Modern Louisville by The VOICE

HIS JOURNEY OF SELF-ACCEPTANCE AND WHAT’S IN STORE FOR HIS FUTURE

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Letter from the Publisher I’m so excited to be a part of making history with our city’s first LGBTQ magazine. This idea came to me just a few months ago, and I’m simply thrilled I had such an amazing team rally to produce this inaugural issue so quickly. The timing of it just couldn’t be better now that couples in every state in the nation can legally recognize their love through marriage. Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote in the Supreme Court ruling, “Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization’s oldest institutions.” At long last, they aren’t excluded anymore, and Modern Louisville is celebrating this pivotal moment in history with a magazine that highlights the culture and lifestyle of the LGBTQ community of Louisville. Our intention is certainly not to segregate LGBTQ voices, but instead, we hope to give greater space to these voices and recognize the contributions of this population to our community. Every major city in the U.S. has done this so successfully, and we want to be part of that movement – the movement toward equality. You can expect to find in these pages columns, features, arts and entertainment stories and more – all created by people devoted to preserving, protecting and furthering LGBTQ rights. In our very first feature story, writer Remy Sisk sits down with Bobby Petrino Jr., the son of UofL head football coach Bobby Petrino Sr. We’re excited to share this young man’s journey of coming out and hope his everyman tale provides inspiration and comfort to the myriad of young men and women with similar stories.You’ll get an exclusive look at how Bobby has changed since coming out, what he thinks of his home in Louisville and what’s in store for his future. Let me applaud this young man for his courage and being an excellent role model for younger members of the gay community to look up to. Meanwhile, A.J. Jones introduces us to his regular series “Trailblazers,” which will focus on LGBTQ pioneers in the community. In this issue, he talks to transgender Army National Guard captain Jacob Eleazer, whose quest to end the ban on transgender military service took him all the way to the White House. His story is gripping and eye-opening, and I encourage you to read it and reflect on what you can do to aid in this goal put forth by this extraordinary man. Modern Louisville editor Nicole Troxell discusses how Kentucky is faring after the legalization of gay marriage. You’ll get a glimpse into what’s happening in Rowan County and read a very special letter to us from David Moore, who, with his fiancé, was denied a marriage license by County Clerk Kim Davis, a story that has now gone national. Although the situation transpiring in Rowan County CLAY COOK PHOTOGRAPHY

is absolutely egregious, we celebrate the milestone SCOTUS ruling with some photos showcasing gay weddings. These photos prove just how beautiful marriage is and how this ruling has been long overdue. There’s truly so much LGBTQ culture in Louisville that I’m surprised we were able to fit so much into one issue! Successful drag queen Leah Halston gives us a glimpse into her life. You’ll learn how she came to be who she is today – her story is truly unique and inspiring! And there will definitely be drag queens at the Louisville Pride Festival. Thomas Carrier, founder of Louisville Pride Festival, gave us the inside scoop about the upcoming local pride event in September. Modern Louisville is a big supporter of this event and we invite any and all members of the community to come celebrate equality with us. Lastly, my dear friend Lori Kay Scott has been gracious enough to contribute a column to Modern Louisville. Lipstick is an absolute

must-read in the magazine as it lightheartedly chronicles the day-to-day life of Lori as she navigates the ever-unpredictable waters of adulthood. Whew! And that’s just our first issue. Going forward, we hope that you’ll reach out to us on our website, modernlouisville.com, and on our social media pages to let us know what you’d like to see in issues to come. After all, you are the voice of Modern Louisville. Respect, Acceptance & Love.

MODERN LOUISVILLE ||| September • October 2015

meet the team

Tracy A. Blue Publisher Hollis Gargala Executive Assistant to the Publisher Editor-in-Chief Style Editor Production Director Staff Writer Advertising Operations Director Lead Account Executive Account Executive Graphic Design Columnists Distribution Sales Coordinator Circulation Administrator Contributors 4

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Nicole Troxell Lori Kommor Joanna Hite Shelton Remy Sisk Bridgette Borraga Laurie Phieffer Lennon Sarah Conti Shari Baughman Chris Humphreys Malissa Koebel Hannah Krill A.J. Jones Lori Kay Scott Wil Heuser Rocko Jerome John Aurelius Danny Alexander Crystal Ludwick Antonio Pantoja Brian Walker Caroline Wilson

For advertising information or to order a subscription, call 502.897.8900 Modern Louisville™ is published bi-monthly by Blue Equity Publishing Louisville, LLC. Subscriptions $18 a year. Single copies $3.75. Periodicals pending postage paid at Louisville, Ky. and additional mailing offices. U.S. Postage Service ID: Louisville (ISSN 2380-3355) Email: editor@modernlouisville.com Website: www.modernlouisville.com POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Modern Louisville; 735 East Main Street; Louisville, Ky. 40202. ©2015 Modern Louisville™

entertainment

arts

community

The Making of a Queen page 8

Passion of Pandora page 14

Breaking Stereotypes page 18

fe a tu re

table of contents

t rail b l aze r

Everyman’s Story page 24

SEPTEMBER • OCTOBER 2015

Jacob Eleazer page 36

lipstick

community

If You Obey All The Rules... page 40

Invisible History page 42

Louisville Pride Festival page 50

c ultu re

Wil Heuser’s Birthday Celebration page 61

GLOW Fairness Ordinance Session page 62

Pandora’s Drag Volleyball page 63

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from the readers

The Voice of Modern Louisville We asked local leaders and community members what Modern Louisville means to them. Here’s what they had to say: Two of our city’s competitive strengths are our diverse culture and our diverse people, and the creation of Modern Louisville will highlight both in new and creative ways. Louisville’s LGBT community is creative, innovative, entrepreneurial and compassionate, and the new magazine will feature all those traits on its pages. Congratulations to the Blue family for investing in our city’s most important asset – our people. -Louisville Mayor Greg Fischer For Louisville to be a truly great city, where our businesses are growing, our educational system is world class and our neighborhoods are diverse and inviting, we must be a place where our friends and neighbors in the LGBTQ community are welcomed and encouraged to thrive and prosper. -David Tandy, District 4 Councilman Congratulations to Tracy Blue for her bold new venture in social entrepreneurship. -Kent Oyler, CEO Greater Louisville Inc.

I am thrilled to see the launch of an LGTBQ magazine. Highlighting the community’s participation in and contributions to the city is key to visibility, pride and building allies in the work moving forward. It is exciting to watch the growth in consciousness, policy and celebrations regarding LGBTQ issues. I was co-chair of the Kentucky Fairness Alliance and passing the Fairness Ordinance was such a game changer. We have come a long way. Louisville is a very diverse and colorful city to live in. Modern Louisville Magazine will be great addition to the city. It is one more validation that we are a compassionate, affirming, progressive and diverse place to live, work and play. It means that we as a city are truly embracing all facets of the LGBTQ community. My hope and dream is that the magazine highlights the intersections of LGBTQ folks. We have many cultures and languages living with us, and we are part of all those cultures. -Marta Miranda, President and CEO, Center for Women and Families

I’m so proud of Tracy Blue and her commitment to our community. Modern Louisville is a fresh new publication with a bold vision, and I am delighted that once again Tracy’s work will help spotlight all the wonderful things about our city. -Lynnie Meyer, System Vice President, Women’s and Children’s Community Partnerships, and Chief Development Officer, Norton Healthcare Louisville is finally living up to its label “compassionate city” with its enlightenment for our LGBT family. Dignity for all. -Terry Meiners, Media Personality “I am excited for the launch of Modern Louisville. As we see a change across the nation, it is amazing to see Louisville embrace the entire community and looking forward to a world where different labels are no longer used and we are all just human beings. This is another step in that direction.” -John Leffert, Artistic Director, CenterStage at the JCC

Do you have ideas for Modern Louisville? Is there something you’d like to see in our pages? We welcome your feedback! Email us at editor@modernlouisville.com 6

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The Making of a

Queen Leah Halston’s Journey into Louisville Drag written by A.J. Jones photos by Antonio Pantoja

alking down a small maze of corridors to the cast dressing room at Play Dance Bar, drag queen Leah Halston seems right at home. She navigates with ease to her dressing area, as if inviting a guest into her living room, knowing where the furniture is without looking down. It’s warm, and she turns on two fans and a few lights. Behind her, dresses protrude from her closet, tulle and sequins a stark contrast to the utilitarian floors and walls. It’s hours before the first show on a Friday night, and the bar is nearly empty. In front of each closet is a counter and mirror for the cast members to use. There, makeup is organized into drawers stacked taller than Halston, and photos of friends with messages of love and support cover the area. A suitcase lies open on the floor. She’s packing for a trip. “I’m performing in North Carolina this weekend, so I’m trying to get everything together,” she says. Halston and her family, who hail from Houston, Texas, always knew she would be an entertainer, but she never imagined she’d be an emcee. “I was always doing some kind of talent show,” she says. Her grandmother used to say that Halston would be on TV someday. “I haven’t made it to TV quite yet,” she laughs. She has tried out for RuPaul’s Drag Race, but

