Winter 2013/14
Member
Partnering the Leagues of Friends since 1949.
The Gatwick Group Suppor ted by Gatwick Airpor t Ltd and Sof itel London Gatwick SAMM South East is an independent charity with links to other victim support organisations both at home and abroad. Registered Charity No. 1078466
How to find us at SAMM South East
If arriving by car, park in the NORTH Terminal SHORT TERM car park. Direct access to the Sofitel Hotel can be made from the 3rd floor. Keep your ticket and we will supply you with an exit pass.
The SAMM south east mobile phone number on the day is:
07951 728 178
www.sammuk.co.uk
CAR PARK
CAR PARK
5
DROP OFF AREA
SOFITEL HOTEL
WALK WAY
6
TRANSIT – NORTH/SOUTH
The SAMM SE meeting room: Details will be displayed in reception of the Sofitel Hotel.
5
Short stay
CAR PARK LANE
If you arrive by rail or from the South Terminal, use the FREE Rapid Transfer to the North Terminal.
Ticket barrier
6
Short stay
Where we meet NORTH TERMINAL FROM A23
PLEASE NOTE: CAR PARK 5 IS BEST CHOICE
Winter 2013/14 Hello, I start this year with the very sad news that our much loved Trustee of over 25 years, Joan Martin died on September 11 this year aged 80.. Joan was hit by a van whilst crossing the road, the A27 near her home in Worthing on August 21. She fell and hit her head and suffered a fractured skull broken ribs arms and internal injuries. She was airlifted by helicopter to Southampton Hospital and later transferred to Worthing where she died without regaining consciousness. Her husband Ray daughters Rosemary and Susan and grandchildren spent many hours by her bedside. Ray tells me of the wonderful care she received from the nursing staff at both hospitals right up until the time she peacefully passed away. Even in her state of unconsciousness she was treated with kindness and respect as were the family and visitors. The funeral was held at Worthing crematorium on Friday, 27 September and conducted by the Rev. Erica Howard a friend of Joan’s for many years. It was one of the nicest, if that’s the right word, and dignified funeral services that I have ever attended. Sentiments which were echoed by almost everybody that attended. Joan Martin was loved and respected by all who knew her at SAMM and by many members of her local community. After the murder of her sister Betty she soon became involved in charity work and became devoted to helping others. Joan and her husband Ray were responsible for setting up the first branch of Victim Support, as at the time there was nothing of its kind in West Sussex, and of course, Joan was heavily involved with SAMM and later SAMM South East. Several hundred pounds have been donated to us in memory of Joan and if you would like to make a small donation in her memory, please send it to the SAMM South East office, the address is in the back of this book, with a little note saying in memory of Joan. Joan was a lovely sweet and caring lady she, with the help of husband Ray, did a tremendous amount of good in helping and supporting literally hundreds of families and friends of murder victims. She will be remembered and greatly missed for a very long time.
Support After Murder and Manslaughter
David cont. Now something very positive, Ray Joan’s husband, has agreed to become a SAMM South East Trustee. Apart from the official title, he has been fulfilling this role for many years as has Mick Walkling, Dorothy’s husband, and my wife Heather. Thank you all for your help and support. We have again this year been lucky enough to have several short breaks. The first was 10 days in Malta staying at the Hotel Victoria in Sliema a short drive from the airport and near to the capital Valletta. This was in March a bit early in the year so it wasn’t exactly boiling hot but we did manage to spend some time on the beach topping up our tan. There aren’t that many beaches on Malta but if that’s what you want to do they are easily accessible by the very frequent efficient and very cheap bus service. I think we paid something like €12 each for five days of unlimited travel.
