4 1 15 tidbits johnson v4 issue 14 online by Russ Swart

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THE ORIGIN OF APRIL FOOLS

• No one is really sure how April Fools Day came about. The traditional explanation is that it started in 1582 when Pope Gregory XIII ordered that the Gregorian calendar replace the old Julian calendar, which moved the first day of the new year to January 1st instead of April 1st. Those who still celebrated the new year on April 1st were ridiculed as fools. The problem with this explanation is that April Fools Day was already being celebrated when the calendars were switched over. • Joseph Boskin, a professor of history at Boston University, explained that April Fools began during the reign of Constantine, when a group of court jesters told the Roman emperor that they could run the empire better than he could. Constantine allowed a jester to be king for one day. The jester passed an edict calling for absurdity on that day, and the custom became an annual event. The Associated Press ran this story in many newspapers in 1983. There was only one catch: Boskin made the whole thing up. It took a couple of weeks for the AP to realize that they’d been victims of an April Fools joke themselves. (Turn page for more foolery) Exit 93

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by Janet Spencer This week we’ll be celebrating April Fools Day. Come along with Tidbits as we play some pranks!

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1. Why did the chicken cross the playground? 2. Why did the chicken cross the road half way? Page 2

April 1st, 2015

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Hawkeye Publishing, L.L.C. www.tidbitpapers.com For Advertising E-mail: russ@tidbitpapers.com or Call (319) 360-3936 “Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them APRIL FOOLERY Lehm Books & Gifts the rest of us could• Robert not succeed. “ -Mark Benchley invited his friend Frank UNHITCHCORNWILLS

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Case to dinner at his house. Frank was the manager ofThis wordthe means: TheAlgonquin first and last name of the personHotel who said, “The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right at the time. When hesometimes.” was shown to the EASTER SUNDAY Weekly lunch bathroom, Frank was dismayed to see BREAKFAST BUFFET specials 11am-2pm 4536 220th Trail • Amana, IA 52203 8:30 - 11:30 am that all the towels, as well as the soap, Friday lunch special Adults $9 12 & under $4.50 (319) (800) 840-2387 Prankster Brian622-6447 Hughes once took a• kit came from his hotel. At dinner, the Ribeye or Fish silverware, plates, and napkins also bore wofwburglar w . tools l e handmhalfbaodozen o kempty sandgifts.com S D Y of the Algonquin. Benchley had Racehorsethe Man o’stamp War 3/29/1917 Come Hungry! We have T U E A picture frames and left them lying on "Like you, there are other people who secretly arranged to “borrow” a truck load Vincent VanGogh 3/30/1853 many baskets and O I N B enjoy reading Tidbits, just imagine how 1. It takes onlyfor one psychiatrist, but the bulb has got to really of Algonquin property the evening. G the steps of the Metropolitan Museum Rene Descartes 3/31/1596 appetizers during bingo WANT to change. placing an ad about your business will 6:30 takes two bureaucrats to change One to assure Thurber’s2. Itmother was a a lightbulb: practical Susan• James Boyle 4/1/1961 of Art. Panic ensuedvisibility when the museum the everything possible is being done while the other screws the gain by so many!" joker.4/2/742A.D. One day she to meet an old bulb intowas the water faucet. Reserve Our Banquette Hall Today For Your Charlemagne