the T zine
# pressforprogress, mar '18.
I N THI S I SSUE spi l l t h e T 03
Tracey Andrews
l i st en t o t h i s 05
Frida Kahlo
r ead t h i s 07 w at ch t h i s 10 dope sh i t 12 ou t +abou t 15 i cov et t h ee 22 t ast em ak er 24 i n f l u en cer 28 w h er e m y gi r l s at 32 t h i n k abou t i t 37
spi l l th e T.. . let t er f r om t h e edit or March is Women?s History Month and I feel like the last few years could be dubbed ?Women?s History Years.? I?ve never felt more in-tune with myself and prouder to be a woman. We have found our voices, yes, through tough times, but they are stronger and louder than ever before. Resilience is part of our DNA and that is beyond question. The theme for International Women?s Day (3.8.18) is #PressforProgress. It?s yet another movement geared towards women's equality that we can add to the likes of #MeToo and #TimesUp. This isn?t the time to be complacent, in the last few years global activism for women?s equality has gained incredible momentum. Gender parity won?t happen any time soon, but we?re making positive gains with this advocacy, activism and support across the globe. #PressforProgress calls for us to stay united to press forward and progress gender parity. Remember, International
Women?s
Day
belongs to
all
groups
collectively
everywhere. Last month I focused on WOC and this month it?s an honor to shine light on fellow Latinas. Don't come for me, "listen to this" doesn't feature Latinas, but it does feature two awesome women. I am a proud Caribbean mami, through and through. Our culture is rich with beautiful color, people, food, art, and music. I mean, I don?t care how annoying Suavemente (Elvis Crespo) is, that is the quintessential song for any and all social engagements. I know you still get up out of your seat to sway those hips while you sing along to the lyrics, don?t deny it. That?s just one of the many, many reasons I love being Latina, now flip through to see all the other mami?s who?ve paved the way for us and those making their presence heard and seen.
@m st if f alexan dr a f ou n der / edit or -in -ch ief
03
dar lin g,
l i sten to th i s.. . Th e Fr in ge Of It by Liv Pu r vis an d Ch ar lot t e Jack lin Liv Purvis has been on my radar since before writing a piece on her a few months back. It was awesome finding out she teamed up with Charlotte Jacklin Betty to start their own podcast, ?The Fringe of It.?They were once internet friends and Charlotte Jacklin was one of the women she featured on her ?Inside The Wardrobe Of ?series on YouTube. I?m a sucker for podcasts and a British accent, so naturally I?ve been hooked to the effortless and authentic banter between the two women. Charlotte Jacklin Betty and Charlotte Melling are the Editor and Creative Director behind Betty Magazine. Betty began as a twenty-page zine while Charlotte Jacklin was in university and it has blossomed into a beautifully curated independent magazine. Focused on celebrating individuality, it explores fashion, food, travel and amazing women. I subscribe and look forward to their weekly Monday Motivator letter from Charlotte J. I admire her vulnerability and truly feel inspired to take the T zine as far as Betty has gone. ?The Fringe Of It?is a fresh, four episodes old. Liv and Charlotte J knew exactly what they were doing when they joined forces. The podcast is an effortless extension of both of their already established platforms. I?m already subscribed and get my notification weekly when the episode drops. So far, they?ve discussed friendship, confidence and comparison, defining success and ambition, and people pleasing. It?s a real treat to listen to. If I were you, I?d give it a go!
