It Worked for Them, but Not for Me

Answering the Why

At Sample’s birthday party, we presented this question to you. Some excellent replies came in from readers, and I’m happy to share them with you.

Q: I get convinced about different health modalities I read in Sample or in Wellspring. Excited, I book an appointment with the craniosacral therapist, the reflexologist, or the chiropractor. I attend the appointment and religiously do what they advise, showing up to follow-up appointments, taking supplements, and doing exercises.

And then, nothing. Nada. No results at all. Only I’m a thousand dollars poorer.

How can it be that some modalities work for some people, and they don’t work for others trying to treat the very same issue?

Is there any way we can predict the outcome before we try?

B. P.

You ask a good question, and I think that many of us can relate. With all the truth, info, and research available, there’s absolutely no way to know in advance.

Aside from davening and doing research, it’s not in your hands. The only thing you can do is ask the practitioner after how many sessions she expects to see results by, and if that many sessions pass without results, make sure to speak up and ask if you should keep going. If the practitioner urges you to keep trying, ask questions, such as to understand the process better, how many sessions, why it works, etc.

I can relate to this question. It’s all in the hands of Hashem, but here’s the hishtadlus I do.

1. I get informed about various modalities by asking around and reading articles. I look out for specific ways the modality helps.

2. I research practitioners. I only consult with someone who’s known to be very honest, with a solid track record.

3. I question the practitioner thoroughly before starting, inquiring about her particular experience with the issue I’m trying to treat and how many sessions it will require. I remain on top of the practitioner and don’t shy away from asking questions throughout.

4. I daven!

Lots of hatzlachah in finding the right shlichim to help you.

Esther S.

There’s no clear answer to this question, but I can share what worked for me, in terms of achieving peace of mind regardless of results. It has been life-changing for me to work on internalizing emunah and bitachon, the knowledge that Hashem is with me, loves me, and whatever I’m going through right now is for my ultimate good.

After that comes tefillah, thanking Him for the nisayon (even if I’m not actually feeling too much gratitude at that moment), and asking Him to heal me so I can serve Him with more menuchas hanefesh and simchah, and be able to keep doing more for my family and Klal Yisrael.

Next, while keeping in mind that while He’s the only source of healing, He requires us to do hishtadlus, I seek the modality that both speaks to me and seems to have a good track record in terms of positive results. Before beginning treatment, I have a conversation with the practitioner to see if she feels I’m a good candidate for her modality. An ideal practitioner will always bring Hashem into the picture, saying with genuine conviction that she’s only a shaliach, while giving over the feeling she has what it takes to help, besiyatta diShmaya.

Most important, before going to each appointment, I try to put myself in the mindset that I’m in His hands, He’s the only healer, and I’m now only going through the motions of hishtadlus to do His will. I then say a kapitel Tehillim or a short tefillah in my own words asking Him to heal me. If or when I see positive results, I try to thank Hashem before thanking the person who was a worthy shaliach.

This is not to say that if you weren’t helped and others were it’s an indication that their bitachon was greater. I just found that doing the above helped me minimize the frustration I felt when treatment was unsuccessful, as I can identify with you in your question.

I heard during a shiur from Rabbi Shalom Mordechai Rubashkin that when a person attributes everything to Hashem, they’re more likely to be helped, since Hashem sees there’s no danger of them distancing themselves from Him by thinking, “Kochi ve’otzem yadi”—that I did “a-b-c,” and “it” worked.

Due to an error in the deadline printed in a past call for Samples, we once again open the doors to Gratitude Take2, a fun experiment for those who can handle some unconventional work. Email libby@wellspringmagazine.com by June 25 to be included.