THEY / US THEY / US 01 01
THE THE CONNECTION CONNECTION EDITION ISSUE
FEATURING ara kanyinsola anifowoshe anais blondet chanel felicia douglass stephanie griffin nani inocentes emma leighton nicole lovett bao ngo brittany schotsch alana teas CURATED & EDITED BY WINTER SMILEY IN COLLABORATION WITH YSABELLA
AN INTRODUCTION There’s been a disconnect between us— systemically, physically, literally. Where is sisterhood when we’re trained to erase each other? To erase ourselves? Yes, all femmes are institutionally placed on the margins by patriarchal institutions. But white women silence us. Non-black femmes erase our black sisters. Cis girls forget non-binary and trans femmes exist. Sometimes it seems as if parts of our identities are at war with the other halves of ourselves. How do we find each other when there’s so much space and violence between us? How do we connect again? I started this zine for similar reasons as to why many other zines are created: to control our own dialogue, our own narrative. But I wanted to create a dialogue too. When we communicate with each other— when we send that emotional text at 3:00 am, tell our sisters we love them, cut ties with an abusive friend, look out for each other, call each other and ourselves out on our privileges, our fuckups— we re-tether ourselves to that ideal of solidarity, the sisterhood we have been denied at the hands of forces larger than ourselves. The ones out of our control. In our debut issue, we don’t just take a look at the ways we connect with each other; instead, we simply do. We talk. We interview. We start that dialogue. We get each other paid. We create a space for ourselves, a platform for our creations and labor. We record our own stories. We reach out through that bright blue screen and ask, What can I do for you? Here, the us versus them mentality alters in solidarity from an “I” into a “We.” A “They” into an “Us.” So, thanks to everyone who worked on this project with us; to everyone that agreed to be interviewed, to everyone who’s time, energy, and labor was put into creating something from their own hands and exhibited here, to all those reading this, & to all the other femmes of color that feel like they take up too much space, that want to make something for themselves, that want to define their own borders and limits— I see you. Thank you. Let’s connect again.
FRIENDS ON THE INTERNET in conversation with ara— creator, diarist, digital sister pt. i of an ongoing series in which friendships made URL have a conversation preserved IRL as they talk about their relationship and interests via interviews.
WINTER you and i started talking through pinterest and have become close friends via snapchat, but both of us have never met in person. do you feel there’s a stigma around friendships made and maintained through the internet/social media? if so, do you feel these criticisms are valid? ARA a lot of people have a problem with making friends online, maybe understandably - it’s someone you’ve never met, they could be using a fake identity, etc. but once you realise that most people on the Internet are just like you and are also looking to connect, it becomes much easier even than getting to know people irl - I, for one, know that I’m definitely more confident in a social environment online than in actual real life, and that allows me to be more ‘myself’ when talking to people through social media / another platform.
W how has the internet influenced your perception of the world/culture and the way you create, if at all? A the Internet has helped me a lot, definitely. it’s inspired more out of me art-wise and encouraged me to be a better person. I’ve educated myself personally on the Internet when I’ve felt like I wanted to learn more, and I’m eternally grateful for that - to be able to access multiple ways of learning and being able to hear so many different thoughts and views globally, and taking pieces from that to form my own ideas.
