Resolve and a Rule for the New Year: Michael Valliant

Resolve and a Rule for the New Year

by Michael Valliant

New Year’s resolutions are not a tradable currency. Many of them disappear like so many January gym memberships. I gave up trying to come up with them. But there is something I know I need more of in the coming year: resolve. Think of it as a mindset, an approach to the year and to life. There are two writers who give glimpses into what resolve might mean for us: Anne Lamott and St. Benedict of Nursia.

2021 was a year that often felt like treading water, at times going under, often not feeling like I was getting anywhere. I would get done the daily tasks that needed to happen, move on to the next day, the next things on the to-do list, then crash, feeling stuck. Welcome to life in a pandemic. Resolve says keep at it; get back up. I can do more.

Lamott’s book Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and

Resolve and a Rule feels too big and the number of things coming at me feels like too Life gets its title from a conversa- much, “just take it bird by bird.” tion her father had with her older Lamott’s book claims to be inbrother, who at age 10 had pro- structions for writing and life ~ crastinated writing a report to the one is not unlike the other. We point that he didn’t think he could write the stories of our lives, day by get it written. day, just like writing bird by bird.

“He was at the kitchen table We don’t always think about writclose to tears, surrounded by bind- ing or creating our lives. What do er paper and pencils and unopened we do if we get existential writer’s books about birds, immobilized by block? What if we don’t know what the hugeness of the task ahead,” to say? What if we think we won’t Lamott wrote. “Then my father do a good job at it? sat down beside him, put his arm “Almost all good writing begins around my brother’s shoulder, and with terrible first efforts,” Lamott said, ‘Bird by bird, buddy. Just wrote. “You need to start sometake it bird by bird.’” where.” She talks about crappy

That’s the first part of resolve I first drafts being something everywant to keep with me. When life one has. I can certainly translate

WEAVER, MAVITY, SHORT ASSOCIATES, LLC

Since 1982

A full range of tax and accounting services: · Individual and Business · Estates and Trusts · Non-Profits

Call us for a consultation today!

117 Bay Street, Suite F, Easton, MD • 410-820-8400 daley_weaver@verizon.net

those to my own life for sure.

Sometimes life becomes too confused or messy to know which way is up. What do I do with life’s messiness? What if a mess is all I see when I look around? Lamott has some thoughts:

“Clutter and mess show us that life is being lived...Tidiness makes me think of held breath, of suspended animation... Perfectionism is a mean, frozen form of idealism, while messes are the artist’s true friend. What people somehow forgot to mention when we were children was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here.”

Life is messy. The mess is where our material comes from. It’s the

Beall Appraisal Service, LLC

Antiques :: Decorative Arts :: Household Contents

Down-Sizing, Estate Planning, Insurance, Charitable Contribution & Probate Claiborne B. Beall, ASA

Serving Maryland’s Eastern Shore BeallAppraisals.com Call 410-271-6069

stuff of our lives. Order comes out of chaos.

I understand the mess part of things. And the need to create our own order. And that is where I pass the baton to St. Benedict. Benedict lived in the late 400s to early 500s in Italy as a religious reformer and is known as a major influencer of what we think of as monasticism. I’m not saying any of us need to become monks, but Benedict came up with ways to put order in place to get the most out of our lives, especially knowing our lives would be in community with other people. He came up with a rule of life.

Benedict’s rule has been adapted, translated and reformatted for all kinds of purposes around the world ever since. The Friends of St. Benedict, a group based in Washington, DC, points out, “Although written for monastics, many of the issues addressed in the Rule can be applied to life in the world outside the monastic community. The qualities which make up a valued life ~ humility, patience, simplicity, solitude, caring for others, and living in community ~ concern everyone.”

A rule, or system, to help us structure our lives in a way that brings us humility, patience, simplicity, solitude, and helps us care

S. Hanks Interior Design

Suzanne Hanks Litty Oxford, Maryland

shanksinteriordesign@gmail.com 410-310-4151

for others and live in community. I need more of that, please.

I have become a huge fan of Rowan Williams, who was the Archbishop of Canterbury in England for 10 years and writes books that make me want to, and try to, live a better life. In his book The Way of St. Benedict, Williams explains that learning and practicing a rule of life is about “acquiring tools for living accountably alongside others.” He goes on to say:

“We are badly in need of the undramatic but transformative wisdom of Benedict’s Rule if we are to live with gratitude and in the very fullest meaning of the words, common sense in our feverish, lonely, and fearful world. Listen: other ways are possible.”

If I want to give Benedict a try and see what using such a rule might look like, how am I going to spend my time? The Friends of St. Benedict point out that the rule revolves around five practices: prayer, work, study, hospitality, and renewal.

Let’s break those down a bit. We can think of prayer as quiet time, meditation, and reflection. Work isn’t just our jobs, it’s also those aspects of working in our communities, doing things together with family, those active aspects of creating something with our lives. To study is to be a lifelong learner, to

deepen our understanding. Hospitality ~ even we introverts need connection to others, how we treat others and invite people into our lives. And renewal ~ that sense of leisure, rest, taking time to be grateful for what we have around us and to recharge.

Adopting our own rule of life, putting some structure in place so that life, and living in community with others, has more meaning and value, and recharges us. That is something I know I want more of for the coming year. Benedict and Lamott both have some further words to get us going in the right direction, very simply.

In his rule, Benedict says, “It is time now for us to rise from sleep.”

Lamott puts it back to us, remembering the writing and life connection:

“Because this business of becoming conscious, of being a writer, is ultimately about asking yourself, How alive am I willing to be?”

Michael Valliant is the Assistant for Adult Education and Newcomers Ministry at Christ Church Easton. He has worked for non-profi t organizations throughout Talbot County, including the Oxford Community Center, Chesapeake Bay Maritime Museum and Academy Art Museum.

EASTERN SHORE

TITLE COMPANY

e Mid-Shore’s Leader in Real Estate Title Services “Why settle for less when you can settle with the best!”

Melissa Grimes-Guy Photography 114 North West Street | Easton, MD 21601 410.820.4426 | www.easternshoretitle.com