ISSUE 833 A3 by Falcon Prince, Inc.

Chronic Stress and Adrenal Fatigue By Dr. Greg Fors, DC Board-certified Neurologist (DIBCN)

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Chronic stress is killing you slowly! Over time it can trigger detrimental effects in your body that cause chronic disease. It is now estimated as much as 90% of the population is in some degree of adrenal stress. Your adrenal glands sit over your kidneys, where they play a significant role in your body, secreting more than 50 hormones necessary for life. Your adrenal glands respond to stress by short-term secretion of adrenaline, DHEA and cortisol to help you navigate a limited, stressful event. Stressed-Out and Wired: However, in states of chronic stress high levels of adrenal hormones like adrenaline and cortisol can be generated over time and result in anxiety, insomnia, high blood pressure, and even heart attacks and strokes. I refer to this stage as Adrenal Drive Syndrome; you are literally being driven through the day by high levels of adrenaline and cortisol. When proper adrenal testing is done through a 12-Hour salivary Adrenal Stress Index Test, I find many individuals with unexplained anxiety and insomnia suffer from high states of adrenaline and/or cortisol output. This information helps to properly treat the individual’s anxiety and/ or insomnia and prevent future health problems. Numerous studies have shown that there is a connection to elevated cortisol levels and heart disease, Alzheimer's, and many other chronic diseases. Stressed-Out and Tired: Eventually your adrenal glands can become fatigued and adrenal hormone production falls off, leading to deficiencies in hormones like cortisol, DHEA and pregnenolone. Hormones that got you through a normal work day are now depleted, and you begin to struggle. This Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome, and its decreased output of adrenal hormones, can also be diagnosed with a 12-Hour salivary Adrenal Stress Index Test. Eventually adrenal fatigue with low levels of adrenal hormones can lead to chronic fatigue, difficulty getting up in the morning, dizziness upon standing, depression, irritability, craving for sugar and caffeine, weight gain and thyroid symptoms that do not respond to thyroid medication. This baffling complex of symptoms often results in individuals being unnecessarily placed on antidepressants and other dangerous medications. How We Get This Way and Why Its Missed: What causes individuals to develop Adrenal Drive Syndrome that eventually leads to Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome? Primarily, it's our modern lifestyle that is causing this epidemic. Common factors that can affect your adrenal glands include: poor diets, smoking, lack of exercise, lack of sleep, overwork, lack of relaxation, chronic pain, chronic illness, surgery, drugs, toxins, allergies and infections. To add insult to injury, most doctors do not understand Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome and therefore fail to run the proper tests to diagnose it. This leaves the poor patient wondering if it is all in their head. How can you tell if you have Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome? Do you wake up exhausted after eight hours of sleep, need two cups of coffee to open your eyes, crave sweets or salt, feel depressed, lost interest in sex, keep catching colds, trouble falling asleep, if so, you may have adrenal fatigue. The very best way to know if you are suffering with adrenal and/ or thyroid issues is to have proper laboratory testing done by a doctor knowledgeable in Functional Medicine. If laboratory testing reveals that your adrenal glands or thyroid are not functioning properly, you need to address the problem appropriately. How To Treat It Naturally: Most people need dietary changes, nutritional support and herbal supplements to rebalance the adrenal function naturally. Second, you can replace or support the hormones directly. For example, if DHEA is low, I use a high-grade natural DHEA supplement or DHEA/Pregnenolone combination depending on the individual’s unique needs. If your cortisol is low or high, I utilize natural herbal Adaptogens to balance adrenal output. This is always based on individualized lab testing. For example, if an individual is in the Adrenal Drive Syndrome, there are supplements such as phosphatidylserine and Ashwagandha that will help reduce cortisol levels and adrenal overdrive. The cause, diagnosis and proper treatment of this disabling syndrome will be the subject matter of my upcoming seminars. Want to know more, attend my upcoming FREE SEMINAR! The seminar will be held Wednesday, February 13th 7:00 to 8:00 PM at the Pain and Brain Healing Center. Call our clinic at 763-862-7100 to reserve your space, seating is limited or schedule a FREE consultation.

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Dr. Greg Fors, D.C. is a Board-certified Neurologist (IBCN), certified in Applied Herbal Sciences (NWHSU) and acupuncture. As the clinic director of the Pain and Brain Healing Center in Blaine Minnesota he specializes in a functional medicine approach to fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, thyroid and adrenal disorders, depression and anxiety. If you have any questions or comments regarding this article you can contact Dr. Fors at 763-862-7100 He is a sought-after international lecturer for various post graduate departments and state associations. Dr. Fors is the author of the highly acclaimed book, “Why We Hurt” available through booksellers everywhere.