The charming Hotel Victoria is a short walk down the hill to the seafront. A bit more tiring going up the hill after a long day! The fourstar Hotel Victoria, with its indoor pool and outside rooftop infinity pool (only open in the summer) and a fully equipped gym, it tries to cater for everyone and mostly succeeds. The food, bar and most especially the staff were outstanding. Malta has a lot to offer from museums to boat trips, quaint fishing villages to modern seafronts, with harbours bustling with yachts and cruisers. Malta also has a history that will leave you wanting to know more, especially the part many of us still remember - the part it played in the second world war. But amongst the most lingering memories are those of the people, who must be among the most polite and courteous on our planet They even speak English, and of course their native Maltese, and to top it all, drive on the same side of the road as us!
bour
Highly recommended! Our next was to the West Country, as usual with our friends Trevor and Jackie. It’s nice because we share the driving and we both have a chance take in the scenery. As on our other adventures we book the first nights’ accommodation and then just go where the road takes us. This trip was in early June and we had booked the first nights’ accommodation in Teignmouth Devon. We had a leisurely drive down. Booked in at our hotel got rid of our cases then drove to Torquay for the evening. After a walk along the promenade we had a lovely evening meal on the front I think mainly consisting of mussels and chips, afterwards a sweet and coffee before going back to Teignmouth for the night. The next day was bright and sunny and we decided to have a look at Paignton and somehow Trevor persuaded us that we would all like a trip on the Paignton to Dartmouth steam train. It was a super trip and we did all enjoy it and the fabulous views were at their best on this clear warm and sunny day. We then had a look round Brixham, I hadn’t been there for about 50 years or more and the others hadn’t been there at all.. It’s changed very little since my last visit. From there we went to St Austell and then on to Charlestown were we booked a night at the White Hart Inn. The following day Heather recalls in her diary hot and blue skies all day, perfect!
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Support After Murder and Manslaughter
Highly recommended! cont. We first drove to Padstow and were very impressed, just wandering and looking at the boats. Then on to Newquay which we explored for an hour or two before booking a night in a Travelodge at Wadebridge, we dumped our cases and went back to Padstow for our evening meal afterwards spending a long time listening to the band playing on the front by the harbour and then just wandering around this lovely seaside town until dusk.
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We had hoped to visit friends in the area but when we phoned they weren’t at home and we simply ran out of time but we have planned to do another trip that way because we also missed out on the Eden project and a trip on the boat to the Scilly Isles.
Padstow
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www.sammuk.co.uk
We then set off in an easterly direction stopping off and to have lunch in Polperro before driving to Teignmouth and booking in at the same hotel where we spent the first night. The weather was wet and dull the next day as we made our way home, very leisurely and even finding time for a nice lunch to break our journey. We arrived home safe and sound with lots more memories and all realising how privileged we all are to be able to make these trips with friends and partners of more than 53 years and with hardly a cross word in all that time. In July our grandson George and his fiancÊe Jo, both 24, were married at an open-air ceremony on the beach in Turkey, so this gave us a perfect excuse for having a week’s holiday in the sun, just the two of us this time. All the family flew out together and we were in the same hotel which was lovely. The
wedding and reception were magical and we really enjoyed our first visit to Turkey. The couple are now settled in their brand new two bedroom flat with wonderful views over the Sussex countryside. They are buying it through a part ownership scheme, well worth looking into for first time buyers!
Whitby
A few weeks ago the four of us set off on another trip again -this time to see more of our lovely country. We made our way up the East Coast and had our first stop at Whitby. Then up the coast via Newcastle along Hadrian’s Wall to Carlisle where we spent two nights and visited our friends, Catherine and then Robin, both making us very welcome. The next morning we made an early start, down the motorway to the Lake District where the weather was deteriorating so we crossed over the Dales and back to the East Coast, visiting lots of interesting places that we hadn’t been to before. We finally ended up in Constable country visiting the spot where the Haywain was painted, then home via Malden and the M25.. Five very full days and a little over a 1000 miles. Trevor has worked out the cost and it seems to have worked out at about £190 each for hotel accommodation and fuel, not bad value for money for lots of happy and interesting memories and even the weather was mainly very good! We also somehow managed to fit in a trip on the Bluebell Railway and a Gourmet Dining return trip on the steam train Tornado to York. Time we started to think about our next ‘Educational’ trip but I doubt it will be before March when we all go to Tenerife for 10 days! David.
