LOS ANGELES TIMES SUNDAY CROSSWORD PUZZLE “MOONLIGHTING” By DAVID ALFRED BYWATERS ACROSS 1 Milk consumer 5 2017 Dan Stevens fantasy title role 10 Units of resistance 14 Stop running, with “out” 18 Like zeroes 19 Aerie occupant 20 Heartless 21 Shortly, once 22 Exec working as a lifeguard? 24 Speaks in Spanish 25 Stalwart political group 26 “Accidents will happen,” e.g. 27 Accessory for Astaire 28 .000001 meters 29 Head for the hills 30 Word of technique 32 Sailors working as aromatherapists? 35 Narrow opening 38 Sole 41 City near Nîmes 42 Rough words? 43 Truckload unit 44 Source of perfection, so they say 46 Crossword constructor’s chore 49 Committee head working as a lead guitarist? 51 Stimulate 52 Fawn’s mom 53 Bolt with great speed 54 Get a look at 55 Site of Napoleon’s exile 56 “The __ is silence”: Hamlet’s last words 57 Good guy 59 “To repeat ... ” 62 Puts to work
63 NBA players DOWN 1 Composition working as conclusion Instacart 2 Ardent employees? 3 Volcanic output 68 Badly hurt 4 Small sampling, 71 Not in time as of various 72 “I’m not buying beers that!” 5 Implore 76 Bone: Pref. 6 “It is the __, and 77 Inform Juliet is the sun”: 78 St. with a Romeo panhandle 7 Liquido claro 81 “Uh-oh!” 8 Loses traction 82 Rehab symptoms 9 Asian festival 83 It might be on a 10 Expert in futures? stickie 11 Overreaching 84 Comics working self-confidence as phone 12 Dieter’s breakfast solicitors? 13 Much street talk 88 Correction tools 14 A subway rider 90 Traditional song might save it with the line “Je 15 From every te plumerai” direction 91 Call __ day 16 In close 92 Workplace opposition standards org. 17 Joints with caps 93 Sunlit lobbies 20 Scary story 95 “Gloria in 23 Modernist Excelsis __” 28 Word of Gallic 96 Overdo the gratitude sweetness 31 Frayed 97 Author’s rep 33 Greek goddess working as a for whom a janitor? spring month is 101 Chic retreat named 103 Security device 34 “Divine Comedy” 104 Church official focus 105 “__ Dark 35 Neither bow nor Materials”: HBO pick fantasy series 36 Unsecured 108 Sound 37 Like ancient Peru 112 Farm prefix 39 Bugs 113 Hanukkah potato 40 Pilate’s “Behold!” pancake 44 Small recipe 114 Football player quantity working as a 45 With 100-Down, tailor? 1951 horror film 116 React to a shock whose title role 117 Cultural values was played by 118 City map, James Arness sometimes 46 Ark unit 119 Not just dislike 47 Heavy 120 Pretentious 48 Comes into 121 Equine hue 50 Affectionate 122 Cleopatra’s invitation kingdom 51 Custard dessert 55 Salem-to-Boise 123 Walked
dir. 56 Nation in a Fleming title 58 More torrid 59 Santa __ winds 60 Army NCO 61 Cooling cubes 64 Poe output, aptly 65 Game played on horseback 66 Badly 67 Auto pioneering partner 68 Fashion 69 Studier of signs 70 “I can’t tell” 73 National Poetry Month 74 Brought about 75 Long exam answer 78 Seasonal affliction 79 Wasn’t true 80 Poker hand staple 83 Intend 84 Freighters’ loads 85 From far away (perhaps very far) 86 Bank offering 87 Pontiac muscle cars 89 With uncertainty 93 Mystery award namesake 94 Add at the end 96 Came down with 97 Philanthropist Barton 98 Do-nothing 99 Cool kin 100 See 45-Down 102 Critical critique 106 Wee 107 Dance part 109 Letter opening 110 Fond of 111 Binged (on), as junk food 114 “Shame on thee!” 115 Hairy Addams family member
WHEN HURRY MET SALLY I’m a guy in my 30s. I thought I’d found the love of my life. We had an incredible first few dates. We were so in sync we didn’t even need words to communicate. However, as we’ve spent more time together, things about her are really starting to bother me – especially how she has no interest in the news or the world beyond herself and mostly wants to gossip about her friends and celebrities. How could I have been so wrong about her being The One? — Disturbed There’s fairy tale romance, and then there’s fairy tale romance that’s gotten into a fender-bender with reality: “I will love you forever – uh, or until I learn your interest in international affairs is limited to the relationship status of the Queen’s beefcake great-nephew, aka ‘His Royal Handsome.’” Contrary to that schmaltzo saying, “To know someone is to love them,” to know someone is to be increasingly annoyed by them. This is hard to imagine if we have an instant connection. Psychologist Michael I. Norton and his colleagues explain that when we like someone we’ve just met, we tend to notice all the
