A Journey in Pink: Bonna L. Nelson

A Journey in Pink Part I, Discovery and Two Cuts by Bonna L. Nelson

We have a responsibility to the world to be a beacon of light. ~ Chadwick Boseman

American actor known for portraying Jackie Robinson, James Brown, Thurgood Marshall and the Black Panther, who died at age 43 on August 28, 2020, after courageously battling colon cancer for four years.

I have traveled all over the world, to many exciting places, to all seven continents. I toured the glorious Taj Mahal and rode an elephant in India. I climbed the Great Wall and admired the amazing Terra Cotta Warriors in China. I explored the ancient city of Machu Picchu high in the Andes Mountains in Peru. In Rome, I wandered through glorious ruins and toured Vatican City. I climbed down a cliff on the lovely island of Santorini, Greece, and trekked up to the Acropolis overlooking Athens.

I have sailed into the glorious harbors of Quebec City, Sydney and Venice, and through the Panama Canal. I have watched the Maori performing their ceremonial dance, the “Haka,” in Rotorua, New Zealand, and danced the sensuous Tango in Buenos Aires, Argentina. I have been penguin and whale watching in Antarctica, and so much more. I am blessed to have so many memories of so many journeys.

My travel journeys, my life journey (including my government career, managing people and projects and my writing career) and my life experiences as a daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother and friend have all contributed in some way to my ability to navigate my current journey ~ my Journey in

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A Journey in Pink

Pink, my breast cancer (BC) journey.

Everyone was on a new journey in 2020. Perhaps in February, definitely by March. The COVID-19 pandemic took us all down new paths. It was and is a unique, frightening, deadly, crippling, isolating and overwhelming experience for most of us, and one that the world was not expecting or anticipating. Nor do we know for sure when we will overcome its effects. The pandemic has touched all 7.8 billion of us.

Communally, our health, peace of mind, behavior, economics and relationships are all affected. To top it all off, 2020 was marked by a contentious and raucous rollercoaster ride of a presidential election and its effects on the psyches of both the citizens of the United States and our global neighbors.

My unanticipated BC journey began in March at the beginning of the pandemic. No travel, life, pandemic or cancer journey is the same. I decided to share my journey with readers to raise awareness, to help others on their journey, to educate, to entertain and to share my appreciation and recognition for my family, friends and medical team for their support and encouragement on the crossing to the cure.

Like many of you, I postponed a routine mammogram scheduled for March and other medical appointments when we were advised to isolate, mask, distance, sanitize, etc. Sadly, we also cancelled 2020 travel plans: a family trip to Negril, Jamaica, for Easter; a northwestern Canada tour with friends; and a trip through the Gulf states in the fall. Several months later, as the pandemic raged and my discovery emerged, we cancelled a January 2021 trip to Egypt, including a five-day sail on the Nile River, planned since 2019.

As the pandemic crested in late spring, I rescheduled my routine mammogram for June 9 at Chesapeake Medical Imaging in Easton. As soon as the mammogram was completed, Dr. Alison Williams, the facility radiologist, read the results and asked me to stay for a sonogram.

I’d had decades of normal mammograms, but Dr. Williams discovered something irregular and

wanted to see what a sonogram of the right breast would reveal. Along with Dr. Williams and the radiology technician, I saw a dark circle on my right breast on the sonogram. I knew then and there that I was about to embark on a new, very foreign journey. Dr. Williams scheduled me for bloodwork the next day and a biopsy that Friday, June 12. The journey was moving rapidly.

The biopsy took place as scheduled. To be honest, it didn’t bother me too much. I’ve had a number of basal cell skin cancer biopsies and removals, so I’m a bit used to the procedure, though this was in a much more delicate area, to be sure! I had also recovered successfully from my second knee replacement in December 2018 and had finished physical therapy for the knee, back and hip ~ all consequences of a misaligned knee ~ in June 2019.

I went on to experience a dental issue that required a tooth removal and uncomfortable orthodontic appliances applied in July 2019, with removal delayed by COVID-19 until June 2020, coinciding with my BC discovery. I left my excellent dental team with Dr. Margaret Quimby and fell into the arms of my excellent BC team within days of each other.

I was driving and pulled over when Dr. Williams called me the Tuesday after the biopsy with the results, only a week after she had read the mammogram and sonogram. I find that incredibly amazing. We are all so

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A Journey in Pink

fortunate to live in a town with such efficient, effective, excellent, caring and sensitive medical specialists.

Dr. Williams detailed the results of the biopsy, but I really couldn’t understand what she was telling me. I wrote it down. I thought about it on my way to my last checkup with Dr. Quimby and called Dr. Williams back, as she had encouraged me to do. I asked her to please repeat what she had told me about the biopsy results and to advise me about my next stop on the journey.

I called my husband, John, and daughter, Holly, who were anxious to hear the results. Of course, like me, they had mixed emotions ~ expecting bad news but still shocked by it. We all held our emotions in check to protect Bella, our 10-yearold granddaughter, who had been staying with us in “Camp Easton” on weekdays during the summer, with camps closed by COVID-19 and her parents working. We would plan how to tell her later.

