Tidbits johnson v5 issue 16

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A) ...Where Quality Comes First w w w. b r i a r wo o d h c c. c o m 3” X 3.33” A 605 GREENWOOD DRIVE IOWA CITY 319-338-7912 1689 W LOCAL AUTHOR S UNI grad in 1968. Drafted into the army. Spent 1969 in Vietnam as an infantry grunt. Promoted to sergeant. Awarded Combat Infantry Badge (CIB). MA at the University of Iowa. Taught English in a secondary public school. Returned to Vietnam on several trips for research 2009 to 2014. available at:

by Janet Spencer We all have bad days now and then, and nothing helps you feel better after a bad day than hearing about someone whose day has been even worse! • Joe Ramirez went to the courthouse in New York City to face a traffic charge. The court business dragged on and before his case was called, he realized the time on his parking meter had run out. He went to feed the meter, but on the way to his car a cop ticketed him for jaywalking. When he got to his car, he found he’d already gotten a ticket. When his case was finally called, Joe was fined $5. He couldn’t pay the fine because he’d already paid the parking ticket, the parking meter, and the jaywalking ticket. So he paid $2 and was told to pay the rest as soon as he could. • In 1977 Skip Swenson of Los Angeles ordered a personalized license plate that read “NONE.” Shortly afterwards he was surprised to receive $953 worth of overdue parking tickets. Seems that when the police write a ticket for cars without plates, they write “none” on the ticket. • A bank robber in Oregon in 1969 handed a note to the teller saying, “This is a holdup and I’ve got a gun. Put the money in a paper bag.” The cashier wrote back, “I haven’t got a paper bag.” The robber fled. Cont'd next page!

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April 13th, 2016

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• The International Track Association’s meet was held in L.A. in 1973. Lee Evans, Vince Matthews, and Larry James announced they were going to try to break the record for the indoor mile run. The race proceeded smoothly until the final lap. Evans was in the lead when he saw the officials had miscounted the laps and had stretched the tape over the finish line when there was still another lap to go. Evans lifted the tape over his head and kept on running. James and Matthews thought the race was finished and quit running. Evans missed setting a new record by one second-- the second it had taken him to lift the tape over his head. • Lane Lohr was competing in the pole vault at a track meet held at the University of Illinois on a windy day in 1985. Just after clearing the bar, a gust of wind blew the pole underneath him. As he fell, the pole rode up his thigh inside his track shorts, ripping them completely off. When he landed in the pit he was wearing only his jock strap. The crowd went wild. An official delivered a towel to Lohr, who acknowledged the applause of the crowd before heading to the locker room for a spare pair of shorts. He placed sixth in the finals and qualified for All-American status.

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• High jumper Jeff Woodard was competing in a track meet at the University of Alabama in 1981. He got a perfect plant and cleared the bar easily at 7 feet 1 3/4 inches. His jump was so strong that instead of landing in the pit, he flew completely beyond it and came down in the middle of the steeple jump’s three foot deep pool.

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• A drum major in a parade in Ventura, California, threw his twirling baton high into the air. It hit a power cable which short-circuited and melted, throwing out the power for ten blocks, putting a radio station off the air, and starting a grass fire. Cont'd next page!

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(c) 2016 King Features Synd., Inc. 1. Builders in Baltimore fired up the furnaces for the first Look for puzzle answers on page 8. time in the newly completed Howard Hotel in 1912. That’s when they discovered that what important thing was missing? 2. The funeral home in Abilene, Texas was once mistakenly

1. When Herbert Chun of Australia won a lottery prize of $70,000, he became so excited that this happened. 2. Alan Broadhurst forgot to mail his wife’s entry into a football pool in 1981. She had picked all the winners. How much would they have won? 3. John Batt was out of the country and missed the oneyear deadline for claiming his $50,000 lottery winnings in the New Jersey State Lottery by how many days? 4. In 1895 there were only two cars in the entire state of Ohio. What happened to them? 5. An escapee from a minimum security prison was recognized when he appeared as a contestant on this game show. Look for puzzle answers on page 8.

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April 13th, 2016

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319-360-3936 You know you are having a Bad Day when: • Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 2 police squad cars. • Your birthday cakes collapses from the weight of the candles. • Your twin sister forgets your birthday. • And you realize that you just sprayed spot remover under your arms instead of deodorant.

