RUNNING REPORT – V12E-TYPE

E IS FOR EXHIBITIONIST

Peter’s E-type gains a title, and he becomes uncharacteristically precious over its appearance – that doesn’t last long, though…

WORDS & PHOTOGRAPHY: PETER SIMPSON

Kermit, my emphatically green E-type was elevated to nobility during our recent tour of the Highlands and Islands, when a character named Lord Kermit appeared in a novel my daughter

Peter’s E-type takes centre stage at JLR Classic Works

At the Classic Motor Show – please do not touch the exhibits! happened to be reading at the time. Evidently this was predestined or maybe the author had been inspired by my modest contributions to Classic Jaguar magazine and borrowed the name for his dashing hero. As if vitalised by this dignified status (Lord) Kermit has continued to perform flawlessly, although my definition of the word is qualified by a lifetime of mechanical misfortune where one hundred percent perfection is a myth. Nevertheless, the only minor issues to develop were a mild pulling to the left and a niggling vibration at speeds above 60mph. This was curious because the identical steering defect had been banished when my trusted garage (Smallman Hall of Bridgnorth) had comprehensively re-aligned the steering geometry. Subsequent investigations confirmed that the geometry remained sound and the wheel balancing spot on, but a simple cross-rotation of front wheels cunningly resolved both faults. Voila!

For full disclosure I am perhaps culpable for this occurrence through parsimony. Lord K’s tyres are getting on a bit, although boast generous tread depth and exhibit no traces of cracking. If it wasn’t for the age stamp you would guess they were fairly new and this helped persuade me to keep them and concentrate expenditure elsewhere. Nonetheless, despite apparent visual perfection, rubber hardens with age and compromises the running characteristics so it looks like the end of the road has come for these aged Pirellis.

SHOW TIME

As the organiser of the monthly Jaguar Breakfast Club (my self-appointed roles include Global Events Director and Dogsbody), I am privileged to literally fly the flag at gatherings with the club banners adorning my Jaguars. Obviously having an E-type makes our outfit look almost professional and Kermit regularly takes the stage, such as the recent meeting held at the prestigious Jaguar Classic Works, home to the exceptional continuations, recreations and reborn projects for classic Jaguars. As a working vehicle, normally the car receives no more

than cursory oily rag preparation but the next showcase for the Breakfast Club was to be a stand at the NEC Classic Motor Show, where the harsh lights of the halls cruelly highlight any flaws in paintwork. I thought some serious advance cleaning would be prudent. With time pressing and lack of adequate equipment for a professional machine polish I entrusted Kerm to Elite Vehicle Valeting, a mobile service that works closely with Smallman Hall. The results were impressive and undoubtedly added a swagger to my presence on the stand when visitors asked if the E-type belonged to me.

Club stands are an integral attraction at the Classic Motor Show because owners invariably display impressive examples from their membership pool and complement the trade presence to provide a fully rounded experience for visitors. If you have ever wondered about exhibiting your Jaguar at the NEC as part of a club stand the good news is that it costs nothing to do so. Whilst you do receive free garaging for the weekend, the price comes from your personal efforts to get it there on the Thursday and take it home on the Sunday evening. This entails either leaving the car with your colleagues on the stand or staying with it to keep an eye on your pride and joy. Thankfully most visitors to the show are respectful but there are always the clumsily inquisitive and unless you place the vehicle behind ropes you have to expect that people will touch it everywhere and try to open doors. Normally with ‘Kermit the workhorse’ that would not bother me too much, although after the detailing transformation into ‘Lord Kermit the Fair’ I was a little more protective!

DRIVE TIME

Remaining in showroom condition did not last long because with winter looming, I was keen to resume countrywide explorations in pursuit of material for my next touring guidebook. One chapter I particularly I hoped to accomplish was an outing through the Chiltern Hills, which I consider to be at their finest under the glow of Autumn colour. A promising forecast saw my departure, although unfortunately the roads were filthy from recent storms, and cool temperatures at this time of year suggested little opportunity for drying out. As a result, the E-type was a muddy embarrassment by the time we got there and I wasted a couple of hours and several gallons of E5 forlornly searching Oxfordshire for a jet wash. There were plenty of brush car washes and ‘hand wash’ establishments but the fear of creating swirls on Lord K’s recently restored paintwork meant I would rather give those a miss. Driving across the Chiltern Ridgeway on the cusp of December saw me as the only classic Jaguar on the road, attracting astonished glances from on-lookers who are only accustomed to such visions on a balmy summer’s day. I well remember the horror of one owner I encountered when he discovered I actually use my E-type during the winter months, which he proclaimed as displaying a lack of respect for a vehicle that should be unreservedly pampered. Back in 1972 when my E-type was being built there was little consideration given to rustproofing new vehicles and with inevitable consequences. Doubtless my own car had already succumbed to corrosion by the time of its restoration, however, that also included extensive underseal treatment and, in my opinion, the odd excursion on potentially salty roads can be carefully managed, particularly if the grime is washed off promptly. At home I use a sprinkler system for under chassis cleaning during the treacherous gritting months. It could be, therefore, that in the coming months my reports may include the sight of a noble E-type on snowy mountain roads, to which some will recoil in disapprobation while others might just be a touch envious. Please do write in and let us know your thoughts on winter driving for classics, addressing all vitriol to the Editor and any understanding support to me… ■

“A Filthy Embarrassment” - Chequers is the country home of the Prime Minister although the idea is not to get there across country!

Mission accomplished – Autumn in the Chilterns provides stunning material for Peter’s next touring guide