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Support After Murder and Manslaughter
TV Documentary If you were among those who contacted us after the Victim Support TV documentary about their support for families of murder victims. Yes, it was screened without our prior knowledge and Yes, we did feel that it ignored and undermined the difficult and hard work POMC and later the SAMM groups and their members have put in for more than 25 years - often in the early days working in conjunction with VS. It seems things have changed! Before that there was no help or support offered by VS
We at SAMM South East are still here as are:SAMM Merseyside, SAMM National, SAMM Abroad and other charities...
Was all this a waist of time?
www.sammuk.co.uk
Winter 2013/14
Victims Services Alliance In the last newsletter I mentioned that we had joined the Victim Support sponsored Victims Services Alliance. This as I understood was to be an alliance of charities and other organisations whose primary interest was supporting and caring for those bereaved as a result of murder or manslaughter. It now appears not to be the case and the doors have been open to many other charities and organisations all in their own way very worthwhile and needing help and assistance. But as you may be aware SAMM, originally a branch of the Compassionate Friends was established because at the time the founders and members felt that being bereaved as a result of murder, manslaughter or unlawful killing was more complicated and often even more devastating to the families and friends than many other deaths, as sad and horrendous as they are. Murder is a deliberate act of savagery by a fellow human being often causing fear and distress beyond belief. Where in many other cases people pass away surrounded by friends family and often caring medical staff doing their utmost to relieve their suffering and hopefully ease their passing. We are also aware that horrendous and devastating accidents occur but accidents are not a deliberate act. The families and acquaintances of murder victims are often,
yes in many cases correctly, regarded as prime suspects and all that that entails, and as you know it’s often months before you are allowed to have a funeral. Then for the lucky ones there will be a trial which is often a year or more later. Another devastating experience even if the verdict goes the right way. Many partnerships and marriages break down, lose their jobs or their ability to work and even more suffer long-term mental and or physical conditions for the rest of their lives. Things have improved a lot in the 28 years that I’ve been involved but there is still a very long way to go. The view of many of us at SAMM South East is that a member of society, our society has taken a life and destroyed the lives of many others and that all societies should be responsible for the actions of its citizens, it must do all in its power to help the victims. This was my hope for the Victims Service Alliance but the way things are at the moment my enthusiasm for the Alliance is on the wane. We will wait and see how it develops before making any future decisions on our membership. We know, and many of us support other worthy charities, but our main objective at SAMM South East, because we can’t do it all, is to gain more understanding and help for people like you, and like me, and the many other thousands who have seen their lives blighted and in many cases destroyed by acts of violence and unlawful killing. In this country, fortunately, we are a tiny minority but unfortunately because we are relatively small in numbers we are easily ignored, overlooked and forgotten.
Desiderata Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection.
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Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. Max Ehrmann c.1920
Ministry of Justice Page history: Published 29 March 2013 Policy: Helping and supporting victims of crime Topic: Law and the justice system Minister: Helen Grant MP Victims of crime will now be able to hold the criminal justice system to account for the support it provides and be backed by a clear set of entitlements thanks to a statutory new Victims Code, Victims’ Minister Helen Grant announced today. A simple new Code – written for victims rather than the ‘System’ for the first time - has today been put out to consultation to ensure it gives victims what they need. It tells people what they can expect from the moment they report a crime to the end of a trial, and who to demand help from if it is not provided. The Code will also ensure extra support for victims of the most serious crimes and offer specialist help to young victims. The Code will: Make sure victims of the most serious crime, the most persistently targeted victims or the most vulnerable/intimidated victims receive extra help and support - including pre-trial therapy and counselling and access to support services to help them cope and recover
•
victims a louder voice. For the first • Give time it will provide all the information
Winter 2013/14 needed for a victim to tell the court about the effect a crime has had by providing a Victim Personal Statement. Victims who give Personal Statements report this helps them immensely, but previously information about how to give one was provided on an ad hoc basis which saw very low take-up rates. The Code will tackle this postcode lottery and incentivise much better use across England and Wales
for victims, not the system, to • Bemakewritten sure they receive all the help and
support they deserve, every step of the way
a right to redress by making all • Ensure criminal justice agencies have a clear,
accessible complaints system to deal with problems quickly and properly and point victims in the direction of the Parliamentary and Health Services Ombudsman where further action is needed
a specialist support and advice • Provide designed to help young (under 18) victims
of crime and their guardians so they are better prepared for what to expect from the criminal justice system Now all victims are automatically offered support once they have experienced a crime, but in 80 per cent of cases victims don’t want this. For instance, someone who has their phone stolen from their bag probably doesn’t want to be referred for help. Instead we now propose automatically offering help to those who most need it, such as victims of the most serious crimes. However any victim of any crime continues to have an entitlement to support and will be able to get help if they want it.