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says that she is content where she is now. “Sure, being on the show would be great, but I’ve been everywhere and done everything that I wanted to do. I’m happy.” Halston has traveled all over and held many jobs, but this is the one she loves. She’s worked as Bugs Bunny at Six Flags, a flight attendant, an apartment leasing agent and more. Halston was performing at The Cabaret in Cincinnati when an opportunity presented itself. “When I heard that there was going to be an audition for Play’s new location in Louisville, folks encouraged me to audition, so I went down to Nashville and tried out. I had never performed at Play, had never auditioned. First time out of the shoot. I did Tina Turner. Once I got off the stage, the management asked me to come back to the office with them and offered me the job.” Now she is the emcee at Play and also hosts “Drag Boot Camp” for aspiring queens. “Everyone gets started somewhere,” she says. “I started off in high school in the early 90s. I was in theater arts, and I was the class clown. This talent show came around, and my friend LaTonya and I were going to perform in it. There is this song called ‘Born Again,’ an old duet. Being the goofy type of person I was, I got the

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“My friends and I would sneak out to the gay clubs and I saw these beautiful women on stage and said ‘Oooh! What is that?’”

idea to switch roles. So when the night of the talent show came around, no one knew what was happening. LaTonya had on a pimp hat; I had this blonde hair on. But when my turn to sing came around, I faced the audience with these eyelashes made of weave that I had curled so that when I blinked, they rolled out. The choir director couldn’t keep singing she was laughing so hard. Everyone went crazy; you couldn’t hear anything. That was my first attempt at comedy, at drag. “In my senior year, I found out that there were gay clubs. My friends and I would sneak out to the gay clubs, and I saw these beautiful women on stage and said ‘Oooh! What is that?’ One of the performers asked me if I did drag, and when I said no, she told me I had the face for it and that I should come back on Thursday for their talent night. So I did, and it went from there.” Back then, a drag queen learned from the queens around her – from everything and everyone around her. “There were no YouTube tutorials on how to do your face. So you watched other people or movies or magazines. You had to be

very observant,” Halston recounts. Halston spent a number of years as a celebrity impersonator at a casino stage show in Tahoe starting in 2000. Her drag mother, LaWanda Jackson, was the resident celebrity impersonator there and looking to find her own replacement. “It’s difficult to find someone who can transform their face into different celebrities. That’s what separates me from some performers now,” Halston claims. The steady gig appealed to her and “the way folks cheered and applauded when they saw me perform there. I really loved that.” A drag mother – a mentor to young drag queens navigating the scene and their style – is important for a queen coming up in the world. “You either find your drag mother, or she finds you,” Halston says. “She’s somebody you look up to or admire, someone who makes you lose your mind when they hit the stage.” Halston acknowledges that many gay drag queens are not accepted by their family of origin. She talks about her drag family the way one might talk about their own aunt, nieces, sisters and mothers, but with a particular kind of reverMODERN LOUISVILLE ||| September • October 2015

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ence: “It’s like a whole other world. But it’s people that love you and accept you for who you are.” A drag family may come together in less formal or structured ways, but they often choose their own family or house name. “I have 10 sons and three daughters and some people that just carry my last name without even asking but, you know, I feel honored because they took my name,” Halston admits. “They see something in me that they like and I can be a mentor to people. It’s neat. “These children will call me and be like, ‘Mom, what are you doing,’ and I live as a guy. But they will post on my Facebook saying ‘Mom, I miss you.’ So when my biological mother asks if they are calling me mom I have to say, ‘Yes. It’s a family thing.’” Halston draws out the phrase “family thing” in a way that belies how often she translates her gay and drag life for those who don’t understand it. After four years on the celebrity impersonator stage, Halston’s path led her to the pageant scene. “Pageants have been around for a long time. If you are a competitive person, you can be that pageant girl. It takes a lot of time, money and dedication to do pageants,” she says. Halston recognizes that times are changing: “Nowadays, if you aren’t on RuPaul’s Drag Race, 12

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“It’s like a whole other world. But it’s people that love you and accept you for who you are.” you’re not getting booked. So the next thing to do is pageants. Even if you don’t win, you are seen by booking agents and club owners and that’s how you get booked for clubs and events. A lot of girls do the pageants for the experience and the exposure.” When Halston moved to Louisville to perform at Play, she knew a few local performers, but she was relatively unknown in the scene. “There are some big shoes to fill here,” she says, naming a list of performers she admires. “I am so happy that Louisville has accepted and wel-

comed me with open arms. Because some places can be shady when you go to a new town.” Halston asserts that drag is important to her community. “We all have problems and issues that we go through. But drag is like a little vacation; it’s an escape.” For her, drag is where she can be confident and happy, leaving problems behind and living in the moment on stage. Sometimes, for drag performers, it’s even more important than it is for the patrons who cheer from below the stage. Drag is a calling, she says, “When I started doing drag, I made a vow to myself that I would quit when I turned 40. I just turned 40 this past April. I didn’t think I would still be doing this at my age, but every time I try to quit, something pulls me back in.” Halston believes herself lucky to have a home like Play. If drag is someone’s full time job, having a gig at a place like Play is the goal. “This is where I am supposed to be, and I am blessed,” Halston says. “Not everyone gets this. I have space for my things, a steady place to perform. I get to continue learning from my castmates. The younger girls teach me all the time. They keep me young and fresh. A good drag queen keeps up with the times, and I have to keep up.”

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aarrttss

Theatre of Social Justice

written by Remy Sisk

n Greek mythology, Pandora’s box was filled with all the evils of the world. But for Michael Drury, Pandora’s box revealed an unexpected gift: the mismatched props and costumes of a fading theatre company. Drury, who is now the producing artistic director of Louisville’s LGBTQ theatre company Pandora Productions, was an actor in the late ‘90s when fate handed him the box that would change his life. Drury had been looking for a reason to settle down in Louisville and had an inter14 14

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est in producing. He floated the idea of buying Pandora from its founding members in 1999. To his surprise, they told him he could simply have it. “And that’s how it happened; I was given a mailing list and a box of costumes. It really truly was Pandora’s box!” Drury recounts. Fifteen years later, Pandora Productions is a well-regarded and respected theatre company on the Louisville arts scene. Pandora believes in the transformational power of theatre and seeks to tell the stories of the LGBTQ communi-

ty while speaking to a broader cultural audience. Its current operation, however, is the culmination of a journey that took Drury through the most distinct highs and lows of theatre. Drury took over the company in 2000 but didn’t produce his first show until 2003. He recalls that the mission of Pandora, at the time, was nonexistent, or at least unclear. “I knew I really wanted to produce theatre with a social justice theme,” he explains. But he had trouble getting it off the ground – until a friend and ad-

ar ts visor gave him her take. “She said, ‘It seems like Pandora just really wants to be a gay and lesbian theatre company,’” he recalls. “And I was like ‘That’s so specific; I feel like we’d really be boxing ourselves into a corner.’” Sure enough though, once those words were brought into the universe, there was no stopping it: Pandora was destined to be an LGBTQ theatre company. Its first show under this banner was the gripping and controversial play “The Laramie Project,” an experimental piece of theatre that explores the characters and situations surrounding the 1998 murder of Matthew Shepherd. Through an unforeseen series of events, the company wound up performing the show in the Chapel of Central Presbyterian Church. “It was really powerful,” Drury says of the show which was performed to intimate and receptive crowds under magnificent stained glass. The next four years saw consistent growth from Pandora: It found a home in The Henry Clay Theatre; it expanded its model to a fiveshow season, and it continued receiving press accolades and public attention. Any reservations the company had about bringing LGBTQ theatre to the city were repeatedly dashed as performance after performance went on without incident. At the time, Drury remembers eagerly anticipating the future thinking, “Clearly, we live in a progressive city that is ready for this!” But the worst was still to come. The 200809 season hit the company hard as the recession decimated subscriptions and the company lost its home theatre due to leasing issues. “We almost folded,” Drury remembers. “We talked about how we would ramp this down.” Thanks to a generous benefactor who made

COURTESY PHOTOS

Michael Drury, Artistic Director of Pandora

a significant donation and mandated Pandora match his funds, the company resiliently stayed afloat, bouncing around venues again and working with renewed determination. Then, in 2012, The Henry Clay reopened its doors and welcomed Pandora as a core tenant alongside Bunbury Theatre Company. Pandora has been producing cutting-edge theatre in that space ever since.