I learned that I had a Stage I, poorly differentiated, grade 3 and very abnormal 0.45 cm invasive ductal carcinoma, a new and irregular solid nodule in the right breast. Dr. Alison recommended that I make a consult appointment with Dr. Roberta Lilly, breast surgical oncologist and director of the Clark Comprehensive Breast Center just a few streets away. Dr. Williams also immediately faxed all of my paper records to Dr. Lilly, and I picked up my digital records to hand deliver.

I marched forward with little emotion, managing the project and following the next path on the journey, though overwhelmed by all that had happened in a just a week. Then, astonishingly, the trip continued at a rapid clip. Dr. Lilly’s office scheduled my consult appointment for the Friday after I received the biopsy results ~ from tumor-revealing mammogram to surgeon in a period of just one and a half weeks!

Between the biopsy and the surgeon appointment, we took another side trip to “Cancer College.” The term was coined by cancer survivor, actress and author Kris Carr in her book, Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips. Cancer College describes the overwhelming and challenging research and learning process that newly

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A Journey in Pink

diagnosed cancer folks embark on to try to better understand the disease, cancer terminology and treatment options.

With my insatiable curiosity and my passion for learning, research and writing, undertaking Cancer College was a natural fit. The first step for any project or travel plan is to get organized. I purchased pink folders (the BC pink is explained later), a portfolio, lined tablets and pink pens. I set up folders for each destination on the journey.

Next, I conducted research on breast cancer, my cancer and treatment options. Websites for the American Cancer Society, the National Breast Cancer Foundation and the Susan G. Komen Foundation have helpful information, including questions to ask each specialist. John and I prepared questions, and he took notes during meetings.

Dr. Lilly and Nurse Navigator Robin Ford greeted us warmly on June 19 and spent two hours reviewing my cancer and biopsy results. Their recommendations were very encouraging and supportive. Dr. Lilly also conducted a physical examination, another sonagram, ordered more biopsy tests, ordered an MRI and recommended that I have genetic testing for BC, which I agreed to.

Dr. Lilly presented an optimistic picture for my outcome and said that I have a 95 percent 5-year survival rate. She presented a treatment plan that included a lumpectomy to remove the tumor and removal of a few nearby lymph nodes in hopes of finding clear margins around the tumor and no cancer cells in the lymph nodes, which would indicate that the cancer had not spread.

Surgery would be followed by adjuvant therapy. Four chemotherapy treatments should kill off any leftover roaming cancer cells. Then, up to two months of radiation would target the area where the tumor was removed, just in case any nasty cancer cells remained. This plan was the standard of care developed for my BC, to which had been added the ominous descriptor of “triple negative,” indicating an even higher invasive nature of the tumor.

Robin Ford

A Journey in Pink

The pandemic had caused a hold on elective surgeries. The University of Maryland Shore Regional Health Hospital was just opening the surgery schedule, and it was jammed. July 23 was the earliest surgery date available for Dr. Lilly to make the two big cuts. I asked to be put on standby for an earlier surgery date if one became available. I wanted to get rid of that nasty tumor as quickly as possible. Fortunately, they were able to reschedule me for July 9. Note the speed with which our local medical team proceeded: from a June 9 tumor discovery to a lumpectomy just a month later. Miraculous!

I learned much during the journey to surgery, including that my BC was one of the most common and was not genetically based. There was no known reason for it ~ good news for my family. From Robin, I received two small pillows in a pink tote bag to provide comfort after surgery under car seatbelts and while sleeping at night, as well as two light, humorous books about cancer: Cancer Has Its Privileges, Stories of Hope and Laughter by Christine Clifford and Chicken Soup for the Soul, Breast Cancer, both of which I recommend. Robin has also always gone above and beyond to answer my telephone calls and emails with sensitivity and caring.

I formed my BC support group from my family and close friends. Everyone needs a support group, though that can be difficult during an isolating pandemic. John, my best friend, has been by my side from the beginning, at every doctor’s appointment, test, surgery etc., if allowed during the pandemic safety restrictions. He is a good listener, patient, kind, compassionate, an excellent cook and manages our lives thoughtfully. He is also quite funny. Along with our beloved Golden Retriever, Cooper, my writing and Bella, I have some wonderful distractions.

Our daughter, Holly, also my best friend, jumped right on board. She sent us our first bouquet of beautiful flowers, our first casserole and a bright pink tote bag to carry the growing load of BC files. When we learned that chemotherapy would cause me to lose my hair, she researched wig shops and helped me select a lovely wig that looks like my own hair. Though she owns a pediatric occupational therapy (OT) busi-

A Journey in Pink

ness and is an OT practitioner, she readily received my frequent calls in the early days of my BC shock, confusion and sadness.