Victims’ Minister Helen Grant said: ‘Victims must have more help navigating a confusing and often intimidating Criminal Justice System. Too often they tell us they feel they are treated as an afterthought or that ‘system’ made their already horrific experience worse. ‘I have always been clear we must put a stop to this, and make sure victims of crime are treated with the care they deserve. This total revamp of the Victims Code has been one of my main priorities and I have heard from victims just how important getting this right is. ‘Victims’ will now be able to understand and prepare themselves for their entire journey through the criminal justice system, from reporting the crime to after the trial. It easily explains what they should expect from the system, and who to demand help from if it is not being provided. ‘It is one of many measures I am introducing to make sure the ‘system’ starts to put victims first.’ For more information contact the Ministry of Justice press office on 0203 3343540.
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Crime data: Homicide at 30-year England and Wales low
he number of killings reached a peak of • Tnearly 1,000 a decade ago The number of murders and killings in England and Wales has fallen to the lowest level in nearly 30 years, Office for National Statistics figures show. Police recorded 550 homicides in 2011-12, 88 fewer than the previous year and the lowest number since 1983. 60% of respondents in England in Wales thought crime as a whole had gone up!
• Perceptions of offending
The survey also found that 60% thought crime in the country as a whole had gone up. But when asked for their perceptions of offending where they lived, people’s views tended to tally with official statistics: only 28% thought crime had risen in their local area. Respondents most commonly cited the media when asked which sources of information gave them the impression that national crime rates were increasing.
NOW EVERYONE WINS A BIT Support us and win up to
British Crime Survey suggests police visibility up The visibility of police in England and Wales has been increasing but a quarter of people have never seen an officer on patrol in their area, figures suggest. The Home Office has released more data from the 2010/11 British Crime Survey of household residents aged 16 and over between April 2010 and March 2011. It suggests 55% had seen police or community support officers at least once a month, up from 38% in 2006/07. Some 14% of 11,462 respondents reported seeing officers at least daily. Police recorded crime rates for the South East region were comparatively low with 68 per 1,000 population in 2010/11 compared with an average of 75 per 1,000 population across England. For local authorities the highest level for selected recorded crimes was in Slough (74.6 per 1,000 population), more than four times the rate in Wealden in Sussex (16.9 per 1,000 population). The household crime rate of 2,520 per 10,000 households in 2010/11 was the same as the England average.
£25,000 in our weekly lottery Dear Friends Many SAMM members find that helping others gives them a sense of purpose to their own lives. You too can help by taking part in our SAMM SE Weather Lottery – for just £1 per week! Good luck! Download a Lottery form directly from the SAMM website at:
www.sammuk.co.uk or email David at:
david@sammuk.co.uk A fundraising lottery where everyone wins
www.weatherfunds.co.uk
Registered with Croydon Council License No.: 05/00323/LA Promotor: David Howden SN0022
Twelve tests Trust us, this is a good test, so many of the questions are tantalising. You should be able to get at least three, but you have to be a genius to get 10/12. Question (2) is especially tricky. 12 Tests - (Answers supplied on next page) 1 There’s one “sport” in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score of the leader until the contest ends. What is it? 2 What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward? 3 Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables? (Biennials don’t count.) 4 Name the only sport in which the ball is always in possession of the team on defence, and the offensive team can score without touching the ball? 5 What fruit has its seeds on the outside? 6 ln many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn’t been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
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7 Only three words in standard English begin with the letters “dw” They are all common. Name two of them. 8 There are fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name half of them? 9a Where are the lakes that are referred to in the “Los Angeles Lakers?” 9b For English readers, What is the Vale referred to in Vale Park. 10a There are seven ways a base ball player can legally reach first base without getting a hit. Being designated a pinchrunner is one way. Name the other six. 10b For readers in cricket playing countries there are 10 ways of being out in Cricket. Hit the ball twice is one. Can you name the other 9. 11 lt’s the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh. What is it? 12 Name six (or more) things that you can wear on your feet that begin with the letter “S”.