While Pandora is still focused primarily on stories with LGBTQ themes, its scope of material is expanding. A question Drury has faced ever since the company’s revitalized inception is, “When are we going to run out of material?” To date, they haven’t – and won’t anytime soon, as new works of this theme are constantly being created. Going forward, Drury is tremendously excited about an upcoming fixture in the company’s seasons ahead: the incorporation of a show not necessarily gay in theme but written by a gay playwright. “I think it’s equally important,” Drury explains, “that we tell the stories that have come from the heads of people who are in our community and celebrate that as much as we celebrate the stories and lives of gay people.” The first show in that series will be their 2015-16 season opener “Passion.” Written by gay American composer and lyricist Stephen Sondheim, the operatic musical chronicles the story of Giorigio (Andrew Newton), a handsome army captain who in 1863 is separated from his beautiful married mistress, Clara (Deborah Mae Hill), when he is transferred to a remote military MODERN LOUISVILLE ||| September • October 2015

arts outpost. There, he must reevaluate his beliefs about love as he becomes the object of obsessive and unrelenting passion from the unattractive and sickly Fosca (Annette Hill McCulloch). ‘“Passion’ has a theme that people in our community – gay men in particular – need to hear,” Drury relates. “Because I think in our community we put a lot of emphasis on looks, popularity, material things, and we don’t always see people’s hearts. And this show is all about seeing someone’s heart and falling in love with someone’s heart even though they may not look pretty on the outside.” The show runs September 17-26 in The Henry Clay Theatre. With a cast of 12 and a six-piece orchestra, Drury believes it will be an especially powerful theatre experience. “And I have the most fabulous trio of actors. We are so blessed,” he said. Whether introducing new audiences to the catharsis of “Passion” or showing past patrons how much Pandora has grown the last 15 years, the company is sure to make a statement on September 17. And how could it not? It’s been doing so for years with the bold stories it tells and the passion it brings to Louisville theatre.

“I think in our community, we put a lot of emphasis on looks, popularity, material things, and we don’t always see people’s hearts.”

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LGBT Film Festival

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BREAKING S

PHOTO BY ANTONIO PANTOJA

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G Stereotypes with Edgy Multi-Issue Films written by Brian Walker

ueer film lovers rejoice: The Fifth Annual Louisville LGBT Film Festival kicks off at Village 8 Theaters on October 16. The festival is the brainchild and passion project of Travis Myles, who became interested in the idea after traveling to Bloomington, Indiana, several times to attend its LGBT film festival. Driven by the need to share these queer-slanted stories with his community, the festival was born. He enlisted the help of friends Jeff Hormann and Darren Branham. “We had no idea what we were doing!” Myles admits. But that didn’t stop him. He sought advice from friends and people who had successfully launched similar festivals. The festival currently hosts an annual screening of films over multiple days that either promote the awareness, acceptance and appreciation of diversity within the LGBT community, or that showcase the talents of LGBT writers, producers, directors, and/or actors. Myles says the biggest lesson he’s learned in the festival’s history is the importance of quality over quantity. During the first year, they screened more than 26 films around the clock. “It was too much,” he says. Since then, Myles and his team have paired the festival down, focusing on the best of the best. This year’s schedule is packed with six features and a handful of shorts. “We really try hard to break the stereotype that gay cinema isn’t very good cinema,” he contends. This year alone, Myles and his team have screened 115 submissions for the coveted slots. There are 11 people on the screening committee who take the selection process quite seriously. They begin meeting once a week in late winter for screening parties and try to watch each film as a group. Each film is then graded on a scale, and if the grade is good enough, it gets moved forward for consideration in the official lineup. “This year’s feature films all have a bit of an edge to them,” Myles reveals. “[They include] a

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confessional about living with a career-destroying secret in 1950s Hollywood; a dark drama about seduction and manipulation; a tale of relationships tested in a changing political landscape; a gritty murder mystery and a visually stunning account of sensual exploration.” The storylines reach beyond sexuality to include race, place and history. For example, “While You Weren’t Looking” explores South African post-Apartheid politics and lifestyles through the lens of two central relationships. A black real estate agent cheats on her white wife while their bohemian daughter dates a gender nonconforming woman in the ghettos of Soweto. Meanwhile, “Eisenstein in Guanajuato” focuses on a Soviet filmmaker, who, following the success of his film, travels to the city of Guanajuato in Mexico in 1931 to shoot a new film. Rejected by Hollywood, Eisenstein embraces new sensual pleasures and possibilities as he confronts his suppressed fears with his guide and chaperone, Palomino Cañedo, and explores his new found experiences in his art. 20

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Elswehere, The dramatic “Carmin Tropical” is the story of a woman, Mabel, who returns to her hometown to find the murderer of her friend Daniela. Mabel confronts feelings of nostalgia, love and betrayal as she journeys to a place where transvestism takes on an unexpected role. The festival boasts substantial support from community partners such as Horseshoe Casino, Yum! Brands, UofL and Marriott, to name a few. CEO and Principal Broker Mike Brown of On the Move Realtors Inc., a sponsor of the festival, says the agency is a consistent supporter, “On the Move Realtors is proud to have sponsored the Louisville LGBT Film Festival since the beginning because I think that it is important to educate and raise awareness within our community about LGBT issues,” Brown asserts. “These films so often seem to have a deeper meaning than first expected. It always surprises me with how good these films are given how low their budgets typically are.” “We couldn’t do it without them,” Myles says of his sponsor. Though quick to express grati-

tude for everyone involved, Myles is most proud of the guest artists the festival brings to town for the Q & A portion of the screenings, who further enrich the community’s experience. To kick off this year’s festival, the organization is holding a reveal party at Play Dance Bar on September 4, at 7:30 p.m. The party seeks to draw financial support from the community and will showcase trailers for this year’s featured films and include a silent auction and drag performances. Going forward, Myles has big dreams for the future, “The ultimate fantasy would be to have our own old theatre for the festival and screen films throughout the year, but you just don’t see those old movie houses anymore.” For now, Myles wants to focus on teaming up with other local LGBT organizations to bring home films that could have the greatest impact on the community. The LGBT Film Festival takes place October 16-18 at Village 8 Theatres. More information is available at louisvillelgbtfilmfest.com.

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Tab Hunter tells all in this documentary adaptation of the New York Times bestseller. In the 1950s, Tab is at the top of box office and music charts. He is American’s boy next door with romantic ties to Natalie Wood, Debbie Reynolds and Sophia Loren. Nothing can stop his skyrocketing career. But Tab has a secret, and now his secret is out. In this confessional, Tab shares the story of hiding his sexuality and surving Hollywood’s rollecoaster of fame.

On Manhattan’s gilded Upper East Side, a young painter, Charlie, finds the man of his dreams - a charming older pianist from across the globe. If only Charlie weren’t secretly in love with his manipulative best friend, Sebastian, who is embroiled in a financial scandal.

The changing landscape of post-Apartheid South African politics and lifestyles is portrayed through two central relationships: a successful black real estate woman who is cheating on her white wife, and their bohemian daughter dating a gender non-confirming woman in the Soweto ghettos.

This is a story about coming back. Mabel returns to her hometown to find the murderer of her friend Daniela and finds herself on a journey that takes her through nostalgia, love and betrayal in a town where transvestism takes on an unusual dimension in its day.

This is the latest release from master visual storyteller Peter Greenaway. In 1931, following the success of the film “Battleship Potemkin.” Soviet filmmaker Sergei Eisenstein travels to the city of Guanajuato, Mexico, to shoot a new film. Freshly rejected by Hollywood, Eisenstein soon falls under Mexico’s spell. Chaperoned by his guide Palomino Cañedo, the director opens up to his suppressed fears as he embraces a new world of sensual pleasures and possibilities that will shape the future of his art.

A collection of LGBT short films.