W your family is from Chile and you live in the UK. do you feel as if living in a digital world has made it easier to metaphorically cross borders and stay connected to what’s happening there from thousands of miles away? A in some ways, yes, and in another way, no - in a general way, the Internet has helped me feel in touch and connected to other Chileans and Latinxs as a whole and I’ve found so much comfort in my / our communities it’s really important for me to have that safe space with people like me online, because sometimes in the area I live in, I can feel disconnected and isolated through the lack of diversity here. but unfortunately, my family in Chile doesn’t keep strong contact with us, mostly as they’re not especially confident with technology. W even though technically we’re friends in a URL sense rather than IRL, whenever we talk, we’re very open about what’s happening in our lives. one thing we talk about a lot together is our mental health, although usually its considered a relatively taboo subject to discuss openly. do you think it’s easier to talk about this and other subjects through texting/as friends on the internet? A yes, totally! talking to someone about something so private and personal face to face has always been really daunting, and I’ve never found comfort in doing so - I find it only makes me more anxious. but online, when facial / body language isn’t relied upon for communication, it’s so much easier to really say how you’re feeling without worrying how the other person is thinking. W how do you use your creative and artistic energy to take care of yourself mentally? A sometimes I can struggle with trying to find a healthy place from which to feel a sense of comfort and balance. something that doesn’t make me feel overwhelmed or that I know isn’t coming from a good place- and using creative energy and just making anything using it is what feels best. it’s such a pure form of expression; it’s the embodiment of a feeling, or a thought, or anything W i remember how you told me you live basically in the countryside. is there an art scene where you live? if not, how do you feel you and the rest of our generation use the Internet and/or social media to create our own art communities? is this a valid way of building our own platforms, and do you think it’s effective? A no, where I live there’s not really an art scene and there’s no art galleries or exhibitions for towns and towns away, although I wish there was and yes, I definitely support and encourage people taking matters into their own hands and using the Internet as a platform to showcase their art. but at the same time, even though the online world is only becoming more and more accessible, posting art on social media I feel doesn’t have the same effect on, for example, young children. when I was much more little and lived in the city, I loved art galleries. to me, the atmosphere and the energy wasn’t the same as a picture on the wall or on a phone screen. I think the art posted online is still completely valid and has the same potential but i think a different audience will find it. and also- that’s not a bad thing. W what’s the last text message you sent? the last one you received? A me: “where are you” (kinda boring) / my dad telling me he loves me (kinda sweet) W what’s one way you would describe our friendship? A two kids who love stranger things? and one of the best friends I’ve ever made [artwork by ara]
what a toxic woman looks like nicole lovett / tw: rape, abuse I assumed that people talked negatively about her because she was eccentric, and that they were jealous because of her intellect. It wasn’t. It was because she was literally awful, and somehow I was the only one who didn’t know the full scope. It was my senior year of high school. Simone* was initially an acquaintance before we became closer. We were in the same Government class. She would frequently ask thoughtful questions and give insight when other students were confused. We developed a sort of bond. I would write random stuff on her notebooks, and she would give me drawings. It was emphasized to me that she was sex positive, queer, and incredibly artistic. I’d already known these things from previous years— I’d even had a crush on her at one point— but I felt it even more strongly now. At one point, we even swapped pictures of each other in bras. She showed me her sex themed tumblr blog. It was a world I’d never thought to go to. She as a person and her worldview enticed me. As much as I hate to say it now, Simone truly helped me become comfortable with my sexuality. Simone also had a troubling home life. Late one night, she texted me that she needed a place to stay. Her family had freaked and had kicked her out. Panicking, I asked my parents if she could spend the night. They hesitated, then they agreed. We picked Simone up and took her to our house. As we ate leftover dinner in my kitchen, I felt lucky to have her there. Here was a friend who I appreciated, who I had saved from the cold night. I gave her a sleeping bag to lay in on the floor. I got situated myself in my own bed. I then asked her if she was uncomfortable— I never liked resting in sleeping bags. She was honest and said she was uncomfortable. I told her she could sleep with me, in my bed. She took up the offer. Then she raped me. It wasn’t sudden, like a hard unexpected jab. We laid there next to each other, talking for a while. I can’t remember exactly what she said to initiate sex. But I remember my heart hammering. I wasn’t romantically or sexually attracted to her— but I was drawn to her. I’d never had sex with a girl before, but I made a decision that she would be a good fit for my first. I agreed. She mounted me, and started working her way down my torso. I was really overwhelmed, so I didn’t really have any reaction. When she started giving me head, I knew I didn’t really like it. As she came up for breath, I said, “Okay, that’s enough.”