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• When David Pearson was racing in the Rebel 500 at the Darlington Raceway, he pulled his race car over for a pit stop. His crew went about the business of changing all four of his tires, but Pearson didn’t notice what they were doing because he kept his eyes riveted on the leader of the race who was also in for a pit stop. Pearson was under the mistaken impression that the crew was replacing the right tires only. They loosened the left tires as they were tightening the right tires. When Pearson gunned his engine and started to pull out, a crew member yelled, “Whoa!” but Pearson thought he said, “GO!” Fifty yards later, both left wheels left the car and went bouncing down the track. • At the Smoky Mountain Raceway in 1968, Buddy Baker’s Dodge blew a tire, spun out of control, and crashed into the wall. Hurt and dazed, Baker needed a quick trip to the hospital. The ambulance, which was actually an old hearse, arrived and Baker was put on a wheeled stretcher and loaded into the back. Unfortunately, the back door didn’t latch and when the ambulance pulled away, the back door flew open and Buddy, still strapped to the stretcher, went rolling out the back and down the racetrack. All the other race cars came around the corner heading right for the rolling gurney. Baker narrowly missed the oncoming autos, with the ambulance attendants chasing after him. Safely back in the vehicle, they headed to the hospital. Baker’s bad luck was still hanging around, though-- and when the ambulance ran a red light, they had to swerve suddenly to avoid an accident with another car. The hearse skidded up onto the sidewalk, plowing into a set of garbage cans. The ambulance finally arrived at the hospital in spite of a flat tire. After being treated for fractured ribs and a concussion, Baker refused the offer of a ride back to the track in the ambulance. Cont'd next page!

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• Keith McGuigan of Canada parked his car in front of an auto wrecking business in 1981 while he went out back to look for a door latch that would fit his car. When he returned after finding the perfect latch, he found that his car was now a subcompact. He had parked it in a row of junkers waiting to be crushed. • Richard Horan of Westwood, Massachusetts, went snowmobiling in New Hampshire in 1983. He parked his car and snowmobile trailer on a back road and left for a day of fun. He returned in the evening to find his rig had been run over by a train. Unbeknownst to him, he’d parked smack in the middle of the Maine Central Railroad tracks. The rails were hidden under snow. When he returned later with a tow truck, he found a ticket for improper parking on the windshield of the wreck. • In 1981 Peter Stankiewicz of Rockville, Maryland, slammed on the brakes, jumped out of his car, and dove over a bridge into the Potomac River to rescue a man whose truck had crashed through the bridge railing and plunged 60 feet into the water. Stankiewicz succeeded in rescuing the driver and hauling him to shore. Only then did he discover that his car had been towed and impounded because it was blocking traffic. • A car got stuck in the mud of San Diego Bay. Tow truck operator Larry Cavner was called to the scene, but his tow truck also got stuck. A backup tow truck likewise got stuck. Then he hired an amphibious vehicle, which promptly got stuck. Next he called for a bulldozer, which rescued all four vehicles. The tab for Mr. Cavner was $16,000. The original motorist paid nothing. • Alan Lewis was a bus driver in Wales in 1982 when he drove his double-decker bus under a single-decker bridge. Half of the upper deck was completely sheared off. “I usually drive single-deckers. I just forgot I was in a double-decker,” he said.

You know you are having a Bad Day when: You call your wife and tell her that you would like to eat out tonight and when you get home there is a sandwich on the front porch.

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--One of the perks of retirement for many seniors is not having to pay taxes any longer ... except when we do. And sometimes when we discover that we have to pay taxes after all, it’s a tough situation. According to a Social Security assistant deputy commissioner in a recent newsletter, one-third of seniors receiving benefits have to pay taxes because of disability and survivor benefits, as well as income that is in addition to Social Security. You’ll need your benefit statement (Form SSA-1099), which you likely received in January, to calculate whether you need to pay taxes. This document is similar to a regular Form 1099 in that it’s used to send information about your income to the Internal Revenue Service. The amount listed is what you received the previous “NATIONAL” WORDS (continued): year. • French: Chefs know what it means to “french” a food item.benefits It’s a verb thatany means Specifically, if your and to cut into thin strips, like, well, french additional income exceed $25,000 fries. yes, that’s the finger-friendly po(or(And $32,000 for ahow married couple tato dish took its name.) Green beans are filing jointly), haveprepared to pay tax. another item you’ll commonly in this Depending manner. on your income, you might be taxed onThese up totiny 50 percent of your • Maltese: spaniels are easy to benefits. You’ll never pay taxes on more identify thanks to their long, silky coats. The than 85 percent your Social Security American KennelofClub groups them with other “Toy benefits. Dogs” like Pugs If you didn’t get and your benefits statement Yorkshire Terriers. in the mail or have misplaced it, there Feline aficionados arealso twouse ways find out the amount of thetoterm your benefits. You can go to your My Maltese to describe cats Security that have aaccount siSocial (if you don’t milarly silky, grayhave one, you can open one online) and blue “Replacement coat. select Documents” to • Colombian: Thisor term means things get a new form, you can different call Social to different people, depending on how Security at 1-800-772-1213 and ask you that get your “jones.” Narcotics dealers may refer onetobe sent to you. their products as Colombian, although the Even if you don’t have to pay Luckily, federalthe actual source is often unknown. taxes on your benefits, majority of usSocial prefer Security a bit of legal Colombian, as the taxes. coffee grown themore South beware of in state Thereinare American nation. The prevalence of coffee than a dozen states that may tax that shops throughout America is proof enough income. that many of us just can’t get along in the