This Tidbits® is published by Falcon Prince Inc., a Minnesota Corporation, under licensing agreement with Tidbits® Media Inc., Montgomery, AL www.tidbitsmedia.com Tidbits® of the North Metro: Email: dean@realbits.com ● www.tidbitstwincities.com ● Phone: 763-218-0033

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► On Jan. 24, 1848, a millwright named James Marshall discovers gold along the banks of Sutter’s Creek in California, forever changing the course of history in the American West. Within months, the world’s largest gold rush had begun. ► On Jan. 23, 1922, at Toronto General Hospital, 14-year-old Leonard Thompson becomes the first person to receive an insulin injection as treatment for diabetes. He improved dramatically, and the University of Toronto gave pharmaceutical companies license to produce insulin, free of royalties.

Godfrey Talent Scouts.” The program newsstands, featuring a cover photograph featured amateur entertainers making of Lennon and Yoko Ono. The photo their national television debuts. had been taken on the morning of Dec. 8, 1980, just 12 hours before Lennon’s ► On Jan. 26, 1961, President John F. death. Kennedy appoints Janet Travell, 59, as his personal physician, making her ► On Feb. 1, 1887, Harvey Wilcox the first woman ever to hold the post. officially registers “Hollywood” with the Travell, an orthopedist, had worked Los Angeles County recorder’s office. closely with Kennedy for five years, Wilcox and his wife bought 160 acres of treating his persistent back pain. land in the foothills west of Los Angeles. They envisioned it as the perfect site for ► On Jan. 27, 1975, a bipartisan Senate a utopian-like community for devout investigation of activities by the Federal Christians, where they could live a highly Bureau of Investigation and the Central moral life free of vices such as alcohol. Intelligence Agency is launched by a special congressional committee. The ► On Feb. 3, 1966, the Soviet Union committee reported that the FBI and the makes the first controlled landing on the CIA had conducted illegal surveillance moon, when its unmanned spacecraft of several hundred thousand U.S. citizens Lunik 9 touches down on the Ocean of and had illegally plotted to assassinate Storms. After a soft landing, it began foreign leaders. transmitting images back to Earth.

Company in a Washington, D.C., court in an attempt to prove that it is still making napalm, a jelly-like gasoline used in bombs during the Vietnam War. Dow had lost its government contract to produce napalm in June 1969. ► On Jan. 28, 1986, the space shuttle Challenger lifts off from Cape Canaveral, Florida, with seven crewmembers aboard. Seventy-three seconds later, the shuttle broke up in a forking plume of smoke and fire. There were no survivors. ► On Jan. 30, 1994, American speed skater Dan Jansen sets a new world record of 35.76 at the World Sprint Championships in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Jansen would win Olympic gold three weeks later in final race of his career, the 1,000-meter event in Lillehammer, Norway.

► On Jan. 21, 1957, singer Patsy Cline, one of the greatest figures in country music, first gains national attention with ► On Jan. 22, 1981, Rolling Stone ► On Feb. 2, 1970, antiwar protestors (c) 2019 Hearst Communications, Inc. her winning appearance on CBS’ “Arthur magazine’s John Lennon tribute issue hit file suit against the Dow Chemical All Rights Reserved

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DOG FACTS (cont’d)

• He would hold up the object, name it, and then command Chaser to find it or to hide it. Over the course of three years, Chaser learned the names of over 800 stuffed toys, 116 different balls, 26 Frisbees, and over 100 various plastic objects. There were no duplicate items; each thing differed in size, weight, texture, design, and material. She was tested every day, often out of sight of Pilley, to be sure she wasn’t getting subconscious hints from him. • Even after learning the names of over 1,000 objects, she never forgot a word, and never slowed the rate at which she could learn new words. She could also tell the difference between items that were her toys and items that were not toys. At times he would tell Chaser to fetch an item that the dog had never before seen, and whose name was unknown to the dog. Chaser would use her powers of deduction to identify the correct item: “There’s only one item here that I don’t know the name of, so that must be what he wants.”

