WALLY STREET JOURNAL #16
Contents World Challenge………………………………………………………………4 Woman…………………………………………………………………………………………9 The Statue Debate………………………………………………………10 Data Dialectology………………………………………………………12 Labels are for Losers……………………………………………14 Climate Change………………………………………………………………16 The History of Wingdings…20 Honesty isn’t the Best Policy………………………22 Infinite Basil, Exponential Basil……………24 Phases……………………………………………………………………………………30
A month of trekking through foreign plains, toiling away on a dusty mountainside and tanning on the beach: my July 2019 was a unique and maybe even character-defining trip, a skyscraper of a memory that I hope to never forget. So, after a lost-tent-pole fiasco, two lengthy plane rides and a short car journey, our intrepid group of 17 arrived at our first campsite in South Africa, just outside the city of Johannesburg, where we gratefully ate, showered and slept, unaware that this would be the last time for a long while when a hearty, hot cooked dinner would be served to us on such clean plates. The first stage of our itinerary was a three-day long trek across an unexpectedly stunning landscape; dry grass and massive, furrowed rocks paved the way, while as the Sun set we made our way to our first base where we would be wild camping, on a raised patch of land by the river. However charming the image may seem, our first night of cooking on an open fire was in fact both arduous and stressful, as we spent hours at work only to end up with two kilos of overcooked spaghetti, a meal I can only describe as wet and yeasty and not altogether pleasant. Anyway, the remainder of the trek was eminently enjoyable, though
physically challenging, and at its conclusion we were rewarded by the oasis that was Rock Lodge – think massive wooden tree house but instead of trees, a group of sizeable boulders, with unbelievable views, especially from the little toilet on the outdoor ledge. After the trek our next main engagement was our community project in Eswatini, personally my favourite week of the trip. Though the days were repetitive and tiring, for me the project was doubly enjoyable, in that as a group the final sense of achievement was very special, and also in that the children we talked to and played with seemed to love having us as much as we wanted to be there. By the end of our time there, we managed to finish the construction of a toilet block, paint the two rooms of the community centre and even out some of the land surrounding the building. On our final night, possibly the best night of the month, the local women cooked us some of their delicious cuisine, we cooked them some of our pretty bland rice, and we said goodbye through sharing food and kind words, as well as some traditional Swazi dancing. A woeful farewell occurred the next morning as well, when we braced ourselves for trek number 2, whilst also eagerly anticipating the prospect of an actual shower that evening, since the only bodily cleaning that had taken place in the past five days were ‘wet wipe showers’, which, it transpires, are not particularly effective. The most prominent memory of our second hike is undoubtedly our first night: we set up camp in one of the most picturesque, otherworldly locations of the trip – wild camping in the company of endless hills and mountains, under the shelter of the Milky Way at night – and spent a whole night being battered by raging gales that shook our tents and even collapsed the tent of our guides. Nevertheless, we continued on our way the next morning and all managed to scale the mountain, from which again we were privy to
unimaginable vistas, of the mountainous land and distant South Africa, where we were headed for the next few days, which were to be spent driving around Kruger National Park. I genuinely treasure my memories of Kruger – I hadn’t expected that this part of the experience would stand out so much, and have such a profound impact on me. Upon entering the park in the company of our trusty and seriously knowledgeable guide Arthur, after a matter of mere minutes we saw a giraffe, the first of many incredible animals that we would be lucky enough to see over the next two days. To list all of the animals we encountered would take some time, so to name a few: there were lions, leopards, cheetahs, monkeys, wildebeest, buffalo, zebra, rhinos and hippos. Honestly, I can’t effectively put into words the exhilaration of being so close to these animals in their natural habitat, it’s a rush of adrenaline like no other. I store those days in a place of my brain reserved for the most important memories. We’d done so much, and we hadn’t even got to Mozambique yet! Maputo, Mozambique’s capital, was our next brief stay, on the way to our marine project in the village of Tofo, located on the Eastern coast of the country. Despite being so close to Eswatini, it’s fair to say that Mozambique had a character that was very distinct to its neighbouring country: there were the more obvious differences like the much warmer temperatures and greener vegetation, but also the more implicit, like its violent history and slight sense of unsettledness. Nevertheless, our experience was eminently positive, almost paradisiacal, and equally worthy of attention. Tofo was a lovely place, composed of idyllic beaches, a vibrant market with several cafes and restaurants, not to mention the numerous scuba centres along the coast. Each day, we went out on ocean safari, which I loved almost as much as our time at Kruger. Again, we felt the thrill of seeing animals free to roam as they pleased, just this time in the context of the capricious waters and mysterious veil of blue that reveals its jewels only when it chooses.
