Patches With A Purpose

Welcome to our first combined column. In it you’ll find a few important and timely resources presented in bullet fashion with links. All meant to provide you with information that you might not be aware of otherwise.

 Taxes. Yes, it’s that time of year again. Through AARP,

Tax Aide is a free tax service for taxpayers 50 and over.

No, one doesn’t have to be an AARP member and a few restrictions apply. Visit them at: taxaide.aarpfoundation.org/  Extended New Presumptive conditions related to exposure to hazardous materials. This is an on-going

VA claim process that addresses potential exposure to Agent Orange, Asbestos, Gulf War Illness Burn Pits and so forth. For more info go to: Exposure To Hazardous Chemicals And Materials | Veterans Affairs (va. gov)  For Kentucky and Tennessee specific Veterans Resources visit them at: veterans.ky.gov and tn.gov/ veteran/

Mountain Man Memorial March Honor Through Action

The 15th Annual Mountain Man Memorial March is back on for this year, 22-23 April 2022. The event is to honor the memory of 1LT Frank Walkup, a 2005 University of Tennessee graduate and ROTC alum. Walkup was killed in action in Iraq when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle. Friends of Walkup, after learning about his death, wanted to honor his sacrifice and that of his family and the Mountain Man Memorial March was born. Now the march is a joint memorial including Gold Star Families. Gatlinburg, TN has hosted the event for more than a dozen years now and at one point had 800 marchers/ runners from civilian members to military units from across the country. After a virtual march last year due to Covid, the inperson march is back on and registrations so far are promising that this year’s event could be a record setter. The march has four disciplines. Each segment consists of a 26.2 full marathon, a 13.1 half marathon a 10Km and a 5Km run. The march portion has a full 26.2 marathon and a 13.1 half marathon. There is also a military category that further divides the field into two subsets- heavy and light. In the military category, participants must wear a current approved uniform of their branch of service. If you are interested in participating, or your riders group wants to provide motorcycle route escort, visit mountainmanmemorialmarch.com

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A passenger in a taxi heading for Tampa Airport when he leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate-glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the shaking driver said, “Are you o.k.? I’m so sorry, but you scared the living daylights out of me.” The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, “I didn’t realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly.” The driver replied, “No, no, I’m the one who should apologize, it’s entirely my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving a hearse for the past 25 years.”

GearHead returns home a day early from Sturgis as his bike broke down and he caught a lift just inside of town, and then grabbed a cab. It’s after midnight. While on his way home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in the act. For $100 bucks, the cabby agrees. Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom. GearHead switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his wife, in bed with another man, just as he suspected! GearHead puts his gun to the naked man’s head. The wife shouts, ‘Don’t do it! I lied when I told you I inherited Mildred, the small town gossip and self-appointed monitor of church morals, was always one to stick her nose into other people’s business. Most members of the congregation did not approve of her intrusions, but she was feared due to her lethal forked tongue, so everyone maintained their silence. She took that fatal step too far one day, when she accused “Lightning”, a biker, and new member of the Church, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old Chevy pickup parked in front of the small town’s only bar all morning and late into the night. She emphatically told Lightning in front of the entire congregation that “Everyone seeing that pickup there would know what he was doing”. Fact was, Lightning had volunteered to help Gus, the bar owner, repair a leaky ceiling in the kitchen. But Gus was not a member of the congregation so nothing money from my Aunt Sarah. HE paid for the Audi I gave you on our Anniversary. HE paid for our new cabin cruiser. HE paid for your season tickets. HE paid for our house at the lake. HE paid for your African tour with your biker buddies and your new ATV. HE paid for the custom rims for your Ultra-Glide. HE paid for our Family WaterWorld membership And, HE even pays the monthly dues on the kid’s Private schooling. Shaking his head from side-to-side, GearHead lowers his gun. He looks totally confused over at the cabby and says, ‘What the hell would you do? The cabby never skips a beat and replies, ‘I’d cover his ass with that blanket before he catches a damn cold.’ was brought to light. Lightning, a man of few words but plenty of action, stared at her for a solid minute, then just got up and left the church. He said nothing. Later that early morning; around 1:00 a.m., Lightning parked his pickup directly in front of Mildred’s house, walked home, and left it there all night long and late into the lunch hour.

