April 2020
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inside THIS ISSUE
8 Freshening Up
Dr. Andrew Wolin’s skin care line unveils everyone’s natural beauty
Are medical decisions and advanced directives becoming confusing? A Holistic Practitioner can help!
Learn more at
Opinion
6
Leibo At Large
6
Ask Gabby Gayle
Features
10
Life Makeover
12
Pouring His Heart Out
11
School’s in Session
15
No One Escapes Coronavirus
Ahwatukee attorney Brian Foster finds happiness Senior Living Center offers Spring Education Enrichment Series
GracefulDepartures.com
Ahwatukee inventor is saving businesses—and consumers—money Time is of the essence for Graceful Departures
Travel
If you’re wondering if it’s time for assisted care living... it’s time.
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Pilgrimages: Places I Will Remember
Dining
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Made with Love
Scottsdale is enamored with Agapi Pita
Columns
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Opinion
Ask Gabby Gayle
Watch out for dating site scammers
Leibo At Large
Holocaust survivor’s book applies in these times BY DAVID LEIBOWITZ The memoir will feel slight in your hands, only 165 pages long. Even so, for sheer insight per page, “Man’s Search For Meaning” has no rival among books written in the last 100 years. It is the story of Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist from Vienna, and how he survived the Nazi death camps. It is a tale of extreme struggle, despair, loss, grief and the many ways in which life can challenge us. In other words, a perfect book for life in the face of COVID-19. I first read Frankl’s book while slogging through the crash of a marriage in my early 30s. The end of that relationship left me bitter, ashamed and feeling toxic daily. Reading about the victims of Auschwitz and their suffering provided some much-needed perspective. The Nazis took away everything Frankl valued: his wife, his mother, his father, his brother, his possessions, everything down to the manuscript he considered his life’s work. What they could not steal was what Frankl describes as “the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Over the years, that quote has crossed my mind thousands of times: at the bedside of my mother as she wasted away in the hospital; in the face of professional disappointments and losses that made me angry, frustrated or despondent; while driving along the freeway and getting cut off by a moron; and over this past week, dealing with the fallout of the coronavirus outbreak. There’s liberation in the idea: that ultimately we all get to choose our own attitude, no matter what happens around us or to us, no matter how life tests us. Of course, Frankl wasn’t done dispensing wisdom with one quote, which is why I have read his book at least once a year since the first time I picked it up. He writes eloquently about surviving
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the icy cold march to a work site by fixing his imagination upon the face of his wife as he stumbled along for miles. Her face, he explains, allowed him to grasp “the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief” hold for us. “The salvation of man,” Frankl writes, “is through love and in love.” Re-reading the book again over the past few days, I found myself thinking, of all things, about a spat I witnessed in the grocery store: a grown man threatening an elderly woman for adding what he believed to be too many cans of soup to her shopping cart. Profanities flew. The old woman gave as good as she got. Eventually they went off in separate directions, trailing f-bombs in their wake, but not before the man delivered this pearl. “B---h, you’ll be dead soon enough anyways.” Frankl, whose book covers far greater deprivation than a lack of Campbell’s chicken noodle in a can, writes with insight about suffering and how it can lead us to find meaning in our lives. Suffering pushes us to live in one of two ways, he writes. “(We) may remain brave, dignified and unselfish. Or in the bitter fight for self-preservation he may forget his human dignity and become no more than an animal.” For Frankl, finding meaning in life is the ultimate goal. Twice he quotes Nietzsche on the subject: “He who has a ‘why’ to live for can bear almost any ‘how.’” My thought: If the COVID-19 crisis tests us in the most profound ways, you’ll be glad you read the book. If not and I’m just being overly dramatic, you’ll be glad anyways. There are far worse ways to spend a couple hours in quarantine. David Leibowitz has called the Valley home since 1995. Contact david@leibowitzsolo.com.
BY GAYLE LAGMAN-CRESWICK
Q
Dear Gabby Gayle: As a widow and nearly 73, I would like to try a safe dating site. Although I am healthy and very active, I find it very difficult to meet men. It’s been six years since I lost my beloved. Any advice? Signed, JMGH
A
Dear JMGH: While I cannot recommend a specific dating site, I would like to give cautionary advice. I believe there are scammers trying to invade every dating site. I have heard from readers who have found them on many sites. I myself have met several would-be scammers. They are everywhere. While I was doing a speaking engagement, a gentleman told me that his mother had been scammed out of $17,000 by her online lover. I even found a would-be scammer on my online game “Words with Friends.” There are romantic scammers everywhere, trying to take advantage of a person’s loneliness and lack of male attention. I have not heard from one man who was scammed, although I believe they are out there. When you decide on a dating site, do not give out your email address or telephone number, never send them money and stick to local people. If they won’t meet you in a public place for coffee, they are probably a scammer. Do not accept a friend on Facebook whom you do not know. There is one very common romantic scammer: They claim to be a doctor working for the United States in a Middle Eastern country. They are widowed with a teenage child usually in a boarding school somewhere. I have been collecting the different scenarios for a book and they are plentiful. They really know how to sweettalk lonely women who are their main targets. Thank you for letting me use your letter as a way to reach others who may be targets! Good luck! GG
Q
Dear Gabby Gayle: My friend volunteers at a home for boys that caters to gay and transgender kids. I told her she is putting her stamp of approval on their behavior by helping them. What
do you think? Signed, MG
A
Dear MG: I have a feeling this letter is from someone who knows I volunteer at such a home. However, I choose to answer it because there are others who probably feel the same way! First of all, being gay or transgender is not a behavior, it is the way you are wired. Second, I operate on the assumption that there was never born a person who was meant to be loved less than any other. Third, I have not been appointed judge of any person. Signed, GG
Q
Dear Gabby Gayle: My dad is going through his second childhood, I think. He got on one of those dating sites and found a woman he says he loves. He is 80 years old! She is 82. Now they want to get married and my sister and I are in a state of shock. Our brothers don’t see anything wrong with it. My dad has been a widower for 10 years and got along just fine. Could it be that he is getting dementia? Please advise. Signed, GH and PH
A
Dear GH and PH: It seems to be a common thread for adult children to think their elderly parents have lost their minds if the parent finds love at a late age. That is a mystery to me. Love does not have an age limit! When I worked in a retirement community, we had a couple who married at 95. They were a beautiful couple and would invite me to their monthly anniversary party. They would tell me: “At our age we celebrate our anniversary by the month!” Love can heal ailments, I believe. Love makes aging way more pleasant. While love of family is wonderful, it does not compare with romantic love. Romantic love can be the difference in what makes you want to get up in the morning! I hope that you can rejoice in your dad’s finding a new love. Embrace it. He deserves to be happy. Don’t you think? Good luck! GG If you have a question for Gabby Gayle, please send to: lagmancreswick@gmail.com
