November 2010 Edition of Timeless by Timeless Courage Publishing Limited

TIMELESS Published Since April 2003

Vol. 8 No. 11

300 NAIRA

NOVEMBER 2010

The Wisdom that Age Brings The greatest gift one generation can give another is the wisdom it has gained from experience.

Arts & Culture Chibundu Onuzo

Faber snaps up a debut by 19-year-old Nigerian

Society Marriage

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From the Editor-in-Chief

he Webster’s ninth new collegiate dictionary on page 360 describes discipline as “to impose order upon”, or “orderly prescribed conduct or pattern of behaviour, self-control, a rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity”. One of the problems of Nigeria today is indiscipline which is a lack of discipline, a lack of orderly prescribed conduct or pattern of behaviour, a lack of self-control, a contravention of rules or system of rules governing conduct or activity and that is why the nation has become such a big challenge. Nigerians generally lack discipline, orderly behaviour and prescribed conduct. They lack a way of life that should normally enable a smooth running of affairs. Nigerians daily are subjected to harrowing traffic experiences. We find ourselves locked roads and expressways spending hours on what normally should be a few minutes drive. Most of the causes of these traffic jams are people who don’t obey traffic rules or some people who had thought that the best way to drive is to drive on the opposite side of the expressway facing the oncoming traffic. Most of the time, you find a lot of traffic jams in Lagos and other parts of Nigeria and when you get to the source of the traffic, you find that something very minor had been the cause of the traffic jam. Sometimes you find a car parked improperly or a set of people had double-parked or two people had a minor accident and they decide to block the road over something very minor or a car had broken down because of poor maintenance and the owner refuses to move it. It is usually very excruciating and sometimes takes the combined forces of police, LASTMA and FRSC to get people to end what is usually a grievous entanglement. In any advanced country, we would have been able to estimate the amount of loss and waste resulting from these logjams. For one, I know that a lot of businesses and social appointments are missed and therefore maybe some dues and contracts are also missed. I know that people develop various illnesses. Sometimes, armed robbers and hoodlums begin to attack innocent people who find themselves helpless and can neither run nor defend themselves. Somehow, we are being controlled by elements that should be under our control. This has consequently led to a lot of stress, frustration and irritability amongst a lot of people. Let us leave the traffic and move to our university system. You find that the cause of a lot of

problems that we have there; the strikes, the students’ unrest, can be attributed to indiscipline. Matters that should be resolved amicably and in a matured manner across a negotiation table are resolved through riots, breakdown of law and order and actions that lead to damage of property and peoples’ lives. A lack of respect for orderly behaviour that leads to total chaos and anarchy. A couple of years back, a young lady left her home saying she was going somewhere very quickly and would be back soon. As she was being driven by her friend, they had an accident as they approached a traffic light. The young lady barely twenty-three years old, law graduate, just back from the U.K. about to start a new life in Nigeria, full of hope and a great future and from a very respectable Nigerian family lost her life. Hopes for the future and investments by her parents and years of preparations all dashed just because of one truck driver’s indiscipline. The fellow refused to stop at a junction to see whether there was an oncoming car and he ran into the car of these young ladies causing this grievous harm to this family. The pain and the trauma that this family went through can only be best imagined and even till tomorrow the pain and the ache is still there. Some years ago also, a small fire started somewhere in an industrial estate somewhere in Lagos. By the time the fire was put out, about seven factories had been burnt down and the livelihood of over 250 families had been disturbed and upset. At the end of the fire, the people who were affected by the fire naturally assumed that it was an act of arson and sabotage. But the truth of the matter was simply that the fire was as a result of indiscipline and lack of planning and a lack of understanding of basic safety issues in a working environment. What had happened was that when a storm started on the night of the fire, it blew down the electrical wires that had been improperly set up around the factory. The wires began to spark and these set fire to the environment. A small fire got bigger because, nobody was there in the first place, secondly there were no safety issues, and thirdly there were no fire fighting equipment. Again, a colossal loss because of undisciplined behaviour. If you go to our hospitals today, you find that a lot of people are dying because hospital staffs are undisciplined; when they should be at their posts, they are at several other places, when they should be calm and collected, they are all phased out and hassled. I know of a lady who lost her son to leukaemia. When she went abroad for treatment for herself and saw the level of organisation, the level of efficiency and the level of discipline based on the treatment she got for herself, she came back with a mournful look and said these people (hospital personnel in Nigeria) killed my son out of lack of knowledge, out of indiscipline, and due to improper conduct and behaviour. Indiscipline has sort of become a way of life in Nigeria

and it is leading to a lot of loss, waste, trauma and hardship for the average Nigerian going about his business and trying to make a living. Most corporations and organisations are run by undisciplined leaders who have a lot of undisciplined staff working for them. You get to a reception and the receptionist is making up her face, reading a novel, picking her hair or chatting away with her friends either on the phone or with other co-workers. You stand there shifting on your leg and coughing trying to get attention, which you don’t get until you finally say you want to see so and so and then she waves her hand to a seat lackadaisically and starts asking you all sorts of questions. Her manner, her conduct, her tone all reek of a lack of training and a lack of discipline. If Nigeria is going to progress as a nation, we need discipline and it is not impossible. When we had the Buhari/Idiagbon regime, it was interesting to see Nigerians queue up at the bus-stops. It was interesting to see a clean and orderly airport environment. It was interesting to see Nigerians not urinating against the walls or throwing up pieces of paper all over the place. Same thing since the Fashola government in Lagos put in place fines, levies and structures to penalise and arrest people. So, it can actually be done. Now in Lagos, people were not selling on the roads again. That is what just a bit of discipline can do. That is just what is needed in Nigeria. People should learn to line up and queue. People should learn to wait in their own traffic lane when there is a traffic build up. People should learn to respond to traffic instructions. A lot of the economies of the world are run based on disciplined people and that is why there is such a difference between their economies and our economy. I think it is possible for things to improve. It is possible for things to get better right from the top to the bottom. Part of the indiscipline that we have in Nigeria is because of the indiscipline of some of our leaders. The way they move around in their convoys, the way their escorts and their guards behave. Escort and bullion car drivers drive recklessly on the roads putting other people in danger. I think that it is possible to have an organised society, to have a responsive government and to have a responsible people and to begin to do things the way they should be done. I think that if there was a bit of discipline there will be a bit of good life and good health. It is time in Nigeria for us to change our attitudes, to change our values and bring about growth and development through an orderly and organised society.

Ituah Ighodalo NOVEMBER 2010

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Contents

Society

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16 19 Honey to the 17 moon after “I DO” 22 How to have a Healthy Fight

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Editorial

President Jonathan’s Power Reforms Roadmap and the Absence of a Sustainability Agenda

Over the past decade, we have watched with befuddlement how successive governments have failed to deliver on a most significant and catalytic aspect of the economy—the development of adequate power infrastructure, power generation, and distribution. Attempts by various governments to put the sector on a right footing have been less than satisfactory. In 1999, the Obasanjo administration promised through its Minister of Power, the late Chief Bola Ige, that it would make epileptic power supply in Nigeria a thing of the past. To deliver on its lofty promise, the administration embarked on a reforms voyage with the aim of making the sector attractive to private investors. And so, not only did the administration attempt to break NEPA’s monopoly, which remained an intractable problem in the sector, by setting up the Power Holding Company of Nigeria Plc; it also attempted to encourage private participation, by establishing the Nigeria Electricity Regulation Commission NERC, in 2005 under the Electricity Power Sector Reform Act. The commission was saddled with the responsibility to license privately owned companies to generate, transmit and distribute electricity in Nigeria. President Jonathan’s attempt to actualize the privatization of the sector within the last three months of his tenure, as articulated in his power sector reforms roadmap which he unveiled in Lagos recently may have been dismissed as an aggressive political campaign, but the need for adequate power generation and supply cannot be so dismissed. And given our not too pleasant experiences with governmentowned generation and distribution channels, privatizing the sector may not have come at a better time. However, just like the Obasanjo-era reform agenda, the current reform roadmap by President Goodluck Jonathan has failed, and sadly so, to recognize a key challenge of the 21st century, Global Warming. It is saddening to note that at a time when the rest of the world (developed and developing countries alike) is implementing policies aimed at phasing out electricity generation from unsustainable sources, and exploring the development of alternative energy sources, Nigeria which desires to be among the top 20 economies of the world in 2020 plans to burn fossil fuels for the foreseeable future. This is tantamount to short-sightedness, and a total lack of vision or concern for the sustainability of the earth. Al Gore in 2008 challenged the United States to 6

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commit to producing all electricity from renewable sources (AERS) like solar and wind power in 10 years. Consequently, many policies framework have been developed by visionary governments, and even autonomous institutions. The Oregon Institute of Technology, Oregon, US, announced that it was going to be the world’s first university to be powered entirely by geothermal energy. Also, the University of Oklahoma announced that the school’s main campus will be entirely powered by wind by 2013.

ternational community may frown at non-green energy generation. At such a time, it may be too late to reverse the massive investments, which the present government intends to make in the sector without even a thought on green energy.

Moreover, it was reported that in 2006 the Castile and León, and Galicia autonomous regions in Spain produced 70% of their total electricity demand from renewable energy sources, and 5 communities in the that country produce more than 50% from alternative energy sources. Brazil, a developing country like Nigeria currently generates about 26% of its total electricity from renewable sources. Portugal is also reported to currently generate 45% of its power from renewable sources. When will Nigeria think in this direction?

Green energy is the term used to describe sources of energy that are considered to be environmentally friendly and non-polluting, such as geothermal, wind, solar, and hydro. Sometimes nuclear power is also considered a green energy source. Green energy sources are often considered “green” because they are perceived to lower carbon emissions and create less pollution.

President Jonathan’s announcement that gas will remain the fuel to power in his reform plans, to be followed by coal at the states level, does not portray Nigeria as country that is in touch with the plight of the global community. Our policy planners do not seem to understand the global campaign to cut down on greenhouse emissions from fossil fuels like gas and coal. This ignorance may yield political gains in the immediate term, but it certainly has implications for the sustainability of the earth in the longer term. Thus, Nigeria has to develop the ability and political will to craft policies that are both futuristic and relevant in the short term. Backward thinking is certainly the last thing we need now. One foresees a time when like building nuclear weapons; the in-

And one only hopes that as the industrial revolution of the 19th century, which continues to elude Nigeria in the 21st century, she will not suffer the same plight with the green revolution. And sadly, with the present policy direction, there is little hope.

NOVEMBER 2010

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events

Patricia Omoqui’s Visit to Nigeria The Thought Dr., receives Two Awards

Ituah Ighodalo presenting an award to Patricia Omoqui

Ayo Moses & Patricia Omoqui

Revd Mrs Dele George & Patricia Omoqui

Ituah Ighodalo & George Ashiru

he internationally recognized and celebrated peak performance coach, inspirational speaker and writer, Patricia Omoqui has been recognized by two major organizations in Nigeria for her outstanding contributions in the area of developmental writing in Nigerian media and for her leadership/ mentorship of young Nigerians. In a well attended dinner hosted by friends of Patricia Omoqui and powered by Timeless Magazine published by Pastor Ituah Ighodalo, Patricia Omoqui received an award plaque for her outstanding contributions to developmental writings and broadcast in the Nigerian media. At another event organized by Now Leadership Incorporated, led by Obafemi Adeniyi, Patricia Omoqui received the first Legend in Leadership award for her mentorship of young Nigerians and her contributions to the field of leadership. In her acceptance speech and remarks, the American international peak performance coach married to a Nigerian from Edo state had the following to say: “Thank you so much for this award. It is an honour for me to share via my weekly column in Vanguard Newspaper’s allure Magazine. I am humbled. My only desire in life is to live my purpose and be of the greatest service to humanity that I can possibly be. This has been such a lovely evening. I am grateful to Timeless Magazine and Ayo Moses Public Relations for inviting me to this dinner and creating a forum where I can meet those who follow my column. In my work as a speaker, corporate trainer and life coach, my focus is on developing human potential. My aim is to help individuals and groups move beyond fear, limitation and self-doubt to achieve great success and experience a life full of purpose and meaning. Those of you who follow my column know that I write on many aspects of life from creating a Life You Love, to Excelling in the Workplace and business, to creating healthy relationship, and improving communication Skills. As a life coach, I call myself the Thought Dr. because I find that once a client heals their thinking and cleans up their fearful thinking and limiting beliefs, they then feel empowered and they naturally begin to change their lives for the better. I will confess to you that my favourite topic to write about is being an agent of Positive Change. I have regularly featured individuals and groups who are taking positive action to make a difference in their community. These men and women, young and old, able-bodied and disabled use their time, energy and personal resources to do their part to help Nigeria become the great Nation we all know she can be. Just as fear, self-doubt and limiting beliefs hinder us in our personal lives; they also hinder us in our national progress. Without a change in mindset, an individual repeats negative personal life patterns. This holds true at a national level as well. When a nation gets stuck repeating negative patterns that undermine progress, we must become honest and look closely at our thinking. We must examine the thinking that fosters poverty and lack, disrespect for human rights, corruption and inability to create infrastructural development.” During her weeklong visit, Patricia also visited the Little Saints Orphanage and was at the National Stadium to meet with and encourage physically challenged athletes. She also paid courtesy visits to Mo Abudu, the Vanguard Newspapers, and WimBiz (Women in Business in Nigeria) and was at Laterna Ventures for a photo session and introduction of her books and brochures to the public. 8

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NOVEMBER 2010

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events

Gem Woman --- Body, Soul and Spirit Tola Awoyemi

he program was put together by Gem woman magazine as it celebrated Nigeria at 50 and the Nigerian woman in general; it was attended by women from all works of life. Gem woman also used the opportunity to campaign against HIV/AIDS through an organization called GHAI. And a presentation was given by Bola Olawale. GHAI is a faith based organization aimed at reaching out in love to people living with HIV/AIDS, it is the charity arm of Gem Publications (publishers of GemMan and GemWoman), which has been involved in caring for people living with HIV/AIDS for over a year. A beautiful rendition of the National anthem was done by Kemi Ajumobi at the occasion with prayers led by Pastor Kunle Olawale. The programme was sponsored by MTN and NESTLE with representatives from these companies present to give short presentations on their products and services. There were lots of side attractions such as facials, hand massages, hair, and makeup and giveaway prizes for guests and raffle draws from the sponsors. The atmosphere was filled with laughter, music, dancing and entertainment, which was a perfect way to spend the Nigerian Independence for those who attended.

