THISDAY STYLE MAGAZINE 19TH MARCH 2023 by THISDAY Newspapers Ltd

...NOT IN THISDAY STYLE? THEN YOU’RE NOT IN STYLE

SUNDAY, MARCH 19, 2023

CHIOMA UZODIMMA REDEFINING EMPOWERMENT

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EDITOR’S LETTER

CONTENT

COVER NOTE

EXECUTIVE EDITOR

Society

DOUBLE CELEBRATION FOR BIMBO AND KEMI ASHIRU

In keeping with their annual tradition, Otunba Bimbo and Kemi Ashiru hosted a double celebration party for Bimbo’s birthday and their wedding anniversary. The event was a grand affair, with a guest list that included some of the most prominent names in the country.

MOTHER; A Verb, not a Noun

S yle EXECUTIVE EDITOR KONYE NWABOGOR 08111847087

Lifestyle & Fashion Mother’s Day: 5 Movies You Can 7 Watch With Your Mum Five Spots To Take Mum For 8 Dinner

DEPUTY EXECUTIVE EDITOR OLUFUNKE BABS-KUFEJI 08111847086 ASSISTANT EDITOR OROMAJUMBO 08113921062

10 The Best Gifts For That Special 11 Woman In Your Life The Stepmother

Self-Care Tips For Busy Moms.

Opinion; Tem’s Dress - The Topic and The Top Pick

- Hadiza Raisa Okoya AlaoAkala

Mastering The Art Of Timeless Style Alternative Music

VISUAL/SENIOR DESIGNER MATHIAS ARCHIBONG 07054965500 GUEST CORRESPONDENT YOMI OWOPE CONTRIBUTORS AZUKA OGUJIUBA DIDEE ETA AYO LAWAL BUKOLA AMOBOYE RUKY SALAKO KEJUO LEKAN

PHOTOGRAPHER LATEEF SALVADOR

DIRECTOR, PRINT PRODUCTION CHUKS ONWUDINJO 08077092196

@thisdaystyle |

hen it comes to motherhood, Nigerian women have for the longest being bombarded by a powerful message: that their sole purpose on earth is not only to build a human but as nature supposedly intended. This message has been spun with a bit of help from everyone, including other mothers. Now, what happened is that with this narrative came an incredible amount of shame surrounding infertility. For women who spent their entire lives trying to attain that one goal of being a mother, being unable to conceive, carry, deliver, or breastfeed children made them feel inherently, fundamentally broken and a failure. Of course, at the end of the day, all these moms wanted was to enjoy the beauty of motherhood. The truth is that for all the communal aspects of bearing and raising children, for all the prescriptions a woman will follow on the path of shaping another human, motherhood is still a uniquely individual experience. Yes, it is. A complex and unique experience that cannot be defined by any specific method of conception. I am one of those who strongly believe that motherhood is not defined by biology or this much-debated method. It is a choice that women make to love and raise a child, regardless of their genetic relationship. Motherhood is a journey of love, sacrifice, and dedication. Mothers who choose surrogacy, adoption, or IVF for unavoidable reasons still go through the same emotions, challenges, and joys as biological mothers. They love their children unconditionally, provide them with a stable and nurturing environment, and sacrifice their time, energy, and resources to ensure their children’s well-being. The decision to have a child through any of these means is a deeply personal choice, and it does not make anyone less of a mother. It’s time we all recognise and celebrate the diversity of families in our society and also support all women in their choices around motherhood. This means challenging the stigmatisation of non-traditional family structures and working to create a more inclusive and accepting society for all. By celebrating these women and their journeys, we can help to reduce the stigma and shame surrounding infertility and alternative paths to motherhood. It’s time we acknowledge the strength and resilience of women willing to face challenges and overcome obstacles to build the families they desire. To my mother, Elizabeth, my sisters, aunts, godmother, cousins, friends and every other woman out there who has ever loved a child as theirs. We celebrate, love and appreciate you. Today is your day. Happy Mother’s Day. Love,

Konye

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Sunday, March 19, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10167

OPINION; TEMS’S DRESS- THE TOPIC AND THE TOP PICK!

A double celebration for Bimbo and Kemi Ashiru

INTENTIONAL PR OR EVERYTHING WORKING TOGETHER FOR TEMS’S GOOD — AS ALWAYS. By Ayo Lawal

GOV ABDULRAHMAN ABDURAZAQ

GOV DAPO ABIODUN

AROLAKE ASHIRU

ATEDO PETERSIDE

n keeping with their annual tradition, Otunba Bimbo and Kemi Ashiru hosted a double celebration party for Bimbo’s birthday and their wedding anniversary. The event was a grand affair, with a guest list that included some of the most prominent names in the country. As usual, the Ashiru’s were the perfect host, ensuring all their invited guests were well taken care of and enjoyed the evening they celebrated with them. PHOTO: ABIODUN AJALA

