CURRENTS: CLIMATE CATASTROPHE ON THE HORIZON
MARCH 31- APRIL 6, 2022 • TUCSONWEEKLY.COM • FREE
Southside Eats
More than a dozen great restaurants to try right now
SONORAN EXPLORIN’: Sculpture Tucson Festival
ARTS: Ballet Tucson Scores Another Balanchine
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MARCH 31, 2022
MARCH 31, 2022 | VOL. 37, NO. 13
TUCSONWEEKLY.COM
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STAFF
CONTENTS CURRENTS
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University of Arizona scientists contribute to new international climate report
FEATURE
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Southside restaurants: More than a dozen great restaurants to try right now
CHOW
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The Weekly debuts a new food podcast and teaches you a thing or two about pasta
MUSIC
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Feast on This
ADMINISTRATION Steve T. Strickbine, Publisher Michael Hiatt, Vice President
EDITOR’S NOTE
Tyler Vondrak, Associate Publisher, tyler@tucsonlocalmedia.com Claudine Sowards, Accounting, claudine@tucsonlocalmedia.com Sheryl Kocher, Receptionist, sheryl@tucsonlocalmedia.com
I THINK I MAY HAVE GAINED ABOUT 10 pounds over the last few weeks as I’ve explored the southside restaurant scene. It’s been a few years since I have indulged in such a feeding frenzy and I have to say it was a blast. The old institutions like Mi Nidito and Crossroads are still on their game and newcomers are finding ways to innovate and create delicious dishes. If you haven’t been out much lately, this is a great time to reacquaint yourself with an old favorite and find a new one. (Especially since COVID case numbers are way down and who knows how long they’ll stay that way before the next variant comes along to ruin our lives?) Speaking of food: This week, staff reporters Alexandra Pere and Nicole Feltman are launching the Prickly Pair Podcast, which will focus on the food scene around town. They’ll be exploring what local chefs are cooking up, where to find the best eats these days and much more. You’ll find details on Page 13, along with a couple of recipes from their first guest, PY Steakhouse Executive Sous Chef Roderick LaDesma. Off the food beat this week: Managing editor Jeff Gardner looks at the contributions to the latest international climate change report (spoiler warning: Things are not getting better); Sonoran Explorin’ columnist Emily Dieckman
takes in the Sculpture Tucson Festival; Tucson Salvage columnist Brian Smith is on the hunt for a local homeless man in hopes of reuniting him with his family, who read about their long-lost relative in a previous Tucson Salvage column; arts writer Margaret Regan previews this weekend’s Ballet Tucson performance, which includes a Balanchine dance; UA School of Journalism intern Allison Fagan talks to the author of a book about longtime local reggae band Neon Prophet; XOXO columnist Xavier Omar Otero tells you where to rock this week; Tucson Weedly columnist David Abbott lets you know the latest on cannabis legislation at the Arizona Capitol; and, of course, there are all the usual columns and cartoons spread throughout the book. Finally, a correction: Last week’s obituary of Tony Burgess misstated the year that the University of Arizona took over management of Biosphere 2. It was 2007. Jim Nintzel Executive Editor Hear Nintz talk about all the amazing fun you can have in this burg at 9:30 a.m. Wednesday mornings during the world-famous Frank Show on KLPX, 96.1 FM.
EDITORIAL Jim Nintzel, Executive Editor, jimn@tucsonlocalmedia.com Jeff Gardner, Managing Editor, jeff@tucsonlocalmedia.com Alexandra Pere, Staff Reporter, apere@timespublications.com Nicole Feltman, Staff Reporter, nfeltman@timespublications.com Contributors: David Abbott, Rob Brezsny, Max Cannon, Rand Carlson, Tom Danehy, Emily Dieckman, Bob Grimm, Andy Mosier, Linda Ray, Margaret Regan, Will Shortz, Jen Sorensen, Clay Jones, Dan Savage PRODUCTION Courtney Oldham, Production Manager, tucsonproduction@timespublications.com Ryan Dyson, Graphic Designer, ryand@tucsonlocalmedia.com CIRCULATION Aaron Kolodny, Circulation, aaron@timeslocalmedia.com ADVERTISING TLMSales@TucsonLocalMedia.com Gary Tackett, Account Executive, gtackett@tucsonlocalmedia.com Kristin Chester, Account Executive, kristin@tucsonlocalmedia.com Candace Murray, Account Executive, candace@tucsonlocalmedia.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING Zac Reynolds Director of National Advertising Zac@TimesPublications.com Tucson Weekly® is published every Thursday by Times Media Group at 7225 N. Mona Lisa Rd., Ste. 125, Tucson, Arizona. Address all editorial, business and production correspondence to: Tucson Weekly, 7225 N. Mona Lisa Rd., Ste. 125, Tucson, Arizona 85741. Phone: (520) 797-4384, FAX (520) 575-8891. Member of the Association of Alternative Newsmedia (AAN). The Tucson Weekly® and Best of Tucson® are registered trademarks of Times Media Group. Publisher has the right to refuse any advertisement at his or her discretion.
RANDOM SHOTS By Rand Carlson
New Neon Prophet book chronicles the reggae band’s legacy at Chicago Bar
TUCSON WEEDLY
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Two marijuana bills: The zombie apocalypse is not over yet
Cover image By Jim Nintzel
Copyright: The entire contents of Tucson Weekly are Copyright Times Media Group No portion may be reproduced in whole or part by any means without the express written permission of the Publisher, Tucson Weekly, 7225 N. Mona Lisa Rd., Ste. 125, Tucson, AZ 85741.
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SONORAN EXPLORIN’
PHOTO BY EMILY DIECKMAN
Steve Gevurtz works on a project at Sculpture Tucson Festival.
STEEL, CROCHET, PLASTIC, CLAY
A Day at the Sculpture Tucson Festival: Taking in the many mediums and approaches to art at the largest outdoor sculpture show in Arizona By Emily Dieckman tucsoneditor@tucsonlocalmedia.com MEGAN MCCARTER IS A MOM WHO works 40+ hours a week at a construction company, but, instead of sleeping, she likes to put her BFA in sculpture to work by welding one-of-a-kind art pieces. Her recent work explores themes like infusing femininity into metalwork, or using oxidation to represent how humans change. Her piece, “Feel Free to Shake My Hand” has both of these: fan oxidized head, the suggestion of a feminine torso, and one long arm with spindly phalanges resting on the base. You thank goodness for the title when you see it, because, especially after two years of trying not to touch things, the urge to shake the statue’s hand is near-irresistible. McCarter was displaying her pieces at the Sculpture Tucson Festival Show and Sale earlier this month, along with 44 other artists. It occurs to me, strolling through Brandi Fenton Park, that one thing that makes
sculpture art fascinating is its abundance of medium options. You can build a sculpture out of metal or wood or stone, yes. But you can also make sculptures out of musical instruments (Carlton Bradford), or seashells and shotgun shells (Ralph Prata), or little empty bottles of Fireball whiskey, apparently (Jimmy Descant). The other thing that sticks out is how the sculptures, well, stick out. They’re not afraid to take up space, and they don’t need function or small size or a place on the wall over the mantle to justify their existence. “I’ve never, ever made anything utilitarian, ever,” says Timothy J. Arand-McIlrath, who is selling pieces that combine matrices of colorful glass with crochet and weaving. You can tell they’re influenced by the basketry background he tells me about, but they make me think of tide pools, or neurons firing synapses. “Why are you so against making anything utilitarian?” I ask. He’s not, actually. “I just don’t have interest,” he says. “I’m an artist. I make one-of-a-kind art pieces.” Arand-McIlrath, who wears multicolored
glasses that match his rainbow striped shirt, has a master’s degree in fiber arts from back in the ’60s, and he spent more than 20 years as an art professor at Iowa State University. That’s another lovely thing about art. You can spend years and years studying it, learning about the best way to do it. Or you can just decide to start doing it, and teach yourself along the way. Maybe this is true of all creation—I think about how some parents read books and take parenting classes and have degrees in childhood development, while others just sorta go for it. When I approach Steve Gevurtz, he hands me a packet of information about how, after 30 years as a business executive, he suddenly decided to become an artist, taking classes, attending workshops and visiting art academies in Europe. He’s very kinesthetic, he says. So, he fell in love with sculpture. He works with models on his stunning bronze figures, of women dancing or leaping, arms outstretched. I watch for a bit while he works on the clay for his newest piece, “Lady Corona”—his portrayal of COVID-19 as a woman, racing across the countryside in total joy and terrifying efficiency. Bronze sculpting is an exercise in patience. When Gevurtz is done with the clay piece, he’ll cut off the limbs, and then make separate molds for each of them, as well as
the torso. They’ll each be filled with molten bronze and then all welded together for the finished product. It seems fitting when he tells me one of his most recent pieces was based on something he read somewhere (likely Chris Guillebeau): “Life isn’t about the pursuit of happiness. It’s about the happiness of pursuit.” In contrast, Kevin Caron jokes he chose 3D printing as a medium because he likes that the machine does all of the hard work, leaving him to focus on the imagining. Entirely self taught, Caron became an artist in 2006 after gigs including the military and working at an import car garage. He makes colorful, whimsical shapes that come from his dreams. They look like plants, sea creatures, optical illusions, pillars for palaces built on the tops of clouds. “It’s a trip through the fantasy land for me,” he says. “My work is just a flight of fancy.” ■ You can follow some of these artists on Instagram! @megansmetal, @jimmydescant, @artguyiowa1 (That’s Arand-McIlrath) @ stevegevurtzsculpture and @kevincaronart. And you can follow me on Twitter at @emfurd for more dispatches from the Sculpture Fest and beyond.
