reveals is meant to signify ‘the gateway to the world’. However, one student decided it would be a good idea (for whatever reason but I hope it was a dare) to jump inside the artwork, only to get himself stuck. A few adjustments and not long later, the student was free, accompanied by a story he won’t want to be telling his family anytime soon. University is a time for embarrassing stories to take place that you hope will never see the light of day. But at least we can rest safely in the knowledge that no matter what we do in our time away from home, there are always people out there that go the extra mile to make sure our embarrassing moments don’t seem as bad.

...but at least he wasn’t this guy...

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

Fashion ESSENTIALS

SASKIA QUIRKE

FASHION EDITOR

Women WELL HEELED

These booties wont keep your toes warm but they will look good.

GET LIPPY

BOOTS, £55, MISS SELFRIDGE

Perfect for puckering up, this balm leave lips super soft and tastes good too

LIP BALM, £8, OLIVER BONAS

ZIP IT

Tick off two of this season’s biggest trends, leather and texture, with this biker

BIKER JACKET, £85, H! BY HENRY HOLLAND AT DEBENHAMS

JUST PEACHY This simple boxy cut is classic with a colourful twist

COAT, £44.99 NEW LOOK

PRINTS CHARMING

print and Take one pretty t collar. add a statemen ve? The What do you ha ent shift. tem sta ultimate

DRESS, £10, PRIMARK

FLOWER POWER Because every lip gloss and mascara deserves a fashionable home

MAKE-UP BAG, £12, CATH KIDSON

ARM CANDY

This chic bargain bag looks like it should costs three times its price tag

GREY BAG, £29, ACCESSORIZE

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CLUTCH CONTROL

This popping pink bag adds the perfect punch to any LBD

BAG, £35, MISS SELFRIDGE

The sweatshirt gets modern makeov er with this sequin numb er

SWEATSHIRT, £6 9, HOUSE OF FRAS ER

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, £50 SHOES OP H S P O T

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

TOP TIP : WOMEN

TOP TIP : MEN

FLORAL FANCY

COOL KICKS

Statement necklace that will make even the most simple tee wow

This new navy, slate, silver and neon orange colourway makes these these perfect autumn trainer.

NECKLACE, £29, ACCESSORIZE

TRAINERS, £105, NIKE

Half mac, half parka, we love this simple but stylish coat.

COAT, £65, NEXT

MEN

ESSENTIALS

WINTER WARMER

GLOSS FINISH

Paint your lips pink with a slick of this from Stila and it will stay all day

LIP GLOSS, £18, STILA

LEATHER LUXE

Cos accessories for guys make the perfect gift. This bracelet is one for the birthday list

BRACELET, £10, COS

THE WEEKENDER BUTTON UP

From paisley to polka dot to mountain prints, Topman has put its stamp on this autumn’s shirts.

SHIRT, £45, NEW LOOK

This handsome holdall means you’ll arrive at any destination in style

HOLDALL, £50, F&F AT TESCO

POP A CAP ON IT MONOCHROME MUST-HAVE Houndstooth, quilted, black and white - all in one bomber jacket. What’s not to love?

JACKET, £65.99, ZARA

BLUE HUE CHECK MATE

Snap up this tee for the easiest way to work the check trend.

This bright blue cable knit jumper is a real steal.

THE LITTLE YELLOW BOOK

PUFFER UP

Quilted gillets and coats are back. Welcome back the Nineties in this Zara number

oys e to b e h t f ro shoe

CAP, £8.99, NEW LOOK

JUMPER, £35 BURTON

T-SHIRT, £18, NEXT

S SHOE

This marble effect snapback is finished off with a cool Airtex style design

Hungover? In desperate need of carbs? This book will help you whip up the perfect hangover cure.

BOOK, £8, BURTON

GILLET, £49.99, ZARA

MAN BAG

CONTRAST COLLAR

SKATER SHOES

DENIM JACKET, BOOHOO

SHOES, £59, COS

For an on trend denim jacket opt for a sheepskin effect collar

Simple slip-ons are still going strong this season. Comfy and stylish.

Keep it understated with this grey backpack with contrast straps. Less is more.

BACKPACK, £25, BURTON

ADVICE

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

NO-NONSENSE ADVICE THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE

Second Year: We’re not Freshers Anymore Job Hunting For Final Year

Students DANIEL ROBBINS

Coming to the end of your ﬁnal year? Worrying about how to put yourself in the best possible position to walk out into a job? Then fear no more as we have compiled a list of some of the best tips to get onto the job ladder, but with a twist. Anyone can tell you to get experience, to be punctual or to have your CV in order. But what can you do to set yourself apart from the rest? Look no further than these three handy tips below!

1 AS YOUR UNIVERSITY OPENS its floodgates to another wave of Freshers that are young, dumb and full of the joys of spring, second year students prepare to face a different reality. This year actually counts towards your degree so it’s time to shake off your bad first year habits if you want a degree classification that doesn’t share its name with a South African bishop. Firstly, you actually have to attend lectures this year. We’ve all been guilty of skipping lectures after telling ourselves “it’s only one lecture – I’ll catch up” although we never do! You can be almost certain your lecturer will be wearing those beige trousers but you can’t be certain of what important information he is going to share with you so force yourself out of bed and go!

Secondly, writing that 4000 word essay the night before the deadline on a heart-attack inducing concoction of Red Bull and ProPlus is no longer going to cut it. You need to plan and organise your coursework more so than your nights out this year. Thirdly, you need to find out where the library is. Note – it’s not in the Student Union’s bar. It’s alright to enjoy your life (you’re not a third year quite yet!) but make sure you’re actually doing the reading and studying as you’ll find it difficult to blag your way through second year. Finally, you must of course develop a hatred of Freshers as they waltz around uni without a care in the world!

CLUB DRUG CLINIC LAURA RAPHAELS

Taking drugs is nothing GBL is used to clean car wheel

trims, however if ingested it can give a high similar to alcohol and increase sex drive. It is a colourless and tasteless liquid that can be swallowed or injected. Withdrawal symptoms can last up to 15 days after the last dose, and it is easy to OD on GBL as there is not much difference in the amount required to get high or slip into a coma.

MEPHEDRONE, branded

meow meow by the media, is a stimulant that can give a similar high to amphetamines such as speed and ecstasy. It is a white powder that can be swallowed, injected or snorted and the effects last for about an hour. When the drug first emerged on the internet dealers marketed it as “plant food” or “bath salts” to get around the law, however it was made illegal in 2010. Some users refer to it as meph, but should not be confused with meth.

NITROUS OXIDE, more

commonly known as laughing gas, can give a relaxed and euphoric feeling when inhaled. It is not illegal and users have taken to openly inhaling the gas using balloons, however local authorities have started to seize canisters from users distributing or taking the drug in public places. There is a concern users believe it is a safe legal high, without acknowledging that it can cause oxygen deprivation resulting in loss of blood pressure, fainting and heart attacks.

BE MEMORABLE If you get the chance to do work experience in your respective ﬁeld don’t just turn up and just get by every day. Do something memorable! Pitch ideas to your boss and leave them at the end of a week remembering you by something out of the ordinary that you did for them. Add your quirky experiences where you have shown leadership or another crucial quality to your CV as well to make your piece of paper stand out from the rest.

BUILD CONTACTS A rather straight forward one but an important factor nonetheless. A follow on from the point above, if you make yourself memorable more people will take notice of you in the work place. Don’t be a shrinking violet, shake as many hands, get as many names and contacts as humanly possible in a week, you never know when they could come in handy.

