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All American (Part XIV): Roger VaughanChanges
All American Part XIV of a novel in many parts by Roger Vaughan
Previously: The year is 1988. Andy Thomas makes an ill-advised tactical call during a race in 50-foot sailboats that nearly causes a dangerous collision. His father, Mitchell (at the helm), is livid. Later, at the awards dinner, a drunken Andy delivers a public declaration that makes it virtually impossible for Mitchell Thomas, a well-known amateur sailor, not to mount a Round the World Race challenge.
Mitchell is CEO of Moss Optical, a company inherited by his wife, Deedee Moss. He is thoroughly outraged by his son’s gaffe. At a board meeting held in Moss’s planetarium-board room, a proposal to sponsor the first American boat in the Race is presented, and accepted, much to Deedee’s delight.
Colorful two-time America’s Cup winner Jan Sargent holds one of his high-intensity press conferences to announce he has been asked by Mitchell Thomas to skipper the Moss boat, All American.
In his office at Moss, Andy is distraught, having learned his father has made him part of All American’s crew. He agonizes over this to his friend Jeff Linn, a Moss opticist. After an unpleasant meeting with his father, who is adamant about Andy going on the Race, he drives to see his mother, Deedee, on the family’s Long Island estate, hoping she will intervene.
Andy has a very pleasant sail with his mother ~ her favorite thing to do ~ but is distraught to find her conviction about him going on the race is set in concrete.
When pressed, Ossie, the old Norwegian who has run the family’s waterfront for 40 years, says only that Andy’s mother has a very good reason for insisting he go on the race.
Andy spends two weeks with the crew doing an Outward Bound course for training and bonding. As the boss’s son, he is subjected to hazing from this fraternity of professional sailors, and he hits back. He also proves he can sail.
At home, seated at his powerful telescope, Andy reveals his proclivity for astronomy. His
All American the deck. Andy is grabbed by a eye-candy girlfriend, Isha, is dis- over the side. He’s certain he had covered being nosy about a secret clipped on. project of Andy’s. crewman as he is being washed
Andy hopes a visit with his *** mother will result in her reneging about his going on the race, but “ It sounds impossible, I agree, instead she reveals family secrets. but the guy still has more patients
After a crew meeting with de- than he can handle. He had to take signer Gibb Frey to learn about on a partner!” Joe Dugan was talktheir new boat, Andy gets excit- ing from the wheel. ing news about his secret project Dawn was breaking. It was quite ~ the astronomy-themed hotel spectacular, one of those clear, and observatory campus. He has cloudless mornings with unlimited another difficult meeting with his visibility, the ocean calm as a lake, father over his mother’s illness. wind under three knots moving Andy tries to engage Ossie about All American through the glassy his mother, but he learns little. birth of a new day bathed water with just a ripple of a wake. Not
At the launching everything in harsh good for racing, but of All American, the yellow light one of those specrew officially ac- cial mornings Andy cepts Andy over a few bottles of would never forget. The peace, the rum. Becky Cotton, a childhood isolated calm of such a morning as friend of Andy’s, shows up and dis- All American approached the equatracts him. After an embarrassing tor, a thousand miles from land, miss on her first try, Deedee con- the crew suspended in a tiny craft nects with a bottle of champagne roughly two miles above the ocean and christens All American. floor, was ethereal. Roger Davis’
The day of the Round the World watch was silent as the birth of a race start, Andy has a relapse. new day bathed everything in harsh He retreats to a container, then yellow light. Damaris and Sargent responds to Becky Cotton calling slipped up from below to catch the his name. With purpose, she kisses moment. him. Late, he runs to the boat. The wind had crapped out an
On board, it is rough living. On hour before the Davis watch had deck, it is worse. As All American taken over at 2 a.m. With the propdrives into big seas in heavy wind, er, lightest heads’l up, there wasn’t green water frequently sweeps a whole lot to do but watch the sails 126
All American ing. Although feedback made his conversation more interesting. and put some weight to leeward. Joe didn’t disappoint. His brothDavis had given the helm to Joe er was on his mind. No one knew Dugan. Joe had a brother. That seemed to
It was a happy group that morn- focus attention. Family stuff was ing. Frustration over the wind state always a juicy subject, and it was had been dismissed by Sargent re- all safe there in outer space under minding his crew that it was quite the cover of darkness, in the secure pointless to waste energy over what vault of a race boat. Safer than Fort they could not control. Knox.