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EVERYMAN’S STORY Bobby Petrino Jr.’s Coming Out Every gay man has his coming out story. The best experiences are quick and easy, leaving the parents smiling and proud of their son’s newly declared identity. The worst are prolonged and difficult with the parents sorrowfully searching for conversion therapy camps and questioning what they did wrong to have their son turn out this way. Then there are the array of stories somewhere on the spectrum between best and worst. The ones where it took someone nearly a quarter of their life to come out. Or the ones where the parents didn’t take it nearly as well as was hoped. Bobby Petrino Jr., the son of University of Louisville head football coach Bobby Petrino, has a story right there in the middle. But getting to the point of accepting himself as gay – which he cites as the most difficult part – and getting to the point of being able to tell others took an entire adolescence, as it does for so many. story by

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REMY SISK

photography by

ANTONIO PANTOJA

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EVERYMAN’S STORY

Clockwise from left: Nick Petrino, Bobby Petrino and Bobby Petrino Jr. at the 2006 4A State Championship; Nick Petrino, Kelsey Petrino Scott, Becky, Bobby and Katie Petrino and Bobby Petrino Jr. on a family vacation in the Bahamas in 2005; Nick Petrino, Bobby Petrino and Bobby Petrino Jr. at the 2004 Liberty Bowl; Bobby Petrino Jr. at age 2 with his father, Bobby Petrino; Bobby Petrino Jr. during his senior football season in 2008.

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EVERYMAN’S STORY

Petrino, now 25, was born in Idaho but moved across eight different states due to his father’s football coaching career. No matter where he was, however, he was the quintessential athlete. Throughout his childhood, Petrino demonstrated serious talent and interest in gymnastics, football, basketball and baseball. “We moved everywhere growing up,” Petrino describes. “But sports were always my whole life.” Due to his generally perceived “straight” (keep in mind, this was 2000!) behavior, a certain accusation came as a genuine shock when Petrino received a three-way phone call attack one night during the summer between the fifth and sixth grade. A friend called him and, unbeknownst to Petrino, had another person on the line waiting to hear his response to the statement, “He thinks you’re gay.” Uncertain of how to process that, he paused on the telephone line, saying nothing. But in his head, he was for the first time acknowledging a truth that would define a significant part of his identity for the rest of his life. “I was just like, ‘Am I gay? Maybe I am,’” Petrino remembers thinking. “It was at this point that I really tried to suppress it.” Growing up in a sports-centered family where gay slurs were tossed around just as they were in millions of homes around the country, Petrino had little to look to for his burgeoning sexuality and, consequently, did the only thing he thought he could: hide it. “I hung out with only guys,” he claims of his teen years. “I was very much a bro or jock in high school.” To resist any homosexual tendencies and in an effort to “straighten” himself out, Petrino dated girls well into his sophomore year in high school. In fact, as a freshman and sophomore at Trinity High School, he had a single consistent girlfriend, though he’s quick to point out their physical intimacy never went beyond kissing. Midway through his sophomore year, his family moved from Louisville to Atlanta so his father could coach for the Atlanta Falcons, the city’s NFL team. Petrino couldn’t find it within himself to continue dating girls, and he recalls using his ex-girlfriend from Louisville as an excuse. “I would just play the card, ‘I’m in love with a girl from Louisville still,’” he remembers of when he moved to Atlanta. “So I avoided having to have a re-

lationship with other girls.” Petrino made it through high school without incident, but on the inside, he was waging an internal war all too many young gay men do during this time of their lives. “I was trying to make myself straight,” he reveals. “I thought I could, in a way, conquer it, you know? Like not be gay. Obviously that’s impossible to do, but I tried.” Petrino and his family were only in Atlanta for a short time; thus, the family moved again, this time to Fayetteville, Arkansas, where Petrino Sr. had landed a job as head coach of the football team at the University of Arkansas. Petrino Jr. finished high school in Arkansas and graduated from Fayetteville High School in 2009. But all the while, he was still working to find a way to somehow overcome his sexuality. His efforts led him all the way to the college selection process, where he made his matriculation decision based on how to best conceal his being gay. Petrino signed a contract to play football at the United States Air Force Academy. Of this choice, he remembers, “I made my decision because I thought it would be the best way to hide my sexuality.” Alas, the prize of the Air Force Academy in no way outweighed the price. “I got there and I hated it,” Petrino recounts. “But more than that, I was in basic training, and all you do is think. You just sit there for six weeks and think.” Unable to escape his mental prison, Petrino transferred out of the academy and into the University of Arkansas in his semi-hometown of Fayetteville. He then spent a year and a half in an exceptionally unhealthy mental state. Usually outgoing and jovial, Petrino was now withdrawn, unable to escape the truth that was eating him alive from the inside out. He spent this time lonely and depressed, yearning to be alone so that he may find some kind of reconciliation within himself to make his life at least somewhat livable. His search led him to transfer colleges again and attend Sullivan University in Louisville. He remembers it enticing him: “I could get away from my family and just be on my own.” He still had positive memories of Louisville from his early years of high school and accordingly, thought it would be a place that may provide some sort of release. But a year into his pro-

MODERN LOUISVILLE ||| September • October 2015

EVERYMAN’S STORY

gram at Sullivan, he was still in anguish, unable to lead a life that was pleasurable or fulfilling. He knew something had to change. “One night I got to a point where I was like, ‘I can’t live like this,’” he recalls. “I was thinking, ‘Either I’m going to accept this, or I’m going to kill myself.’ That night, I was bawling my eyes out, and I called my friend and told her I was gay. And from that moment on, I knew I wasn’t going to live a lie anymore.” Although he had taken a serious step toward inner peace, Petrino knew it would be an arduous and emotional process. “There’s phases of coming out,” he explains. “First you have to be okay with yourself; then, you have to be okay telling other people.” Consequently, his first steps toward living his freshly asserted identity were taken on his own and at his own pace. He had his first gay sexual experience. “It was pretty amazing,” Petrino remembers. “I had to hold that in for so long, and then I finally got to experience it at 21. I remember the next day at school I was all smiley and happy.” At last liberated, at least for himself, Petrino relished his new opportunity to explore. While he was in Arkansas for one of his father’s football games, he met a guy who would become his first boyfriend. It was a long-distance relationship for a while as Petrino was finishing at Sullivan University and his boyfriend lived in Arkansas. They would see each other whenever Petrino came to town for his father’s football games, and he remembers bringing his boyfriend around the house often as his “best friend.” Obviously, he was more than Petrino’s best friend. He, too, was mostly in the closet and helped Petrino through his coming out process. “I just felt when I was with him that I had someone else who loved me for who I was,” Petrino recounts. “Because no one else really knew who I was. It was a great feeling because it made me think ‘I don’t really care what anyone else thinks about this.’” Imbued with renewed confidence and armed with a man who loved him, Petrino took the scariest step in coming out: He told his family. His little sister, his true best friend, was the first to know. “I could hardly get it out because I was bawling the entire time,” he remembers of telling her. “And she was just telling me how much she loved me. With her I never thought it would be a problem. It was more about being okay with myself telling her. I knew she wouldn’t care.” He then told his older sister and finally his mother. His mother had grown up with a gay older brother so was hardly

From top: Bobby Petrino Jr. with Lana at the Grand Canyon in 2015; Bobby Blair, Todd Mercier, Bobby Petrino Jr. and Hunter Hale on Valentine’s Day 2015; Bobby Petrino Jr. with his mother, Becky Petrino, in 2015 at the opening of the Petrino Family Foundation Trauma Room at Kosair Children’s Hospital.