BE PERSISTENT Continuing on from building contacts, you need to keep in touch with them in numerous ways. Drop them an email every couple of weeks, drop into the oﬃce where they work or give them a call. It may seem like you are being annoying but employers like someone who is proactive and all these points show you are just that.

First Class Honours Closer Than You Think DANIEL ROBBINS

PICTURE CREDIT: SHUTTERSTOCK

First Class Honours! What an achievement that can be after three or four years of hard work. But that is just what is needed; hard work. It isn’t going to come easy. Luckily for you there are some tips to follow to make the achievement more manageable. The first point you need to consider is that you can’t just wait until the last year to work hard as you won’t achieve what you are hoping for. That’s not to say you have to live in the library and not go out during every year at University, you just need to strike the right balance. You have to break down your hard work over your entire course. If you manage good grades in year one, work will become easier in the years to follow. It is simple really. Planning for your final grade come graduation begins in the first year. Getting into good habits early on is a must so whatever the exam, class test or coursework you do, aim to get the best grade you can! The feedback you get from your work, alongside the grades, are brilliant indicators early on as to where you are in University based tests. From there you have two or three years to improve and gradually work your way up to getting firsts on mock tests. So there you have it, preparation is key and if you get in to good habits early on, First Class Honours could be closer than you think!

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THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

RELATIONSHIPS:

Are you about to go all the way? LAURA RAPHAEL

PICTURE CREDIT SHUTTERSTOCK

There are two types of long distance relationships at university. One that makes university ever better and one that turns you into Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. Suddenly you are a paranoid wreck, stalking their social media into the small hours and wondering just who is that girl in all your boyfriend’s pictures. And don’t worry the boys are just as possessive, even though they wouldn’t readily admit it. If you are currently faced with the long distance dilemma we have three relationship saving tips:

Communication:

You are going to be meeting a whole new group of people, getting to know a whole new city and perhaps toasting this with a drink or two. Not to rades, are rsity based mention the information overload from lectures. e and gradu- But don’t get too caught up in your new life that you forget to keep in touch with your other half. in to good you think!

Hanging out:

This is especially important if they are not going to university, they will start to feel that they are not part of your life and once that thought process begins, the drifting apart starts. Don’t forget to have a laugh, relationships are fun not a chore. Make them a part of your new routine, plan weekends together just don’t squander your train fare in the SU beforehand.

Work at it:

Over the next three years you and your other half are going to change. You can grow together but this is something you need to work on and more importantly never give up on.

Don’t Put the

STD in STuD PAIGE WILLIAMS

PICTURE CREDIT: SHUTTERSTOCK

Uni is a time for having fun but just make sure it’s good, clean fun. Remember you came to uni to get a degree, not an STD. SEX IS CLEANER WITH A PACKAGED WIENER. If you’re not 100 per cent certain about where your sexual partner has been then it’s always best to be on the safe side. Sex with a condom/femidom might not feel as good as skin-on-skin but catching chlamydia feels a lot worse. Also, DO NOT open them with your teeth. You may have seen it in a ﬁlm and you may think that it’s sexy (it’s not), but doing this could cause you to break or tear the latex so just open it with your hands like a civilised human being instead of a sex-crazed animal. ORAL SEX ISN’T SAFE SEX. STD’s can still be transmitted through oral sex but the risk is reduced by the use of a condom or dental dam. You might be put oﬀ as this can make the act less enjoyable but nobody will want to kiss you after if you’ve got gonorrhoea on your face. If you still aren’t sold then google facial herpes - it’s not good. CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF. Not all STDs have visible symptoms so don’t just assume you’re STD-free because nothing’s oozing or hurting. If you do have unprotected sex, be sure to visit your local sexual health clinic for a screening. It’s easy, quick, and free and they’ve seen it all before.

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

MY MONEY

IMPARTIAL, EXPERT ADVICE

Peter Jones

How to budget your money

FROM STUDENT TO MENTOR

LAURA RAPHAEL

DANIEL ROBBINS

Your student loan is probably not only the biggest amount of money you have ever seen but someone has just given it to you. Not to mention, as part of your student bank account you are now the proud owner of an overdra and possibly even a credit card. First of all, don’t get too excited. You are going to have to pay it all back, with interest. But you can make that money go a long way and there are money saving apps, free ones at that.

mySuperList

You’ll probably only appreciate this when you are eating pasta everyday, but to save you to getting to that point, mySuperList enables you not only to draw up a shopping list, but it will tell you how much you should expect to fork out for it and which is the cheapest supermarket to go to.

Vouchercloud

Come deadline day you’ll want to treat yourself and here is how to do it on the cheap. Vouchercloud uses GPS technology to root out all the deals and discounts going in your area. All you have to do is select the ones you like the look off and download them straight to your phone.

OnTrees

You know it has got bad when instead of checking your bank balance you simply pray that the transaction goes through. Don’t. Set up a budget and OnTrees will then keep tabs on all your incomings and outgoings so you can see how closely you are sticking to it.

Coupon Queen Saves Thousands of Pounds Do you like to think of yourself as a bit of a bargain hunter? A super scrimper, perhaps? Well, Maddy Tooke from Essex is here to put you to shame. The 26-year-old student has managed to save over a whopping £22,000 a year by using coupons! Maddy Tooke first starting using coupons when she left her £22,000-a-year job in the army and began to worry about how her and her husband would survive on just one wage. The 26-year-old super saver said: “When I gave up my job to study sports I was really worried about giving up the lifestyle my husband and I had become used to. We didn’t live the life of luxury but we enjoyed meals out, liked to decorate the house and I enjoyed shopping. But when I started looking into ways to save money I couldn’t believe how easy it was. Now I can’t believe I ever paid full price for anything.” Some of Maddy’s greatest savings include booking an all-inclusive sevennight holiday to Ibiza for just over £300, decorating her bathroom for £8.85 and saving £120 a week on food! The ex-medic said she started by looking at her food bill which came to

PAIGE WILLIAMS

around £150 a week: “I was shocked and realised it was down to us not planning meals and further wasting money by buying what we fancied rather than what was on offer. I started by buying food in multibuys and freezing it.” “I also googled voucher codes for products and supermarkets and printed them to use at the checkout. By doing this I got our food bill down to £30 a week.” Maddy also signed up to a variety of different online groups and recommends Extreme Couponing. “Another one is Ten Ways to Have More Money as a Student without Working. People give each other lots of advice on brands which have good savings that month or websites with the best vouchers — it’s amazing how much is out there”. It looks like even the tightest of us could learn a trick or two from Maddy! Extreme Couponing here I come!

STUDENT

DEALS DANIEL ROBBINS

Freshers, you will soon learn that an NUS card is your best friend (if you don’t already know). If you haven’t got one then it is a must over the ﬁrst couple of weeks and here are three reasons why.

If those ﬁrst few weeks are too stressful for you, why not go on a holiday? Even better why not get £65 off already discounted holidays? Well by using your NUS card at Student Universe you can do just that and travel to places such as Paris, New York or Sydney. What could be better?

If you are looking for something closer to home, who doesn’t love money off food, and pizza in particular? Well with your card you can get a 40% discount off your food and drink at Pizza Hut all day Monday and Tuesday.

Finally, a little more boring than the other two but you have to stock up on the essentials. That’s why the 12.5% discount you get at Rymans stationery will be vital for all students, whether it be for note cards or anything else, this is one that will come in handy all the time.