During these outings we got to see humpbacked whales and dolphins and the absolute pinnacle was when we managed to swim with the dolphins, in a transitory moment of sheer elation. And finally, we got to Vilanculos, a town of similar character slightly north of Tofo, where we basked in a final two days of rest and relaxation. On one of the days we rode a boat out to Bazaruto island, on which we could traverse the extensive sand dunes and from which we were able to snorkel, to see the incredible shapes and colours of the coral and its fish. Both mornings there I awoke early to the various sounds of the animals around, wandered down to the edge of camp and watched the Sun over the beach, feeling infinitely content in a moment of valuable solitude, noticing the soothing ceramic of a mug of tea beneath my fingertips and trying to absorb and cherish as much as I could the concluding hours of tranquillity of the best trip of my life, both lamenting and yearning for our return to home and normality. We did get home eventually, after a journey that felt so much longer than the one that took us there, where we embraced the hard-missed comforts of home, like being able to shower in our own showers and sleep in our own beds. I think I now have a greater appreciation of life at home, though readjusting to a slower pace of living took some time. All in all, I had an utterly brilliant time and would do it again in a heartbeat. Not only do I feel the trip was a welcome break from the constancy and rigours of life in education, but also a font of inspiration and outlet for personal creativity. I also certainly have an increased sense of wanderlust and am excited about wherever it is my future travels take me. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about my World Challenge experience, Sarita :)
clockwise from top: view from Rock Lodge; beach at Tofo; sunrise over Vilanculos; lion at Kruger Background photo: Phayo, a young boy from the community project
WOMAN
REARRANGE MYSELF FOR YOU
I AM A WOMAN
I AM A CHINA DOLL
AND BY WOMAN I MEAN
WAITING FOR YOU TO SMASH ME
SMALL COMPACTABLE I MEAN EASY TO PICK UP TO THROW DOWN TO TEAR INTO TWO I AM A WOMAN AND WOMAN IS A PART OF ME LIKE THE BODY OR THE SOUL EXCEPT IT IS THE WOMAN THE ESSENCE THE TATTOO I BEAT ON THE TABLE THE PIT AT THE
FOR WOMANHOOD
SO I HAVE TO SHED MYSELF FOR A WEEK EXCEPT THE REST OF THE MONTH
WOMAN REVERTS TO GIRL SO IS BLOOD-STAINED NONETHELESS IF YOU AREN’T ATTRACTED TO MATURITY I WONDER IF YOU KNOW
KNOW I CAN PLAY GAMES
THE SHAPE OF MY SKIN
CAPTURE THE HAG
BENEATH ALL OF THE
TIC-TAC-HOE
RED CLOTS
WINK MURDER
I WONDER IF YOU KNOW OF THE MEN BENEATH
I AM A WOMAN WHICH IS THE SAME THING AS VICTIM MY FEET ARE
EACH WOUND ON MY FLESH I AM A WOMAN I DON’T KNOW EVERY WOMAN
CALLUSED
BUT I KNOW EVERY FROM RUNNING HOME IN WOMAN’S STORY IT WAS DARK THE DARK IT WAS DAYLIGHT
BOTTOM OF MY STOMACH I AM A WOMAN I SPENT YEARS WAITING
TO MAKE EVE EAT AN APPLE
IT WAS UNREPORTED
A WORD WHICH PRECEDES IT WAS OVERTURNED ‘MISSING’ IT WAS NO BIG DEAL
BUT NOW I SCREAM AT MY TOO NICE TO SAY NO IT WAS ASKING FOR IT BREASTS WOMAN MISSING IT WAS BELLY UP BURN THEM FROM MY THIS BITCH SAID NO CHEST GUTS OUT FEEL SAFE ON THE WALK WOMAN MISSING RIBS CRUSHED HOME WON’T MAKE RENT IF I SAY THROAT SLIT NO BRA RIPPED I AM A WOMAN WOMAN MISSING HEAD SHOT DON’T LET THE FINALITY OF WOMAN
I AM A WOMAN
BLOOD SPILLED
SCARE YOU
AND GOD PLANTED
WOMAN.