opened for business the next day. 3. “It requires the effort of approximately 1.0000000000000 Parties, Meetings Or Whatever Your Needs! friend that she hadn’t seen in thirty Washington Irving 4/3/1783 Vulcans to change a lightbulb.” -Spock 4. It takes four firefighters toMrs. change a lightbulb: one to change the years. By prearrangement, Thurber Grumpy Cat 4/4/2012 bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof. 901 2nd St Coralville, IA 52241 (319) 351-9937 was to wear a red sobrokers herto change friend could 5. It rose takes two stock a lightbulb: One to take the bulbtrain and drop it, and the other to try andMrs. sell it before it recognize her at out the station. crashes (knowing that it’s already burned out). Thurber arrived early, and spotted a DO NOT PASS UP THIS OPPORTUNITY! very old woman sleeping on a bench. She We currently have full and part time positions quietly pinned the rose on the slumbering available for Direct Support Professionals in Cedar form and enjoyed the scene when her Rapids, Coralville, Kalona, Washington, and Mount friend showed up, looked at the sleeping Vernon. Here is your opportunity to make a positive woman incredulously, and woke her up difference and provide support to your area’s family saying, “Why, Mame Thurber, how are and friends as these adults reach for independence. you? You’re looking just fine!” Qualiﬁed applicants will possess: • Author Kathleen Norris once saw in • A genuine desire to help others If all used motor oil in theaU.S. were window that her friend Frank store • HighJohn school diploma/equivalent 3/29/1886 Pemberton brews first batch of recycled, it would resultSullivan in a saving ofwas coming up behind her. She • Valid Coca Cola driver’s license 2015the whirled about suddenly 2nd andQuarter cried at 1.3 million barrels of oil per day. Used 3/30/1842 Ether first used as anesthesia • Successful background clearance top of her lungs, “Not one penny more! You 3/31/1889 Eiffel firstlbs. opened • Ability toTower lift 50 Week 14 oil can be re-refined into good-as-new and your family have had all the money 4/1/1826 Samuel Morey patents internal combusoil. Oil neveryou’ll wears out; it justget out of me! You’ve bled me tion engineare committed to providing a safe &lubricating If you supportive ever 4/2/1513 Ponce de Leontofirst sights what iswith now developmental environment individuals white!” A gets dirty. Used oil can be reprocessed crowd started to gather. Her Floridadisabilities and want to have fun at work; apply voice grew louder. “You’ve spent it all on into fuel oil, which contains about 4/3/1869 First successful Pony Express run online at: Jobs.TheMENTORNetwork.com EOE/AA drink rather than on your sick wife! I’ve 4/4/1850 Los Angeles incorporated as a city 140,000 BTUs of energygiven and canyou be everything I have— and still Rubber band the sprayer on your kitchen sink burned efficiently. you hound me for more!” Sullivan fled. so whoever turns on the water first gets wet! • At the Walt Disney studios, one artist boasted without ceasing about his new custom-built car and insisted everyone come out to admire it. Later, while he was working, his cohorts dismantled a chicken crossed the playground get to WINSTON CHURCHILL wheelbarrow and1. The reassembled it in tohis the other slide. $10 ALL YOU CAN EAT COD back seat, then filled with water. It way took 2. The it chicken crossed the road half because OR SHRIMP BASKET WITH SIDES the guy two hours just to dip the water she wanted to lay it on the line. 5:30-8 pm Each Friday Of Lent out without wetting his fine upholstery. “WE ARE PEOPLE HELPING PEOPLE” (continued next page) 225 Hwy. 1 W, Iowa City Twain

