LOS ANGELES TIMES SUNDAY CROSSWORD PUZZLE “EXTRA SPECIAL” By CHRISTINA IVERSON ACROSS 1 Paulson of “American Crime Story” 6 Remove one’s name from, as on Facebook 11 __ one’s time 15 Ooze 19 Steered 20 Ma Rainey player Davis 21 Ones in wool coats 22 Muscle car rod 23 Holiday-themed minifigures in LEGO Advent calendars? 25 __ bean 26 Muscle car roof 27 Like Zippo lighters and Maglite flashlights 28 Not for keeps 30 Major reversals 32 Whole Foods section 34 Leaves off 36 Pulitzer-winning Glass 37 Club kin 40 Formal complaints about a sommelier’s recommendations? 47 “I’m all __!” 49 “Kiss Me Deadly” singer Ford 50 __ Vogue 51 TV pioneer 52 “You’re not allowed to feel that way!,” e.g.? 58 “__ Eleven”: Emily St. John Mandel novel 60 Furniture wood 61 Bite 63 Tierra en el mar 64 Post, as on a bulletin board 67 Gold unit 69 Photo filter 70 Tale of the hora?
74 Wasn’t well 76 Ball of the Bulls 77 Post-workout indulgence 78 Subj. for Elinor Ostrom and Emily Oster 79 Walks loudly 82 Five cents 86 Mosaic piece 90 Surfer’s dream? 93 Born 94 Hershey candy in gold foil 96 Skiing aid 97 Arcade name 98 Way to manage the study of Ceres and Vesta? 105 __ de crème 106 Cheer for un gol 107 Vowel-rich first guess in Wordle 108 Growing concern 110 Plant pests 113 Did the tango 116 Wet floor? 120 Print maker 121 “Spring forward” unit 123 Pretty but ineffective dressing? 126 Apple variety 127 “Blackfish” killer whale 128 Soap that floats 129 Co-founder of A.A., familiarly 130 Metal bands? 131 Sturdy trees 132 Like flourless cake 133 Naturally powered elevator? DOWN 1 California sch. near the Mexican border 2 Vishnu’s quartet 3 Wander
4 Meeting place for a H.S. film club 5 Prevented from being on time 6 Grape, in Spanish 7 Diarist Anaïs 8 “Africa” band 9 “Doom Patrol” actor Tudyk 10 Fixture in some patio firepits 11 “Hey now, that’s unreasonable!” 12 “Gimme!” 13 Actor Patel 14 Genesis twin 15 Planet with 53 named moons 16 Bacon specification 17 North Carolina college town 18 Spices (up) 24 Ward with awards 29 “Egad,” like, way updated 31 Disney princess voiced by Anika Noni Rose 33 Pottery oven 35 Understands 37 Suds 38 Gold fabric 39 Stepped 41 Clear (of) 42 Thing 43 Second start? 44 One seeing Spots? 45 Gut bacteria 46 Yemen metropolis 48 Dublin’s St. __ Green 53 Epic featuring Paris 54 Old Dodge 55 Trying 56 Morales of “Ozark” 57 Oscar winner Laura 59 Closet organizers
62 65 66 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 80 81 83 84 85 87 88 89 91 92 95 99 100 101 102 103 104 109 110 111 112 114 115 117 118 119 122 124 125
Gets behind Short address All in favor PreCheck org. Justice Sotomayor Very relatable Not behind Hilfiger rival Ditty Insurance giant Fruity frozen drinks “__ Loves Mambo” Schedule opening Stay fresh Therefore Test with logic games Blundered Kanga’s kid Shawkat of “Arrested Development” Civil rights initialism Coral habitat Idiosyncratic sort Privileged few Twinkly toppers Kylo of the “Star Wars” sequels Geometry giant Org. that sent Juno to Jupiter Fashionable Sierra __ Natural hairstyle Penniless “Amscray!” Roof trim Mousetrap brand Dad, in Chinese Challenges on the field Burden for many students British singer Rita Trauma ctrs. “Later, gator”
COWER STRUGGLE
I’m a 20-something single woman. I just moved to a new city where I don’t know anybody. I’d like to meet people, but I work from home, and I’m pretty shy. The idea of having to earn people’s acceptance in a new environment (and possibly making a mess of it) leaves me tempted to stay home with Netflix and my cat. — Afrai To be human is to err. And err. And err. Personally, I have clogged somebody’s toilet, shattered an expensive, um, vase (“Nooo...not Nana’s ashes!”), and knocked a guy’s red wine the length of a white-onwhite living room. In my defense, not all at the same party. You can’t really control what happens to you – and if you’re as graceful as I am, you can’t really control what you do. What you can control is how you react: whether you “shy away” from public life or put on a brave face, hoping somebody in your circle gets arrested for bestiality and bumps you from the top of the social newsfeed. Researchers have spent decades