Dragon’s Den is an iconic show. Whether you know all the Dragons oﬀ by heart or just watch the show thinking of crazy ideas you could pitch, it is a programme that most would know a lot about. However, the stories of the people sat in the chairs opposite are often not as well known. Take Peter Jones for example. His journey is definitely one worth following. An avid tennis player, he would help a coach at his local school teach tennis whilst he was on his summer breaks. After four years, he decided it was his time to turn coach, opening his own academy at the age of 16 showing his first move from student to mentor. Like any businessman he has had his lows, but where he is now is certainly not one of them. Employing more than 1,000 people and generating sales of more than £250 million in the companies he has interest in, the Dragon’s Den show is just the start of the array of talents Jones has. When he isn’t focusing on his business ventures, he is ensuring that a further line of entrepreneurs follow him into the field. With Peter Jones Enterprise Academy’s in Amsterdam and Manchester, Jones is backing up his myth that entrepreneurs are born and not made. The example of his success story is no better example and don’t expect him to be falling away at any point soon.

Dragon’s Den show is just the start of the array of talents Jones has.

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

YOUR QUESTIONS: ANSWERED How To Spend Less on a Night Out

PAIGE WILLIAMS

NIGHTS OUT are expensive but they also come with the territory of being a university student so The University Paper has compiled a list of things you can do to save a few more pounds of your student loan. Drink at home before you go to the club. You can get a 70cl bottle of vodka for a tenner at Tesco. Yes, it might look and taste a bit like paint stripper, but student nights out aren’t about fancy drinks and hor d’oeuvres – they’re about getting drunk enough to tolerate the grungy dive that you plan on visiting later in the night. Don’t buy food on the way home. I know you usually crave carbs on your walk home, but food joints are risky places if you’re trying to save money. You go in with the intention to buy chips for a couple of quid and end up with a seven pound doner kebab which is bigger than your own head. You’re better off raiding the supermarket before you go out so you can commit a much cheaper carbocide when you return home. And you don’t have to sit on a cold bench trying to avoid eye contact with the homeless and shooing seagulls as you eat (or maybe you do, I don’t know how unlucky you were with your accommodation). Wear the same outfit you wore last time. Honestly, it’s fine. You’re going to get booze/food/sick (not necessarily your own or in that order) on it anyway, so why shell out for a nice new outfit that will just get ruined? The student population is very forgiving and if that hipster kid in your seminar can wear the same too-big jumper every week then you can go out wearing that top again (just make sure you wash it first).

Top Student Bank Account Options DANIEL ROBBINS

PICTURE CREDIT: SHUTTERSTOCK

ONE OF THE HOT topics before you join a University is what bank account to go with. Rather than looking at the freebies a bank might offer, the account with the largest interest free overdraft is where you should first look. Overdrafts are part and parcel of being a student and should be the main factor when you are choosing a bank. So which is the best bank to choose?

» SANTANDER - Best known for their adverts involved sports stars such as Jenson Button, Jessica Ennis and Rory McIl-

roy, Santander offer one of the best value student accounts. With a 0% overdraft of up to £1,500 and an added incentive of a four year 16-25 railcard, they are one of the first you should be looking at.

» HSBC - One of the highest overdrafts advertised plus some tasty incentives, HSBC is next in the pecking order. With a 0% overdraft of up to £3,000 dependent on credit score and a free £60 Amazon voucher upon sign up, they run Santander a close second in terms of value. They also don’t allow you spend beyond

your arranged overdraft, the only student account that does this which means you don’t risk huge overdrawn charges. Bonus!

» THE CO-OPERATIVE - Despite having their well aired problems, the Co-Operative bank do offer a good student account. They have up to a £2,000 interest free overdraft. not as high as some others, but more students have said that they get close to the full amount by the time they have finished. No freebies to talk of but remember it is all about the overdraft.

RUNNING YOUR OWN BUSINESS EASIER THAN EVER BEFORE

Getting a job straight after University is the Holy Grail for all students, but what if you could guarantee yourself employment and be your own boss at the same time? Sounds brilliant doesn’t it. Many people don’t see it as a viable option after they have finished their studies but forming your own business is easier now than ever before. A quick search in google and there are plenty of sites where students can get loans in a bid to turn business ideas launched into fully operating businesses. Take Enterprise Inc for example. Their aim is to improve the entrepreneurial skills of students who have recently graduated or are in their final year of study. To do this they offer a number of bursary options dependent on eligibility. New businesses are vital for the economy and that is why there is so much help out there for budding young entrepreneurs. Enterprise Inc offers a potential £5,000 support package for students that are willing to pitch a business idea to them. Offers don’t just stop at Enterprise either! The government has their very own website dedicated to start up loans as do companies such as HSBC, Barclays and Virgin. Surely we have all had that one idea that we have wanted to try out and if you are really serious about

New businesses are vital for the economy and that is why there is so much help out there for budding young entrepreneurs.

setting up a business help is out there, you just have to know where to look. So dust off your suit, form an idea & pitch it to a company. You never know where you could end up!

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OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

STUDENT CHEF

PICTURE:SHUTTERSTOCK

How not to poison yourself or your flatmates

Food safety might not be your top priority when you go to university but it is extremely useful to know all the rules and regulations prior to cooking either for just you or your housemate because at the end of the day you don’t want to poison your housemates. It may sound like a boring subject but it’s worth acquainting yourself with the basics. STORE FOOD CORRECTLY - Don’t store fresh and cooked meat side by side in the fridge or put fresh meat or fish where it can drip on to cooked food below. WASH THOSE HANDS! - Always wash your hands with soap thoroughly before starting to prepare food. And dry them with a hand towel rather than your tea towel that may be dirty.

DON’T PUT WARM FOOD IN THE FRIDGE - If you cook something to eat later or have food left over, cool it then refrigerate it as it could warm up the fridge thus making other food uneatable.

REHEAT FOOD THOROUGHLY - If you’re going to eat it hot always reheat it thoroughly which means bringing it to the boil and simmering it for at least a couple of minutes.

WASH UTENSILS Wash any utensils or chopping boards that you have used for preparing raw meat before using them for anything else.

PUT FOOD IN THE FRIDGE ASAP! Refrigerate fresh food as soon as you can after buying it. Don’t lug it round warm lecture rooms or leave it in the car.

USE BY DATES - Some products, such as fish or mince, go off quicker than others and should be eaten within a day of buying them. Products such as cheese or yoghurt have a sell-by date: Use it! TOP TIP IF IN DOUBT, CHUCK IT OUT.

TOP

FREEZER TO FRIDGE Don’t refreeze frozen food that has thawed.

EASY MEALS

FAJITAS

OMELETTE

FILLED JACKET POTATO

BURGERS

TOAD IN THE HOLE

With money tighter than ever before for the British student, it might not be such a bad idea for the old overdraft if you start making your own home meals an steer clear of the fast food and microwave meals. Here are 5 great ideas to get you started. They are all ludicrously easy to make, none of them require special equipment or training, and they may just save you some money!

● Chop an onion, red pepper and two chicken breasts and chop in to thin strips. ● Put together in a bowl with one teaspoon of paprika and some salt and pepper. ● Make your homemade salsa. After leaving to marinade for a few minutes, cook in a pre-heated pan for about 10 minutes. ● Warm your flour tortillas in the microwave. ● Serve with your home-made salsa, grated cheddar, sour cream and guacamole (you could even make your own homemade guacamole!)

