On the other side of adversity

“When things do not go your way, remember that every challenge — every adversity — contains within it the seeds of opportunity and growth.” Roy T. Bennett (1929-2014) – American attorney and political executive.

TRAGEDIES HAVE A WAYof forcing us to rethink our priorities. Losing a loved one through death or abandonment can be quite traumatic. Loss of property or employment can also be quite devastating. Sometimes life’s adversities visit on a personal level, as is the case when an accident, disease, or the aging process could result in our losing mobility and/or some bodily functions. It is therefore quite understandable that such situations may usher in some feelings of self-pity, melancholy, and/or depression. However, that need not be the case. As traumatic and debilitating that such situations may be, adversities can usher in new hope and a renewed appreciation for what we still have left. Sometimes we lose sight of such realities as we are going through the crisis or immediately thereafter. On such occasions, a refocusing may be most valuable. There could be blessings and growth on the other side of adversity.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1926-2004), a Swiss-American psychiatrist, reminds us that, “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

Based on her comments in this regard, we can view struggle, disappointments, and adversities as conduits to personal growth and development. We may not see or appreciate the value of struggle when we are in the midst of the adversity. However, with time, we may grow to appreciate the development prospects that the crisis created. As we reflect of the battles that we have encountered we may very well conclude and appreciate that tough situations build strong people in the end.

We can share numerous local, regional, and international examples to reinforce the truth of what has been shared in the preceding paragraphs. Many of this column’s readers, on reflecting on the thoughts shared, can testify of the personal and communal growth that occurred following life’s varied setbacks. The life and legacy of individuals like Dr. Maya Angelou (1928-2014) inspire us to extract the valuable life lessons that emerge during or following a trauma. She was raped as a young child and was so traumatised that she refused to speak for a number of years. She found solace in the books that she read during those post-rape years. Those books helped her to refocus and, among other things, ignited her love for literature and the arts. Her writings subsequently inspired many. This included the now-famous Oprah Winfrey (born 1954) the American talk show host, television producer, actress, and philanthropist, who was also traumatised during her childhood and found comfort in reading Dr. Maya Angelou’s writings. Maya reminds us that, “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” There is life and hope, and victory, on the other side of adversity.

Arthur Golden (born 1956) the American writer, advocates that, “Adversity is like a strong wind. I don’t mean just that it holds us back from places we might otherwise go. It also tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that afterward we see ourselves as we really are, and not merely as we might like to be.” There are so many survivors of various forms of adversity who can testify of the emotional nakedness and vulnerability that misfortune would have created in their lives. In some instances, the adversity resulted in an exodus of some family members and associates - leaving behind a remnant of friends. However, the adversity would have magnified the true friends who remained following business failures, sickness, divorce, abandonment, loss of employment, and a host of other tragic experiences. Such experiences are considered priceless, as they tend to blow away the “chaffs of friendships”. Such “friends of convenience” or “dry weather friends” vanish when there seems to be a scarcity or when conditions appear challenging, uncomfortable, or difficult. In addition, such adversities enable us to better appreciate the often-latent inner strengths that we possess; the ability to cope and rebound even after the most traumatic of experiences. We are often more resilient and resolute than we think.

Many of this column’s readers would be familiar with many of the inspirational poems and hymns that were penned by Helen Keller (18801968), American author and disability rights advocate. Helen lost her vision and ability to hear when she was 19 months old. It was speculated that these losses would have resulted from her having contracted meningitis and scarlet fever. Many still consider it a mystery that, having lost these two critical senses (i.e., sight and hearing), she was still able to learn language. When she was six years old, her parents sought the advice of an eye, ear, nose, and throat specialist Dr. John Julian Chisolm (1830-1903) and the famous Alexander Graham Bell (1847-1922) who worked with blind children at that time. One year later, when Helen was seven years old, Anne Sullivan, a graduate of the Perkins Institute for the Blind, accepted the challenge to teach this youngster who was understandably beginning to show signs of emotional instability. Through very skillful teaching methods, Anne patiently taught Helen how to write and spell. Helen became the first deaf-blind person to acquire a Bachelor of Arts degree and was inducted into the Alabama Women’s Hall of Fame in 1971. Her outstanding accomplishments remind us that it is possible to overcome great adversity in pursuit of a noble dream. There are great opportunities on the other side of adversity.