05
read th i s.. . Ju lia Alvar ez Julia Alvarez is an extraordinary storyteller. President Obama is on board with that statement because he presented her with the National Medal of Arts in 2013. Alvarez?s books revisit her parent?s native Dominican Republic and tell stories of an exile?s urgency. She was born in New York City, but her parents decided to return to the homeland when she was three months old in the early 50s. Her family then fled from the island, where her father was involved in the underground resistance in 1960 escaping Rafael Trujillo?s dictatorship. She?s been known to tell her students ?write about stuff that isn?t quite comfortable inside you, the things that are hard to get at and say.? That statement speaks volumes to me and I respect Alvarez's advise. Alvarez?s highly successful debut novel How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents, follows the difficult process of assimilation into a new culture. The story follows four girls raised in the Dominican Republic who move to America. It is loosely based on her life experience as she too had to make the transition into American society and its cultural differences. She writes on her website that learning and paying attention to every word in English as a young 10-year old made her the great writer that she is today. This is clear in her rich wording and careful crafting of each of her characters. Her second novel, In the Time of the Butterflies, Alvarez writes of a fictional account of three historical revolutionary figures, the Mirabal sisters, who grew up under Trujillo?s dictatorship and lost their lives trying to overthrow it. She?s said that through these novels she was trying to understand her parents?generation who fell victim to the dictatorship ?la generaciรณn perdida (the lost generation), as they are known in the Dominican Republic. The tale is written to perfection. Alvarez published her first novel when she was forty-one. I have to remind myself of that every time I want to speed up the dial in my career and life in general. She always loved storytelling as a little girl and after a graduate program in creative writing she was intent in becoming a writer. That was during the late sixties and early seventies and the market was just embracing Afro-American writers, but Latino literature were unheard of. That motivated her and Alvarez?s love of reading and writing never wavered. Teaching is where she earned a living and landing a tenure at Middlebury College is how she was able to publish her first novel. I will always love Alvarez?s stories but knowing her upbringing and remarkable drive only makes me admire her that much more.
07
w atch th i s.. . Film s, ser ies, an d docu m en t ar ies, oh m y.. . I asked my lovely friends over on Twitter (@mstiffalexandra) to send me over their favorite films, documentaries, series, etc., starring or about Latinas. My peeps, do not disappoint. Here are a few of their faves and my own.
-
Mi Vida Lo ca (1993) Kids (1995) Sel en a (1997) In t he Time o f t he But t er f l ies (2001) Real Wo men Have Cur ves (2002) Fr ida (2002) Bo r der t o wn (2006) Vo l ver (2006) Vicky Cr ist in a Bar cel o n a (2008) Mo der n Famil y (2009-Pr esen t )
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dope sh i t.. . Gu r ls Talk Fest ival NYC Gurls Talk Festival in NYC, in collaboration with Teen Vogue and Coach, was one of the major events hosted this month that celebrated and empowered women. The event included @hello_voter to help teens and first-time voters be smarter and more engaged in the process. Crystal Valentine, three-time grand slam champion of NYU?s poetry slam team, hosted an open-mic session for participants. There was a focus on health empowerment, too. Emilia Ortiz, New York native and spiritual advisor facilitated a workshop on mental health, empowerment and life management. My girl, model and body-positive advocate, Paloma Elsesser talked to girls about working on their self-esteem and promote body-positivity. A seriously intense conversation was had by child actor, iO Tillett Wright about gender identity and acceptance. I?m gutted that I missed it, but let?s all live vicariously through these pics and the wonderful work that Adwoa Aboah and her guests are doing.
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out+about.. . Lock sm it h Bar I wrote about Locksmith Bar last year, so you already know I have a soft spot for that place. Since then, they?ve been giving us behind the scenes looks of their much needed and anticipated expansion. Hasan, my friend and resident DJ there, sent me a text way past my bedtime inviting me to come by the following night. It was a bit out of the ordinary for him to do so and I?ve been keeping a low pro? for personal reasons but decided to take him up on the offer. It?s not a proper Locksmith night, if there isn?t a pregaming sesh? at Jerry?s Chelsea apartment. With food in our bellies and a Jameson bottle down, Jerry, Sofie and I made the trip up to Narnia. Tipsy me invited our Dominican, Uber driver to come party with us, because who else was able to dance bachata with me? As T Pain would say, ?blame it on the ah ah ah ah ah alcohol? ? Hasan kept under wraps that on that particular Friday, March 16th Locksmith was having their soft open after renovations. The place was buzzing with patrons, nothing new there. I ran in to and caught up with some awesome people that I hadn?t seen in years. Mero, from the Vice show, Desus and Mero was there with his wife to support. I?m still kicking myself for not approaching him. I?ll get over it, eventually. Seeing the amount of people who came out to support this monumental moment for Locksmith made me so proud. The owners of this place are Latinos so I?m forever rooting for their success. This place has grown with the changing crowds and has made it through countless places being shuttered. There?s no doubt that Locksmith has maintained its authenticity. For them, if it ain?t broke, just expand. Congrats to the Locksmith family, to many, many more successful years!