CHICHI OKOYA THOMAS

BIMBO AND KEMI ASHIRU

BEERE DERIN AND AREMI OLUSEGUN OSOBA

HELEN AND BISI ONASANYA

SEGUN OGUNSANYA

DEBOLA AND DEJI OSIBOGUN

SEGUN OJO

SEGUN AWOLOWO

MUSILIU OBANIKORO

DAYO OWOTOMO

ERIC TENIOLA

KUNLE OYEWOLE

SENATOR MAMORA

ADE ADEDEJI

TITI ROTIMI AND PROF. TOYIN ASHIRU

MR SEGUN AND MERCY ADEYINKA

GWENDOLYN AND IKE NWACHUKWU

SENI ADIO

JIDE ONALAJA

TUNJI FOLAMI

wanted to make the most of the day. This dress says, ‘Yes, yes, I am here!’” True to her words, you didn’t attend the Oscars and did not know Tems Baby was in the building. My question is, did she and her team envision this level of rage for blocking people’s vision — see what I did there? Honestly, I’d say they were banking on it. And it was brilliant! For a very long time, a very, very long time, music and fashion have always had a relationship — especially if you are trying to play in the big leagues. From Lady Gaga’s meat dresses and unconventional red-carpet outfits to Nicki Minaj’s pink hair — and everything else — era, let’s not even get into Lil Nas X. The point is at one time in history, some of the biggest names in music, some of your favourite artists, have used fashion as a tool to push themselves and their work. Often not caring too much about who’s offended.

SHILE KASSIM

YOMI BADEJO-OKUSANYA

“She’s Rude,” one user wrote. “She had no respect for anyone behind her. She should be ashamed,” another one wrote. This was a pattern in the comment section of every major — and not-so-major — magazine, blog, website, media house; you name it. Everyone was talking about Tems’s “controversial” dress at the 95th Oscar Awards, in which she was nominated for her work with Rihanna on the “Wakanda Forever” track “Lift Me Up.”

JUMOKE ADEKEYE

TUNDE OSINOWO

In her own words, “It’s my first Oscars — I am going to go all out. I really wanted to make the most of the day. This dress says, ‘Yes, yes, I am here!’”

Attending her first-ever Oscars, Stylist Dunsin Wright put her in a custom white sculptural gown from Ukrainian fashion house Lever Couture’s AW22 Leleka Couture collection, a look that Tems described as “outside the box”, in her interview with Harper’s Bazaar. A look that she also admits is well befitting of the occasion. An ensemble that screams, I’m nominated on my first time attending the Oscars — step aside! In her own words, “It’s my first Oscars — I am going to go all out. I really

Yes, I agree a handful of people can say they had their direct view of the stage blocked by Tems. But is it really a moment if a few people don’t get pissed? I believe that if Tems hadn’t gone the dramatic route, the audience — especially those living under a rock and unaware of who Tems is — would see just another stunning black girl in a beautiful dress. But now, in the middle of all this ruckus, people are asking questions like, who is that? What’s her name? Who is she? I mean... IT’S THE OSCARS; almost all eyes are watching — at least the tastemakers. She definitely grabbed a lot of attention. Which is never really bad when you have a brand you’re actively trying to promote. I’m not performing and might not win the award, but you will know I’m here. You are going to know Tems was at the 2023 Oscars. I came across a tweet that said, “... and she looks like seat filler.” Just as quickly, one of our Nigerian sisters had to educate her. That’s an Oscar Nominee you better recognize!

Sunday, March 19, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10167

Timeless pieces are the new gold. One of the best ways to develop an ageless style is to invest in timeless pieces that never go out of style. For example, classic pieces such as a well-tailored blazer, a little black dress, and high-quality denim can be worn for years and will always look chic. In addition to conferring the ultimate chic title, these pieces are versatile and can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion, making them a great investment for your wardrobe. OYIN

MASTERING THE ART OF TIMELESS STYLE

Fit is key. The truth is, no matter your age, clothes that fit well will always look better. When shopping for clothes, find pieces that fit your body shape and size rather than focusing primarily on the design. Also, be bold about having items tailored to your specific measurements. You can never go wrong with a wellfitted blazer or dress, as they instantly elevate your outfit and make you look more polished and put together. VERONICA EBIE

By Shola-Adido Oladotun

Once upon a time, French fashion designer Yves Saint Laurent made a statement that changed people’s perceptions towards clothes and accessories. He said, “Fashion fades, but style is eternal.” This saying shows us that our clothes and accessories are major indicators of our personalities beyond wearing a well-tailored pencil skirt or a flowing tulle gown. Simply put, they tell people who we are without saying a word. Fashion has always been a way for people to express themselves. In an everevolving world filled with many voices via trends and several fashion dos and don’ts, it’s important to always stay true to your style. Developing an ageless style that properly reflects our personalities and individuality becomes even more important as we age. To help you get started, here are some tips to help you develop an ageless style that will make you feel confident and stylish at any age.

POWEDE AWUJO

OYIN

VERONICA EBIE

SAMMY WALSH

Choose quality over quantity. Instead of buying many cheap clothes, opt for fewer but higher-quality items. Yes, quality clothing might be the least budget-friendly choice, but it will last longer and look better, giving you a more sophisticated and polished appearance. Compared to fast-fading fabrics like linen, high-quality fabrics such as silk, cashmere, and wool look and feel better and maintain their shape and colour over time. SAMMY WALSH Accessorise carefully Accessories can be a good addition to an outfit but can, at the same time, mar it. This is why it’s important for you not to overdo it. Keep your accessorising to a minimum by opting for key pieces that truly complement your style and outfit. For example, you can go right with a classic leather handbag, stud earrings, and a silver watch. You could take things further by selecting a signature accessory. It could range from a scarf to a headband. POWEDE AWUJO

THESE ARE THE WOMEN CURRENTLY CHAMPIONING THE ALTERNATIVE MUSIC SCENE IN NIGERIA

TEMS

Tems, whose real name is Temilade Openiyi, is a

LADY DONLI

LESLIE OKOYE

OJY OKPE

singer, songwriter, and producer who rose to prominence after featuring on Wizkid’s hit song “Essence”. Her music combines soulful R&B with alternative and Afrobeat sounds, creating a unique style that sets her apart. Her debut E.P., “For Broken Ears,” generally received positive reviews from fans and music critics alike. She has worked with some of the biggest names on the international music scene and recently won a Grammy award.

