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OPINION
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The Senate in Cinema vs. Sinema in the Senate
Looking at 2023, here are some predictions
BY JD HAYWORTH Tribune Columnist
Remember Bob Smith? Jefferson Smith, he wasn’t…but to be fair, only one man was.
That man was Jimmy Stewart, who portrayed Jefferson Smith in Frank Capra’s classic 1939 film, “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington,” one of the first 25 motion pictures selected for the National Film Registry in 1989.
A year later, the Bob Smith was elected by the people of New Hampshire to the U.S. Senate and in 1996, he narrowly won re-election.
Like so many of his Senate brethren, he decided to set his sights higher.
That’s when any resemblance of Bob Smith to Jefferson Smith became purely coincidental.
In early 1999, Smith announced that he was running for President. Unfortunately, the reaction of Republican voters was as cold and bitter as a New Hampshire winter. So in July, Smith announced he was leaving the GOP to join the Taxpayers Party.
Sadly for Bob, the Taxpayers were also unwilling to donate money or time to his presidential campaign, so one month later he left the Taxpayers Party, declaring himself an Independent.
By early November, Smith had returned to the Republican Party, prompted by the passing of his Senate colleague, John Chafee. Chafee’s death had created a vacancy atop the Committee on Environment and Public Works. The GOP Senate Leadership rewarded Smith with the committee chairmanship, but it wasn’t enough to rescue him from Republicans in his own state.
In 2002, he lost the New Hampshire primary to Rep. John Sununu.
Bob Smith’s “profile in convenience” came to mind upon learning of Sen. Kyrsten Sinema’s departure from the Democratic Party.
Certainly there was “Hollywood-style hyperventilation” on the part of some in the Washington Press Corps, and Sinema herself employed her own “flair for the cinematic,” treating the media opportunities for heralding her Democrat defection like opening night for a major motion picture.
After all, a “My Turn” column in The Arizona Republic and an “exclusive interview” with Jake Tapper on ratings-challenged CNN doesn’t exactly prompt a major tremor in Tinseltown, but an “aspiring actress” has to take advantage of any opportunities that come her way.
The late Senator John McCain (R-Arizona), who made a cameo appearance in the forgettable comedy, “Wedding Crashers,” once offered an unforgettable observation about Washington, D.C. and the people who work there: “Hollywood for the cosmetically challenged.”
Readers of this column can make their own assessments of Sinema’s wardrobe selections and sense of deportment in the Senate, but when it comes to remaining there, it is clear that her newly announced independent status is an effort to “put the best
see HAYWORTH page 19
BY DAVID LEIBOWITZ
Tribune Columnist
Come year’s end, newspaper columnists traditionally look backward, chewing over the past 365 days. “
Year in review” columns bore me, because they’re too easy. Here, we look ahead, reviewing the year that has not yet happened. And 2023 promises to be an epic affair. How so?
Jan. 5, 2023 - In an attempt to upstage the swearing-in of new Arizona Gov. Katie Hobbs, the Cochise County Board of Supervisors votes 2-1 on a proclamation to install Kari Lake as “Governor of Cochise County.”
Afterwards, Supervisor Tom Crosby calls the vote “a unanimous victory for truth.” Lake’s swearing-in, held at the Thirsty Lizard Bar & Grill in McNeal, is drowned out by Karaoke Night.
Feb. 11 - On the Saturday before Super Bowl LVII, the City of Glendale, home to State Farm Stadium, hosts the single pregame event that’s actually in Glendale.
“Hangin’ With Joyce,” a wienie roast in Councilwoman Joyce Clark’s backyard, draws a star-studded crowd of 11 people, including Mayor Jerry Weiers and the long snapper for the Scottsdale Community College Artichokes football team.
April 1 - Losing Arizona Secretary of State candidate Mark Finchem is the victim of a nasty April Fool’s Day prank when a “Commie pinko” Amazon driver substitutes black boot polish for Finchem’s favorite “MAGA Trump Tone™” self-tanner.