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What has really accelerated are these large, high-severity wildfires that have accelerated the transformation of ecosystems that were already underway,” Enquist said. “Last report, we saw numerous mortality events in our forests linked to drought stress, pests and pathogens overwhelming species’ innate capacity to adapt. And this time, we’re seeing that, with these wildfires, particularly in the Western U.S. and Western Canada.” The report states with high confidence that in the Sonoran Desert, there will be further reduced vegetation and rainfall alongside increased temperatures and wildfires. For instance, Enquist said 2020’s Bighorn Fire was an example of these dangerous changes coming together. The Bighorn Fire burned more than 100,000 acres across the Catalina Mountains, fueled by drought, invasive grasses and COURTESY PHOTO build-up of fuels from fire suppression. “It’s really unprecedented in some ways. “What we really found was that the federal government started to step back, and the These extreme fires are not what we’re cities have really stepped up. There’s lots of action and activity in cities across North America, leading the charge on climate adaptation in recent years,” said Carolyn prepared to fight, so it puts a lot of lives, Enquist, an adjunct faculty member with the UA’s School of Natural Resources and the property and ecosystems at risk,” Enquist Environment. said. “So you have this vicious circle that we’re seeing now, with multiple synergistic events that really challenge our ability to adapt effectively. So we’re looking at adaptation in conjunction with mitigation. We need the two, because we can only adapt so much to climate change that is University of Arizona scientists contribute to new international climate report already in the system. There’s this multipronged approach we need.” The report also states that climate change impacts and risks are becoming increasingly complex and more difficult By Jeff Gardner faculty members from the University of to manage. Multiple climate hazards will jeff@tucsonlocalmedia.com Arizona worked on the sixth annual report, released in February 2022, to assess occur simultaneously, and multiple risks will interact, resulting in compounding the “vulnerability of socio-economic and overall risk and risks cascading across FEW PLACES IN THE WORLD ARE natural systems to climate change.” sectors and regions. quite like the Sonoran Desert, but accordCarolyn Enquist, an adjunct faculty The 3,000+ page report discusses much ing to the latest Intergovernmental Panel member with the UA’s School of Natural more than the blunt facts of increased on Climate Change report, it might not Resources and the Environment, is a lead temperatures and environmental stress. be so unique in the coming years. The author for the North America chapter of Chapters also cover the changing culture report’s forecast: Increased temperatures the report. Her work focuses on climate around climate action, the inequality of and drought pose a risk to every conchange’s impact on ecosystems and adaptinent, including to roughly 3.5 billion tation. Enquist said the goal of the report climate change impacts, developing human systems for a more resilient climate people who live in areas that are highly is not to conduct new research, but to vulnerable to climate change. provide an update and expert assessment and more. “What we really found was that the fedThe IPCC report, released every six of new information available since the last eral government started to step back, and years, is a major international collaborareport. the cities have really stepped up. There’s tion of hundreds of scientists. The reports “In terms of impact, our work focused lots of action and activity in cities across examine the impacts, mitigation straton the rapid transformation of ecosysNorth America, leading the charge on cliegies and physical evidence of climate tems. We’re seeing die-back and loss of mate adaptation in recent years,” Enquist change in regions across the world. Two regeneration in some places, like forests.
CURRENTS
DRIER WARNING
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said. “This report also finally acknowledged the contribution of Indigenous knowledge to climate adaptation, and what we as Western scientists can learn and share with our Indigenous partners… We have such a rich cultural heritage in the Southwest with Indigenous knowledge, and we need to bring all our tools, not only for survival, but to thrive.” UA Regents Professor in the School of Geography, Development and Environment Diana Liverman served as a review editor for the report’s final chapter on climate resilience development. “This report confirms that even at the 1.1 degrees Celsius (2 degrees Fahrenheit) global warming already observed, we are seeing dangerous impacts on lives and ecosystems, with increasing losses of life and species projected if we continue to heat the planet,” Liverman said in a prepared statement. “These impacts are exacerbated by poverty, land use change and oppressions that make many people and places more vulnerable.” Anthropogenic climate change remains a needlessly political topic in the face of evidence. According to the World Meteorological Organization, the warmest six years on record have all been since 2015, with 2016, 2019 and 2020 being the top three. NASA, the American Chemical Society, the American Medical Association, the Geological Society of America and many more agree that “human activities are the primary cause of the observed climate-warming trend over the past century.” “The jury is no longer out on the human role in climate change,” Enquist said. “Our conclusion was that we need all hands on deck and we need to be moving from an incremental approach to adaptation, to something that looks more transitional, that we can do faster and more efficiently. Individuals play a role, but governments absolutely do. People do have power to affect what’s going on around them. Numbers can make a difference. We should all be working together as North Americans and bringing different things to the table. No one entity can do it alone.” ■ For more information, visit ipcc.ch
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Story & photos by Brian Smith
Have You Seen This Ghost of Speedway Boulevard? THE FOLLOWING IS ONE OF THE most heart-bending stories I’ve come across. He said his mother had his sister murdered. He had lost contact with all his relatives. I told you about him several weeks ago in these pages (“Jeremy, Portrait In Cardboard and Marker,” Feb. 3). Now, I’ve heard harrowing stories from Jeremy’s relatives from around the country, I am hunting for him. I met Jeremy on that loud, sun-stippled Speedway corridor between Craycroft and Swan Road, which, seen through his eyes, really is the ugliest street in America. Haven’t seen him since the day he told me his story. He has no phone. He sleeps in bushes. He steers clear of shelters. He is a ghost. Some days went like this: A couple blocks south of Speedway, set above a deep arroyo, partially veiled in a forest of Palo Verde and mesquite trees, behind the wall of a beige-toned apartment complex, sat a mini-shanty town, eight tents, bikes, upturned shopping carts. Maybe Jeremy stayed here? A community of a couple dozen, white, Hispanic, Black, Native, sharing smokes or arguing, “You stole it, motherfucker.” I walk in and ask around. One woman, all messed up on G, the gum rot, the sharp knees, the sadness. She’s seen him. On the streets. “Yeah,” said a young Black woman, “are you a detective? You don’t look like one.” She’s not like others here, outwardly healthy, put-together. “He flies [signs], check Walgreen’s and Circle K. That’s where I’ve seen him. He doesn’t stay here.” I’ve checked the Walgreen’s and the Circle K near where Jeremy said he camps, many times. Yes, everybody’s seen him. I go back to shanty town a
week later and the bivouacs have been cleared. The alleyway above the arroyo, now a clear walking path as if no one ever lived there. They vanished. The sign flyers and the change collectors materialize and dematerialize, weekly, daily, hourly. Young women not yet ravaged by the elements, old white men with their dogs, the sad wheelchair rollers in bike lanes, the addicts, the sick, the lost, the hirsute Deadhead anachronisms … pick your cliché and apply it: to passersby nothing matters except maybe that these folks are still somehow alive in the universe. That’s what Jeremy knew. He knows exactly where he is. I drove and walked, evenings, mornings, afternoons. Took my 8-year-old son Reece out with me a few times. The boy has a roof over his head, food to eat and parents who adore him. He needs to see and interact with a flipside to continue to learn to breathe empathy. I’d leave my phone number with small amounts of cash to other houseless sign flyers who recognized Jeremy from my photos, who said they’d likely see him again. No one called. See, after my story appeared I learned one of Jeremy’s relatives in Tennessee read it and alerted Jeremy’s aunt in Wickenburg, Arizona. They reached out with outpourings of love for their missing nephew, for whom they’ve searched for years. Shane, the half-uncle who gave Jeremy guitar lessons when he was a boy. Melissa, who did what she could for him when he was in terrible hands. And I learned of a deep-rooted family yarn that traces back decades, involving myriad tragedies; broken homes, molestation, kidnapping, foster care, adoption, murder. A story that turned back on itself, saw family members conjoin after
years apart to find some degree of peace and love with each other. It turns out that Jeremy’s sister was not murdered, yet, incredibly, there was a funeral for her in 1980. She is Erin Wiley, alive and well in Springfield, Missouri, a 42-year-old mother of five. The lost sister burst into tears when she learned Jeremy was alive. ON THE PHONE, 57-YEAR-OLD Melissa Karnes is kind, sensitive, grateful, and articulate. When talking of her birth family, she transmits remorse in one sentence and sometimes shifts to joy in another. A big husky laugh. She is happy, she says, with grown children and grandchildren, and runs a Mobile
Home and RV Park in Wickenburg. Melissa explains the family’s dissolution began with Jeremy’s grandfather, her biological dad. Back in the ’60s, he got caught molesting Melissa’s oldest sister Rita when she was 12 years old. He went to prison. With six children left to raise by herself, in Clifton, Arizona, mom eventually lost it. “My mother had met a man and went out for the night and left us with our 12-year-old sister.” Two weeks passed and mom hadn’t returned and Rita called a woman the family named “the town babysitter.” The children were starving, no diapers, no baby formula, no food for anyone. The town babysitter called CPS, and all six kids, including Melissa and Jeremy’s birth mom Diane,