She continued anyway, insistent. I froze, thinking, She heard me, didn’t she? When she came back up, she kissed me, and I turned away, disgusted. I started shaking. The whole ordeal was too much. She embraced me— instinctively, I returned the gesture. “I feel safe with you,” I whispered. Incredulously, she seemed to hear that. I was trying to convince myself that what had just happened wasn’t real. Later, I tried to talk to her about listening to and respecting boundaries. I remember her getting defensive, guilt-tripping me. It shook me to my core. I cried so much those following weeks. I even developed a stutter from the shock. In our classes together, even sitting next to her was triggering. When she looked at me it was like she was burning holes into my skin. It would be over a year before stories about Simone and her abuse towards others were unearthed. I won’t share them here because they aren’t mine to tell, but somehow hearing that was confirmation for how terrible I’d been feeling. “Whatever she did to you, she meant to do it,” a friend of mine said who had personally been affected by Simone. I doubted my assault for a long time because, for one— Simone was a friend. I hadn’t imagined that a friend I trusted so much could harm me. Secondly, she was a woman. Although it can be generally agreed that women can be abusive, it isn’t talked about as nearly as much as it should be. And thirdly— I wanted her. I wanted to have sex with her initially. But all of these things don’t matter. Not her gender, not my intentions. The point is that she crossed a line into a place where I wasn’t comfortable— and dismissed my feelings on the matter quickly after. Thankfully, I don’t think about Simone as much as I used to. Nor am I as afraid of my body as I was right after she came into contact with it. But I still find myself searching for her in the crowd, just in case I have to disappear at the last minute. Whenever someone says her name, dread floods my body. I didn’t expect Simone to be a toxic woman. But in the end, she’s infected my life forever.
(*NAME CHANGED FOR ANONYMITY)
Nani Inocentes is a senior stage tech major at the Baltimore School for the Arts (BSA) and a scorpio sun sign (with rising libra and a moon in leo). While she may be a “techie” at BSA, Nani can often be found playing guitar or taking photos in and around, as well as outside of school. Her main passion may be in the arts, but she has many strong opinions regarding LGBTQA+ issues, being she is a transgender woman. Identity is something she closely relates to— whether that be her gender, her filipino heritage, or her zodiac signs, these are just some of the things that make Nani tick. She also likes Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain. You can catch her on instagram @ tssu.nani.
the work of nani inocentes
THEY/US: Tell us a little bit about how The Now got started and why you decided to create it. What do you hope to gain from the podcast?
friends with. I try to create questions that focus on the Why and How behind their work; as well as how their experiences and identity have shaped the things they do.
KANYINSOLA: My freshman year of high school, I was really frustrated that I would go online and see teenagers doing amazing things and start comparing myself to them and wondering how they got their ideas and inspiration. I kept thinking about messaging people that inspired me, to ask them about the technical aspects of their work or how they found motivation to do it. The idea started out as a zine, and it morphed into a podcast at some point just because I was lucky enough to have a library that offered recording equipment and I thought it would be a cool medium to try out. After a few months of thinking about it, I realized that I needed to center the podcast less on “productivity,” because that can be a false metric that focuses on external rather than internal validation-- and more on passion, and spotlighting people who are doing things that they’re passionate about and doing their best at it. I also started to think about how I didn’t need to interview people exclusively so that I could learn their secrets, I could also just interview people to (hopefully) expose more people to their work and elevate their voices.
T/U: Another reason why I think what you’re doing is so amazing and important also stems from your ambition, or how relatively young you are— not a lot of fifteen year olds have their own podcast written, created, directed, and executed by themselves! I also appreciate how everything you put out there— whether it be Wahala Zine or The Now— comes from your own unique perspective, and almost in a For-Us-By-Us mentality. What advice can you give to people your/our age (and younger) that aspire to create their own platforms just like you have?