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April 1st, 2015

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Cost is $3 per person. All seniors are welcome! Please call the Community Center at 1. Why did the chicken cross the playground? 626-5716 by Thursday at noon to 2. Why did the chicken cross the road half way? make a reservation.

1. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? 2. How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb? 3. How many Vulcans does it take to change a light bulb? 4. How many firefighters does it take to Prankster Brian Hughes once took a kit change a light bulb? of burglar half adoes dozen empty 5. How many tools stockand brokers it take to picture frames and left them lying on change a light bulb? the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Panic ensued when the museum opened for business the next day.

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Twain - 2am Follow us on Open 11am FaceBook 1295 Jordan Village For Live Music Nor th Liber ty, IA Schedule 319-665-4800 3/29/1886 John Pemberton brews first batch of Coca Cola 3/30/1842 Ether first used as anesthesia 3/31/1889 Eiffel Tower first opened Racehorse Man o’internal War 3/29/1917 4/1/1826 Samuel Morey patents combustion engine Vincent VanGogh 3/30/1853 4/2/1513 Ponce de Leon first sights what is now Florida Rene Descartes 3/31/1596 4/3/1869 First successful Pony Express run Susan Boyle 4/1/1961 4/4/1850 Los Angeles incorporated as a city

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• Newspaper humorist John Medbury and his wife liked to throw extraordinary dinner parties. At one, half of the invitations said the dinner was to be very formal, and half said dress was to be informal. Half the guests showed up 1. How many psychiatrists does it take to wearing tuxes and gowns and the other change a light bulb? half arrived wearing t-shirts and shorts. 2. How many bureaucrats does it take to screw • Ben Franklin in a light bulb? once entered an inn and found seat next the fire already 3. How every many Vulcans doestoit take to change a occupied. He asked the innkeeper if he light bulb? had any oysters, and does the itreply was yes. 4. How many firefighters take to “Take a bucket of them out to the stable change a light bulb? and feed them to my horse,” Franklin 5. How many stock brokers does it take to said. Everyone seated at the fire went change a light bulb? out to see a horse eat oysters. When they came back in to say the horse refused to eat oysters, they found Ben seated at the prime position next to the flames. “Then bring the oysters in here and roast them for my supper!” he said. • Sportswriter Bill Hanna was walking down the street when he ran into fellow reporter Bill Phelon. remarked The maple syrup’s full of ants.Hanna / A mouse is on how nice it wasforto “Let us be thankful the run fools. into But forhis themold creeping on thementioned / Is not that a was spider“looking on friend,the but he ill. rest ofshelf. us could succeed. -Mark They Twain parted company. Hanna walked your back? / I ate the whole pie by myself. a half a block farther when Phelon approached him with surprise, /again The kitchen sink just overflowed. / A flash saying how long it had been since they’d flood washed away the school. / I threw your seen each other and how ill Hanna was looking. “But I just you aFool! moment blanket in the trash. / I ran neverinto lie…April ago,” cried Hanna. “Impossible!” replied -Myra Cohn Livingston Phelon and wandered off. A block further, here came Phelon, rushing to Hanna to Man o’ Warhow 3/29/1917 pump his handRacehorse and mention ill he was looking. “Please me you just saw Vincent tell VanGogh 3/30/1853 me a few minutes hollered Hanna, Reneago!” Descartes 3/31/1596 which of course was denied by Phelon. Susan Boyle 4/1/1961 Hanna hailed a taxi and took himself to 4/2/742A.D. the hospital. Charlemagne Irving 4/3/1783 • On April Fools’Washington Day shortly before Mt. GrumpyaCat 4/4/2012 TV St. Helens erupted, Massachusetts producer thought it would be funny to air the report that a local non-volcanic ski mountain was also erupting. Police were swamped with calls. The station apologized for the prank and the producer was fired. (More pranks next page)

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I don't always getbut asked out a really date. 1. It takes only one psychiatrist, the bulb hason got to WANT to change. But when I do... It's on April 1st. 2. It takes two bureaucrats to change a lightbulb: One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet. North Of I-80 3. “ItServicing requires the effortAnyone of approximately 1.0000000000000 Vulcans to change a lightbulb.” -Spock 4. It takes four firefighters to change a lightbulb: one to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof. 5. It takes two stock brokers to change a lightbulb: One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it’s already burned out).

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If all used motor oil in the U.S. were recycled, it would result in a saving of 2nd Quarter 2015 1.3 million barrels of oil per day. UsedI’m doing all of my shoping at Week 14 oil can be re-refined into good-as-new lubricating oil. Oil never wears out;FOUR it just SEASONS dirty. Used oilbutcan be has reprocessed 1. It gets takes only one psychiatrist, the bulb got to reallyCONSIGNMENT WANT to change. fuel oil, which 2. It into takes two bureaucrats to changecontains a lightbulb: about One to assure the140,000 everything possible is being done while the other BTUs of energy andMonday canscrews be the - Saturday bulb into the water faucet. 3. “Itburned requires theefficiently. effort of approximately 1.0000000000000 11am - 5pm Vulcans to change a lightbulb.” -Spock 4. It takes four firefighters to change a lightbulb: one to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof. 5. It takes two stock brokers to change a lightbulb: One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it’s already burned out).

1022 Gilbert Court Iowa City 319-541-5228 1. The chicken crossed the playground to get to the other slide. fourseasonsconsignment.com 2. The chicken crossed the road half way because she wanted to lay it on the line.

fools are right sometimes.”