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Cover feature The Wisdom that Age Brings The greatest gift one generation can give another is the wisdom it has gained from experience. TIMELESS sat with some Nigerians, all of them older than 70 — to see what we can learn from them. Six septuagenarians tell us what wisdom they have gained from experience; what they did that if given a chance, they would do again; the one thing they did that they will not want others to do and life growing up in Nigeria’s 60s as compared to now.

lfred Otto Tunkarimu was born in Agoloma, Delta State of Nigeria. He came to Lagos in 1942 and stayed in Okesina Street Lafiaji, he is the only surviving son of his mother. As a result of his love for adventure, he travelled to England in 1948 where he worked with Corpers Works in Leeds for 6 years, and later moved to London in 1954. In 1960 he travelled round the Continent of Europe but stopped at Holland to study dairy farming for 3 years and then moved to Denmark for another 3 years to study Co-operative Management and Co- operative Movement. Now 81, travelling abroad opened his eyes and if given the opportunity, he would do it over again but he loves Africa the most because whether east, west, north or south, home is the best. Mrs. Rosemary Bank Otrofanowei was born in Sagbama area of Delta State Nigeria 70 years ago. She grew up not with a silver spoon but worked hard to find her way to the top. “I was taken to my husband’s family just to live with them and we got married and moved to Warri after which we started having children”. While she remained a house wife, she did some trading. Dr. John Kays Oladipupo is 77 years old. He attended Medical School, in Dublin, Ireland. He is a successful medical practitioner and a business magnate. Mrs. Sarah Jumai Olatunde is74. She is a retired business woman. In her prime years she was engaged in selling whole sale foodstuff on the mainland of Lagos. Through this trade she has built several houses in Lagos. Now she lives on proceeds from the rent she collects on some of her houses. Her three children also live on a few of the other houses she has in Lagos. As a young boy, he cracked palm kernel and fetched fire wood to pay his school fees because he lost his father at a very tender age. Rather than mope over his situation he made up his mind against all odds to make it in life. Now 76, Mr. Douglas Otrofanowei has no regrets he went through tough times to be a fulfilled man

NOVEMBER 2010

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cover feature in life and has learnt a lot in life and during his tour all around the world. Anonymous: At every stage of life there is a lesson and when you are young you are bound to make mistakes. I grew up in this town…I was born in what was then Eastern Nigeria and my father sent me to a maternal uncle who was a teacher in the then Midwestern region. He was transferred quite often, so my days in school were from one city to another. Finally, I was recalled by my father and after primary school I went to Onitsha between 1949 and 1953 where I finished secondary school. At that time, there was only one university in Nigeria; at Ibadan, and if you wanted to get in, you had to read very hard. All we wanted then was to start working and enjoy life, so we did not think of going to university. I came to Lagos in 1954, at 21, after I left secondary school. For us then, life was a long holiday; you earned your salary, went to the pub, drank and went about with friends. Living in Lagos then was very good and there were not too many people. There was a bus service operated by a Greek family and the buses were clean, cheap and reliable. I believe the people living in Lagos today are suffering because we did not see this sort of hardship when we came here. At that what time what is now Ajegunle was a vast open space with a few people of Igbo, Ijaw, Urhobo and Yoruba origin were living there. My first job was with the railways and I left after three years after I rejected a posting to Zaria. After that I joined the Nigerian custom service and worked there for 35 years before I retired. Marriage never came to my mind while I was at the railways; I got married in 1968 during the civil war.

particularly at old age. Dr. John Kays Oladipupo: “People get wiser with age mainly because they must have gone through a lot which makes them know so many things which the young might not know. This is not to say that some young people are not wise. The young people who walk with the elders can also acquire wisdom from interacting with the aged who are wise. Reading books or historical or religious accounts can also make people wise. Getting instructions from people of God like prophets and pastors can also make people wise without necessarily being very old. People who are led by the spirit or angels acquire wisdom from such relationships. They prosper better and faster than their mates. People who are very prayerful also drink from the wisdom of the Almighty who directs and guides them since they relate to Him regularly. As human beings we learn from experiences. Learning from daily experience enables us to plan for not only the future but to understand today to a large extent and have some kind of control of our lives. If the aged does not go senile on time for various reasons, he or she might have acquired some knowledge, which if properly used is regarded as wisdom.

Anonymous: Yes, naturally, I have grown wiser. For instance I have learnt not to drink as much as I used to when I was younger and also to avoid many things regarded as pitfalls. As you age, you have to avoid very many things if you want to continue living, for example smoking. Above all, what I will tell a young man is to do everything to avoid poverty, particularly at old age. If you are poor when you are you are young, you could manage with a lot of things. You can drink garri, lift stones to get paid, go out to drink with friends whenever you want. That is why as a young man, you have to take the time to plan ahead and not think you will always be young. I believe in education and in planning against old age because the greatest tragedy that can befall a man is poverty

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Mr. Douglass Otrofanowei: if you’ve worked for a long time, you would have learnt a lot from people, their mistakes, there’s no single thing you can nail that you would have done in a particular way, but thanks be to God, I have had the opportunities, I have worked with many people, white and black, I have travelled all over the world, I have learnt some things and corrected my mistakes as areas changed; before now, I lived in Ebute Metta, from there to Surulere, Aguda, Apapa GRA for 8 yrs, now am alone with my wife and there’s no one else. Mr. Alfred Tunkarimu: You must struggle to become a man or anything you desire to be in life.

Would you agree that wisdom comes with age? Mr. Douglas Otrofanowei: Yes, wisdom comes with age but not in all cases, because there are some people whose intelligence dwindles with age. People who lived well from the beginning continue to grow in wisdom and tend to be mentally alert at any age. People like Nnamdi Azikiwe, Obafemi Awolowo became wiser as they got older. If you read the interviews granted by Awolowo when he was 74, you would be surprised. This cannot apply to everyone particularly those of us who drank beer very much. It also has to do with where you worked and the company you kept, on the lifestyle of the individual. Heredity is also a factor. My people, the Igbos, also believe that Ijaws are very intelligent because they eat so much fresh fish. Fresh fish has a lot of phosphorus and that nourishes the brain. So, it is not always that intelligence grows with age, some get older and become more stupid.

by extended family and may be your village. You really do not need a lot of money, except of course you want to be a king of wherever you come from. What baffles me and any reasonable person is the amount of trouble people go to looking for money; they lie to friends and dupe people who have trusted them in business. Nothing pays like honesty. There are lot of problems that come with being rich, for instance people are envious of you; they actually hate you. And it is not that you have wronged them; it is just that you are wealthy. The way to live is to find pleasure in the simple life. I do not think the happiest people are the richest people; they have their own hazards and problems. But I think somebody who plans his life and finds pleasure in the simple life, paying attention to what he eats and develops his character and values, lives a happier life than people who are rich or make the headlines.

Mrs. Sarah Jumai Olatunde: Wisdom is an innate thing, which one is endowed with from birth. However, as one grows older it begins to spring forth. The older one gets, the wiser he or she becomes. On the other hand there a few young people who become wise even in their youth. Such people are specially endowed and they are very few in number. Age certainly brings about better experience which in turn brings wisdom

Mrs. Sarah Jumai Olatunde: My regrets are the sudden death of my husband and the waywardness of the male children. I had packed out of his house with the children when they were still very young. On hind sight, I strongly feel I should have endured his excesses. There is actually nobody without weaknesses. Now I feel I was too arrogant to continue living with him because he was engaged in extramarital affairs while I was the bread winner. The fact that he died suddenly made our children to grow up without the presence of their father. A child needs both parents while growing up. This missing part of their lives can never be filled by anyone. Boys can be difficult to raise most times. They need a father who would be there for them at quality times. Women too need the guidance of their loving husbands. Two of the three children have been in and out of jail in foreign countries. Now that they are back home, they have no serious work to do. I would not advise any financially successful woman to quit her matrimonial home. What you would have done differently?

Lessons learnt from life Anonymous: Life has taught me that the things of this world are transient. If you allow the struggle for wealth to control you, you may lose friends. Or if you allow it to come between you and other people, especially in the workplace, you may lose respect also. I have learnt that whatever you do, you do not need too much struggle to accumulate wealth. The money required by a man is too small to justify the struggle that he puts into looking for money. The average man growing up requires just enough money to build his kind of house and prepare his children for life, not by acquiring properties for them but through education. With education they can get their own properties anywhere. As a man, you also need money to be able to make those contributions required

Anonymous: For those of us who are Christians, we believe that things happen in our lives the way God wants them to. Because if I had been too careful from the beginning I might not be living till today; if when I started working at 21 I had started saving all my earnings, I might not be around today. Of course, there were times when we were reckless, like when we were in the Vespa Club in Kano, but my life has literally been shaped by God. You cannot be too wise and it cannot be all smooth, there will be ups and downs. I also know that at the time when I started getting more serious with life it was also God’s doing. Problems arise when one disobeys one’s conscience. Dr. John Kays Oladipupo: In my growing up years

cover feature especially as a youth there are some things I wish I had known. Most important is knowing and serving God intimately. I wish I had known Him all my life. This would have helped to reduce my mistakes in life. Unfortunately we did not have many of those who really knew God in those days. If I knew Him as much as I do now, I would not have become polygamous. I would have stayed with one wife and all the calamities associated with polygamy might not have come my way. Polygamy was the vogue then. Another major regret is in the area of business. I wish I had remained contented as a medical practitioner. My insatiable search for money led me to prison. Money did not really bring satisfaction. It allowed me some pleasures of life to some extent no doubt. Too much money brought too many women who came mainly because there was surplus money to spend. Medicine too no doubt fetched me some comfort. I wish I had concentrated all my working life on practicing medicine. Making so much money was really a distraction in my life. Some of the best things that have happened for you Anonymous: Mr. Okpalaka, a late friend of mine introduced me to the stock market and I pay my tribute to him. Without him, I would not have gone as much into stocks trading as I did. At that time, the government had what was called the indigenization policy where most companies were compelled to sell their shares to the public. The government deliberately made sure the companies offered the shares lower than their actual values. Those who bought then, in spite of the ups and downs of the stock market, have been relieved of some weights as a result. You cannot compare the worth of those shares today with when we bought; some of them are about fifty times what they were then. Mr.Tunkarimu: My opportunity to England, which gave me experience, my lovely wife who has given me wonderful children. What more can a man ask from God? Mr. Otrofanowei: I got promoted before my colleagues who were ahead of me. When I left school, my class mates went on to secondary school but all I did was borrow and read all their books, sometimes I buy the books they had bought, one of them is a professor in Ibadan now if not retired. I found out that when my classmates were on holiday, they used to talk about their books and their teachers, so all I did was to buy their books and read to be up to date so that when they discussed, I would understand. Dr. John Kays Oladipupo I want to be remembered as a medical practitioner who contributed his quota to the advancement of medical practice in Nigeria. Although I could have done more if not that I ventured into making more money. Mrs. Sarah Jumai Olatunde: Goodies in life. I thank God for not allowing my struggles in life to go in vain. He gave me the wisdom to build houses when money was flowing in. These are what we live on today that everybody is importing rice and other foodstuff. Selling foodstuff and reinvesting proceeds are some of the things I would like to do again and again if given the opportunity but not at the expense of neglecting my children... You were in your 20’s at Nigeria’s independence, what differences are there between Nigeria then and now? Anonymous: Before independence, values were high. What spoilt Nigeria is money, oil money. Unlike back then, today you need a lot of money to get married. And marriages were more sustainable. Then the pursuit of

money was not as fierce as it is now. Our values have changed very much because of money and politics. Then there used to be more people you could trust but today you cannot even trust friends. Take kidnapping for example. Mr. Otrofanowei: Now people talk of big, big things, people take stealing as a normal thing to do, the roads are bad, the standard of education has fallen and so many other things. It wasn’t like that then, everything was in order and life was quite easy. We were not in a hurry to do anything. Mr. Tunkarimu: I came back to Nigeria some years after independence. There’s nothing like having your own independence, for that I praise our leaders who fought for independence. There has never being a time when the political system of this country was right; it has always being a system of selfish people. This country has all it wants but we have no leaders to take care of them. Nigeria will grow up if we have more selfless people.

the other hand have absolutely no justification for what they do. Mr. Tunkarimu: Those are robbers and they should be shot as robbers and should not be living at all. They should work and not rely on the state wealth. I support them for the reasons of fighting for development and the negligent attitude of our leaders and their insincerity to people of the Niger Delta but notwithstanding; it does not mean they should go into kidnapping because the purpose of their anguish is lost. Mr. Otrofanowei: In those days there were no kidnappings, no way! They do it because of money, the Bible says thou shall not steal and love your neighbor as you love yourself. Nobody cares how you make money now, or the kind of work you are doing. When I was in Port Harcourt, we had Ibos, Ijaws and we all worked together, you could go to their homes, now it’s not like that. Views on Marriage then and Now?