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were taken away, put into the hands of the state and separated into foster care. “Some kids ended up in different cities,” Melissa says. “I was the baby. I was the only one of my siblings who got adopted. I was lucky and have a happy life. It was a really sad situation for Diane and Rita, for all of them. None of them got what I got. They all bounced around a lot. They went through so much trauma.” The very short end of the story is Melissa, through Ancestry.com and other means, including newspaper ads, hours of research, and DNA testing, tracked down all of her siblings in various parts of the country. She was the magnet that brought the family back together. Her family extended beyond her five siblings too. Between different fathers and mothers, she found 14. She has a deep knowledge and examination of her biological family history, and stories unfold in such dear, tragic ways, like something Flannery O’Connor would’ve put down. Melissa began piecing it all together in 1985 when she took a family seeking ad out in the Phoenix Gazette, which turned up her birth mother. “I later found every sibling by fate. It was crazy and amazing,” Melissa says. “When we were thinking of each other we found each other, in ways, almost as if we had telepathic thoughts.” Finding and then later forgiving her biological mother was an arduous, painful process for Melissa, which took years. Now the two talk often, and the mom, now in her 80s, lives in Tennessee. “It didn’t go well, meeting my mother for the first time,” Melissa says. “I had parents, I was adopted. I went to my birth mother for truth. I wanted her to say she made the mistakes. I know what it’s like to be a single parent. She kept saying, ‘Your dad, your dad, your dad.’ She didn’t want to take any responsibility. I don’t know why, but I knew I had to forgive her. So, on my birthday, maybe 15 years ago, I got a call from her, and she poured her heart out. She took responsibility for her mistakes, putting a man before her children. I didn’t expect it. It was a hard phone call for both of us. She told me what I wanted to hear and I forgave her. I enjoy my conversations with my mother now.” Melissa’s brother Ricky ended up in
prison for murder. “He was hungry,” she says, and pauses. “At 17 and hit a convenience-store clerk on the head for a loaf of bread. Did 30 years in prison.” Adds, “A lot of the kids [from the family] suffer from mental illness from so much trauma, and it is hard.” Her sister Rita, Jeremy’s aunt (who was born when her birth mom was just 13) ended up a prostitute in Phoenix, run over on a freeway by her pimp in the early ’90s. “Rita had turned to prostitution,” Melissa says in a rueful tone. “I met her in person only once. I was not comfortable with her living arrangement, to say the least, although I accepted her. She told me her version of what had happened with our mom and then she sort of ushered me out the door. She was worried for my safety where she was living. Yes, she was murdered, I actually saw it on the news, the freeway where she was hit, her things scattered around. I didn’t know it was her until later because she was first listed as Jane Doe.” Too, Melissa found her sister Diane, Jeremy’s mother, around 1989 or ’90. Diane showed up on her doorstop for a few days with Jeremy. Mom had kidnapped him from an Arizona children’s home. “They were staying with me for a weekend, but I was harboring a fugitive because she had stolen her son,” she says. (Jeremy hinted to me of getting molested by his mother, and talked of severe abuse. Several states had taken Jeremy away from her.) Melissa recalls Jeremy huffing paint that weekend, likely with his mom, it was so bad he had to be taken to the hospital. She called the center from which he was kidnapped and they told her to let him go, because he was 17. And cops made no arrests. “The mental illness with the siblings was tough,” Melissa says, “and I had to focus on my own kids. I absolutely could not be around that.” Diane took Jeremy away, probably to Tennessee. That was the last time Melissa laid eyes on Jeremy or her sister. Now, the bizarre story with Erin Wiley, Jeremy’s year-and-a-half-older sister. She was born Christina Marie Schultz. She was weeks old in 1980 when the parents, Diane and Curtis, went out
one night in Phoenix. A woman named Lorna (who has assorted last names) offered to babysit. “Allegedly,” Melissa says, “when my mother Diane returned home the baby was gone.” No one knows why this Lorna took the baby, or if the mother had hired her to kill the newborn, which is what Jeremy believed. “I believe Lorna knew my sister’s intentions and got that baby out of there,” Melissa says. “I think she saved Erin.” ON THE PHONE FROM HER Missouri home, Erin, who works as a medical assistant, is soft-spoken, chooses words carefully, and nothing of her child history sounds like unwilling knowledge. Her quest for personal history began in the feints and pokes of kid curiosity. Erin says, “I was young, maybe 9, nosing around in my parent’s papers and discovered I was adopted.” Her story continues: So, Lorna kidnaps Erin, and soon shows up in Kansas City at her aunt’s house asking her to take care of the baby. The aunt knew immediately the baby wasn’t Lorna’s, and said “no way.” Lorna disappeared. Lorna’s aunt contacted the police, told them this baby may have been kidnapped. The cops discovered Lorna was from Phoenix. Around the same time, a baby was found dead in a sack in Kansas City. The cops knew about the missing baby from Arizona who wound up in Kansas City. There was no way to prove in 1980 who this baby was or to whom she belonged. They figured the baby was Erin. One detective wasn’t so sure, and Melissa’s birth mother kept in contact with him, for years. Once DNA testing became widely available, Erin’s birth mom Diane was called in to do a DNA test. She did and it didn’t match the dead baby. That dead baby was not Jeremy’s sister. Meanwhile, Lorna named the baby Bonnie, created a fake birth certificate, and turned up in Texas with the child. She roomed with strangers, ditched the baby there and vanished. The baby ended up in child protective services, an official Jane Doe by the courts. Christina became Bonnie became Jane
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Doe became Erin within the first year of her life. She was adopted at eight months by benevolent parents, given a birthdate and Social Security number by a judge, and the name Erin. She grew up outside of Houston. She talks of the love for and from her adoptive parents. “Those are my parents,” Erin says. “My dad passed, and I’m still close with my mom.” Incredibly, five years ago, a relative from Erin’s adopted family contacted Melissa, because Erin’s own daughter had done a DNA search on behalf of her mother. Melissa and family soon learned a shocker: her niece was alive. Joyful contacts ensued. Melissa got a number for her sister Diane (Erin and Jeremy’s birth mom) a few years ago, and Erin willed up the nerve and called her. (“I just wanted to know.”) She was met with coldness and apathy. That was that, Erin says. She has some pictures of her birth parents getting married, and her dad, Curtis, was a biker, a Hell’s Angel, and, by accounts, an empathy-free sociopath like her mother. He died in 2017. There are other siblings of Jeremy and Erin, two by her birth father, and there may be a third. She’s still looking for them. It didn’t overwhelm her emotionally when she learned of her biological family story. “Not really,” she says. “It makes me more interested to know about myself. Where I came from. “I really want to meet my brother,” she continues. “I want him to be okay, want him to know that I am alive.” As a way of generous disclaimer, she says, “Diane and Curtis were young; she was 16 when I was born.” Then she adds, “CPS said my mother did drugs and drank when she was pregnant with me. I had tremors in my legs. I guess I’m lucky I turned out fine. You know, the detective who worked the case years ago told me that the kidnapping is the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me. And I agree.” ■ Please, if anyone sees or talks to Jeremy Kimble, help return him to his family, and to meet the sister he thought was murdered. Contact: 520-302-4855.
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Southside Eats
More than a dozen great restaurants to try right now newcomers reinventing what Mexican food is all about, sometimes from a taco truck. The Tucson Weekly Chow Desk spent the last few weeks blowing our diet by TUCSON IS FAMOUSLY HOME TO THE checking out some of the finest southBest 23 Miles of Mexican Food, at least side options available. It was our most according to Visit Tucson, which annu- delicious assignment in some time and ally throws a party dedicated to the con- we can report that the dining options cept. And while your mileage may differ are as good as ever. as to the exact length, it’s undeniably But even as we were rolling up South true that any road to the best Mexican 12th Avenue or driving down Irvingfood runs through the southside, from ton Road, we saw so many places we the legendary strip of South Fourth Ave- didn’t have time to check out before our nue institutions that have been open for deadline. So don’t consider this a list of a half-century or longer, to innovative the absolute best, but more a sampling By Alexandra Pere, Nicole Feltman and Jim Nintzel tucsoneditor@tucsonlocalmedia.com
ice cream sandwich sprinkled with from the rich buffet that’s available these days. We’ll be back for more in the cereal like Fruity Pebbles or Cinnamon Toast Crunch. (Could be he’s plotting future. on going back into the dental biz after he builds a customer base selling these Deliciocho. The little taco patio opened about a year ago. Owner Emilio things?) Soto calls himself a foodie and has a savvy Instagram feed to show Soto grew up in a family food biz and off his creations. It’s definitely a family decided, after giving up on the idea of affair here. His mom runs the shop working in the dental biz, to return to with him, and his grandma makes the his roots. We’re glad he did. His menu delicious birria. Located on Old Nogales is both simple and innovative: Tacos Highway just north of Valencia Road, it and burritos (made with fresh tortillas can be a bit of an excursion but it’s oh so from the El Triunfo Bakery next door) worth the drive. 6308 S. Nogales Highare paired with dynamite agua frescas way. (520) 294-2600. and raspados. And then there are the desserts, which include a churro-based
Voted Best Chef & Voted Best Birria
Reader’s Choice Best Tacos
4573 S. 12th Avenue • 520-300-6289