Lady Donli

WAVY THE CREATOR

, whose real name is Zainab Donli, is a singer, songwriter, and producer who describes her music as “experimental Afro-fusion”. Her style draws inspiration from a variety of genres, including jazz, soul, and highlife. Donli is part of Nigeria’s Alté music scene, known for blending sounds from multiple genres of music. She spends most of her days on the road between Toronto, London and Lagos. Her music is just as vast as the roads she travels. However, one thing remains the same - the music is undeniably African.

Jennifer Ejoke, known professionally

Experiment with colours. While neutral colours seem like the safest options when selecting a skirt or top, steering towards brighter colours adds interest to your outfit. They make it pop. Life is too short to play it safe, so don’t be scared to experiment with different colours and find the shades that complement each other and flatter your skin tone. LESLIE OKOYE One size doesn’t fit all. There is no denying that everyone has a different body shape and understanding yours can help you choose clothes that flatter your figure. The best trick is to select clothes that show off your best features and find clothes that fit well. A well-fitted leopard print dress that flatters your curves or a pair of washed-out high-waisted denim jeans that elongate your legs can instantly make you look and feel more confident and stylish. OJY OKPE

Alternative music in Nigeria has been growing rapidly in recent years, with more and more artists exploring different sounds, genres, and styles beyond the traditional Afrobeat that the country is known for. In particular, the rise of female artists in the alternative music scene has been impressive, with many of them breaking down barriers and challenging societal norms while creating a new but uniquely Nigerian sound. As the alternative music scene grows, we can expect to see more talented artists emerge, bringing fresh sounds and perspectives. Until then, let’s celebrate these four women who are currently championing its growth.

as Wavy the Creator, is a singer, songwriter, and producer who creates music combining Afrobeat, R&B, and alternative elements. Her debut single “H.I.G.H.” (Her in Greater Heights) showcased her talent as a versatile artist and earned her an invitation to open for Skepta and his Boy Better Know crew at the Homecoming Africa concert in Lagos, performing alongside J Hus, Wizkid and Davido. Her music often features socially conscious themes, and she has been outspoken about issues related to women.

Amaarae, whose real name is Ama Serwah

AMAARAE

Genfi, is a Ghanaian-American singer, songwriter, and producer making waves in the Nigerian alternative music scene. Her debut album, “The Angel You Don’t Know”, was released in 2020 and received widespread critical acclaim. Her music combines R&B, soul, and electronic elements, with lyrics touching on personal and societal issues.

Sunday, March 19, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10167

THE STEPMOTHER

CONVERSATIONS WITH ADEOLA KINGSLEY-JAMES FLOWERS

Adeola Kingsley James is a remarkable individual who has accomplished much professionally and personally. She is an author, therapist, event producer, consultant, and global speaker. Despite her busy schedule, she also plays a crucial role as a stepmother to her partner’s children. Navigating the role of a stepmother can be challenging, but Adeola has managed to balance her responsibilities while maintaining a healthy relationship with her stepchildren. Despite her many accomplishments, her role as a stepmother is perhaps the most challenging one she has taken on. Being a stepmother comes with unique challenges, such as navigating the dynamics of a blended family and building a relationship with stepchildren. However, Adeola has approached this role with empathy, patience, and understanding. In this conversation, she shares with us the keys to her success as a stepmother and her opinion on the stereotypical “wicked stepmother” persona. For those who don’t know you, please tell us a bit about yourself. My name is Adeola KingsleyJames. I am a Certified Rapid Transformational Therapist and Hypnotherapist, Stepmom Coach, Television and Events Producer and Consultant, Author and Global Speaker. I was birthed by Legends of the television and Media industry in Nigeria, Tunde and Bimbo Oloyede. I am the Creator of Owning My Greatness ltd and Alife Force. A woman of many hats. Let’s go right in and talk about your role as a step mum. Did you entertain any initial fears? I honestly thought love was enough, so at the beginning, I did not have any fears; I thought my love for him could be extended to the kids. Little did I know I was making a big mistake but also taking a decision that would change my life forever. I was very ignorant of what I was getting into, and there was no support for people like us at the time. I am, however, grateful for the entire process because I turned my pain into my passion now, and I am helping other stepmoms navigate their journey and thriving in it as I am. What do you love most about being a stepmother? Extending myself to children I did not birth, loving them unconditionally and accepting them for who they are. They were and still are my teachers, and I love learning life through them. My growth through the process also. It is not the normal family dynamism, so my growth as a human being is something I will not trade in the world.