Winter 2013/14
Quiz answers 1
B oxing. (Possibly ice Skating)
2 Niagara Falls. The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it ever minute.
3
Asparagus and rhubarb.
4 Baseball. 5
Strawberry and cashew nut.
6 The pear grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed aver pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the whole growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.
7 Dwarf, dwell. and dwindle. 8 Period (full stop).comma, colon, semicolon,. dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces and ellipses.
9a In Minnesota, The team was originally known as the Minneapolis Lakers and kept the name when they moved west
9b Port Vale football club play at Port Vale Park. 10a Batter hit by a pitch; past ball; catcher interference; catcher drops third strike; fielder’s choice; and being ‘Walked’ by the pitcher.
10b Cricket; Bowled, Stumped, LBW, Run Out, Court, Hit ball twice, Hit wicket, Handled ball, Obstructing the fielder, and the one everyone forgets - Out of time.
11 Lettuce. 12 Shoes, socks, sandal, sneakers, slippers, skis, snowshoes, stockings.
BEST & WORST INVESTMENTS • lf you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have £49.00 today
• lf you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG insurance company one year ago, you would have £33.00 today.
• lf you had purchased
£1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers five years ago, you would have nothing today.
• lf you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Northern Rock three years ago, you would have nothing today
• But, if you had purchased
£1,000 worth of beer one year ago at Tesco’s, drunk all the beer, then taken the aluminium cans to the scrap metal dealer, you would have received £214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.
Gatwick airport news stories
Chief executive Stewart Wingate said he would resign if his airport fails to make the government’s shortlist.
Gatwick Airport has had two terminals - the north terminal and the south terminal - but only has one runway. It is the busiest single runway airport in the world, the second busiest airport in the UK (after Heathrow), and in the top 10 busiest airports in Europe. Once best known as the airport for holidays and charter flights, in recent years Gatwick airport has established itself as a major international hub for scheduled services, which now account for over a quarter of the passengers who pass through this airport. Today over 80 different airlines fly in to and from Gatwick airport, serving more than 200 destinations around the world and carrying over 34 million passengers in 2012, up 1.7% on a year earlier. Gatwick hotel celebrates coveted award for its food 7:00am Tuesday 22nd October 2013 Staff at a Gatwick hotel are celebrating being presented with a coveted award. The Sofitel at the airport’s North Terminal has been given the heady honour of two rosettes from the AA for its food. The AA inspector who sat down to a threecourse meal there recently, unbeknown to the catering team, went as far as to write in his report, “Every mouthful a joy.” The inspector also wrote that the dinner in La Brasserie, situated within the Sofitel, was the “high point” of his overnight stay, gave the waiting staff credit for their food and wine knowledge, and commended the cleanliness of the four-star hotel.
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Shortlisted Gatwick wants to expand with a second runway south of the existing airport The boss of Gatwick airport has said he is “absolutely confident” a second runway will be one of the options put forward to increase airport capacity. Chief executive Stewart Wingate said he would resign if his airport fails to make the government’s shortlist. A new runway to the south of the existing airport is among submissions being considered by the government-appointed Airports Commission. The commission is due to publish an interim report at the end of 2013. Mr Wingate made the resignation remarks at the launch of new flights from Gatwick to the USA by budget airline Norwegian, starting next summer.