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.. .
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@amin.diangelo @davefotogram
.. .
@amin.diangelo @davefotogram
.. . Roxan n e Roxan n e @ Sam su n g 837 One of
the most
publication
is that
amazing things about I get
to
document
this dope
experiences. I?ve always been able to look back on IG and see the photographic aspect of my rendezvous, but it feels more like me to have it written in my own words. I centered most, if not all of my March outings with Women?s History Month in mind. It?s not much different than the things I would normally choose, this time around you get my input. Erika, the @erikastar sent a movie screening invite for the film ?Roxanne Roxanne? to our crew. The invite ticked off all my yes boxes: after work, hip hop, and women-focused. Like most invites, I RSVP?d without hesitation. ?Roxanne Roxanne? is based in the late 80?s and it?s about the first female emcee, Roxanne Shante (Lolita Shante Gooden). Roxanne Shante battle rapped other boys in exchange for street cred and some cash. By the time she was 14 she recorded ?Roxanne?s Revenge? and it became a huge hit. I knew nothing of Roxanne Shante because the only female emcees I grew up listening to are Lil?Kim and Foxy Brown. Little did I know Roxanne Shante paved the way with her feminist teenage street rhymes. The hyper-masculine world of hip hop heard her stance and volleyed back with diss tracks. Shante?s mother, Peggy, is played by Nia Long who starts off being a stern but supportive mother to then spiral out of control when her boyfriend runs off with money that was meant to be for a better life in a new home. This leaves Shante no choice but to boost clothing and up her battle rap charge. She has a toughness and naĂŻvetĂŠ to her that?s both endearing and meant for survival. The women make poor choices in men as Shante falls for Cross, Mahershala Ali, a much older, handsome street hustler who?s a wolf in sheep?s clothes. Their romance is an abusive rollercoaster from the start that ends with Shante buying her child back from Cross after leaving him from a brutal beating.
18
After the screening Angie Martinez moderated a panel with part of the cast and Shante. We got to hear testimony from Shante herself and how director Michael Larnell pieced together her story of abuse, survival and redemption. Shante was the eldest of her sisters with a father who never showed up when visits were planned. That was a catalyst for her relationship with men and how she persevered for her family. This story doesn?t have a conventional happy ending because Shante, although super talented, never scores a major record deal. She does come into her own after mustering up the courage to leave Cross. Freeing herself from the shackles of control and refocusing on her family and small child. Hip hop needed the rawness, vulnerability and hope that ?Roxanne Roxanne? tells. Here?s to strong women!