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Features
Freshening
UP
Dr. Andrew Wolin creates a skin care line to unveil everyone’s natural beauty
BY JORDAN HOUSTON
It’s no secret that Arizona weather can wreak havoc on your skin. Even the most diligent of skin care warriors can fall victim to the desert’s harsh climate—whether it’s from the sun’s blistering rays or unforgiving dry air. Finding a good skin care routine, especially one that promotes skin growth, is just as important as brushing your teeth, says Scottsdale-based plastic surgeon Dr. Andrew Wolin. And that’s exactly why the double board-certified surgeon created his own skin care line last year. “It’s for anyone who lives in this harsh environment,” Wolin tells Lovin’ Life After 50. “This is for anyone who wants to keep their skin as healthy as possible.” Wolin’s line features everything from lip serums to facial cleansers, but the real selling point is his skin-building products. The game-changing products, which require one-on-one consultations prior to treatment, stimulate the growth of new, healthy skin and work to seal and shield skin from toxic environmental factors. “This is your facial clothing,” Wolin says. “It builds and protects your skin, and that’s what you need.” Healthy skin is like a cobbled path, he explains. Skin cells are held together through natural oils that fill the gaps between cells, forming the skin’s natural protection barrier and keeping moisture in and irritants out. Wolin’s line offers clients customizable, medical-grade skin-building products that “crack the code of skin renewal,” his website claims. The products include a barrier enhancement agent, individualized retinoid, natural antioxidants and natural plant-based anti-pigment
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preparations. They feature formulated compounds for each patient’s unique needs to help invigorate and plump skin for a healthier, more youthful look. “Everything I’ve Dr. Andrew Wolin, a Scottsdale-based plastic surgeon, recently unveiled his line of skin care products. (LLAF photos by Chris Mortenson) got is a treatment,” prior consultation with Wolin to detertary components remove age spots. Wolin shares. “It’s not The lactic acid provides an AHA com- mine whether an interested client is a a paint or like you’re putting on foundation with a little bit of sunblock. This is a ponent that allows the top layers of dead good fit for treatment. The visit also allows the surgeon to medicine that has to be physician evalu- skin to exfoliate, he continues. The second product is the Luxe Com- gather the necessary information to tailor ated and coordinated.” The Radiance Custom Formula is the plex, a barrier protection compound that the cream to meet the individual’s skin needs. seals and protects the vibrant new skin. workhorse of the products. “It becomes a very customized and perThe complex blocks the loss of water The formula combines a blend of Retin-A; hydroquinone—supplied as ar- from the skin while supplying the vital vi- sonalized treatment for every single person,” Wolin discloses. “I can manipulate a butin, a more easily tolerated pigment tamins of B, C and E . These vitamins, along with specific lot of the meds to fit everybody’s skin. reducer—as well as lactic acid; multiple “I usually start low in terms of retinoids, peptides, function as high-level antioxidants; antioxidants and an- and then I can add more as the patient vitamins A, B, C and E; tries the product.” ti-pigmentary agents. and other pigmentary Wolin performs biweekly check-ins “These are highsuppressants. grade medical products with his patients to determine whether The Retin-A that use no preserva- any changes need to be made to their builds new tives or artificial things,” formula. skin, Wolin he says. As far as inspiration goes, Wolin says explains, by The skin-building his 25-plus years as a plastic surgeon thickening products all require a kick-started the process. the skin’s Wolin spent the last three decades protective sculpting thousands of Arizona faces layer while through his double board certification the antifrom the American Board of Plastic pigmenSurgery and the American Board of Ear, Nose and Throat/Facial Surgery. Over the years, he explains, he learned one thing for certain—patients with the very best outcomes are those who start out with the healthiest skin. “Seven years ago, I started prepping everybody’s face before surwww.LovinLife.com
gery with a group of products that I combined using a pharmacy that would compound them for me,” Wolin says. “I did this for a year, and what was happening is that so many people I would prep would say, ‘My skin is amazing. I can’t get over it. This is great,’” he adds. And just like that, a new conquest to crack the code of skin renewal was born. Using a combination of exclusive medical-grade products, Wolin’s patients reduced recovery time, sped up healing and ultimately enjoyed better-looking results, he shares. “If you don’t build skin, you will not get the same results when you operate on the skin,” he says. “Skin heals better when it’s healthy and when it’s thicker—that’s just the nature of surgery.” Wolin says he realized his concoctions would not only work for those gearing up to go under the knife, but for those wanting to improve the overall health of their skin as well. Since launching his skin care line in December, the feedback he has received has been off the charts, he says gleefully. “We took the best of the best—the most natural stuff we could put together without any preservatives,” Wolin shares. “It’s been amazing. I get calls from people even out of town.” Wolin set up an online store to promote his products that don’t require a prescription, which can be found at sho-
pandrewwolin.com. In terms of pricing for the skin-building products, it differentiates on a client-by-client basis, Wolin says. “It’s very cost effective,” he says. “Pricing varies depending on the products, but it should last two to three months. “I try to make this more easily affordable,” he adds. “Because it’s as much as health as it is aesthetics.” The skin-building products are available inside his office, which is located at 8415 N. Pima Road, Scottsdale. To schedule a consultation, contact Wolin’s office at 480-945-8440 or visit wolinplasticsurgery.com. “This is an integral portion of all facial plastic surgery,” Wolin discloses. “Without incorporating this as a cornerstone to any kind of improvement in health and aesthetics, you’re missing the boat if the provider doesn’t provide this along with that.”
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Life Makeover Ahwatukee attorney Brian Foster finds happiness BY PAUL MARYNIAK Some baby boomers change jobs to jump-start their life. Others go on a diet. Still others find a new place to live. And then there are the footloose and fancy-free ones who decide it’s time settle down with a woman. But any one of those mid-life course corrections wasn’t enough for longtime Ahwatukee resident Brian Foster. So, he did them all. At age 57, the high-powered lawyer bid goodbye to the only law firm he’s worked at since he graduated with distinction from the University of Iowa School of Law. He radically changed his eating habits. He works out more than an hour a day at the Ahwatukee Foothills Family YMCA that he helped found and took up regular prayer and meditation along the way. He put his Tapestry Canyon home on the market and is looking for a place closer to his new Phoenix office after 28 years in Ahwatukee. And he got engaged to his girlfriend, Alina Chu. At the same time, he’s been chairing the Phoenix Sister Cities program at a time when it’s scouring the globe for two new international partners to add to the 10 cities it now has, serving on the Phoenix Aviation Advisory Board and fundraising for Mayor Kate Gallego’s election campaign. Perhaps the most startling decision is his departure from the 450-attorney Phoenix law firm of Snell and Wilmer, where, as a senior litigation partner, he spent just over three decades winning multimillion-dollar verdicts in commercial litigation, trying often complex cases in real estate, partner and shareholder disputes, merger and acquisition fights, disagreements over contracts and other business matters. Now, he has set up a firm with Dennis Wilenchik, a onetime courtroom adversary at times who also has a reputation for big civil verdicts. Foster’s path to a radical makeover of his life and career started last August from a combination of a kind of personal ennui and a personal tragedy. His dad was confronting serious health issues and he decided to take a 30-day leave of absence to care for him and take personal stock of himself. Things snowballed from there, he says. “I decided I’d use that time as an oppor-
