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ODUN OGUNBIYI ODDBOD & THE CITY

Where Do You Spend Yours?

In avoiding accursed New Year’s resolutions that one can never stick to, I have been looking at being more mindful and intentional with how I live my life. The results? I am hoping for a healthier body, mind, and spirit feeling with which I approach this rollercoaster called life. It all seems to be about changing small habits in your everyday life to create significant change. Swap your single-use plastic for a more sustainable alternative. Drink more water. Do the physiotherapy exercises for your busted knee first thing in the morning Odun; it only takes 10 minutes. Little habits, big gains. As a minusculesized business owner, it came to me while I was doing the small-businessowner dance after an order came in: who dances when I spend my money? For a hot minute, there was a ‘Buy Nigerian’ movement in the fashion industry, but shockingly, I could not find any details about the who, what, or where if I put that into the Google search engine. Currently, there are two movements of note in America: Buy Local (all about being environmentally aware with your spending), and Support Black-owned Businesses. Separate movements to be sure, but they had me thinking. Why are we so reluctant to support our own? Make no mistake, in almost every other continent and culture, you first spend your money within the community before going elsewhere. Why have we been so convinced of the superiority of “OTHER” as a continent, a country, a people? I know our fraudulent reputation here in Nigeria does not help, customer service seems to be a foreign concept, and there is just no getting away from the superior quality of most international luxury brands but, with some research and a little priority reorganisation, the bulging bank account of LVMH may not be the best resting place of your hard-earned cash. It goes without saying that investing in Nigerian-owned businesses and entrepreneurs is critical to creating opportunity and growth in our country.

Consumer power is a superpower...

Small businesses, entrepreneurs, and (dare I add as a niche consideration) women with small businesses have been long-time wealth-builders for generations in this country. By supporting more Nigerian-owned companies for your everyday needs, you can help create more opportunities for meaningful savings, property ownership, job creation, and generational wealth in our community. Supporting Nigerian businesses shouldn’t be a trend; it should be a lifestyle. When you ‘choose’ to support Nigerianowned businesses, you support black pride, unity, and self-determination. Am I taking this too far? Ask yourself what your regular patronage means to a small business and the families supported. Nigerian entrepreneurship must be funded first by Nigerians. It is a tool for survival in a world that seems to not want to see us win. When we choose to win against all odds (here I will add the absolutely hostile and toxic banking industry), young Nigerian children grow up seeing successful entrepreneurs and a thriving community.

What does support look like?

•If you had a good experience, tell a friend. A personal endorsement is better than any advertisement. •Follow, engage and post on social media

Support isn’t free, and free isn’t support. Do not ask for a discount if your overall goal is to help!

DOWNTOWN CONFIDENTIAL

LATHER UP

BY TILEWA KAZEEM

For centuries, movies have had the responsibility of bringing our deepest and most sensual desires to fruition. Whatever it is, there’s a movie scene somewhere in the world that depicts it. But one thing we all tend to delude ourselves of is that movies and reality are yards and acres apart. Although they offer apt representations, there is always more to it than meets the eye.

I don’t mean to be the bearer of bad news but, sex in the shower isn’t always that fluid—pun intended—and if utmost care isn’t taken, the only place either one of you will be going to is the ER. Why? Because nothing in there is on your side. Not the showerhead, not the tap, not the shower curtain rail, and most definitely not the soap dish. P.S. If you use a bucket and a bowl to bathe, stick to the bedroom but if you’re hell-bent on experiencing this then I advise you to call a plumber to come to fix your pipes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it can’t be done, it’s just that some things should be put in place for everything to go smoothly and nobody leaves injured.

Most of you reading this are most likely saying to yourselves, ‘I’m sure this guy has done or at least, tried this before.’ Well, yes, I have and it has its pros and cons, some of which you’ll soon find out.