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• Another researcher named Juliane Kaminski went one step further with her border collie, Rico. After Rico had learned the names of hundreds of toys and other objects, Kaminski showed the dog either a photo or a drawing of the specific item she wanted Rico to fetch for her. Rico understood the connection between the depiction of the item and the real thing and brought the correct item time after time. • Dogs have different growls depending on the situation. A “don’t steal my food” growl is different from a “who is that stranger?” growl. Researchers recorded different kinds of growls, and then played them for other dogs under various circumstances. When dogs were approaching a juicy bone and heard the “don’t steal my food growl” they backed off far more regularly than when they heard the “who is that stranger?” growl. • Similarly, they recorded the barking of a dog who was bored, then recorded barking when the dog was alarmed at a stranger. When these recordings were played for other dogs, they ignored the “I’m lonely” barks but reacted to the “stranger approaching” barks. • Dogs were introduced to two boxes that were identical in all but one respect: one box had a string of bells attached to it that rang when jiggled. The other box had a string of bells whose clappers had been removed so they made no sound. The dogs were tested by watching a

human put a treat under both boxes, and then the dogs were told they were not allowed to snitch the treats. As long as another human remained in the room, no dogs bothered the treats. But when the humans left the room, the dogs went to steal a treat, and all of them swiped the treat from the box with the silent bells, showing that they understood who was within hearing distance and how they might respond. • Dogs were placed in a room with two people, both of whom had treats to share. One person had a gag over their mouth, while the other was blindfolded. Which person would the dogs go to in order to beg for a treat? Not surprisingly, they went to the person with a gag and ignored the person with a blindfold, demonstrating that they are aware they need eye contact for nonverbal communication. Seeing-eye dogs communicate with their blind masters by licking their hand. • Most dogs are unable to pass a simple test where they were placed behind a barrier with a treat on the other side. There was a hole in the barrier they could pass through to get the treat, which they learned quite quickly. But when the hole in the barrier was shifted to a different place, dogs continued to return to the place where the hole had been previously, rather than go to the place where the hole currently appeared. It took several trials before they learned the new position of the hole. Wolves had no issue in seeing where the gap in the barrier was located. • In a study, a man stood on a street corner, smiling at women, telling them they were pretty, and asking for their phone number. If he stood on the street corner alone, he was successful in getting their phone number 9% of the time. But if he had a dog with him on a leash, his success rate jumped to 28%. Then he tried it different ways: dressed nattily with the dog in a matching cute collar and leash, or dressed in rags with the dog in a spiked

like us

collar with only a frayed rope for a leash. The manner of dress didn’t make much of a difference, but further experiments showed that a cute golden retriever puppy increased the interaction level over a big full-grown Rottweiler. • Experiments when people have reared wolf pups like dogs have shown that the wolves will bond with the human and even learn basic dog commands when they are young, but will revert to wolf-like behavior as adults, becoming difficult or impossible to control, while also threatening to kill other animals such as cats and chickens, threatening people outside of their “pack,” and often even stalking children as if they were stalking prey. When removed from human contact for even a short period, they will revert to their wolf-like ways almost immediately.

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REMARKABLE PEOPLE

LADY DAI

• In 1971, workers in the town of Changsha in the province of Hunan in China were digging out an area to build a new bomb shelter next to a hospital when they encountered something remarkable. They called in over 1,500 high school students to help excavate the discovery, and then they called in archaeologists. They had discovered the tomb of Xin Zhui, her husband Li Cang, and a third person thought to be their son. • Of the three bodies, Xin Zhui’s was in extraordinarily remarkable condition. Because Li Cang had ruled over the fiefdom of Dai during the Han dynasty of ancient China, Xin Zhui’s mummified remains were dubbed “Lady Dai.” • Tests revealed that Lady Dai had died in the year 163 BC, so her remains were 2,135 years old at the time they were uncovered. Her body was incredible: Her skin was soft, her tendons flexible, her organs intact, her hair clasped, and even her fingerprints were still distinct. Her eyelashes and even her nose hairs could still be seen. The blood still in her veins was shown to be Type A. Even the vagus nerve in her lungs, which was as thin as a human hair, was intact and identifiable. • She had been buried 39 feet deep (12 m) inside a succession of four caskets made of cyprus, each highly decorated and all sealed tight. Five tons of charcoal surrounded the tomb, which was buried under three feet of white clay, which kept oxygen and water out of the grave. The corpse was wrapped in 20 layers of silk bound with silk ribbons. And she was submerged in 21 gallons (80 l) of a highly acidic reddish liquid of unknown origin. Test showed it was high in magnesium and salt. • Thousands of artifacts were buried alongside the mummified remains of Lady Dai: over a hundred garments made of silk, 182 dishes made of lacquer,