.. . @t h eGIRLM OB x @99EATS Pr esen t : SALON TALKS VII: Iden t it y What do you identify as and what?s the most important part of your identity? Is it your sex, race or ethnicity, sexual orientation, nationality, religious affirmation, age or political beliefs? Gender roles are becoming more and more irrelevant in civilized society. Most don?t understand that gender is a generalization of how men and women should look and behave in society, while your sex is an anatomical term used to describe the physical characteristics of a person. Part of understanding who you are is understanding our identities are comprised of ideas, ideologies and the world around us. Enter @theGIRLMOB x @99EATS SALON TALKS VII: Identity event. An invite I saw on and RSVP?d through my IG feed. theGIRLMOB, led by Yari Blanco, is a digital community that celebrates Women of Color. They partner with 99EATS, led by Derrell Smith, to bring us, SALONTALKS, a ?monthly pop-up restaurant designed for strangers to engage in uncomfortable topics while sharing comfort food.? That description is spot on. My dear friend, @iamsofiefatale asked zero questions and took the trip with me to Greenpoint, Brooklyn. She?s just dope like that. We got to the venue, Magick City and were welcomed by Yari and a 30-seat intimate, candle-lit dinner. A lit, disco ball spun on top of us while the ?The Get Down? was projected on the wall. Dope tunes rounded out the very dope mood. By this point, Sofie and I were super intrigued by the unknown. We made friends with another girl, Antonia who was enlisted to record the talk and works at NPR Latino. Our convo with Antonia ranged from Latina YouTubers, Hillary?s need to humanize herself, and comedian?s strange characteristics. This was all before the remainder of the guests arrived. The talk began around 7PM with about 20 people in attendance. Tables were given two different prompts and asked to discuss while the food was rolling in. Sofie and I were strategically separated by Yari, something that I didn?t think I?d appreciate, but we did. My table?s prompt was circled around cultural appropriation, the use of the ?N? word, and AfroLatininad or Afro-Latin Americans and their ?blackness.? The other table focused on gender roles, their need
to
disclose of
the gender
pronoun
and
controversial bathroom laws.
20
the
For the first time in my life, I admitted to a group of strangers that I, a ?dark-skin,? Latina didn?t like to be associated as being ?black? when I was younger. They don?t say ?ignorance is bliss? for nothing. I didn?t identify as ?black,? I identified as Latina. I?ve never traced my roots, but it?s clear as day when you see the color of my skin that there is some black in my background. I sat next to a transgender man who was ?light-skin black.? He goes by, Sir, and had to deal with transitioning from female to male on top of being of a lighter complexion in a society that sees color before anything. Colorism, the prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone is a major part of Latin cultures and many cultures. The Asian in attendance spoke about ?jungle? and ?fancy? Asians. ?Fancy? Asians being Japanese and Chinese, while ?jungle? Asians are Vietnamese and Filipinos. My mind was blown. SALONTALKS went on until about 10PM. The conversation flowed between heated and understanding. More than anything it felt like a safe space where you were allowed to be whomever you identify as. I got to learn about others? struggles and openly share intimate things about myself, too. Our identity fundamentally shapes our life experience, how we are treated, whom we meet and allow into our circles, what kind of education we receive, where we live, what opportunities we?re afforded and what kind of biases we may face. My biggest takeaway from this talk was the need for us to humanize and empathize with those around us. I can only wish SALONTALKS are happening throughout the world because the only way to progress is by educating ourselves and celebrating whoever you are.
@magickcity
@theyariblanco
i cov et th ee.. . blazer s+bu m bags
Blazers and bumbags aka fanny packs are probably two fashion items that I'm just not into. Okay, maybe they are kinda' cute, I'm making an exception with these. Do you covet these?
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tastemak er.. . @jlo Jennifer Lynn Lopez aka J.Lo is a Puerto Rican,
Marc Anthony and had twins in 2008. That
Bronx-bred, powerhouse and my ultimate girl
marriage ended three years later and as of
crush. I don?t care what you have to say about
February 2017 is dating former New York
her, save it. In 1991, she was a Fly Girl dancer on
Yankees baseball player Alex Rodriguez.
In Living Color, but I came to know and
Lopez has anchored herself as a philanthropist
appreciate her for her first leading role as
and activist. After the September 11 attacks,
Selena. I can recall going to my local movie
Lopez immersed herself in charitable causes.
theater and people sitting on the floor to watch
She was featured on charitable singles such as
Lopez embody Selena?s spirit. Lopez received a
?What?s Going On? and ?El Ultimo Adios (The Last
Golden Globe nomination for that role and
Goodbye),? which helped people affected by the
became the first Latin actress to earn over $1
tragedy. The co-headlining tour which grossed
million for a film.