EVERYMAN’S STORY

Bobby with his dog Lana.

surprised by her son’s revelation. “She said she already knew. My boyfriend was like my ‘best friend’ at the time, and he had been coming around as my ‘best friend’ for a while. And she kind of knew the warning signs to look for because of her brother.” As Petrino is generally closer with the ladies of the family than with the men, he allowed his mother to tell his father and brother. Consequently, he and his father never really had the conversation. Petrino does recall of when his father acknowledged that he knew, “He gave me a really big hug and told me he loved me no matter what. He’s never treated me different. If anything, our relationship is better ... He’s engaged [my boyfriends] and always been really nice.” Although his final emergence was fairly painless, his family underwent a significant change of ideology once Petrino Jr. came out. “For them, things changed a lot,” he describes of the time. “They went from

thinking being gay was a lifestyle choice to realizing it’s not a choice. And it brought us closer together.” Indeed, with everything out in the open, Petrino no longer had to hide who he was – quite the opposite. He was now free to be himself and have his boyfriend over for family dinners and take him on family vacations. At long last, he was entirely free. He was able to tell the truth to himself and to others. “It felt like I had just removed a 50-pound weight I was carrying around with me for my entire life,” he expresses of his coming out. “I was filled with such a relief that I could be who I truly was and say what I was truly feeling. I didn’t have to lie about who I was anymore, and that was the best feeling in the world.” Petrino admits a certain amount of surprise to have not seen any backlash after his coming out. Growing up, he was always perceived as straight and was never subjected to any sort of bullying. “Anytime

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EVERYMAN’S STORY

when you’re around football, you joke about being gay,” he remembers of his sports-centered childhood. “And I felt that, and it affected me a lot. I overcompensated to get past it and be [perceived] as straight as possible.” But when he finally did let go and come out, he knew a lot of people from his past would be somewhat blindsided. “No one else ever questioned [my sexuality] at the time,” he relates. “Everyone besides my family who found out was really shocked. They never saw it coming.” Although it was a surprise to his friends, no one ever had anything negative to say. “Everyone’s been great about it,” he contends. “But I don’t really care if they have an opinion. I’d just feel bad for them.” While he is glad to finally be out and proud of it, he laments how long it took and how the shape of society often prolongs the process for young gay men, as it did for him. “There’s so many people to look up to now,” he describes of gay public figures. “And who did we have growing up? Nobody. I really thought I was the only gay person in the world. I just hoped there was somebody out there like me.” Once he embraced his sexuality, however, he realized there was no other way he possibly could have lived his life. Looking back on his childhood, he can’t believe how far he’s come. “Growing up, I never thought I’d come out. I thought I’d be 40 years old with a wife and kids and maybe be able to accept it then.” Fortunately, the acceptance came much earlier than 40, and he is now able to openly live his life as a gay man, but that also means living with the struggles of any romantically involved individual. After graduating with his associate’s degree in culinary arts from Sullivan in 2011, Petrino moved back to Arkansas to work on his bachelor’s degree and be with his boyfriend. Simultaneously, his family was going through a tumultuous time due to a situation involving Petrino’s father at the University of Arkansas, and the couple split in an ugly breakup. For several reasons, not the least of which being the disintegration of his relationship, Petrino transferred to the University of

September • October 2015 ||| MODERN LOUISVILLE

Louisville in 2013 to complete his degree in accounting. Sadly, due to mismatched credits, he essentially lost a year of school when he transferred but will be graduating with his degree in December 2015. In addition to a new school, Petrino found an entirely new lifestyle when he moved back to Louisville. “I wasn’t really used to having gay friends,” he explains. “I always had my boyfriend and my straight friends. But now being back here, I’ve made so many friends, and I’m pretty active in the gay scene.” Prior to transferring, he admits he was somewhat uncomfortable with some aspects of gay culture, such as going to drag shows or hanging out with especially flamboyant men. But making more friends and sharing new experiences has led to a complete erasure of that discomfort and a much more open mind. “None of that matters to me anymore,” he asserts. “It’s all about who someone is as a person – not what’s on the outside. And that’s the biggest thing I’ve learned living here.” Now, an active gay member of the Louisville community, Petrino feels that he can walk down the street with ease and doesn’t let his thoughts of his sexuality inhibit him anymore. “My sexuality plays a small role outwardly, but internally it’s a big part of me,” he describes. “It’s not something I hide but I also don’t declare it.” This is not to say Petrino isn’t proud of his sexuality; rather, it’s simply not an issue for him anymore, which is partially thanks to the ongoing national changes. The Supreme Court ruling, for example, illustrated to him the fact that he has a community to be a part of and moreover a country that is ready for him. “Even though I am not at a point in my life where I am considering marriage, the marriage equality decision is paramount,” he states. “I’m happy to know that when I do want to get married, I have the right to marry someone I love regardless of their sex.” Further affirmation and inspiration came earlier this summer when Petrino attended his first pride

EVERYMAN’S STORY

“I DIDN’T HAVE TO LIE ABOUT WHO I WAS ANYMORE, AND THAT WAS THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD.

”

MODERN LOUISVILLE ||| September • October 2015

EVERYMAN’S STORY

festival. But he didn’t just attend – he marched in the parade. “It was so cool,” he recounts of the festival. “You see all these families and these little kids supporting it, and then you have the naked people over on the other side. It’s great.” What really made an impact on him though and what made him reflect the most on his own life was the presence of children, especially children who may grow up to be gay. “I think the most important thing for little kids these days is that they have people to look up to,” he ponders. “Gay is not such a taboo thing anymore. It’s a normal thing. There’s still a ways to go, but it’s getting there. I mean now, kids don’t have to feel bad about themselves or hate themselves for half their life.” Indeed, part of the reason it took Petrino so long to accept who he was was because he had no point of reference for his identity – no one to look up to and no one to let him know it’s okay to be himself. Looking at the future, Petrino will seek to make a difference in the lives of young children as an elementary school teacher. Once he completes his bachelor’s degree later this year, he plans to attain his master’s in education. “I’m really good with kids,” he says with a smile. He also has recently developed a love for traveling and looks forward to being able to explore the world on summer breaks from school. In the meantime though, Petrino is happy to live in a city where he is accepted, welcomed and loved. He’s happy to spend his days going to UofL and working out and his nights playing with his dog, Lana, and sipping bourbon at Big Bar with friends. And all the while, he doesn’t have to worry about who he is. He can be anything he wants to be and live the life he wants to live, exploring everything and hiding nothing. He’s unsure exactly of what the future holds, but one thing is certain: He will be proud of himself.

September • October 2015 ||| MODERN LOUISVILLE

EVERYMAN’S STORY

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September • October 2015 ||| MODERN LOUISVILLE

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JACOB ELEAZER Blazes a Trail for Transgender Military Service written by A.J. Jones photos by Antonio Pantoja

acob Eleazer has found himself in the spotlight more than once. As a transgender man, activist and captain in the Army National Guard, Eleazer is blazing a trail for transgender military members. Earlier this year, after many months of work with a group of transgender and LGB service members, Eleazer and others talked to senior military administration about the many ways that the ban on transgender service hurts trans people, hurts the military and hurts America. His activism has made national headlines, with both The Washington Post and “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver” featuring him in interviews. Shining a spotlight on the realities faced by transgender people in the military, The Washington Post noted that there are an estimated 15,000 transgender service members, according to the Williams Institute. A military member quoted in the article recommended trans people “stay in the closet.” This is the practical reality of the unpredictable changes in military regulations, Eleazer says. “Folks don’t know where all of the policies will land.” The culmination of Eleazer’s efforts eventually led him to the nation’s capital. “It was

surreal,” Eleazer describes. “I was standing in the men’s bathroom at the White House,” as a transgender man, fully himself. Finally, he had the chance to address the ban on transgender military service with senior officials. A passionate thinker on this issue, Eleazer has been preparing his argument from research as well as first-hand experience. “It’s one thing to separate someone from service because they don’t or can’t do their job. It’s another to kick someone out for who they are,” he asserts. “I don’t know how it’s all going to pan out, but we are making some significant progress.” At that moment in the White House, Eleazer started to sense change was coming. Eleazer is a board member of Servicemembers, Partners, Allies for Respect and

Tolerance for All (SPART*A), a group made up of service members all over the globe supporting one another and creating a community for LGBT people from all branches of the military. Eleazer helps coordinate a chapter of SPART*A that’s building support for transgender people specifically. “Most of us don’t live where we can have a physical community, so a lot of what we do happens in online meetings and message boards,” he explains. Being transgender in the military, according to Eleazer, means that you might be the only one where you are stationed, or it means remaining silent and not knowing of any others because the consequence for speaking out is discharge.

15,500

transgender people

are currently serving in the military *ESTIMATION ACCORDING TO A STUDY IN 2014 BY THE WILLIAMS INSTITUTE

MODERN LOUISVILLE ||| September • October 2015

t ra i l b l a z er Eleazer first became involved in the movement to support trans service members when, as a grad student at the University of Louisville, he attended a 2012 conference in Baltimore called Creating Change. “I learned there that I wasn’t alone, that there were others that wanted to change how the military treated transness.” Operated by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, Creating Change is close to the largest gathering of LGBTQ advocates, educators and activists in America. Over several days, there are hundreds of educational, networking and keynote events, all of which are related to the LGBTQ community. Eleazer asked around to find out what others were doing for service members who were LGB, but he was particularly interested in the “T.” Energized by the conference, Eleazer returned to Louisville with a new set of tools to help transgender people in the military.