assorted tapestries, exquisite jewelry, 162 carved figurines intended to represent her servants, musical instruments, cosmetics, toiletries, and many preserved delicacies along with a list of her favorite recipes. • It took more than a year to completely excavate the site. Plans for a bomb shelter were halted. • An autopsy revealed that she suffered greatly from a variety of ailments, which would have caused enormous suffering in the years preceding her death: internal parasites, clogged arteries, diabetes, high cholesterol, liver problems, gallstones, and a back problem that probably limited her mobility. • The immediate cause of death was a heart attack presumably brought on by obesity, lack of exercise, and an overly indulgent diet. • Melon seeds found in her stomach indicated that she died within an hour of consuming her last meal. She most likely died in the summer when melons were available. She was about 50 years old when she died, having outlived both her husband and her son, whose remains buried nearby had deteriorated. • As soon as her body was exposed to air, it began to deteriorate quickly. It was preserved once again and placed on display. Her body and belongings are currently under the care of the Hunan Museum, which has allowed occasional international exhibits. • Lady Dai’s body and tomb are considered one of the most important archaeological discoveries of the 20th century. She has become as famous in China as Tutankhamun is in Egypt.

Please Don’t Litter

MIRACLE MYLAR • Mylar is an extraordinarily strong polyester film developed by DuPont in the early 1950s. By the 1970s, it had become DuPont’s best-selling film. • Technically speaking, Mylar is biaxially-oriented polyethylene terephthalate. Mylar is an American brand name; other countries call the same product BoPET from the initials of its chemical composition. Basically, it’s a polyester film made from stretching its components of polyethylene terephthalate until the individual molecules line up and lock into place. This gives the material extraordinary tensile strength. It’s nearly impossible to tear or stretch a sheet of Mylar. • Mylar cannot be torn or chipped, but it can be bent and folded. It will not deteriorate with age. It can bond to most materials such as wood, metal, cloth, paper, leather, and plastics. It’s heat resistant and can withstand temperatures from -80F to 300F. Mylar is impervious to chemical reactions; will not conduct electricity; and has excellent insulating properties. It forms an impenetrable barrier for moisture and air. • All of these phenomenal properties make Mylar attractive to companies who package food. The primary enemies of food preservation are insects, temperature swings, moisture, and air. Mylar helps protect against all of these: bugs cannot chew through it. It helps protect the food from temperature changes. Most importantly, it keeps humidity and oxygen out much more efficiently than regular plastic does. Plastic baggies “breathe”; Mylar does not. • Mylar is used in thousands of ways in our modern world. When bonded to a thin sheet of aluminum, it forms a metallic material that reflects 98% of the light that hits it, while also reflecting heat.

• The familiar “space blankets” are made of foil-bonded Mylar. NASA uses this material to make weather balloons. A five-layer sandwich of it in space suits protects astronauts from radiation and temperature swings. It’s used as solar sails in outer-space aircraft. It’s built into aluminized suits to protect urban firefighters, and in protective emergency heat-shielding fire shelters for wildland firefighters. It’s found in the reflective backing of solar panels; in insulation for homes; in heat-reflecting curtains for the home; as a protective film to prevent glass from shattering; and in solar ovens to concentrate heat. That shiny foldout reflector that you put in your car’s windshield on hot summer days is Mylar. • Because it is so effective at extending the shelf-life of foods, Mylar is used extensively in the food packaging industry. That foil lid on your yogurt cup is not foil at all, but Mylar. The cellophane film on top of your TV dinner that doesn’t melt in the microwave isn’t really cellophane; it’s Mylar. The big roasting bag that surrounds your Thanksgiving turkey in the oven is also made of Mylar. Look at the packaging of the coffee beans or cookies or potato chips you just bought: if it looks like foil, but you cannot tear it; if it looks like cellophane but it won’t melt, it’s Mylar. Mylar bags are also used to preserve medical products, seeds, and tissue samples that are sensitive to changes in moisture and oxygen. Mylar balloons and kites are also very popular, although they are not biodegradable and will never deteriorate. • If you’re lost in the desert, huddling under a Mylar space blanket will keep the heat away, protect you from UV radiation, and trap moisture escaping from your body, cutting down on the chances of dehydration.