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tunity to get myself in the best physical, mental, emotional state that I’d ever been in,” Foster recalls. “So, I originally took a leave thinking I’d be out for 30 days. Well, 30 turned into 60, turned into 90, turned into four months. I developed a daily meditation practice.” He started paying attention to his eating habits, swearing off all sugars, alcohol “and a bunch of other things from my diet.” By the end of last year, he says, “I was hitting on all cylinders like I hadn’t for years. “I don’t know which one of those things or all of them combined was responsible, but the whole package was so great that I was afraid to stop any one of them because that might be the one thing that got me there.” His dad passed away, and as the new year began Foster returned to the firm with a surprise for top management. “They kind of expected me to say, well, you’re refreshed, rejuvenated, ready to go,” he says. Instead, he gave them his notice. Though they weren’t thrilled with the news, Foster says, “They were very supportive of my decision.” In a relatively short amount of time, Wilenchik and he became partners and soon hired 10 associates—and between he and his partner, had no shortage of clients. And with less than two months, Wilenchik and Foster are “churning and burning in Downtown Phoenix,” he says. Less than two months after incorporating, “We’re already at capacity in terms of our office size and need to hire more attorneys because of all the work I’m bringing,” he says. When he’s not helping to run his firm, Foster also has been busy with Sister Cities, many of which have had formal relationships with Phoenix for decades. Right now, he and the other board members, along with Gallego, are literally scanning the globe to identify potential additions. “We’re looking at different cities in different countries right now, ranging from Chile to South Africa, to India,” Foster explains. “We’re doing an analysis of a bunch of the cities within those countries trying to figure out what makes the most sense
Brian Foster and his fiancee, Alina Chu, visited her native Taiwan in October as part of his duties chairing the Phoenix Sister Cities program. (Photo courtesy Brian Foster)
from Phoenix.” While there is considerable background research and phone interviews involved in the process, the final selections won’t come until he and others personally visit the contenders, possibly more than once. But jet-setting around the globe is nothing unusual for Foster in connection with Sister Cities. In October, for example, he co-led a delegation to Taipei in Taiwan. “The Sister Cities portion takes a lot more of my time than the Aviation Board,” he says, partly because “they’ve got a lot of extremely competent staff members in the Aviation Department.” Despite his many outside interests— which includes being president of the Tapestry Canyon HOA board—Foster hasn’t given up on his courtroom practice. As it was at his previous firm, he says, “When somebody hires me, they know that I’ve got a team of people doing the work but they know that I’m the guy if the case goes to trial. “They’re hiring me because I’m the one who comes out and wins jury trials,” he says. “So that’s my role. I might be in the background as the case kind of progresses. But when the buck stops, it always stops on my desk.” But he likes the streamlined nature of his firm. Whereas his previous employer had
hundreds of lawyers in offices across the country and decisions to take on clients often depended on committees, he and Wilenchik each “have the authority to make every single decision without consulting the other.” There is also the more personal side to Foster’s life—the part where he got engaged. While Alina, a native of Taipei in Taiwan, has been his longtime traveling companion—as well as a kind of spiritual leader who led him into meditation and prayer— Foster decided to pop the question. “We don’t have a date in mind yet,” he says. “We’re just kind of happy and living together happily.” So happy they even added a dog—a female goldendoodle. “I haven’t had a dog in 18 years,” he says, adding that that change is part of his rebirth. Admitting he’s at an age where many people would start thinking about retirement, Foster says, “That’s not something that I’m even contemplating now. I’m so motivated and driven right now. “I just am really blessed right now. Making those positive lifestyle changes and getting my focus really got me started. And then literally just taking a leap of faith and kind of stepping off the cliff, I’m just really amazed with what’s happening so far.” www.LovinLife.com
School’s in Session Senior Living Center offers Spring Education Enrichment Series
The art class is a big favorite with residents. “I am amazed how instructor Trisha Dreher has turned residents that have never held a paintbrush in their hands into artists,” Tony Cestare says. “We may not be professional artists, but we are artists that are proud of what we are accomplishing and amazed at what we have done. We are so happy Fellowship Square Historic Mesa has made this opportunity possible for us.” Providing educational outlets and resources is extremely important for se-
niors. Research shows that lifelong learning helps cognitive functioning, memory, health and self-confidence in older adults. Scientists believe learning a new skill helps strengthen brain pathways. Studies at the University of Texas Dallas and Case Western Reserve University proved that learning a new, challenging activity increases memory skill and decreases the likelihood of developing Alzheimer’s. For more information on Fellowship Square in Historic Mesa and its educational enrichment programs, visit fsq-mesa.org
Fellowship Square in Mesa offers a variety of programs, including art, as part of its five-week educational courses. (Photo courtesy Fellowship Square)
BY DENA ROCHE Fellowship Square in Mesa is turning the concept of senior housing and assisted living on its head. Instead of the stereotypical quiet, boring, depressing image many of us have of these facilities, Fellowship Square’s environment is lively, happy and now even more enriching. Starting this spring, Fellowship Square Historic Mesa launches fiveweek educational courses designed to engage seniors in interesting and relevant subjects. “We strive to choose subjects that are useful and interesting to our different residents,” says Trisha Dreher, Fellowship Square Historic Mesa’s life enrichment director. She also teaches art and history painting. “I really enjoy spending the time with the residents and sharing my love of painting and learning. I try to keep the room filled with joy, laughter, good thoughts and, above all else, love. “Art is meant to be a form of communication, and I do believe residents find themselves making friends with their neighbors they otherwise may have never got to know.” The courses were chosen based on resident interests and the ability for stu-
STRONG URGES TO GO? GOING ALL THE TIME? WAKING UP AT NIGHT?
dents to benefit and apply the knowledge gained in class in a multitude of ways. Participants receive a certificate of completion at the end of the course. This spring, four courses will be offered to residents at no additional cost: • Introduction to Creative Writing will focus on poetry, short story authoring and journal keeping. • Technology for Seniors offers practical guides and lessons to maximize the features of smartphones. • Introduction to Sign Language teaches seniors sign language. • Art History and Painting is an introductory class that uses Dreher’s self-developed methods, tips and tricks to allow students to recreate famous works of art.