Teddy Bosworth, on Sargent’s It turned out Joe’s brother was a watch, had been particularly veterinarian. Seems he’d had a pasfreaked out by the onset of the calm sion for animals as a kid that had conditions. Bosworth had taken stayed with him as he got older. to complaining about it every five He had always wanted to be a vet, minutes or so, driving himself and so he’d studied hard and had been everyone else crazy. accepted by the University of Penn-
“Teddy,” Sargent had finally said sylvania’s well-known vet school. to him quietly, “Shut up. Save your energy, family stuff He graduated with honors, hung out a man, because you’re was always shingle. Then the gonna need it. Stay a juicy subject problem started. calm so you’ll feel “He found himself the conditions changing and be not paying much attention to the ready to react to them. That’s rac- animals he didn’t like,” Joe Dugan ing, what we’re out here for, not had said. “Giving them short shrift.” ranting, which is a distraction.” “Amazing,” Davis said.
The next watch was happy be- “Hey, I can understand that. It cause driving was an activity that makes sense,” said Stu Samuels. always caused Dugan to talk his “But one question: that problem head off. Nobody minded because had never come up before?” Joe was always entertaining. He “No. I asked him that,” Joe said. talked very quietly, as if he were “The pets we had at home we all talking to himself. Feedback wasn’t liked, or my father would move necessary. He was driving, paying them on if they were troublesome, attention, keeping his head focused you know, bad actors. Once my dad on the sails, the wind instruments, caught one of our cats, Alan, peeing the speed and talking. Joe didn’t on the marble table in the kitchen. seem to care if anyone was listen- He’d been trying for weeks to dis128
All American says, ‘take this freaking, spoiled little shit of a dog out of here’?’” cover which of our three cats was Joe laughed. “Naw. Paul wouldn’t leaving the smelly dried-up puddle have done that. Too polite. But he on the table. We had a family meet- told me several of his patients were ing about it. Dad was good with bugging him. He found himself animals. That’s probably where ignoring them. For one reason or Paul got it from. Dad explained that another, he just didn’t like them.” while Alan was a fine cat, there was Dugan paused. “Roger, whaddayasomething about our environment think about the halyard tension on that gave him a problem. Alan ex- the heads’l. . .maybe a little ease?” pressed it by peeing on the table. Davis got up, walked slowly and We were sad, but we got it. Paul and carefully forward up the leeward I were charged with finding Alan a side so as not to disturb what monew home. And we did. It all worked mentum the boat had. He played out.” the flashlight over the sail, then
“Who took him?” Stu Samuels walked back. “I think it’s good.” asked. “Alan. Ha. Great name for a “Pets are like people,” Dugan cat.” said, picking up where he left off.
“Dad named him “Good ones, bad after Alan Ladd, the Listening to Joe made ones, some you like, actor. Actually, an Andy wonder how his some you don’t. Ask older lady a couple dogs were me how I know. I’m a streets over took P.A. A vet’s patients him. We got to visit him.” can’t say what’s wrong with them.