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I just don't get it, we elected them. How could they be so...

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current tally for that is only 67 percent. Per the survey’s goal statement, the VA is hoping to raise that number to 90 percent in one year. Your best bet: If you receive a non-medical VA benefit or service and you get one of those surveys, respond. Fill it out. Be honest. A typical VA survey might get only a 20 percent response rate. If there’s space to leave comments, do that. If you’re a veteran, caregiver, dependent or service provider (for example, a funeral home), and if you have an email address on record with the VA, you’ll likely get an email invitation to participate within the quarter. If you’re a veteran and you receive a health-care service, you’ll likely get your email invitation to fill out the survey within two weeks. Right now, they’re listening. Don’t let them set policy or rules (or budget) based on the opinion of only 20 percent of those surveyed. Make sure your voice is heard.

Between the fall of 2017 and September 2018, 1.6 million of us were surveyed about our trust in Department of Veterans Affairs health care after we’d had an outpatient appointment for anything from physical therapy and primary care to cardiology and mental health. A VA press release says that our trust level in VA health care rose 2.4 percent during that period. The trust number now is at 88 percent, with a VA target goal of 90 percent by September 2019. There’s another number, however, buried in the actual survey results, that might be even more important. Respondents were asked to reply on a scale of 1-5 (Strongly Disagree to Strongly Agree) to the following statement: “I trust VA to fulfill our country’s (c) 2019 King Features Synd., commitment to Veterans." The Inc.

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SENIOR NEWS LINE By Matilda Charles

Study: Puzzles, Games Don’t Boost Brain

After being told for years that doing daily crossword puzzles or other types of brain stretchers would help maintain our cognitive abilities, researchers now say it isn’t so. Specifically, researchers at the University of Aberdeen in Scotland wanted to look at whether “intellectual engagement” can help to offset age-related

cognitive decline. Their conclusion was that late-life ability was based on early life ability and engagement along the way. In other words, the more intellectual ability we start with, the more likely we are to engage in mental activities throughout our lives, so we have a higher “starting point.” However, intellectual engagement doesn’t help

maintain cognitive ability later in life, it just lets mental decline start later. Assuming they’re wrong in their conclusions (after all, there were only some 500 study participants), there are any number of ways to maintain our cognitive abilities. Here are two ideas: -- Take a daily newspaper. While the cost of a paper has gone up over the years, you can often get an electronic version for only one-third the price. With a tablet or iPad, you can sign on every day, and best of all, with a swipe of the fingers you can increase the size of the text. -- Consider buying one of those page-per-day calendars that can sit right on the kitchen table. Over breakfast you peel off the new date and have a fresh puzzle to work on while you eat. Check Amazon for a wide variety of puzzle types and put “puzzle calendar 2019” in the search box. Click on each one for a sample. Choose from brain games, crossword, Sudoku, Wheel of Fortune and more. If you have a bookstore near you, it will likely have these too. I think we can prove those researchers wrong. (c) 2019 King Features Synd., Inc.

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TIDBITS® LOOKS AT A FEW OF LIFE’S MYSTERIES by Kathy Wolfe

This week, Tidbits seeks the answers to some of life’s greatest mysteries! • Ever wonder why wedding rings are worn on the third finger of the left hand? Back in ancient Egypt, it was believed there was a blood vein running from that finger directly to the heart. The vein was called “vena amoris,” the vein of love, and rings, usually bone, ivory, or leather, came to be worn on that finger. Rings, as a never-ending circle, symbolize the unbroken continuity of undying love. • Men’s fashion dictates that the bottom of a vest remains unbuttoned. This “unwritten rule” came into practice at the beginning of the 1800s. Up until that time, vests were worn buttoned from top to bottom. England’s heir to the throne at the time, the Prince of Wales, was a large man, and his girth at the waist restricted him from buttoning that final button. Because of his status, the Prince set many fashions for elite society, and all men began following his ritual. • Mosquito bites swell and itch because of the saliva of the female mosquito. Once she pierces your skin, she injects the saliva into the wound. The saliva dilutes the blood to enable the female to suck it up more easily. An allergic reaction is produced in the body, resulting the swelling and itching. • It’s a no-brainer that macadamia nuts come from the macadamia tree, but what’s the origin of that name? This little nut was named after Dr. John MacAdam, a Scottish-Australian chemist, medical teacher, scientist, and politician. MacAdam promoted the cultivation of the nuts in Australia, and his friend, colleague, and Director of the Royal Botanic Gardens, Dr. Ferdinand Mueller, named the nut after him in 1857. Cultivation of the trees spread to Hawaii in the 1880s, the only area where the nuts are commercially successful. • When and why did folks make the transition from pocket watches to wristwatches? In 1907, Brazilian aviator Alberto Santos-Dumont, a pioneer in the airship and dirigible industry, asked French jeweler Louis Cartier to design a watch for his wrist, to enable him to check his flying time in speed trials without having to continually reach into his pocket. The invention gained further popularity during World War I with soldiers serving in the trenches. • Why do chicken eggs vary in size? Generally, the older the chicken the bigger the egg. However, different breeds, such as the Leghorn, tend to lay larger eggs. The size – Jumbo, Extra Large, Large, Medium, etc. – is determined by the minimum weight per dozen. For example, a dozen Jumbo eggs must weigh at least 30 oz. (0.85 kg), while Extra Large dozens must weigh 27 oz. (0.77 kg), and Large, 24 oz. (0.68 kg). • Do you ever get lunar and solar eclipses