‘JUST IN’ 4th Dec 2013
Good news for Mr Wingate! British Government announces new infrastructure plan Including it was announced, it will provide a further 50 million pounds for a full redevelopment of the railway station at Gatwick Airport.
An established luxury hotel uniquely located within Gatwick Airport, directly linked to the North Terminal and minutes away from the South Terminal by Monorail.
A spokesman for Gatwick said Mr Wingate’s comment that he would resign was a “throwaway line”. Mr Wingate has said there is a “robust and compelling case” for going ahead with the West Sussex airport’s plans for expansion, which would be privately financed. Mr Stewart Wingate, above, has also said the case for a privately funded expansion is compelling The Airports Commission is also considering a submission from Heathrow to build a third runway.
Sofitel London Gatwick offers sheer ease and convenience, only 30 minutes by Gatwick Express from Central London. World-class service includes 518 luxury bedrooms and suites which are all 100% non-smoking, and various dining options all ranged around the soaring central atrium. The hotels 11 meeting rooms, most offering natural daylight. Special offers Rooms and suites Meetings and events Easy access to terminals Park and fly Hotel restaurants
01293 567070
London Mayor Boris Johnson has also put forward proposals including a four-runway hub on an artificial island in the Thames Estuary. He has also proposed a hub on the Isle of Grain in Kent, or expanding Stansted airport. Earlier this month, chairman of the Airports Commission, Sir Howard Davis, said its emerging thinking was that some additional runway capacity was needed in south east England. A final recommendation for increasing capacity in the South East is not expected before 2015.
Make use of your south east airport SAMM South East have been meeting at and have been supported by Gatwick Airport Ltd (and their predecessors) for over 20 yrs, and Sofitel who kindly provide our monthly meeting room, and much more. Gatwick Airport, West Sussex, Crawley RH6 0PH, United Kingdom
General information:
+44 (0) 844 892 0322 www.sofitel.com
Poems ...
Homicide Victims Support Group Australia
“Many people may listen, but few people actually hear.� Harvey Mackay
The value of time To realise the value of one year, Ask a student who has failed a final exam. To realise the value of one month, Ask a mother who has just given birth to a premature baby. To realise the value of one week, Ask a editor of a weekly newspaper. To realise the value of one hour, Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet. To realise the value of one minute, Ask the person who has missed the train, bus or plane. To realise the value of one second, Ask a person who has just survived a car accident. To realise the value of a millisecond, Ask the person who has won the silver medal in the Olympics. Time waits for no one. Treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.
Is this a picture of a goblet or faces?
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Celestial flight She is not dead but only flying higher, Higher than she's flown before, And earthly limitations, Will hinder her no more. There is no service ceiling, Or any fuel range, And there is no anoxia, Or need for engine change. Thank God that now her flight can be, To heights her eyes once scanned, Where she can race with comets, And buss with rainbow's span. For she is universal, Like courage, love and hope, And all free, sweet emotions, Of vast and godly scope. And understand a pilot's fate, Is not the thing she fears, But rather the sadness left behind, Your heartbreak and your tears. So all you loved ones, dry your eyes, Yes, it is wrong that you should grieve, For she would love your courage more, And she would want you to believe, She is not dead. You should have known, That she is only flying higher, Higher than she's ever flown.
Winter 2013/14
Comes the dawn
Tell Me
IF
After a while you learn the subtle difference,
You feel there are no words -
If we look beyond the stars
What can you say? I know. I’m glad you are here.
Will we find lost loved ones of ours?
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning,
And a touch is nice.
Still ours is not to reason why,
But I need words too.
But we must try.
And that company doesn’t mean security.
Tell me you loved my son if you did.
If we look beyond the universe,
And you begin to learn that kisses Aren’t contracts, and presents aren’t promises
Tell me you thought he was bright,
If only we could really see,
Between holding a hand and chaining the soul,
And you begin to accept your defeats With your head up and your eyes open, With the grace of a woman, Not the grief of a child,
Witty, handsome, good hearted You knew him in a way l did not. Tell me. Tell me of some fond memory
What would our future be? How much simpler and easier life would be. Would God give my son back to me? What is it like where you are? Is it very far?
And learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrows grounds are too uncertain for plans……
Of you and my child together.
Do you think of me, I hope you do,
I need all the good memories
About the life that used to be,
Of him I can gather up now -
And futures have a way of falling down in mid flight.
Even second hand ones.
Your brother, sisters, Dad and me.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
That I’m not the only one.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
But your silence hurts more.
Then you learn that you really can endure.... That you really are strong and that you really do have worth. And you learn and you learn.... With every goodbye you learn.
Tell me you will miss him Your words will make me cry, Tell me.
When I shed a tear, is it you I seem to hear, Saying don’t you cry, You know it was never Goodbye. Elizabeth Foord For my son Francis who was murdered 9 years ago (2004) aged 34. We all miss him so very much.
Samantha
Angel Tree
Wendy and John Turner are two wonderful people who did a tremendous amount of work in getting our charity established. They were a great influence on me in those early days when we were all fumbling around without any help or direction. It was only due to our founders June Patient and Ann Robinson who managed, somehow, to pull a handful of us together for mutual support and understanding from people that really could empathise.
A book about a fir tree called Nora.
At the time we were part of POMC “Parents Of Murdered Children.” Wendy and John’s daughter Samantha aged 17 had recently been murdered in France while on a college exchange. I have just been reading an article written about six years ago, telling how they are horrified that the killer is soon to be set free. Heather and I, as are Ron and Sylvia and probably many more of you, are going through this same, difficult time. Gary Taken, Tessa’s murderer, has been moved to an open prison in Kent and is now on escorted day release. Inevitably he will eventually be let out unsupervised. It may seem daft but we now have extra looks, security lighting, and CCTV. All the internal doors are locked and we lock ourselves in our room at night. We also have ‘defensive devices’ to hand. When you wake in the night hearing unidentifiable noises all this doesn’t sound so extreme!
Karen took to writing as a "release" and as a tribute, and in memory of her sister Claire, who was killed in the Palace Backpacker Hostel fire in Queensland Australia 13 years ago. The image of what she saw still haunted her. "I snapped inside. I felt a surge of raw emotion she said”.
By Karen Kelly ‘When 23-year-old British backpacker Claire Webb perished in the Palace Backpacker Hostel fire in Childers in 2000, her family weren't sure if they could ever get over it. But Claire's sister, Karen Kelly has found a way to help keep her spirit alive’
To help her cope with her grief I started going on writing courses and had some poems published for a charity support group," she said."Writing ... helped me through tough times." When she began Angel Tree, Karen said she wanted to capture Claire's sense of humour and make people smile. For her next project, she said she was rewriting her sister's memoir."It is an arduous process, but worth it.
Winter 2013/14
Extracts from Geoffrey P’s letter My dear partner of 44 years, Valerie, was in the days leading up to and on 4 October 2006 unlawfully killed. Putting it mildly it is a very long, distressing and dreadful story to tell. Compounded by the matters which have followed it, I have found it very difficult if not impossible to get the appropriate authorities and agencies to cooperate or to follow up investigations thoroughly or properly with many matters still outstanding concerning due justice. However by a stroke of miraculous serendipity while at the parish church of Ditchling in West Sussex on Sunday, 22nd. June 2011, I came across a small booklet entitled “When Someone Dies: a Practical Guide” and giving particulars of an organisation called ‘Support After Murder and Manslaughter’ with a contact telephone number. In following matters up, I was very soon in touch with Mr David Howden the founding chairman of SAMM and now chairman of SAMM South East. David soon became involved with a small self-help group (POMC) “Parents of Murdered Children” later to become the charity SAMM after the cruel murder of his younger daughter Tessa on the 10th, January 1986, and this, like many others, is another long and ongoing story of trauma and anguish. I understand David's family have recently been informed that Tessa's murderer has been moved to an open prison in Kent and is now permitted to have escorted visits to a local town to prepare him for his eventual release.