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Pouring His Heart Out Ahwatukee inventor is saving businesses and consumers money BY PAUL MARYNIAK Steve Abbit has had a busy couple of years doing things that most people never could imagine doing. When the longtime Ahwatukee resident wasn’t on the phone at all hours of the day and night lining up companies around the world to execute his vision, he was grappling with metal cylinders, plastic molds and cardboard boxes. That all this activity started with a bottle of Baby Ray’s Barbecue Sauce is startling enough. But when you know what this activity created—and the potential Abbit sees in it—you could easily end up thinking, “Well, I’ll be damned.” Abbit has invented the mother of all funnels. Christened Freestand, it’s an adjustable funnel that fits just about any bottle, jar, can or other liquid container. Its purpose is simple: draining every last drop of liquid from those containers without having to shake them, spank them or even hold them. Freestand’s applications—and market potential—appear endless. It can drain bottles, jars and other containers that hold almost anything you can pour: ketchup and barbecue sauce, moisturizer and other liquid cosmetics, detergent and dish soap, even motor oil and the containers baristas pour flavored syrups from. “There are guys out there who want to use this for transmission fluid and brake fluid and very expensive motor oils and things like that,” he said. “I’ve got friends who are race car drivers and spend $98 a quart for some of their fluids and now you start thinking about this: If they waste 20% on average of all fluids that come out of bottles and it’s 100 bucks a quart, that adds up.” Abbit believes he can persuade the Jiffy Lubes, Starbucks and Mary Kays of the world to see that his product can save them big bucks in product costs and worker time. Freestand is not all about dollars and cents for Abbit, a retired psychologist and corporate consultant who, at 50, has paved a new career path. “I’ve made a lot of companies a lot of money and I don’t want to do that any-
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Steve Abbit, who helped create LifeLock, the identity-protection service, is pushing his latest invention, Freestand. (Submitted photo)
more,” says Abbit, who helped invent Lifelock, the identity-protection service. “I want to help you and me,” he explains. “I want to save us money. I want to save our environment. I don’t want to do corporate anymore. … It’s bureaucratic and there’s lots of red tape and lots of politics and I just don’t want that. I want to feel good about what I do.” Abbit figures Freestand can help save the planet—and even some marriages. His research has discovered that 27% of couples “fight about getting the last drop” out of one container or another. “Then there are those people who are cutters,” Abbit said. “They just cut open bottles and they scoop it out. Well, 14% of the time, those people wind up in the hospital.” As for the environment, he cites data indicating that every one of the approximate 79.2 million families in America uses 150 plastic food, cosmetic and other containers annually. If every family had Freestand, he reasons, “Americans could save 3.6 billion plastic bottles from ending up in landfills” while saving $250 to $400 per year buying new containers of ketchup, motor oil, makeup and whatever else they normally replace before every last drop is gone. Every step he took to develop the
$29.99 Freestand involved painstaking, methodical and sometimes frustrating hours as he assembled a small army of independent contractors to give birth to his baby. And it really did start with a bottle of Baby Ray’s. He was barbecuing chicken on his lakefront patio in Lakewood when he started pounding the bottom of the upside-down bottle, then finally laid it against another bottle in an effort to drain the remnants. “I’m thinking to myself, man, I have done this like a thousand times and it falls over and I started thinking, ‘How many people experience this?’” Abbit got on Google and eBay, looking in vain for something that would save him the time-consuming—and somewhat tiresome—task of slapping container bottoms or just holding one upside down to drain the contents. Then, he started doodling on napkins, sketching designs for the device he couldn’t find online. From there, he spent more than 18 months before he came up with Freestand. It has three aluminum, telescopic legs that lock in place at three different lengths that hold a high-density poly-
ethylene funnel. Two detachable narrow arms made with the same polyethylene can be snapped into the funnel rim to hold any container upright as it drains away. The polyethylene is BPA free, free of the cancer-causing chemicals found in lower-grade plastic. “I’m totally overengineered,” he says. “It’s made to last forever, and that was really what I wanted. Every single piece of this is recyclable, including the box.” In addition, there are disposable funnel liners. Each box comes with 15, and when someone runs out they can just go on myfreestand.com and order another 15 without charge—for as long as they want. Each piece of Abbit’s invention took many trials and errors to refine. “I’ve been through probably four or five different iterations,” Ebbit explains. “The first iteration was a catastrophe. It was a major failure. I probably hit a thousand reasons why I should have stopped. “But I knew I could get there if I just kept going. It’s like the light bulb, right? There are 10,000 ways not to make a light bulb. So, I came up with 1,500 ways not to make Freestand.” Lining up the experts to help him execute his design was as complicated as his invention is simple. He needed engineers—one for Freestand and one for the box it comes in. He worked with protypes on a 3D printer with an engineer in Florida and then with Moldworx, a Gilbert injection-molding company, to produce a working prototype. The legs were particularly challenging. “I probably interviewed 20 companies that make these legs,” he recalled. “I researched all kinds of different telescoping mechanisms, and I wanted something that locked because what I didn’t want to have happen is have somebody put a container up there and it slides down,” he explained. In his early designs, he used plastic legs—but they collapsed. He finally settled on aluminum legs with stainless steel nubs that lock into place. He spent months calling companies to get manufacturers on board. Because domestic manufacturers www.LovinLife.com
would have forced him to set too high a price for his product, Abbit turned to overseas companies. That meant calls in the middle of the night because of time zone differences as well as overcoming language barriers. “I’m on the phone overseas and with my engineers here at all hours of the night,” he recalls. Concerned that his idea would be stolen, Abbit also decided to have separate overseas companies each manufacture a different component. He has a patent pending, but the process takes two years. “One company makes the legs—they know nothing about the bodies and the arms. Another company makes the body and arms—they know nothing about the legs. Then I have a third company to do all my boxes. … So, no company has all the parts to put it all together.” They also signed nondisclosure agreements to ensure against leaks. “All of them from around the world sent me their pieces and we fit them and I take videos and I take pictures and I go, ‘OK, this fits well, that doesn’t,” he says. A separate company manufactures the box and the liners. Then there’s a separate company that puts all the pieces together in the box. And still another to address and ship orders. Eventually, Abbit said, “I introduced them to each other right at the end because I wanted everybody to be a family.” Looking over all the companies he enlisted to protoype, manufacturer and ship Freestands, Abbit said he likes that they are mostly freelancers or mom-and-pop companies. “I like knowing that when I pay them, it supports them, that it goes to them and their family. It’s not a huge company that’s going to keep their lights on and pay for their electric bill,” he explains. “I just feel closer to supporting a local business. Two days before Thanksgiving, Abbit got his first Freestand shipment at the warehouse a friend loaned him for storage. Eighteen pallets with 5,000 Freestands were waiting for him. And even though Abbit and his wife were planning to host 71 people for the holiday, he was “in the warehouse with the pallet jack.” “I’m pushing pallets around and I’m stacking stuff,” he says, “and I’m thinking, ‘It’s awesome. It’s awesome.’” www.LovinLife.com
He puts a personal touch on each order. “I put my business card in the box, and I put a handwritten note in it,” he says, adding that he often includes an envelope with an extra 15 funnel liners as “just my way of saying thanks for helping us get started.” Abbit feels like he’s just getting started as he plunges into marketing his invention. While working every social media angle, he’s eyeing the companies he thinks should consider Freestand. With Starbucks’ flavoring syrups alone, he said, “they save instantly over $8 million.” Then there’s makeup. “You know what the number one complaint of all cosmetics users?” he asks. “It’s not that it’s too expensive. It’s not that it’s too oily. It’s not that it’s too hard to find in the store. No. 1 complaint: They throw a lot away. Women throw away 25% of their cosmetics because they can’t get the last drops. That’s a lot. “So, imagine I walk into Neutrogena or Mary Kay and I say: ‘I know that you can’t change your bottles. You invest millions of dollars in gorgeous bottles that sell, that look beautiful, that women want to leave out on their counters because they look pretty. You shouldn’t have to change your bottles. “‘But the No. 1 complaint from all of your customers is they can’t get the product. They can’t get the last drops and they want to. “’So, you know, how about I make for you a Mary Kay pink Freestand and you give that away to every single customer who spends more than $100 or $150, whatever?’” He looks forward to such encounters. “It’s been a long journey,” he said, “but quite honestly, the journey is beginning now. “It’s mind boggling. Now I turn the corner and I’m like, ‘OK, Steve, it’s here. Time to put on your marketing and selling hat. And so, it’s a whole new journey for me. It’s pretty exciting.” Information: myfreestand.com