T/U: What I really love about The Now is how each interview starts a dialogue between creatives— specifically younger artists. You’ve interviewed amazing people in just three episodes so far, including writer Rachel Davies, poet Ming Washington, and activist Eva Lewis. What draws you to interviewing certain artists, and what are some goals you tend to keep in mind when discussing their work with them? K: I honestly go to people whose work I connect deeply with and that brings light to my life. I interviewed Ming for my first episode because I was in love with her poetry and we knew each other in real life, so it made it a little bit easier to start this new project with someone I was already
K: Create the spaces you need to feel safe and feel seen. If you need these spaces, you can be sure that someone else feels the same way and will be willing to build this community with you or be a part of it. Trust yourself. Trust your ideas. T/U: The art world has a tendency to be very exclusive and patriarchally Eurocentric. As a young, creative woman of color— specifically a young Black girl*— how do you challenge ageism, racism, and sexism you may personally face, especially in such an exclusive world like this one? How does this come through in your creations— either in your podcast or your work with Wahala Zine? K: I try to surround myself with art (books, paintings, speeches, movies etc) created by people who are challenging these constructs in radical ways through their feminism and activism. I also believe that my insistence on my right to live freely and to take up space in the art world in way that reflects my existence as a young Black girl is a challenge to people who would prefer that I create work detached entirely from who I am.
we need thisYOUR right now TRUST IDEAS.
TRUST YOURSELF.
an interview with kanyinsola anifowoshe, fifteen year old creator of the now podcast and wahala zine, on creative power, interviews, and the future of youth in the art world. photography by nani inocentes
create the spaces you need to feel safe and feel seen. if you need these spaces, you can be sure that someone else feels the same way and will be willing to build this community with you or be a part of it. trust yourself. trust your ideas. Through The Now, I find solace in knowing that whatever space it’s carving out in the world is one where the voices of young creatives can be amplified and examined. T/U: We live in a time where fascism is being normalized daily and things are starting to change on bigger scales and at faster levels. Do you consider your creations to be an act of resistance in these times? How do you feel about the future of young artists in this new era? K: With Wahala Zine, I do my best to make sure we’re conveying an authentic sense of my lived realities and the realities of other members of the diaspora. I see this as vital because the lived experiences of POC are some of the only things we can trust in times like this. I think young creatives are doing an amazing job of holding/building one another up, and creating work that responds to our challenges with a radical hope for the future. Being able to see this everyday fills me with incredible faith. T/U: What are some goals you have for The Now, Wahala Zine, and/or any other projects in your foreseeable future?
you can keep up with kanyinsola on instagram at @suhriil and wahala zine at @wahalazine. you can also listen to the latest episodes of the now on itunes.
K: For The Now, I’m hoping to establish a more regular timeline for interviews and reach out to different artists across a variety of mediums. I’m also very excited for the launch of the first issue of Wahala Zine. My main goal for it is to become a space that provides discussion about life in diaspora; I want it to be a tool for understanding and discovering one’s identity and for affirming the multitude of ways that there are to be Nigerian. I also want it to address the relationship between Nigerians throughout the diaspora and in Nigeria, in the context of Nigeria’s social and economic condition. Personally I’m looking forward to returning to writing as a means of making sense of the world and thinking about my interests and experiences. (*Wording changed as an apology for marginalizing, anti-black phrasing found in original text.)
bao ngo
bao ngo / photographer, musician / pronouns: she, they / @baongo / www.bhngo.com
stephanie griffin
PHOTOGRAPH BY STEPHANIE GRIFFIN P H O T O A S S I S TA N T: M A X A L M A R I O ( @ 1 o x )
stephanie is a film photographer and arts facilitator from albuquerque, new mexico living in brooklyn, new york. her work is a study in the soft stuff that connects places to the people that walk them. she helps run the silent barn in bushwick and is a curator of artists, music, and healing potions. her work is found at @m0stefinitely on instagram and www.indaff.com.
stephanie griffin
as part of a semi-collaborative photography series, we asked photographer stephanie griffin to interview different femmes of her choice. as a result of this project, she spoke with three femme artists of color about their creative work.
bao ngo photographer, musician pronouns: she/they @baongo www.bhngo.com
felicia douglass visual artist, musician, dancer pronouns: she/her @feldou www.feliciadouglass.com
How does it feel to constantly be referred to as a “woman in music”? When will it end? It’s cool, I’ve seen a shift in how shows are being booked as well as previously all male groups asking around to work with female musicians to switch it up and that was not the case a few years ago. It’s important to me to play more diverse shows. If only people would quit asking me who makes my beats and synth sounds after my solo shows I’ll rest easier at night.
