Tony Quiroga

Backfires

S I C YO U R D O G S O N U S AT: E D I TO R S @ C A R A N D D R I VE R.C O M

CIVIC YES

In your article about the Honda Civic Si, you refer to it as being in the compact-sedan segment [“Sticking with It, ” February/March 2022]. It’s been a mid-size car for a while now. Why not call it that? —Peter Fiddler Seattle, WA I love watching all the new EVs come to market, but I’m disappointed in Honda. As a loyal Honda fan who has had the same Civic Si sedan for 15 years, I’m ready for an electric one. I don’t want to spend over $40,000, I don’t want an SUV or dorky hatch/lozenge, and I don’t need 400 miles of range in a city car. Since Tesla apparently quit working on a $25K car, here’s your chance, Honda—make an electric Civic that looks and drives like your new Si and start printing money. While I would miss the sound and the manual, I’m willing to make the sacrifice if you are. —Eric Fransted Boise, ID

LOW RANGER

With other EV makers going for range and performance, why is Mazda’s first EV, the MX-30, so underwhelming [“Short-Distance Runaround, ” February/March 2022]? Was their goal to be a minuscule fish in the big ocean? —Mike Matter Sunnyvale, CA Regarding the Mazda MX-30. I vote “No. ”

—Robert Curiale Nowheresville

PENALTY SHOTS

The article “Know Why I Pulled You Over?” [February/March 2022] described how drivers can be gouged with added fees tacked on to basic fines for

Long time gone

t noon on a Wednesday, then C/D editor-at-large John Phillips appeared in the lobby at Automobile Magazine. I worked near the

Aelevator and had become accustomed to the metal doors parting to reveal heroes. P.J. O’Rourke, Bruce McCall, Brock Yates, and even John Oates of Hall and Oates all stopped by, but it wasn ’t until Phillips visited that I felt compelled to say something.

Hired by C/D editor-in-chief William Jeanes after simply asking for a job, Phillips went to work, work that had him ingesting puppy dewormer while driving a Toyota Land Cruiser over the Himalayas to evacuate, well, worms and winning a Camel Trophy in the jungles of Borneo. He and a partner attempted a nonstop drive from New York to San Francisco locked in a 1997 Volkswagen Jetta diesel outfitted with a 68-gallon fuel tank and a hole in the floor for bladder relief. After a blizzard in Nebraska forced them to stop, they carried on to San Fran, then turned around and completed the 3000-mile salute to claustrophobia and fifth gear.

Phillips ’ s visit to Automobile coincided with the C/D issue containing his 2002 Cadillac Escalade EXT road test. If you don ’t recall it, I’ll jog your memory. There ’ s a photo of a large white dog perched in the passenger ’ s seat of the Cadillac pickup with a caption reading, “Later on, the dog drove us home. ”

I awkwardly introduced myself, while attempting to hide my supafan-level excitement. He was gracious, although his mien said, “You ’ re scaring me, kid. ”

At C/D, Phillips would come in twice a week and work behind a photo annex in an office he dubbed “the cold room. ” Lunch meant a BLT at Banfield’ s, a sticky dive bar with a Pall Mall fog and the unmistakable chemical scent of urinal cake number 4. Phillips described it as the perfect place to dine if you were cheating because no one you know would ever step foot in there. If that’ s not worthy of a Michelin star, then I don ’t know how stars are earned.

In addition to schooling me on where to eat and cheat, he taught me a lesson about overdriving an unfamiliar road. I’d been laying chase to his Dodge SRT-4 ACR with a Subaru Impreza WRX. I missed him slowing for a bridge with a 15-mph recommended speed. Thinking that he hadn ’t changed his pace, I went over it fast enough to send the WRX into a full Ken Block. Flight WRX landed hard enough to punch out the front fender liners, eject the Creedence from the CD player, and flip the mirror from day to night.

It occurs to me that this column may lead you to believe Phillips has died. Despite Montana ’ s many attempts on his life, he is alive. The first of what I hope to be many new contributions is on page 60. If that’ s not enough for you, and it shouldn ’t be, pick up his new book about life in Montana, find yourself a Banfield’ s, order a BLT and a Pabst, and read it. If you ’ re lucky, he might just walk in.

T O N Y Q U I R O G A

moving violations, but that’s only half of it. Moving violations are reported to drivers’ insurance companies, which levy additional “fines” by increasing monthly charges for a period of their choosing. Total cost for the ticket is considerably higher. —Jack Tockston Gig Harbor, WA

BUY BUY BUY

“’New and novel’ is a bad reason to buy a car that you plan to keep longer than six months” [“Motor Kombat, ” February/March 2022]. Ahh, Dyer. Where were you when I was buying my ‘95 Dodge Neon? —Shawn M. Kelly Harrisburg, PA He was in his high-school parking lot leaning against a Camaro—Ed.

Longtime subscriber, first time nitpicker. In his column, Dyer writes, “Gravity is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. ” Well, gravity isn’t a force, it’s an effect. Check out time dilation. And it isn’t all that strong, either. There, I said it, and I feel much better. —John Arthur Santa Ana, CA

INTO THE FIRE

Though I enjoy the articles in each issue, particularly anything Corvette related, I must admit I really enjoy Backfires! Ed. ’s responses are frequently hysterical and usually spot on! —Penny Price Bloomington, IN Your Backfires pages are a gem! My favorite. I’m convinced that gearheads are posing as car fans when they are some of the most creative humor writers in the business. If Hearst wants to start up a humor magazine, hire your pen pals! —Herb Mosher Orchard Park, NY

Editor-in-Chief Tony Quiroga

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I am not a car guy by any stretch of the imagination. The evidence would be my purchase of a 1982 Oldsmobile Cutlass Cruiser station wagon with an Oldsmobile diesel engine. However, I became a subscriber because of the unparalleled quality and style of your writing. —Neil Leitner Vancouver, WA From one former Olds diesel owner to another, I think you might be a car guy—Ed. You know how they don’t publish Penthouse anymore, just Letters to Penthouse. —Joe Reiman Tucson, AZ

CURIOSITIES

Are there any microcars available in the USA that can use a house plug for charging? —Kay Miller Pittsfield Township, MI Pow, pow, Power Wheels—Ed.

Would it be possible to investigate the possibility of a car driver’s left leg becoming atrophied? The right leg and foot operate the brakes and accelerator, and, in the past, the right foot operated the starter. Also in the past, the left leg and foot controlled the clutch, the headlight dimmer switch, and, possibly, the windshield-washer pump. Now in cars with automatic everything, the left leg just sits in one place with nothing to do. Perhaps, a medical professional would have an opinion. —John Magness Emailville, USA Four out of five doctors we called didn’t answer their phones. The fifth one hung up on us—Ed.

Why do cars need air-filled tires instead of using something that won’t go boom over a nail? Can’t suspension make up for tractor-type tires?

—Ezra Baltimore, MD Stop trolling, Ezra—Ed.