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Rollies Mexican Patio. Owner and chef Mateo Otero has won some big accolades since opening this tiny but stylish restaurant with outdoor seating under a patio roof, including winning Tucson Weekly’s Best Chef award. He deserves all the praise. It’s fast casual here with ordering at a window, but the food is extraordinary, especially the birria (which, in a triumph of food fusion, is available in a ramen option a few days a week). Whether you go with the usual tacos, quesadillas or enchiladas or try something more exotic like the birria cheesecrisp burger, you’re going to be delighted when you take your first bite. 4573 S. 12th Ave. (520) 300-6289. rolliestucson.com. El Salva-Twist. Looking for an international experience in the middle of the desert? El Salva-Twist offers two international cuisines out of a small food truck with outdoor patio seating on Park Avenue between Drexel and Irvington roads. Choose from the El Salvadorian menu or the French menu to take a trip around the world without airfare. El Salva-Twist makes traditional food pop with pupusas from the El Salvador menu or poutine from the French menu. Don’t forget to add a Kolashanpan (a traditional Salvadorian soda) to your meal. 5302 S. Park Ave. (520) 345-8688. elsalvatwist.com. Mr. K’s Original BBQ. Barbecue might not be the first thing you imagine when thinking about dinner choices in Tucson’s southside, but Mr. K’s is a solid choice. Hundreds of miles from Texas, Mr. K’s offers authentic lick-yourfingers barbecue. Flavorful smoked meats, dynamite sauces, generous servings, excellent prices and a kind staff combine to make this barbecue joint a can’t-miss spot. We recommend the brisket sandwich with a side of Texas beans. 6302 S. Park Ave. (520) 792-9484. Pat’s Chili Dogs. This westside institution stretches the definition of southside eateries, but no list of legendary local eateries would really be complete without it. If you’re in the
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mood for a spicy chili dog and a box of fries, is there any other destination than Pat’s? Messy and unhealthy but totally delicious. 1202 W. Niagra St. (520) 6240891. Los Olivias Pizza. This pizzeria is also more westside than southside but they make a terrific pie alongside standout sandwiches, salads and Italian dishes such as lasagna and seafood cioppino with pasta capellini. Hey, you can only eat so many tacos before you want a change of pace. 937 W. Congress St. (520) 624-0155. orderlosolivos.com El Torero. After being shuttered for a few years, El Torero is back, to the delight of many longtime fans. Tucked away just off South Fourth Avenue on 26th Street, El Torero has brought back many of its old favorites—don’t miss La Bandera, a trio of enchiladas in the colors of the Mexican flag—and is JIM NINTZEL experimenting with new dishes, some Rollies Mexican Patio: Chef Mateo Otero is a favorite of Tucson Weekly readers. of which feature fancy cuts like wagyu beef from Forbes Meat Market alongside plant-based options like a vegan tamale pie or a chopped shrooms burro. The most unique flavor experience in Tucson! Plus, you can get those famous Lerua tamales here. Well worth revisiting if you were once a regular. 231 E. 26th St. (520) 622-9534. eltorerotucson.com. El Triunfo Bakery. There’s nothing like a fresh flour tortilla—and at El Triunfo Bakery, you’ll find some of the freshest tortillas in town, as well as bolillos for your tortas and a wide range of delicious Mexican pastries for your coffee. This is simple and delicious, just like life ought to be. 6350 S. Nogales Highway. (520) 573-1884. Crossroads Restaurant Drive In. This South Fourth Avenue institution is still serving traditional Sonoran-style burros, tacos, enchiladas and the like, just like it has since 1936. Crossroads is open 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. weeknights and until midnight on Friday and Saturday and features a buffet from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. You don’t stay in business for CONTINUED ON PAGE 10
6308 S Nogales Hwy #4
@deliciocho_
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SOUTHSIDE RESTAURANTS CONTINUED FROM PAGE 9
more than eight decades without doing something right. 2602 S. Fourth Ave. (520) 624-0395. crossroadsfinemexican. com. Tacos y Hotdogs El Manatial. This food truck packs a whole lot of flavor into one small space. Alongside mouth-watering tacos, they make a Sonoran hot dog that’s among the best in town. If you’re not in the mood for a bacon-wrapped weiner, we recommend checking out their excellent carne asada meals. We’re particularly fond of the carne asada burrito. Park Avenue and 36th Street. (520) 429-4248.
EMILIO SOTO
Fresh fruit in the raspado and a cereal-coated churro on top: The spectacular creations at Deliciocho.
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BEST EMPANADAS BEST PANADERIA (520) 573-1884 • 6348 S Nogales Hwy Tucson, AZ
Carnitas la Yoca. You’ll find a wide variety of tacos, including some traditional albeit exotic options such as cabeza (or head) and pork stomach. The birria is a solid contender in the low-key birria battle now underway
among local chefs. These tacos may be adventurous for some, but others are reminded of home. 3530 S. Sixth Ave. (520) 907-2662. ordercanitaslayoca.com Tacos Apson. This beloved joint— which delivers some of Tucson’s finest tacos—is named after the Apson Boys, a ’60s band that led Mexico’s “Northern Invasion,” a movement that featured other musical styles besides rock ’n’ roll and encouraged kids to explore other musical avenues. All of the group members were from the border town of Agua (A) Prieta (P), Sonora (SON), forming the name Apson. Legendary music, legendary tacos. 3501 S. 12th Ave. (520) 670-1248. tacosapson.com. Mi Nidito. This family owned restaurant remains one of Fourth Avenue’s best-known institutions. “My Little Nest” has been around since 1952 and just gets better with age. Mi Nidito has hosted musical legends, Hollywood stars and even President Bill Clinton, who has an entire platter named after him. (It’s enough to feed your entire
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JIM NINTZEL
One of the wonderful lunch specials at Little Mexico.
family.) Just be patient, as you may have to wait for a table. But it’s always worth it! 1813 S. Fourth Ave. (520) 6225081. minidito.net Taqueria De Pico de Gallo. This hole-in-the-wall is a legendary stop for a reason. Besides the hand-made corn tortillas, phenomenal horchata and many sopas to choose from—all under $10 —they serve up the amazing Pico de Gallo fruit cup with a dusting of chile powder. After traveling the country for opportunities in the restaurant biz, PY Steakhouse Sous Chef Rodrick LeDesma says Pico de Gallo was one of the first places he visited upon his return to Tucson. “I was real emotional when I had it,” he remembers. “I was like, oh my God, I miss this. It was so good.” 2618 S. Sixth Ave. (520) 623-8775. Little Mexico. We loved the atmosphere in this little gem with bright-colored walls festooned with paintings, retablos and beer signs. Plenty of traditional offerings alongside seafood and wonderful service. 698 W. Irvington Road. (520) 573-2924. 2851 W. Valencia Road. (520) 578-8852. littlemexicotucson.com
El Merendero. This small cafe brings a lot of big flavor to the plate. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner, It carries all the usual fare, with tacos, burros, enchiladas and the like, but we really loved the cocido, a beef soup with cabbage, zucchini, carrot and a cob of corn you can lift out right out of the bowl and chew the kernels right off. And don’t miss the toritos—shrimp-stuffed peppers wrapped in bacon and soaked in soy sauce. So good! 5443 S. 12th Ave. (520) 294-1522. elmerenderotucson.com. Delicias Mexican Grill. This humble eatery, open since 2019, is a dynamite addition to the southside food scene that draws a crowd all day long, whether it’s for breakfast, lunch or dinner. On the afternoon we stopped by, Mexican pop music videos on the TV provided a lively soundtrack. The menu is more than a dozen pages, so you can bet you’ll find something you like. Traditional favorites like tacos and burros are served alongside elaborate seafood dishes. The lunch special is generous enough that you’ll take home at least half for dinner. 4581 S. 12th Ave. (520) 203-8396. deliciasmexicangrill.com ■
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Editor’s Note: While we are delighted to see Tucsonans once again gathering for fun events, we are also aware that variants are in circulation. Please consider getting vaccinated against COVID if you haven’t yet. Fourth Avenue Street Fair. I know that plenty of other cities have street fairs, and the Old Pueblo has its share of events that truly don’t happen anywhere else. But still, something about the street fair feels quintessentially Tucson. Maybe it’s because it’s on Fourth Avenue, or because it features local entertainment, or because it’s carefully timed to be during the times of year where the weather here is outstanding. Whatever it is, it’s brought hundreds of thousands of people to town each year for more than 50 years. There’s something for absolutely everyone. 10 a.m. to dusk Friday, April 1 to Sunday, April 3. Fourth Avenue. Big Tree Hunter. Did you know that the Arizona Department of Forest and Fire Management has something called the “Arizona Magnificent Tree Program?” It’s all about honoring the largest trees of their species (Champion Trees), those with cultural significance (Heritage Trees) and those proven to be in place since Arizona Statehood in 1912 (Witness Trees). To honor these trees, they first must find them, and then periodically reverify them. They have an army of volunteers who use hypsometers, Biltmore sticks and forestry measuring tape to calculate the scores of trees. If you’re interested in becoming a volunteer for this adorably niche program, come to this workshop—you’ll even receive a “tree measurer certificate.” 8:30 a.m. to noon. Saturday, April 2. Tohono Chul, 7366 Paseo del Norte. Free, but RSVP online. The Three Musketeers. Get ready to do some laughin’ over at the Gaslight Theatre, where the fate of France is hanging in the balance! Will the evil Prime Minister Roquefort overthrow King Louis’ XIV’s throne? Or will his royal guard, the Three Musketeers, be able to snuff out the mischief? Come join the silliest theatre troupe in town for a night of fun, farce and shenanigans, plus the added bonus of an evil twin. As the famous saying goes, “All for one and puns for all!” Thursday, March 31, to June 5. Gaslight Theatre, 7010 E. Broadway. $27 GA, $25 senior/student/military, $15 kids. $17 for balcony seats. See thegaslighttheatre.com for more info.