anais blondet pronouns: she/they filmmaker, musician, llustrator @bonitasladen www.anaisblondet.com
You’re one of the most hardworking people I know. Do you try to balance each of your art forms equally or work to focus on one at a time? Do you find it’s easy to shut off one (say, music) in order to focus on another (illustration)? I’m totally temperamental about my practice. I’d love to say I’m super disciplined and know how to perfectly allot chunks of time to each art form but the truth is that one day I’ll wake up and have an uncontrollable urge to draw and that’s all I’ll want to do for a week. It’s not the most efficient way to work but since it’s so visceral, I think the result is quite pure and that’s how I like it. There are of course instances when I just have to get shit done for a deadline and then there’s no stopping me. You better believe I’ll get shit done if I have to.
Do you see yourself reflected in the art or music scenes in any of the cities you’ve lived? Not really. I see Asian people in the art and music scenes in small numbers, but they’re always East Asian. I’m Southeast Asian so it’s different for me. I don’t feel like I’m reflected or represented at all. East Asians are more privileged. Statistically, Southeast Asians experience some of the highest poverty rates in the United States. We have darker skin and are typically stereotyped as Asian gangsters. I don’t really see people like me anywhere and I don’t really feel like anyone is speaking out for my people in art or music. I’m doing what I can with what little voice I have but it’s difficult.
“I create surreal, geometric environments that make me feel welcome. I find comfort in a mess of tangled shapes and colorful floating structures. I’m curled up on a neon chaise lounge within a multi-tiered realm. Jump in. “ — felicia douglass “Anais Blondet is a Peruvian-born, New York-based filmmaker, musician and illustrator. She has been experimenting with keyboards, ink, watercolor, digital film, and stop-motion animation through three continents for over a decade. She is currently writing her first feature-length screenplay while simultaneously working on five hundred other projects in collaboration with a wide array of artists and cultural institutions. That’s just how she rolls”. — anais blondet “Hi, I’m Bao. I was born in the fall of 1994. Raised in Texas, currently living in Brooklyn. I’m inspired by football fields, fast food drivethrus, and long drives in the countryside. I spend a lot of time thinking about the perks of suburbia and radical inclusion.” — bao ngo
MANY THANKS TO STEPHANIE GRIFFIN FOR PHOTOGRAPHING AND INTERVIEWING, AND THANKS TO FELICIA DOUGLASS, ANAIS BLONDET, AND BAO NGO FOR MODELING AND AGREEING TO BE INTERVIEWED.
let’s talk / an interview with filmmaker & youtuber chanel of the pastels on representation, her film, silken hips, collaboration between femmes, and her creative process.
THEY/US: For those of us who haven’t been blessed to see Silken Hips, how would you describe and/or explain it? CHANEL: Silken Hips is a hazy amalgamation of the comingof-age film and the road movie with an added air of mystery. It follows Romy, an eighteen year old who travels on the open road with her partner, Keanu. They spend their days and nights performing at roadside restaurants with the hope of making it big. After he abandons her on an important night, the girl from Romy’s dreams manifests before her eyes. T/U: Your personal aesthetic is so strong throughout what I’ve seen of your film— everything looks very nostalgic, fuzzy (in a good way), and romantic, almost as if walking into a place between being asleep and awake. What was the significance of this as far as storytelling goes? How did you incorporate this aesthetic with the narrative you wanted to tell? C: Those three descriptors are very telling of my own personal aesthetic, and since this is such a personal film - a dream project, I wanted to infuse my own intuitions and impulses into each frame. I am also very interested in dreams, feelings of deja vu, premonitions… the works. I always have such vivid, surreal yet romantic dreams, and strong overpowering cases of deja vu. As a result, I’ve always wondered if a stranger from my dreams could manifest into my awake, living life. Science says that it’s impossible to dream of someone that you don’t know, but why am I always dreaming of strangers? Am I about to meet them in real life? Is it foreshadowing? That’s why I incorporated that ethereal, otherworldly element into my story. That’s where the dreaminess in the aesthetic - soft focus, faded colour and unusual body composition within the frame - serves a narrative purpose, I guess!