Page 4

- Please give thanks to the businesses in which you have found this paper available for your enjoyment.-

April 1st, 2015

Prankster Brian Hughes once took a kit

Hawkeye Publishing, L.L.C. www.tidbitpapers.com For Advertising E-mail: russ@tidbitpapers.com or Call (319) 360-3936

PERFECT PRANKS of burglar tools and half a dozen empty

• A newspaper called “The Realist” once printed a prominently placed correction in its paper reading, “Our thanks to Jean Raymond for pointing out an error in last month’s issue in the article on ways to differentiate between mushrooms and toadstools. The two headings unfortunately got transposed. The heading ‘Edible Mushrooms’ should have read ‘Poisonous Toadstools’ and the heading ‘Poisonous Toadstools’ should have read ‘Edible Mushrooms.’ We apologize to our readers for any confusion this may have caused.” • A new plaque was to be unveiled at City Hall in St. George, British Columbia. Photographer Peter Duffy was to cover the event, which bored him. To liven things up, he snuck to the scene early and taped a large poster of a nude over the veiled plaque. When it was unveiled, the crowd was stunned, the mayor was apoplectic, and the photographer was fired. • When it comes to college pranks, Caltech holds all honors. One night students went into the faculty parking lot and painted over all the parking stripes as well as the names designating ownership of each space. Then they repainted them, making each space just a little larger, carefully arranged to totally erase the private parking space of an unpopular administrator. • When Caltech freshman Chuck Conner left for a weekend, his dorm mates plastered over the door to his room and even moved a light fixture to the blank wall. When he returned and asked his friends what happened to his room, they all pretended not to recognize him. • College students irritated with Dean William Bush Baer at New York University submitted his obituary to the New York Times and it was run on May 9, 1942. Baer arrived at work the next day to find the flags at half-staff and the choir singing dirges in the chapel. A retraction was in the paper the following day.

picture frames and left them lying on

the steps of the Metropolitan Museum

of Art. Panic ensued when the museum opened for business the next day.

3/29/1886 John Pemberton brews first batch of Coca Cola 3/30/1842 Ether first used as anesthesia 3/31/1889 Eiffel Tower first opened 4/1/1826 Samuel Morey patents internal combustion engine 4/2/1513 Ponce de Leon first sights what is now Florida 4/3/1869 Pony Express run The bestFirst car successful safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. -Dudley 4/4/1850 Los Angeles incorporated as Moore a city

Racehorse Man o’ War 3/29/1917 Vincent VanGogh 3/30/1853 Rene Descartes 3/31/1596 A Woman’s Susan Boyle Guide 4/1/1961 to emagne 4/2/742A.D. SocialCharlSecurity Sixty percent of people receiving Social Washington ng 4/3/1783 Security are women, andIrvi the Social Security Administration has put Grumpythat Cat is specific 4/4/2012 together information

to us. Here are a few things from its booklet, “What Every Woman Should Know”: * Women who haven’t worked can be covered by a spouse’s benefits as early as age 62. * Women who are divorced can claim benefits on their former spouse’s Social Security. File for both your own and his to see which will get the most money. If your divorced spouse is still working, you can claim your own benefits now and then see which are higher when he retires. Or you can claim his benefits now if he is retired and continue working, letting your own credits add up until you retire. (Beware: You’ll pay $1 for every $2 over the allowed maximum earned, which is $15,720 for 2015.) * The number of years a woman has to have been married before divorce is 10 years. You must wait two years to claim his benefits. * If you’re a widow, you can get benefits at age 60 or older as long as you don’t remarry before reaching that age. * If you have been abused and need to flee and hide, Social Security will issue you a new number as long as you have proof. * Be absolutely certain that your name, Social Security number and earnings are correct on your W-2 form. When you receive your annual statement, check it carefully, especially the earnings. For more information, read and print out the 24-page booklet online at www. ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10127.pdf to make sure you don’t miss any benefits, or see www.socialsecurity.gov/women. You also can call 1-800-772-1213.

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1. It takes only one psychiatrist, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change. 2. It takes two bureaucrats to change a lightbulb: One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet. 3. “It requires the effort of approximately 1.0000000000000 Vulcans to change a lightbulb.” -Spock 4. It takes four firefighters to change a lightbulb: one to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof. 5. It takes two stock brokers to change a lightbulb: One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it’s already burned out). STRANGE BUT TRUE by Samantha Weaver

* Despite the fact that 95 percent of the world uses the metric system of measurement, we in the United States still stubbornly cling to the archaic units of measurement derived from the old British Imperial system. This hodgepodge ranges from the mile (originally the distance a Roman soldier could march in 1,000 double steps) to the foot (originally the length of Emperor Charlemagne’s foot, later “standardized” to the length of 35 barleycorns laid end to end) to a yard (the distance between King Henry I’s nose to his extended fingertips) to an inch (the length from the tip to the first joint of a man’s thumb).