● Mix two eggs with two tablespoons of milk ● Add some salt and pepper for flavouring. ● Heat some butter in a frying pan and add the egg mixture. ● After one minute, stir and reduce heat. ● Sprinkle your chosen ingredients (e.g. bacon, peppers,onions) onto the surface and wait for the omelette to set underneath. ● Sprinkle with cheese and then cook for two to three minutes. ● Then simply fold in half and serve.

● Wash the potato and prick with a fork. ● Rub salt evenly on the potato. ● Place in a pre-heated oven at 220C and cook for about 45 minutes until the potato skin is crisp. ● Cut open and accompany with your filling of choice e.g. Cheese, beans, coleslaw, salad, sour cream, chilli con carne, whatever you can get your hands on basically!

● Mix some minced beef (500g) in to a bowl with some salt and pepper with your hands or a spoon ● Dice a small onion and tip into a bowl alongside one egg. ● Roll the mixture into four balls and flatten to make burger-shaped patties. ● Put on a plate and cover and leave in the fridge to firm up for about 30 minutes. ● Cooking for about 15 mins Serve in a seeded bun with salad and any toppings that you desire! E.g. Cheese, bacon, the list is endless…

● Tip 115g plain flour into a mixing bowl. Add salt and pepper. ● Slowly add three eggs and 285ml milk, whisking as you go to create a smooth batter. ● Put some oil into a baking tin and place in the oven at its highest temperature. ● Add eight sausages and cook until lightly golden. ● Pour batter over the sausages & put back in the oven. Remove from the oven when the batter has risen and is golden and crisp. ● Serve with veg & onion gravy for the perfect Sunday lunch1

Now put down the Old El Paso packets and try this traditional homemade recipe. It is so easy and you can even control your spice levels by doing it home made. This recipe is for two:

Always a winner and its healthy! An omelette is quick and easy and can be tailored specifically to your tastes. Simply follow these instructions and you’re well on your way to a healthy diet:

Jacket potatoes are extremely easy but so many people manage to mess this one up. We would recommend waiting for the perfect jacket potato by cooking it in the oven...

We love burgers! Why go out and spend £12 each when you make your own gourmet burgers at home with all the trimmings and added extras. This recipe will serve four people:

Toad in the hole has to be one of our best dishes Britain has created! Get your housemates together and cook this one to feed four! The recipe below is to feed four students!

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

The Top Five Strangest Foods PAIGE WILLIAMS

PICTURE: SHUTtERSTOCK

World’s Most Expensive Food and Drink PAIGE WILLIAMS

PICTURE: SHUTtERSTOCK

Kopi Luwak, INDONESIA, £240/lbs Kopi Luwak, otherwise known as “cat poo coffee” (yes, you read that correctly) is the most expensive coffee in the world at £18 a cup. It’s made by collecting beans from the droppings of a cat-like creature called a civet. Tasty! Yet somehow I can’t see girls Instagramming their #catpoocoffee from Starbucks anytime soon.

Martini, NEW YORK, £6070 What’s the best way to wash down some of the most expensive food in the world? With a £6070 martini, of course! How do you like yours? Shaken? Stirred? How about with a diamond? The Algonquin Hotel in New York works with an inhouse jeweller to create a customisable diamond which is placed in the martini. James Bond, eat your heart out!

Strawberries Arnaud NEW ORLEANS, £2.4 MILLION Arnaud’s is a restaurant in New Orleans that ﬁrst gained notoriety for its £850,000 dessert but that dessert is now worth a jaw-dropping £2.4 million! This is because the original 4.71 carat ring that used to accompany the strawberries served in a marinade of port has been replaced by a 7.09 carat pink diamond. The co-owner of Arnaud’s commented that “needless to say, it is our worst selling dessert.”

Hot dog, NEW YORK, £1,400 A restaurant in New York, 230 Fifth, put all hot dog vans to shame when it released its £1,400 creation made out of 60-day dry-aged wagyu (Japanese cow) and topped with Vidalia onions caramelized in Dom Perignon, sauerkraut braised in Cristal, and caviar.

FUGU,

JAPAN - Fugu is Japanese for poisonous sea-devil. Only kidding, it means pufferfish, but it can be lethal if its toxic parts are not removed correctly. Only highly trained chefs are allowed to handle them and over twenty people have died in Japan after eating the fish since 2000. Seafood with a sprinkling of possible death? Sounds delicious.

PUFFIN HEART

, ICELAND Us Brits are supposed to have the heart of a lion. Well, in Iceland they apparently have hearts of puffins – and they eat them. The books of my childhood suddenly seem a lot more sinister… Fun fact: Gordon Ramsey received a number of complaints when he ate puffin heart on his show, The F Word. How heartless.

A-PING

, CAMBODIA Fried tarantula. People in Cambodia fry tarantulas and then actually eat them. They can be barbecued, grilled, fried or served on a stick. Looks like spiders have so much more versatility than just being washed down the plughole! Apparently they became popular during food shortages under the Khmer Rouge regime but seem to have stuck around. Why, Cambodia? Just - why?

YAK PENIS

, CHINA It’s also known as “Dragon in the Flame of Desire” and if that’s not a great name for a penis then I don’t know what is. Many Chinese believe it is also good for your health. Yum!

ROCKY MOUNTAIN OYSTERS,

US Testicles of a bull. In the good old US of A gnawing on some poor creature’s gonads is not just reserved for the Z-List celebrities exiled to the Amazon for entertainment purposes. The Yanks deep-fry them and they are often found at festivals. Maybe they should introduce them at Glasto. A guy wearing a bandana, playing Wonderwall and munching on a bull’s dangly bits – I can see it now.

TOP TIP -

JUST... NO.

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

MATCH THE QUOTE TO THE CELEB...

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman

I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating ﬁsh and I know that’s very popular out there

I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can

I wouldn’t run for president. I wouldn’t want to move to a smaller house

If everybody in the world dropped out of school we would have a much more intelligent society

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do

1. George Bush

4. Bono

7. Ronald Reagan

2. Arnold Schwarzenegger

5. Christina Aguilera

8. Elizabeth Hurley

3. Gwyneth Paltrow

6. Britney Spears

9. Jaden Smith

21 MARCH - 20 APRIL Your mood can seem intense early on this month with a desire to get organized and give 100% in the process. However, a lighter and brighter mood shines through as Mars powers into Sagittarius, highlighting options for adventure and travel. Later, the Libra New Moon on September the 23rd is perfect for a fresh start as far as relationships are concerned.

Taurus

21 APRIL - 21 MAY The focus on everyday interaction intensifies. The chances are there can also be positive news as you’ll be keen to resolve an ongoing issue with renewed determination. It’s time to make a few changes and clear the air. Later in the month there’s a shift towards health and wellness buoyed by the New Moon, making this an excellent time to start a new diet or exercise regime.

Gemini

22 MAY - 21 JUNE Romantic opportunities can shine through, along with a heightened awareness of your creative potential. Plus you might also find yourself in the spotlight around the time of the Full Moon on September 8th, with an opportunity to show your best face to the world. Later, as Venus glides into Libra, a fun liaison may also take on a sultrier vibe.

Cancer

22 JUNE - 23 JULY Though busy, you might enjoy some down time, with romance and pleasure options hopefully tempting you away from any chores. An existing relationship could become pleasantly passionate too. A sunnier mood showing up from midmonth is likely to entice you out of your comfort zone. Perhaps you’ll spruce up your home with a new look.

