LOS ANGELES TIMES SUNDAY CROSSWORD PUZZLE “BEGONE” By MARK McCLAIN
BRAWL STRAPS I’m a woman in my early 20s. The guy I’m dating brought me to meet his friends. His male friends were warm and friendly. The women were awful. One deliberately kept saying my name wrong (it’s not exactly exotic), and two others glared at my miniskirt. Another said something about how low-cut my top was. She made it sound like a compliment, but it was a mean dig. How can these women be so nasty when they don’t even know me? How do I diffuse situations like these? — Upset Nothing like women celebrating other women: “Way to go, girl! Showing everything but your areolas.” When a man has a beef with another man, he’ll be direct about it: hurl insults at the guy’s face and maybe try to renovate his jaw with a barstool. Women fight sneaky-dirty with other women, using covert tactics, explains psychologist Anne Campbell. These include mobilizing a group of women to ostracize a woman, talking trash to men about her looks and how “loose” she is, and offering “compliments” that are actually nasty digs. Give a woman’s confidence a beatdown and she might dim her shine (cover her miniskirt with a shawl and wipe that sexy red lipstick off on her sleeve). Psychologist Tracy Vaillancourt sepa-
rated female research participants into random groups. She compared one group’s reactions to a 20-something woman walking into a classroom dressed “conservatively” (in a looselyfitting shirt and khaki slacks) with the other group’s reactions to the same woman dressed “provocatively” (in a very short skirt and a tight, low-cut shirt). Dressed conservatively, she was “barely noticed by the participants.” When she entered in skin-baring sexywear, almost all the women “aggressed against her.” They rolled their eyes at her, gave her “once-overs” and shot her “death stares.” After she left, many laughed at her, ridiculed her appearance, and/or suggested she was a man-hopping sleaze. You’re a target for the she-hyenas whenever you wear sexy clothing and makeup (like an intense smoky eye with winged eyeliner). Decide whether you have the emotional strength and social capital to bear the glares and backbiting, or whether you need to, say, stock up on some floor-length prairie dresses. This isn’t to say you should immediately assume the worst of all women. However, understanding what you can expect from some might help you stand tall in the face of an attack – remembering that it’s about them, not about you, when they imply that your bedroom’s visitors log rivals Ellis Island’s.
QUARANTINE WOLF I’m a guy in my 30s. Before COVID, I used Tinder to hook up with different women a few times a week. I don’t recognize myself anymore. Yesterday, I was on a date, and the girl was really hot and wanted to go back to my place to have sex. I was weirdly turned off by the idea and called her an Uber home. This isn’t like me, but it keeps happening. Why am I suddenly like this? — Worried If we hadn’t gotten vaccines, we might’ve seen a whole new category of lingerie, a la Victoria’s Crotchless Hazmat Suit. Our body’s immune system protects us by mobilizing warrior cells to fight off invaders like bacteria, parasites and viruses that cause infectious diseases. However, war is costly – whether between nations or inside us. Psychologist Mark Schaller notes that our body’s effort to surround and kill “pathogenic intruders” sucks up calories needed for important bodily functions. It can also be “temporarily debilitating” due to “fever, fatigue and other physiological consequences of an aggressive immunological response.” (You sometimes have to boil the village alive to save the village.)
To avoid these costs, we need to avoid being exposed to disease in the first place. Helping us do that is the job of our “behavioral immune system.” This is Schaller’s term for a suite of psychological mechanisms that function as our early warning system, helping us identify signs of pathogens in our social environment and motivating us to feel, think and behave in ways that keep us from getting invaded by the buggers. For example, social psychology grad student James B. Moran and his adviser, social psychologist Damian Murray, find that reminding research participants of the looming threat of infectious disease puts a damper on the appeal of casual sex and their inclination to have it down the road. Chances are this response explains your own psychological and behavioral shift: stud-turned-monk of COVID-19. There’s no clock on exactly when you’ll be back to your sexual-Wild West self. Should you get nostalgic, keep in mind that you can still dip into some elements of the hookuppy old days, such as “the walk of shame” – though, these days, that’s what we call it when you get yelled at by the old lady down the street for taking out the trash unmasked.