I CAN LOP BITS OFF
A DEMON
MOVE FAT AROUND
- Dana Collins
A Commemorative Controversy Statues are littered all across the world. London in particular is known for hundreds of thousands of them, memorialising figures whom we (I use this ambiguously because I know that not everybody endorses these people) deem to be important. It’s a little strange: craning your neck to look up at a victorious general from centuries ago, or a racist imperialist, or a freedom fighter. In some people’s eyes, the achievements of Churchill, for example, were extraordinary; in other’s eyes, he was a criminal. Perspective is everything, and that makes it difficult to erect monuments: if we keep putting up statues to make everyone content, we will run out of space, but if we take them all down, we’re causing even more problems. In fact, statues and memorials have been causing controversy across the world, not just here. If you’ve studied GCSE recently you will probably remember Cecil Rhodes: an unpalatable and fervent imperialist who was the centre of a debate at Oriel College, Oxford. Students wanted to remove his statue, as part of a movement for the university to combat racial discrimination in the curriculum and in admissions. Yes, the statue may have remained, but it brought to light the problem of who we choose to remember.
Then we have the violence in Charlottesville, Virginia in 2016. Somebody was killed and many injured because they wanted the removal of a statue of Robert E Lee, a Confederate general who fought on the side of slavery during the American Civil War. People were hurt and killed by supremacists, because they felt uncomfortable and intimidated by this statue – and rightly so. To make matters worse, this statue was erected in 1924 in a blackmajority town, when racism was still ubiquitous. It’s not so much the statue but the fact that figures like Lee are still venerated that is the problem. Bringing the statue down would mean we are confronting changing perspectives, and that we are acknowledging that the legacies of figures are temporary, making debates for other statues much more tedious. But it isn’t just the presence of statues that causes an issue. The absence of them is just as contentious. There is an entire Wikipedia page dedicated to the geographical locations of statues of Queen Victoria, but what about Mary Seacole, or Harriet Jacobs, or the people we really look up to? Something that I’ve gathered from studying history is that we’re quite ignorant, with respect to what we actually learn. Popular education is focused around quite a small group of topics: there are an estimated 50 TV shows about WWII alone each year. I’m not undermining how important and devastating this war was, but why are we so obsessed about it? Is it because we ‘won’, and we are the moral victors? This sounds about right. Or maybe we just don’t want to learn about history that makes us uncomfortable. Or in fact, is the whole debate futile? I don’t often walk around London avidly noticing statues, and when I do, I just pass them by. Maybe not everybody does. Though is there even a need for us to memorialise people on public display, and on the streets? It seems like we only notice them when they’re the centre of debate, and when we’re talking about certain people. Perhaps statues should stay in museums, or maybe they should remain on the streets: wherever they lie, they’ll always be a source of contention.
DATA DIALECTOLOGY By Louise Ng Fong Tiao -
What is it and why is it important?
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Using Twitter to collect our data
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Professor Jack Grieve’s findings
Until recently, finding out about variation in how people speak- whether that be regional differences, age differences, or anything else along those lines- was done through surveys. Dialectologists (people that study these differences) used to have to travel around the country interviewing people they saw to interview people face-to-face; they had to ask specific questions in order to find out what words they more likely to use. For example, whether they used the word couch or sofa. Although this method worked perfectly well, a disadvantage was that it became very costly and time consuming. For this reason, it was not practical to carry out this type of survey. Even data collected two years ago seems recent, but in an everevolving field of study, this is considered fairly outdated; it is no longer relevant or current enough to use. Fortunately, the era of the Internet has made this task simpler, and to be quite frank, a lot cheaper. There are new ways of finding out about language variation, the most popular of which being the use of social media. These days, we can actually use Twitter to examine these differences. In the past, the surveyors interviewed more people from older generations, which showed less accurate representations of the region’s dialect. What Twitter can do more efficiently is gather more up-to-date data, which best depicts regional differences in speech. After collecting the raw data, the lexical variation (variation in the words people choose to use to describe a given concept) is tracked, in order to see whether there are differences in the . use of people’s language in different places
Professor Jack Grieve from the University of Birmingham carried out several studies of his own in 2015, the most interesting of which showed the use of particular swear words in the different states of America. After sharing his results on Twitter, they went viral, and he had several articles written about him. The majority of these articles explained the collection of his data in great depth with complex terminology, but below is a brief summary detailing how he actually collated his data. First, he collected tweets from every state in America, and sorted them all by county. He then measured the relative frequency of each swear word using Zipf’s Law. Zipf’s Law states that the frequency of any word is inversely proportional to its rank in the frequency table (i.e. if a word appears once every 50 words, then its rank in the frequency table must be 50). By doing this, we can control the number of tweets seen from each county. If we were to take into account every single tweet, we would essentially create a population density map. The technology behind this next step is pretty complicated, and is called “Getis-Ord Gi local spatial correlation”. In essence, the program can be used to identify where a word is more or less popular, and creates clusters according to this. In the images used throughout this article, the areas in orange depict where certain words are utilised more, and the blue represents where the word is less frequently used. A certain F-word - To the left, we have one of Grieve’s most famous maps, showing where the Fword is the most commonly used in the US. We can see that it is heavily concentrated on the coasts of America. This is interesting, as this correlates to the voting maps for the 2016 Presidential Election. Studies show that people on the coast actually tended to vote more for Hillary Clinton, which follows the same pattern as people more likely to use the F-word. The blue parts on the map here also correspond to the states that leant more towards voting for Donald Trump, where “Crap” is the more commonly used swear word.