T/U: I remember when you first announced the production of your film, you said one of the major goals of the project was to have representation of women of color— specifically Filipina women!— as leads on the big screen, which is definitely a rarity in so many films; this concept alone made it so exciting and new! As a Filipino girl yourself, how did you approach blending your own experiences into your work as well as crafting a new narrative from it? Do you see any parts of yourself reflected in your characters?
C: It was actually quite easy! I’m currently writing a script where the Filipino heritage plays a key role. However, in Silken Hips, their cultural background isn’t addressed or unpacked. They just exist. They just are. I wanted it to reflect my own world, in which I co-exist around other non-white people. My world is permeated by the presence of people of colour. That’s why I was adamant in the audition cast call-outs in having people of colour. It was just natural. I see myself being reflected in both the main characters, Romy and Piper. I am both anxious and unsure, but the inner me loves (or wants?) to sway her hips to the music, sing a lilting tune, flutter those eyelashes. The new narrative arises from the environment the film is set in. I go on road-trips a lot but nothing like a runaway, vagabond couple. Boy in a leather jacket. Road-side diners and bars. Performing as a way of making money. That was always such a fantasy of mine since I was a kid.
T/U: One of the things I love most about your work with The Pastels is how refreshing it is to see girls who I can personally relate to [as a WOC] creating content for themselves and doing it as a collective effort as well. How important do you think it is to be able to collaborate with other women, particularly other women of color? Do you think the same principles apply to your filmmaking process? C: I think it’s super important to collaborate with other women of colour, and other women from experiences and backgrounds that are largely misrepresented or ignored. You begin to develop a product that’s more diverse. Your singular experience or opinion isn’t reflective of an entire group. In regards to The Pastels, I feel like it’s super important to collaborate with my friends with varying skin tones, eye shapes, hair types, makeup and fashion preferences. It’s highlighting the beauty in diversity. But also the processes of collaboration can be tricky, and collaborations oughta be approached with caution and knowledge. Like people from positions of privilege seeking information from people with less privilege and using that information for their own gain without appropriate credit. In relation to my filmmaking process, I am definitely open to input from other women. I value their opinion so much. However, as Clara said, I’m a control freak so I definitely need to be in the right mental state or need a little push to get there.
T/U: How do you balance what others you are collaborating with want versus what you might personally want to get out of a project? Do you feel there is a difference between working collaboratively with the Pastels versus working mostly for yourself on your own short film? C: That’s honestly so difficult and I’m still learning day by day. I’m either super laidback and agreeable - bordering on personified doormat - or adamant and set in my decisions. I think giving it time to marinate what the other wants and weighing option s and seeking compromises helps. Because for me, I usually initially flat-out disagree and refuse due to my anxiety, as my mind immediately just launches into thinking of worst-case scenarios and stressing
over mini yet monstrous details. I feel like taking a few deep breaths, thinking, waiting a while and then talking it out with the person helps. If it all eventually ends up with more of the other person’s influence, then I just see it as a learning experience. Twist it into a positive one. What did I gain from this? What friends did I gain? What connections have I made as a result? I am a firm believer that everything leads unto another thing just as special. If the project didn’t turn out how I wanted, then at least I gained additional knowledge, skill-set or friends. I do see a difference. The Pastels is a collaboration and we very much all rely on each other to produce content. We do make compromises and seek ways to challenge ourselves in order
to go with the other’s idea. It’s honestly a very mature experience. On Silken Hips, as writer and director, I was the boss. I’m able to inject more of my creative and artistic influences into there, with a narrative that is meaningful to me. As I feel like with YouTube, we have to make our content more marketable or appealing for a wider audience as it’s being consumed on such a mainstream platform with a well-distinguished beauty community. I’m unsure how well-received a video would be if a moving piece of pink cellophane fluttered across the camera while one of us put eyeshadow. Unless they’re lookbooks or other videos, then I feel like tutorials have to be somewhat straightforward and “clean.” Maybe if we had a big budget, we could get wild (wink).