In my group of three closest friends, there are, unbelievably, two breast cancer survivors and one with cancers in the family. Ann Musser is a BC survivor whose husband, Bob, wrote a marvelous book, The Pink Primer, for Partners in Need of Koaching. I reread the book, and John and Holly both read Bob’s welcome and humorous tips on how to get through the BC journey. Ann was always available by phone, text and email and with distanced visits to answer questions about surgery and chemotherapy. She is strongly encouraging.

Linda Meade, also a BC survivor, shared her surgery and radiation experiences with me and is always available through all means possible for support and inspiration.

Fran Tettlebaum, who has experience with cancer in her family, has always been there for me for anything and everything. She is so kind and caring. She checks on me before and after every procedure and distance visits.

Our neighbors the Connollys, Careys and Dalrymples have kept our spirits high throughout the pandemic and my BC diagnosis with safely distant outside gatherings in our backyards, calls, emails, texts, cards, flowers and meals. Rita Connolly even made a delicious batch of

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A Journey in Pink

ginger cookies for my queasy stomach during treatment and shared a scrumptious pot pie and visits.

Our neighbors the Haddaways have done the same, joining us for porch chats and continuously bringing us delicious dinners, so meal planning is easier. Socialization really lifts the spirits during these isolating times, and we are so grateful to be able to see them all. We hope that everyone can safely share their time and caring with neighbors who need help or a lift.

My dear friends at the YMCA @ Washington Street, the Floor, Core and More Class, have been my lifeline to health for more than fourteen years. Wendy Palmer, the associate executive director and our class instructor, wonderfully began providing ZOOM classes when gyms were closed due to COVID-19. When the Y classes resumed, distanced indoors, and I reconnected with my friends, I shared my BC diagnosis with classmates and was reminded that, incredibly, at least half of our class of 15–20 gals had experienced some form of cancer, that two gals that I currently train with are in treatment for cancer, and a third had BC cancer a few years back. Now we exchange information about our treatment programs and encourage each other as we proceed on our journeys. I am back on Zoom for class, per doctors’ orders, to avoid virus exposure and always look forward to seeing my friends and fellow cancer travelers on camera.

Family and friends have sent cards and email well-wishes, flowers and other gifts, showering us with love, comfort and joy. My book club buddies continue to cheer me on. We feel like we are surrounded by warm hugs, even though no one can hug these days. We try to send the hugs and love back to those that we know need inspiration and caring.

The surgery was a success. The two incisions have healed nicely. And, though a second noninvasive tumor was found around the first, the margins were free of cancer cells and the lymph nodes had no additional cancer present. John and I were so relieved and tried to smile under our masks as Dr. Lilly and Robin gave us the good news.

Dr. Lilly, her staff and the hospital staff were efficient, kind and supportive. After a brief recuperation, Dr. Lilly sent me to Jen Pierson, an occupational therapist who specializes in lymphedema, a swelling of the arm that can occur after BC-related lymph node surgery due to lymph blockages. Jen assured me that be-

A Journey in Pink

cause I am healthy and fit, I was not a candidate for the disease and that I could continue my fitness program.

Worried about how to tell Bella about my diagnosis without upsetting her too much, I shared my plan with Holly and received her approval. How much to tell children is a challenging question. They need to be told as much as they can handle because you can’t hide it from them. They will know something is up.

Before surgery, I explained to Bella that all of us have illnesses over the years and need to see doctors, have surgeries, therapy, etc. I cited Bella’s recent tooth extractions and that her grandfather and I both had knee replacements and physical therapy. That led to a discussion about my BC surgery and that I would be okay after all the treatments. I explained that I wouldn’t feel well sometimes and that I would lose my hair and needed her help with my wig selection. She was on board, worried but understanding and supportive. I hope that this discussion might help others with the difficult task.

So, what about the pink aspect of BC? The pink ribbon is the international symbol of BC awareness. Pink ribbons, and the color pink specifically, are considered feminine and identify the wearer with BC and express support for women with BC and BC survivors. I ordered pink bracelets and pins for family and friends and T-shirts for my immediate family unit.

When we visited Holly, Randy and Bella on Labor Day weekend, we all agreed to wear our BC paraphernalia and a neighbor, Heather, would take our photo. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to see what occurred when we all walked outside for a photo shoot.

Holly had arranged a “Drive-by for the Cure.” Family and friends drove by Holly’s house three times, tooting car horns and shouting, waving posters and blowing kisses to support my fight for the cure. On the last round, they stopped so that I could tearfully blow kisses and thank them for spending their afternoon cheering us on. We were surrounded by the love of Randy’s mother, Anna; his brother, Kenny, and wife, Toni; his sister Annice; sister Staci and friend Mike; nephew Ron and friend Enise; good friends Joan and Bob; and “second daughters” Heather and Chris. I was amazed and grateful. Oh, the love that keeps you going.

This part of my Journey in Pink ends on the positive note of a successful BC surgery and a huge outpouring of healing love that continued with the next part of the journey ~ chemotherapy and associated hair loss ~ all a part of seeking the cure.

Bonna L. Nelson is a Bay-area writer, columnist, photographer and world traveler. She resides in Easton with her husband, John.