squabbling over how shyness should be defined, and they have yet to agree on a definition. However, shyness, to some extent, is a superlight shade of “social anxiety disorder”: a debilitating fear of being “negatively evaluated” by others – deemed disgusting, stupid, ugly, weird, or otherwise rejection-worthy – and then being publicly humiliated and socially deleted. Social anxiety sufferers, desperate to avoid the eyeballs and judgment of others, live shrunken lives. Parties, meetings, and classes are often out of the question, as are situations requiring “public speaking” (like the coffee line, with the ever-looming danger of being asked “You next?”). Though you’re merely shy – meaning you probably just dread and sometimes duck out of parties or talking with strangers – it’s important to reflect on whether your shyness is standing between you and the life you want – or...whether it is (or has been) a good thing. That question – about the possible benefits of shyness – might sound a little nuts (though it’s anything but). Answering it requires exploring shyness from an evolutionary perspective: Why might shyness have evolved – that is, what might’ve been its function in an ancestral environment? Now, maybe you’re grumbling, “Ancestral environment?! Who cares what some hairy humans were doing way back when?” Well, we need to
care, because our modern skulls are home to an antique psychological operating system – adapted for the mating and survival problems of our distant human ancestors. In ancestral times, getting booted from your hunter-gatherer band meant going it alone in a horribly harsh environment, millennia before DoorDash – or doors. If you didn’t starve to death, you might become the brunch entree for Mr. and Mrs. Tiger. Deeply unpleasant – and a big dead end for your genes. That’s where our emotions – including feelbad ones like fear and anxiety – come in. Psychiatrist and evolutionary researcher Randy Nesse explains that our emotions are motivational tools, driving us to behave in ways that help us survive and pass on our genes. For example, he observes that “People develop a fear of heights after a fall” – killing the appeal of skydiving, rock climbing, and other sports with a concerning, shall we say, splat rate. Along with our ancestral history, your personal history has shaped your behavior. At some point, it was probably “adaptive” – functional, protective – for you to duck and cover; for example, if, like me, you were a little kid bullied by bigger, older girls. (“Out of sight; out of beatdown.”) But...does it make sense now to keep ducking and covering? It’s unlikely there are giant mean girls (or other childhood “monsters”) lying in wait for you. Plus, your adult “neighborhood” is vastly bigger than your childhood one: filled with new friends to make, should the ones you have give you the shove. Changing a habit is seriously hard – but doable. It takes repeatedly behaving as the person you want to be. Scary – maybe even terrifying – but here’s a tip: You might feel shy, but you don’t have to act shy. As I wrote in “Unf*ckology”: “Your feelings are not the boss of you.” (Just because you have a feeling “doesn’t mean you have to go all ‘Yes, your lordship!’ in response.”) We tend not to unpack our fears – ask ourselves, “Yo, Self? What’s the worst that could happen if I go say hi to Hot Stranger Dude?” Unless you can truthfully answer, “I’ll be snatched up and pecked to death by a pterodactyl!” there’s really no good reason not to take the plunge. Nobody’s liked by everybody, but let’s be real: Contrary to your worst fears, other guests at the cocktail party aren’t waiting for you to leave so they can compare notes on how stupid you look trying to eat a mini quiche.
GOT A PROBLEM? Write to Amy Alkon at 171 Pier Ave, Ste. 280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email her at AdviceAmy@aol.com.
©2022, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. Alkon’s latest book is “Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence.” Follow @amyalkon on Twitter or visit blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon.
MARCH 31, 2022 THE ARGONAUT PAGE 17