Dr. John Kays Oladipupo: Life was not this rosy in the past. People were more morally upright. Things like pornography, kidnapping and even armed robbery were not common. Polygamy was certainly very popular among both rich and poor. Many people had contentment. They trusted God for a better future and worked towards it. Mrs. Sarah Jumai Olatunde: In the past years there was hardly any case of armed robbery. People had much respect for each other. Kidnapping was not rampant. Pornography was absent though men have always been polygamous. Few women could fight for their rights. There was no mad rush to make money as we have now. There were no area boys in town. Advise to the younger generation Anonymous: They should be more careful with life and not to drink too much. They should also try to trace the right path and not be in a hurry. Dr. John Kays Oladipupo The younger ones should work hard, be focused, pray for early success and have the fear of God in all their undertakings. Mrs. Sarah Jumai Olatunde: My advice for the younger ones is that they should be submissive, both husband and wife should train their children well and apply the rod when necessary. Views on kidnappings? Anonymous: Some young people who are allergic to toil and accustomed to soft living have decided that kidnapping is better than armed robbery because the risks are less and the rewards are less. In addition, 80% of university graduates for the last ten years are without jobs. And in the South East, you have a large number of young people who are not willing to work but want to indulge in drinking cold beers and eating chicken. As a result, most of the industrialists who own factories in Nnewi, Aba, etc. have all relocated to Lagos or Abuja and the factories are lying idle making the unemployment even worse. The Niger Delta Militants who kidnapped had a reason, over there in the Niger Delta; life is dead because of the activities of oil companies. These boys in the South East on

Mrs. Otrofanowei: Then we didn’t know anything because we didn’t go to school, so if our husbands said don’t do anything, we didn’t do it but now, because everybody is educated, no one wants to say yes, it’s only a few that are submissive but the truth is somebody must be the head of the house and family. There are many young girls who are not married, not because they are not beautiful but because they are very dictative and choosy. You can’t say no to a man who has come to ask for your hand in marriage in our time as you didn’t even have a choice. So if our husband said then that something was black, you can’t say it was white, you would agree with him because if you argued, there would be quarrel. Now, if a husband says something is white and the wife knows its black, she will argue it because they are both educated. Those days our parents investigated both families before marriage but now that’s not done. Interviews and reports by Uche Izayah, Taiwo Tunkarimu, James Akinbiyi Akinsola

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Life & Society FAMILY

RELATIONSHIPS

HEALTH

EDUCATION

SCIENCE

Marriage:

What’s Money Got To Do With It?

verwhelming financial concerns sometimes create strains that affect the expression of our love, not always because we want to be materialistic or selfish, but because we innately desire an all round stability in our relationships. The extent we can go to meet this need and the maturity at handling associated issues however differs. Various statistics show that financial concerns rank amongst the top five reasons for divorce and one of the top causes of conflicts and disputes in marriages. More than ever before, money plays an important role in marriages; today’s world is fast paced and the status of an individual and the opportunities available to them is increasingly being determined by material wealth. There is a strong pursuit for prettier, bigger, flashier and costlier things of life, and a lack of the ability to keep abreast with peers in this regard may cause unnecessary stress on the married life of any two people. When financial needs becomes unmet and expectations do not match up, it could cause persistent personal conflict and resentment that could then inspire a pursuit of independent dreams, without regards for what the other person feels or how it affects their relationship. Because one wants what the other doesn’t, there will be dissatisfaction and frustration, and love will become sour. In such situations, whether we choose to independently pursue our dreams or decide to stick through the financially challenged relationship, the truth

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is we will have to make choices that demand sacrifice. There may not be the desired financial buoyancy now, but is there love, teamwork, focus, determination and hard work towards success? Is it possible to hold up faith for a breakthrough? If you think your relationship is worth rescuing from the claws of financial tension, here are five recommended ways you can work it out: Be On The Same Page Communicate clearly to each other about your fears and concerns for your finances and together analyze your financial situation and agree on the financial future you want for yourselves. It is important that you both understand each other’s financial expectations. Have a Game Plan Strategize on how you want to achieve your financial dreams, don’t just wish and desire, you need to map out a practical and realistic way for you to make enough money for the kind of life you desire and to stay out of debt. Devise ways that can work best for you both. For instance, you can decide to work two jobs instead of one, or you may decide to relocate to another state where you can have better job prospects. Make No Room For The Lazy One It could be really frustrating to have a laid back partner who isn’t giving 100% commitment to your financial future. You both have to get out of your comfort zones and take actions to make your dreams become reality, discuss and agree on what each person’s

NOVEMBER 2010

contribution to your financial success would be and be committed to it. Don’t Bite More Than You Can Chew You will need to curb unnecessary spending, and together set financial priorities, make periodic budgets and stick to it. Don’t accumulate debts and put your financial future in jeopardy because you want to keep up with The Jones’. What is more important? Is it buying a new house or saving up your child’s education? Ask yourselves important questions, be realistic and stay on course. Let The Owl Do The Night Watch While both of you should be actively involved in your financial decisions, it is important to let the person who is more competent at handling it take charge. Don’t take it up if you are not disciplined with spending or if you find it difficult to keep account and balance the sheets. When Lost Ask For Directions Don’t hesitate to seek professional help and counsel when you think you need to. Remember you are not alone in this situation, there are couples who have been in and out of the financial mess you are. Don’t go through life trying to patch things up when you can get people to help you out. No matter what you are experiencing you can find help somewhere. Never wait till when the things eats you up and gets out of control before you call out for help, it might be too late. Take the bull by the horn, be equipped with the right knowledge and support from people who know about it. You don’t have answers to everything.

Shola Okubote writes on women’s growth and general lifestyle issues for print and online magazines. She is the publisher of www.femmelounge. org, an online magazine for young women. She is passionate about international development and women issues. She enjoys reading magazines, watching TV especially talk shows and spending time with her five sisters and four nieces! She loves tea, coke and rice in all its variety!

Life & Society The bane of “anything”

know the title has you befuddled but that is part of what I wanted. I just realized that we as Nigerians suffer from the bane of anything. Anything goes; anything is good as long as it is not nothing, right? We live in the fear of nothing so much that we go for anything just to ward of nothing. Not taking into consideration, if that anything is good enough for us. Now let me use a real life example, in this case myself. This is not just any article but partially cathartic for me and sadly it has taken me a while to learn this. I am hoping to open your minds to the possibilities that could unfold when you say no to just anything. My anything journey started after secondary school. I tried university admissions twice but since I wanted law or mass communication and both courses were very popular, I did not reach the cut off mark. The second time was so painful because I would have gotten in the second year by the quota system if I was maybe from the north but as I was from the south west, I lost that chance by two marks. As such I tried immediately after for the University of Lagos diploma programme in an effort to move on to another phase in my life. I got the form and filled in my courses of choice once again but as fate will have it, the same thing about the cut off happened again. I was tired of being at home and having my friends tell me about university life. I had lost many a friend who was suddenly ‘beyond my level’ because they were in school. I was just tired. So I did a change of course and got into the department of insurance. When I chose insurance over law or mass communication, it was out of frustration of staying home and watching another year pass by. A grand case of anything is better than nothing. As young as I was, my young mind knew I would have excelled and maybe come out with a first class maybe in mass communication, not necessarily in law because I like having fun at whatever I do. Luckily I learnt early, so by God’s grace I have not made that mistake again. So to my earlier question “why are we plagued by the bane of anything”? You are out of school with a degree in physics and because you know an uncle who is in banking who makes sure you get in, you become a banker, despite the fact that you know zilch about banking and are just there for the pay packet. Or consider the case of the young woman who marries a man because she is “getting to be an old gal”. How

are you sure he is not marrying you just because you are a woman and can have children? The bane of anything is so entrenched in our society that parents of fraudsters hail them as being good all in an effort to be fed and prostitutes are called role models. The bane of anything has gotten so far that many are shackled to a desk when they could be great entrepreneurs and many are slowly dying inside in relationships they could have avoided, but are in, so that they won’t have nothing? How did we get to this place? Anything goes, anything just to eat, anything to be married, anything to have a job, anything to be popular, anything to be a celebrity, anything to be a star, anything to own a car, anything to travel out of Nigeria, anything to wear designer clothes, anything but nothing. With the bane of anything has come the loss of our pride as humans, a loss of the right to say no to some things, the loss of our right of choice. For if anything

is good enough, sadly, anything is what you will get! So I am hoping someone has gotten the message that anything is not good enough. The fact that there is nothing now does not mean something is not on the way. The chance for anything might be there now, but what if after taking anything; you have lost the opportunity of getting something. Something outstanding, something awesome, something wonderful, something great, something sensational; is that something not worth waiting for? Adetola Asabo is a warm person who loves to write, likes making new friends and meeting new people. The University of Lagos graduate of Insurance is extremely confident and comfortable in her skin. She started writing as a form of self expression in secondary school and loves writing about anything that catches her attention. A former Senior Editorial Assistant at TIMELESS, this column is a dream come true for her. Adetola who is happily married says ‘writing is my addiction.’

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Life & Society

How to have a Healthy Fight Tola Awoyemi

rguments are predictable in almost every relationship. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but don’t think a fight has zto be a bad thing; arguments can be healthy, too. The test of a healthy relationship is not whether disputes occur, but in how the arguments are conducted. Communication is the key to any successful relationship. A true relationship between a man and a woman must engage a considerable element of communication. Argue in good faith When you and your partner enter into a disagreement, it’s important to realize that you have each other’s best interests at heart. Your partner may not agree with what you’re saying at the moment, but they’re not maliciously out to get you. Treating your partner as an adversary isn’t going to help resolve an argument about who will carpool the kids to their friend’s party next week. Even in the most heated arguments, trust that your partner cares about you and your feelings.

increased satisfaction and harmony in the relationship. Timing is everything If you’re going to bring up a contentious issue with your partner, make sure you have time to listen to the response. Don’t dish it out if you’re not willing to stick around and work it out and take responsibility for what you’re saying. Bringing up a problem five minutes before you’re both about to leave for work, for example, may not be the best way to resolve a disagreement. Instead, make sure you and your partner have the time to commit to a discussion before tackling a serious issue. For busy partners, that might mean planning ahead. Keep your discourse honest and polite Good relationships are based on trust and honesty. Be respectful enough of your partner and of the relationship you share to tell the truth even when you are arguing. At the same time, it is important to trust your partner and what he is saying so that you can develop trust

Try not to drop things in each other’s laps at the last minute. Let your partner know in advance that you might have to work all weekend. Don’t tell them on a Friday night, it would be upsetting. That should be your groundwork, keeping each other up to date. Keep it out of the bedroom The bedroom may be the only place where you and your partner can find privacy in your home, but it is not healthy to argue where you sleep. Bedrooms are places of calm, if you’re arguing in the bedroom, where are you going to go to get some rest? Rather than bringing negative energy into your sleeping area, choose a quiet place in the home away from the television and computer. Cell phones need to be turned off, not just put on vibrate. If you have children, make sure they’re at school, asleep or in a different part of the house before engaging in a disagreement. See the other side Since much of life is subjective, people have different points of view. In many instances, people with differing opinions may both have valid ideas. When you are arguing with someone, take time to investigate how the other person came to his conclusion. Ask questions to find out how he came to his decisions and look at the issue from both sides. While this may not make you change your opinion, it will help establish respect for both parties involved and allow you to keep the discussion rational. Really listen Not only do you need to be willing to really express yourself in an argument, but you need to take time to listen to your partner. If you are unclear what someone is saying, ask him to clarify. If you think you understand his point, reiterate it back to him asking him to confirm you are correct in your comprehension. This will assure your partner that you really value what he is saying and that you care enough to listen.

Find the real issues Often, the things people argue about are minor irritations and are not the real issues in their relationships. Arguments can become a catchall for every upset and unhappiness that has occurred, which only leads to confusion; it is difficult to solve a problem when you cannot even identify what the real problem is. If you find yourself frequently having blow-ups over the toothpaste cap or the milk carton, look beyond these discussions for the real issues. Is there a battle over control in the relationship? Is there resentment over a broken promise? While the real issue can seem more difficult to discuss, in the long run working it out will lead to

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NOVEMBER 2010

and honesty both ways. It is also very important to keep your conversation polite and respectful. Name-calling and verbal abuse quickly break down communication and are only counter-productive. While it may be tempting to denigrate someone in the heat of discord, in the long run it serves no positive purpose. Lay the groundwork It’s important for couples to discuss strategies for dealing with arguments before a disagreement arises because they won’t want to revisit these issues when times are good because they don’t want to upset the apple cart. But that’s what will strengthen the relationship.

Stay on topic One of the biggest mistakes couples make in arguing is that they don’t stay on track. If a disagreement about the cleaning schedule snowballs into an argument about the in-laws, dinner menus and homework duty, your chances of resolving anything are slim. You should be clear on what you’re arguing about, for some people, that means writing the issue down on a piece of paper. If you notice that the discussion is getting off topic, gently remind your partner of what your argument is really about and guide the discussion back to the topic at hand. Resolve issues In case you have had an argument with your partner, never go to bed angry. It is better to resolve anything that bothers you. Sometimes, it is fine to let mundane things go and move on with life. However, in case of painful issues, it is better to resolve them; else, they will eat away the relationship and build more tension.