Leo

24 JULY - 23 AUGUST A positive and upbeat mood can encourage you to tackle an issue that’s been plaguing you for far too long. The first two weeks of September can see you show a determination to slice through problems and find much-needed solutions. The New Moon on the 23rd can be helpful if you’re taking a study course or want to collaborate on an important idea or project.

24 AUGUST - 23 SEPTEMBER You’re likely to be in your element for much of the month and ready to forge ahead with personal plans and goals. The Full Moon on September 8th might bring feelings out into the open regarding a relationship glitch, but if so try not to overreact. With Mercury edging into Scorpio late in the month, you can find yourself on a mission to hunt out the ‘truth’ of situations.

Libra

24 SEPTEMBER - 23 OCTOBER You may be motivated to take action regarding your financial affairs, only this time you’ll want to grapple with things once and for all. With Mars rocketing into Sagittarius on the 13th you may feel happier and more at peace with the world. Finally, the New Moon in your sign on September 23rd can help you to kick-start important goals or galvanise any existing strands.

24 OCTOBER - 22 NOVEMBER A sense of empowerment can help you power through obstacles and obtain your desired outcomes. Yet it’s not all work as social opportunities are likely to be plentiful too. Later in the month you could find yourself in a phase in which you’ll benefit from relaxing and recharging your batteries

(WE DON’T KNOW ANYONE CALLED ALICE, BUT IT SOUNDED BETTER THAN ALAN)

I prefer Facebook chat to clubbing and I’ve never been one of the “popular girls”. I’ve heard freshers is full on and I’m worried that it is going to be like a playground popularity contest all over again. I can’t wait for it to be over. Rebecca, Warwick Freshers will be one of the best weeks of your ﬁrst term, not because of beer pong or whatever else you have heard goes on… but for meeting people who have just descended on your campus from all over the world. And do you know what? They won’t know anyone either and will be just as nervous, even if they don’t show it. So don’t hide behind the glow of your computer screen, go to as much as possible, and check out the societies your Students’ Union has on oﬀer.

I’m starting university in just a couple of weeks but my loan hasn’t even come through yet. And did I mention I am going to be homeless? You see, I got accepted into university through clearing so was not able to apply for halls of residence in time and my university are saying there is nothing that can be done. Help? Homeless, London Whatever you do, don’t suﬀer in silence your Student Union are there to support you whatever happens during your time at university. You should also enquire about hardship funding for students experiencing exceptional circumstances. So take a trip to your SU to begin with. Also, easier said than done but don’t panic, there are alternatives to university halls and you can still have a great ﬁrst year. First of all check out private halls, this is student accommodation but it is not university owned. There are a number of these in London such as Urbannest and Unite however the rent is likely to be more expensive as they are not subsidised. You can also look at listings on websites such as www.studentspareroom.co.uk for rooms going in houses with other students.

George, Exeter That was quick thinking there George. I’m not saying your girl is a gossip but if she had noticed you would probably be the talk of the town. So don’t be embarrassed and ask her out on a second date, but do us all a favour and take her somewhere other than the boozer.

Virgo

Scorpio

ASK ALICE

I’m obsessed with this girl on my course. We’ve spent a lot of time together this summer and last week I ﬁnally plucked up the courage to ask her on a date. We were both down the local drinking and laughing too much, when I wet myself. I don’t know if she noticed as I pretended to spill a drink over myself to cover it up, but now I’m too embarrassed to even text her. What do I do?

HORRORSCOPES Aries

AGONY AUNT :

I’ve always thought Marilyn Monroe looked fabulous, but I’d kill myself if I was that fat”.

whenever you have the opportunity. Embrace nature where possible.

Sagittarius

23 NOVEMBER - 21 DECEMBER Pushing ahead with ambitious plans can boost your chances of success, even if you only take small steps to begin with. Little and often may ensure steady progress this month. Plus the ability to let go of hurtful past experiences can infuse you with new, vibrant energy. Finally, the feisty energies of Mars arriving on the 13th are sure to give you added pizzazz to explore new vistas.

Capricorn

22 DECEMBER - 20 JANUARY There’s likely to be a lot going on socially and this may well increase your enjoyment levels, potentially offering a chance to mix and mingle with some influential faces. However, go easy around the Full Moon on September the 8th as confusion could mar important interactions. With Venus gliding into Libra as the month draws to a close, a key relationship can help you.

Aquarius

21 JANUARY - 19 FEBRUARY Relationships in general can be at the heart of developments, as well as being fun and supportive and bringing added pleasures into your life. You can also be motivated to explore new options and expand your horizons by travelling, studying or moving in new circles. With your social life perking up, an opportunity to connect with new people and connect business and sociability is possible.

Pisces

20 FEBRUARY - 20 MARCH The Full Moon in your sign on September the 8th is likely to heighten feelings but also trigger a greater desire to discuss any issues. However, while this might be helpful with someone you trust, avoid being too honest with someone you don’t know well. Later in the month you may want to put energy into a plan that has potential but try to avoid promising more than you can deliver.

So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?

They misunderestimated me.

TR EN

Who Said What?

heart of d supportive r life. You ptions and udying or l life perking w people and sible.

ber the 8th is ger a greater while this ust, avoid n’t know to put entry to avoid

TOP 5: TR EN

TRENDING VIDEOS The One With The Friends Reunion JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE Kimmel’s late-night shenanigans regularly make for amazing YouTube hits such as “Epic Twerk Fail,” “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets,” or even “(I Wanna Channing) All Over Your Tatum”? However, this week, he staged a mini-“Friends” reunion that brought smiles to our faces and made our hearts melt. And proving that “Friends” nostalgia unites all of humanity: in just over 24 hours on YouTube, it cleared a whopping 6 million views. See the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4H2JHp5XOQ

Women hanging their bras in protest!

MENTAL AGILITY

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

Women in the Spanish town of Valladolid mayor’s rape comments prompt bra protest urging him to quit. Hundreds of protesters deck the city hall with underwear after Francisco Javier León de la Riva appeared to blame women for sex assaults.

See the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXZ2en7M890

2-year-old dominates the Ice Bucket Challenge (AND SWEARS!) A YouTube user recently shared a video that featured a two-yearold girl named Scarlett Rose Davis, from Walsall, who gives the most adorable and sincere apology after using the F word during her ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. The little one apologised for using the “naughty word” before running oﬀ to her playhouse in a cute fashion. We’d be cursing, too, if we had water dumped on us and we weren’t entirely sure what to expect! See the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAJ3xrMxoMU

Leonardo DiCaprio’s Ice Bucket Challenge HOW TO RAISE SOME MONEY & ROCK A MAN BUN! Leonardo DiCaprio was late to accept the Ice Bucket Challenge but he made up for it on Monday in a big way. Leonardo, who famously died in freezing water in the 1997 blockbuster Titanic, posted a video as he accepted the challenge. It is rumoured the actor also donated a whopping $100,000 to the ALS Association.

See the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwCgCrkdZAo

What “Wrecking Ball” sounds like on a recorder SPOILER: IT’S TERRIBLE. As students you know that there can be a lot of downtime and sometimes you just don’t know what to do with yourself when not doing university work. But one guy thought why not learn ‘Wrecking Ball’ on the recorder? The result was… interesting!

See the video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYd2dgHzcoU

DRINKING GAME OF THE MONTH: Higher or Lower

Everyone’s favourite dancing show, Strictly Come Dancing, is back on our screens so in honour of Brucie and his toupee, who both retired from the show this year (no more awkward jokes, yay!), The University Paper brings you a drinking game based around one of his greatest ever game shows – Play Your Cards Right. Good game, good game!