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Additional sources: http://www.icge.co.uk/languagesciencesblog/?p=933 https://www.bustle.com/articles/98398-these-swearword-maps-by-jack-grieve-show-which-states-likewhich-curse-words-the-most https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/which-cursewords-are-popular-in-yourstate_us_55a80662e4b04740a3df54b8?ri18n=true&guc counter=1 FutureLearn Course: Introduction to Linguistics
LABELS ARE FOR LOSERS I am 196 pounds, 14 stone, size 22. I have been bullied my whole life for something that I have: fat. I get the dirty, disgusted, embarrassed, pitiful and amused looks, the awful sniggers, the purposely painful whispers that are loud enough for me to hear, and the comments like, ‘I’m glad I’m not her, or I think I would kill myself ’. And I sometimes wonder how I am still here right now, living a life that’s not really worth living. Every day of going to school is like I am volunteering for torment and hostility just for the way I look. I can put make up on, do my hair nicely, wear the trendiest clothes. But they never make a difference to how people truly see me. Unfortunately, the first thing people think when they see me is ‘Oh, she’s massive’. I am just the fat friend. Though I don’t have many friends because they all burn underneath the pressure, the stares that people give them since they’re hanging around ‘a girl like that’. They end up leaving me. No one cares that I have a personality, or that I am even a person. It wouldn’t matter that I’m smart or talented or a kind person who has a big heart, even though it’s been harshly cracked along the way. All they see is a girl who is overweight, and they want nothing to do with her. The truth is everyone has fat on their bodies, they need it. Having it doesn’t make you who you are. It doesn’t define who you’re going to be. It’s depressing that there are 171, 476 words in the English language but we all get labelled with only one of them. Whether it’s skinny, fat, ugly or dumb. I don’t get that. I never have and I shouldn’t have to either. And you know what, labels are for losers.
I used to hate my body. The stretch marks, the chubbiness, my thighs, the pimple scars, my nose shape, the whole package. So not only did I hate my body, but I hated my face. I was repulsed by every inch of what I saw in the mirror. So, I tried to hide my pain and sadness with makeup. Use that as a way of making myself feel secure, feel confident and good about myself. But it didn’t work. It just made me feel like I wasn’t good enough and that I would never be pretty because I was so reliant on it; I thought that it made me beautiful. My mum said I looked beautiful with or without it. But I didn’t believe her. I thought I needed it, I thought it would solve my body weight issues. It did nothing. Makeup wouldn’t solve my problems because I had to. I had to be confident in how I looked, I had to stand up for myself and not just pretend like there was nothing wrong, or that people weren’t saying trash about me. I had to stop being a lemon and get off my butt and do something about my problems, or I’d be a miserable wreck my entire life. And that is not a good look, if I may say so myself. The most important thing is that I needed to change my mentality. I had to tell myself that you don’t have to be thin or slim to be healthy and fit. You can be even healthier than someone who is thinner than you. I had to remember that. I had to remember that a bright personality outshines the way you look and that you should be proud of whatever you look like, and you feel you’re best when you are your healthiest. It’s a little over-said but I can tell you it is a verifiable claim that you need to carry with you for the rest of your life. Because if you don’t feel good in your body, you won’t be fully happy. And I know it isn’t easy and it takes time. But once you get there, you’ll be glad that you made a change to the way you think. You will realise that you are valued and that you are perfectly made whether you have a disability, deformity, a scar or a unique feature. Your life is completely worth living and it gets better and better as time goes on. So don’t give up hope or give up strength whatever the task you have to face is. You’ll make it, I believe in you. By Jannah Abdul – Wadud 10 Curie
CLIMATE CHANGE
“The world today is very fragile and it’s our duty to do everything to unite the people and nations to remind them that we don’t have a Planet B.” Viacheslav Fetisov, UN Environment Patron for the Polar Regions
AN URGENT MATTER
Climate change: a long change in the Earth’s climate, especially in the increase of the temperature of the Earth’s atmosphere - that’s how Cambridge Dictionary describes it. In my eyes, it’s a lot more complicated than a simple 14-word definition. It’s two words on which our existence depends on our beautiful planet, called Earth.