I feel like I accomplish so much more now that I’m able to bring my whole self to the mission.” Originally from Lexington, Eleazer started on the path that brought him to trans activism when he attended Eastern Kentucky University. “I found women’s and gender studies there. It opened up a whole world to me,” he remembers. After deciding on his post-graduation path, he landed at the University of Louisville studying for a master’s degree in social work. From there, he went on to the Ph.D. program in counseling psychology, also at UofL, and continued to serve in the Army National Guard. “It’s a struggle for sure. Balancing school and my service, being gone for weeks at a time in the middle of semesters. It’s tough.” “Before, I was married to a cisgender (a person whose gender identity and expression align with their sex assigned at birth), man and I didn’t know what was wrong, but I wasn’t hap38

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py,” Eleazer recalls. “It took a lot of soul-searching and researching, but I started to find the answers and the words for what I felt. Once I started to transition, years after feeling like something was not quite right with me, it was great because even though it’s painful in a way, it has also made me a more compassionate and whole person.” Eleazer decided to transition in the military after years of already living as male and having begun his medical and social transition. “It was rough for a while, but trans people are always going to have that period of transition where everything is awkward,” he describes. “When I started to transition, I was used to being called ‘ma’am’ and to hearing the name I was given at birth. But overtime it became more and more jarring, that switch.” Eleazer came out to his commanding officer in February. He had reached a point he could no longer continue the charade. His commanding officer was generally supportive, and Eleazer continued his military duties as he always had until he was suddenly and unceremoniously released from his job. Later, just as inexplicably, the military overturned that order. “They’ve tried four different times to kick me out,” he says. “I’ve fought each of them. Once it was for the results of an eye exam that I’d never even had!” Still, Eleazer loves serving. “I love my work. I train new recruits. I’ve found my community in the military.” Since coming out to his commanding officers, Eleazer no longer lives a double life, putting his transness aside like a secret identity. “Going back and forth and having to hide not only compromised my integrity but also became a barrier to building authentic relationships with my fellow service members,” he describes. “I feel like I accomplish so much more now that I’m able to bring my whole self to the mission.” Through it all Eleazer has had a great deal of support from mentors from Marta Miranda – the current director of the Center for Women and Families who Eleazer met at Eastern Kentucky University – to his family and friends. “My dad was studying to be a priest when I was young, but I lucked out. He came around fairly quickly. And I always had support from my sisters,” Eleazer says with a smile. Eleazer has found support from other transgender people at UofL and in the city. “It’s different though. It’s great to have a community of trans people, but most of them haven’t been in

the military,” he expresses. “So there’s a gap. I can be with trans people who understand and support me in one way, or I can be around military folks who understand that part of my identity. Those two groups rarely overlap.” Not that they don’t ever coincide, “There are just a handful of other transgender people who are serving or have served that I know in Louisville,” Eleazer relates. “It’s so valuable to have a community, friends, a network of people that can really understand fully who I am because it’s who they are too.” SPART*A’s transgender segment didn’t initially advocate for change to policy. It was a space to find support. And now the group helps members navigate the tricky landscape of accessing

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health care resources. “It’s hard,” Eleazer states. “If you want to talk to someone about your gender identity, it can’t be anyone associated with the military because that’s essentially you coming out. The military will report that since the they provide your health care. So then where do you go?” SPART*A’s transgender segment tries to locate mental health professionals that understand the unique challenges of gender identity and military service. “But even when we find them, they might be hours and cities away from base. It’s another barrier,” he adds. And when things are really tough, like when a member of the group is outed and discharged, very little exists in the way of support. “If you get kicked out,

you lose your job, your home and your military family all at once.” The National Transgender Discrimination Survey by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the National Center for Transgender Equality found that 41 percent of trans people have attempted suicide, nearly nine times the average for cisgender people. Eleazer says that’s not a reflection of trans people but of the unusual hardships they face from the world they live in. Transgender service members can lose everything important to them without warning for trying to live authentically. “We usually just ‘pass the hat’ among the members and try to help the person get somewhere safe while they sort out what they will

do next. It’s sometimes just getting them on a bus to one of our couches,” which, according to Eleazer, occurs on average one to three times a week. The clouds are beginning to part now and Eleazer is hopeful, if cautious. And he’s in good company; Kristen Beck, Shane Ortega and Eleazer have all made headlines for their military service as transgender people. In August, the Obama Administration announced plans to dismantle the military’s trans ban and begin a plan for allowing transgender members to serve openly. “It has taken a long time, and we have lost too many good service members to transphobia,” Eleazer laments. “Now, maybe we won’t lose any more.” MODERN LOUISVILLE ||| September • October 2015 39

lipstick

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. -Katharine Hepburn written by Lori Kay Scott

have two obsessions. One is Katharine Hepburn; the other is lipstick. I don’t leave home without a little Hepburn attitude and a tube of Revlon 740 Red. Ever. Hepburn’s once said, “As one goes through life, one learns that if you don’t paddle your own canoe, you don’t move.” Slap a little lipstick on and add a great pair of trousers, and there you have it: me. When Hepburn started making it big in the movie business, she hired a men’s tailor to make her custom-fitted suits. Undoubtedly, some graduate student somewhere has written a master’s thesis about Katharine Hepburn and her pants. Did this mean she wanted to be a man? No. Did she rock those suits like a sexy Hollywood actor? Yes. Was she a “lipstick lesbian”? Well, let’s discuss that. What does that mean exactly? I think one of Hepburn’s greatest achievements was her complete overhaul of traditional notions of femininity. She refused to be labeled, prompting much speculation around her personal sexual preferences. When people ask me if I think she was gay, I tell them the same thing I tell them about myself: I don’t like labels. Never have. When asked how I “came out,” I tell them I never have. I never felt that I needed to. I was just doing my own thing. I’ve loved some truly wonderful men and some truly wonderful women. I can’t deny that the latter is what “stuck,” but it’s only been a small part of the whole package. We fall in love with people, not labels. We love who we love. Things are are not the same as they were in Hepburn’s time. Identifying publicly as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender in most cases won’t end a Hollywood career or even an ordinary career like mine. But when a good friend once asked me to attend an event for Feast for Equality, an organization that helps LGBT students who lose vital financial support needed for their educations by being open and honest about their sexual orientations, I hesitated as I usually did when asked to support or go to events that were focused on sexual orientation. 40

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I was 40 years old, but just not there yet. Although my heart went out to these young people, I wasn’t sure that I wanted to be that open about my own life. By some miracle, I did attend, and I realized how “passing” as straight and never identifying with this part of my life was really rather selfish. Looking in the students’ eyes, I could feel their pain and need for acceptance. They did want to feel proud of being gay, and they wanted to hear the stories of someone like me – an older person, a businesswoman, a mother of three, a person who had come to support them. This experience changed my attitude. I had stayed under the radar to make other people feel comfortable, but the tables had turned. Now I had a reason to tell my story.

“We fall in love with people, not labels.

We love who we love.” Thanks to Tracy Blue and Modern Louisville, we now have a voice not only for those of us who have lived most of our lives as LGBT persons but also for those who are still scared, confused or rejected. We luckily live in an era where we can redefine the traditional rules that society has pinned upon us. As Katharine Hepburn often said, “If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” ILLUSTRATION OF KATHARINE HEPBURN BY CAROLINE WILSON

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com mu n ity

INVISIBLE HISTORY Rowan County, Christianity and the Right to Marry

written by Nicole Troxell

union is more profound than mar“riage, for ito embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice and family. In forming a marital union, two people can become greater than they once were,” wrote Justice Anthony Kennedy on June 26, 2015, the day the LGBTQ community celebrated the right to now “become greater than they once were.” Kentucky couples joined the celebration, and many tied the knot, some having waited decades, some with children both small and fully grown, some with long-established familial roots in the state. The Louisville Convention &

Visitors Bureau welcomed the news by launching “Say ‘I Do’ in Lou” to encourage same-sex and transgender marriage. Its campaign went viral and stood in stark contrast to the events in Rowan County that followed the Supreme Court ruling. David Moore and his fiancé David Ermold reluctantly became part of those events. The couple was seeking that “highest ideal of love” when they applied for a marriage license and were denied by Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis. Davis, a clerk for 27 years in the county and an Apostolic Christian, claimed in her testimony

she “prayed and fasted” over her decision to deny marriage licenses to gay couples, citing it as a violation of her religious beliefs. A woman confirmed by Lexington’s station WKYT to have been married four times, Davis is part of a denomination of Christianity that condemns divorce. However, Davis has not denied a marriage license to couples who have previously divorced. Davis’ actions spurred the creation of the Rowan County Rights Coalition, which, according to RCRC representative Quincy Swain, was formed to “uphold the rights of the citizens of Rowan County.” MODERN LOUISVILLE ||| September • October 2015 43