How do you celebrate Mother’s Day as a stepmother? I first celebrate myself always, and I buy myself gifts. LOL. I do not believe in one day to honour me. However, I know the world believes so, so I get love from them every day, and I also have a beautiful daughter who celebrates me also deeply. How do you handle discipline and parenting decisions as a stepmother? Hmm, I have conversations with their dad. I share my thoughts on the issue and allow him to take the major decisions where it concerns them, of course, with my support to execute where needed. How has your relationship with your stepchildren evolved over time? It is a natural relationship; we trust each other, and I love them for who they are without the pressure of loving them as my own children. We have a great, loving relationship now than we ever used to.

I thought my love for him could be extended to the kids. Little did I know I was making a big mistake but also taking a decision that would change my life forever.

What has been your biggest challenge, and how did you overcome it? Not knowing my place, not knowing I had a space in their lives. Wanting people to like me at all cost, giving of myself in unnatural ways and resenting people for not being grateful for my saviour role. So, I created my lane, stayed there and thrived there. I loved myself deeply and accepted myself for who I was, I treated myself better, and then I taught people how to treat me and love me the way I wanted to be loved, which also happened to them. I sought a lot of counsel from professionals and went through a lot of therapy to get me right. How do you balance your role as a stepmother with your relationship with your stepchildren’s biological mother? Their mother is late, unfortunately; however, she has family and friends. Initially, it was very rough, for we all did not trust each other and our intentions; however, we have grown to be civil and respectful towards each other.

How do you nurture your relationship with them? I spend a lot of time with them; we talk, laugh, go out, and play. They speak, I speak, and we share things. They also have their space to do the things they love to do without me being involved.

What’s your opinion on the stereotypical “wicked stepmother” persona? This title has given stepmothers a bad name and additional pressure to perform over, which I will spend every day of my life working on erasing and eliminating. It has put so much pressure on us stepmoms that we carry it on our shoulders without knowing it. So we have the double task of avoiding this name becoming a reality; even Hollywood created a Cinderella story that we all watched and still watch. It’s a tough call for stepmoms to deal with this stigma and bad name. And I implore people to allow us to change this narrative, so more blended families survive without the title lurking on our heads. The role is not the issue; it’s the person in question, for there are wicked mothers, too, aren’t there? Any advice for any woman who’s about to take up this role? Try to seek help first; YOU CAN NOT DO THIS ON YOUR OWN. You can not navigate this journey alone; no one can prepare you for it either. I did not have anyone help me, hence coming out to create an organisation that helps blended families and stepmoms. I went through all I did for a reason hence writing two books, STEP OUT, STEP MOM, and DEAR STEP MOM, which is a workbook to take you through the process of finding yourself. This also comes with a course that I created especially for stepmothers. Please seek help first. I cannot say this enough. You can also call me so I can help guide you through this process and make it easier.

ALIEN GODDESS

GIORGIO ARMANI SI

ORIKI SPA HELEN PREST- AJAYI _ DAUGHTER TIFFANY ANNABELL DAVIES

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Sunday, March 19, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10167

REDEFINING EMPOWERMENT

CHIOMA UZODIMMA

COVER

Sunday, March 19, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10167

FIDA IMO WEEK 2022

HOSPITAL VISIT - IMO

Despite her youth and relative lack of political experience, H E Chioma Uzodimma has shown herself to be a capable and effective First Lady. As a lawyer, she has always been interested in human rights and advocacy, and she has brought this passion to her current role. Her focus on the well-being of women and children in Imo state has resonated with many, and her initiatives have already positively impacted the lives of many people in the state. Since becoming the First Lady, Chioma has continued her philanthropic activities through her foundation- GoodHope Flourish Foundation, particularly in healthcare, education, and women empowerment. She has also been actively involved in the fight against gender-based violence and has been an advocate for the rights of the girl child. Her every action proves that she understands that being a First Lady is not just about occupying a position of privilege but also an opportunity to serve and positively impact people’s lives. In this interview with Konye Chelsea Nwabogor, she talks about the activities of GoodHope Flourish Foundation, how she balances her responsibilities as a wife, mother and First Lady and the need for peace in Imo State and Nigeria as a whole. Can you tell us about some of the major initiatives you have undertaken as the First Lady of Imo State? Working in collaboration with the State Ministry of Women Affairs and Vulnerable Groups, my office has actually been able to actualise a whole lot. From the sponsorship of the Violence Against Persons Prohibition (VAPP) law to sharing the VAPP law with relevant agencies and the law courts to prosecuting Genderbased Violence (GBV) cases. We have also collaborated with UNICEF in campaigning to end Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), and I recently launched the Sexual Assault Referral Center (SARC) building. At the moment, we are working on a request to the Governor and Imo State House of Assembly for the fundamental right of a female to participate in the inheritance of her deceased father’s estate to be domesticated in Imo State. In the areas of empowerment, we have empowered widows and indigent women with economic interventions to over 131 widows and families. For economic stability, we have set up small-scale businesses for widows and indigent women and, in collaboration with some philanthropists, built houses for indigent women in the State. For the inclusiveness of women in the scheme of governance, we have championed the appointment of women into key positions in the State. It is an ongoing process, as you can see. Also, working with the Governors’ Wives Forum, we have carried out drug education and campaigned to end drug use amongst women