$10 million, with Marc Anthony gave one dollar
Shortly after, venturing into music, her debut
from each ticket to the Run for Something Better
album On the 6, spawned the Billboard Hot 100
charitable
top-ten singles ?If You Had My Love? and
fitness programs for children. The human rights
?Waiting for Tonight." Time listed her as one of
organization, Amnesty International honored
the 25 most influential Hispanic Americans. I
Lopez with the Artists for Amnesty prize for her
wholeheartedly agree because I bought my very
work in the film Bordertown, which covered the
own
her
hundreds of female homicides in Ciudad Juarez.
perfumes and you could basically call me T.Lo
The Lopez Family Foundation, launched with her
from the block. Give me a couple more years, I?ll
sister Lynda, is a nonprofit organization seeking
slip myself into the plunging, exotic green
to increase the availability of healthcare for
Versace silk chiffon dress she famously wore to
underprivileged women and children. It offers a
the 42nd Annual Grammy Awards. Stay tuned.
telemedicine
J.Lo from the 2000s was my favorite. You know,
partnership with the Children?s Hospital Los
the infamous Diddy years. So, she got arrested
Angeles.
J.Lo-esque
denim
jumpsuit
and
organization
program
supporting
supported
physical
by
while out with him, but was later exonerated, (shrug) shit happens? She?s been married and divorced
a
handful
of
times.
Remember,
Bennifer, Jersey Girl and Gigli? How about we continued, pg26
don?t. In 2004, she married long-time friend 24
a
The foundation has expanded to medical
award from the Human Rights Campaign
facilities in Panama and Puerto Rico and
and the GLAAD Vanguard Award.
created a Center for a Healthy Childhood at
She?s managed to embody a provocative sex
the Montefiore Medical Center in the Bronx.
symbol but has made it clear that she has
In December 2012, Lopez held a charity
boundaries. Lopez has remained a class-act
drive that would benefit her three favorite
throughout
charities: the Gloria Wise Boys and Girls
compared to Elizabeth Taylor for her many
Club, the Children?s Hospital of Los Angeles,
failed
and the American Red Cross. This drive
conserve the romanticism and importance
benefited the victims of Hurricane Sandy,
of each relationship. Lopez is one of, if not
which shattered parts of her home town,
the most influential Hispanic performer in
New York City. Lopez was the first Global
the U.S. We can credit her for breaking racial
Advocate for Girls and Women at the United
barriers in the entertainment industry and
Nations foundation. This role sees her
still remains the only female entertainer to
rallying and addressing challenges faced by
have a number
girls
world,
simultaneously in the United States. I?ve said
including maternal health care programs,
it before and I?ll say it again, Jennifer Lopez
education and violence against women. In
is a powerhouse.
and
women
around
the
September 2017, Lopez donated $1 million to humanitarian relief following Hurricane Irma
and
Hurricane
Maria,
from
the
proceeds of her Las Vegas residency. She launched the humanitarian relief campaign titled Somos Una Voz (We Are One Voice) with ex-husband Marc Anthony. It was an effort by various celebrities to expedite supplies to areas affected by Hurricane Maria. Their
concert
and
telethon
for
disaster relief, ?One Voice: Somos Live!?, raised over $35 million. More recently, Lopez was presented with humanitarian awards from amfAR, the Ally for Equality
26
her
career.
