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Ask Gabby Gayle Pandemic brings out the worst in everyone

BY GAYLE LAGMAN-CRESWICK

QDear Gabby Gayle: I have been married to my husband for 40 years. During those years, we both had successful careers and were still working when this virus sidelined both of us. I have to tell you that in many ways I never knew him until now! That is both bad and good. The good is that we have to depend upon each other for our daily entertainment and we both have a good sense of humor! The bad: My husband is a meddler! He wants to know everyone I am talking to and what they said and why I said what I said. I have lots of friends and he has none—only acquaintances from work. So, I guess he is living vicariously through me. I fi nd it very annoying! He has also become an expert on how laundry should be done, how dishes should be done and how beds should be made. This is also annoying. I think I need help.

Signed, Help!

ADear Help: You are not alone. I hear this from my friends and see it on TV with celebrities! Too much togetherness can smother a relationship just as not enough time together can starve a relationship. I think the secret is in making “alone” time for each other. You need to go to your corner and rest, have private time, recuperate, have private phone conversations every day. I had a rule in my house that he who complains about how I cook, clean or whatever gets that chore to do. I got very few complaints! You can still go for a walk or ride, sit outside, several times a day. It will take an eff ort, but you can do it! Good luck.

Signed, Indecision

QDear Gabby Gayle: My grandson is getting married soon. They opted to have a backyard wedding and forgo the reception until this virus is over. Only immediate family and the bridal party will be there. My kids have left it up to me whether I will feel safe attending. I have been faithful to the quarantine because I am 80 years old and do not want to end my life gasping for air. I am close to this grandson, and part of me says go and another part says no. What would Gabby do?

Signed, GG

ADear Indecision: I feel your dilemma. Because the world is slowly opening up again, there are going to be many of us faced with the “coming out” decisions. If it were Gabby, she would probably choose family as the fi rst act of stepping out again. However, your kids were smart in leaving it up to you. It is your life, and only you can make that move. If you are the type of person who would go there and be hyper-sensitive to anyone who gets near you, or if you would worry about it for the next two weeks afterward, I say stay home. If you can go and be proud of yourself for venturing out, then go. I wish you luck!

Signed, Fatty

QDear Gabby Gayle: In the last seven years, I have lost 80 pounds. I was looking and feeling pretty good. Now in two months of isolation I have gained 10 pounds. I cannot stop eating. I am hungry all the time. I order groceries online, which helps keep my cost down, but I spend time looking up old recipes, comfort foods, baking bread. Eating is the highlight of my day. If this goes on much longer, I won’t be able to go back to my exercise class. I may not be able to go anywhere!

Signed, GG

ADear Fatty: Once in a while I get a letter that describes me perfectly, and this one is it! I have exchanged my busy, active life for a life of eating! I don’t have an answer for you, so I asked my son, the doctor. He said, “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Try to eat healthier things and get on that exercise bike and work off the calories. This thing will be over, and you can get back to your busy life. You can probably scrap the bread!” Good luck to both of us!

Signed, GG