In 2008, Ed Miliband, then the Secretary of State for Climate Change and Energy, presented a bill to Parliament that proposed that the rates of climate change and energy emissions from 1990 would be reduced by 80% by 2050. It’s been 11 years since then. In May earlier this year, New Scientist journalist, Adam Vaughan, wrote an article declaring that the UK had risen its carbon goal to net- zero by 2050. The common causes of carbon emissions are usually from cars and power plants. Unfortunately, at this moment in time, the goal to net zero emissions is 46% done and still has a long way to go to 80% and with carbon being one of the most emitted energies there is, the UK still has a long way to go to 100%. Needless to say, not much has been done.
Visualise this. You are 12 years older than you are now and you have been called in for a job interview for a vacancy you applied for. Except, you’re not travelling to the interview. No, you’re doing it virtually because it’s unsafe out there. The air is polluted with harmful toxins, fires are erupting everywhere, food and water is scarce and most of the animals are extinct - the list could go on and on. Compared to the world you grew up in, this one is chaos. You are left wishing that the people, no matter who they are, could have been a little more considerate to the environment. You remember the days when you used to play with your friends in the garden of your old house when you were younger, care-free and with no worries. Time then fast-forwards to two years ago, when you visit the place again, only to be greeted with the unfavourable stench of a garbage heap. To think that our world could possibly be in that horrible state sends cold, unwelcome shivers down the back of my spine.
When the world was younger, a lot more animals were still alive, but now a lot of them are gone. The fact remains that we are lazy and most of the time we don’t think about our consequences - it’s only human for us to do so. However, that shouldn’t be an excuse. As people, we should be correcting each other, learning from mistakes, creating new ties with nature and instead, we are doing the opposite. It’s hard for us to feel guilty about the damage plastic may do to sea creatures, hard for us to reflect on how the environment has changed, hard for us to empathise with animal species facing loss of their habitat. After all Mother Earth has done for us, is it really right to give some second-rate, hazardous toxins back? I don’t think so.
It’s boring to be reminded again and again about how us horrible people are hurting the environment in most ways we can, I know, but it is essential. I might sound like my *ahem* darling mother when I say this but, if somebody doesn’t put in the work (I’m talking about you, reader) then who will? We only have 12 years until we do irreversible damage to the Earth. Do your bit and encourage others to do theirs. If we don’t have the constant reminder, then we will forget. I don’t really want to grow up and in 12 years’ time see miles of plastic when I go to the beach and I don’t think that you would either. Read previous articles of the Wally Street Journal for more information about how you can preserve the environment longer. Until then, reuse, reduce and recycle!
Faheema Mukhtar
THE HISTORY OF WINGDINGS (The History of Wingdings)
Wingdings is a uniquely bizarre font, as its symbol format is entirely untranslatable to most people. So the question is raised, why does it exist? To the left is a rare example of wingdings in use in the game ‘Undertale,’ in which its purpose is to confuse the player. This usage seems like a glitch as it is accompanied by threatening sound effects and empty, unnatural environments.