relationships
she
Often
being
manages
one album
and
to
film
i nf l uencer.. . van essa.con t r er ast v f r om son essasar y.com / Brainstorming ideas on who to feature in this issue felt absolutely effortless. Allow me to shimmy as I humble brag a bit because I truly am surrounded by amazing Latinas. One of which is an on-air talent, blogger, YouTuber, model, dancer, fashion maven and beauty queen, yes, beauty queen, Vanessa Contreras. Don?t be fooled, she is both beauty and brains. I know her through my little brother and have watched her grow into a confident and self-aware woman. Vanessa is a fellow Dominican beauty and Jersey girl, like yours truly. Don?t be afraid to toot your own horns, peeps! She is as vibrant as they come with that kind of laugh that will, if you?re not in on the joke, make you wonder from afar, ?WTF is so funny??The theme and overall vibe of her socials are super positive and that of a poised woman. I?ll tell you first hand, that is who she is as a person. There?s been a noticeably stronger, unapologetic vibe in her demeanor and I applaud it 1000%. That comes with working through personal struggles while allowing yourself to shine, flaws and all. Her life motto is ?Keep it real, keep it you,?it doesn?t get more unapologetic than that. Family is the pillar that holds Vanessa together much like mine is to me. Knowing that speaks volumes as it tells of a person?s character. Growing up a ?girly-girl,? she says a love of beauty and fashion has always been a part of who she is. While working in retail people would ask her about her ensembles which led her to start her blog SoNessasary.com. In her blog, she shares ideas about looking your best on a budget. She does that pretty damn well. When it comes to style choices, Vanessa credits her mother as her biggest inspiration. We have that in common too, even sharing clothing with our moms, respectively. She uses #SoNESSary or #ItsNESSary, a play on her nickname, on her blog and through her social platforms to define things that are positive or influential in her life. After about four years in the blogger scene she?s become influential and is on the heels of about 10k in followship. No doubt that her positive mindset, hustler mentality, family and her immediate circle have provided a solid platform to grow from. You wouldn?t expect anything less from a bright spirit like hers. Proud of you, Ness.
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w h ere my gi rl s at.. . @it st ash ian icole of @pu r abodyscr u bs I pride myself in celebrating those around me. To think that I?ve known the trailblazer, entrepreneur-extraordinaire, Tashia Zeno from PURA, since I was 14-years old blows my mind. More on PURA down below in our chat. I know Tash from when we went to Woodrow Wilson, a grammar school for gifted and talented children in New Jersey. Yes, we sang along loudly to the Rent soundtrack in our hallways, put on plays and took awesome trips into NYC. Our very own, Glee of sorts, but way better. Recently, that grammar school shut its doors to relocate and a bunch of us reconnected at their get-together of the previous classes. I shared some of the greatest memories while at Woodrow Wilson and since have maintained the same circle of friends. We may not have the same close friendship, but I?m here for Tash and her success with PURA. She chatted with me about her PURA journey and what it?s like raising a little girl. Tash is by far one of the most talented and genuine women I have the honor of knowing and calling a friend. the T readers and the masses, I have a strong feeling we?ll be hearing about her and PURA for years to come. Here?s our chat? TTZ: Tell m e all abou t PURA body scr u bs. Wh at 's you r vision , it 's in cept ion an d w h er e you see it goin g? Tash ia Zen o: To our returning customers, we are PURA- a luxurious, handmade, all-natural skincare line. The best possible beauty and skin care that you can get. To those that have not used our body scrubs, we are a small independent company that makes body and face scrubs ?Crafted Con Corazon? in The Heights and heart of Jersey City, NJ. We offer unique proprietary blended skincare that is free of harsh chemicals and artificial preservatives. We are known to go the extra mile to customize products to fit our client?s specific skin needs of those suffering with skin allergies.
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PURA began in July 2016 with just one jar of body scrub. I sold this special jar that had housed some of my favorite scents- to a fellow Massage Therapist for her to use as an add on service. Her client loved the scrub so much, I had my first order by the time their massage ended. I began to sell them to friends and family as a way to test the skin care market. I was shocked and relieved when people fell in "Scrub love" with Pura and our original products. Our clients provide the inspiration, nature provides our products. We openly share and spread a vision of ?Pure and Simple Beauty.? On a global scale we support the empowerment of women in business and in all aspects of natural life. We support and empower minority owned businesses, focusing our charitable efforts in Latina owned and operated businesses. We are close to launching our website Casa De PURA which expands our skin care line to include over a dozen products not limited to Body care, Face care and Hair care treatments. TTZ: That's amazing! I'm blown away! TZ: Thank you! TTZ: I can im agin e st ar t in g a bu sin ess isn't a w alk in t t h e par k . Wh at w er e you r biggest obst acles w h en cr eat in g PURA? TZ: The biggest obstacles I faced as a start-up was feeling like a small fish in a big pond. When I began this journey, I did not have a mentor or anyone I could ask for help from when it came to entrepreneurship. It was very much trial and error- and winging it! TTZ: Wh at advice do you give people w h o ar e look in g t o st ar t t h eir ow n bu sin ess? TZ: I would say do your research in your field, learn as much as you can, surround yourself with like-minded individuals and most importantly create your own mantra, which leads your business and your life... Mine is ?Focus on your Vision, Focus on your Mission!?