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No One Escapes Coronavirus Time is of the essence for Graceful Departures BY CHRISTINA FUOCO-KARASINSKI April 16 is National Healthcare Decisions Day, but end-of-life choices might be necessary today given the COVID-19 pandemic. Do you or your ER doctor decide if you’re placed on a ventilator? Who decides your last breath? Is now too soon to plan for death? For 30 years, emergency physician Dr. Kevin Haselhorst has sat with patients and their families grappling with end-oflife decisions. He says most people make poor decisions in emergency situations, stating, “We’re not there yet.” Physicians are not trained to help patients make end-of-life decisions; they’re geared to make things better and save lives. This best practice makes dying miserable for everyone involved. Being an expert on advance care planning, Haselhorst places all the options on the table along with the option to remove suffering. He prefers patients think for themselves and do what’s best for them. Making the profound decision to not suffer removes the prospect of any artificial life support including ventilators, feeding tubes and even antibiotics. The author of “Wishes to Die For” and “Is Palliative Care Right for You,” Haselhorst began to plant the seed for having people actually thrive at the end of life. Graceful Departures emerged from his desire to nurture the body, ease the mind and feed the soul of the person suffering with aging and illness. Haselhorst founded Graceful Departures with “the end” in mind. It’s a concierge practice of holistic end-of-life care. Ideally, an experienced concierge knows what people want before they know what they want. Most people don’t want to die in the hospital but 70% of patients do. Sadly, the stigma of hospice and the prospect “giving up” keep people from being ready to die. Holistic end-of-life care allows people to finish strong without suffering, feeling like a chronic patient. It’s the path to aging and dying naturally and gracefully. Navigating the sea of uncertainty with Graceful Departures imagines a
Graceful Departures gracefuldepartures.com www.LovinLife.com
person escaping the pandemonium and setting sail on a sunset cruise without a care in the world. You’re not giving up, you’re giving in to self-indulgence! The notion of feeding your soul is a spiritual principle and practice, like breathing in intention and exhaling indifference. This holistic exercise immediately overrides emotions and instills grace. Haselhorst acknowledges the two aspects of the nervous system, the fightor-flight response and the chill factor. By encouraging patients and family caregivers to become “chill” and heart-centered, finding the good in bad situations, he permits people to finish strong through self-validation and self-fulfillment. Like most who will die of coronavirus, patients often feel betrayed and shameful at the end of life. So they defy death at all costs and experience a fate worse than death. This fate is defined as being placed on a ventilator and having no control in life. Is this what you want? What’s the alternative? Haselhorst advances the concept of aging in place by having patients become tethered to home care rather than hospital care. Through Graceful Departures, he provides all the home support amenities aboard the “Love Boat,” including your personal massage therapist, bartender, budtender, music therapy alongside medical end-of-life care (hospice and palliative care). When serious illness takes a turn for the worse, patients simply have two options: Call 911 or board the “Love Boat.” The choice to be treated like a patient or respected as a person at the end of life seems obvious. Yet, most are not given this option, as seen by the incessant calls for more ventilators and needless stress during this pandemic. Dying is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Really? Aging in place, aging with intention and aging with grace is not possible without a holistic practitioner concierge, an aging mentor who’s experienced every stage of life in each emergency room. The main goal in life is to seek virtue (stress free and full of goodness).
Haselhorst can help you transition from being a vulnerable patient (susceptible to self-inflicted wounds) to becoming a virtuous person (resistant to self-inflicted wounds) via Graceful Departures. But time is of the essence to enlist his concierge practice. His mother might add, “Don’t put off till tomorrow what (holistic habits) can be done today.” Kevin Haselhorst founded Graceful Departures with “the end” in mind. It’s a concierge practice of holistic end-of-life care. (Submitted photo)
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Travel Pilgrimages: Places I Will Remember BY ED BOITANO “There are places I’ll remember All my life, though some have changed Some forever, not for better Some have gone, and some remain All these places had their moments With lovers and friends, I still can recall Some are dead, and some are living In my life, I’ve loved them all” – John Lennon and Paul McCartney A pilgrimage is defined by Oxford Dictionary as (1) a journey to a holy place for religious reasons, or (2) a journey to a place that is connected with someone or something that you admire or respect. I fear I fit into the second category, but with a slight twist: pilgrimages to new places that have opened my eyes and colored my thoughts as I traversed across the globe. Indeed, the following are places I will always remember in my life.
Antoni Gaudi – Barcelona, Catalonia, Spain “Those who look for the laws of nature as a support for their new works collaborate with the creator.” – Antoni Gaudi Spending 16 hours was far too little time to explore the enthralling metropolis of Barcelona, the capital of Spanish Casa Batllo is one of Antoni Gaudi’s enduring masterpieces. A UNESCO World Heritage site and iconic Barcelona treasure, it welcomes 1 million visitors per year.
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Catalonia. Peopled by 1.6 million stylish and sophisticated Barcelonés, the city greeted me with grand boulevards and welcoming pedestrian malls that wandered to the waterfront. I was particularly enchanted by the cityscape that reflects the lifelong work of Barcelona architect Antoni Gaudi, considered the greatest exponent of Catalan modernism. As a proud Catalander, he refused to speak Castilian and seldom left his beloved Catalonia. Gaudi’s architecture illustrates his profound passion for nature and devotion to religion. Still ahead of his time, he integrated used ceramic pieces, stained glass and wrought ironwork into his architectural style. Seven of his works have been declared UNESCO World Heritage Sites, and include the still-incomplete Sagrada Família, the most-visited monument in Spain. A visiting bishop once asked him, “Why do you trouble yourself so much about the tops of the towers? After all, no one will ever see them.” “Your Grace,” replied Gaudi. “The angels will see them.” His faith in the Roman Catholic Church intensified toward the end of his life, with his living in a squalid room at Sagrada Família, frantically attempting to finish his astonishing masterpiece. Still dressed in his work clothes, he took walks. In 1926,
It is essential to purchase tickets in advance for the Museo Frida Kahlo, or guests will face long and timeconsuming lines. (Photos by Deb Roskamp)
he was tragically run down by a streetcar. Gaudi desperately waved for assistance from passing vehicles, but was dismissed as a ragged beggar, and died shortly after. Today, he is often times referred to by his nickname, “God’s Architect.”
Frida Kahlo and Leon Trotsky – Coyoacán, Mexico City, Mexico “I am not sick. I am broken. But I am happy to be alive as long as I can paint.” – Frida Kahlo Coyoacán, Mexico, was once a serene village on the outskirts of Mexico City. Mexico City’s urban sprawl reached Coyoacán in the mid-20th century, but city fathers preserved the former village’s historic center, maintaining its colonial layout, plazas, narrow streets and structures built from the 16th to the early 20th centuries. This is where Coyoacán’s most popular destination rests: Museo Frida Kahlo. Born Magdalena Carmen Frida Kahlo y Calderón on July 6, 1907, she is celebrated at the museum housed in her place of birth. Painted in vibrant cobalt-blue colors (known locally as the Blue House), the house is also was where she lived all of her life. It contains important paintings, including “Viva la Vida,” along with canvases by husband and fellow communist Diego Rivera. They were both heavily influenced by Mexicanidad, a romantic nationalism that had developed in the aftermath of the 1910 Mexican Revolution. The Mexicanidad movement’s mantra was to challenge the “mindset of cultural inferiority” created by colonialism, placing special importance on indigenous cultures. The museum also displays Kahlo’s workspace, Mexican folk art, pre-Hispanic artifacts, photographs and memora-
bilia. Kahlo has become the poster child for Mexico tourism as much for her work as well as for spiritedly overcoming the adversarial conditions of her life—childhood polio, a tragic streetcar accident which left her in a hospital for years, acceptance as an artist due to her gender, and the two tumultuous marriages with womanizer Rivera. Kahlo lived her life as an art form, even selecting her daily wear down to the smallest detail.
