Anointed Fire's 4G Network presents
Why You Haven't Met Your Husband by Tiffany Kameni 4G Network located at www.tiffanykameni.com Anointed Fire located at www.anointedfire.com AF 4G Network Site Coming Soon
Even though I am a married woman, I have found that most women that the LORD sends to me are single and waiting to be found by their husbands. They are wonderful women of GOD who will, one day, make excellent wives, but it is normal that this day, they long to meet the man that will take them away. But, the LORD dealt with my heart in relation to HIS daughters and much of what I have shared with them, HE wants me to share with you. The most common question that women have is, “Why haven't I met my husband? How do I know when a man is him? How long do I have to wait?” Let me share a story with you that is a common story amongst married couples. We'll make up some names for identification purposes. Maria was a single woman of GOD. Beautiful, intelligent and a mother of two children from previous relationships. Of course, those relationships took place when Maria was in the world, but now, she's a better person. Her standards are higher. She has committed to waiting and remaining celibate this time so she can be found by her husband. But, like most single women, Maria gets her share of flirts, date proposals, etc. and she is always asking herself, “Is this him? Is this man my husband?” A few months later, she discovers, that he wasn't. He was just another waste of her time and the waiting commences once again. One day, Maria met Jason. Jason was handsome, intelligent and he had a job! Now, Jason believed in GOD, but he wasn't a church goer. He said that he believed Maria, through her faith, could help him be a better person. So, the relationship continues and as the months went on, Jason went to church with Maria a few times and eventually, they were married. Honeymoon's over Maria. Now, that they are married, Maria begins to notice somethings about Jason that she doesn't like. She saw a few signs before marriage, but they weren't this extreme. Jason happens to like secular music. All of those profane lyrics fill their new home, troubling Maria's spirit. The lyrics are so evil! Maria confronts Jason, who then tells her that he tolerates her gospel music, so she could tolerate his music. Breathe Maria. Maria walks away, upset, after ministering to a man who didn't want to hear anything about JESUS, he only wanted to hear what was coming out of his radio. Maria walks away into a quiet place to cry and pray. She decides that this isn't so bad. It'll stop eventually. 12 Sundays have passed and Jason still refuses to go to church with Maria. As a matter of fact, he's beginning to get irritated with her dedication to the temple. He suspects Maria may have a 'thing' for the Pastor or her and the Pastor are having an affair. It has to be one of them, in his mind. After all, they have argued and argued about it and she continues to go there. So, Jason decides to threaten to leave the now pregnant Maria and it works. She stops going to that church and finds another church home. But, this doesn't stop Jason's frustration with her going to church. New church home, to Jason, meant, new church man for Maria. Again, he begin to torment her with arguments, coming home late and threatening to leave her. End of Story.
I know you wanted a happy ending, but, right now, as we speak, this is the situation for millions of women. Truthfully, many of the ladies that I have met, that have settled and married share this same testimony. What happened? An old devil lied to Maria. She believed that she could change this man by taking him to church and introducing him to a different way of life. He believed that Maria was accepting him just as he is, but the only thing that needed to be changed about her is her frequenting the church. They married and both of them took active roles in their assumptions and soon discovered that you cannot change another human being. The life, in this situation, that is affected the most is the life of that believer. Do you want this to be your story? Because I can almost guarantee you that you will tell it, if you do not wait on the LORD, word for word. The truth of it is: You are at a certain level in CHRIST. HE wants to elevate you higher in HIM, so that you can serve as HIS wife. HE wants you to know HIM more, seek HIM more, find HIM more, spend more time with HIM, worship HIM, love HIM, etc. HE wants to fill you with HIS precious WORD, but you, being a single woman, your eyes are fixated on getting a husband. Sure, you go to church. You quote scriptures. But, while the LORD is watching over you, you are on high alert, waiting on Mr. Right, hoping to stop this trend of being hung up with another Mr. Right Now. But, as you are so anxious to meet this man, the LORD is deeply in love with you. You say to HIM, “Send me a husband. I'll be a good wife. I'll be attentive to him and his needs, I'll cook for him, I'll keep the house clean, I'll worship you with him, I'll be such a good wife to him.” But, the LORD wants to know, “What about ME?” You're not attentive to the LORD. You're not sending up that sweet aroma of praise often. Sunday morning worship isn't the only time you should worship HIM. You're not keeping your house (body) clean for HIM. Anytime a man comes, you're either fornicating or dreaming of fornicating....then repenting and when he goes, you've allowed his absence to create another dark spot in your heart. How can you be a good wife to a man if you are not a good wife to the LORD? Do you understand that you were not just put here to be some man's wife? You have a purpose and when you do not fulfill that purpose, you are subjected yourself to a life no different than a civilized animal, because your repetitive cooking, cleaning and lovemaking isn't doing anything for the LORD. Your first loyalty is to the LORD. Period. The LORD does not want to send you a husband when you are not in the place that HE has called you to. Because that means you are lower than you are called to be. And, of course, that means, the man that you wound up with would have to be lower than the one HE has chosen for you. Sisters, here is what happens. Right now, if you are not where the LORD wants you to be and you meet a man and marry him, but your heart is still settled on doing the LORD's will, something bad will happen. What is it? Ever heard a couple going through a divorce say that they grew apart? In many cases, they are not lying. What happens is, you will go and grow closer to the LORD and that's movement. You are moving forward. But, your husband is still in the same place or heading in the other direction. Now, you are so wrapped up in the LORD that the husband doesn't like you anymore. You're not speaking his language anymore. You get convicted too easy. You've changed. You have emerged into a beautiful butterfly in the LORD and he's still in a cocoon with no thought of coming out of it.