continued, pg35 33
TTZ: Wh at w ou ld you say is you r biggest in spir at ion an d m ot ivat ion beh in d PURA? TZ: My biggest inspiration would have to be all the amazing people I have encountered throughout my journey. I have met trailblazing, badass women and men who inspire me to make products that are full of love and healing; and to make people feel and look good by unleashing their natural inner glow. My biggest motivation is my daughter. She is the reason why I keep grinding even on days when I want to throw in the towel. I am constantly reminding her of her greatness and to never give up, so I daily remind myself to practice what I preach. TTZ: Wh at is it lik e r aisin g a lit t le gir l in t h ese cr azy t im es? TZ: It has been a beautiful struggle, one of the hardest yet most rewarding accomplishments of my life. I just remind myself that I have been given this important task to protect and prepare my daughter to be a good, loving human and instill in her values of compassion, tolerance and hard work ethic. TTZ: How is you r u su al day lik e? Do you st r u ct u r e in a cer t ain w ay t o get w or k don e an d st ay m ot ivat ed? TZ: As a creative entrepreneur I have an innate ability to multi-task, I am naturally energetic and want to accomplish at least a million things every day (as most mothers do,) alas I have learned to scale down my large goals into small steps to tackle that day. I kick it old school with a weekly planner that I breakdown on Sundays. This helps me stay on task and shows me what I have accomplished and what to tackle next. I am a believer in God so I pray, listen to motivational speakers & music and read books to keep me motivated and inspired. TTZ: It sou n ds lik e w e sh ar e a love of self -car e. I w ou ld love t o k n ow w h at book s, sem in ar s, or even podcast s you r ecom m en d. TZ: I am a firm believer in taking care of the mind, body and soul. Anything written by Maya Angelou is worth reading, I listen to Eric Thomas?podcast The Secret to Success with CJ and Eric Thomas. I recently saw Gary Vee in Canada and it was a definite game changer.
continued, pg36 35
TTZ: How do you over com e per son al obst acles? TZ: With BALANCE. It is important to work hard, but I always remind myself to take time to rest, decompress, love hard, laugh and not take life too seriously. TTZ: I?ve alw ays seen you as a su per con f iden t per son . How do m an age t o st ay so t r u e t o you r self ? TZ: Thank you for that. It has not always been that way. I?ve been insecure in my life, I?ve held back my shine, I sat in fear I was being offensive! I had to dig deep and say you know what I AM DOPE! It was then I began to truly love, honor and respect myself and encourage others to do the same. TTZ: I love you r vu ln er abilit y, t h an k you f or t h at . I?m a f ir m believer in in du lgin g in ?m e? t im e. How do you spen d t im e apar t f r om you r m om an d f am ily lif e? TZ: I immerse myself in the arts. I write and sing music, I visit museums and art galleries with my kid. I love just being surrounded by nature and beauty. TTZ: I love w h at you ?r e doin g w it h PURA, bu t aside f r om t h e gr eat r an ge you h ave, w h at ar e you r h oly gr ail beau t y an d sk in -car e pr odu ct s? TZ: I have been using Oil of Olay Sensitive Skin Moisturizer with SPF since my teens, Ponds Moisture Clean Makeup Remover Wipes to remove my makeup and I love Garnier ?s Clean and Pore Purifying 2 in 1 Clay Cleanser & Mask. Tons of WATER with lemon.
