Emotional Eating

I“I have a problem,” Ruchie confessed when she first so let’s try to drop the negative dieting terminology toward started working with me. “I’m usually good during the day ourselves. but then, I cheat every night. On garbage. Especially any We learn about the importance of speech in various kind of chocolate. I know it’s fattening, but I can’t resist. places throughout the Torah. One important example is in When my kids go to sleep and the house is quiet, I lose Parshas Noach, when the Torah refers to the non-kosher my self-control and splurge. Can you help me stop this bad animals as “non-tahor” rather than “treif.” The Gemara in habit? I know it’s keeping my weight up.” In response, I Pesachim famously tells us that the Torah uses seemingexplained to Ruchie that in our work together we would ly extraneous words to teach us the importance of clean make changes in her eating habits, and we would also make speech. Even while referring to an animal, we don’t want changes in her language habits. to use a word like treif because it’s not considered

You see, just as important as the food we a pure word. How much more so should we put into our body is the language we feed consider the words we use to describe ourour minds. We know that different selves. foods have different nutritional effects. Likewise, different words we use to describe our food or eating experiences impact our relationInstead of using the Over several weeks, Ruchie learned some healthier eating and lifestyle habits. At the same time, and even more significantly, she learned to ship with food, and, of course, the way we feel about ourselves. The word “cheat,” reframe her language to a healthier, “cleaner” voice. The first way diet culture is replete with words like cheat, indulge, splurge, treat, use a neutral she did this was by bringing in more awareness to the times she good/bad/forbidden food. I hear these phrases very often when word like used negative terminology to describe her eating. As a homework women begin their work with me. For example, I’m too embarrassed to “choose.” assignment, she noted and jotted down the times she spoke or even tell you what I ate the past few days. thought in a negative way about her It was soooo bad—I cheated so much! I eating. After one week of this assignsplurged. I messed up. Another line I hear at ment, she told me, “I’m shocked. I never releast once a week is, Shira, I’m for sure your hard- alized how many of these negative words I use!” est client. My eating is totally out of control! I’m definitely the The next step I suggested for Ruchie to try was a reframe: hardest case you have, right?! Wrong. Instead of using the word “cheat,” use a neutral word like As Yidden, we are taught to be very cautious with our “choose.” For example, instead of: I cheated on chocolate, language. We know that speaking lashon hara about oth- replace it with: I chose to eat chocolate. Instead of: I was so ers is forbidden. But what about speaking negatively about bad on Shabbos, say: I ate things that I wasn’t hungry for at ourselves? That’s forbidden too. If I say, “I ate so terribly on certain times over Shabbos. Or: I ate something I didn’t think Shabbos,” or “I cheated on my diet,” I’m using negative ter- was a healthy option for me at the seudah. Instead of splurge minology to describe my actions. Yes, one might counter, and indulge, say: I ate past the point of physical fullness. it’s just words—it’s just describing something. It’s not that The way we view ourselves and our actions deeply imI’m bad; it’s just the “lingo.” My response is: Would you use pacts not only our future actions but also our general wellthese words to describe someone else? Would you call your being. The more positively we speak about ourselves, the friend a bad eater or a cheater? We clearly try our best to greater the chance that we will emerge from detrimental refrain from using negative words to describe a fellow Yid, habits like overeating.

Shira Savit, MA, MHC, INHC, is a mental health counselor with multiple certifications in nutrition and health. She specializes in weight loss, emotional eating, and binge eating. Shira incorporates both nutritional and emotional components in helping her clients reach their goals. Shira has a private practice in Yerushalayim and works with women in any location via phone call or video session. She can be contacted at 516-978-7800, shira@cucumbersandchocolate.com, or via her website: cucumbersandchocolate.com.