Even if you meet a man of GOD, this does not mean that he is your husband or that he is ripe enough to be anyone's husband. Sometimes, ladies, we do meet our true husbands. But, out of eagerness, we want to marry him and fast. You've prayed to meet him and you did. But, he's a sour fruit right now. This isn't his season, nor is it yours. But, you want it...gotta have him, won't take no for an answer. The LORD will give you the desires of your heart. But, get ready. Just as Israel asked for a king and got Saul, you, asked for a husband and there he is. And he's bitter, because he hasn't ripened yet. He's not ready yet for you. He was being prepared, filled with the sweetness of the LORD, but you kept calling him out in prayer. And he came. He can't love you the right way right now because he's not finished yet. Even though he takes you to the altar, he goes to church with you, you begin to see the filth that is still in him. You begin to see the hurt that is still in him. The LORD is still working on him, but now, you're in the picture, anxious for him to be the man in the pulpit instead of the man at the back of the church sending text messages and giggling. It's not his fault. It's yours! The LORD was still working on him and you got anxious, even though FATHER said, “Be anxious for nothing.” Then, you're out telling your friends and church members that he's not a real Christian. Why are you acting like that? You weren't ready yet, that's why. You're still bitter yourself. Your season was coming, but you couldn't wait, wouldn't wait, didn't think you should wait. Because in all of those leader's teachings of how you can have whatsoever you want if you only believe, they forgot to mention the seasons. That is, if you pray for it, the seed is sown, but it doesn't mean you'll get it right away. Calm down and wait. The seed is sown, water it with your praise, cultivate it with your obedience, stir the ground with your worship. Stop digging up that seed, hoping to see it sprout. Any and everything that you pray for will come to you, if it is according to the will of GOD and if you believe for it. But, it has to go through the seasons. A season, in the spirit realm, could change in 2.4 seconds, or it could be in 2.4 years. But, unlike the seasons in the natural realm, a spiritual season can change faster simply by your willingness to hear from the LORD and hearken unto HIS Word (obedience.) Sometimes, things take longer because we take longer to process. You don't want to let go of evil association, because these girls have been your girls for so long, yet, you want a husband. You don't want to stop gossiping, yet you want a husband. You don't want to tithe, yet, you want a husband. You hate to clean up the house, but you want a husband. You can cook 4 dishes and a mean bologna sandwich, but, you want a husband to starve. You got a shopping problem, spending all that you have on a purse, with no wisdom to save towards the future and the future of your children, yet, you want a financially secure husband, hoping that his money will rescue you when, in truth, his money needs rescuing from you. You still listening to the ministry of the devil, blasting that demonic music in your car and home, allowing this foolishness to download into your heart, but you want a husband. Can you understand that these things are flesh driven and until that flesh is put down and overcome, you cannot be a good wife to your husband? Because the minute he does something extreme enough, in your understanding, you will default back to what you currently are. Funny thing is, we can say, “Hallelujah, praise the LORD,” all day, but if foolishness is still found in us, let a trial come upon us and that foolishness will come to the front to meet that trial. GOD wants your default button to be praise! If your husband is captain of the ship, then you are co-captain. Why would the LORD send you this man when you don't know how to steer a ship, should something come upon your husband and he need your help? Standing there looking cute won't save the two of you. Your new high heels won't beat life into submission.