The Leon Trotsky Museum “There are no absolute rules of conduct, either in peace or war. Everything depends on circumstances.” – Leon Trotsky The Leon Trotsky Museum is located just a few blocks away from the Museo Frida Kahlo. Trotsky was the second-most important member of the original Russian Bolsheviks and considered heir to Lenin. However, he was forced into exile and then hunted by the tyrannical Josef Stalin regime after he forced his way into power upon Lenin’s death. Trotsky was given political asylum, sponsored by Rivera and Kahlo. Along with his wife, he lived in the Kahlo house for a few years. A rumored affair, though, between Trotsky and Kahlo, led to the Trotskys relocating to a new fortress-life home with watchtowers, as protection from any assassination attempts by Stalin’s agents. As I entered the museum, I was told the museum director was going to give me a private tour. To my surprise, the museum director is Trotsky’s grandson, Esteban Volkov. A remarkably spry and dashing man in his early 90s with impeccable manners, Volkov lived with his grandparents at age 13, and was wounded as a rewww.LovinLife.com
sult of an earlier Stalin operative’s failed machine gun assault. The bullet holes are still on the walls. He walked me through the museum, patiently explaining in detail the history of photos from Trotsky’s lifetime; his participation in the Bolshevik Revolution; family tree; books and newspapers; and the backyard where he planted vegetables, tended to his rabbits and is buried. The museum’s centerpiece is Trotsky’s study, where his iconic spectacles, papers and books are left in the exact position on the desk where he sat when he was murdered with an ice axe by a Stalin assassin who had posed as a friend of the family. Volkov ultimately raised his own family in the house, and then turned it into a museum on the 50th anniversary of Trotsky’s assassination.
The Barbary apes – Gibraltar “The establishment of the apes on Gibraltar should be 24, and every effort should be made to reach this number as soon as possible and maintain it thereafter.” – Winston Churchill Churchill was obsessed with the continuance of the Barbary apes, fearing that British rule over the Rock of Gibraltar during World War II would end if they disappeared, a catastrophe he would not tolerate. In the early days of the war, Winston Churchill visited Gibraltar, and was disturbed that the population had dwindled down to only seven Barbary apes. He immediately instructed that five new females be sent to the Rock. Churchill was
well aware of the Gibraltar apes’ symbolic importance to the British people, and feared that the disappearance of the animals would have a detrimental effect on morale. The British Empire needed plenty when they stood alone against the Fascists in 1941. Three-hundred apes in five troops occupy the Upper Rock area of the Gibraltar Nature Reserve. Because they are tailless, they are often mistakenly referred to as Barbary apes or rock apes, but, technically speaking, they are actually macaques (macaca sylvanus). The cute little critters are inquisitive and have no fear of humans. Upon my arrival, one jumped on the front of my car’s windshield and curiously looked me straight in the eye. The biggest tourist casualty is there apprehension of cameras. Foraging for food, though, seems to be their main goal, and they are known to even traverse the capital city below. As a British Overseas Territory, the Rock features 32 miles of tunnels, initially designed as protection from Spanish and French forces in their attempt to take Gibraltar back from the British when they were at their weakest during the American Revolution. At the early stages of what was to be a surprise attack, the monkeys were disturbed in the night and let out howls, alerting the British garrison to the upcoming enemy assault. This led to the popular saying, “As long as the apes remain on the Rock, so will the British.” For further information, visit travelingboy.com
When Paul Theroux observed a tourist brazenly poking a baby monkey while being fed by its mother, he concluded that the monkeys were more civilized than the laughing tourists. The mother monkey simply raised her hand, as if asking the tourist to stop, then disappeared with the baby behind a higher rock.
www.LovinLife.com
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THE ADVENTURE TRAVEL PLANNER
To advertise in this section, contact Ed Boitano at 818.985.8132 or Ed@TravelingBoy.com
OUR GUIDE TO THE WORLD’S MOST ADVENTURIOUS TREKS, TOURS & DESTINATIONS IN 2020. v Compiled by Ed Boitano
CruiseOne offers cruise and land vacations to the world’s most exotic destinations, including the Mediterranean Riviera, Alaska, Hawaii, Mexican Riviera and Caribbean. Programs range from family reunions at sea and honeymoon cruises to river cruising and land vacations. Each independently owned and operated business combines the latest technology with old-fashioned customer service. Ask about our Mexico, Spain and Gibraltar land packages. Contact Joni Notagiacomo in Los Angeles at (800) 600-4548 or www.luv2cruz.com CONDOMINIUM RENTALS HAWAII, has been offering QUALITY condos at the BEST Maui and Kauai beach locations since 1892. From Wailea, Kihei and Maalaea to Kapaa and Poipu, our Maui and Kauai vacation condos are exquisite, and are fully-furnished. Visit our website at www.crhmaui.com to see and choose your amazing condo now . Book our affordable car/condo packages, or browse our specials. Call our reservations department at 800INDEPENDENT VACATION SPECIALIST 367-5242, ext. 1. DIGNITY TRAVEL – The ancient Inca citadel of Machu Picchu is the star attraction of this 11-day tour to Peru. The citadel is one of the world’s finest examples
of landscape architecture. Not only will you have the opportunity to visit this world wonder, you will see ancient Inca walls, colorful costumes, churches built on top of palaces, citadels lost in the Andean heights, legendary roads-all the beauty of a glorious past that enfolds the visitors who explores this mystical country. (877) 337-4272 or www.Dignitytravel.biz DOLPHIN BAY RESORT & SPA — Set along the rugged California Coast, just south of San Luis Obispo, Dolphin Bay Resort & Spa is centrally located in Pismo Beach. Dolphin Bay is the ideal hotel for romantic getaways or family vacations where guests stay anywhere from two nights to months at a time. With 60 spacious 1 and 2 bedroom suites featuring all the amenities of a home, The Spa, award winning-restaurant, Lido Restaurant and Lounge and an array of activities, guests can experience the best of the Central Coast. (800) 516-0112 or www.thedolphinbay.com
PISMO COAST VILLAGE RV RESORT — Located right on the beach, this beautifully landscaped RV resort features 400 full hookup sites, each with complimentary Wi-Fi and cable TV on 26 acres. Enjoy a general store, children’s arcade, restaurant, Laundromat, heated pool, bicycle rentals and miniature golf course.