ways they seem similar to us, which leads to our liking them more. We then assume getting to know them even better will keep our liking of them on the upswing – an assumption that plays an underrecognized role in the “disintegration of friendships, the demise of business relationships,” and divorce. In fact, peeling the info onion generally leads to our liking a person a whole lot less, explain the researchers. We start to see evidence of “dissimilarity” – ways they aren’t like us – and it has a “cascading” effect. New information we discover about them “is more likely to be interpreted as further evidence of dissimilarity, leading to decreased liking.” When you’re first dating someone, being mindful of how prone we are to leap to “you’re so amazeballs!” (”just like me!”) is the best defense against sliding from the initial seeing into believing. To speed your weeding-out process, you might come up with a mental list – your bottom-line must-haves in a partner. Use this to ask questions (and also observe) to see whether a woman’s ticking all the essential boxes: “You had me at knowing your Kim Jong-il from your Kim Kardashian.”
PLAN BAE I had this amazing chemistry with a guy I met at a wedding. Then he casually dropped that he’s in a new relationship of about six months. A mutual friend told me the guy isn’t too happy with the woman and feels he’s “settling.” The guy’s been texting me in what seems to be a purely friendly way. Still, if I were his girlfriend, I’d be pretty upset. — Confused About His Intentions Say your car skids off the road in North Nowhere and you wake up trapped in the driver’s seat with zero bars on your phone. You’d probably trade your house, your car, and your favorite grandma for some emergency eats in the glove box – even the remains of a granola bar that looks to have been purchased just before the Lewis & Clark expedition. Well, humans seem to have evolved to be romantic doomsday preppers: ready for any sudden famine in the partner department. At the moment, you seem to fall into the category of “backup mate” for this guy, though maybe just because he’s inconveniently still attached to somebody else. Evolutionary psychologists Joshua Duntley and David Buss find that both men and women cultivate backup mates – “approximately three,” on average – whom we can
use to rapidly replace our current long-term mate in case they die, dump us, or cheat, or their mate value takes a dive. Maintaining a romantic plan B cuts the time costs of having to start from scratch – which could be the difference between, say, a man passing on his genes and passing on what could’ve been into an old tube sock. As disturbing (and, perhaps, dirtbaggy) as this partner reserve stock business might seem, Duntley and Buss report that even people in happy relationships seem motivated – often subconsciously – to maintain backup mates. (Not being quite aware of one’s own motives keeps away the guilt that would likely accompany consciously collecting potential relief pitchers.) This guy you met might be figuring out whether to give notice in his current relationship, or, if that’ll be in the pipeline, figuring out how. Consider the potential risks of texting with him: getting emotionally entwined with someone who might remain unavailable and suggesting you need to take whatever romantic scraps you’re given. If you prefer to opt out of these risks, you could tell him you hope to hear from him again but that you’re a woman with standards: “Call me when you’ve lost weight – 125 pounds of excess girlfriend.”
GOT A PROBLEM? Write to Amy Alkon at 171 Pier Ave, Ste. 280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email her at AdviceAmy@aol.com. ©2021, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. Alkon’s latest book is “Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence.” Follow @amyalkon on Twitter or visit blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon.
SEPTEMBER 16, 2021 THE ARGONAUT PAGE 21