How Do I Know When a Man Is Him? When you stop looking, this question won't be a part of your vocabulary, instead, your focus will be on the LORD and how you can please HIM. You see, a woman isn't supposed to look for a husband as evident in Proverbs 18:22. “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” I get a lot of women who say, “Well, I'm not looking! They just keep coming up on me!” That's because you may not be looking with your eyes, but your heart is still searching for him. That's why you keep asking if any man that smiles at you is your husband. That's looking. And in this state, you are vulnerable to whatever kind of man the devil sends your way because the devil knows just what you like. He'll send a familiar spirit at you so that you can come back to him, the devil. Satan tries to reconcile with us through relationships. You'd better believe this! Here's something to note: If you meet a man that is familiar to you, the 'type' you like, sister, kick dust and run. GOD is a peculiar GOD and the man HE has for you, more than likely won't bear a familiar scent. A friend of mine, when she was in the world, used to like thugs. When she came back into the church, she wanted a church going thug. She didn't say this with her mouth, but I used to find it hilarious that when she would go on a date, if the guy was too 'soft' she'd never date him again. But, if he was still wrestling with his flesh, he was her type. Why? Because that's where she was. Now, a thug doesn't appeal to her. What happened? I mean, she was in the church. What if she had met and married this thugged out Christian boy, where would she be today, now that she is so much further in the LORD? She'd probably be somewhere setting her tithes off to one side and a little money to send her Inmate Number 32058728. The point here is, GOD has a plan for your life. Think of your life as a map, with FATHER being the destination point. HE has sent HIS Son to show you the way because HE is the WAY. Along that journey, so many people, things and situations will try to run you off road or keep you late to arrive in each season that you are due to arrive in. Your husband is in his vehicle of life, on this same map. The idea is to meet up with him, along the WAY and the two of you jump into one vehicle and he is supposed to head off the drive. But, somehow, somewhere, when you were in the swamplands of life, you found a swamp man. Makes a good fix-me-upper, huh? Isn't that how we think? Now, you pick him up, marry him and you're wondering why you're headed in the wrong direction every time he's behind the wheel. So sad....you have to get out of order, and keep trying to take the wheel (the head) and now, y'all are veering all over the road of life. Then you're crying out to the LORD, “Just let me start over. Let me get rid of him and I'll do right this time!” Too late. You have to obey the WORD in relation to marriage. Now, you have to try to win that soul because, according to 1 Corinthians 7, you can't just up and leave. How Long Do I Have to Wait? I think the best answer is, it all depends on you. You are a tree and your fruit is coming into season, but when the storms come, are you running for shelter, trying to speak to the storm to get it to stop raining? The storms are meant to grow you up! You can't keep running from the very thing that is sustaining you. I know many will say, Well, JESUS spoke to the storm and told it “Peace be still.” HE did this for the sake of HIS disciples. THE STORM DID NOT BOTHER JESUS. AS IT IS WRITTEN, HE WAS SLEEPING THROUGH IT! The message here is, if the storm bothers you, you can speak to it, but if you get like JESUS, you can sleep right on through it, knowing that it has no power to harm you unless GOD gives it this power. What am I saying? Process, sister, allow yourself to be processed. Process to progress. Your state of mind is the spiritual state in which you reside or you're passing through. Pay attention to where you keep wounding up. If you keep seeing the same situations and the same people, you are going in a
circle. You are going forward, then you turn and turn until you've turned around. You keep turning around when you enter unfamiliar territory because it's not familiar to you. Stop backsliding and move forward. When we change states, we don't change GODs, so you'll be okay. In conclusion, your mind has to change before your life will change. You can't keep standing where you are today and expecting tomorrow to come and meet you there. You have to move. And one last thing. Stop being so obsessed with being found by your husband. Instead of asking the LORD, “Is this him?� Try asking HIM for more of HIM and less of you. The more GOD is in you, the more you'll desire HIM. Eventually, the LORD will clear you for take off. But, right now, there may be something still in you, someone still in your heart, or some situation still weighing you down. A man won't come in and change your frown to a smile. Getting a husband is not getting rid of your old problems, it's getting a whole new set of problems that, if you're ready, won't pose as problems, because the two of you will be mature enough to handle those situations in GOD, rather than defaulting back to the flesh. You want to be married? Marry the LORD. Seek HIM first, not last. That way, you will continue to put HIM first in your marriage and not default into loving your husband more than you love HIM. There is an order that is good, but there is an order that is disorder, and unfortunately, many marriages today have added the 'dis' to their order. You can decide today that this won't be you.