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The resort offers the ideal location for wineries, golf or Hearst Castle. Pismo Coast Village RV Resort was awarded the 2007/2008 National RV Park of the Year. (888) RV-BEACH or www.PismoCoastVillage.com
the ancient Maya City of Lamanai Temples. (800) 688-0191; www. SunBreezeSuites.com; www.SunBreeze.net
PISMO SANDS RV RESORT is located just minutes from Pismo Beach, and convenient to all of the many activities on California’s Central Coast. We offer 133 paved sites, many pull throughs up to 80 feet in length, each with complimentary satellite TV and WI-FI, all situated on 11 beautifully landscaped acres. Go on a wine country tour, hit the beach, take a kayak trek or enjoy a relaxing dip in our sparkling year-round heated pool and spa. Family owned - we are dedicated to making your stay with us a pleasant one. (800) 404-7004 or www.PismoSands.com
TOGIAK RIVER LODGE — Located in Togiak, Alaska, we are all about the fishing, keeping you comfortable and well fed. Yes we have the hot tub on the river’s edge, and a sauna too; satellite television for those who must catch up on their sports teams, Wi-Fi, daily room service, but it is the worldclass salmon fishing, King Salmon fishing, fly fishing Silver Salmon, and Trophy Rainbow Trout fishing that people travel to Togiak for. Allow us to take care of you, your family or friends on a remote Alaskan wilderness fishing adventure of a lifetime. (503) 784-7919; www.togiaklodge.com or llchinook@aol.com
SUNBREEZE SUITES & SUNBREEZE HOTEL are a short stroll apart, located downtown and oceanfront in San Pedro, Belize. The properties are the perfect vacation hideaway to experience the pleasures of Ambergris Caye. Enjoy oceanfront suites and partial ocean view rooms just onehalf mile from the world-renowned diving and snorkeling on the Belize Barrier Reef. The fresh water pool offers the ideal place to relax after a day of activities. SunBreeze Suites & SunBreeze Hotel are walking distance to restaurants and attractions. Ask about our full day adventure to
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1.800.544.2206 APRIL 2020
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Dining Made with Love
Ashur and Nikki Zai co-founded Agapi Pita Mediterranean Grill in the Scottsdale Airpark. (LLAF photos by Pablo Robles)
Scottsdale is enamored with Agapi Pita BY CHRISTINA FUOCO-KARASINSKI
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Ashur Zai’s dream was to open a restaurant. So, when he married his wife, Nikki, in May 2018, the two embarked on a culinary journey with Agapi Pita Mediterranean Grill in Scottsdale. “We love this kind of food and we hope others do as well,” Nikki says. “Ashur always wants to add more to the menu. I have to tell him to slow down. He has so many recipes. He does it out of love. He loves to cook.”
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The salmon Greek salad and the chicken shawarma are top entrees at Agapi Pita Mediterranean Grill.
“Love” is the operative word here, as “agapi” is Greek for “love.” “When you do it from love, everything turns out good,” she says. “I think it’s the energy. Every day we’re getting return customers.” The Glendale couple have won over the Scottsdale Airpark businesses with their steak and chicken shawarma and their gyros. The chicken shawarma ($10.50) comes with marinated dark and white chicken, served with rice, pita bread, tomatoes, onions and tzatziki sauce. Steak can be added for $3.50. The steak plate is marinated beef, broiled on a vertical skewer, thinly sliced and served with rice, pita bread, tomatoes, onions and tzatziki sauce for $10.75.
*$250 REWARD CARD: Ends 12/31/20. Smartphone: Buy any new smartphone on qualifying 0% APR installment plan. Other installment options may be available. $0 down for well-qualified credit or down payment may be req’d. Retail price is divided into monthly installments. Tax on full retail price due at sale. Required Wireless: Port in new line w/ postpaid wireless voice & data service (min. $50/mo. for new svc with autopay and paperless bill discounts. Pay $60/mo. until discounts starts w/in 2 bills. Other qual. plans available.). Excludes upgrades and AT&T ports. If you cancel wireless svc, will owe device balance. Activation Fee: $30. Return: Return w/in 14 days (w/in 30 days for business customers). Restocking fee up to $55 may apply. Reward Card Redemption req’d.: Will be sent email or letter with redemption requirements. Redemption req’d w/in 75 days from reward notification mail date. Reward Card delivered within 3-4 weeks after redemption to customers who maintain qualifying service(s) from installation date and through reward fulfillment. Card expires at mon-end 6 months after issuance. For Cardholder Agreement, go to rewardcenter.att.com. The AT&T Visa Reward Card is issued by The Bancorp Bank pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. and can be used everywhere Visa debit cards are accepted in the United States, US Virgin Islands, and Puerto Rico. No cash access. The Bancorp Bank; Member FDIC. Limits: May not be combinable w/other offers, discounts or credits. Purchase, financing & other limits & restr’s apply. Participation in these offers may make your wireless account ineligible for select other offers (including select bill credit offers) for a 12-month period. Gen. Wireless: Subj. to Wireless Customer Agmt at att.com/wca. Svc not for resale. Deposit: Service deposit may apply. Limits: Purchase & line limits apply. Credit approval, activation (up to $45/line) and other fees, advanced payments and other charges apply. Additional monthly fees & taxes: Apply per line and include Regulatory Cost Recovery Fee (up to $1.50), Administrative Fee ($1.99) & other fees which are not government-required surcharges as well as taxes. Additional one-time Fees may apply. See www.att.com/mobilityfees for more details. Coverage & svc not avail. everywhere. You get an off-net (roaming) usage allowance for each svc. If you exceed the allowance, your svc(s) may be restricted or terminated. International and domestic off-net data may be at 2G speeds. Other restr’s apply & may result in svc termination. Pricing, promotions, programming, terms & restr’s subject to change & may be modified or terminated at any time without notice. ©AT&T svc is subject to AT&T network management policies, see att.com/broadbandinfo for details. ©2020 AT&T Intellectual Property. All Rights Reserved. AT&T, Globe logo, DIRECTV, and all other DIRECTV marks contained herein are trademarks of AT&T Intellectual Property and/or AT&T affiliated companies. All other marks are the property of their respective owners. Ask rep for details.
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The vegetarian platter comes with two pitas.
Chicken can be added for $3.50. Gyros, pork, salmon, steak and hummus, and chicken and hummus plates are available, too, for $10.50 to $12.75. Nikki hails from Chicago, while Ashur, who is Syrian, moved here from Sweden. Nikki’s Windy City influence comes through via pizza puffs ($7 for two). The pastries are filled with pork sausage, mozzarella and pizza sauce. Ashur puts a Mexican spin on hummus by adding cilantro and jalapeno ($5.25, includes two pitas). The hummus is house-blended chickpeas, tahini olive oil, fresh garlic and lemon juice. Traditional hummus is available too, as is baba ghanouj (eggplant). Lentil soup ($3.50), dolmas ($5.50), the vegetarian platter ($10.25) and falafel and hummus ($9.75) round out the appetizers. Salads—Greek, Mediterranean and Caesar—are available with or without protein. Unsure about Mediterranean food? There are chicken tenders, fish and chips and hamburgers on the menu, too. Ashur makes everything from scratch with natural ingredients without MSG or chemicals. He keeps a keen eye on what customers order and what they toss because, perhaps, they didn’t care for the dish. “I try to find what’s going on,” he says. “I’m very observant with customers.” Food has a heavy hand in both of their lives. Ashur’s family cooked together, while Nikki’s brother owns restaurants around the Valley, including Olive Mediterranean in Phoenix and Pita Heaven in Chandler. He helped the couple start Agapi Pita Mediterranean Grill. “He helped us with the back-end stuff,” says Nikki, whose father cooked in private residences in his home country of
Iraq. “All the recipes are my husband’s, though.” The Scottsdale Airpark location was perfect for them, as Nikki’s sister has a salon in the same shopping center. The location is a former hot dog restaurant. Agapi Pita Mediterranean Grill has proven the couple can be successful, but there’s another benefit. “It helps with his English,” Nikki says with a smile. “He speaks pretty good for only moving here in 2016.” Ashur adds, “When I moved here, it was very hard for me. I wanted to find a good wife and family. It’s hard to move to a new country and start with zero. I was very, very upset with my life when I moved here—then I met Nikki.” The Zais help each other accomplish their dreams. The steak and chicken plate is one of the most popular dishes.