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th i nk about i t.. . don't ask , don't t ell.. . I?ve always been the type of lover that would
is going on with a degree of secrecy to protect the
rather give you privacy so that I don?t trip over
wives and families involved. Call it jealousy,
unwanted information. Blame it on my indifferent
women?s intuition, but all things done in the dark
attitude, the influence of the relationships around
will come to light. Hello, 50% divorce rate.
me or maybe it?s that I?ve adopted that ?don?t ask,
We?ve been conditioned to be submissive to our
don?t tell? motto from
the military. Dating,
male counterparts and the need to quench their
although fun, can get messy af. I have mastered,
sexual appetites. In contrast and conveniently,
carefully researching suspicions, then picking my
female sexuality is controlled by males. Hello
battles (depending on how petty I feel), to prepare
double standard! Since the beginning of time
myself for a full-on confrontation when things feel
we?ve been hammered (no pun intended) with the
?off.? I must admit that ?turn the cheek?mentality
notion that as women we have only one sexual
only works when dating uber casually, things are
partner. That archaic way of thinking is no thanks
completely different once time and feelings are
to male pride proven by their sexual dominance.
invested.
Machismo rules many aspects of the Latin
Growing up a Latina the relationships of family,
American male behavior but it?s not limited to
whether indirectly or directly related to me were
them. It?s almost a birthright for men to satisfy
always riddled with passion and more often than
their desires any way they choose. Most times at
not a third party. I?m not sure if you?ve been privy
the expense of their girlfriends, wives and families
to the ?All Men Cheat? club, but it?s a thing, at least
to prove their masculinity. Yet, there are countries
on Twitter it is. Google infidelity and Latin
where woman can be killed for being unfaithful?!
American men are the first to be called out. I?m
Fast forwarding to modern life, it presents us with
not at all saying all men are created cheaters.
a slew
Don?t shoot the messenger here. In a perfect
old-fashioned affairs. Technology has evolved
world, women become wives, bear children,
tremendously which means we are connected,
perhaps work, take care of the home and their
sometimes strongly and continuously, with many
husband. Men become husbands, go to work,
more people than before. Social platforms test
then have a divided life of what happens at home
the borders of our fidelity in so many ways
and outside. Wives always hold the ?official?
couples share passwords or remove them to
position as the most central role in the man?s life,
maintain
providing domestic duties and respectability,
flirtations, work-wives (and husbands), and one
whereas the ?outside? woman provides sexual
too many homegirls and networking events to
variety and whatever the hell else they do. All this
entertain. 37
of
ways to
transparency.
cheat: texts, DMs, or
There
are
extended
continued, pg38
Ask yourself, is that ongoing iChat exchange with your work-wife Susan, girlfriend approved? Does that DM from a college mate you were once attracted to really need a reaction? Well? I thought writing this would somehow lead me to get a better grasp on monogamy or lack thereof. As of late, it?s been the topic of conversation amidst friends both male and female. From friends that are married, couples living and being together for years, to those casually dating. I?m raising a boy and won?t use ?boys will be boys?as an excuse for any future mistreatment of others, primarily girls and women. Today, there are more opportunities to cheat, but then again, we remain attached to the ideal of monogamy. We?re all in agreement that honesty, boundaries, respect and communication are at the forefront of healthy couples. I type that and it comes so easy, but there are so many shady areas of human relations. I can only hope that we can all agree that
infidelities, no
matter
how
new
in
a
relationship or years into it, hurt like hell. Gender plays no role in the emotional turmoil that cheating thrusts at a relationship.
38
SOY EL TIPO DE MUJER QUE SI QUIERO LA LUNA, ME LA BA JO YO SOLITA. -FRIDA KAHLO
I' M
THE KIND OF WOMAN THAT IF I WANT
THE MOON ,
I' LL TAKE IT DOWN ON MY
OWN .
-FRIDA KAHLO
LET'S CHA T
SA Y HELLO
@th eTzi ne
@getth eTzi ne
END.