T/U: You and the Pastels are always prolific as far as creating content for your channel and expressing yourselves through sharing. You also started working on your film while doing so (and even released it last year). Whether it’s filming for your Youtube channel or for Silken Hips— or coming up with ideas for both— what processes do you go through when you’re creating? C: For personal projects, I usually get my ideas whilst listening to music and traveling on a bus, train, car, walking around. I usually visualise one particular scene and then I start to think of a whole narrative to support it. I then start a moodboard in order to collate a visual aesthetic. It sucks but I’m such a visual director which is both a
For The Pastels, we definitely come up with ideas together. We then create our own looks. I usually stare at my makeup collection, swatching colours together, looking at Pinterest boards as I try to get an inspiration for a look. T/U: What are some of your biggest inspirations and favorite films? C: My favourite films include Wim Wender’s Paris Texas, Wong Kar Wai’s Chungking Express and Days of Being Wild, Terrence Malick’s Badlands, Taika Waititi’s Boy, Ivan Sen’s Beneath Clouds, Abbas Kiarostami’s Taste of Cherry, Todd Hayne’s Safe, Martin Scorsese’s Goodfellas, Jia Zhangke’s Unknown Pleasures, all of Tsai Ming Liang’s films. I also like Serendipity, That Thing You Do! and Pretty In Pink. They’re my comfort films.
I’m inspired by images of mid-century suburbia, summer romances, road movies, mise-en-scene that completely ignores the face - close-ups on hands, lips, backs of people’s heads, presences of water in films. I’m inspired by jazz, bossa nova, doo wop, disco, bad 80s pop. I love the studio-lit, crafted nature of aesthetic of hollywood musicals and melodramas, but also love the usage of natural lighting in films like Badlands, 3 Women and Le Bonheur.
Watch Silken Hips on the The Pastels’ Youtube channel and keep up with Chanel on instagram at @lentilgirl.
p h o t o g r a p h y b y w i n t e r / f i l m s t i l l s f r o m s i l k e n h i p s ( 2 016 ) d i r e c t e d b y c h a n e l
blessing (atmospheric, tangible, engulfing worlds) and a curse (storyline, acting, dialogue suffer as a result). I just need to be visually inspired or else I literally cannot function.
l e f t : z o ey x a l a n a / p h o t o g r a p hy by a l a n a t e a s ( @ i t s _ p r o n o u n c e d _ u h l a m a )
r i g h t : y s s y x w i n t e r / p h o t o g r a p hy by w i n t e r s m i l ey
femmes x femmes
IN CONVERSATION WITH EMMA LEIGHTON + BRITTANY SCHOTSCH / two interviews about catching up with friends & their work WINTER
I always remembered you as being a very creative person growing up— you were into theatre, music, fashion, all of it. There were a lot of different creative outlets you experimented with as we were coming of age. What about makeup as a form of expression drew you into its world, and what messages do you want to communicate through it, if any? EMMA I would definitely describe myself as a creative person and I have loved lots of different forms of art and expression, and still do. Makeup though has just kind of always been a constant thing I was interested in since I was a little kid. My mom is very interested in makeup as well and she would give me some of her makeup to play with (like actually nice makeup no 4 year old needs like Bobbi Brown and stuff) so I think that’s probably a big part of it. My interest in other forms of makeup like theatrical makeup and special effects, though, somewhat came from my dad who was interested in it as well and was greatly reinforced by my 8th grade theatre teacher. Unlike a lot of theatre teachers she made teaching us about the things you can do behind the scenes an equal priority to teaching us about how to be good actors.
