Joy. Every day. Pass it on.

by Michael Valliant

“This morning, with her, having coffee.”

That was Johnny Cash’s answer when asked for his definition of paradise. The “her” was June Carter Cash, the love of his life. The thing I love most about the quote is that paradise isn’t something far away or in the distant future. For Cash, he already had it.

For too many of us, happiness is something we project into the future, once we’ve accomplished our list of hopes and dreams, or retirement. But if we don’t have it now, there are no guarantees in the future.

How do we get a sense of our happiness, of our joy, in everyday life? That’s a skill or an attitude we can work on.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt is said to have had a sign on his desk that said, “Let unconquerable glad- ness dwell.” That speaks to a mindset and an aspiration.

Joy connected to God. Boyle encounters heartbreak and death almost daily but still looks to delight, to find joy, every day.

Fr. Gregory Boyle is a Jesuit Priest who has been working for more than 35 years with Los Angeles gang members to help them get off the street and lead lives they feel good about, in community,

In his book Tattoos on the Heart, Boyle writes:

“Dorothy Day loved to quote Ruskin, who urged us all to the ‘Duty of Delight.’ It was an admonition, really, to be watchful for the hilarious and the heartwarming, the silly and sublime. This way will not pass again, and so there is a duty to be mindful of that which delights and keeps joy at the center, distilled from all that happens to us in a day.”

This is no Pollyanna, rose-colored, don’t-worry-be-happy joy. We’re looking for a joy that can surface in the middle of the tough times. Boyle goes on to talk about a former gang member he calls Spider, who at 18 years old worked as an orderly at a hospital. He and his sister raised themselves after being abandoned by their parents. Spider tells Boyle about the joy he gets from eating with his lady and their two kids.

“I just watch ’em eat. They eat and eat. And I just look at ’em and thank God they’re in my life. When they’re done eating and I know they’re full, THEN I eat. And the truth…sometimes there is food left, and sometimes there isn’t.”

An 18-year-old with two kids who works a tough job can find incredible joy just watching his family eat, even when there is not enough food for him. He knows something about joy and gratitude that many of us who have been around much longer forget too easily. That is the kind of joy we can find anywhere if we are willing to look. Boyle makes sure we don’t miss the point:

“The duty to delight is to stare at your family as they eat, anchored in the surest kind of gratitude ~ the sort that erases sacrifice and hardship and absorbs everything else.”

It was a Friday, early afternoon, in the fall. It was a warm, sunny day after a long week. Holly and I jumped in the car, drove to Assateague and spread a blanket on the beach. Sanderling shorebirds ran along the edge of the waves in fast-forward like cartoon characters whose legs should have made highpitched piano tinkling noises. Dol-

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phins were close to shore. Ponies came by, hoping we had food they could steal. It was an absolutely unremarkable afternoon by action movie standards. But I can still feel the warm sun, hear Holly’s laugh and see the birds.

Assateague. Sanderlings. Her laugh.

Johnny Cash was on to something when he left out any words he didn’t need in describing paradise. Maybe simplifying things would help us let go of some of the things that get in the way of finding more joy in each day.

Last spring, a group of us were on a retreat at Camp Pecometh outside of Centreville. It had just gotten dark, and we were gathered around a fire pit. A guitar played, and voices sang familiar songs. People were roasting hot dogs and s’mores. Our friend Dave dropped his hot dog in the fire and just as quicky reached in and plucked it out, unscathed. Dropped-jaw laughter erupted.

Joy

Campfire. Night sky. Music. Saved hot dog.

The conditions for our happiness are built into the ordinary backdrops and events of our lives.

When we are around people we love, our family and friends, it should be particularly easy to find flashes of joy ~ they have our joy in them already. But if we work at it, we can carry that joy with us and share it with others, even those we don’t know.

Boyle writes:

“In the utter simplicity of breathing, we find how naturally inclined we are to delight and to stay dedi- cated to gladness. We bask in God’s unalloyed joy, and we let loose with that same joy in whoever is in front of us. We forget what a vital part of our nature that is.”

We let loose with that same joy in whoever is in front of us.

It’s summer. I am in Ocean City, and I am out for a run along Coastal Highway. I have headphones on and am listening to music. Walk- ing toward me is an older man who looks like he’s had a rough night. The daylight seems to be actively attacking him. He has a heaviness to him. As I start to pass by him, I say, “Good morning!” a bit out of breath. He looks up and his entire being is transfigured—the biggest smile forms on his face, his eyes widen, his face lights up and he beams, “Good morning! How you doing? God bless you!” We both stop for a bit and meet each other, just in and for a moment. And then we go our separate ways.

Coastal Highway. Transfigured. Good morning!

Joy isn’t something we find. It’s not something that lands on us from an external source. It’s something that is in us already. We just have to discover it. And once we find it and we know where to look, we can bring it with us wherever we go. And share it with others.

Joy. Every day. Pass it on.

Michael Valliant is the Assistant for Adult Education and Newcomers Ministry at Christ Church Easton. He has worked for non-profit organizations throughout Talbot County, including the Oxford Community Center, Chesapeake Bay Maritime Museum and Academy Art Museum.