Helping Kids Deal with Crisis

When will we be able to play with our friends? When will mommy or daddy be able to go back to work? Why can’t we go to a restaurant? Why do I have to do school at home? Lots of questions with no answers—yet.

I know many adults having a hard time dealing with the conditions surrounding daily life. I know many adults who are frustrated after working so hard to save some money, after sacrificing to plan for a special event, after landing that job only to be told you are being laid off. To see one’s savings disappear, to wonder if that wedding venue will still be available in six months, wondering when you will be allowed to visit a hospitalized relative. For adults, each of those scenarios on their own can produce a great deal of stress, but adding multiple situations to our daily life is even harder.

Today is a day like no other. Families around the globe are trying their best to deal with the circumstances we find ourselves in, and at the same time trying to help their children understand why we can no longer Children need to be reassured with words and touch By Pastor David Bowen Standing Stones Community Church Standing Stones Christian Academy go play at the park or why so many grocery store shelves are empty. Hearing that the school year was over probably produced a round of cheers, until the reality of why they will not be attending class sets in.

What do families do? If adults feel helpless in addressing certain situations, how do children feel? How do the kids communicate? Especially younger children who cannot verbalize their feelings. Fear is a real emotion, but it can be dealt with, so it should not be ignored. Every child is unique in how he or she responds to frightening events. Some children may become quieter or withdrawn; others may want to express compassion and want to do something to help others.

When kids are personally affected or exposed to traumatic circumstances, it’s important to protect their emotional wellbeing as much as caring for their physical safety. Limiting exposure to news is important. We do not rely on the media to give our kids information on world events. The news media purposefully displays sounds and images that are the worst of the worst. These clips are often too vivid, especially for children who cannot distinguish between the abstract and concrete.

I have found in explaining the situation, whether it be an earthquake that took place on the other side of the world or a local event where someone was seriously hurt, when we talk about it’s best to control the way the situation(s) is described. It’s important to clarify any confusion and give honest answers, so I ask for and welcome their questions. Once they have as clear an understanding as they can, we spend time praying for the people hurt by the earthquake or the family that just suffered a terrible loss. It brings peace and comfort to a situation that is anything but.

I am hoping families do their best to create and communicate an atmosphere of hope and safety. Because children may feel vulnerable and overwhelmed, it’s important to restore their sense of security. One blessing in the shelter-at-home edict is the ability to spend extra time together as a family, which is often a refuge to kids in times of uncertainty.

During these times, adults and especially children need to be reassured with both words and touch. Hang in there, better days are ahead.