“His dream was to open a restaurant, and when we moved in we couldn’t believe it was ours,” Nikki says. “It was so surreal. I wanted him to just pinch me. He was very excited, and for both of us it’s been a new adventure.”
Agapi Pita Mediterranean Grill
13802 N. Scottsdale Road, Suite 130, Scottsdale 480-626-9224, agapipita.com, agapifood@gmail.com www.LovinLife.com
Columns
Hospice Is Hope
The heart of a hospice volunteer BY LIN SUE COONEY
Director of Community Engagement Hospice of the Valley
April is Volunteer Appreciation Month, and Hospice of the Valley is honored to have more than 2,100 dedicated volunteers supporting our mission. COVID-19 may be temporarily suspending face-to-face visits with families as all of us practice safe social distancing, but many are staying in touch by telephone and Facetime. Hopefully soon, they’ll be back to visiting and reading, running errands and offering companionship and emotional support. Our amazing volunteers bring kindness and companionship to people all over the Valley—in homes, assisted living facilities and our inpatient units. Family members tell us they’re a burst of sunshine—providing a shoulder to lean on and a break from the challenges of daily caregiving. These selfless volunteers often drop everything to be there for a family in need. Sometimes, they bring along pet therapy dogs like Callie, who brightens every day with her happy tail and soulful eyes. “It just warms my heart,” says Callie’s owner, volunteer Holly Thorson of Gilbert. “Callie just seems to know the patients Volunteer Holly Thorson of Gilbert delights patient Vicki Zanoni of Mesa every time she brings pet therapy dog Callie to visit.
www.LovinLife.com
need comfort and she gives it to them. It just gives me joy.” Watching Vicki Zanoni of Mesa cover the tiny pooch in kisses, it’s obvious how much these visits mean. “When Holly’s not looking, I’m going to take her one day,” Vicki says. “I love this dog. She soothes my feelings. When I pet her, I feel good.” Volunteer Jeff Riddle became the hands for patient Mark Adinolfi, whose progressive disease advanced to the point that he could no longer prepare gourmet meals for his family. He not only enjoyed being in charge—telling Jeff just how thick to slice potatoes or how much Turkish pepper to add to the pork chops—he valued the friendship that grew between the North Phoenix residents. “Jeff met me in a wheelchair,” Mark says. “He’s not like an old friend who maybe has a little sadness in their eyes when they see how I’ve changed. Jeff knows me exactly as I am now. He’s a genuine new friend.” When volunteer Carolyn Westermann shows up to visit her patient, Lois Mongan, both women’s eyes light up. The North Central Phoenix residents head to a secluded corner to enjoy a “tea party” together. Carolyn always brings warm tea in a thermos and a delicious dessert to share. But it’s not about the food—it’s about the conversation and laughter that nourishes their souls. A few months after her patient, Brian Ferjak, died, volunteer Betty Schecker of Glendale remembers a lovely encounter with his wife, Darlene. There were hugs, tears and lots of laughter as they remi-
Volunteer Jeff Riddle of Phoenix prepares gourmet meals for patient Mark Adinolfi of Phoenix and his family. (Photos courtesy Hospice of the Valley)
nisced about her husband of 15 years. “Caring for Brian was 24/7,” says Darlene, who was by his side from the time he was diagnosed with liver disease in April 2018 until his death nearly a year later at age 64. “There was no relief. Betty lifted that burden for a couple of hours and she put me at ease. I knew Brian was in good hands.” Betty came from a law-enforcement family and instantly clicked with Brian, who was a 22-year police veteran. “I like giving the caregiver a break and getting to know the patient,” says Betty, who joined Hospice of the Valley’s volunteer team almost three years ago, when she felt called to make a difference in the world. “I needed something meaningful to do. Now, it’s one of the highlights of my life because I get to give back.” Soon, it will be Darlene’s turn to give back. The Sun City woman was so inspired by her experience, she plans to join our not-for-profit agency as a volunteer, in hopes of providing the same respite and comfort she received from Betty. Not every volunteer is suited for patient care, but there are so many other opportunities available. In addition to pet therapy, there is music therapy, which brings such joy to dementia patients who still have long-term memory and can sing along to their favorite songs. Our Shabbat Blessings program brings Sabbath prayers to the bedsides of our patients in our inpatient homes and care facilities. Our tender 11th Hour Companion program provides a special-
ly trained volunteer to vigil with patients and give peace of mind to family members. Volunteers with Saluting Our Veterans and Honoring First Responders pay tribute visits to veteran and law-enforcement patients at end of life. Our Speaker’s Bureau volunteers give educational talks about our no-cost community programs, such as senior placement, which helps families locate living arrangements for parents or spouses who can no longer manage on their own. They also educate groups and companies about health care decision planning. We have 350 passionate volunteers working at our White Dove Thrift Shoppes, with locations in Mesa, Glendale, Phoenix and Scottsdale. The stores raise funds for Hospice of the Valley’s charity care programs. Volunteers also can stitch a beach towel into a bath poncho to preserve the dignity and modesty of patients during bathing. They can arrange and deliver bouquets of donated flowers to patients, answer phones, assist with special events, greet visitors or manage paperwork in our offices. Spanish speakers are available. Whatever volunteers do, they make a huge difference in the lives of our patients, families and staff. We treasure them as valuable members of our hospice teams and could not care for our community the way we do without their dedication, commitment and compassion. Info: visit hov.org/volunteer or call 602636-6336. Volunteer...continues on page 22 APRIL 2020
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Volunteer...continued from page 21
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• Perinatal Support – A program for expectant couples who are told their baby will not survive birth. No cost.
• Gardiner Home – An inpatient unit that is dedicated to caring solely for patients with dementia and providing respite for caregivers.
• Grief Support – Grief support for anyone in the community suffering loss from the death of a loved one. Specialized grief support is also available for children, teens, young adults and families at the New Song Center for Grieving Children. No cost.
• Music, Massage and Pet Therapy – Comforting therapies that soothe patients and enhance quality of life.
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Programs for our patients, families and the community
• Palliative Care for Dementia – Services for those at any stage of dementia and their caregivers.
• Pediatric Care – Comprehensive care for medically fragile children with life-threatening conditions and emotional support for family members.
ON AVERAGE, AARP MEMBERS ENJOY
Volunteer Carolyn Westermann of Phoenix brings yummy sweets when she visits patient Lois Mongan of Phoenix.
• Saluting our Veterans – A program recognizing the unique contributions and needs of military veterans with visits from fellow veterans, who present pins and flags honoring our patients’ service. • Quiet Moments – A lovely service offered by a social worker in group home settings to engage dementia patients with favorite interests and activities. • 11th Hour Companion – When family or friends cannot be present or would like additional support, a trained volunteer brings comfort at the bedside to patients nearing end of life in hospice care.
• Mindfulness for Caregivers and Community – Free meditation sessions for caregivers to reduce stress and depression. We also offer complimentary mindfulness sittings to anyone in the community at the Phoenix Art Museum every Thursday at noon. • Senior Placement – A free program to help families find the right home placement for loved ones who can no longer manage by themselves. • Health Care Decisions – How do you want to be cared for at the end of life? Assistance provided to families and patients completing living will and medical power of attorney forms. No cost. • White Dove Thrift Shoppe – Our four thrift stores (soon to be five) in the Valley gladly accept donations to help fund charity care for those without financial means. www.LovinLife.com
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