FMC HOSPITAL VISIT - IMO

and reconnected several girls and young ladies trafficked to other States with their families. Let’s talk about the widows; you have been actively involved in charitable work for widows, children and physically challenged individuals. How did it all start? Giving is a huge part of my life. I grew up learning the values of doing good and sharing with people around me. Let me tell you a story. When I was younger, whenever my mother got us new clothes, she usually asked my brothers and me to sort out the ones we had outgrown into a bag. We then donated to our church and neighbouring orphanages. Additionally, I am married to someone who is passionate about giving, so it has become a way of life. How do you balance your responsibilities as a wife and mother with your role as the First Lady of Imo State? Finding how to balance everything is the only way to make it work. I try to balance my work and personal life considerably; I have my working hours and personal time. As an African woman, my husband and children are my topmost priority. I have to take care of my husband’s personal needs, cook for him and talk about the children. I spend quality time with my children; I speak to them, and when we are not together, I speak to them on video call. I have a supportive family, friends, and staff; as the saying goes, it takes a village.

Sunday, March 19, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10167

COVER

Sunday, March 19, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10167

INTL WIDOWS DAY - IMO

FIRST LADY’S VISIT IMO STATE SPECIALIST HOSPITAL UMUGUMA - IMO

How have you collaborated with other stakeholders and government officials to achieve your goals and objectives as the First Lady of Imo State? Through constant engagement with relevant civil society organisations, my office and the Imo State House Committee on Gender have domesticated the VAPP bill in Imo State. This was signed into law on December 15, 2021. We did not stop there as we continued to lobby for women’s and girl-child rights in Imo State. My office has also worked with well-meaning Imolites and stakeholders to build houses for homeless and indigent widows across different local government areas in Imo State. In fact, on International Women’s Day (IWD), we handed the latest of the houses to Madam Ezette, a widow who lived in a mud house without a roof. Let me use this opportunity to thank those who have partnered with us, but like Oliver twist, I want to ask more Imolites to work with us to be our brother’s keepers.

What challenges have you faced in your role as the First Lady of Imo State, and how have you overcome them? With everything in life, there are challenges. The most important thing is to be very intentional about how you live your life. First, as the wife of the Governor of Imo State, I am a public figure, but I also have a right to privacy. Not many people understand that, but I have continued to keep my private life separate from the work that I do to support my husband’s administration. Another challenge I face is balancing my personal life and public duties as I am involved in a wide range of public events and initiatives while also being a wife, mom, daughGiving is a huge part ter, sister, friend, etc. of my life. I grew up Trust me, this can be a juggling act, but like I learning the values said earlier, having a community of family, friends of doing good and and a supportive team has made it easier for me. sharing with people Unfortunately, insecurity has hampered some of around me.... I am what I would have achieved as the Wife of the Governor of Imo State. Certain projects for wommarried to someone en and girls would have easily been executed who is passionate through my office if not for the insecurity chalabout giving, so it has lenges we faced in the State, hence the need for become a way of life.. peace. Regardless, acknowledging that the work

I do in support of my husband is an act of service and impact makes it a lot easier to deal with the challenges. In what ways has your background in law prepared you for your current role as the First Lady? Two critical skills among the very many skills of a lawyer are advocacy and empathy, and these two skills have played a major role in how I approach my work as the Wife of the Governor of Imo State of Imo State. As a lawyer, you have developed a deep understanding of the needs and concerns of others, and you have learned to approach issues with empathy and compassion. I am constantly advocating for causes that will better the lives of women, children, and vulnerable groups in Imo State. I have led awareness campaigns and marched across the State to support these groups. This has helped me identify with people going through difficult challenges and has seen me intervening in many abuse cases, such as the case of the Baby Miracle, who lost his arm because his father beat him at two months for being hungry. I not only made sure he got the best of medical attention but worked with the police to issue a warrant for the arrest of his abusive father. I also gave financial aid to the victim’s mother and grandmother for their welfare and to start a small business. Of course, in many other cases, in partnership with the Ministry of Women Affairs and Vulnerable Groups, we have done our best to intervene and bring succour to the victims.

How do you plan to continue your philanthropic work and initiatives beyond your husband’s tenure as the Governor of Imo State? Philanthropy is not tied to a public portfolio. As such, I plan to continue my work as an advocate for equal rights for all, implementation of the SDG goals and other impactful initiatives through my brainchild, The GoodHope Flourish Foundation, which focuses on improving the quality of health care delivery for pregnant women/adolescent girls and providing extensive care to infants through nutrition and immunisation. My team of volunteers and I will be expanding our scope to the sensitisation of personal hygiene, safe practices and mental health awareness. Not leaving behind the promotion of quality education as a fundamental human right through ensuring equal access and support for conducive learning. We will also be looking at creating campaign programs that span across the prevention and management of infectious diseases and infected persons while advocating for the elimination of gender-based violence, female genital mutilation and the support for gender equality and human rights. How do you ensure that your work as the First Lady of Imo State aligns with your personal values and beliefs? The most important thing for me was identifying my values and beliefs; then, I evaluated my new position to determine whether it aligned with them. Since then, I made a mental note to stay true to them, irrespective of what I did. However, I am also in a position that requires me to seek personal and professional growth, so I continuously reevaluate these personal values and beliefs and extend myself grace when the time comes for me to evolve. Can you describe a particularly memorable moment or experience during your time as the First Lady of Imo State? It has to be the domestication of the Violence Against Persons Prohibition (VAPP) Act in Imo State, which was done by my dear husband, His Excellency Distinguished Senator Hope Uzodimma, on my birthday, December 15, 2021. I look forward to more feats. Let’s talk about the women in your initiatives and programs as the First Lady of Imo State. How do you ensure they stay involved and empowered? Our empowerment programs are packaged in a manner that targeted beneficiaries are chosen across the 27 LGAs of Imo State. For those who indicated an interest in learning skills, we not