2nd Quarter 2015 Week 14

* Brazil nuts do come from Brazil, but they’re not technically nuts; they’re seeds. * When you think of the band ZZ Top, you probably think of long beards -- that’s become a sort of signature for them. The drummer, though, is beardless -- and his name is Frank Beard. * A ground squirrel typically has a heartbeat of around 300 beats per minute. During hibernation, though, that drops dramatically -- to only three or four beats per minute. c) 2015 King Features Synd., Inc.

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• Hugh Troy learned the art of pranking at a very early age and practiced on his grandmother. He wrote a letter to Sears and requested a corset, three yards of stovepipe, a teething ring, and two pounds of nails, then signed her name. When the package arrived addressed to Grandma, she exclaimed over their mistake and sent the package back with the letter explaining the error— a letter that was promptly intercepted by Hugh and replaced with another letter that said she needed quilt wadding, a hot water bottle, and two pounds of soft steel rivets. This went on ad infinitum.

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• When a theater owner got on his nerves, Troy got even by smuggling a jar full of moths into the next showing. When released, the moths headed directly to the light of the projector, making it impossible for moviegoers to view the picture.

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• Troy served in WWII and mounted his own protest against the amount of paperwork by sending daily reports to the Pentagon consisting of the number of flies caught on the mess hall flypaper. Soon the Pentagon was wondering why all the other units weren’t sending in their flypaper reports, too.

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• Once a cherry tree on the Cornell campus miraculously bore apples with a little help from this wonderful joker.

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• His most successful college stunt was when he borrowed a trash can from a friend. The trash can had been formed from a rhinoceros foot, and with it, Troy made rhino tracks across the snowy campus and onto the ice-covered reservoir where they ended abruptly at a large hole in the ice. When zoologists confirmed that the tracks were those of a rhino, reports started flooding in from all over the city by people who claimed that their drinking water tasted of rhinoceros.

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• In 1932, Hugh Troy saved extra copies of the newspaper that announced in giant headlines, “Roosevelt Elected!” Three years later he turned a few inebriated heads when he nonchalantly rode the subways reading this paper on New Year’s Eve.

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• When the Museum of Modern Art sponsored an exhibition of Van Gogh’s art, Troy made a replica of an ear out of chipped beef and mounted it in a blue velvet display case in the museum. A card identified it as the ear Van Gogh cut off. The exhibit drew more viewers than any other painting on display. • When he found a park bench for sale, he bought it. It was an exact duplicate of the benches in Central Park. He and a friend would take the bench to the park, and as soon as they saw a cop coming, they would proceed to carry the bench away— and would promptly be arrested. The bill of sale would then be produced and Troy would indignantly demand to be set free. He was arrested several times before the city police caught on.

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HILARIOUS HUGH TROY

• Hugh Troy was born in Ithica, NY in 1906. After graduating from Cornell, he became a successful illustrator of kid’s books. He was a captain during WWII and lived in Washington D.C. until his death in 1964. Today he is remembered for his practical jokes.

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• Troy once swiped a religious sign proclaiming, “Jesus Saves.” He erected it the following day in front of the Ithaca Savings Bank.

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APRIL FOOL'S DAY JOKES • Plastic-wrap the toilet seat. Better: Bubble wrap under the toilet seat, so when they sit, they are surprised by a loud POP! • Glue magnets to the bottom of an empty coffee cup, then attach it to the top of your car. See how many people try to get your attention as you drive by. • Replace sugar with salt. • Glue the eggs in the egg carton. • Replace Oreo cream filling with toothpaste and serve then to family and friends. • Put food coloring in the hand soap dispenser. • When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, Yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!" HAVE A FUN FILLED DAY!

Q: Why did the rubber chicken cross the road? A: It wanted to stretch its legs!