It was a Saturday like every other one before it. I had stepped out of my university apartment to the smell of clean clothes and detergent. Every clothing line was clamped up with wet clothes. Thank God I hadn’t gone through the trouble of washing my clothes. Right as I was about to make fun of my roommate for being overeager in his quest for clean clothes, I received a Whatsapp notification from ‘Baby with two love emojis.’ It was a thirst trap photo of the girl I was dating at the time. She had a lime green towel around her bosom with the caption ‘wanna join?’ At that moment, I had never been happier to have not taken a shower.

I waved down a cab and raced to her flat. On getting there, I was met with the familiar smell of detergent but this time I couldn’t care any less. I get to her room door and I give my secret knock so she knows it is me and she yells ‘come in.’ I step in and lock the door behind me, I look at the table and I see a drink. “Hey baby,” she says before kissing me and leading me by the arm towards the toilet. “What about the drink?” I inquired and she replied, “It’s for later” with a slutty look in her eyes. For the first time in a long time, her shower was working, and watching the water cascade down her erect nipples almost made me want to jump in; clothes and all.

We’re inside the shower, my lips are around her areola, while my clothes and her lime green towel were abandoned at the bathroom door. There’s soap on her body but we both don’t seem to care about it. With her arched over and her hands on the toilet tank, I delicately slid into her. The water rolls off our body just as moans of unbridled passion roll off her tongue. All seems to be going hunky-dory until neither of us can get a grip. We both were just sliding all over the place and to make matters worse, her lady bit was drying up. Who would have thought all that water wouldn’t keep her lubricated. A few close calls and we decided to opt for softer and dryer pastures. Let me not get you started on the soap we both didn’t care about burning our eyes.

In terms of preparing properly for sex in the shower, you need a few things, one of which is a lubricant. Thinking that water is enough to keep you grooving is a common misconception that I hope this clears up. As wet as water is, it isn’t slippery and we all know how important slippery is to sex. I implore you to have lube on standby when going down and dirty in the shower with your partner or partners.

Another thing worth investing in is a shower mat. What this does is that it gives you enough friction in the thrusting and balance department as opposed to sliding and running the risk of literally breaking her back or yours. Something else to take into account is toys. Not a rubber duckie but actual sex toys—that are water-resistant of course—to spice things up a bit in the bathroom as well. And for those of you wondering what happened to the drink, it served its purpose eventually.

COVER

Just How Much Is Your Vote Worth?

BY KEHIND É FAGBULE AND TILEWA KAZEEM We are gradually reaching the precipice of fences, banners and streets littered with pictures of political office aspirants promising new beginnings in the shape of an apt catchphrase. Street urchins love it, market women look towards it, PR firms fight tooth and nail to get contracts to further embellish each aspirant and the candidates have the money to squander on their agenda. Nothing is unexpected or beneath them during these noteworthy times. Buying roast corn by the roadside, walking or taking public transportation or unlocking new levels of public display of affection just to get you to marry into their agenda. When it’s all said and done, are you going to stick or twist? Are you going to hold or fold and at what price?

Activism In Nigeria

Activism is the natural response to a failing system. In Nigeria, we have had several activists go directly against the government. From Gani Fawehinmi to DOWNTOWN cover personality, Rinu Oduoala, activists in Nigeria are not only diverse, they also come from all walks of life and fight different causes in a bid for a better life. Being the most populous black country in the world, it is easy for the government to have a disconnect with its people. Activism aims to bridge the ridiculously wide gap between the different administrations and its citizens, to amplify the cries of the regular person to the ears of the powers that be. But is it enough to try to make a difference from the outside looking in? Because of the nature of their job—if you’d call it that— activists are usually outspoken and articulate, decisive, well-read on societal issues and very intentional with every move they make; all attributes of a great leader. A call some of them have yielded, although very few have transitioned seamlessly.