I got chatting it up to a stunning girl in a club, “May I buy you a drink?” I asked. “Have you not got a girlfriend?” she replied. “Smooth operators like you always have girlfriends.” “No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago,” I assured her. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Breakups are tough. Go on then, I’ll have a white wine....” A few drinks in, after a kiss and a cuddle, we headed off back to her place and made some of the most passionate sex imaginable! While I was putting my clothes back on, she made the remark, “So, you’re very good looking, a really nice guy, and amazing in bed....why on earth you split with your girlfriend?” I answered her honestly, “My wife found out!!” Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to drop off, otherwise they were all going to fall and die. They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman, she ws used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return or pursuing her own dreams. As soon as she finished her heart wrenching speech, all the men started clapping their hands. Man walks into a market with his zipper down. A female checker walks up to him and says, “Your barracks door is open.” He looked puzzled and went about shopping. A man approached, “Hey buddy, your fly is open.” He got in line to check out w/ that same cashier and thought he’d have a little fun with her about her “barracks door” remark. When it was his turn in line he asked, “When you saw my barracks door open, did you see a soldier in there at attention?” The girl thought for just a second and then replied, “No sir, no I did not....but I did see a soldier that may have been wounded, sitting on a couple of old duffel bags.” Happy 23 Years Anniversary To: Joker’s Wild and all you wild and crazy Bikers who love to laugh! Life is just better with laughter in it. Love y’all. MaMa T. “Putter” and all his golfing buddies are standing on the green while he’s got a very important shot to win the game that’s not over 15 feet to the hole; straight in. “Handicap” yells out, “come on, already, Putter, we all want to finish up and grab a drink”. Putter replies back, although in a hushed tone, “don’t bust my balls here huh? My wife’s up

There are three types of sex in a marriage. The first one is Kitchen Sex. This is when you are newlyweds and you’re still having fun sex, so you do it anywhere, anytime - but mostly in the kitchen. The second type is Bedroom Sex. This is when you have settled down a bit and probably have kids, so you can’t do it anywhere except in the bedroom and always with the door locked. The third type of sex is Hallway Sex. This is when you pass each other in the hall and say, “Screw you.” But there’s also a fourth kind called Courtroom Sex. This is when you are getting a divorce and you try to screw each other in public. A very tall man walks into a bar and a lady recognizes him as a pro Rugby player. They start to talk and eventually go back to his place. They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm, he has a tat that says Reebok. “What’s that for?” the woman questions. “Oh, I have this so what when I’m on TV, people will see my tattoo and then Reebok pays me.” Then the man takes off his trousers, and on his leg he has a tat that says Nike. “What’s that then?” she again questions. “Oh, it’s just like the other tat. I get paid when this tat is seen on TV.” Then the man drops his underwear and on his penis he has a tat that reads Aids. The woman screams, “Don’t tell me you have Aids!” The athlete replies, “No, no....! Calm down....it will say Adidas in just a few seconds.” My buddy and I were out having a brew and talking about women in general and how some were really on fire in bed. I told him that I’d been with SOOO many women in my life who were wildcats in bed and screamed like demons being released. He said, “Yes! I want to be able to experience that on a regular basis.” We got in my truck and I took him over to the hospital and up to the maternity ward. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Lil’ Joey received his plate, he started eating straight away. “Joey, wait until we’ve said our prayer”, his momma reminded him. “I don’t have to”, Lil’ Joey replied. “Of course you do.” momma insisted. “We say a prayer before eating at our house.” That’s our house,” Lil Joey explained. “but this is Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook!”. 30 ThunderRoadsTennessee.com MARCH 2022 MARCH 2022 ThunderRoadsTennessee.com 31