GOT A PROBLEM? Write to Amy Alkon at 171 Pier Ave, Ste. 280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email her at AdviceAmy@aol.com.
©2021, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. Alkon’s latest book is “Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence.” Follow @amyalkon on Twitter or visit blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon.
PAGE 24 THE ARGONAUT AUGUST 5, 2021
ACROSS 1 Impressive sights at affairs 8 Fendi rival 13 Paved 19 Victim of river diversion in Asia 20 Like some R-rated films 21 Comfortable 22 Sports venue where the home team hasn’t won in years? 24 Boulevard feature 25 Invoice no. 26 Brainstorm 27 Dreyfus defender 29 Heavy weight 30 Hubbub 33 Trimming plans 35 Industrial site 37 Like memories to smile about 39 Sock part 41 Hottest, in a way 44 Cattle farm run by bigwigs? 51 __ Stephens: 2017 US Open Women’s Singles champ 52 Tennis feature 53 Isolated work group that hinders corporate efficiency 54 Bone near a calf 56 Belgian artist James 57 Chews like beavers 60 “I __ noticed” 62 Change for a ten 64 Drop the ball 65 Bird rarely on the wing 67 Pitt URL ending 68 Toys “R” Us giraffe mascot 71 Epithet for Henry Ford? 76 Stayed to the bitter end
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87 90 91 94 96 97 98 100 105 107 108 109 110 114 118 120 123 125 126 128 132 133 134 135 136 137
NBA impossibility Hide out Sushi bar order Company named for the exaggerated height of its tallish bottles Bowling headache “Crazy” vocalist Mountain gap Blood bank fluids Blackthorn fruit FD employee Magnate Advice for runners’ practice sessions? Feeling guilty Ducks org. Frozen Four org. Tough goings Like some promises Swan dive revelation Expected result Cause for a claim Not as relaxed Smeltery input French star Powerful fall cleanup tools? Having a twist Bug, for one Gets back to business Sorrowful tune Free-for-all Red Sea land
DOWN 1 Mother of Isaac 2 First-class 3 Totaled 4 Reindeer cousin 5 Japan’s Mount __ 6 Disobedient 7 Org. concerned with youth substance abuse 8 Ramble on
9 Egyptian site of a historic 1799 discovery 10 NFL passing stat 11 Nueve y uno 12 Bat prefix 13 Spicy food truck items 14 Had some 13-Down 15 Purplish veggie 16 TV weather promo about a storm threat? 17 Biblical twin 18 Entertainment center sites 20 Actor Morales 23 Iraq War weapon: Abbr. 28 Vinyl revival items: Abbr. 31 Low USMC rank 32 MLB Hall of Famer Brock 34 Family guys 36 Bar on a truck 38 Chef’s creation 40 Cavern phenomenon 42 [Bo-ring!] 43 Absorbent fabric 44 Many an MIT grad 45 Lawless role 46 Coup d’__ 47 Routing word 48 Respected figure 49 Concerto finale, perhaps 50 Depend 55 Poetic contraction 58 Hot spot service 59 ER demand 61 Research university with a Boston campus 63 Agronomist’s concern 66 School near Windsor 69 Org. created by the 1933 Banking Act
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88 89 92 93 95 99 101 102 103 104 106 111 112 113 115 116 117 118 119 121 122 124 127
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Sense Shades Early number? Buzzed Familiar greeting Fall mall hiree Ship-to-ship greetings Quarters for a spell caster? Actor Schreiber “I’m buying!” Moistens Country whose name ends in the same three letters as its capital Debtor’s note Gull relative Lynn’s father worked in one Primate genus Pain pill target Ignore Provider of shade Harder to get Corn unit Fast flight U.K. military award Goal of an accord Flanged fastener Fashion initials __ face Peace goddess “The Gondoliers” bride Playwright Simon Sierra’s “other” Carpenter’s wedge “Auld Lang __” Cork’s home Maya __, Vietnam Veterans Memorial designer ISP option French king Just right