Activists Actual Involvement In Politics: The Toxic Relationship Between Them And The Public

Coming from the back of the heavy #EndSARS protest that culminated in the Lekki massacre, Nigerians have become especially paranoid as they prepare for the coming election. With an evil perception of everyone associated with the Buhari administration still lingering in their mind, the public have resorted to the a-friend-of-my-enemy-is-myenemy ideology to decipher the mystery: ‘who is with us and who isn’t?’ In the heat of the fortnight-long series of protests, Twitter saw the rise and fall of human rights activist and selfacclaimed convener of the #EndSARS campaign, Segun Awosanya, known predominantly as Segalink. Awosanya, who had enjoyed an overflow of love and support from fellow Nigerians all over social media just before the protests broke out, was believed to be in direct dialogue with the government. Before that, the public perception of Awosanya was that he was doing the Lord’s work as very often he would come to the rescue of youths who were profiled wrongly and harassed by the Nigerian police. He had such a strong presence, his Twitter handle was the first line of response for anyone going through police-related distress at the time. Think about how white Americans would call 911 at the slightest inconvenience just because of the sheer faith they have in the system to always look out

Bola Ahmed Tinubu’s Youth Summit poster listing Leo Da Silva as a panelist COVER

Maryam Apaokagi-Greene with other skitmakers that met with the vice president

for them. Awosanya once enjoyed that level of trust. His relationship with Nigerians became sour when they started to see his involvement with the same people he was supposed to be at war with. Awosanya was labelled a sellout with a god complex. Last year, social media skitmaker and influencer, Maryam ApaokagiGreene known professionally as Taaooma, was under fire for being a part of a group of skitmakers who had travelled to Abuja to meet with the vice president, Yemi Osinbajo. Apaokagi-Greene who, just like everyone else on social media, lent her voice very passionately to the #EndSARS campaign, was bullied across social media platforms for being in the same air space as the vice president, even though the visit was not politically motivated. A fortnight ago, the ‘sellout activist’ banner was once again rolled out and the casualty this time was Big Brother Naija alumni, Leo Da Silva. The reality star who, just like Apaokagi-Greene, is only politically conscious and not a career activist came under a lot of public scrutinies after he took to his various social media handles to share a Bola Tinubu Youth Summit poster with the theme; ‘Reinventing our future: Roles of young Nigerians in national development.’ Da Silva announced that he will be a panellist in the youth summit that is scheduled for the 26th of March this year. Following the announcement, a lot of Nigerians on the internet have stormed the celebrity’s social media pages, raining insults and accusing him of betraying them for money. The summit is set to feature the DirectorGeneral of Bola Tinubu Support Group Council, Abdulmumin Jubrin, as the Guest Speaker; Senator Ajibola Bashiru as Keynote Speaker; Hamzat Lawal, an anticorruption activist and founder of ‘Follow The Money,’ as a panellist; Maryam Laushi, a communication specialist, activist and has been one of the most vocal Northern voices raising awareness on gender equality, social justice and youth inclusion in politics, as a panellist; Leo Da Silva, an ex-housemate of the Big Brother Naija show, as a panellist, among other young Nigerians. However, Da Silva, who is the second youngest member of the panel, was especially targeted because of his popularity on social media. At what level are young people allowed by fellow young people to be involved in politics? There was a nationwide sigh of relief after the ‘Not Too Young To Run’ bill was passed in 2018. Nigerians were generally enthusiastic about a future where young people were just as involved in politics as the older generations whom we have grown to loathe and recognise as ‘political demons.’ But have you looked around? Old people still dominate the space; not because they don’t want young people around, but because young people don’t want to be associated with them. So where do we come in? Are we not allowed to engage in conversations that are aimed at shaping our future just because it features the older generations? Do we not have the freedom to choose who we associate with, whether you choose to associate with Olusegun Obasanjo, Goodluck Jonathan, or Allhaji Abdulsalami Abubakar? Do the back and forth political dialogues imply that we are selling our votes and by extension our soul? If so, then for how much? This act, which is officially now an epidemic, didn’t just start. Nigerians, especially the young generation, are merely reacting to a trauma response triggered by their abundance of trust issues for a projected outcome they have come to believe is inevitable to suffice when activists who have spent a huge part of their public commentary challenging the government, end up wining