Life & Society

Honey to the moon after “I DO” Taiye Tunkarimu

his is one holiday every newlywed look forward to especially from the night of the wedding. The preparation is usually made alongside the wedding plans so nothing is left out for this romantic holiday especially as it will be the couple’s first journey to starting a new life together. Many young couples have dreams and fantasies of beautiful places like the Bahamas, Paris, or just a place of relaxation for a while after all the stress of planning the wedding but how many people can afford the cost of this memorable holiday? It doesn’t have to be as expensive as everybody think if it is well planned and don’t forget that after the honeymoon, you have to live your lives and get all the necessary things that will keep you and your spouse comfortable afterwards so don’t spend all the money going to the moon and have nothing when you return back to the earth! The history of honeymooning dates as far back as the 19th century in the Western culture. It is a concept borrowed from the India elite. In the Indian subcontinent, the upperclass couples would take a “bridal tour”, sometimes accompanied by friends or family to visit relatives who couldn’t make it to the wedding. The practice soon spread to the European continent and was known as voyage a la facon anglaise (English style voyage) in France from the 1820s. The most popular honeymoon destinations at the time were the French Riviera and Italy, particularly its seaside resorts and romantic cities such as Rome, Verona or Venice. The honeymoon should be according to you and your partner’s plan as opposed to the wedding where both of your families and friends are involved because it (honeymoon) is a private thing. To make this occasion as special for you as possible, you need to prepare for it well in advance and put into consideration your honeymoon destination, activities and all the items needed to make this romantic vacation a memorable one. Explore the following pointers to know how to prepare for your honeymoon: • The first thing you have to think about is setting a budget after finding the best and cheapest travel package. Make the reservations in advance to ease you of any stress of planning all over again. •

Enquire about the place you want to visit.

• Lastly, go out and enjoy to the fullest. Remember honeymoon is a lifetime opportunity to make the most special vacation of you and your partner’s life. While preparing for this romantic and life time vacation, here’s a checklist for your honeymoon luggage. Packing can be a tedious process but before you begin to pack, have an idea of what you will be doing while on vacation. Next, find the appropriate size suitcase for your length of stay and make sure it is sturdy and in good condition. Don’t forget to leave room for souvenirs!! Leave expensive or precious valuables at home. For the romance: Bath Salts, Belgian chocolates – any chocolates!, Body lotion Body wash and scrubber, Bubble bath ,Candles – preferably scented, Hand held massager, Lingerie Massage oil , Mood music, Silk scarf – drape over a lamp for mood lighting. Bride’s clothing list: Bathing suit (at least 2), Beach cover-up, Bras, Dresses, Hat, Jacket or raincoat, Jewelry, Pajamas, Pants, Pumps, Sandals and flip flops, Shirts, Shorts, Skirts, Socks, Sweaters, Tank tops, Tennis shoes, Underwear

Discuss this with your partner and decide on your perfect idea of honeymooning. Make a list of the favorite vacation spots of both of you and then decide on something common. • Don’t hesitate to let people know that you are a honeymooning couple. You will surely receive a better treatment. • Take enough money to last you for the honeymoon. It’s always better to pre-pay for foods, lodging, activities etc. • Go for your honeymoon in all mushy moods. Walk with hand in hand on the beach in moonlit night. Generally, honeymooners stay at fancy hotels. Don’t forget to take all the advantage the hotel provides. Take massages, spa treatments together; enjoy jacuzzis, scented candles etc. • Remember to pack your sexy lingerie or silk boxers for your honeymoon. Also, pack some formal dresses for elegant dinners also.

Bride’s Bathroom items: Blow dryer, Brush, Curling iron, Dental floss, Deodorant, Eyeliner and shadow, Facial cleanser, Foundation and powder, Hair accessories, Hair styling products, Lipstick, Blush, Mascara, Makeup remover, Moisturizer, Mouthwash, Pads and tampons, Razor and shaving, cream, Shampoo and conditioner, Toothbrush and Toothpaste, Tweezers. Groom’s Clothing list: Belts, Blazer, Collared shirts, Dress shoes, Hat ,Jacket or raincoat, Pants, Robe, Sandals and flip flops, Shirts, Shorts, Socks, Swimsuit, Tennis shoes, Ties, Underwear Groom’s Bathroom list: Chapstick, Comb, Deodorant, Floss, Hair products, Mouthwash, Razor and shaving cream, Shampoo, Toothbrush and Toothpaste, Tweezers Miscellaneous: Beach towels, Books or magazines, Camera supplies – including extra film, extra battery, memory chip, Cell phone, Journal and pen, Laptop, Movies, Playing cards, I-Pod / MP3 player and speakers, Safety pins, Sewing kit, Sports wears, Sunglasses, small backpack, and Travel board games

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Living & St yle

FASHION BEAUTY FOOD HOMECARE GADGETS CARS LEISURE

Giving Your Bathroom a New Look Jude Chukwuemeka & Tola Awoyemi

do not always find their way onto tiles. Another area is the sink, which must be scrubbed regularly as well, not with abrasive materials, but with non-abrasive (that cannot scratch smooth surfaces) materials. The same goes for the tiles. Ensure that you wipe water off the surface of sink after use. Bath tub, if there is one, must be cleaned regularly with the same brush you use for the sink. This care is needed to keep the tiles shiny at all times.

he usual bathrooms in some contemporary homes are lacking in beauty and in safety issues. Of paramount importance is the manner in which people try to keep the bathroom clean and presentable, especially when visitors come around. Granted, as resplendent as your bathroom may be, it probably needs a make-shift. In many homes, the bathrooms are below moderate standards of cleanliness. Some are dangerous and can lead to severe accidents, which in turn, may lead to death. This fact is enough reason for one’s taking adequate care of the bathroom. One of the things you must do to keep your bathroom clean is to be in possession of the right tools for cleaning. Walls and Sink If the walls are cemented and budget is tight, you could consider putting tiles half-way up the walls so that water does not perforate the walls, leading to the weakening of sections of walls. The added benefit is that cleaning the walls become easier because grimes

Shower Curtains All shower curtains are subject to the buildup of things like soap scum, mildew and mold. The wet, humid environment of the shower is perfect for the growth of germs as well so you should use a disinfectant cleaner on your shower curtains to kill germs and inhibit the growth of mold and mildew. Shower stalls and shower curtains should be allowed to dry thoroughly after daily use. Cloth shower curtains should be washed regularly. All shower curtains should be replaced every 1-3 years, especially the plastic/vinyl types.

crevices will only encourage mold growth. Throw away, store, or use up any products that you don’t use frequently. Set or place beauty tools where they will not sit in collected water, you may even consider hanging a shelf or cabinet that is easily reached from the shower, as this will allow your products to air-dry completely, avoiding mold growth. Do Your Drains Drain? If the bathroom floor was built in such manner that water residues are often seen on the corners of the walls, then there is a problem. The floor of the bathroom must be built in such a way that no pool of water, no matter how shallow should be left after a bath. This allows the bathroom floor to remain clean and without bad smells. First, make sure that you have good drainage in your sink, tub or shower. If the water does not drain as quickly as you run water, you have a present (or building) problem. When water doesn’t drain properly, it stands, creating an environment that is moist for longer periods of time. These types of environments are those in which mold thrives. Use a bleach solution, a chemical specially formulated to unclog drains, or call a plumber if the drain stoppage is particularly bad. It will be impossible to maintain a clean bathroom without properly working drains.

Minimize Toiletries, beauty tools, and soaps are common bathroom items, but do you need all of them? Variety is the spice of life, as they say, but almost-empty bottles of shampoo, the once-a-week facial scrub, and the plastic toothbrush cup are all breeding grounds for mold. The more stuff you have, the longer it takes for your shower, bath or vanity to dry. Damp or wet

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Living & Style

The Basics of Maternity Wear Amama Ekwere

o the cat’s out of the bag and everyone has heard the exciting news. The first change happens long before the baby comes. Reality sets in when you pull on your favourite pair of ‘skinnies’ and they just won’t button. The last time that happened, a few hours in the gym sorted you out. Well, this time it’s not quite that simple.

A few years back, building a pregnancy wardrobe would have been a daunting task, but designers have taken time out to pay attention to maternity wear and Hollywood has made the “bump” trendy. Your first consideration should be how your body is reacting to pregnancy. By the beginning of the second trimester once regular clothes won’t fit. You will now be looking for comfort, style, variety, clothes for several occasions or just doing your best to stretch your budget, or all of those things. Style Basics 1. Stay dark. Dark colours create that slimming optical illusion. 2. Wear one colour from top to bottom. Two different colours create a break in your figure. 3. Adjust the spotlight. Draw attention to great spots and away from spots you are less inclined to show off. 4. Watch your lines. Vertical lines create height while horizontal lines create width. Favour clothes with vertical stripes, vertical zippers, vertical stitching, and vertical rows of buttons. 5. Stay fit. With your clothes, that is. Look for tops, shirts, sweaters, jackets, and dresses that fit you well in the shoulders. Hanging shoulders will give you a bulky look. 6. Tighten up. Your inclination might be to go loose and flowing but bigger isn’t better when it comes to maternity clothes. In fact, clingy clothes actually make you look slimmer than baggy clothes. Plus, they give you a chance to show off exactly what’s causing all the ballooning ... the growing baby in your belly. 7. Do not buy clothes that fit you perfectly. If it fits you just right today, it will be too small next month, or even next week! Buy clothing that you and your belly can grow into. 8. Choose clothing that has drawstrings, tiebacks, side buttons, and maternity panels. These will help your clothes both fit properly and grow with you. 9. Purchase extenders and belly bands. Can’t give up your beloved jeans? Pick up extenders and belly bands as these will help you wear regular jeans well in to your pregnancy. Maternity Essentials 1. Underpants and Lingerie: Stick with your favourite brand, just buy them in a larger size. Stay 20

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with 100% cotton to keep cool, dry and prevent vaginal infection. 2. Bras: By the end of the first trimester, your breasts will be considerably larger and will get bigger as you progress. Make support your primary focus and accentuate your growing bust. Comfort and breathability are also very important. Sport bras and tanks come in handy since they offer support and comfort all at once. Use them to exercise in and sleep in. Camisoles with built-in bras are also a good choice. By your last trimester, pick up a few nursing bras and be sure to skip the ones with restrictive under wires. Keep in mind, however, that your breast expansion will continue once your milk factory kicks into gear. 3. Trousers: Buy those that have panels, drawstring closures, low rise and super-elastic waistbands. Do invest in at least one pair of maternity trousers, a pair or two of maternity leggings and a pair of superstretchy, boot-cut yoga pants. 4. Skirts and Dresses: There’s nothing more comfortable than slipping in to a skirt or dress. They can also make you feel pretty when you’re at your heaviest. The right dress can be worn a dozen differ-

ent ways and Wrap dresses are particularly comfy. 5. Shirts and Tee-shirts: You can find flattering tees in fitted shapes with that extra bit of stretch that ensures they fit your contours. A V-neck or boatneck dresses up simple cotton. Wear them under a jacket, wrap, sweater, anything at all. You can also find flattering blouses, tank tops, halters, etcetera in both form-fitting and looser-cut styles to round out your pregnancy wardrobe. 6. Sweaters: Sweaters are an especially practical addition to a pregnancy work-and-play wardrobe. They’re as put-together as a blazer, but much more comfortable and feminine. 7. Shoes: You are not shopping for just appropriate styles, but to buy bigger shoes. Your feet can grow one or more full shoe sizes during pregnancy, and may not go back to their original size after delivery. Leave the 6-inch stilettos to the Sex and the City gang. Think quality sneakers, chunky pumps, ballerina pumps and sandals. Your feet carry the load, and with that load getting heavier by the day, they’ll tire easily. If you must have a delicate shoe to match a suit or formal outfit, you can try a lower, but still cute, kitten heel.

Living & Style

The Little Black Dress Tola Awoyemi

very woman has one, and it is her best friend. It is the little black dress that is perfect for unexpected dinner parties, weddings, funerals and every social event under the sun. The little black dress is the most important item in a modern woman’s wardrobe. Introduced in the 1920s by Coco Chanel, the black dress remains chic, elegant and classic. To accessorize the little black dress requires imagination and a few fashion tricks that will flatter every woman’s figure. Though every woman has a little black dress, there are some ways to spice up the way you wear it to make it seem new. 1. Adorn your dress with a brooch. Jewelry, whether costume or real, gives a special touch of sparkle to a simple black dress. Attached to a belt on your waist or pinned near the top of the garment, an antique pin or ornate bauble adds an effortless touch of magic to your little black dress. 2. Tie a scarf around your neck for a pop of colour. Add a little touch of Parisian style with a silk, rayon or cotton scarf. A brightly coloured scarf tied around the waist will draw the eye towards the smallest part of a woman’s body. 3.

Use outrageous outerwear to balance the

simplicity of your little black dress. Grab your flaming red trench coat or winter cape with the faux-fur collar, and wear these statement pieces over your black dress for added drama.

rectly, is the ultimate accessory for the fashionable woman wearing the little black dress.

4. Drape your fashionable frock with pearls. Nothing says glamour like a luxurious strand of pearls. As a symbol of timeless elegance, the ivory hue of the pearls shines brightly against the dark color of the little black dress.

10. Wear a jacket with your little black dress to the office. It is a great way to dress up at the office without being inappropriate. This also makes it easy to transition from day to night if you are going out after work. Just take off the jacket and let your black dress shine.

9. Add a belt. Especially if you have a classic sheath dress. Using a bright coloured belt, or a neutral tone, is a great way to wear the little black dress with style.