As a writing tool, Wingdings is obsolete, however, this is because it was never intended as such. The symbols of Wingdings were released in 1990 as an emoji like tool. In an era lacking in internet access, this offered accessible and good quality images without the downfalls of finding them online. Microsoft bought the rights to the three separate fonts that ended up combining to produce Windings, allowing it to be a widescale useful tool. The name ‘Wingdings’ comes from combining ‘Windows’ with ‘dingbats.’ At the time, the font was misunderstood too, as some users took it to be font for writing. Conspiracy theories were devised that it contained hidden messages, in particular antisemitic messages, due to the translation of NYC being NYC. Subsequently in Microsoft’s 1997 release of Webdings they changed NYC to translate into an eye, heart, and skyline. In a modern context, Windings may not be used but symbol based dialogue is popular in the form of emojis, showing us that communication is constantly changing as technology adapts. Thank you for reading and remember, get paid, get laid, get Gatorade.
By Eté Thurgood
Honesty Isn’t the Best Policy? Lying arguably isn’t one of the most honorable acts to conduct, and so a lot of us spend a lot of time hiding our lying, justifying it and trying to blame it on something else entirely. The truth is that we all do it. We all lie all the time. And you’re lying if you say you don’t. So, how can it be such a bad thing if everyone does it? We get told by our parents very early on that lying is bad, but then we visit dad’s boss and tell him that the pie his wife made was delectable and that it tasted heavenly, even though it didn’t? It sends mixed messages. How is it fair that sometimes lying is okay and sometimes it is not? The conclusion that comes about is that lying is necessary. It is needed for people to function, cooperate and succeed. Deception is profitable; it can help us get what we want. Children lie to get the new toy they want, and adults lie to not get fired from their job. We are all against it, and we all get furious when we find out we have been lied to, but society has deemed lying necessary, and so for hundreds of years we have been doing it, so long so that it is has now become a part of who we are. Many recent studies have concluded that lying is a cooperative trait that we have all gained; it may even be evolutionary - it is necessary for our survival. Think of it in this way: loneliness can have detrimental effects on our mind, and those in social isolation are scientifically more likely to fall into depression or – in even more extreme cases - be led to commit suicide. You can perceive this as survival of the fittest: we may lie to gain friends or validation from those friends, but it’s those lies that make sure we aren’t alone and thus, they make our survival more likely. Lying in the workplace has its own obvious benefits: lying leads to cooperation, and cooperation leads to a more friendly and healthy work environment, where people are more likely to prosper and succeed. Moreover, professional success has been known to lead to happiness and a higher self-esteem, and this combination can easily be linked to higher life expectancy.
Lying also reaps psychological benefits: there is scientific evidence suggesting that depressed people are more honest than non-depressive people and that when depressed people recover, they become less honest. You can argue that depressed people are more realistic, but self-deception and lying are necessary for your well-being. Being too honest with the world means that depressed people lack the optimism that is needed to push and live a life that is often unfair and full of suffering. The truth is that those who are too blunt or too honest about their opinions are more likely to be perceived as unsociable and unkind. And to be completely honest, people value lies. David Smith, director of the New England Institute, says that “we also value dishonesty”; people often don’t want to hear the actual truth – they want to hear the good things, regardless of whether or not they are true. Lying can lead to good; use it to do good. A single compliment can make someone’s day even if you don’t mean it. Lying is an art form. It takes passion and hard work to be able to twist your tongue to the bittersweet taste of a fresh, new lie. It isn’t appreciated because of how naturally it comes to most of us, but lying is actually one of the most remarkable accomplishments that the human mind has ever made. Brain imaging actually shows that lying takes more effort than telling the truth, but because of how accustomed we are to it, we sometimes don’t notice the tact and time it can take to come up with a brilliant deceit, and since we all know that we aren’t just going to stop lying, I think we should all start to appreciate this natural gift a little bit more. I understand of course that lying doesn’t only have positive outcomes. Sometimes, you get caught. Sometimes you’re committing a felony. But the point here is that sometimes lying can make life a lot easier; it can help you get along with others, or get an ego-boost from your friends or whatever else it is you need or want. True, it doesn’t always work out, but for when it does, we should appreciate it, and we shouldn’t constantly think that lying is bad because condemning it would be hypocritical – unless you can stop lying just like that, don’t look down on it. Value the lies you tell, and use them for your benefit, or even better, someone else’s.
Cuttings are an easy way to duplicate the plants you love. Some plants require a hormone rooting powder to encourage new growth. However, some, like basil want to grow like friiiick3. If you have reached Edexcel GCSE Biology Topic 6: Plant Structures and their functions then you’ll know about meristem- the undifferentiated cells that create new growth. This is the secret to cuttings. This is the secret to infinite basil and a new world order. By taking cuttings from the base of new growth, you can effectively create a supply of basil that will last till the rapture, the coming of Cthulhu, or a nuclear incident. Whichever comes first.