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Even though he is from Louisville, Swain, a student at Morehead State University, didn’t hesitate to join RCRC. “I got involved with the RCRC as an activist,” Swain says. “I heard of the injustice in my town, and I felt the need to stand up for what I thought was right because I would want someone to stand up for me if there was an injustice against me. The RCRC is peacefully protesting.” The group has started a petition online to remove Davis from office, which has more than 5,700 signatures on the document. The mood in Morehead is still peaceful. There are locals and students showing up for support between classes and on lunch breaks and days off. Anna Rucker, an RCRC supporter and Louisville resident, got involved with the group because Morehead is her hometown. “I became involved when I learned that some of my dear friends, loving couples who’ve been in committed relationships for years, were denied marriage licenses in Rowan County. While Louisville is now my home, I was born and raised in Rowan County, and because of my relationship with community members and family still living there, this feels personal.” The group made it known to community and 44

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local officials that they “would not acquiesce while a single person’s beliefs occlude the Constitutional rights of all citizens, especially when we’re talking about a tax-paid, elected official who vowed to uphold the Constitution and to serve all citizens in the community,” Rucker said, adding that the RCRC “organized to bring the community together, to ask for officials to uphold the First and 14th Amendments for all citizens and stand against the few who have twisted the First Amendment to claim they can discriminate based on religious views.” The evolution of marriage This isn’t the first time Christians have used the Bible to argue contentious issues. U.S. history shows us that some Christians of the past referred to the Bible to argue for slavery, against interracial marriage and, today, against same-sex marriage. But if the history of marriage and Christianity tells us anything, it’s that both have changed. Christians have gone from burning people at the stake for alleged sins to, in some denominations, supporting gay marriage. And marriage has changed just as drastically. It predates recorded history as well as

Christianity. It has progressed from being an institution that for thousands of years merely served as a means for passing on wealth, property, privileges and gender roles to a statement of a relationship based on love and choice. Young people once had to fight for the right to choose their spouse and oppose the standard arranged marriage that ruled their lives up to late 18th century, according to author Stephanie Coontz in her article “The Real Marriage Revolution.” The article is part of Ohio State University’s Department of History Origins project, an online catalog of articles linking current events to their historical roots. Origins author Fred Nielsen wrote in 2012 about the role Christianity has played in denying rights. He notes in his article “Slavery, Gay Rights, and the Bible,” that opponents of both gay marriage and defenders of slavery have at least one thing in common: They used Bible verses to argue human and civil rights. The same is true for the Christians who railed against interracial marriage, legalized in 1967. But abolitionists, as Nielsen pointed out, also quoted the Bible to support their arguments, as did supporters of interracial marriage and, again, same-sex marriage. However, former slave and abolitionist Frederick Douglass saw drawing ties between rights and

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A Letter from David Moore to Modern Louisville…

People who identify as LGBTQI (especially I have lived in Kentucky for 39 years, and my partner moved here in 1998. act so that they can function within their those living in the South), learn to compromise who they are and how they directed at us. Sometimes it is subtle, community. We learn to accept discrimination, bigotry, intolerance and hatred feel uncomfortable. We also fear resometimes blatant. We accept it as a part of “fitting in” and not making others ers we were single to avoid potential percussions. My partner and I have told landlords we were cousins and employ problems.

relationship. You avoid sharing the simple Over time, it adds up and erodes part of your self-worth and damages your partner and I decided long ago that we fact of loving your partner, and you end up marginalizing your own life. My that only became possible in Kentucky on wanted the full legal rights of a married couple in the state we lived in, and ky in my lifetime. Now that it is legal, June 26, 2015. I did not think it would become legal and recognized in Kentuc our rights and our beliefs even though the one person has decided the beliefs she holds dear are more important than law says otherwise. ge licenses to murderers, rapists, When we spoke with Kim Davis, I said to her “You have undoubtedly given marria e: “But those licenses were for a wife beaters, child molesters, etc. Are we somehow worse than that?” Her respons to all those things in the eyes of many man and a woman.” So yes, LGBTQI people are somehow worse or at least equal this part of the country. who share her beliefs, and I’ve always known it to be so while growing up in that discussion with Kim, I felt sub-huDuring the time we spent in the County Clerk’s office and in the moment of that perhaps she would change her mind. man, humiliated and degraded. I thought if we could talk to her face-to-face law. Instead, she confirmed our status as Perhaps, she would see us as people who deserve equal treatment under the outside to tell my coworkers what had second-class citizens in her eyes. I could feel the tears forming when I walked those 39 years of “fitting in” crushing me. just happened. My partner was angry and crying. I could feel the weight of county we call home, we will be looking When we look back at the experience of obtaining a marriage license in the couples of a normally joyous occasion back on an event that was painful and degrading. She robbed us and the other what gender they identify as when they and stripped us of our human dignity. Couples are no longer required to state business and one less intrusion into a apply for a marriage license - the forms are now gender-neutral. It is no one’s s beliefs on others. I refuse to apologize couple’s privacy. I refuse to allow people like Kim Davis to impose their religiou “love the sinner, but hate the sin” which for or accept religious bigotry and just “fit in.” I refuse to accept phrases like It is not a compliment but rather a conis often used to describe a religious person’s acceptance of LGBTQI people. relationship and seeking a legal marriage. demnation. My partner and I are committing no sin by being in a committed in pursuit of the same happiness that LGBTQI people are committing no sin by merely existing and living their lives everyone else seeks. to get a license as a “mere inconvenience.” In response to our lawsuit, Kim’s lawyer described going to another county been spent in Rowan county in the house My partner and I have been together for 17 years, and 11 of those years have license when it is legal in the county we we own and pay taxes on. We will not go to another county to get a marriage they are not welcome here. That is not live, work and shop in. Telling people to go to another county is telling people if the local government does not resolve representative of the community we have been a part of in Rowan county, but g on our fight so that other couples will not this issue, it is what Rowan and Morehead will be known for. We are carryin nt to everyone under the law. have to go through what we did and clerks in every county will give equal treatme David V. Moore

MODERN LOUISVILLE ||| September • October 2015 45

co m mun ity religion as problematic. Slavery and Christianity were irreconcilable. Douglass stressed instead that the spirit of the Bible is one of inclusiveness, as many Christians claim today. Douglass wrote more than 170 years ago, “He who is the religious advocate of marriage robs whole millions of its sacred influence.” Though Douglass was referring to masters and slaves, his argument is evidence of Christianity’s long history using the Bible to determine rights, Nielsen observes. Christian slaveholders once argued that the Bible and, in fact, God himself deemed slave ownership a divine right by referencing verses like Leviticus 25:44-46: “Both thy bondmen, and thy bondmaids, which thou shalt have, shall be of the heathen that are round about you; of them shall ye buy bondmen and bondmaids. Moreover of the children the strangers that do sojourn among you, of them shall ye buy, and of their families that are with you, which they begat in your land: and they shall be your possession...” Former slaveholder Thomas Dew who, according to Nielsen, referenced the above verse to justify slavery, also said, “When we turn to the New Testament, we find not one single passage at all calculated to disturb the conscience of an honest slaveholder.” Religious liberty was further cited to uphold bans on interracial marriage in Alabama, Virginia and Indiana, and to support residential segregation and segregated colleges in Kentucky, according to Ian Millhiser in his article “When ‘Religious Liberty’ Was Used To Justify Racism Instead Of Homophobia.” The quote, “Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it,” by poet and philosopher George Santayana rings loudly in Rowan County as Kim Davis rushes to the wrong side of history, her religion in tow. Davis was granted a stay while she appeals District Judge David L. Bunning’s August decision ordering her to issue state marriage licenses to all couples in Miller v. Davis. Davis will likely be revered as a hero by a small minority for a while. Then, just maybe, she’ll earn her place in history, or maybe she’ll disappear into the ether of forgettable faces, drowned in history by other events, until another one like her pops up again, railing and repeating the same actions of the invisible historical figures before her. Whatever becomes of Davis and her plight, history tells us, based on Justice Kennedy’s now famous paragraph, that “the constitution grants them that right” – the right to equal dignity, love, respect, recognition, devotion, sacrifice, family and the chance to become something greater than before. “The judgement of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is reversed,” in turn reversing a future of indignity in the eyes of the law. “It is so ordered,” Kennedy finally wrote. LGBTQ people continue to break with tradition, bringing into question the meaning of love and marriage, and allow us to rethink how we see gender, sex, family and relationships. Here at Modern Louisville, we want to be on the right side of history by addressing these challenges in upcoming issues. We celebrate marriage equality in our first issue with a display of wedding photos that demonstrate love between two people. There is no more “gay marriage,” no more “same-sex marriage;” there is only marriage. It is so ordered. 46