HARVEST PLUS NUTRITIOUS FOOD FAIR - IMO

only trained them but also empowered them with their tools of the trade, including but not limited to one hundred pieces of Sewing Machines and salon kits distributed across the 27 all LGAs in Imo State. A total of one hundred and fifty pieces of Outdoor Barbecue Grill Stoves and Monetary Gifts were also distributed to women from different groups across the LGAs to complete Phase One of the Imo Women Empowerment Scheme. My office has also undertaken routine hospital visits to support indigent people and vulnerable groups to access better healthcare and, in some cases, offset hospital bills. Then there’s the collaboration with the State Ministry of Women Affairs and Vulnerable Groups, where we have continued to rescue, rehabilitate and resettle victims of abuse and molestation while taking our advocacy against gender-based violence and sexual abuses to the various communities across the State. We have also supported and reunited some of our girls and children trafficked to other States in the country and the world. Time will not permit me to share all that we have done, but my office is open to you at any time to hear and see more of the work that we are doing. What advice do you usually share with these young girls and women who, despite all odds, aspire to succeed in their careers and positively impact their communities? I always remind them that hard work combined with prayer guarantees success. There is no shortcut to life. You must believe in yourself, The most important dare to dream, and do your best at any given thing for me was point in time. Remember, your biggest enemy identifying my values is your self-doubt and inaction. Pray and have and beliefs; then, I faith in God; all your desires will be met. What message do you have for the people of Imo State and Nigeria, especially in these challenging times? I am calling on everyone to get involved in promoting peace in Imo State and Nigeria as a whole. We need a collective effort to achieve peace; everyone must join hands to fulfil this. When there is peace, there will be development.

evaluated my new position to determine whether it aligned with them. Since then, I made a mental note to stay true to them, irrespective of what I did 17

Sunday, March 19, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10167

SELF-CARE TIPS FOR BUSY MOMS.

HERE’S HOW TO CREATE A CAPSULE WARDROBE THAT LASTS

By Bukola Amoboye

For most mothers, self-care is the last thing they think about. Who has the time between taking care of the kids, your home, and possibly working? But this is where you get it wrong! Everyone is entitled to self-care! You can only adequately care for others if you also care for yourself. Avoid physical, mental and emotional burnout by intentionally engaging in self-care activities. We know it seems like too much to do with too little time, and all you prefer to do during your free time is sleep, but we assure you it’s worth it. We’ve narrowed down a few simple activities you can try to imbibe as part of your self-care routine.

A capsule wardrobe is a collection of essential clothing items that can be mixed and matched to create a variety of outfits. Creating one is a great way to simplify your closet and create a lasting functional wardrobe. The key to a successful capsule wardrobe is choosing high-quality, timeless pieces that stand the test of time. Here are some tips on how to create a capsule wardrobe that lasts.

Exercise: This sounds like a chore you don’t want to get into

Invest in good accessories.

Accessories can make or break an outfit, so it’s important to invest in high-quality pieces that will last. Look for timeless accessories like a classic leather handbag, simple earrings, and a versatile scarf.

but hear us out. Exercising makes you feel good about yourself, improves your physical and mental well-being, and makes you feel light and ready to take on other activities. It also gives you some much-needed me-time. We recommend taking it outside of the house; go for a jog or use a gym. You probably already spend too much time around the house anyway.

Spa Treats: Treat yourself to a spa at least once or twice a

month.

Lunch Dates: Set up lunch dates with your friends or other busy moms with whom you share certain things in common. It’s a great way for everyone to relax, socialise, catch up, enjoy good food and engage in mature conversations.

ELOHOR ELIZABETH AISIEN

Define your personal style

Before you start building your capsule wardrobe, it’s important to define your style. Take some time to think about the type of clothing you feel most comfortable in and the colours and patterns you love. This will help you choose pieces you’ll enjoy wearing.

Shopping: You don’t even have to buy a truckload of things, be

intentional about buying something new for yourself at least twice a month. Forget the kid’s clothes and toys for a minute and buy something for yourself only. Even when you feel low but don’t have the funds to splurge, go window shopping! Window shopping is almost just as therapeutic as actual shopping.

Build your skills: Think of one thing you loved doing before

motherhood came into play but have yet to have the time to go back to; painting, drawing, knitting, graphics, writing, etc. Whatever it is, make plans to engage in that activity at least once a week.

Journaling: It may seem silly, but studies and testimonies of those who practice prove that it is a great way to unburden your mind and process your thoughts and feelings.

FALANA

As with every self-care practice, you must be intentional and not feel guilty about wanting something for yourself. IFY OKOYE AND JULIE PINNICK

Choose pieces that fit well.

9 18

ISABELLA RUTH

A well-fitted piece of clothing can make a huge difference in how you look and feel. When building a capsule wardrobe, choosing parts that fit well is important. Take the time to try on clothes and find items that match your body well. Invest in alterations to ensure that your clothing fits you perfectly.