“He never peed on her table? Stu Vets really get into studying animal asked. behavior so they can look for clues
“No. I don’t think so.” That got a about what might be ailing them. laugh. Some vets, like Paul, go the extra
“At vet school, I guess they had mile, dig into animal personality. a variety of animals they practiced Paul said to me one time that anion and observed, whatever,” Du- mals are like any other group ~ and gan continued. “They were people’s by that he meant groups like teachpets, but Paul and his pals were ers, musicians, builders, lawyers ~ studying, so it didn’t matter much, in that there are some really fine I guess.” people at the top, some seriously
“He hangs out a shingle,” Caskie mean-ass losers at the bottom, and asked, “and some woman brings the rest are in the middle somein a little puff ball that won’t stop where. The old bell curve works for barking, and it bites him and he animals.” 130
All American “You mean he might refuse the case, tell the owner and his sick
Joe went quiet for a moment, puppy to bag ass?” Stu said. focusing on the instruments as a “That’s about the size of it,” Joe little six-knot gust dusted the boat. said. Andy, who was watching the jib, “People didn’t freak out?” trimmed a click with the pressure, “No, because Paul is a very cool then eased as the puff moved on. guy, and he developed a great rap Listening to Joe made Andy wonder about the critical importance of a how his dogs were. They were stay- vet being able to relate to an animal. ing with Jeff while he was away. He He never told anyone he didn’t like knew they liked Jeff. their animal, just that he was hav-
“Paul tried different things,” Joe ing a hard time relating to the anicontinued as he responded to a mal, and if he couldn’t relate to it, ten-degree wind shift to the right. it was going to be very difficult for “Down ten.” Davis entered the time him to treat it.” in a little notebook he kept in his “That’s freakin’ brilliant,” Caskie shirt pocket. “First he would tell said. the owner of a dog he “It also makes didn’t like that an- it became a thing if you sense,” Joe said, other vet was better and your pet got to be “and also, Paul really at treating the dog’s Paul's patient believes it. particular illness. “Caskie, could you But he realized he couldn’t use that please sit on the low side?” all the time. Then he thought he’d Caskie moved. say he didn’t have room for another “I’m betting owners were very patient, but that was a crock since involved in this process,” Stu said he’d just started his practice.” Joe with a chuckle. paused. “Back up ten degrees.” Da- “Yeah, that’s really the brilliant vis made a note. part,” Joe said. “Some of the time
“Wha’d’e do?” Stu Samuels asked. it was the pet’s owner who was the
“He decided to come right out bad actor Paul didn’t want to have with it,” Joe said. “That’s like Paul. to deal with.” He hates bullshit. Takes after my “This is so cool,” Caskie said. dad. He just went for it. He got his “And it worked out? He’s still in receptionist to tell first-time call- business?” ers that their initial appointment “Thriving,” Joe said. “He would be like an interview, free, no changed the name of his practice charge, unless he decided to take to Vet Pet Connect. He’s in a small the case and begin treatment.” town. Word got around, and it be132
All American harassment, a dubious seafaring tradition with mysterious origins. came a thing if you and your pet got Over the years, those with ento be one of Paul’s patients. If you thusiasm for carrying out elaborate passed muster, if you were accept- and distressing harassment in the ed. A feather in your cap, a member name of initiation have taken the of an exclusive club. There was no rigors of the initial crossing of the list of those who were turned away, equator to brutal lengths that have but the gossip was intense. ‘Hey,’” included beatings, sexual assaults, Joe whispered,”’did you hear Mrs. even a few deaths. The U.S. Navy Jones and Fifi weren’t accepted?’” was forced to write regulations to
“Mrs. Jones and Fifi,” Stuart temper the potentially harmful cracked up. “Can you imagine, Mrs. equator-crossing hazing rituals. Jones who tries to run everything Race boats are not exempt in town in that snotty way of hers, from the tradition, although one always with that rotten little fluffer might think that life aboard those tagging along with its sparkly collar stripped-down vessels where life’s and the little red bow in its hair. . necessities, not to mention comfort, .Mrs. Jones being rejected! Mrs. Jones! they would be subject to are reduced to conditions the Humane Ha ha ha what a a certain amount Society would conhoot. I’m gonna get of harassment demn is punishment a dog and move to enough. A priority of wherever Paul lives so Buster and I every man aboard every boat in the can be his patients.” race was keeping his personal gear
“You’d never be accepted,” Caskie as dry and as organized as possible. said. Having one’s stuff interfered with
“He should make it a franchise,” was a nightmare. Andy had heard Stu said. “Vet Pet Connect. I love it.” tales about what other first-timers
“Wish I could do it with my pa- had endured, including having motients,” Joe said. tor oil poured in their boots; having
All American crossed the equa- their clothing soaked in salt water tor at high noon. Barely. They were and tied in knots; or of themselves barely moving. The mains’l hung being stripped and shaved. Andy slack. The jib had been lowered. But had considered lying about having it was a special moment for Larry made a previous crossing. But he and Caskie Kolegeri, and for Andy. knew he would be found out and deNone of them had ever crossed the cided to just let it happen. equator before, meaning they would That’s why at high noon, in be subject to a certain amount of board-shrinking, 105-degree heat, 134
under a blue, cloudless sky, Andy found himself sitting in the cockpit alongside the Kolegerie brothers, naked except for the Speedo bathing suit he wore as skivvies, and pouring sweat.