Grace Rosario Perkins: The Relevance of Your Data. The newest exhibition at MOCA Features 14 large-scale paintings by Grace Rosario Perkins, a Diné/Akimel O’odham selftaught painter who is presenting her first solo museum exhibition. Her vibrant, multilayered paintings examine the way our personal data is used to categorize, assign value to, or erase our very identities—often in ways that are particularly harmful to people of color. She invited several collaborators, including her father, Olen Perkins, to participate in art and performances for the exhibit. Public opening 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. on Saturday, April 2, with an artist talk and performance at 5 p.m. On display from Saturday, April 2, through Oct. 16 at the Museum of Contemporary Art Tucson, 265 S. Church Ave. Hours are 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Thursday through Saturday and 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sundays. $7 adults, $4 students and seniors, free for youth.
by Emily Dieckman Curious Conversations, Inspired by the Blues Shows at the Fox. Come on down to the Fox for a celebration of the blues here in Southern Arizona. Arizona Blues Hall of Famer and founder of the Tucson Musicians Museum George Howard, who has been in the music scene for more than 40 years, will be sharing stories about jazz in the Old Pueblo. You can also hop on via Zoom to be part of this storytelling event and informal chat. 1 p.m. Wednesday, April 5. Fox Theatre, 17 W. Congress St., or tune in virtually at foxtucson.com. Free. Tucson Roadrunners vs. Rockford. As the temperatures start going up, hockey is still going down over at the Tucson Convention Center, and this weekend you have two chances to support our home team as they play against the Rockford IceHogs. Friday is Fiesta Friday, where you can purchase a party pack with free concessions or an El Lazo Pack with t-shirts and a special puck. Saturday is Autism/Sensory Awareness Night, at which the first 1,000 fans will receive Sensory Pop Pads. 7 p.m. Friday, April 1, and Saturday, April 2. Regular tickets start at $15, but see tucsonroadrunners.com for more info on special game packs. Tucson Arena, 260 S. Church Ave.
You and Me and the Space Between. Finegan Kruckemeyer is Australia’s most accomplished children’s playwright, and he doesn’t disappoint with this tale of wonder and invention opening at Scoundrel and Scamp this weekend. When the island of Proud Circle springs a leak, its citizens must band together to prevent their home from disappearing completely. To do it, they need the creativity and imagination of a child. This show blends storytelling, choreographed projections and live drawn animation to explore the plight of refugees fleeing environmental change. Friday, April 1, to Sunday, April 17, with preview shows on Thursday, March 31, and Friday, April 1. 7:30 p.m. shows Thursdays through Saturdays and 2 p.m. on Sundays. Scoundrel & Scamp Theatre at the Historic Y, 738 N. Fifth Ave. $131. $30 GA, $28 seniors, $15 student/teacher/theater artist. NatureMed Dirt Fest. If you’ve ever thought dispensaries should be hosting music festivals, then we’ve got good news for you. As Nature Med puts it, “community has always been at the heart of cannabis,” so this two-day event full of music, drinks and food trucks—just a five-minute drive from the dispensary—just makes sense, doesn’t it? Saturday is rock-focused, featuring The Dirt, Mr. SKynrd, Drop D and more. Saturday is a country tribute featuring Vegas McGraw, Backroads, Billy Shaw Jr. Band, County Line and more. BYOC—that’s bring your own CHAIRS, because seating isn’t provided. Gates open at 2 p.m. on Saturday, April 2, and Sunday, April 3. The Station, 8235 N. Silverbell Road. $10 for one day or $15 for two. 80s Dance Party at the Surly Wench Pub. Sometimes at the end of a long week, what we really need is just to jump around dancing and screaming to eighties music. And, depending on how bad the week was, legwarmers and big hair might may be in order as well. So thank goodness to the Surly Wench for making our dreams come true this week with a night full of the Beastie Boys, Salt N Pepa, Michael Jackson, The Psychedelic Furs and David Bowie. Dress up, or come as yourself, and get lost in the disco lights, music videos and nostalgia. 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. Saturday, April 2. Surly Wench Pub, 424 N. Fourth Ave. $5. 21+.
MARCH 31, 2022
• Salt and pepper to taste • Freshly grated parmigiano reggiano to taste Bring a pot of salted water to a boil. Cook spaghetti according to your package directions. (typically 10-12 min for dry and about 2.5 – 3 min for fresh). While pasta is cooking, have a medium-large pan over medium heat. Add olive oil and sliced garlic. Cook ‘til your garlic starts to turn golden brown on the edges. Turn off heat and add in chile flakes, lightly toast for about 10 seconds and add in parsley. Make sure you don’t let your garlic or chile flakes get too brown, you want to keep it nicely golden. When it is, add about ½ cup of pasta water to your pan with your cooked pasta. Toss together and season with salt and pepper. Finish with freshly grated Parmigiano Reggiano, if desired.
CHOW
PHOTO BY NICOLE FELTMAN
Roderick LeDesma slices garlic on a mandoline at PY Steakhouse.
MEET THE PRICKLY PAIR The Weekly debuts a new food podcast and teaches you a thing or two about pasta By Alex Pere and Nicole Feltman apere@tucsonlocalmedia.com
THIS WEEK, TUCSON WEEKLY LAUNCHES THE Prickly Pair Podcast, featuring staff reporters Alexandra Pere and Nicole Feltman. In the coming episodes, Pere and Feltman will be talking with chefs, restaurant owners and other folks who make it so much fun to navigate our UNESCO City of Gastronomy. You’ll find the Prickly Pair Podcast at TucsonWeekly.com and most streaming platforms. Follow the show on Instagram @pricklypairpodcast. The first guest is Roderick LeDesma, executive sous chef of PY Steakhouse at Casino Del Sol. One of LeDesma’s favorite movies has a classic line that the hosts of the Prickly Pair Podcast hold dear to their hearts: “Anybody can cook.” (Yes, Pixar’s Ratatouille got a shoutout in the first episode of a food podcast, which is not that surprising.) The line rings true, depending on your access to ingredients. To extend the chance to learn some kitchen skills to even the most frugal college student, the Prickly Pair hosts ask their guests to provide easy (and cheap!) recipes our readers or listeners can make at home. LeDesma’s recipes include two Italian pasta dishes: spaghetti aglio e olio and spaghetti cacio e pepe. Each takes less than 15 minutes to make. SPAGHETTI AGLIO E OLIO • 1 pound spaghetti • 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil • ¼ teaspoon chile flakes • ¼ cup chopped Italian parsley • ¼ cup thinly sliced garlic
SPAGHETTI CACIO E PEPE • 1 pound spaghetti • 4 tablespoons unsalted butter, divided in half • 1 teaspoon coarsely ground black pepper (freshly cracked is best) • 2 ounces, roughly 1 cup, finely grated Pecorino Romano (substitute Parmigiano Reggiano if needed) • Salt to taste Bring a pot of salted water to a boil. Cook spaghetti according to your package directions (typically 10 to 12 minutes for dry pasta and about two and a half to three minutes for fresh). While pasta is cooking, have a medium-large pan over medium heat. Melt two tablespoons of butter in the pan and add freshly cracked black pepper. Toast pepper ‘til fragrant. Add in ¼ cup pasta water and your cooked spaghetti and toss with freshly grated pecorino romano (or Parmigiano Reggiano) and the remaining two tablespoons of butter. Add more pasta water if needed to get a smooth, creamy sauce. Season with salt to taste and finish with more freshly grated pecorino and black pepper. A good rule of thumb to get perfect al dente pasta is to cook it for about 1 minute less than the package says and finish cooking in the pan with your sauce. ■
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ARTS & CULTURE
PHOTO COURTESY OF BALLET TUCSON
This Friday through Sunday, Ballet Tucson hosts a collection of classics at their Spring Concert series.