WHAT YOU WILL NEED: Three or more players, drink and a pack of cards. HOW TO PLAY: Deal a card to the first player. They must guess whether the next card will be higher or lower. If the guess is incorrect, the player must drink a number of fingers of their drink equal to the value of the card. So, for example, if the first card drawn is a 7 and the player guesses the next card will be higher, but the next card drawn is a 5 then the player must drink five fingers. If they are incorrect and a picture card is drawn then they have to finish their drink. If the guess is right, or if the next card is the same as the current card, they get another go. If they survive up to three cards they may choose to continue or to pass to the next player. You can spice it up by allowing each player who guesses right three times in a row to make up a new rule. e.g. you’re not allowed to cross your limbs, or you must say the opposite of what you mean. Players in violation of rules must, naturally, take a drink. *WE KNOW THAT YOU’RE SO SMART WE DON’T NEED TO REMIND YOU TO DRINK SENSIBLY RIGHT? CONSIDER YOURSELVES WARNED.

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KNOW THE INSIDE

DO YOU

T R AC K O N

CAMPUS?

IF SO THE UNIVERSITY PAPER WANTS TO HEAR FROM YOU. We are scouring the UK for student journalists, so whether you are looking for work experience or simply spending too much time in the SU, get in touch today. We are on the look out for opinion leaders and change makers who can write engaging copy. Your pieces will be printed in The University Paper which is read by thousands of students across the UK and you will get that all important byline - perfect if you are looking to build a portfolio. Not to mention that age old adage, it will look great on the CV. So if you would like to be an influential voice for the student community or just have a strong front page tell us what is going on - pitch your ideas to The University Paper, email: editor@unipaper.co.uk

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

Should you Work Part Time at Uni?

HABITS YOU

SHOULD TAKE

TO WORK

WITH YOU Getting into good working habits whilst at Uni is a good way to prepare for entering the ‘Real World’. There are lots of little things you can do whilst studying which will help you adapt and succeed at whatever career you pursue. Here are a couple…

From bar work to waitressing; volunteering roles to retail posts - the question of whether you should work part time at University is one only you can answer and needing the money (or not!) isn’t always the deciding factor. Here are our top reasons for taking on a part time role alongside your studies: YOU WANT TO BE SOCIAL Whilst University is no doubt one of the most sociable environments you’ll encounter, having a work team to count amongst your friends is a great feeling. Did someone say “after work drinks”?

YOU HAVE SPARE TIME Certain degrees require only a few hours of lecture and seminar attendance per week. If you’re keeping up with coursework but still have time to spare, why not put it to good use and take on a new job? Hours can be flexible to fit in with study schedules, or it may be the case that you’d prefer to plan your weekends around a set Friday night shift.

YOU WANT TO ENHANCE YOUR CV If you’re smart about it you can tailor your work experience to fit in with your degree. Whilst there may not be a weekend job in biomechanics, if you’re into fashion – why not take a role in a department store? If you’re learning about leisure and tourism, a travel agent’s would be a great place to gain some relevant experience and supplement your degree.

BE TIDY – Tidiness isn’t the reserve of those with too much spare time, it is an indicator of an organised mind. Reduce the clutter on your desk and you will not only have a better environment, but you will find things much easier. You wouldn’t want your future boss to think you were messy!

MAKE LISTS & PRIORITISE – Lists aren’t restricted to shopping, Christmas and things to do before you die. Start making lists – personal and work ones – then get cracking once you have prioritised the important tasks. Once complete, tick it off to feel a satisfying sense of accomplishment. Businesses use tasking software such as Basecamp and even Outlook to keep track of projects – use them now and you will find integrating them into your job much easier.

CV-Library can offer numerous part time job opportunities and further learning courses (many for free) across the UK. Register for free today and get searching to find the perfect role for you.

PROFESSIONAL INSIGHT :

How to Make Life Easier for the ‘Future You’

‘The future,’ may well be the last thing on your mind when you’ve just started university, however, it’s never too early to start thinking about how you can make life easier for the ‘future you’! For graduates, standing out from the crowd is important, and if you’ve spent the last three years adding worthwhile work experience and life skills to your repertoire, you stand a much greater chance of landing that dream job. Here are CV-Library’s top suggestions for improving your CV as you go along:

TAKE A PART TIME JOB Employers love a hard worker, and by that we don’t mean someone who never hits pause or goes out to play. If you show willing to use some of your spare time for working instead of partying, this will greatly improve your employability later on. Taking a part time role at weekends or during the times you’re not in lectures could make all that difference for your post-university job applications.

LEARN FROM YOUR MENTORS Most Universities will assign mentors to help students along with their degrees and coursework. Attend your meetings- listen to their opinions and learn what you can. Most importantly – if you can – bond with them. When you graduate and find yourself looking for a full time role, you’ll be happy to have a

go-to referee to vouch for your personality and attitude. Plus, if you’re keen to get into academia or their field of expertise; their insights and experience could prove invaluable.

MAKE THE MOST OF THE OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE TO YOU Hiring managers love seeing evidence of someone who is willing to put their all into making the most of the opportunities available to them. Whether you volunteer as a student brand ambassador, take part in the student elections or even an active role in a uni sports team, everything you can do to show an interest in personal development will mean bonus points for you later on in life. Take it from us - don’t just coast along at university; grab every opportunity you’re given with both hands. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

WWW.CV-LIBRARY.CO.UK

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

OPPORTUNITIES NATIONAL

EDINBURGH

Graduate Graduate Recruitment Sales Consultant Executive

Office Admin

Marketing Assistant

Edinburgh £8.50/hour

Edinburgh Market Rates

Job ID: 201438525

Job ID: 201407892 Do you have passion and experience of the digital Marketing world? This Edinburgh firm requires an enthusiast part time employee to drive their digital marketing forward and develop their digital image. This is a permanent contract - part time initially. A full time role with successful progress may eventually be on offer.

(permanent)

£20000 - £40000/annum +£40K + Benefits London Job ID: 20a1421118

£25000/annum

You would be recruiting into both contract and permanent positions. Initially you will start in a resourcing role which will support a substantial part of your training. This Graduate role will eventually see you placed in a 360 Recruitment Consultant role in a fast-paced and lucrative industry. You will be developing new business, increasing your candidate network, attending meetings with clients, interviewing candidates and be writing and posting professional job adverts.

Civil engineering or environmental science graduates are required for this leading British manufacturer. Based within the manufacturing facility you will report into the Director of Business Development and help manage major projects with local authorities, utilities providers and associated contractors. Dealing with engineers, you will assist with enquiries, produce quotes and close business.

This stable, well-established electrical services business is looking for a part-time Finance Administrator to work within their small, friendly office. As the only administrator in the office, you will be expected to look after all basic office tasks, such as monitoring stationery and supplies; filing and mail duties and maintaining basic personnel files and you will also act as first point of contact on the phones.

Graduate Software Developer

Graduate Engineer

Market Research Interviewer

Sales Associate

£20000 - £25000/annum

Southampton Job ID: 201419012

Leeds Job ID: 201403764

Edinburgh £63-£80 per day

Edinburgh Market Rates

Job ID: 201401603

Job ID: 201420823

A large multinational company is looking for a number of Graduate Java Developers in the Southampton area. Graduate Developers must be passionate about software development. You will ideally have some skills with Java, but any coding experience with C, C++ or C# will also be considered. The position will be highly varied and will include designing, writing and testing highquality code as you work alongside experienced developers.