5. Select the finest footwear and handbags your money can buy. Scrimp on the cost of the little black dress. But splurge on your shoes and purses. A little black dress is the perfect canvas for brightly coloured bags and shoes. The simple silhouette of a black dress gives women the perfect chance to experiment with all the colours of the rainbow without fear of a fashion faux pas. 6. Add signature evening accessories for special occasions. When dressing for a special event, or a last minute dinner date, grab your silver and goldtone fashion trimmings to spice up your little black dress. Metallic strappy sandals, diamond-encrusted bangles and sequined clutches are small touches that can convert the little black dress from day to evening quickly. 7. Accessorize using something simple like an eye-catching clutch, or bold necklace, is a great way to wear the little black dress and show off your personality at the same time. Put on a pair of sassy, colourful shoes. Nothing makes a great pair of shoes stand out like wearing them with all black. Try a stunning pair of pink taffeta heels or a pair of satin maroon slides with any black dress. 8. Use dramatic makeup to add additional colour to this wardrobe classic. Don’t ignore lips, eyes, fingertips and toes when accessorizing the little black dress. Wear bold eye colour. Paint on ruby red lips. Use the daring colours of the seasons to polish your fingernails and toenails. Makeup, when applied cor-

NOVEMBER 2010

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Living & Style New generation KIA Optima Agbele Olusola

ia sounds surprisingly playful for a car manufacturer’s name and as the brand’s tag line reads, they really are all about the power to surprise. Arriving in Kia showrooms across the UK (and Nigeria of course) in 2011, the Optima, continues Kia’s design-led transformation, while revealing a completely new and stunning design language for Kia, highlighted by a dynamic and streamlined profile that conveys elegance and athletic confidence from every angle. Kia’s new saloon will be called ‘K5’ in Korea and ‘Optima’ in all other markets. Designed at Kia’s studios in Frankfurt, Germany and Irvine, California, the all-new Optima is longer, wider and lower than the Magentis it replaces and is based on an all-new midsize platform that allows for distinctive dimensions and proportions, while also providing a unique canvas for Kia’s global design team to pen a vehicle that stands apart from everything else in its segment. The all-new Optima’s smooth-flowing lines speak of grace and style and offer a strong hint of European-style luxury. Optima’s groundbreaking spirit will continue under the bonnet with the introduction of new powertrains, which deliver class-leading power with highly competitive fuel economy and employ engine management systems such as direct injection, multi-point injection and turbo charging to help bring performance to the brand without sacrificing fuel efficiency. The striking face of all-new Optima features Kia’s bold signature grille that is flanked by projector head-

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lamps. Optima’s coupe-like profile is enhanced by a sweeping chrome arc that flows from the A- to the Cpillars, a distinctive design motif that visually lowers the car further and enhances its proportions. Optima’s roofline connects with its high and pronounced shoulder line that leads to its sculpted flanks and the extended wheelbase. Boldly flared wheel arches and a steeply sloping rear window create a saloon with a graceful muscular stance. The all-new Optima will offer numerous standard exterior features including dual exhausts, solar glass and indicators on the wing mirrors. Depending on the trim level, fog lights, heated exterior mirrors, exterior chrome or body-colour door handles along with 17-inch alloy wheels and 215/55 R17 tyres will also be available. Inside, all-new Optima creates an immediate sense that this is a driver’s car. The instrument panel is contoured toward the driver to suggest a cockpit feel, with precise gauges and controls for an overall sporty performance experience without sacrificing comfort or roominess. Paddle shifters behind the steering wheel convey that Optima is built for people who are passionate about driving their cars. A high console with a short shifter adds to the cockpit ambience, while an optional glass panoramic sunroof will provide an open-air feeling. Offering occupants both space and comfort with a number of standard convenience features, the saloon’s chic cabin unifies with the exterior design by welcoming its passengers with lean and ergonomic

seat design. Modern standard features such as sixway adjustable driver’s seat with power lumbar support, illuminated vanity mirrors and a trip computer will further expand the cabin’s luxurious qualities. In addition to offering a comfortable cabin, impressive technology features will also come standard throughout, including a high quality ‘Dimension’ audio system with AM/FM/CD and MP3 compatibility with eight speakers. Auxiliary and USB audio input jacks for connecting with MP3 players and Bluetooth connectivity with steering wheel-mounted voice activation controls will feature. Interior comfort and convenience will be enhanced with available features that include a tilt/telescopic steering column, power door locks, power windows, sun visor extension and an air-conditioned glove box. Stylishly appointed cloth seats provide comfortable seating while a 60/40 split-folding rear seat offers a versatile cargo capacity. Automatic transmission equipped Optima cars will feature cruise control and Kia’s ‘Active Eco System‘ indicator to assist with fuel efficient driving. Other available premium features will include pushbutton start with smart key, dual-zone automatic climate control, heated and ventilated front and rear seats, leather-wrapped steering wheel and shift knob, auto light control, driver and front passenger automatic window up/down and eight-way powered driver’s seat, illuminated glove box, rear reading lamps and chrome door handles.

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Take a Walk with Your Customers Even though two different policies dictated these scenarios, they shared a common dilemma. The customers’ requests weren’t handled as they wished, which happens when customers don’t understand why banks have certain policies. Not as obvious yet integral to these interactions were customers who did not feel understood. The bankers tried to help by explaining the policies, but were the customers heard or understood by the bankers? And is understanding the customers more important than processing their requests?

n a busy bank lobby, I recently overheard a banker reiterate a policy, only to have the customer respond irritably, “Why are you making it so hard? I could close this account and move it to another bank. You won’t let me simply take my uncle’s name off the account without a death certificate?” Customer satisfaction expert Gary Heil tells a similar story. Gary had asked for overdraft protection on an account at his bank, where he was a long-time customer with several accounts. In response the bank requested his tax returns for the previous three years. When he suggested his other accounts could be collateral, the bank was inflexible. 24

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Understood Customers Are Happy Customers When push comes to shove, making sure customers feel understood is more important than getting paperwork done. Why? Customers who feel understood feel good about the relationship. They’re willing to comply with necessary requirements, and they’ll come back to do more business. They’ll also tell others how great you are.

you will find several reasons to buy. If you don’t feel understood, you won’t find a single reason to buy, no matter how great the product is. Customers like feeling understood. If you contribute to their positive feelings, they’ll like you. And two people who like each other get more done in less time than two people butting heads or one who’s upset while the other patiently re-explains a policy. Shorter, more congenial interactions boost your productive. Prospects who don’t feel understood raise more objections, especially on prices and fees, and make buying decisions more slowly. They use objections as trump cards against your demands, eating away at your time. Prospects and customers who feel understood often make decisions more quickly, using fewer company resources. Another bonus is that customers treated with dignity and respect reward staff with their trust, which leads to openness, information sharing and efficient use of time. Turnaround consultants consistently report that the most important yet least used tool for building customer relationships is courtesy. Customers who feel understood respond willingly and naturally to your camaraderie. Customers who are understood value their relationships with your organisation and object less to prices and fees. Feeling understood, they’re more likely to take long-term views of their relationship, which will pay off in future business from them, family members, friends, associates and businesses. Mary Kay Ashe, of cosmetics fame, reminds her salespeople, “Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from his neck saying, ‘Make me feel important.’ Never forget this message when working with people.” Feeling Understood: What Does It Really Mean? As we communicate “I understand” to our customers to make them feel understood, are we saying “yes” to whatever they request? No. Feeling understood doesn’t mean getting whatever you want. Are we saying, “In your shoes, I’d do the same thing”? No.

As Gary Heil says about customer service, “Loyalty is never rational, and nearly always emotional.” Reaching customers on a human, emotional level that leaves them feeling understood can bring you many benefits.

What we are saying, verbally and nonverbally, is, “I hear you. I allow you to express what you need to say.” Customers feel understood when they have been able to “speak their piece,” and when we accept that what they say matters. Acceptance conveys that you value them.

To paraphrase an adage: if you feel understood,

Respecting customers’ time and experience also con-

Business tributes to their feeling understood, so be sure to give customers opportunities to express themselves. This creates a powerful connection. It communicates your willingness to help them accomplish what they want in the best way possible for them. This interaction style shifts emphasis from regulations and policies to your customers. Tips for Helping Customers Feel Understood Achieving a base of customers who feel understood takes more than posting a new customer service creed or running a sales contest. It’s a more integrated and continuous process. A good starting point might be your business cards. Pull one out. Is it elegant and reflective of your position? Does it convey dignity? Is this what business cards are for? Rather than using business cards to impress or to fit a corporate design, consider a card that customers will find informative, practical and useful. Print telephone numbers in large, easy-to-read type or include direct lines for specific services. A list of services could be effective, or the locations and hours of your services. Speaking of hours, are yours set for your convenience? Or do they reflect that your customers’ needs, so you’re open when they need you?

with creatures of emotion, creatures bustling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.”

stead, convey that you value customers by allowing them their say.

Five Steps to Helping Customers Feel Understood Prepare for customer interactions with information and focus. Preparation includes gathering background information on customers with scheduled appointments; using demographics that focus on specific customer segments; and establishing rapport in your exchange. The more you know about your customers, the better understood they’ll feel. Today’s micro-demographics provide more in-depth specifics than the broad categories of empty-nesters or dual-career couples, small business or middle market. Accessing this information will help you develop valuable rapport with your customers, rapport that goes beyond opening chitchat to a real connection.

Communicate that you value your customer. Once you have listened, clarified and acknowledged hearing the customer, continue involving the customer in the process as you move into accomplishing a task or resolving a problem. Rather than saying, “Okay, here’s what I’m going to do,” you might, for example, suggest a couple of alternatives. Try to be flexible. And by keeping your customer involved in the process, you are giving the customer some ownership in the ultimate decision and solution.

Listen to your customer. Listening is an active, not a passive, behaviour. Listening means making eye contact, focusing only on the customer and conveying respect as the customer speaks. And sometimes you’ll find that all your customers really need is an opportunity to have their

A good opportunity for helping customers feel understood are your processes. Do you make it easy for your customers, or do regulations dominate interactions? Perhaps you could reduce the paperwork, ease the complexity or even eliminate some document requests. Today’s customer-focused organisations scrutinize “fine print” and obtain regulatory approval for more friendly processes and forms. While in your customers’ shoes, look around your lobby, at your statement formats and other communications. Are they talking “at” your customers, or communicating effectively? Your organisation’s communication style is paramount in developing customers who feel understood. It includes written pieces, atmosphere and personal interactions. Is yours a communicating style, where conversations with customers are two-way exchanges? Or do you tell your customers what you think they should know? Integrating communication that contributes to customers feeling understood requires everyone in the organisation to adopt the same practices. A good place to begin is with employee discussions of communication style. If this sounds like a family communication course or a consensus-building, win-win workshop, it’s because each contains human interaction elements. Remember, our human and emotional side help make decisions. Pressure for increased new sales and cross-sales may prompt you to offer more product and sales training. These sessions offer an ideal opportunity for building and polishing skills that help customers feel understood. As communications guru Dale Carnegie said, “When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing

Dale Carnegie reminds us, “You’re doing well if you can make people think that what you’ve said is their idea.” Your goal is an understood customer, not an understood service provider. Try to keep away from giving the power to policy, too. You know the routine, “Our policy states ...” Instead, help your customers feel confident about what your firm says and do, so they don’t hide behind policies. Involve the customer in the process and the solution. Once you begin actively listening and involving your customers, you’ll identify countless opportunities for helping customers feel understood and for cross-selling. For example, when a customer closes an account, find out why. Learn from what the customer tells you. When you learn in an interview that a customer has been approached by another firm, spend time gaining information, such as, “Why did you agree to the appointment? What was said that interested you?” The process helps your firm find out what you’ve been missing and it conveys that you value and care about your customer. Understood Customers are Buyers You may say, “These five steps seem to work. But wouldn’t two steps be easier? Step one, customers express a need. Step two, we tell them what they must do and what we’ll do. Job done?” Sure, two steps might be easier, if both providers and customers weren’t humans and if we didn’t need customers as much as we do. The reality is that we’re dealing with humans and you want customers to buy from your firm. Max Dixon, a communications professor and coach, says, “People don’t buy because they understand. They buy because they feel understood. When a consultant helps a customer feel understood, the consultant creates a buyer.”

say. That done, they’re ready to move on. Acknowledge what you hear. As you listen, acknowledge what you are hearing. This can be done nonverbally by nodding, smiling or relaxing your body posture. Use verbal cues such as, “Oh,” “I see” and “I hear what you’re saying.” Sometimes you may want to clarify, “I think I hear you saying ...” The tone of your voice, too, says as much as the words you use. Your listening should be affirming and sincere, without being patronizing. For instance, “You are feeling worried. Let’s see what we should do.” Don’t try to argue customers out of their feelings or become defensive. That fuels ill will. In-

Adebowale Jeff Johnson, a Human Resource Consultant is the founder/ CEO Jeff Johnson Business Solutions and Jeff Johnson Business School. He is also a member, Board of Director, Grace House Worship Centre. Prior to starting his own business, he has worked with firms like Phillips Consulting Limited, SoftSkills Management Consultants, People Prime Limited, and SIAO. He has spoken at several university campuses and is currently writing a paper to develop quantitative analysis and decision making with the use of data to develop business model that will enhance organizational performance.