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Payment options: cash, check or credit card on day of class ●100 % Money back guarantee during class confused? A lunar eclipse occurs when the Earth is between the moon and the sun and the Earth blocks out the moon. In a solar eclipse, the moon is between the Earth and sun, and the moon blocks out the sun. • Wine-lovers everywhere can be seen opening a bottle and letting it “breathe.” Did you know the practice only needs to done with red wines over ten years old? The bottle should be opened an hour before to allow any sediment to settle as well as to let the wine absorb oxygen. The procedure is useless for a one-year-old bottle of white wine. Letting red wine breathe improves the bouquet of some wines, releasing esters, ethers, and aldehydes, those compounds responsible for the fruity taste in wine. • And why do some wine connoisseurs often sniff the cork from the wine bottle? There really is no need to smell a cork, it’s really the wine that needs to be smelled. The cork just needs to be checked for moistness, to ensure that the wine has been stored correctly, on its side. The cork needs to be wet in order to expand and thus prevent air from getting into the bottle. A dry cork indicates that air has very likely gotten into the wine, damaging it. • There are any number of reasons why people snore. Snoring is the sound of air rushing and vibrating through narrow upper air passages in the throat and nose. As the muscles in the upper airways relax, airflow is decreased, causing a turbulence in the airflow, producing a harsh noise. About 40% of adults snore, men more than women, more prevalent among those who sleep on their backs, and increasing as we age. Snoring can be a symptom of sleep apnea, a sleep disorder that occurs when a person’s breathing is frequently interrupted during sleep. Losing weight helps with snoring, since

overweight people have extra tissue in the back of their throat, which, when the body relaxes during sleep, drops down and blocks the airway. • Most folks love the taste of a delicious pound cake for dessert. This tasty treat doesn’t weigh a pound – it takes its name from its ingredients, a pound of flour, a pound of sugar, and a pound of butter. • Perhaps you’re curious as to why men’s voices are deeper than women’s. It’s all about those strings in the larynx called vocal cords. A voice is the result of the vibration of these cords by wind from the lungs. Men’s cords are longer and thicker, resulting in a deeper voice. • Divers might wonder why they sometimes get decompression sickness, or the “bends.” It’s a painful ailment that is the result of nitrogen bubbles forming in the bloodstream and tissues. When a diver surfaces too quickly from deep waters, the air pressure surrounding the body is lowered very quickly, causing those bubbles to come out of the body’s fluids and enter the bloodstream. At first, it’s just a mild tingling, but it rapidly progresses to pain in the joints and chest. Bubbles in bones and muscles can cause paralysis, as well as blockage of veins and arteries, and in some cases, death. A slow ascent from the deep is the best prevention, with the recommended rate about 33 feet (10 m) per minute. • Do you how meat tenderizers work? It has to do with an enzyme found in the papaya, called papain. The enzyme breaks down the meat’s proteins, connective tissue, and muscle fibers. But it only continues working up to temperatures of about 175 degrees F (79.4 C). After that, the enzyme is destroyed by the heat.