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LOUISVILLE PRIDE FESTIVAL written by Remy Sisk photos by Antonio Pantoja

o you remember that little pride festival in the Highlands last June? Leading up to the Kentuckiana Pride Festival, Highlands Pridefest was held June 5-7 and featured a professional collaboration by The Back Door, Big Bar, Highlands Tap Room Grill, Chill Bar Highlands and Nowhere Bar. It was so well-received, in fact, that it spawned a pride organization that’s making its debut this year – the Louisville Pride Foundation. The foundation’s mission is to “promote Louisville as one community that celebrates diversity, fosters inclusion for all and embraces gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer people and their allies.” Thomas Carrier, chairman of the board, looks back on Highlands

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Pridefest with fondness and appreciation for what it started. “It was the first time [these businesses] banded together and advertised together in such a public way,” he recalls. “The response from the community was excitement over the revelation of what can be achieved when a group of businesses that were once considered staunch competitors vying for a small segment of the population worked together to create something greater.” Carrier wasn’t involved in the planning of Highlands Pridefest but reached out to its organizers once it was over in hopes of being part of planning the next year’s event. As it would happen, there was no one really in charge, so he

found himself as the concept’s central director. Carrier and the former organizers thus began forming a board and commissioned a logo. The logo is set; its design features a rainbow rendering of the Louisville skyline with subtle lines symbolically connecting all people of the city. The board is also in place, currently comprised of six members with six separate committee chairs. Thus, including committee members, the foundation of 30 is ready to make its public debut. The Louisville Pride Foundation’s inaugural event will be the Louisville Pride Festival, taking place September 19, 2015, on Bardstown Road from Grinstead Drive to Beechwood Avenue. “The support and participation from the

com mu n ity city has allowed us to put on a top-tier pride event even though it is our first year,” Carrier contends. In addition to several local entertainers and DJs, the festival will feature performances by the pop duo and YouTube sensation Karmin as well as openly gay singer-songwriter Steve Grand. There will also be three bars, a beer garden and food trucks aplenty. For the family, there’s a family fun zone filled with engaging and educational activities for children. All of this operates around an art installation that illustrates the concept of pride in the community since its inception. “It’s an interactive central installation that depicts the history of pride even before the turning point of Stonewall,” Carrier explains. “And how pride has grown to be much more than a memorial of Stonewall since that time. Pride now means something different to all of us. Pride is now celebrated not just in June but in every month in cities across the country.” Although it already has the population buzzing with anticipation, many have expressed confusion about this pride festival versus the 15-year-old Kentuckiana Pride Festival, put on by the Kentuckiana Pride Foundation every June. “In our missions we certainly have more in common than not,” Carrier describes of the two foundations. “It’s important to note that many cities have multiple pride organizations that have slightly different focuses … The most obvious difference [between us] is that our main event is in the setting of a neighborhood street festival as opposed to being downtown. We want our event to be a fun and inviting forum for the community at large to engage with the LGBT community while also being a learning experience for everyone.” Prior to the formation of Louisville Pride’s board last year, Carrier sat down with Rodney Coffman, the director of Kentuckiana Pride Festival, to hammer out how the two organizations could work in tandem. “We pledged our support for each other’s organizations from the very beginning, and they have been a huge help ever since,” Carrier says. He certainly counts himself lucky to have the support of this historic foundation and genuinely appreciates what Kentuckiana Pride has done for the community. “Over the last 15 years, they have created an event that provides a safe and inviting place for the LGBT community to express itself freely,” Carrier explains of the Kentuckiana Pride

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Louisville Pride Foundation Board Members Dave Mattingly, Ronda Sharp, Rowdy Whitworth, Thomas Carrier and Omicah House. Not pictured: Kevin Bryan.

Festival. “Especially during times when that was very difficult in Louisville and in many places still is.” Given recent statistics, it’s really no surprise Louisville has multiple pride organizations. Condé Nast Traveler named Louisville one of six “Underrated American Cities for LGBT Travelers” in September 2014, and a March 2015 Gallup poll cited Louisville as one of “America’s Gayest Cities.” Although it will certainly be a massive celebration and inevitably attract thousands – Carrier anticipates well over 7,500 – Louisville Pride is about much more than a street party. “For our goal as a foundation, we focus on education about what is going on in our community,” he maintains. “We believe the conversations that have happened with our neighbors, relatives, co-workers and friends is what has turned popular opinion in favor of marriage equality in such a relatively short period of time.” By bringing the LGBTQ community together and creating a festival that engages with the city as a whole, Louisville Pride strives to improve the richness and interconnectedness of the city. Furthermore, the Louisville Pride Foundation plans on using funds raised by the festival to support organizations that fit within the foundation’s mission. One beneficiary is the Louisville Visual Arts Open Doors program, an umbrella program of classes and art enrichment experiences designed to give a voice 52

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to underserved populations, including at-risk youth, refugees and immigrants, senior citizens, victims of domestic abuse and more. Another beneficiary is the Louisville Youth Group, a community resource dedicated to providing LGBTQ youth ages 14 through 20 a safe and supportive environment and encouraging them to be happy, healthy and responsible members and leaders in the community. To promote the festival, a grassroots wristband campaign is currently in the works. Louisville Pride is selling a colorful wristband in the weeks leading up to the event, and such local businesses as Sandy’s Pet Shop, Salon Bacco, William Deans Salon, Kashmir, O’Shea’s, Bearno’s, B CHIC Consignments, Ethyl 3.9, Joy Luck and more are offering discounts through September 20 when patrons wear the wristband. “This gives businesses an opportunity to show their support by offering a promotion for their business while at the same time helping the Louisville Pride Foundation raise money,” Carrier explains of the campaign. Wristbands are currently available at louisvillepride.com and at other participating businesses. Additionally, the Louisville Pride Festival is part of the Louisville Convention & Visitors Bureau’s “Say ‘I Do’ in Lou” campaign. The contest was created to highlight Louisville as a welcoming city for LGBTQ weddings and encourage anyone and everyone to consider

saying “I do” here in town. Couples of any orientation were able to enter a video contest that ran through mid-August to win a complete destination wedding to Louisville (or a hometown wedding should the winning couple be from Louisville). The prize package is valued at more than $20,000 and includes airfare, limo transportation, music, flowers, wedding coordinator services, photography, videography, décor and more. The winning couple will be married September 19 on the deck of 8UP Elevated Drinkery & Kitchen with the reception to follow at the Louisville Pride Festival, touted as the “World’s Largest Wedding Reception.” Christa Ritchie of the Louisville Convention & Visitors Bureau is delighted about the partnership. “It’s just a brand new event and tied in perfectly with the welcoming of LGBT couples to Louisville,” she explains. “And the timing was really perfect.” Ritchie looks forward to showing the rest of the nation how diverse Louisville is via the “Say ‘I Do’ in Lou” campaign. “I hope it shows that Louisville is inclusive and that everybody can come here and find fun things to do,” she offers. Carrier is ecstatic to be a part of the campaign, which he says “makes me proud to live in Louisville” and also looks forward to bringing Louisville and its diversity to national attention. He’s especially thrilled because the concept behind the campaign aligns perfectly with that of his foundation. “Louisville Pride is focused on showcasing Louisville as one community,” he explains. “Our goal is to be a forum for both the LGBT community and anyone else who wants to celebrate our city’s unique diversity. We plan to create a fun way to learn about the city we live in and the many programs, artists and organizations that make our home a wonderful place to live.” Although Carrier and his team are working overtime to make this year’s festival a success, he has a keen eye on the future. “I hope to see the foundation engaging more and more people every year and benefiting more and more organizations,” he describes of the years to come for Louisville Pride. “The foundation’s mission is to create interconnectivity in a city that is very segregated yet very rich with a diverse culture. It is my hope that as the festival grows, we will team up with other organizations to create a series of events the week of the festival and throughout the year that push this mission forward.”

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“For our goal as a foundation, we focus on education about what is going on in our community.”

Back Row: Amelia Runyon, David Finn, Kathi Kloepfer, Rowdy Whitworth, Patrick Berry, Todd Mercier, Dominic Duvall and Jaison Gardner. Middle Row: Ronda Sharp, Michael Garton, Thomas Carrier and Jessica Bellamy. Front Row: Dave Mattingly, Omicah House and Jason Crowder.