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Business Why You May Not Get A Job

have learned a lot of things from people searching for jobs, some of which I will share with you here; some of them are from my personal experiences. By this you will be able to learn a lot from mistakes a lot of applicants and people trying to change jobs make and that I have made in my career. If you follow these tips, I am sure it will minimize the mistakes you will make in future, if not eradicate them. Let me share with you 7 common mistakes usually made by job seekers that will keep you from getting your desired job. 1. Don’t be afraid to take risks: a lot of applicants and people who want to change their jobs are afraid to make a move towards getting the right kind of job they want. Many people are comfortable at their present level because they are afraid of the new challenges awaiting them. During my NYSC days I remembered that a month to the end of the camp, a lot of us were praying that they should extend the service year because we were comfortable with what we were being offered by the government, coupled with the fact that we had been told that there were no jobs out there. So instead of going out there to start looking for new jobs that are not available, why can’t they extend the service year? That was our thought. It sounds funny but that is how a lot of us think. We are always scared to write for job applications, drop our CVs at different places or change our jobs because we think we don’t know what we will meet outside our present comfort zone. Don’t forget that it is risky not to take a risk because life itself is full of risks. When you think that “what if I fail? Ask yourself on the other hand what if I succeed? 2. Don’t get a job that will not give you good worklife balance: Research has shown that 30% of sick leave is attributed to stress, anxiety and depression, all which are increased by a poor work-life balance. Work can be very demanding and stressful at times, so it’s important to take plenty of time out from work to play, relax, partici-

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pate in sports, or do whatever helps you to unwind and relax. It’s much better to work efficiently than to accept the culture of working long hours that is still prevalent in many organizations. Don’t work for an organization that expects you to start early, finish late and take work home at the weekends. Look for a company that recognizes the considerable benefits of a healthy balance between work and your life. It does not make sense if you make a lot of money and you don’t have the time to spend it or you spend greater part of the money on drugs. How will this affect you getting a new job? For most people considering changing jobs, you find out that you are not mentally fit for the new opening. That is one reason why interviewers disqualify a lot of candidates; they are not mentally fit for the position.

abreast of the market, especially when things are going well. The best time to search for your next career move is when you are happy in your existing role. First, if you do decide to meet prospective new employees, you will be approaching them from a position of strength and satisfaction. Secondly, you will not be under pressure to accept a job, so if it doesn’t meet your criteria, you will be able to stay where you are and wait for the right one to come along. Don’t negotiate when you are anxious. 5. Do your research: don’t just accept any offer, spend time to do your findings about the company. Use the Internet to keep abreast of what is happening to the performance of the company and find out more about what life is like working for them. If possible, find ways to meet individuals from the company. Read companies reviews and market performance of the company. This is important so that you will be able to make decisions based on the information you would have gotten. A lot of people have jumped into openings only to later lose the job the following month because the company decides to downsize. 6. Don’t be in a hurry to sign any contract if you are not clear about it. Ask for time and consult someone that can really help you in making the right choice. A lot of people have signed themselves off because all they saw was 4.5million p/a not knowing that 70% of the money has been attached to individual and company performance. So if the company does not perform maybe due to government policies or other factors beyond your control, it means you are not going to get what the company has promised. 7. Search for the jobs: Most people are so lazy that they feel jobs will be looking for them automatically. I met a guy who has been looking for job for the past 14 months. I asked him where he has dropped his CV. I was shocked to hear that he has not dropped his CV anywhere. He thought that he will be called from the blues one day. Buy and if you can’t buy dailies, get someone that buys them and ask to go through them to check for the available jobs you can do.

3. Never make a career choice based on money: I know this may sound hard but choosing your first job or changing your job for money usually only offers shortterm benefits. If you find yourself chasing money, you will ultimately price yourself out of the market and therefore dramatically reduce the opportunities available to you in the future. A much more productive approach is to focus on building your skills and identifying jobs that will add value to your skills and offer you progression. That will make your CV increasingly attractive to future employers. You will find that as time passes and you build on your skill, your abilities will be recognized and the reward, which is always 80% financial, will naturally follow. I have seen people making a career move because of money and in the process they lost fulfilment and satisfaction. 4. Don’t look for jobs when you are not happy or, when you are frustrated: Most people only start to look for a new opportunity when they are unhappy. That often leads to their getting a job when they are not psychologically prepared for it, or leaving their existing job without sufficient preparation, and therefore making a bad choice of the new position. To avoid this you should always keep

Bukola Idowu is an experienced and innovative people & organizational development expert, with years of experience with two leading Nigerian banks renowned for excellence & customer oriented banking. He regularly combines the role of a Social Entrepreneur, Preacher, Trainer, Business Development Consultant, Human Resources professional and People Development Coach. He is the Managing Partner of Opportunity World Consulting (a Business & Human Capital Development firm) that helps businesses, corporate organizations and individuals alike get the best out of their ventures and staff. He is the author of “What the CEOs are looking for in you” amongst many other books. Email: bukola@opportunityworld.biz , www.bukkyidowu.com .

Business

Diaspora vs. Facebook:

the Anti-Privacy War Begins

ith the recent issue trending on the web over privacy, the open source social media, Diaspora that was founded by four students Dan Grippi, Michael Salzberg, Raphael Sofaer and Ilya Zhitomirskiy in mid 2010 with freshly minted University Diplomas from New York University has issued out its developer’s release on their website (www. joindiaspora.com) It’s coming at a time when Facebook is facing serious criticisms from its users’. The over 500 million users’ behemoth has faltered on issues pertaining to privacy and Diaspora, a ‘rebel’ social networking platform is offering a breath of fresh air in this regard. The antiFacebook social networking site to be, recently unveiled some more details about what their project will look like. Features so far include the ability to share photos; enjoy a degree of encrypted traffic, and in the near future, hopefully data portability and Facebook integration. According to Nicole Ferraro of Internet Evolution, “The heavy focus for Diaspora, seems to be on community for a couple of reasons. First, it’s an open source project and second, Diaspora is supposed to be all about the user”. The Diaspora guys set out their project at first with funding provided through Kickstarter and within a couple of weeks, they raised four times more than their expected target with Facebook founder, Mark Zuckerberg contributing to the project saying “I see a little of

me in them”.

munes with their recruited converts in the 60’s”.

According to Diaspora’s Blog, “This is now a community project and development is open to anyone with the technical expertise who shares the vision of a social network that puts users in control “. It sounds very nice and I want it to go beyond rhetoric, but a lot of things sounds nice and in writing this, I can’t but think on what it’s claiming to be according to Nicole Ferraro, “is sort of an idealized version of a social network from a consumer perspective”.

Realistically, from a Web Developer viewpoint, the pre-alpha code is so insecure and a lot of security researchers have criticized it too, this is nicely summed up in an article by PC Magazine. Diaspora might have users’ best intentions at heart, but it may also be trying to fix something that is working too well.

Privacy as a central issue is still the responsibility of the end user. To some extent, it’s the end users’ duty to guard themselves and never provide too much of information to a SaaS (Software as a Service) platform such as Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and of course Diaspora. Reactions have been generated across the web with Social Media enthusiasts airing their views about the new phenomenon. A Web Developer, Arnold Kurtz says “If Diaspora really wants to gain interest by ‘elitists’, they should start out their system by ‘invitation only’. Make some sort of public announcement that they only want the world’s best and brightest. Who would resist an invitation like that little ego booster? Then to keep the illusion of exclusivity alive, they would reject people who were invited by friends and have an appeals process to let them in anyway, sort of how the Hippie com-

Ubong Udoh holds over 8 years of progressive responsible experience in Information and Communication Technology (ICT) including overseeing and developing distributed and centralized ICT infrastructure and mission critical systems in international controlled environments. He is the CEO and Principal Consultant of SYSPERA, a firm with three focal points Technology, Consulting and Outsourcing. He is the Founder and Lead Senior Research fellow at Technology Corps Africa, an African ICT nonprofit where he leads research on public policy issues, copyright and e-democracy. He is a fellow of the Wireless Internet Institute, a professional trainer of ICT professionals with 12 professional certifications and a Microsoft Ambassador on Internet Safety, Privacy and Cybersecurity.

NOVEMBER 2010

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& Culture

books movies music theatre photography exhibitions architecture

Faber snaps up a debut by 19-year-old Nigerian

aber has acquired the world rights to a debut novel by a 19 year-old Nigerian author, Chibundu Onuzo.

Editor Sarah Savitt bought world rights from Capel and Land for an undisclosed sum. Set in Nigeria, The Spider King’s Daughter tells the story of a romance between two young people from different backgrounds, a 17 year-old poverty-stricken hawker and the cosseted daughter of a wealthy businessman. It was described by Faber as “a modern-day Romeo and Juliet, set against the backdrop of a changing Lagos, torn between tradition and modernity, corruption and truth, love and family loyalty”. Onuzo, a history student at King’s College London, was born in Nigeria in 1991 and is the youngest of four children. She said: “I’ve been writing since I was ten and fantasising about being published since I was fourteen, so to say I’m excited is an understatement.” The novel is due to be published in summer 2011. The two-novel deal with the British publisher Faber, makes her its youngest ever woman author. “I wrote the book in my last year at school,” Onuzo told CNN. “This was the first novel I finished, so it was very liberating to be able to write ‘The End.’”

Chibundu Onuzo

Arts & Culture Events Diary

Onuzo, who moved to England to go to school five years ago, found an agent before she had even finished writing, and sealed the book deal on her first meeting with a publisher. Her editor, describes Onuzo as a “very talented writer at the beginning of an

Have your arts and culture events publicised on this page. For your book launch or presentation, arts exhibitions, music releases, film shows, theatre presentations etc. Send details to timeslesscourage@yahoo.co.uk or call 01-4358330 28

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Arts & Culture exciting writing career.” Onuzo is the latest of a new generation of talented young Nigerian writers, many of them female, who have made their mark in the literary world in the past few years. They include Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie who won the 2007 Orange Prize for Fiction for “Half of A Yellow Sun;” and Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani, published her first novel, “I Do Not Come To You By Chance,” last year, which has also garnered several awards, including the Commonwealth Writers Prize. Nigeria has a rich literary tradition spanning the 50 years since its independence, including one Nobel Prize for Literature, one Man Booker Prize winner, one Man Booker International Prize, one Orange Prize winner, and three winners of the Caine Prize for African Writing, which is often described as the “African Booker.” It is an impressive haul, even for Africa’s most populous country with a population of 150 million, but according to those in the know, it is just the beginning. Publishers and writers say there is an explosion of young Nigerian writers about to gain even more international recognition.

Chimamanda Adichie

Jeremy Weate, a British man who set up Cassava Republic publishing company in Abuja in 2007 with his Nigerian wife Bibi Bakare-Yusuf, said: “This is a very exciting time and the best of Nigerian writing is still ahead. “There is some awareness overseas of Nigerian authors and an increasing number of Nigerians winning awards, but we believe this is just the beginning. There is still a huge amount of undiscovered and up-and-coming talent in Nigeria.” Helon Habila, who won the Caine Prize for his novel “Waiting for an Angel,” told CNN: “My generation has been very fortunate. The return to democracy in [in Nigeria] the last 10 or 12 years has brought people more freedom to express themselves and to travel, and opportunities for publishing and writing workshops that have encouraged creativity. There was active suppression of these things until the late 1990s.

Helon Habila

“There are going to be even more brilliant young writers coming through in the next few years. Whenever I go home I see the incredible enthusiasm and hunger of young writers. They have seen us succeed, so they know it’s possible.”

Most successful writers have moved away from Nigeria, some leaving when they were very young. If writers of Nigerian parentage, born elsewhere, were counted the list of success stories would be even longer. Lizzy Attree, expert in African literature and consultant to the Caine Prize for African Literature, said: “Nigeria has a rich literary tradition and at certain points it has come particularly to the world’s attention. “The first wave was in the 1960s after independence with writers like Chinua Achebe, and then a new wave has emerged in the last few years with the likes of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Some second and third generation Nigerians in the West have also made links back home and brought their stories to a younger generation.” Or, as Onuzo puts it simply: “There’s something in the water in Nigeria. I guess we just have a lot of interesting stories to tell.”

Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani

NOVEMBER 2010

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All Stars

For Children Ages 6 - 12 Parent’s Section

Children’s Section

We are still talking about learning. There are some thoughts that can disturb your learning. These thoughts could be • I don’t want to fail • I don’t see the point • I don’t want to try, it is too difficult • I don’t want to try again- I tried before and it did not work • I need help. I cannot do it alone Which of these statements above have come across your mind? Are any of these statements familiar to you?

There are ways you can handle this. One important way to go about it is to talk to an adult about how you are feeling. Try talking to your parents. Perhaps you feel they cannot really understand. In that case, then try talking to an adult who is close to you and will listen to you. You could try talking to a favourite aunt or uncle, or you can try your teacher or grandparent. Tell the adult just how you feel. There is absolutely nothing to feel bad about. Even adults have “periods of stress” when they are all confused and need someone to talk to. If you keep all your muddled thoughts in your head they can

Freaky Facts

An octopus has three hearts Bees have five eyes Butterflies taste with their feet

actually make you sick. Your head can start to hurt. It is important to have someone older or wiser to listen to you and help you sort out all the tangled and jumbled thoughts in your head. It is important you pick an older person to talk to. There really is no point telling your friend because it is unlikely your friend can do very much to help you. Your friend can feel sorry for you but that can only make two sad people and that sure isn’t a lot of help. Remember there is a solution to every single problem. You might just need someone to help you find the answer.

Children sometimes can have some difficulty in learning. This could be due to or lead to “periods of stress”. It really does not matter whether the cause of the stress is real or imagined (all in the mind). The human brain is designed to deal with the stress cause, real or imagined in the same way. Here are a few suggestions to handle your child’s stress. • Identify what is causing stress. Is it a real threat or one that is imaginary? • Do keep from showing your anxieties. • Keep your stress away from your children. These are periods when you are undergoing stress. Your stress could be very real indeed, whether financial (shortage of funds) or emotional (loss of a loved one or fear of a loss of a loved one, a shaky relationship or a divorce or a separation) or professional (fear of job loss or a job loss). Try to avoid from transferring your stress to your children. If you are tense and frustrated, your child will pick it up and “mimic” your stress. As difficult as this may sound, it would be quite advisable to make your child your “stress blocker”. During these bumpy periods, make a conscious effort to relax with your children. Plan to be with them, mentally drop your stress load at the door before you get in to your children. Mentally plan to be with them and then do it. As simplistic as it sounds, talk to your children and do something they would enjoy, throw yourself into it and SURPRISE! You might actually have fun. • Talk your child through the imagined or real threat and help your child to reach a decision that will help deal with the threat. If it’s a physical threat take active steps to reduce it. • Do not be your child’s stress. Do not put too much on your child. Challenge your child to do the best but give allowances when your child falls short which inevitably will happen. Encourage your child during this time. Do not berate your child. • Through it all do not over protect your child. The aim of assisting your child is not to completely keep your child in a bubble. The aim is to give your child coping strategies for “periods of stress” and not to put undue stress on your child.