The maple syrup’s full of ants. / A mouse is creeping on the shelf. / Is that a spider on your back? / I ate the whole pie by myself. / The kitchen sink just overflowed. / A flash flood washed away the school. / I threw your blanket in the trash. / I never lie…April Fool! -Myra1.Cohn Livingston Why did the chicken cross the playground?

2. Why did the chicken cross the road half way?

Another prank to try on your kids: Squeeze a few drops of food coloring into the bottom of your kid's bowl, then cover it with cereal. So when your kid pours milk it will change colors as it rises to the top. “Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. “ -Mark Twain

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UNHITCHCORNWILLS This word means: The first and last name of the person who said, “The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.”

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• French: Chefs know what it means to “french” a food item. It’s a verb that means to cut into thin strips, like, well, french fries. (And yes, that’s how the finger-friendly potato dish took its name.) Green beans are another item commonly prepared in this manner. • Maltese: These tiny spaniels are easy to “Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them identify thanks to their long, silky coats. The the rest of us Club could groups not succeed. “ -Mark American Kennel them Twain with other “Toy Dogs” like Pugs and Yorkshire Terriers. Feline aficionados also use the term Maltese to describe cats that have a similarly silky, grayblue coat.

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Hawkeye Publishing L.L.C. considers it’s advertisers reliable and verifies as much data as possible. Consequently, readers using this information do so at their own risk. It is suggested that the investors contact the appropriate consumer agency before sending payment. Although persons and companies mentioned herein are believed to be reputable, neither Tidbits® of Linn county publication, Hawkeye Publishing L.L.C., The Nations Online Listings nor any of it’s employees accept any responsibility whatsoever for their actions. For more information about credit scams and advanced fee loans write: FTS Washington, DC 20580

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CELEBRATING

take to

take to screw to change a

ake to

READERSHIP APPRECIATION BIG WINNERS! Pickup the weekly Tidbits® today by the front door!

The Neatest Little Paper Ever Read

The maple syrup’s full of ants. / A mouse is creeping on the shelf. / Is that a spider on your back? / I ate the whole pie by myself. Wejust mailed out /over three hundred letters to people who entered the drawing after completing their survey with / The kitchen sink overflowed. A flash theirtheprize flood washed away school.certificates. / I threw your I want to thank all those that also took the time to complete the survey. We will not be listing blanket in the trash. / I never lie…April Fool! as this was not requested. We did however reach out to the two large winners to ask for their other winners names -Myra Cohn Livingston permission to announce them as the winners.

Grand Prize winner is Scott Manchester

t take to

$300 Second Prize winner is Hannah Wilke 00 Fareway $200 Gift Certificate 00 Fareway Gift Certificate Cedar Rapids

But for them d. “ -Mark

UNHITCHCORNWILLS This word means: The first and last name of the person who said, “The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right ® sometimes.”

War 3/29/1917 3/30/1853 3/31/1596 4/1/1961 4/2/742A.D. 4/3/1783 4/4/2012

OTHER PRIZES

Hundreds of others were winners for Zio Johno’s, Great American Popcorn Co. and Tidbits T Shirts!

1. It takes only one psychiatrist, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change. 2. It takes two bureaucrats to change a lightbulb: One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the Est. 1984 bulb into the water faucet. 3. “It requires the effortSPAGHETTI of approximately 1.0000000000000 HOUSE Vulcans to change a“The lightbulb.” -Spock Hometown Taste of Italy” 4. It takes four firefighters to change a lightbulb: one to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof. 5. It takes two stock brokers to change a lightbulb: One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it ow many gorillas does it take to change crashes (knowing that it’s already burned out).

ZIO

JOHNO’S

Hannah Wilke North Liberty

MOMENTS IN TIME 1. True or false: The higher the wattage, theThe History How Channel many people does it take to screw in a

a light bulb? One, but it takes tons of light bulbs!