Materials • A basil plant (Example. Tesco Basil pot £1.25) OR • Freshly cut basil (From a packet, garden or garnish) • A vessel – clear for extra Biology Core Practical Points • Dihydrogen monoxide, aka Aqua, aka “water” 1) Acquire basil- you need either a plant or pre-cut fresh basil 2) Take cuttings from the basil. You need to cut just under the base of the leaf node. (Node- where the leaves join the stems). Your cutting should ideally be around 10 cm long. (PS. It doesn’t have to be, this works so well you can grow roots on smaller pieces. No one will find out.) 3) Remove the lower leaves if they are close to the bottom of the cutting, this prevents them from moulding. Leave the top leaves intact so the plant can perform photosynthesis and live.
4) Place the cutting(s) in water. Leave them in your choice of vessel on a windowsill. They need a decent amount of light (they are plants). 5) Soak the cuttings in water till roots begin to grow. Replace the water every couple of days (in reality: as often as you remember). This means the roots have a supply of oxygenated water, it’s preferable to a stagnant pond. 6) Wait until the new roots are a good length compared to the size of the cutting, usually a few centimetres. Watch them grow, brag about your power. You just sustained a life. You will be remembered as a benevolent ruler by your people. 7) Transfer the plant to a pot. This can be any container with a drainage hole1. A cheap alternative to a pot is a punnet from supermarket fruit. Fill this with soil, water till the soil is just moist, and plant the basil cuttings. Put a saucer or tray underneath it to reduce mess. 8) Wash, rinse, repeat. Take cuttings of the new plants, soak and plant. Grow new plants.
Where: P= the final population Pi = the initial population t = the time in weeks
With this method, basil population can be modelled with an exponential function2. Fun extra challenges: Steal the garnishes from fancy restaurants and grow them at home, Try this method with other herbs -lavender, mint and rosemary can all be grown like this. Try to prevent your basil growing roots. I dare you. And here’s one I did earlier:
My basil population was decimated by a slug, many were lost that day. This is the last, grown from the dying body of a great plant. This is the hope of the new generation. The UN said they’re working on it but I don’t think they take my new sovereign state seriously.
If it doesn’t work out though I’ll just borrow some basil from somewhere and I’ll probably have a replacement population in a few weeks. -------------------------------------------------------------------------1If
you’re pressed for a decent pot, a drainage hole is not essential. Be sure not to overwater to prevent the roots from rotting and if possible fill the base with gravel to increase drainage. 2 Ignoring
constraints such as availability of windowsill space, pot population, number of friends to give basil plants to, slug population, water shortages, and an extreme frequency of Italian meals. 3The
Family Basily-Bois would like to apologise for any offense caused by this informative article. #xijinpingiswinniethepooh #yestoalternativevote #livelovelaugh
By: B.C Basily-Bois
I think it’s fair to say that we've all gone through a multitude of phases and whilst some of them are wonderful, there are significant periods of our lives that we wish were different or had never happened. And that's okay. It's okay to look back at something prior to now and regret it; we are all constantly changing, adapting, finding ourselves and for your present self to reflect and regret past events is natural. It's also okay to regret nothing, to embrace each and every phase and the cringe that came with some and sophistication that came with others. It's okay to look back at each and every phase and know that, at the time, that was you and it doesn’t do well to wish that that part of you had never been shown. Phases are a fact of life but not everything is a phase. The classic example of something that's "not a phase" (this line is usually followed by "mum") is sexuality. Constantly people say that you'll grow out of it and it is just a phase and as a whole the LGBT+ community has taken on the idea that sexuality is not a phase. But it can be. And that is just as valid. For some people things are just a phase: people change, their preferences change and the inbuilt phrase of "it’s not a phase" is often accepted as fact. However. the truth is it might be a phase. You don’t know you're in a phase until you're out of it, do you? Redefining yourself, rediscovering yourself and relabelling yourself is fine. It's fine, whether it is a phase or not. It's all okay. You're still human.
We hope you enjoyed issue 16 of the Wally Street Journal! We are looking for new submissions every issue, so please send work to collinsd@wallingtongirls.org.uk or williamss@wallingtongirls.org.uk. Have a great Christmas break!
Praise cthulhu