Tayo Olarewaju is the Director of Delightsome Land School, a nursery and primary school in Victoria Island Lagos. She studied Accounting and Educational Leadership and Management. She has been working with children for over a decade. She is passionate about children, enjoys reading and writing and chocolate biscuits. She is married with 3 stars aged between 6 and 12 years and a dog named Scratch. If you would like to be a part of the All stars team Send your name, date of birth and your phone number (or your mums or dad’s phone no) to 0708 469 9955 or ask your mum or dad to send it by email to delightsomeland@yahoo.com

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NOVEMBER 2010

PreSchooler activities for Preschool Children from Age 2-5

VICTORIA TANDOH

The Number 9

9 Count the number of grapes in each bunch, touching each grape as you say the number. Draw a line from the number 9 to the bunches with 9 grapes.

Housework As they near 2 years, some children start to love the idea of cooking and cleaning. Give your toddler a cloth or duster so he can copy your actions as you clean. • Your toddler might enjoy ‘dusting’ low surfaces. • Encourage your toddler to help you empty the washing or put clothes away in drawers. • You could make a toy cooker/oven out of a cardboard box so your toddler can pretend to cook on it.

More worksheets at: education.com/worksheets

Book Time Encourage your toddler to point at the pictures in books. There are various ways you can build books into your toddler’s daily routine, from leaving books in his bed in the morning to read bedtime stories at night. • Keep your toddler’s books on a low shelf or in a box on the floor, so your toddler can access them whenever he wants. • Encourage your toddler to choose the book he’d like to read with you. • Let your toddler turn the pages if he wants to and don’t worry if he loses interest after a few pages, just leave it for another day. • Try taking your toddler to a library to borrow books too. NOVEMBER 2010

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Sports The Dawn of a New Era Kunle Michael

hey are the most glamorous club side in the world, unarguably the most successful in Spanish and European football. In the early 2000, they ignited and painted Europe and Spain red with ecstasy, excitement and inexplicable passion that characterizes the game of football. They had amazing and uncommon talented players with immense personal awards and accolades to their honors. They produced the era of the Galati cos, a set of the best players in all departments of football that sent shivers to the spines of their opponents. Almighty Real Madrid, as fondly called by admirers and pundits have been shadows of their old selves after clinching the most prestigious and money spinning UEFA Champions League eight years ago. However, it appears the dawn of a new era for Real Madrid has arrived with the genius and Portuguese sensation, Jose Mourinho pitching tent with them. Obviously and indisputably, Jose has magical winning touches everywhere he goes. Hated by enemies, admired by fans and targeted by opponents, he always wins. With the likes of German midfield guru Mesut Ozil, pacy and skillful Christian Ronaldo, left footed and dangerous Argentine international Angel di Maria, tireless old war horse Ricardo Calval Loard and razor sharp attacker Gonzalo Hidguin, all on the

payroll of Real Madrid and under the coaching capacity of Mourinho, Real Madrid are strongly positioned to stop the dominance of Barcelona in Spain and to also breakthrough on the continental stage. “Success for me is that within four years of my contract, to stop the dominance of Barcelona and win the Champions league for Madrid the tenth time

Jose Mourinho

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NOVEMBER 2010

because it belongs here”. This was Mourinho’s comment when he took charge of Real Madrid during the summer transfer window. Manu a football follower knows him as boastful but performing all the same. This new era under Jose Mourinho promises to be the resuscitation of the slumbering giants. Almighty Real Madrid will be hunting for glory in Spain and Europe and the world at large.

Sports The Nigeria Football Federation of my Dreams Tolu Ifekoya

have a dream like Martin Luther King Junior once had, That the Nigeria Football Federation would be an organisation that would be the reference point for good leadership, A federation were its financial dealings would be as transparent as the glass that adorns its building, A place where money doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get missing in the safe, Where the interests of national teams come first and not that of board members, Where people knowledgeable in football management run it and not people whose only experience is the football they played on dirt roads. I have a dream that the federation would have lead-

ers whose parameters for appointing coaches is their capability and ability to develop Nigeriaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s football And not for the kickback they can get. A federation where the head need not be the godson of a football king pin, who has no manifesto of any sort. I have a dream that the NFF would see to the well being of its young players, Give good legal guidance, in other to prevent them from signing career killing contracts. I have a dream that the NFF would respond timely to inquiries from foreign clubs about players, without charging the latter millions of naira for a duty they are paid for.

I have a dream that the NFF would organise quality friendly matches on International free days, A federation where players welfare is paramount, where they are not owed match allowances and bonuses, and their lives are not put in jeopardy by the use of faulty planes for transportation to and from matches, Where the team list for a match is not decided by whose god father is God, and how much bribe they can give. I have a dream that one day the NFF will rise up and live up to the true meaning of its name.

Creche Playgroup Nursery Grade School After School Care Mobile Creches Consultancy Training & Workshops

from home y a w a e m o ... H

...excellence through Christ 26, Mabinuori Dawodu, Gbagada Phase 1, Lagos Telephone: 01-8934834, 01-8113816, 08033117630

NOVEMBER 2010

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Dabar

Insights for Christian Living

12 Reasons why we must Trust in GOD Victoria Abrahams

ave you ever had an issue with “Trusting in GOD” or am I the only one with that problem? For a while now I have only trusted in God with regards to the big issues like health related and life threatening matters that are beyond me. I kind of trust God only when there is nothing else that can be done sort of like when you no longer know what else to do? So I am at a point in my life where I am reawakened.

existence. After thinking through the whole matter of whether God can be trusted or not, I came to the conclusion that He alone can and must be trusted. Not to trust in God is to trust in a man, which is the accruement of a curse upon the head of any man who makes the arm of flesh his strength.

I have had to suddenly relearn the art and act of trusting God with everything. I must trust God with the big stuff, the mundane, the silly, the simple and the difficult. It’s easy to trust yourself, trust your husband/wife, trust your siblings and anyone else that you can see. We all know that God exists, but do we really trust Him

We must not only trust in God in good times but also in the times of adversity and difficult challenges. I have found in the Holy Writ, 12 strong reasons why we must trust in God.

Can God be trusted at all with all the global melt down and economic downturns, earth quakes and tsunamis, and the perennial melee that plagues our world? Why are things seemingly getting worse? Why are we more depressed and have to fight one scourge or the other? Why are we knowing more and getting less from our knowledge? Why are we fighting senseless wars and loosing fine men and women in these wars? Why does peace elude us in our world? Where is God in all of these? Can God be trusted in the 21st Century? Is God on holiday? Has He resigned or retired from his position as God? Has God left us to figure it all out by ourselves since we claim to know so much? Is God in the Church? Is God still in control of the world’s affairs or has God lost control? These and more are the questions that go through my mind but I realize that we only ask questions when things are not working our way, and when things stop working our way once we miss the mark, which explains why we need to look inward and judge our actions and find our paths back to God. God is the reason why we can still make sense out of our

1. God is the creator of heaven and the earth and everything in between heaven and earth, Genesis 1.1/31 2. God is the owner and possessor of all things, kingdoms, thrones, queens and kings, commoners; everything belongs to God, Psalm 24. 3. God is the owner of all the silver and all the gold. Haggai 2:8 4. God can do anything He decides to do whenever He decides to do it. Jeremiah 32:27 5. God sees far and near, and He fills everything in heaven and on earth. Jeremiah 23:23/24. 6. God loves man and He gave his highest and best through his son; Jesus Christ. If He gave so much, then who better to trust than Him? John 3:16. 7. God’s counsel always stands even when we make our own ways as mere men. Proverbs 16:9, Proverbs 19:21. 8. God is Alpha and Omega; He is the beginning and the end. Revelations 22:13. 9. God never fails because love never fails and God is love. 1 Corinthians 13:8a

10. God desires that all his children prosper and be in health always, this is one of God’s biggest desires after salvation; who best then to trust than God Himself? 3John2. 11. God’s thoughts for his creations are for good and never for evil; to give us a future and a hope. Whenever God thinks of us, He thinks only good and never evil. Should we not trust in this God? Jeremiah 29:11 12. God commands that we trust only in Him and not in any man. God realizes that man is frail and his every thought is continually evil when he is not regenerated, so God commands that we trust only in Him, so that we will not be disappointed and so that we do not come under the curse. As a human being seeking for God’s hands and face in my affairs, I must learn to trust not in the government, in institutions, the family, and friends but to put my trust only in the living God. Everything that can be shaken will be shaken and so there is no other and better time than now to trust. I am talking about knowing and trusting God for who He is and for what He can do. So we must commit ourselves to relearning the art and act of trusting. To trust is to rely upon. To trust is to depend upon. To trust is to have confidence in something and someone. Is God trustworthy? Is God dependable? Is God faithful? Is God true? If your answers are yes to all these questions, then please put your trust in God Almighty alone.

Dabar - Insights for Christian Living The Dabar column is about Christian living. This column is going to deal with real life issues that Christians face in day to day living and the Biblical perspective on these issues with a real life approach to such situations. We will also use this column as a forum to discuss issues affecting Christianity as a whole. As such, letters with issues which can be discussed should be sent to timelesscourage@yahoo.co.uk. Issues to be discussed in the column will be chosen from letters sent in by you our readers. We look forward to hearing from you so we can start treating these issues from next month. Thank you. 34

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Viewpoint

The Shamelessness of Our Leaders Gabriel Akinlade-Daniel

“How a leader deals with the circumstances of life tells you a lot about their character. Crisis doesn’t necessarily make character, but it certainly does reveal it...” John Maxwell in Leadership Promises The media in the past few months has been awashed by stories of the unbecoming behaviours of public officers and our so-called leaders. If it is not on corruption, it will be pettiness in commissioning of public infrastructures or the public display of self-aggrandisement of our political leaders in the public domain. As a Nigerian, this writer was recently scandalised by the lack of good examples of our leaders in public places, which has become a great embarrassment to young people in the country. Some months ago, members of the Nigerian House of Representatives displayed a very “unrepresentative act” when some members of the house engaged the Speaker Dimeji Bankole and his supporters in a “roforofo” fight over an attempt to make the leadership of the house accountable over alleged corruption by the house leadership. The resistance of the house leadership led to the public show of shame in the presence of little children who had come to witness legislative proceedings. But unfortunately, these children were shocked to their marrow when they saw these “dishonourable men and women” engaging themselves in a dogfight that sent the children scampering for safety. While the dusts raised by that episode was yet to settled, there comes another face-off between Bankole and his state governor, Otunba Gbenga Daniel in what people has called “power show” over the commissioning of a road that was not yet completed. Even though the two gladiators had been at each other’s throat for some time now, the commissioning of Ota Bridge was not the best place to show self-aggrandisement. In the presence of the young ones, market women and the Minister of Works who was in attendance. Daniel and Bankole belong to the

same party and what the two are fighting over seems to be known only to them, but for a distant observer like this writer, the shamelessness of these Ogun indigenes is become a recurring decimal that the leaders of PDP both in Ogun and at Wadata House should be concerned about or else the self-styled biggest party in Africa will be on its way out in Ogun State. The pettiness of Daniel and Bankole can be likened to Agbero and Danfo drivers’ altercation because it is only Agbero and Danfo drivers on Lagos roads that throw decency to the pigs ready to do whatever they want. They don’t care whose ox is gored because for them they have nothing at stake. But in the case of Daniel and Bankole, shall we say they have nothing at stake as leaders of this country to have gone as low as fighting one another over what does not really make sense to Nigerians? Why fight over a project that in itself has become a national embarrassment? After all, this was a project awarded over five years that has not yet been completed yet our leaders are fighting over a portion to be commissioned. What happened between pro-Bankole and anti-Bankole forces in the House of Representatives and the Ota Bridge saga only shows that we have no leaders in Nigeria. It only shows that our leaders do not care about us. Have they forgotten that when two elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers? Today members of the National Assembly are busy increasing their constituency allowances and salaries yet they do not care about education, infrastructural development, health, justice, good roads and the like. Why were they fighting in the first place? It is because of corruption and

the big appetite for public funds rather than making laws for good governance of the country, they are only interested in sharing the so called national cake. It is trite that in Nigeria, instead of our leaders thinking of how to better the lot of the ordinary man and deliver the dividends of democracy, they are only interested in mundane things. The dog fight between our national leaders is not only a very bad example but demonstrates bad character. If their attitude is right, even in crisis situations, they will behave like good people and gentlemen. By doing so, they will not only be showing good example but would have justified their position as leaders. One thing that must be clear is that character is what makes the difference and that is what differentiates a fool from a wise man. Without good character, a leader is no different from a thug on the streets of Lagos. These leaders of today must know that they are on earth to work for the good of humanity. They should endeavour to write their names in the sands of time like Chief Obafemi Awolowo, Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe, Sir Ahmadu Bello, Sir Herbert Macaulay etc. As Nobel Prize winning author Alexander Solzhenitsyn said, “The meaning of earthly existence lies, not as we have grown used to thinking, in prospering, but in the development of the soul.” The development of character is at the heart of our development, not just as leaders, but as human beings. Gabriel Oyevesho Akinlade-Daniel, is Pastor-in-Charge of RCCG, Gate of Heaven Parish, Orile-Iganmu, Lagos. E -mail: jesukeveshome@yahoo.com.