The need for local SAMM groups soon became apparent and local groups were set up, SAMM South East being one of them. I think it was in February 1994 that the group held their first meetings at Gatwick Airport. This was to provide support to family and friends of victims with ties to the South East of England in particular. The group was soon known, and still is, as the “Gatwick Group”. I have learned that they have been meeting on the last Sunday of the month ever since and for the last four or five years at the North Terminal’s Sofitel Hotel, thanks to their generous support. Parking is provided by Gatwick Airport Ltd again thanks to their support and that of their predecessors over the past 20 years. SAMM S.E. has links and influence with local, national and international organisations and numerous individuals who have suffered, its dedicated mission is to supply succour and help to all who have been bereaved as a result of murder, manslaughter or unlawful killing. Since July 2011 I've been attending the monthly meetings and it soon became apparent that the group has survived over the years, largely because of the long-term dedication of David, Heather his trustees and their partners. I wish to express my appreciation for the help and insight they have provided me, and for all who find themselves in this predicament and with my thanks I finish by saying that unlike other channels, this group runs 100% brilliantly, and one thanks God for such a blessing and pray for its strong and long continuation for all who need its help and support. Geoffrey P. Nov 2013
Where does God fit in? There is a story told of a school where the youngsters were setting up a classroom manger scene. The crib, the clay figures of Mary and Joseph, with the shepherds and wise men all facing the cradle in which lay a tiny doll representing the Christ child. Little Derek was puzzled, “what’s the trouble?” asked his teacher. “What I’d like to know Miss is where does God fit in?”
A profound question, for when we survey our preparations for Christmas we might feel like asking the same. The mad shopping spree: the boozy parties, the carnage on our roads: the gluttony, insobriety and sentimentality, one might ask "where does God fit in?" But that doesn't really answer Derek's question, because he was looking at the features at the very heart of our faith, the centre of our carols! God 'fits in' at this simple, seemingly stupid stable in ancient Bethlehem. The baby Jesus nestling in his mother's arms was God. That this was God's way of coming into the world, and living with us for a while, so that we might know him, trust him understand him and love him. Happy Christmas. Steve Pallant (Lt Col) Free Church Chaplains London Gatwick Airport 26.11.13
Welcome to the Gatwick Airport Multifaith Chaplaincy Caring for the whole airport community, passengers and staff Anglican Chaplains
01293 503857
Free Church
01293 505775
Buddhist
01293 505540
Information on SAMM South East
SAMM South East
Charity Number 1078466
Trustees
Ray Martin, Dorothy Walkling, David Howden
Contact address
8 Foxearth Spur, Selsdon, Surrey CR2 8EP
Mobile
07951 728 178
SAMM answerphone
07506 236 189 (David – direct 020 8651 6449)
Email address
david@sammuk.co.uk
Web site
www.sammuk.co.uk
Meeting venue
SAMM SE meets at the Sofitel Hotel, London Gatwick Airport, North Terminal (by courtesy of Sofitel London Gatwick) see map on inside front cover
Dates
Last Sunday in the month
What happens at our meetings? (drop-ins is a better description) SAMM meetings provide a time for sharing emotions, very informally. We share a common situation so we are free to express any emotions; anger, frustration, sadness, and even laughter. We usually start with a cup of tea or coffee and then just chat and share stories ‘with people who will understand a little of what you are saying’. Then more tea and some refreshments. People come to give and receive support in a safe and confidential atmosphere – not to judge.
www.sammuk.co.uk
Support After Murder and Manslaughter
Can you find a place in your home, office, club or pub for this little collection box? If you think you can help please let us know and we will send you one or more! The box and postage etc cost us about £1 so anything you collect over that is worthwhile. It all helps. Please try – if we receive just £4 from each family a year it would pay for all our post and phone bills.
Perhaps you could ask a friend! If you urgently need to talk, try the help lines
Telephone SAMM on 0845 872 3440 or Victim Support on 0845 30 30 9000
Have you checked out our SAMM South East website yet? You will find it at:
www.sammuk.co.uk Can you help us by sending something of interest for the newsletter or the new website? If so, give David a ring or mail him at:
david@sammuk.co.uk he needs your help!
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