Myrtle & Pearl Ride Again – By Scott High

By Scott High

If you don’t remember Myrtle and Pearl, you should go check out the March 2020 issue of Thunder Roads Tennessee, if you’d like to, it’s on our website but we’ll re-introduce them. Christy Baker aka Myrtle, and Leanna Larsen aka Pearl met at work and discovered they both ride. They started riding together and planned a trip to Sturgis with friends, all of their friends backed out so they went alone and had so much fun they decided to go on a trip together every year. Now that everyone is caught up, the last time we talked with them they had been to 39 states together and were planning to hit the last nine this year to finish the lower 48. Well they have, and they did it on an EPIC 8,500 mile, 34 day, 20 state trip. Pearl bought her bike “Big Showeezie” (because her bike’s a girl) from the widow of a dear friend “Big Show.” Because he didn’t get to enjoy it long she wanted to ride the bike to all of the lower 48 states in his honor. The girls, now next door neighbors, once again left Randy and Todd at home, and hit the road. Because Myrtle hadn’t ridden her Street Glide “Lucy” in West Virginia, they made quick side trip there on the way to Michigan to visit family and mark another state off the list. They took the ferry across Lake Michigan to Wisconsin and toured the Harley Museum, then on to Minnesota to stay

with family again. They then rode into North Dakota marking 4 more states off their list to visit. After checking out the North Badlands in Theodore Roosevelt National Park it was time to head to Montana. With a side trip to ride past the Chief Joseph Ranch where the TV show “Yellowstone” is filmed, they went to see Old Faithful and ride the Going to the Sun Road through Glacier National Park. That evening the girls started looking for a room, not having any luck near the park they headed towards the interstate knowing there are usually more hotels there. They ended up in the little town of St. Regis on I-90 but still couldn’t find a room. They went in a saloon to get some food and have a drink and figure out what to do

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next and struck up a conversation with the owner of the bar. After they decided he was a nice guy one of the girls asked him how he’d feel about having a tent in his front yard, he told them he wouldn’t mind at all so they hung out until it closed, walked across the street to his yard and slept in their tent. That’s just how they roll, no firm plans, no deadlines, get up in the morning and decide where to go. Leaving Montana they rolled through Idaho into Washington, after a rest day they headed for the pacific coast, Pearl had never seen the pacific coast so that was a special day for sure. They cruised south along the coast through Oregon and into Cali to see the Redwoods and the Golden Gate Bridge and visit friends. Having knocked all of the lower 48 states off their list, the girls headed back across Nevada, Utah, and Wyoming and into South Dakota to the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally. They hadn’t been since their first big trip together 4 years ago. They both had a couple of repairs made by Rally vendors then headed towards home. If you didn’t notice, that’s the girls on the cover of this issue. I’ve known Pearl for several years and Myrtle longer than that, these 2 ladies are hard core riders, and bikers by any yardstick you want to measure that word by. When they were leaving on their trip I knew I wanted to do a follow-up article, but I wanted the cover photo taken as soon as they got home, no washing or unpacking, dirty bikes still loaded from the trip. I couldn’t be there when they were supposed to get home so to keep it authentic, they stayed on the road an extra night and came to where I was for photos before they went home. I’ll say it again, they “ride like girls!” I wish I could ride like these girls.

Bubba and his girlfriend were all settled in with snacks and beer in a cooler waiting for the big boxing match on cable, which Bubba had paid up front $50. to watch live, of which he had bitched and bragged about it for two weeks. The fight starts, they open up their chips and dip and pop their ice-cold beers and Whamm! the contender is knocked out cold in the 1st round! Bubba is up on his feet and screaming at the t.v. and shouting to his girlfriend “that’s the biggest let down! The whole damn thing was over in less than a minute!” Girlfriend reaches for beer and says, ‘yeah right? I totally know where you’re coming from, like literally, I know the less than a minute let down.” Bubba stops ranting and looks at her and says in all sincerity..... “Wow babe, that kinda’ helps that you feel my total disappointment.” -------------------------------------------------------------Late one night Herman takes a shortcut through the cemetery. Hearing a tapping sound he becomes a tad bit squeamish and quickens his pace. The tapping sound gets louder and Earl is now skeered out of his wits. Then he notices a man chiseling on a tombstone. “Thank goodness!” exclaims Jack to the man, “You gave me the most horrible fright of my life. Why in the world are you working so late?” “They spelled my name wrong.” -------------------------------------------------------------To the 20 something year old girls who think fifty something year old women are jealous of them - Yeah bitch, Enjoy your next 240 periods! -------------------------------------------------------------Bubba in kitchen shaking his head when Earl walks in and says, “what’s up buddy?” Bubba says, “I’m gonna’ slow down on the weed a bit. I just put my food into the microwave, entered my damn ATM pin and stood there waiting for it to reheat!” -------------------------------------------------------------87 year old man at bar: My 27 year old wife is pregnant! Whatcha’ think of that Barkeep? Bartender: A hunter in a hurry, grabs an umbrella instead of his gun. He enters the jungle, sees a lion, pulls the handle and Bang! the lion drops dead. Old man: That’s impossible! Someone else must have shot the lion! Bartender: Exactly my point! Dude posts on his hometown page.... You Farted In Kroger Yesterday - You were the tall brunette with the near perfect gorgeous curvy, thick body, that farted in the bread section last night around closing time. I was the tall guy next to you that looked over and asked, “Was that you?” You quickly looked shocked and replied, “No you fool, it was not me?” You were definitely insulted that I would even ask. As the tremendous stank began to take on a life of its’ own, you stood your ground and pretended that there was no smell whatsoever, continuing to shop. I picked up 2 loafs of Ciabatta bread and began waving them around to break up the stench. You called me a couple names and you stomped off extremely angry, which only enhanced your true gorgeousness. I’m posting this because even though you’re a liar with anger issues and fart like a Clydesdale, I would love to meet up in an outside area. Hit me back. --------------------------------------------------------------An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold and blustery day. The daughter said to her Mother, “My hands are freezing cold.” The mother replied, “Put them between your legs, your body heat will warm them up in no time.” The next day the daughter was riding with her boy-friend who said, “My nose is so cold it feels like it will fall off.” The girl replied, “Put it between my legs, my body heat will warm it in no time.” He did and all was good. The next day they were out and about and the boy said, “My penis is literally frozen and will fall off my body!” The girl told him to put it between her legs and it will thaw quickly. Next day the girl and her Mother are out and about and the girl asks, “Have you ever heard of a penis?” The mother is a tad concerned, but responds truthfully, “Yes, why is it that you ask daughter?” The daughter looks at her Mother with sincere honesty and replies, “They just sure make one heck of a mess when they thaw out don’t they?” --------------------------------------------------------------IF she eats her french fries with a fork ......

She’s probably not going to do that Thing that you like. js