CARE TO DANCE? Ballet Tucson scores another Balanchine
By Margaret Regan tucsonweekly@tucsonlocalmedia.com
with Sarah Wilkerson and Casey Johnson in featured roles. The women are wearing navy blue, long-sleeved velvet tops, with fluorescent tutus, each one a different color. Mullin describes them TCC Leo Rich Theater, 260 S. Church Ave. as, “very bright, very fun, and actually 7 p.m. Friday, April 1; 2 p.m. Saturday, April 2; 2 p.m. Sunday, April 3 pretty beautiful.” $50 general admission; $45 seniors/students/ “No Holds Barre’d” is “definitely a military piece Ross made to have fun.” For tickets, call the TCC Box Office at 520-791For the grand finale, the Bill Ganz 4101 or Western Band provides classic cowboy ticketmaster.com or ballettucson.org tunes for “Saddle Up.” Mark Schneider For COVID protocols, see ballettucson.org created this fun dance that turns some 27 ballerinas and gentleman dancers into rootin’ tootin’ rompers and prancers, partnering around the stage. Last is a different color, and as Mullin says, “flirting fun with a 1920s feel.” The lucky danced in 2018 with the band live, alas performers are Danielle Cesanek, Vasily this time their music is recorded. “It’s a really charming piece, and Boldin, Francesca Poznanski, Eric Trope, Mark’s another one who really wants the Madeleine Kuebler, and Skyler Burson. audience to have fun,” says Mullin. “It’s Next up, guest choreographer Kiyon a nice way to close the season, and, after C. Ross will bring out his “No Holds such a challenging time, it’s wonderful Barre’d,” an electrifying 14 minutes of to have something that celebrates dance. The work will be performed by Tucson and the Southwest.” ■ the company for the first time. Seven women and one man do the dancing,
Ballet Tucson reINVIGORATE Spring Concert
their radar and have an annual conversation with them.” It’s easy to see why the famously strict Trust has been giving the nod to Ballet GEORGE BALANCHINE’S BALLET Tucson: the 36-year-old company is “Who Cares?” will be the highlight getting better and better every year. of Tucson Ballet’s Spring concert this This weekend’s concert will show weekend. their stuff in spades. Balanchine’s “Who “We are very excited about that!” Cares?” opens the show. says Margaret Mullin, associate artistic “‘Who Cares?’ is a really exciting one director. The jazzy dance, inspired by for the dancers,” Mullin says. “It’s dazBalanchine’s love affair with New York zling, very challenging. It really pushes City, “is the fifth Balanchine piece in our the dancers. They will be on their game repertory.” dancewise.” In the last few years, the company has Sometimes the piece deploys a huge performed a cavalcade of favorite Balnumber of dancers, but more often it is a anchines: “Serenade” from 1935; “Doni- “concert version with a more condensed zetti Variations,” 1960; and “Walpurgiscast,” she says. This performance will nacht,” 1975. The 1941 gem, “Concerto have six dancers performing to a medley Barocco,” was planned for March 2020, of American jazz. Mullin notes, “Balbut was shut down by Covid. Ballet anchine was a big fan of Ginger Rogers Tucson gave it a a triumphant return last and Fred Astaire. The piece really is his fall. love letter to music (and choreography) Permission to dance Balanchine’s of that period of time.” work is hard to come by. To dance all The costumes will be “ballet friendthese treasures, companies “have to ly—no long dresses,” she laughs. The be approved by the Balanchine Trust,” men will be in jazz pants and button-up Mullin explains. “We have had a relation shirts and “the ladies will wear short with them the past few years so we’re on dresses with lots of jewels.” Each dress
SORENSEN
MARCH 31, 2022
MUSIC
TUCSONWEEKLY.COM 17
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New Neon Prophet book chronicles the reggae band’s legacy at Chicago Bar By Allison Fagan tucsoneditor@tucsonlocalmedia.com FOR NEARLY FOUR DECADES, anyone driving past the eastside Chicago Bar has seen a marquee that features Tucson reggae band Neon Prophet. The band has been playing at the bar since the 1980s. Author Harvey Burgess documents that enduring legacy in the new book Reggae Night: Neon Prophet at the Chicago Bar. The longtime band has produced a unique combination of reggae, funk, hip-hop and soul. This spirit, as well as a massive number of local shows, has made them a Tucson mainstay. “It’s been a blessing for this project to fall into my lap. I embraced it wholeheartedly and the reggae community welcomed me with open arms,” said Burgess, who has also published a collection of short stories based around Tucson. The idea came to Burgess through his close friend’s father, Denny Graham. As a longtime fan of the band, Graham suggested the book. “It only took me a nanosecond to say yes. I was quite surprised no one else had written a full length book,” Burgess said. Beginning his work on Reggae Night in October 2019, Burgess was still in the middle of writing in Costa Rica when COVID-19 struck. Due to those unprecedented events, including Chicago Bar closing for 10 months, Burgess was forced
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to make several revisions and push back the release. “It took me a while to get back here, I just got back seven weeks ago and I was finally able to launch the book,” Burgess said. Reggae Night demonstrates the authenticity of Neon Prophet that has allowed the band to endure for more than three decades. Jamie Cirrito, the band’s bassist and back up vocalist since 1986, believes their differences strengthened the bond of the core members: Cirrito, lead vocalist David Dean and percussionist Plato T. Jones. “I’m an East Coast guy, David is from the South, and Plato was from the Midwest, so really we represented the extremes in our country. We didn’t have a lot in common, just music,” Cirrito said. In addition Dean is widely known for a voice and personality unlike most of your typical front-men. “There’s certain traits that go with your typical singer; they’re the boss, the guy that’s looked at and wants to be. Dave never went looking for any of that,” Cirrito said. “It’s part of the chemistry of the band, it comes down from David and his personality. He’s a mellow dude.” Coming down from Dean, Burgess says the band practically oozes humility. “Part of their ethos is community. The fact that they welcome other artists onto the stage, which is very unique, I think that sets them apart from any other group,” Burgess explained. Janssen Research & Development, LLC
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By Xavier Omar Otero tucsoneditor@tucsonlocalmedia.com
MARK YOUR CALENDARS… THURSDAY, MARCH 31 In Brad Kahlhamer’s paintings, you may find ancestral talismans, skulls, totem poles, fragments of song lyrics, eagle feathers, geometric designs, cartoons, katsina dolls and company logos. He was born in Tucson (1956) to native parents and raised by a German-American adoptive family. Many years before establishing a career in New York as a visual artist, Kahlhamer learned to play guitar. “I was captured by the sound,” In a Minnesota Museum of Art (MMA) profile piece Kahlhamer recalled: “My first guitar was from Sears Roebuck and practically unplayable. I was in a variety of [Wisconsin] basement bands.” He spent a decade on the road before moving to New York, in time for the birth of the Bowery punk scene. “I felt really comfortable in the chaos. I loved it.” As he worked on his art, he played in a band he describes as “Patti Page [1950s pop/country singer] meets dubstep.” Kahlhamer tells The Huffington Post, “The sounds I play are like the forms in my work: Skeletal, jangly, wiry.” It is in the meeting place between the inherited and the adopted, from both a life lived and a life unknown, where the “third place” can be found. Kahlhamer tells MMA, “It makes sense, to me, to present an ‘impure’ kind of artwork. I don’t need to be easily categorized or identified.” Tucson Museum
of Art present Brad Kahlhamer. At Club Congress… Americana singer-songwriter Amber Norgaard performs. At Monterey Court… With a repertoire that ranges from ’70s and ’80s to jazz, Gigi & The Glow deliver a high energy show. At St. Philip’s Plaza… “A candy-colored clown they call the sandman, tiptoes to my room every night, just to sprinkle stardust and to whisper.” Naïm Amor & the Cocktail Hours perform a blend of tiki and exotica mixed with jazz lounge. Late Night. At The Century Room…
FRIDAY, APRIL 1 Fierce advocates for immigration reform, voting and LGBTQ+ rights, the sibling pop duo of Jesse and Joy Huerta found their audience representing the bilingual millennials of today. Their success on the Billboard charts prompted the Latin Times to rave, “Jesse & Joy are probably some of the purest, most talented artists of our generation.” Their fifth album, Aire (2020) features collabs with Latin superstars J Balvin and Luis Fonsi. Beneath the burnish of slickly produced reggaeton, pop and hiphop beats, the duo explore the bittersweet facets of love: Budding, burning, struggling, and crumbling. Jesse & Joy. Cliches Tour. At Rialto Theater… The Stefan George Memorial Songwriting Competition—featuring performances by Brett Altman, Nico Barberan, Chris Baron, Corrie Lynn Green, Mark Holdaway, Kathleen Kelso, Allison Leah, Kay Miracle, Gabrielle Pietrangelo and Territory & Hombre—kicks off The 37th Annual Tucson Folk Festival. At Hotel Congress Plaza… Bringing that “Spooky Riddim.” Working a decidedly off-putting eerie sound, this rising bass sensation—made up of Nathan Davis and Tiago Nunez—have found their lane on the heavier, darker side of EDM. Relentless Beats present Hi I’m
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Ghost. At Gentle Ben’s… “Just a Player.” Fahd Azam (aka Mr. Capone-E) was born in Pakistan to an ethnic Hazara family. After the family relocated to West Covina, California, Azam grew up surrounded by gangs. Later, he became a Sureño. Incarcerated at 18, he honed his talents as a rapper while serving out his sentence. Azam’s latest single “Soy Cholo” (2021) is an ode to street life. Mr. Capone-E. Foo Fest. At Encore… The tenor saxophonist led Mike Moynihan Quartet tips the hat to a Saxophone Colossus. A Salute to Sonny Rollins. At The Century Room… What began as a party, by two enterprising friends, in a tiny Echo Park dive bar, has blown-up into a phenomenon. “We made a Facebook event, and all of a sudden, 500 people showed up,” co-founder T.J. Petracca recalls. “We did another one, but there were twice as many people trying to get in.” It soon expanded exponentially to recurring events thrown by like-minded hipsters in over 30 cities and festivals nationwide. An evening with Emo Night. At 191 Toole… This guitar trio’s repertoire is deeply rooted in regional Mexican music: Rancheras, romanticas and corridos. From Sinaloa, Los Hijos de Barron. At Club 4th Avenue… DJ Herm presides over Spinnin’ Wheels: A roller disco and dance party. At MSA Annex…
SATURDAY, APRIL 2 “Every horn player listened to Earth Wind & Fire,” trumpeter Chris Botti recalls, in an interview with producer/musician Don Was for Blue Note. “But then I heard Miles Davis’ My Funny Valentine (1964). Within two or three notes, I just knew that I wanted to be a trumpet player for the rest of my life.” After dropping out of Indiana University during his senior year, Botti went on the road with legendary crooner
Frank Sinatra for two weeks. “I thought that was enough to start my resume.” Not a bad start. Followed by a cross-country tour with drummer Buddy Rich. A lesser experience he describes as “a torture chamber.” You may recall “The Bus Tapes,” the now-infamous secret recordings of the mercurial bandleader verbally abusing his sidemen in the most vile ways. “I was on that bus.” Outclassing the past, Botti has become the largest-selling American instrumental artist. Chris Botti. At Fox Tucson Theatre… The party continues. Max Goldschmid Group. Chris Botti After-Party. At The Century Room… Three humans getting primitive, staying primitive. It began casually as a jam session between multi-instrumentalists Charles Moothart and Ty Segall, bonding over a shared penchant for “heavy, caustic, fuzz pedal-worshiping 1960s proto-metal and [psychedelia].” The addition of bassist Chad Ubovich and the release of their self-titled debut (2013) established Fuzz as a bonafide ear-pummeling hard rock entity. Taking the spirit of 1972 prisoner, under the sonic wizardry of producer Steve Albini (Nirvana, Pixies), balancing compulsion and restraint, III (2020) is the transference of genetic strains in a long lineage, capturing the majesty of the rock ‘n’ roll power trio. Fuzz. At 191 Toole… The celebration continues. This year’s festival showcases the talents of over 125 local and national acoustic acts on 5 stages. Kitchen Musicians Association and the Southern Arizona Arts & Cultural Alliance present The 37th Annual Tucson Folk Festival. Headliners include: Watkins Family Hour (featuring members of Nickel Creek), Tish Hinojosa, Vance Gilbert, Ryanhood, Red Yarn, Birds and Arrows, Raye Zaragoza, John Coinman and more. At Jácome Plaza (and online via livestream broadcast). Though Sunday, April 3. See tucsonfolkfestival.org for a full schedule…
MARCH 31, 2022
The Muffulettas perform Bourbon Street jazz. At Monterey Court… TSO trumpets Hayato Tanaka and Betsy Bright Morgan have arranged a program that features J.S. Bach: Allegro from Italian Concerto, Gabrieli: Sonata pian’ e forte, Scheidt: Galliard Battaglia, L. Boulanger: D’Un Vieux Jardin, and Wagner: Selections for brass choir from 6 operas. Tucson Symphony Orchestra Brass Ensemble present Up Close Music for Brass Chamber. At Tucson Symphony Orchestra… Local favorites Taking Back Harambe and Tucson is the Reason lead the revival. Emo Night Tucson Live. At Club Congress… Featuring Mariah McCammond (fiddle) and Anton Shekerjiev (guitar), Thistle and Bear perform traditional Celtic and Scandinavian folk music. At MotoSonora Brewing Company… NatureMed, a Marana cannabis dispensary, is throwing its first Dirt Fest concert, complete with food trucks and live music. Today’s lineup is rock ’n’ roll, with The Dirt, Mr. SKynrd, Drop D and more. Sunday is a country tribute featuring Vegas McGraw, Backroads, Billy Shaw Jr. Band, County Line and more. Gates open at 2 p.m. both days at The Station, 8235 N. Silverbell Road.
