The Importance of Dad

in a Child’s Life

by Dr. Elaine Fogel Schneider, Ph.D., CCC-SLP, BC-DMT, CGP

The third Sunday in June is set aside to honor fathers in the United States. However, when people think of parenting, it is most often the mother who comes to mind as the loving, warm, and supportive figure every child needs. Often, the father is seen as the disciplinarian, a necessary but less endearing role.

The American Academy of Pediatrics has emphasized the important role dads play in the well-being of children. Greater paternal involvement is an important contributor to child outcomes, including better cognition, broader vocabularies, more social behavior, a stronger sense of ethics, and better mental health.

Father figures mentor their children to meet challenges. The quality of a father’s interaction with his children often includes more physical rough and tumble play that gives children a sense of resilience, helps them to learn to control their own emotions and develop a sense of independence.

The quality of play with dads, as with sports, allows for the establishment and changing of rules, teaching children to adapt quickly. Taking risks is acted out. The need to offer correction to improve performance is better understood and accepted within a playful context. Meeting challenges allows the child to figure things out, make decisions, develop resilience, and learn to stay focused when excited.

Studies show that paternal involvement reduces behavioral problems and enhances cognitive development in adolescent boys as well as reducing psychological problems in adolescent girls.

Core ways of establishing relationships with children are necessary and some are easier than others. Whether you’re a full-time dad, a weekend dad, a stepdad, or two dads raising children together, it is important to develop long-term meaningful relationships with your children.

Father’s Day is only one day a year. Fathering a child is 24/7. Here are some activities for dads to create special “dad moments with kids” from birth through teenage years:

1In pre-infancy, talk and sing to your child. Babies in the womb listen to outside sounds. During infancy, dads can nurture through touch, diaper changes, talking and playing with their infants to enrich the child-parent bond. The more actively engaged a dad is in the first year of life with their child, the greater likelihood that child will bond and develop a secure attachment.

2During preschool years, research has shown that a father’s involvement increases a child’s cognition and thinking skills. Even a few minutes of play a day can help establish attachments leading to long-lasting connections.

3During elementary school, a dad who engages in rough and tumble play helps children learn negotiation skills and encourages children to take risks, which aids in developing the child’s negotiation strategies.

4During middle school, dads and their children can engage in hobbies, i.e., playing sports, fishing, learning a board game, cooking, hiking, camping, and celebrating special days together.

5During high school years, nurturing promotes children’s cooperation and self-control through fostering positive parent–child relationships and bolsters children’s openness to parental socialization messages and modeling.

Additionally, try to create a technology free day now and then (or at least an agreed upon free amount of time) where you leave the technology at home and go for a walk, talk together face to face and develop your own loving ways to communicate.

Dr. Elaine Fogel Schneider is on faculty at California State University, Los Angeles, Executive Director of Touch Time International, and author of Amazon best sellers. She’s a recipient of Honors and Fellow awards from the California SpeechLanguage and Hearing Association, and the National Academies of Practice. She provides telehealth and travels the world as a keynote presenter for international and national parent and professional organizations. Contact her at drelaine@askdrelaine. com or drelaine@touchtime.org.