Purging our System Taul Paul Oselen So many times we hear people utter statements like, ‘’if only we had better leaders’’ or ‘’this government is so corrupt’’ or ‘’our rulers are very wicked’’ and so on. Such statements litter our media, our streets and our market places. Taking a deeper look at the Nigerian plight, I could arrive at only one conclusion: which is, since the government is not made up of foreigners but Nigerians like you and me, then our leaders must be products of a prevailing system in the country. Permit me to say that this system gave birth to most of us also and if the opportunity were to present itself, we might walk the same paths as our present leaders. Every Nigerian is born into this system. It is a system that makes us believe that what is available is not enough to go round so we automatically become defensive, untrusting, discriminating, breeders of unhealthy rivalry. It is a system that preaches transparency but openly celebrates corruption. It is a system that speaks of fairness and equal rights but upholds only favourable judicial rulings and enforces selective discipline. It is a system that teaches the dignity of labour but underpays and sometimes fails to pay the salaries of those who dedicate their hours and energy to pro-

duce the nation’s wealth. It also falls short on the payment of the pensions of the retired workers who served this nation wholeheartedly through their active years giving room for regrets and heaping of curses on a nation they worked hard and sweated to build. It is a system that preaches selfless service but rewards excessively the few elected and appointed “servants” and spreads the remnants amongst the rest of the country. Sadly, this is the system in which we were brought up. Many Nigerians have come to hate this system, and rightly so. We clamour for a change but our hate has not enough of a will to change this world. The change we seek as a people must be founded on love; our love for Nigeria. We, the people must initiate this change. If we seek a new Nigeria then we must be ready, indeed willing to purge out this system and deliberately take into ourselves the ideals that shall produce in us a new way of life, a new way of thinking, a new Nigerian system. A new system established on unchanging principles such as trust, fairness, equity, oneness, empathy, service and justice. It is a system that thrives on patriotism and where

each Nigerian is held accountable for his actions or inactions. It is a system where the Nigerian is taught to become responsible for his fellow Nigerian. It is a system that fuels a culture of doing the right thing because it is the right thing to be done not only when it is convenient or profitable. It is a system that programs the young Nigerian child to know he has something good and valuable to offer his generation and helps him develop his potential. It is a system where every Nigerian is given equal opportunity to benefit and contribute to the growth and development of the nation. It is a new era, which overwhelmingly shows that the only things that bind us as a nation are freedom, peace and unity. This shift from the old to the new way of living is the process that will birth to the new Nigeria which we all desire. The journey ahead will be tough and long, full of obstacles and resistance but I am certain that our commitment to change and our love for a better Nigeria for the coming generations is stronger and greater than any challenge we may face. It is time to arise and pull down the old order by erecting the new.

NOVEMBER 2010

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Podium

How Indonesia overtook Nigeria By Peter Cunliffe-Jones Focus on Africa Magazine

From the air, the place certainly looked familiar. I had never before been to Jakarta, the chaotic and teeming capital of the sprawling Indonesian archipelago. But, as the plane dodged in and out between the clouds, there it lay below. And just as I had been told it would, it looked like my former home, Nigeria.

smart, modern Asian city, now two hours behind me to the north. I’d just been appointed Asia editor for the AFP news agency, after four years as its Nigeria bureau chief.

“Indonesia and Nigeria?” I’d protested to the friend who first suggested the comparison to me some weeks earlier. “They’re 7,000 miles apart. One’s Africa, one’s Asia. There’s no comparison to make.”

Lagos, my former home, is Africa’s megacity, the country’s hustling, bustling, trading capital. It is noisy, sometimes violent but pulsing with life. From its crowded waterfront districts to the low-rise slums inland, it hums with activity; people making deals, making money, taking a chance and just getting by.

It was late 2003, and I was flying in from Singapore, a

Looking down out of the plane’s window, I took in the

airport below. “Ok, so it looks like Lagos,” I thought. Then, emerging minutes later from the plane, I settled into my taxi for the long drive into the city centre. When we stopped at a crossroads, crowds of noisy children emerged as they would in Nigeria to hawk their wares, offering us everything from spicy foods to soft drinks, typewriter covers to newspapers. Both Indonesia and Nigeria, my guidebook told me, are the giants of their region, home to tens of millions of people. Both were formed as one nation by Europeans around 1900. Both were governed by the colonial system of “indirect rule”. Both once made money from palm oil, and later discovered oil and gas. At independence, the standards of living in the two countries were comparable on most measures. And since independence, both have suffered three decades of military misrule and corruption. Their first coups were launched within months of each other, in September 1965 in Indonesia and in January 1966 in Nigeria, and their military regimes died within 12 months, in May 1998 and 1999. It was not only my friend who made the comparisons. But, talking to the editor of an Indonesian magazine the day after I arrived, I was struck by a statistic he mentioned in passing. In Indonesia, he said, the life expectancy of a child at birth had risen from 45 to 70 years since independence. In 1960, Nigeria produced almost half the world’s palm oil, now it covers just 7% In Nigeria, life expectancy remains stuck just above 45; today it is around 47. This prompted me to check other figures. When Indonesia’s second president, Haji Muhammad Suharto, took power in 1967 the number of people living in poverty was the same as in Nigeria; around six out of ten. Three decades later, it had fallen from six to two. In Nigeria it had risen from six to seven. And today, Indonesia lies almost 50 places above Nigeria on the United Nation’s Human Development Index. Adult literacy stands at 92%, 20 points better than Nigeria. Per capita income, at close to $4,000, is almost twice that of Nigeria. Basic healthcare is strikingly better in Indonesia, and the same is true for education. Access to clean water and a good balanced diet are better too. Certainly, Indonesia has many troubles. But today, for all its problems, Indonesia is holding elections that the world applauds, while Nigeria’s last elections, in 2007, were said to be the worst in Africa that year. So why the discrepancy? The reasons most commonly given for the trouble with Nigeria, for its failure to meet its enormous potential as an African giant are many and complex. They range from the legacy of colonial rule to the problems of a divided nation, and the impact of the so-called oil curse.

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NOVEMBER 2010

Podium

Nigeria and Indonesia in figures Life expectancy Nigeria: Men, 47. Women, 48 Indonesia: Men, 69. Women, 73 Gross national income, per capita Nigeria: $1,160 Indonesia: $2,010 Gross domestic product Nigeria: $207.12 billion Indonesia: $510.73 billion Population below poverty line Nigeria: 70% Indonesia: 17.8% Nigeria was formed by Britain as two separate protectorates in 1900, and brought together as one in 1914. Its close to 150 million people speak numerous languages, follow two major world religions and many more indigenous beliefs. My own grandfather first arrived in Nigeria in the colonial days in 1928. Over the years, he rose to be part of the team negotiating independence in the 1950s. The way he and his colleagues framed the constitution probably set the country on the path to civil war. But the comparison with formerly Dutch-ruled Indonesia shows that colonial rule is not reason enough to explain the state of things today. Nor is a fractured society when a country as diverse as Indonesia can do as well as it has. And nor is oil, for Indonesia has that too but has managed its resource relatively well.

So what explains the difference between them? I asked a friend, Bambang Harymurti, an Indonesian journalist. “Struggle is the reason,” he suggested. Though the regime struck out at those who opposed it, Indonesians had put their leaders under pressure, he said. While lining his pockets handsomely, amassing a family fortune estimated at up to $35 billion, Indonesia’s Suharto had tasked his economic advisers with keeping him in power. What he feared most was a popular revolt. Since the Dutch first colonised Indonesia, popular movements had always pressured their leaders. In the 1920s, a major revolt had broken out against the Dutch. The revolt failed, but it led to change. Then between 1945 and 1949, the Islamist, communist and nationalist movements that had formed fought a bloody rebellion to force the Japanese and then the Dutch out of the colony. They succeeded. So when Suharto took power in 1965, and though he ruled brutally, he was still fearful of an uprising and had reason to be so. For decades, spurred on by Suharto, the economists ensured the economy grew fast enough to lift millions out of poverty. The army, which bloodily suppressed rebellions in some regions was used to build roads and bring electricity to the poor in the Indonesian heartlands. The economy was diversified and oil money was used to build sectors such as agriculture and fisheries, tourism and manufacturing, to provide jobs and income. Indonesia, which was once a minor player, is today the world’s largest producer of palm oil. And these changes were

made to provide the poor with jobs and income. Nigeria, which in the 1960s produced almost half the world’s palm oil, now accounts for just 7%. And Suharto was right to be fearful. When the economy collapsed in the Asian financial crisis of 1997, popular resistance rose and he was forced from power. The new rulers took note and the economy is growing again. And in Nigeria? In Nigeria, feisty, fractious, exhilarating Nigeria, rebels in the Delta have staged attacks on oil wells. Artists such as Fela Kuti and Wole Soyinka have railed at injustice. Civil rights groups have staged protests. But if the songs and plays have been popular, the protests have, by and large, been attended by hundreds not tens of thousands. So in Nigeria, leaders fear being usurped by each other and not ousted by a popular revolt. And they do not make things change. “What I realised,” Chukwudifu Oputa, the retired Supreme Court Justice selected in 1999 to look into human rights abuses under the military, told me one day, “is we have not fought, not really, or not enough. And if you do not fight for your rights, nobody will fight for you.” Nigerians fight every day, of course. They fight for survival, to put food on the table and to get by. But have they put real pressure on their leaders? If not, is that the reason, I wonder, that the average Nigerian lives to 47, and the average Indonesian to 70? My Nigeria: Five decades of independence, by Peter Cunliffe-Jones was published last month by Palgrave Macmillan

NOVEMBER 2010

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Random Musings with Ayodeji Jeremiah

ables us to be able to manage and cope with the blessings of God in our lives and use such blessings appropriately. Most importantly, it opens and conditions our mind to the fact that wealth is just a tool in our hands, which we are to use to achieve God’s purposes. We cannot take this wealth with us when we die. Our lives are not measured by what we have or what we are able to acquire or even how wealthy we are able to live but by how we have been able to touch lives positively and the legacy that we are able to live for generations. Understanding and living by the principles below, whatever position you may presently be in life, helps you live a blessed, healthy, long and fulfilling life.

It is God’s absolute will for man to be blessed. 3 John 2 in the Holy Writ testifies of God’s interest in our wellbeing spiritually, physically and materially. However, whether you are Christian, Jew or Muslim or even atheist, male or female, young or old, while it is God’s will for every human being to be blessed, there are some principles we have to live by. Certain things we must do and certain things we must not do. These so called life laws or principles have nothing to do with religion. We live in a moral world created by a moral being. These principles have to do with understanding right and wrong especially as it relates to wealth and money. The book of Proverbs in the Bible is a collection of moral and religious maxims or what some people will call wisdom nuggets containing instructions concerning right living. Several subjects are discussed in the book including the issue of wealth. Twenty-nine out of the thirty-one chapters of the book were written by Solomon whom the Bible describes as follows, “Thus King Solomon excelled all the kings of the earth in riches and in wisdom” (1 Kings 10:23). Out of the godly given counsels of this wise and wealthy man, I have selected thirteen principles pertaining to wealth, which are listed below. Knowing these principles, understanding them and following them equips us to be able to come into that dimension of blessing that God has destined for us. It en38

TIMELESS

NOVEMBER 2010

(1) Find wisdom and get understanding: The difference between wealth and poverty is wisdom - Mike Murdock. This is one reason why wealth does not last for several generations. The children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren who inherit the wealth do not have the wisdom or understanding to preserve it. (2) Honour God with your wealth: God is not moved by need but by seed. God is aware of your present need. What you want to keep is only a seed. God will never ask for something you don’t have. If you can’t release what you have, you can’t have what He has. God will always ask for something you want to keep in order to set you up so that He can take you to something that you never had.- Matthew Ashimolowo. No matter how rich or powerful you are, giving honour to God is of paramount importance. Do not be mislead by wishful thinking or foolish thinking that God has nothing to do with how blessed you are. Remember that there are others who have done the same thing you have done and worked as hard and are not where you are. (3) Learn to give: Choose rather to want less than to have more - Thomas a’Kempis. No matter how wealthy you are, you will die one day and you cannot take the wealth with you. (4) Live righteously: The key to ruling and reigning over circumstances in your life is the gift of righteousness - Creflo Dollar. You cannot live an immoral life and expect troubles not to come in twos and threes. (5) Forsake lust and adultery: The measure of a man’s real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out - Thomas B. Macaulay. What would you do for money? Sell your soul? Sleep with your Father-in-law? (6) Don’t enter into contracts that you don’t understand: Never go into businesses you don’t un-

derstand. Mind your business. Do only things you know and understand. Sign proper agreements and contracts. If something looks too good to be true, then it is too good to be true. (7) Get rid of laziness: If you don’t start changing your attitude you may miss your altitude - T.D. Jakes. If you are lazy, there is no way you can manage wealth properly. You can’t earn it in the first place and when it is given to you, you misuse it. (8) Don’t do wrong or wicked things to make money: Anybody who thinks he can cheat a moral God in a moral universe is a moral imbecile!- Selwyn Hughes. The money made from wicked acts usually develops wings very quickly. (9) Understand that wealth is a means of protection: Wealth can sometimes protect from trouble, while poverty is a liability, which exposes one to misfortune - Charles Caldwell Ryrie. (10) Don’t love pleasures and reduce liabilities: Life is not to be measured by what you are able to buy but what you are able to leave for generations -Matthew Ashimolowo. A life of pleasures and immediate gratification only leads to future poverty. Our bankers are good examples of this. Many who have lost their jobs due to the economic downturn and banking reforms are finding it difficult to adjust their lifestyles. (11) Get advice from others: Sincerely sitting in a railway carriage and believing you are on the right train won’t get you to your destination if it is actually the wrong train - Billy Graham. Always seek advice from wise, godly people when taking important decisions on the issue of money and investments. Do not follow the crowd.

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