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• Chinese: The generic term “chinese” now of food that are very differLiferepresents would betypes a million times better if there were ent from the meals that are (or ever were) Pińatas placed throughout day. servedstrategically in China. That said, the same the argument could be made about what we consider “American” food. Hamburgers? Ice cream? Do you like reading this paper? If you own a business, consider Pizza?thisOur all theHot otherdogs? people reading paper.national favorites seem to have originated everywhere except Call me as I can help with your marketing. Rena 930-0084 in the United States! Information in the Tidbits® Paper is gathered from sources considered to be reliable, but the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed.

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About Mental Illness One 1 in 5 Americans, or nearly 60 million people across all racial, ethnic, age, religious and economic groups, face the day-to-day reality of living with a mental health condition. Mental illness affects everyone. Fifty percent of mental health conditions begin by age 14 and 75 percent of mental health conditions develop by age 24. Yet fewer than one-third of adults and one-half of children with a mental health condition receive services and treatment in a given year. The result of this public health failure is often tragic: Suicide is the second leading cause of death in youth and young adults ages 15 to 24. Early engagement and support are crucial to improving outcomes and increasing the promise of recovery.

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About NAMI NAMI Is the National Alliance on Mental Illness, an association of hundreds of local affiliates, state organizations and volunteers who work in communities nationwide as part of the nation’s largest grassroots mental health organization. NAMI offers help and hope, improves lives, takes a stand and educates families and those living with mental illness. Located in Iowa City, Iowa, NAMI Johnson County is a NAMI State Organization/Affiliate. NAMI Johnson County and local NAMI affiliates in communities throughout the state, work together to raise awareness and provide essential education, advocacy and no-charge support group programs for people living with mental Illness and their loved ones. NAMI Johnson County addresses the mental Illness needs of our community, replaces stigma with understanding and helps thousands of families and individuals each year. NAMI Johnson County is a 501 (C)(3) grassroots mental health organization.

NAMI is the voice of reason, advocating tirelessly at the national, state and local levels, promoting common-sense solutions to solve our nation’s mental health care crisis and ensure research advances. NAMI members and leaders are visible and formidable, taking on and winning tough battles.

NAMIWalks

NAMIWalks’ public, active display of support for people affected by mental health conditions is one important way we are changing how Americans view people with a mental illness. NAMIWalks bring together families, individuals, coworkers and businesses to help raise funds, combat stigma and promote awareness. NAMIWalks is NAMI’s largest and most successful mental health awareness and fundraising event. In 2015, 79 NAMIWalks events raised nearly $11 million to support local programs and initiatives that improve the lives of persons affected by mental illness. Cover photo by Keren Lynn Photography.

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STRANGE BUT TRUE by Samantha Weaver

Thought for the Day: “A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.” -- Theodore Roosevelt

* It was award-winning Canadian novelist, poet, essayist and literary critic Margaret Atwood who made the following sage observation: “Your romantic tragedy when you were 19 becomes a funny anecdote by the time you’re 45. And then, 30 years later, you can’t remember their name.” * After the disaster of the Exxon Valdez, the oil tanker’s former captain, Joseph Hazelwood -- who evidently had been so drunk that he was passed out in his bunk when the devastating collision occurred -- was hired by the New York Maritime College. His job? Teaching students how to stand watch.

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* Tombstones weren’t always used to record information about the deceased’s life; they were originally just large, unmarked slabs of stone placed atop a fresh grave -- a barrier to ensure that no undead creature or ghastly spirit could escape to trouble the living. * The woman who was declared the female winner of the 1980 Boston Marathon had the title stripped from her after officials noticed her absence from any of the photographs or video footage from the middle of the event. It seems she veered off course, killed a little time around town, then rode the subway a spot less than a mile from the finish line, rejoining the race at the very end. (c) 2016 King Features Synd., Inc.


April 13th, 2016

Page 7

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Page 8

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April 13th, 2016

Hawkeye Publishing, L.L.C. www.tidbitpapers.com For Distribution E-mail: russ@tidbitpapers.com or Call (319) 360-3936

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