W Has social media/the internet been helpful or is it a hinderance to your creative expression? E I think social media can be helpful and hurtful. If you compare yourself to others too much then it can be a hinderance, but just remember that the people you idolize have probably practiced longer than you and that you can be just as good, better, or completely different and incomparable to them. It’s helpful though in the way that you can get so much inspiration from other people and learn new skills and methods of doing things. You can also talk to others who do similar things and have similar passions and you can help each other learn and grow which is really great.
I’m not really sure what message I would want to communicate through my makeup as a whole, but there are definitely different messages and feelings I try to convey in each look I do just like I would do through a painting or anything else. W Because makeup is not only a very visual but also a very personal way of expression, how do you find a balance in creating and expressing solely for yourself versus putting on makeup to appease others? Do you ever feel pressured into altering yourself to conform to a certain aesthetic? E Sometimes it is hard to balance creating only for myself and for others, especially since I want to do it professionally and I want my makeup to be seen. I do it for myself and I love being creative just for fun, but I also do want to put it out there and for people to like what I do. I think the way I balance it is just by making sure first and foremost that I like my makeup and I’m proud of what I’ve done, and then secondly hope others like it as well. It is challenging though because having others like what I do does have to be at least a little bit of a priority because I do want to grow and get better and eventually do it professionally where I’ll have to please not only myself with my work. I don’t think I ever necessarily feel pressured to look a certain way within the makeup community because a lot of times uniqueness is celebrated, but even so there are certain characteristics and certain ways of doing makeup that seem to be favored. In that way I guess sometimes I do feel the need to either slightly conform to what’s currently trendy, or to go completely in the opposite direction to set myself apart.
WINTER How would you describe your film to those that haven’t seen it yet? BRITTANY On the surface, my short film is about the Trauma Intervention Program (TIP) and how they help people on their worst days. Digging a little deeper, I tried to convey my gratitude to this organization, as they were there for my mom and I the day my dad died. They really helped my mom bounce back from the tragedy, which is what I’m most grateful for, and why she is the centerpiece of the film. It is a reminder that things can, and do, get better if one lets them. W Your film is very personal to you, and even focuses on your mom and her experiences as well as your own. In the film industry— and even around the other filmmakers we were working with— it seems as if there are a lot of directors that focus on telling stories that they have not experienced personally, which can be both valuable and problematic depending on its execution. What was your reasoning for focusing on your own narrative? Why was it important to you that you share your own story and what challenges did you face when doing so?
B With feeling the pressure of knowing this particular film would play in a festival, I wanted to stick to a subject I was familiar with. I’m a firm believer that if one creates art, they must be passionate about their subject. For me, there was no better choice than to raise awareness about TIP, and share a story from my mom. That said, the biggest overall challenge I faced was an internal one. I’ve never been much of an open person about the harder times in my and my mother’s life. It was hard for me to decide to share the story with anyone who was interested in listening. In the end, my passion for film and my pride in my mom’s openness overpowered my fear of sharing the story, and I’m eternally grateful for that.
B Having worked with a fair share of both male and female creatives on films, one defining difference I have noticed is males tend to be more quick to jump into action. They typically want to go with the first idea that comes to mind, and jump right into production. Most women I’ve worked with have been more methodical, and make sure everything will run smoothly by focusing on a thorough pre-production. W What advice do you have to up-and-coming femme filmmakers? B You have a voice that deserves to be heard. Work hard, and be proud of your work. If you’ve found a passion in film, don’t overlook an education in it, because film has an intricate language of it’s own. Understand that language, and you will be open to a new world of possibility for expression and storytelling.
emma is a makeup & special effects artist from texas. see more of her work at techandeffects.tumblr.com or on twitter at @GoreInGorgeous. brittany is a san diego-based filmmaker. her film, full circle, was featured in the san diego asian film festival in 2016. watch her full film on the pacific arts film festival’s youtube channel and keep up with her on instagram at @brittanyschotsch.
femmes x femmes, continued
W What are some of the challenges you have faced when navigating the filmmaking process while working working with male directors/creatives or even being mentored by them? How does this compare to working with other femme filmmakers and mentors?
THEY/US FEBRUARY 2017 instagram @they_us_mag www.theyusmag.com