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BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENT These are classified ads which were actually placed in U.K. newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites! ____________________________________ FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel , 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. ____________________________________ FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

____________________________________ COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale. ____________________________________ JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer £100. ____________________________________ WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie. ____________________________________ And the WINNER is... FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica , 45 volumes. Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything. (Statement of the Century) ____________________________________ Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker -- Billy Connolly. "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?" ____________________________________ Children Are Quick TEACHER: Why are you late? STUDENT: Class started before I got here. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

____________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. (I Love this child) ____________________________________ TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. __________________________________ TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me! ____________________________________ TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. ____________________________________ TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' MILLIE: I is. TEACHER: No, Millie ..... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' ________________________________ TEACHER: George Washington not only

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chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand..... ____________________________________ TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ______________________________ TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog. (I want to adopt this kid!!!) ___________________________________ TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher. __________________________________ PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH Due to current economic conditions, the light at the endof the tunnel has been turned off.

Page 7

Thought for the Day: “The game of life is the game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later with astounding accuracy.” -- Florence Scovel Shin (c) 2019 King Features Synd., Inc.

► As the Black Plague was sweeping Europe during the Middle Ages, some people, for reasons surpassing understanding, believed that plague victims could cure themselves by smelling human waste.

► What do the words “obscene,” “tranquil,” “mediate,” “catastrophe,” “dire,” “critical,” “vast” and “apostrophe” have in common? All of them appeared in print for the first time in the works of William Shakespeare.

► When the TV sitcom “The Addams Family” was being cast in the early 1960s, actor John Astin came in to audition for the role of Lurch, the cadaverous butler. He was immediately rejected for the part. As he was leaving the room, though, the producer spotted him, pulled him aside, and immediately offered him the role of Gomez -- the lead. All he had to do was grow a mustache.

► Back in 1893, when the zipper was invented, the device was intended to be used for fastening shoes.

► If you’re planning to travel to Washington state with nefarious plans, here’s an interesting law to keep in mind: Any motorist with criminal intent is required to stop before entering a town and inform the chief of police of his or her presence.

► You might be surprised to learn that the mother of Sir Winston Churchill, that quintessential icon of Britishness, was actually born an American in Brooklyn, New York. Lady Randolph Spencer-Churchill, nee Jeanette Jerome, was a socialite, and it is through her that Winston Churchill is related to his wartime ally, Franklin Delano Roosevelt. The prime minister and the president were seventh cousins, once removed.

► The acids in your digestive system are so corrosive that your stomach must produce an entirely new lining every three days.

► Those who study such things say that if all the gold in the world were combined in one lump, it would result in a cube that measures 20 yards on each side.

► In this time of bitter partisan rivalries, it would be well to remember the following sage observation: “Do not trust to the cheering, for those persons would cheer just as much if you and I were going to be hanged.” The man who first made that observation was Lord Protector of England Oliver Cromwell, considered by some to be a by: Samantha Weaver hero of liberty, by others to be a regicidal dictator. He died in 1658, probably from septicemia. He was so reviled that, three years later, his body was exhumed so that he could be posthumously executed, his body thrown into a pit and his head displayed on a pole outside Westminster Hall.

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• In a test, a white block indicated a place where there was food hidden, while 763-323-9491 black blocks showed places where there was Lifetime Warranty no food. In a series of trials, it took Malamutes 8060 VIKING BLVD NW over 100 tries to figure out the meaning of the Nowthen different blocks, to the point where they would made a beeline for the white block and ignore the black blocks. However, wolves learned in only fifty tries. • In another test, dogs were placed in a maze that had a central point with eight arms radiating outwards. A treat was placed at the Hirin g end of each of the eight arms. Would dogs be Bonu s** able to remember which arms they had already visited once? Or would they go down the same arms over and over again? It turned out that HR and up dogs were efficient at finding the treats 83% of *depending on location the time. However, rats subjected to the same No Experience Necessary test were accurate 90% of the time. Free Training - Flexible Hours • Engineers constructing a natural gas pipeline were worried about persistent leaks that they could not locate because the pipe was www.firstgroupcareers.com buried up to 40 ft. deep (12 m). Trained dogs or Call: 763-421-2219 were called in, and they found and identified ** bonus is for a limited time call today for details over 150 leaks. • John Pilley adopted a border collie puppy named Chaser and decided to see how many words she could learn. Every day he taught her one or two new words, mostly relating to various toys. Was there a limit to Books oks s I, II, & III the number of words she could learn? Would she forget old words as new words crowded her brain? As a retired psychology professor, Pilley wanted to know.

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