SUNDAY, APRIL 3 Featuring saxophonist Autumn Dominguez, the After Hours Quartet hosts a jazz jam session. At The Century Room… Led by vocalist Amy Virnelson, Soul Essential draw from a repertoire of classic and modern R&B and soul. Congress Cookout. At Hotel Congress Plaza…
MONDAY, APRIL 4 Club Whutever resident DJs—alice.km, Hot Leather Disco, and PC Party—spin EDM. At Hotel Congress (Tap Room patio)…
TUESDAY, APRIL 5 Formed while attending high school, Chris Fronzak stumbled upon the story of Attila the Hun—a feared leader of nomads, known to ancient Romans as the “Scourge of God,” who amassed a vast empire through brutality—while reading a book. After signing to Artery Recordings they released Soundtrack to a Party (2008), their debut album. Although life as modern-day marauders has not come without turbulence.
Having weathered several allegations of sexual misconduct and subsequent lineup changes, this band of Atlantien metalcore maniacs seek Closure (2021), the title of their ninth studio album. Atilla. Rage Fest Tour. At 191 Toole… For the past 40 years, George Howard has played an integral part in weaving the rich tapestry that forms the Southern Arizona blues scene, as musician, producer, promoter, and founder of the Tucson Musicians Museum. Inspired by blues performances this season at the Fox—Robert Cray, Taj Mahal, Keb’ Mo,’ and others—Arizona Blues Hall of Famer George Howard hosts Curious Conversations. At Fox Tucson Theatre (and online via Zoom)…
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 6 “The Dexterity of Luck.” Assembled in 1994 from disenfranchised members of Rodan, Lungfish, Rex, and Hoover, the band’s name quizzically refers to the period of correspondence between lovesick writers Anaïs Nin and Henry Miller. During a relatively short lifespan, June Of 44 released four albums— skimming at the harder edges of math rock, while dabbling with electronics, loops, and samples—before dissolving in 1999. Now, they are back with a new collection, Revisionist: Adaptations & Future Histories in the Time of Love and Survival (2021). June Of 44. At 191 Toole. Carbon Canyon opens… In a statement, trop-pop duo Summer Salt’s Matthew Terry says that the band’s star has been on the rise ever since ditching their hometown of Dallas, after graduating high school, for the arts-andculture oasis of Austin. “We really wanted to take the opportunity to challenge ourselves and see our songs in a different light, outside of our comfort zone and bedrooms.” Summer Salt. At Club Congress... ON THE HORIZON: Arizona Arts Live presents the “Queen of African Music,” Angélique Kidjo. At Rialto Theater. April 7… Featuring a cavalcade of country superstars—Blake Shelton, Riley Green, Tracy Lawrence, Morgan Wallen y un chingo mas—Country Thunder Arizona 2022 returns to Florence, Arizona. April 7-10. See countrythunder.com for a full schedule… Until next week, XOXO…
NEON PROPHET
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 17
Coupled with this, the band often does unseen and unpaid work. Burgess recounted a story keyboard player Scott Anderson told: While teaching in Eloy, Anderson brought the band to play for three hundred kids in the gymnasium on a Wednesday morning. Aside from telling the story of the band, Reggae Night also delves into the history of Chicago Bar, interviewing former employees and clientele, as well as mapping the broader Tucson music scene around Neon Prophet. The book also includes a whole photo chapter with images of Chicago Bar throughout the years and major characters in its history. While the heart of the band’s success comes from the members themselves, Neon Prophet has recognized that it would not be where it is today without Chicago Bar, its prime Tucson venue. “Very important figures in the story are the [former] owners Cathy Warner and Bill Shew. They acquired the bar and it
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was a very insignificant place with a small amount of people and they turned it into something very special,” Burgess said. Known as a jazz and blues destination, Neon Prophet’s success as a reggae band was an unexpected but welcomed surprise for Chicago Bar. “Chicago Bar is like one big family,” Burgess said. “It’s one of the most diverse clientele in Tucson and has been for four decades. Everybody rubs shoulders at the Chicago Bar, and it’s a non judgemental space where everyone is happy in their own skin.” Reggae Night also explores how Neon Prophet often subverts expectations. “It’s all a very unique situation and Harvey put it all down for posterity,” Cirrito said. “The thing about music is you could have done the most amazing incredible thing on a given night, but if you weren’t right there it’s gone. Harvey has given us a little bit more permanence.” ■ “Reggae Night: Neon Prophet at the Chicago Bar” is available for purchase at darkspringpress.com.
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TWO BILLS:
The zombie apocalypse is not over yet By David Abbott tucsoneditor@tucsonlocalmedia.com WE ARE STILL LIKELY MONTHS away from a merciful end of the Arizona Legislature’s 2022 session (expected sometime in May or June), but legislative rules may well revive pot legislation that has been on life support for the past few weeks. In a session with few cannabis bills, as legislators focused more on punishing schools and restricting voting rights, there has not been a lot of action on the weed front, but two bills so far have refused to die. Both Senate Bill 1402 and SB1715 are still alive, if ailing.
SB1402, sponsored by Sen. David Gowan (R-LD14), was intended to turn 13 rural dispensary licenses awarded in April 2021 into dual-use licenses, without affecting the cap on the number of marijuana outlets in the state. The initial bill garnered support from consumer advocates such as Arizona NORML, but an amendment in February changed that so the medical portion of the dual-use licenses would count against the cap, reinforcing the tight grip the biggest players have on the industry. The change effectively made SB1402 an anti-competition bill, keeping the Arizona cannabis market artificially limited and less competitive. “That could lead to some crazy effects in rural Arizona,” Jon Udell, AZNORML’s director of politics, said. “Springerville could have three dispensaries for a few thousand people and cities like Chandler
or Gilbert would have a similar number for hundreds of thousands of people.” There are currently 130 cannabis outlets in operation in Arizona. The number of dispensaries (medical) and establishments (adult-use) is determined by a percentage of traditional pharmacies in the state. The 2020 census found that Arizona is home to 7 million residents and, according to a 2020 report by Verilife (operated by PharmaCann Inc., the largest multi-state operator (MSO) in the U.S.), determined that the state has about 1.4 dispensaries per 100,000 residents. For comparison, Colorado, one of the first states to legalize adult-use recreational weed in 2012, has about 6 million residents, but has a whopping 14.1 dispensaries per 100,000. Nevada, another sparsely populated western state, has a little more than 3 million people, with 2.4 dispensaries per 100,000. “We badly, badly need more competition,” Udell said. “It’s been six years since the last (license) allocation, six years since the last census of pharmacies. We know there’s more pharmacies now than before, so that means there should be more licenses.” SB1402 was languishing as February
turned to March, and in all likelihood would be laid out on a slab to await the 56th legislative session in 2023. But arcane rules have come to the rescue as, sometime this week, SB1408 could come back as a “strike everything bill” (striker) HB2050. Strikers are unrelated bills that are gutted and replaced with bills that might otherwise have no chance of passing, allowing legislators to circumvent the process. The amendment to HB2050, currently related to the state’s telecommunications fund, will be heard sometime this week (after press time). The remaining going nowhere bill that has not been tagged for a striker is SB1715, also sponsored by Gowan, that would ban hemp-derived cannabinoids. The bill was amended to ban “impairing cannabinoids” rather than all hemp-derived products, but it would still have the effect of tightening up the market to the benefit of the big players. “Barring a striker and without being assigned to committee, this bill could potentially be dead,” Arizona NORML Director Mike Robinette said. “If they continue down the path of blanket prohibition, we’re going to be opposed.
MARCH 31, 2022
It doesn’t look real good for 1715, simply because we’re running out of time and it has not yet been assigned to committee in the House, having passed the Senate.” Even if the bill makes it to the floor for a vote, it would face an uphill battle, as it would require a three-quarters vote to pass due to voter protections.