This multi-disciplinary practice operates Worldwide and deals with buildings, transport, environment and energy to an award-winning standard. You will have the chance to work on a fantastic range of projects where you will be designing systems for hospitals, data centres, banks, offices, schools. You would have just finished a degree course in building services or are currently in your final year able for day release.

If you are confident, committed and enjoy meeting new people, why not join this existing team of Market Research Interviewers where you can enjoy a variety of interesting work? Almost every day a new opinion poll or survey hits the headlines. A large number of these are conducted face-to-face in people’s homes. No selling is involved!

This company is made up of people with a real passion for quality customer service and for creating amazing customer experiences You’ll play a key role in helping the store to maintain performance and meet sales targets. As new products are introduced in store, you will build your knowledge to ensure that you can deal with every type of customer enquiry.

(permanent)

Manchester Job ID: 201421283

Electrical Design

(permanent)

(part-time)

To find out more and apply for these jobs please visit www.cv-library.co.uk

WWW.CV-LIBRARY.CO.UK

SPECIAL

OCTOBER 2014 THE UNIVERSITY

ACCOMMODATION

SURVIVING HALLS

Edinburgh will soon be alive with the pitter-patter of tiny fresher’s, but what can our newest residents expect of their communal abodes? By DONNA FOULIS & RAMONE MOODY

PHOTO CREDIT: ARACELI SEGRETTO TROMBETTA

NAPIER West Tollcross. Tollcross is close to pretty much everything a student could need – Fountain Park is situated a short walk away so you have a cinema, bowling alley, gym and restaurants on your doorstep. And, oh yeah, University. It’s a short roll out of bed to the Merchiston campus; bad luck, Sighthill students, you’re stuck on the bus. Riego Street. These halls are just across the road from West Tollcross, so you’ll be able to visit your mates in other flats. It’s slightly closer to Cowgate, so a shorter walk to the clubs and bars – which is great for Fresher’s but a bit dangerous for exam time, when you’ll be tempted to sack the revision and go for a pint.

EDINBURGH Pollock Halls. Ooh, get you. It’s one of the few catered accommodations; you might have a wider variety of vegetables available than students who do their own cooking, but whether you choose to eat them is another matter. Living on the foot of Arthur’s Seat is undeniably cool; however, you’ll quickly get bored of people asking if you live in Hogwarts. Kincaid’s. Based just on Cowgate, this is a great place to host parties and go on out; downside, if you live on the ground floor prepare to never sleep soundly again.

QMU

Prepare to pay for a lot of taxis. On the plus side, being a bit out of the city ensures you’ll avoid most of the late-night noise (unless it’s coming from the room next door!) and it really means you’ll bond with your fellow students. The showers seem to be made for tiny contortionists, but boys should enjoy themselves – the university is 75% girls.

HOUSEMATES THAT EVERYONE HAS CASSIE DONEY

PHOTO CREDIT: CASSIE DONEY

Moving into halls is like the first day of school: new people, new places, new teachers. Go in with some idea of what to expect with our handy guide to the most common types of flatmate.

THE SILENT PASSENGER: While you think someone might be living in the room next door, you aren’t quite sure. Every knock on their door is met with sleepy eyes and grunts – largely due to their nightly gaming marathons online. If after five days they don’t materialise in the kitchen, start worrying.

THE BANTER BRIGADE: They are the British cousin of the frat-boy in all of their fist-pumping glory. Probably has a blaring pre-sesh setlist on Spotify everyone will know word for word by Christmas. Due to the noise disturbances, they may also be on first name basis with security. THE GYM FANATIC: They have a pack of chicken or tuna on standby AT ALL TIMES. Talking to them, the topic often shifts to what body part they will be exercising that day (rarely a leg day). After the first month, it won’t be odd to see them without their shirt on, and everyone will be weirdly okay with that.

THE CUPID: Within the first week, they’ll have found their soul mate and will be paired for life. Their boyfriend/girlfriend will be an honorary flatmate and if you’re lucky, they might even help empty the bins!

THE INEPT CHEF: If you don’t think your flat has one – bad luck, it’s you. The microwave is their best friend and many fire alarms have been triggered due to their efforts. Shepherd them away from the stove, we beg you.

THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

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Guide to your student areas

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FRANCESCA STREET & DONNA FOULIS

PHOTO CREDIT: ARACELI SEGRETO TROMBETTA

EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY

NAPIER UNIVERSITY

NEWINGTON

TOLLCROSS

It’s likely you lived in Newington halls in first year, and whilst you might be tempted to move elsewhere, why would you? You’re super close to all the shops: having the trusty Tesco on Nicholson Street as your neighbour is a definite plus. And living across the road from George Square is perfect for those days when you oversleep your alarm. You’ll quickly find your flat becomes a popular one for pre-drinking once everyone realises how close you are to pubs and clubs! On the downside, Newington is a less residential area so it can be louder than some of the other areas. Newington doesn’t really go to bed at night! The fact the area is full of shops means the streets are a bit dirtier as well.

This is an ideal location for Napier students as Merchiston is walking distance and bus routes are readily available to both Craiglockhart and Sighthill campuses. It is also a vibrant area of the city, with many cafes, bars, restaurants, cinemas and shops so you’ll never be short of things to do. When it comes to nights out, both the Cowgate and George Street are a short walk away, as well as being situated close to the Meadows for all those summer barbeque and beer sessions.

BRUNTSFIELD Quirky shops and cute cafes, beautiful architecture and picnics on Bruntsfield Links are some of the highlights of the Bruntsfield experience. The area is considerably less studenty, which means less noise. On the downside, Bruntsfield is pretty far away. “Think Siberia,” said my Newington-dwelling friend when I asked what she thought of it. It’s certainly not the best place to live in if you enjoy the ‘rolling out of bed and into lectures’ lifestyle. As pleasant as the walk to classes might be in early September, when it snows in winter, you’ll quickly find trekking forty minutes to class is the last thing you want to do.

UNIVERSITY TOP 10’S:

ESSENTIALS

LEITH Although it’s quite far from the campuses, Leith is well served with bus routes and it is possible to get a direct bus to both Merchiston and Sighthill. Despite the distance, flats in Leith tend to be cheaper and, if you don’t stray too far down Leith Walk, then you’re still fairly close to the city centre. There are plenty of quirky, hidden gems to be found in the area as well as a vibrant sense of community with events such as the Leith festival. Landmark to look out for: the beast that is Conduit road. Walk up this everyday and you’ll have calves of Sheffield steel.

Moving away from home can be a big change, so here are 10 essentials that we think will come in handy

DONNA FOULIS PHOTO CREDIT: KATIE MATTHEWS

Wifi: to keep you in the loop

A mug with a pun: to remind you that life isn’t all bad

A onesie: to keep cosy during those cold winter nights

Alarm clock: to force you out of bed in time for class

Clothes horse: so you can learn to do your own laundry

TV: because who can live without endless e4 re-runs?

Endless supply of teabags: enough said

Things to decorate your wall with: to make you feel at home

Toastie machine: your diet for the next year

Books: to make you look smart (and, erm, study!)

BROGAN HOWIE

PHOTO CREDIT: KATIE MATTHEWS

FIVE MISTAKES YOU’LL PROBABLY MAKE Moving out for the first time will always result in mistakes. While the partying and independence will make you glad you took the plunge, you’ll also have a few rocky moments that’ll lead to you crying on the phone to your mum.