Finchem immediately sends out a fundraising request asking donors to contribute money “to help him overturn this sham election and become the first African American Secretary of State in Arizona history.”
May 16 - The Arizona Coyotes lose the public vote to build an arena in Tempe despite offering city residents “free seats for life” at all home games.
The team, which struggled to sell out 5,000-seat Mullett Arena on the ASU campus last season, announces its intentions to move to AZ Ice Peoria. Coyotes President Xavier Gutierrez promises not to disrupt the facility’s weekday morning public skate sessions, “because as a valued public partner and a fan of ice, our organization embraces a diversity of ice skaters, even if I myself cannot ice skate.”
July 4 - Columnist J.D. Hayworth celebrates Independence Day in style, writing his 1,776 consecutive column maligning “liberals,” “Ol’ Joe” Biden,” and the “partisan press.”
Hayworth is honored with the first-ever “Paul Gosar Freedom Fighter Award,” bestowed by the Arizona News Columnist Association. “I literally don’t know how he does it,” says ANCA President David Leibowitz. “Every week, I think he might mention his pet cat or his favorite chicken wing restaurant, but nope – politics every single time. The guy’s a machine.”
Sept. 19 - The Arizona Diamondbacks, out of the pennant chase since May, play a Tuesday night home game against the equally wretched San Francisco Giants.
Despite the game being promoted as “Queen Creek Mayor Julia Wheatley Bobblehead Night,” the announced attendance is only 374 fans. The Diamondbacks win the five-hour affair 1-0 in 14 very slow innings.
Nov. 8 - One year after Election Day 2022, Cochise County Gov. Kari Lake files her 74th legal challenge to the results, in the World Court in The Hague, Netherlands.
face on things” politically.
Unlike Smith and McCain, Sinema harbors no White House ambitions – at least not yet. Instead, she possesses a genuine interest in remaining part of the “world’s most exclusive club.”
Her “departure from the Democratic Party is political performance art, most accurately described as a “detour” around Arizona Democrats.
As an independent, Sinema avoids a potentially bruising primary in 2024 and can concentrate on garnering petition signatures for the General Election ballot – not to mention campaign checks for her burgeoning campaign war chest.
The “giveaway” on all of this came with Sen. Sinema’s request of Democrat leader Sen. Chuck Schumer to keep her committee assignments.
While much has been made of reports that she will not caucus with the Democrats nor conference with the GOP, and that she’s even unsure of where her desk will be placed in the Senate chamber. Sinema has clearly signaled her role as a “stealth Democrat” by entrusting her committee seats to the Senate Democratic leadership.
She is working feverishly on Democrat-friendly legislation to grant amnesty to illegal aliens, which could get done before the Christmas recess.
Politically, the prospect of a three-way race for an Arizona Senate seat in 2024 is intriguing but still a long way off.
For now, get your popcorn ready and watch “Mr. Smith goes to Washington.” Or, given the fact that Christmas is rapidly approaching, watch Stewart’s performance in “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
As for former Sen. Bob Smith, now living in Florida, his Christmas plans are unannounced.
GOT NEWS?
Contact Paul Maryniak at 480-898-5631 or pmaryniak @timeslocalmedia.com
Lake announces the lawsuit in a video filmed at Chuckleheads Bar in Bisbee, the official sponsor of Lake’s new podcast, “Sue Angry: America Fights Back.” Says Lake: “Donate to my legal fund today! Mama needs new shoes.”
Dec. 31 - Scouting for column material in advance of New Year’s, David Leibowitz realizes 2024 will be an election year that may yet again pit Joe Biden vs. Donald Trump and will also feature new Independent Sen. Kyrsten Sinema on the statewide ballot versus a Democrat and a Republican.
Leibowitz invests his life savings in Xanax and plots to turn off his TV for the year ahead.
Now, my friends, we begin the long wait .
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