KATE HENSHAW

Choose high-quality, versatile pieces.

It’s important to choose high-quality, versatile pieces that can be mixed and matched to create a variety of outfits. Look for pieces made from high-quality materials and avoid trendy items that are likely to go out of style quickly. Some key pieces to include in your capsule wardrobe might include a well-fitted blazer, a pair of dark-wash jeans, a white button-up shirt, and a little black dress. These items can be dressed up or down and can be worn for a variety of occasions

MAZZI ODU

Stick to a neutral colour palette.

To ensure that your capsule wardrobe is versatile and timeless, it’s best to stick to a neutral colour palette. Colours like black, white, beige, grey, and navy are timeless and can be mixed and matched easily. You can add pops of colour with accessories like scarves and jewelry.

Sunday, March 19, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10167

‘’IF I HAD KNOWN THAT MY CHILDREN WERE DESTINED TO ARRIVE EIGHT YEARS LATER, I MAY HAVE BEEN MORE RESILIENT IN THE FACE OF PAIN AND FEAR.’’

TEMS

- Hadiza Raisa Okoya Alao-Akala

Infertility is a major challenge that affects millions of women around the world. In Nigeria, it is a particularly sensitive issue that is often surrounded by cultural stigmas and myths. However Hadiza Raisa Okoya Alao-Akala refused to let this identity define her life. Eight years, 14 IVFs and multiple miscarriages (including 24-week-old boy/girl twins and 17-weekold identical triplet girls) after, her persistence and determination paid off, and she gave birth to the most beautiful twin babies - a boy and a girl. Hadiza’s journey to motherhood is a testament to the power of perseverance, faith and determination and how they can help us overcome even the most difficult challenges in life. Her story, which also highlights the need to raise awareness about infertility and break its stigma, is a reminder that with the right support, information, and mindset, any woman can overcome the challenges of infertility and realise their dreams of becoming a mother.

HADIZA OKOYA ALAO-AKALA

As Africans, Some people have talked about the pressure the waiting period puts on their marriages and relationships with friends and inlaws. What was your experience like?

children thrive.

I consider myself extremely fortunate to have had the support of in-laws who did not impose undue pressure upon me during my efforts to conceive. Hearing the stories of those struggling with external pressures and negative experiences was quite disheartening. However, my husband and I had established a strong foundation that gave me a remarkable support system. Throughout my journey, my husband stood steadfastly by my side, advocating for me and providing me with the emotional support I needed. Additionally, my mother-in-law, who had undergone a similar struggle, could relate to my situation and offer her empathy and understanding.

These two little humans are constantly at the forefront of my mind, shaping my every decision and influencing my daily routines. Their presence in my life has transformed my perspective on parenthood, causing me to realize that the clichéd notion of putting one’s children first is indeed a reality. This new mindset has made me more disciplined and focused, driving me to change my lifestyle, fitness routine, and diet to set an example for my children. My goal is to be a positive role model for them, a person they can look up to and aspire to emulate. I do not make excuses, as I am committed to being the best possible version of myself for my children.

How were you at this time able to maintain a positive outlook? A strong support system, coupled with my husband’s unwavering love and commitment, played a critical role in my journey to conceive. Throughout the process, my husband consistently demonstrated his unwavering support and devotion, ensuring that I never felt devalued or discouraged. We remained determined and persistent, continuing our efforts to conceive year after year. This perseverance instilled in me a sense of hope and confidence that one day, my dreams of having children would come to fruition. What was your reaction when you discovered you were finally expecting your babies?

Can you share with us the journey you went through while battling infertility? I faced significant challenges in my journey to conceive, which lasted for eight years and included several miscarriages and health complications. Despite the difficulties, I attribute my personal growth and development to this journey and am grateful for the valuable lessons it taught me. It also heightened my capacity for empathy and compassion towards others, inspiring a sense of purpose in giving back more to society. How did you prepare yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally for motherhood during that time?

HADIZA OKOYA WITH HUSBAND, OLAMIJUWONLO ALAO-AKALA AND THEIR TWIN BABIES AFTER EIGHT YEARS OF MARRIAGE

Although I initially approached the situation with enthusiasm, I soon encountered significant pain and disappointment as I grappled with the possibility that motherhood may not be in my future. Honestly, my experience trying to conceive profoundly impacted me to the point where I became emotionally desensitized to the process. Despite my immense emotional burden, I found solace in God and continued to trust in his plan for me, holding onto the hope that a miracle could still occur.

By approaching the situation with empathy and patience, couples can navigate the challenges of infertility and come out stronger on the other side.

Upon discovering I was finally pregnant, I was ecstatic; I felt profound joy and relief. However, due to the pain of previous experiences, which included miscarriages at 24 and 17 weeks, I was cautious about allowing myself to become overly excited. The news was so overwhelming that I struggled to process it, and even now, I still find it difficult to believe that my children are finally here. Looking back, I realize that if I had known that my children were destined to arrive eight years later, I may have been more resilient in the face of pain and fear. Has your experience of motherhood differed from your expectations?

No, it has not. Although my journey to motherhood has been challenging, the pressure to excel in this role has only intensified. With the arrival of my children, I feel a renewed sense of urgency to be the best mother possible and to provide them with everything they need to succeed. As a result, I am acutely aware of the demands of this new phase in my life and feel a strong sense of responsibility to meet the challenge head-on. The stakes are high, and I am determined to do everything possible to ensure my

How has motherhood changed you as a person?