1 2 3 4 5

WASHING – Clothes don’t wash themselves? A new world will open up to you, and the taboo of mixing whites and colours becomes clear. Suddenly laundry is the bane of your student life after you ruin all your nice tops. DISHES - The dishes are never ending and leaving them in the sink is a no go. Eventually an angry flatmate will write an anonymous note shaming you. Get those gloves on and scrub! SLEEPING IN - The alarm no longer comes in a parentpackage with a cup of tea. The snooze button will become the new enemy. Brushing your teeth, combing your hair and pulling on clothes at the same time is never fun, especially when the lecture started twenty minutes ago. FORGETTING YOUR KEYS - Always remember where the keys are. Standing in the rain outside the flat at three o’clock in the morning and shouting that you’re cold won’t win you many mates, and is an experience you won’t want to repeat. FLAT PARTIES –Remember the parties you had as a kid, when you ate cake and ice cream and your mum cleaned up? That’s not what parties are like in University. If you host pre-drinks or someone’s birthday night out, be prepared to find half-empty cans behind your sofa for the next week. And who tried to make a beer bong with empty toilet rolls anyway? But don’t despair! In between waiting for your loan every month, arguments over who buys the milk, and a whole host of other hurdles, university will be the best time of your life. After all, you’ll have new friends to deal with your idiocy (just be prepared to deal with theirs as well!)

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THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

WHICH team should THE ESSENTIAL QUESTIONS

SPORT

you join?

CASSIE DONEY

PHOTO CREDIT: CASSIE DONEY

Been to Fresher’s fairs but baﬄed by the choice of sports? Have no fear – our handy quiz will help you decide which activity best ﬁts your personality!

d) You’re already passed out under the table anyway

Q1 – Your ﬂat is a tip and your parents are coming to visit in half an hour. Do you –

Q3 – You’ve left your essay to the last minute and your friend from the year above oﬀers to help you with it. Do you –

a) Ask your flatmates to pitch in and make it fun with a great playlist b) Tell your flatmates they have to help you and give them a list of tasks c) Your flat would never get messy! d) Leave it – you’re sure your mum won’t mind doing the washing up!

a) Gratefully accept, and offer to help them study for their upcoming test b) Give them specific things to research and annotate – they did offer! c) Last minute? You had that bad boy in weeks ago. d) Write the essay as quickly as possible and go out with your mate. Why waste a night hanging out?

Q2 – It’s your birthday and your two friend groups are arguing over where to go out. Do you –

Q4 – You’ve completely forgotten to do your part for a group project due the next day. Do you –

a) Suggest a third club that everyone likes b) Tell everyone that it is YOUR birthday and you will decide c) You’ve already planned this – you’re having two parties!

a) Apologise and stay up all night working on it b) You did all the organising anyway! c) Cry- how could you make such a mistake? d) Apologise and print out a Wikipedia page as your share.

MAINLY A – You make everything fun - a team sport like football will help you make loads of pals and have a laugh!

MAINLY C – You’re organised, motivated and a bit of a lone wolf. Swimming would be perfect for you!

MAINLY B – You’re a good leader but can be a bit forthright – a contact sport like rugby would ﬁt your direct personality. Just make sure you’re captain!

MAINLY D – You’re just out to have a good time – stick to playing Frisbee with your mates in the Meadows.

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THE UNIVERSITY OCTOBER 2014

SPORT

SPORTS SOCIETIES

JOEL GUTTERIDGE

PHOTO CREDIT: ANDREW PALMER

5 TEAM MATES YOU WILL ALL KNOW

CASSIE DONEY

PHOTO CREDIT: MATT FLETCHER

THE BIG FISH: This person thinks they’re destined for greatness. They were captain of every sports team in their tiny high school and react with horror when they’re relegated to the reserves in uni. Their room is probably covered with trophies and ribbons that they treat like Olympic medals. Be prepared to listen to them repeatedly talk about the great goal they scored… five years ago.

THE AMATEUR: The amateur is usually pleasant enough, offering to host socials and chatting to everyone on the team. However, once you get on the pitch, you start to wonder if they even know what sport they’re playing. Brace yourself for a long term of explaining the rules of the game every half time. A unique experience for both newcomers to the sport and seasoned divers is the Sub Aqua Society. Not only will they teach you the foundations required to become a sufficient diver, but you will also receive a qualification that is accepted worldwide, allowing you to experience areas of the world you never thought you would. The society also offers the chance to explore Scotland, an amazing opportunity in itself. They also boast amazing diving spots and beautiful countryside landscapes to go with them. So, if you think you can stand the cold, go sign up now. The Dance Society is not for the faint hearted, considering the range of styles running throughout the week. The timetable this year promises to be their busiest, including ballet, contemporary, commercial jazz, musical theatre, Hip Hop, heels, Zumba and Salsa. They also attend dance competitions and put together fun pieces they share with the university. The society has won both the ‘Best Team Award’ and ‘Best Society of the Year’ with its 70+ members supporting its every movement. You will also show off your dancing skills every Wednesday night, when the dance squad hits the clubs. If you’re looking for a society that likes to work hard and play hard, look no further. Keep an eye out for their Strictly Come Dancing inspired event in November – teaching another sports player how to tango is bound to be fun to watch! The Kayak Society has all the gear, experience and fun that a sport club could ask for. There’s no pressure to compete in their polo

league, so if you are just interested in exploring the intricate river system up in the Highlands with a friendly bunch of people, then this is the club for you! With many day trips, and social outings the Kayak society offer this experience to all levels of competence and commitment. However, do not mistake this for a cakewalk; if you choose to, you can go white-water rafting, which will certainly send your pulse racing. Do you like contact sport? How about trying out for the Napier Knights American football team? Brought back in 2010, the Knights are a solid team on and off the field, as they became a playoff team last season. This year, they aim to make it to the National Championships. Teaching people of all levels, this society offers the chance to participate in one of the most fast-paced, physically demanding team games on the planet. And if you’re still undecided, perhaps their bar golf tours, toga parties and karaoke nights can entice you. Paintball brings a whole new being to the term deadline day; on normal circumstances, this signals the culmination of many sleepless nights. However, the Paintball Society is here to help you unwind over a nice friendly game with mates. Mates that you can shoot. Just down Leith lies an indoor shooting arena that plays host to many outings from the paintball society, as well as competitive tournaments. And if you think there is no skill to this awesome sport then you are wrong, these guys do tactical training so they can go home with the prizes.

THE PLAYA: You’ll be able to spot this type easily because they’re normally too busy checking out potential hook-ups in the crowd to notice there’s a game going on. They’re in it for the champagne lifestyle and the glory; they’ll disappear a few weeks after joining when they realise it’s more like Lambrini and early training sessions.

THE BACKSEAT COACH: This person claims to have been raised with the sport as their religion, and shakes their head sadly at every decision made by the referee. There’s no one more irritating to sit next to on the bench, because they’ll point out every mistake made, from formations to plays to the colour of the strip. Oddly enough, when they’re offered a chance to lead, they disappear into the background.

THE BRUISER: Not to be mistaken for the amateur, this person is normally brought along by a friend and offers to make up the numbers one day – and then runs rings around everyone else on the team. They’re an athletic genius, gifted with natural talent and cursed with a complete lack of interest in the sport. They decline to join the team, claiming it’s not for them. Everyone hates the Casual Olympian.