Jan Sargent came up the companionway as King Neptune, complete with a long white beard he’d purchased for the occasion, using a towel as a robe, with a makeshift trident made from a boat hook. Sargent was the right man for the part. In an instant, he had become Neptune. Roger Davis and Richard Crouse were his lackies. Davis held a large pot from the galley with the handle of a ladle protruding from it.
Sargent had his best Lord of the Deep voice on as he read from a document about equatorial traditions. “Sailors undergoing one ceremony,” Sargent read, “were physically and verbally abused before having a dark liquid daubed over their naked bodies, then forced to jump overboard until allowed back on the submarine.”
Sargent paused and looked up, his face fierce as he addressed the three men seated before him. “And so, you dirty tadpoles, you come before me because you have sinned. And what is your sin, tadpole Caskie?”
“I released the jib when we tacked, your elegance.”
“A vile sin if there ever was one. Christen our friend with the stew of Neptune!”
Davis advanced on Caskie, scooped up a brimming ladle of a frothy, slimy mix of coffee grounds, chunks of meat that had gone bad and been saved for this moment, moldy hunks of bread, very old banana slices, dish soap and a cup or two of old motor oil added for thickening.
“Absolve this dirty tadpole of his sins,” Neptune pronounced as Davis dumped several ladles of stew over
Caskie’s head and shoulders, making sure it ran down across his face.
Larry received similar treatment after admitting he had brushed his teeth every time he went on watch.
Then came Andy.
“And dirty tadpole Andy, you look like a very bad sinner to me. Confess!”
“I am the boss’s son,” Andy muttered, already revolted by the bad smell of the stew that had splashed on him when Davis had dumped it on Larry.
“The boss’s son!” Neptune roared, laughing maniacally as the rest of the crew howled and applauded. “The boss’s son. . .tell me, could there be a worse sin?”
“Nooooo,” the crew intoned as one.
“His redemption will require the max,” Neptune railed. “You know what to do,” he said to Davis.
Davis emptied the pot on Andy’s head, shaking out the residue stuck to the bottom, the chunks of vile 136
stuff , the coff ee grounds, until Andy was covered in the gross mix. David left the pot covering Andy’s head.
“Boil, boil, trouble and toil,” Neptune muttered. “Ah, if we’d only had an eye of newt! But we are almost done here with our miracle of converting hopeless dirty tadpoles into strong salts of the sea. But fi rst they must sit here in the hot equatorial sun for a few minutes and let this stew, this stew of salvation, bake into their very pores.”
The three sat immobile, heads down, dirty tadpoles indeed. Unhappy tadpoles, to say the very least. The pot slipped off Andy’s head and fell with a clang into the cockpit. The crew made derisive comments.
Pete Dimaris had popped below, having heard an electronic sound that indicated an incoming fax. Now he came back up the companionway, a sheet of paper in hand. “It’s for you,” Dimaris said, extending the sheet to Andy.
Andy looked up, wiped a hand across his eyes, then took the sheet. He stared at it for a long minute, his face expressionless behind its layer of stew. He let the sheet drop onto the wet mess of the cockpit fl oor. Then he slowly stood up. “Son of a bitch!” he screamed into the empty void of sky, sea and horizon, startling the crew into silence. “Son of a bitch,” Andy repeated quietly. Then he dove over the side.
Sargent turned to Dimaris. “What did it say?” Dimaris shrugged.
Joe Dugan had gingerly picked up the stew-soaked sheet and was looking at it. “Not much,” he said. “Slightly diffi cult to read: ‘Mountain View. . .has hit the wall.’”
“All right, fi sh that newly christened strong salt out of the water,” Sargent said, pulling off his beard. “And the three of you clean up this mess you’ve made.”
Roger Vaughan hopes you will vote your conscience. Previous chapters of All American are available at tidewatertimes.com.