How has your relationship with your children evolved since their birth? From the beginning, I’ve always loved to play with them as if they were the best toys. I find so much joy in their playful nature and can’t resist the urge to join in on the fun. It’s impossible to resist their charm and the pure happiness they bring. Playing with them is simply one of life’s greatest pleasures, and I cherish every moment of it. Being a mother has taught me so much about myself and has brought immense joy to my life. It has been an incredibly emotional and rewarding journey. Watching my children grow and mature into unique individuals with distinct personalities has been an indescribable experience. My daughter’s personality is similar to mine, and my son’s personality is identical to his father’s. Witnessing them reach each milestone has filled me with joy and a sense of pride. As they have progressed through each stage, I have had to learn how to adapt to their changing needs and educate myself on how to be the best mother I can be. Every day, I am learning new things and evolving from the kind of mother I want to be to the mother they need me to be. Are there any specific challenges or joys that come with having a child after waiting for an extended period? Any examples? Although I am filled with joy and gratitude to finally have my children, I must admit that I sometimes feel guilty about not being as involved as I would like to be. It’s difficult for me to be away from them, even for a short time, as I feel like I have waited so long to have them in my life. This guilt is especially pronounced when I have to travel for work or when I am unwell and can’t play with them as much as I would like. Despite these feelings, I remind myself that I am doing my best and am fortunate to have a supportive partner and a loving family to help care for them when I am not around. What advice do you have for other couples battling infertility and trying to conceive? Put God first. Every situation has its lesson to be learned, and it’s important to be openminded and receptive to what God wants for you during that time. Dealing with infertility can be a challenging experience for a couple, so it’s important not to let the situation come between you. It’s important to be respectful and understanding of each other’s feelings because we all process situations differently as individuals. It’s also important to give each other space when needed to process and deal with emotions. By approaching the situation with empathy and patience, couples can navigate the challenges of infertility and come out stronger on the other side.

Sunday, March 19, 2023 Vol. 22, No. 10167

The Shed Restaurant The Shed Restaurant is a recently launched fine dining in Lekki, Lagos. This Asian fusion restaurant is highly commended for impeccable food, drinks and customer service. Its ambience is decorated rather artistically with an interesting colour pop that gives the space an electrified vibe. This space is suitable for dinner dates, group gatherings, birthdays and a special Mother’s Day outing. So, provided your mum isn’t closed out to exploring some Asian delicacies with continental options, then I guess all should be just fine. Taj Restaurant Taj Restaurant has to have one of the most versatile menus I’ve ever come across, considering how Indian they may sound. Located at Victoria Island, they serve a list of Italian, Mexican, Japanese and African cuisines. The ambience is a well-lit see-through restaurant with glass walls and a fresh, cohesive interior design that does justice to the feel of the space. With an option of the dining sitters and the couches, your mum wouldn’t mind getting comfortable when she tries out this spot. The Good Life Restaurant The Good Life Restaurant is a five-star establishment launched by a leading luxury hospitality brand named “SRS Collection”. It’s located at the heart of Victoria Island, with an amazing waterfront view, possibly making it one of Lagos’s most upscale restaurants. The Good Life restaurant is nicely decorated and is bound to blow anyone’s mind with the level of acumen put into how creative and detailed the place turned out. With food to die for, there is no other kind of sophistication that can match up to their dining standard. Ci Gusta Lagos ResturantCi Gusta Lagos is an Italian-themed restaurant in Victoria Island. Their food is always fresh and well-seasoned, just like typical Italian cuisine. Plus, they have a range of baked foods which would do well in curing mama’s sweet tooth. It has a well-lit space with lots of natural lighting, and its ambience is a minimalist set-up with a decent-sized play area for the kids, just in case you simultaneously plan on spending your launch date with mum and the rest of the family, that honestly wouldn’t be a bad idea. Maple Lagos Restaurant Maple Restaurant can be considered as a New York Style Resto-Bar, located within Lekki, Lagos. The space is very well-lit and artistically curated for mingling and being able to manoeuvre easily. With an impressive cultural blend of international cuisines like; French, Italian, American and Jamaican, while complimenting your meal with authentic cocktails or a unique selection of wines from around the world. It’s a sister restaurant to Cafeteria, which has gradually become the go-to for breakfast/brunch for most foodies. Maple also gets really busy most times, so it’s advisable to make a reservation, especially if you do not intend to keep your mum waiting. Cheers!

THE SHED RESTAURANTS

TAJ RESTAURANT (IMAGE BY EAT DRINK LAGOS )

MAPLE RESTAURANT

FIVE SPOTS TO TAKE MUM FOR DINNER Have you made any plans to take your mum out today? If not, then you’re in luck because we are about to make an addition to your itinerary. You should spend quality time with your mum this weekend, and as we all know, the best way to the heart is through deliciously prepared food; we suggest that you get mum all dolled up and ready to explore her taste palettes, as well as explore a different ambience for a change. The restaurants listed below are considerably new, with top-notch service. They provide a comfortable dining set-up, relaxation areas and great outdoor views to chill while you wait for dinner. By Charles Didee Eta THE GOOD LIFE

CI GUSTA