brighter the bulb. Bureaucrats? One 1961, to screw it Bob Dylan plays his * On April 6, 1896, the Olympic Gameslight*bulb? On AprilTwo: 11, 2. If all the power lines in the U.S. were laid endin and one to screw it up. Dull people? One. how many 1,500 times would they stretch to the are reborn in to-end, Athens years after first major gig in New York City, opening Mystery writers? Two: One to screw it almost moon and back? being banned3. Howby Roman Emperor did General Electric thwart light bulb theft for Lee Hooker at Gerde’s all the way,bluesman and the other to giveJohn it an exciting subways? of 60,000 spectators Theodosius I. Ain4.crowd and surprising twist at the end. Light bulb joke Folk City. Dylan was too young to obtain What country uses the most power per capita of 100: One to change the bulb, and 99 to any country on Earth? welcomed athletes from 13 nations to thetellers? necessary union card and cabaret 5. How long will a typical incandescent bulb last makethe stupid jokes about it. international competition. before burning out? license needed to appear on a regular bill ich gives off more light: A 75-watt bulb, at Gerde’s. One of the club owners, Mike were hree 25-watt bulbs? * On April 9, 1959, the National Aeronautics uman being off as much heat and aving of givesand Space Administration (NASA) Porco, signed as Dylan’s guardian.

2nd Quarter 2015

rgy as a light bulb of about this wattage. ay. Used introduces America’s first astronauts: Week as-new Scott Carpenter, L. 14 Gordon Cooper Jr., * On April 7, 1970, the legendary actor John Wayne wins his first -- and only -- acting Virgil “Gus” Grissom, s out; it justJohn H. Glenn Jr.,“Anything that won’t sell, I don’t want Academy Award, for his performance in Shepard to invent.” -Thomas EdisonJr. and ANCENTSICEND ocessed Walter Schirra Jr., Alan Grit.” Wayne appeared in some 150 Donald Slayton. The seven men were This“True out word means:A word that comes overwiththe course of his long and selected to take part in Project Mercury in frommovies Latin meaning “glowing an be heat” or “white hot.” 1961. storied career.

ANSWERS

Tired of high electric bills? Maybe ’d prefer to go back to the days of dle power. A typical 8 inch candle Sylvia Browne 10/19/1936 s 35¢. A 100-watt light bulb costs 60¢. Viggo Mortensen 10/20/1958 candle will give off a brightness of Kim Kardashian 10/21/1980 umens, compared to the bulb’s 1,750 Johnny Carson 10/22/1925 ens. It would take 139 candles at a Nancy Grace 1. The to10/23/1959 get to of $48.65 (not including matches) to chicken crossed the playground Bill Wyman 10/24/1936 al one light bulb. The average candle the other slide. Pablo Picasso 10/25/1881 burn 6 hours, compared to 7502.hours The chicken crossed the road half way because the typical light bulb. It would take she wanted to lay it on the line. 375 candles costing over $6,000 qual one light bulb. It costs about .25 to burn a light bulb for 750 rs. Differences: 1. Poster is missing. 2. Arm is moved. 3. Letter is different. 4. Backboard is missing. 5. Curtains are missing. 6. "For Sale" sign is missing.

HOCUS-FOCUS

1. False. Wattage doesn’t measure the amount of light, just the amount of electricity going into the bulb. Lumens measures the brightness. 2. The 2 million miles of power lines in the U.S. would stretch to the moon and back 4 times. 3. General Electric makes specialty bulbs that screw in counterTheclockwise Greek instead word of pheta sliceformeant turi pheta slice clockwise use in subways. Subway lightand bulbs can only be used in subway sockets.The Greek word pheta slice meant turi pheta slice and 4. Saudi Arabia currently (pun) uses more power per capita than any other nation, followed by Canada in second place, and the U.S. in third. 5. The average incandescent bulb will burn for 750 to 1000 hours. A compact fluorescent will last about ten times that long.

Answers on Page 4

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k his sports coat to work and had the pockets with ahave thin,produced pliablecompact Recent lined developments 1987 jerk “Blackgave Monday” stockhis market falls 502 oda him change, McNeillfluorescent said, “I lights think(CFLs) I’ll drink it that are atfour times as

1945 Women allowed to vote in France for t time 1966 The Supremes become 1st female with #1 album 1995 Yolanda Saldívar found guilty of murSelena 1973 Nixon agrees to turn over tapes 1911 Orville Wright flies for 9 minutes 1945 China takes over Taiwan

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efficient as incandescent bulbs and last up to ten times longer. Over the life of the bulbs, CFLs cost the average consumer less than half the cost of traditional incandescent bulbs for the same amount of light. In addition, CFLs produce very little heat, reducing the need for air conditioning in warm weather.

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