NEWS NUGGETS SOCIAL EQUITY? Last week, the Arizona Department of Health Services announced it would hold the social equity lottery on April 8 at 1 p.m. Social equity licenses are intended to help repair some of the damage done to individuals and communities through the decades-long war on cannabis. After months of anticipation, and several lawsuits, the Arizona Department of Health Services finalized rules for the program, despite concern that the rules had loopholes big enough for the largest multi-state operators to drive trucks full of weed through. In December 2021, ADHS opened the application process and, in two short weeks, received more than 1,500 applications, hundreds of which were from three of the largest operators in the state. According to an announcement by ADHS, license recipients will be selected using a “computerized random drawing system offered by Smartplay International Inc.” The system is used across the country for state lotteries and raffle drawings. “The drawing will be held at ADHS with industry and news media represen-
tatives witnessing and streamed live at azdhs.gov/live. The accounting and auditing firm Henry and Horne will oversee the drawing,” the announcement states. Winners of the 26 licenses will have 18 months to get operations underway, which will require large amounts of money and the ability to maneuver municipal zoning codes and whatever board and commissions oversee business establishments in their communities. While there is a vocal contingency wanting ADHS to go back to the drawing board and rewrite the rules, there are some who think it is best to focus on the individuals who have survived the process long enough to get into the pottery and tweak the rules as the program takes shape. Jon Udell, director of politics for AZNORML, has several clients in his private practice that fit the bill and he believes they should not have to go back to square one. “It’s easy to get distracted by the large numbers of applications that have MSO partners, and distracted from the fact that there are a number of bonafide social equity applicants that took a whole lot of time to submit applications,” he said. “There’s already been a lot of reliance placed on the existing rules. There are a variety of those folks out there, and it’s very easy to overlook them, but they’re the folks we need to be paying the most attention to.” HERE WE GO AGAIN: The Weedly has largely ignored references to federal legislation this year. After all, how many times a month can we report on Chuck Schumer’s tweets about the fourth or fifth time the House has passed the MORE Act or the SAFE Banking Act? Perhaps it is with a sense of nostalgia for the pre-November 2020 innocence
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that makes us go to the well one MORE time: Several outlets have mentioned this, but Weedly is going with Cannabis Business Times this time, reporting that the Marijuana Opportunity Reinvestment and Expungement (MORE) Act is on course to make it to the U.S. House floor for a vote. The bill is sponsored by U.S. House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerry Nadler, D-N.Y., and aims to remove cannabis from the U.S. Controlled Substance Act. It was first introduced in July 2019 and was passed by the full lower chamber via a 228-164 vote in December 2020, “the first time a full body of Congress voted on a broad cannabis decriminalization measure,” according to Cannabis Business Times. A previous version of the bill ran into a brick wall in the form of then-Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. The House Rules Committee’s hearing on the current version of the MORE Act, House Bill 3617, takes place after the Weedly goes to press. We can’t wait to report that the bill has passed and cannabis is federally legal sometime in the near future. No, really.
TUCSONWEEKLY.COM 21
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MARCH 31, 2022
MARCH 31, 2022
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SAVAGE LOVE ONLY FOR NOW
By Dan Savage, mail@savagelove.net
I’m a 28-year-old queer woman. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship, as it was impossible for me to make a physical or emotional connection with anyone after I was raped four years ago. I finally found a very, very, very nice fella. He’s 36 years old, and pretty basic. He’s a cis white man who isn’t into anal, which is good, not too good at oral, which is bad, with a medium-to-low sex drive and an average-to-good cock. Here’s the problem: I like the warm feelings of love and lust I’m finally experiencing after a long time, but I am nevertheless unsatisfied with him. There are so many things that I feel he is lacking. We don’t share fantasies, he doesn’t take the initiative, there’s no sense of seductiveness, and the cunnilingus is underwhelming. I’ve talked to him about it and he listens, he says he hears me, but he does not implement any of my suggestions. Instead, he tells me to focus on the things that are wonderful about our relationship rather than what’s lacking. Maybe I’m being too critical and should try to focus on the positive. Or should I leave him and go find an idealized sex God who may or may not be out there? —Idealized Dick Katharsis P.S. My question requires a thoughtful response, not a savage answer. So, maybe I should talk to my psychologist and not to you? First and most importantly, I’m so sorry you were raped. I’m glad you sought professional help, IDK, and I’m happy to hear you feel ready to start making connections again after taking four years off to heal. And I’m gonna go out on a limb here to say you don’t have to choose between talking with me about this and talking to your psychologist. You can talk to both of us. Zooming out for a second, I’ve always thought of this column (and my podcast) as a conversation I’m having with friends about our love and/or sex lives after we’d had a few drinks. (Or, these days, shared an edible.) Friends are there to listen, to challenge us, and to call us on our bullshit. And friends are there to be heard, to be challenged, and to be called on their bullshit. But friends aren’t pros. When it comes to the kind of trauma experienced, ideally, we would seek help from a pro and—when we were ready for it—advice from our friends. And as your supportive friend, IDK, as your thoughtful friend, I would advise
you to stop thinking forever and instead concentrate on now. Basically, IDK, you’re looking at this guy and asking yourself, “Is he the right guy forever?” And the answer to that question is obviously no. If you were with this guy forever—if you married a guy who wasn’t that great in bed and refused to listen to feedback and make changes—you would be unhappy in the long run. You’d never get to act on those fantasies, you’d never get seduced the way want, you’ll never get ate the way you want. But if instead of asking yourself, “Is he the right guy forever?”, you were to ask yourself, “Is he right guy for now?”, the answer might be different. You had a traumatic experience four years ago and haven’t dated anyone since. Easing back into sex, dating, and relationships with a nice fella who isn’t great but isn’t awful… yeah, that might be just what you need. Not forever, IDK, for now. So, don’t move in with this guy, don’t make any promises, and don’t stay in this relationship one minute longer than you want to. When you’re ready to end it—when you’re ready to go searching for an idealized sex God—then you can and should end it. You’re not going to have a successful long-term relationship with this guy, IDK, but you could have a successful short-term relationship with him. Welcome back to sex and dating, take care of yourself, and feel free to write me anytime. I’m a 32-year-old poly woman in Canada. Last spring and summer I worked a contract job a few hours away from where I live, and I was hooking up with one of my co-workers who is a 40-year-old poly man. He’s great and we had great sex. When I started to have more romantic feelings for him, he made it clear that he was polysaturated and didn’t want to be in a relationship with me. Now that winter is ending, I’m about to go back and start working near him again. I talked to him recently, and he is eager to keep hooking up, but he made it clear—again— that he doesn’t want more than that. I feel conflicted because while I really want to keep having sex with this guy, I’m scared of getting hurt. Even if I go in with the intention of having casual sex, there’s. chance I might fall in love with him, and he has made it clear that he doesn’t want to be with me. Do you have
any suggestions for how I can enjoy this guy and the great sex without getting too attached? —Constantly Amazing Sex, Unwilling About Love Nope. Catching feelings for someone isn’t a conscious choice we make, CASUAL, and typically by the time we start worrying we might be catching feelings for someone… it’s too late. Feelings have already been caught. The only thing we can do if we’re worried that we might catch feelings for someone or have already caught feelings for someone is to stop seeing that person, CASUAL, in the hopes that their absence (or someone else’s presence) will make those feelings go away. But if the sex is great and the risk of heartbreak is worth it, no one would blame you for continuing to fuck this polysaturated guy. (Funny he can find the time to fuck you on the regular, but doesn’t have the bandwidth to date you, not even a little bit.) But go in with your eyes open: if you keep fucking this guy, CASUAL, you’re gonna get more and more attached to him, you’re gonna catch more and more feelings, and then wind up getting hurt in the end. I enjoy your column and I think your advice is usually spot-on; however, your advice to TITE last week—the man who wanted to end things with his FWB—was not good. You encouraged TITE to lie to their fuck buddy by saying that their partner wants to close things up. That’s terrible advice. Not the lying, Dan, but the blaming it on the partner. First of
all, that lie makes the partner the villain even though they had no part in this, so TITE is lying to one person and lying about another! Second, it’s just setting everyone up to get bitten in the ass—and not in the good way. Suppose TITE is out some time with someone other than his partner and his former fuck buddy happens to see him? I get wanting to spare someone’s feelings, but at some point we have to take responsibility for our relationship, including the ending of them. Using, “Oh, my partner wants to close things up,” is the ENM version of a woman saying, “I have a boyfriend,” to get some guy to stop harassing her (except that in that case it is sometimes necessary for safety). Now, if TITE wants to get their partner’s permission to use them as an excuse, at least then they’re not lying to two people. But really, isn’t a better solution to have clear and honest communication and treat everyone as an adult? —Communicate Honestly And Tactfully They can’t all be winners. So, to you and everyone else who wrote to tell me my advice for TITE was off the mark, CHAT, I wanna say: you guys were right, I was wrong. Thanks for calling me on my bullshit, friends. questions@savagelove.net Listen to Dan on the Savage Lovecast! Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage! Columns, podcasts, books, merch and more at savage.love!
MARCH 31, 2022
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
By Rob Brezsny. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700 $1.99 per minute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone required.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): In 1904, it wasn’t illegal to use performance-enhancing drugs during Olympic competitions. Runner Thomas Hicks took advantage of this in the marathon race. The poison strychnine, which in small doses serves as a stimulant, was one of his boosters. Another was brandy. By the time he approached the finish line, he was hallucinating and stumbling. His trainers carried him the rest of the way, and he was declared the winner. I recommend you make him your inspirational role model in the coming weeks. How might you cheat to gain a great victory? APRIL FOOL! I Lied. While it’s true that a meaningful triumph is within your reach, you’re most likely to achieve it by acting with total integrity, following the rules, and imbibing no stimulating poisons. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Science fiction aficionado Wil Wheaton suggests that all of us should have the following: 1. a nemesis; 2. an evil twin; 3. a secret headquarters; 4. an escape hatch; 5. a partner in crime; 6. a secret identity. Dear Taurus, I have doubts that you possess any of these necessities. Please embark on intensive efforts to acquire all of them. Your deadline is April 21. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. There’s no way you could add all those things to your repertoire in such a short time. See if you can at least get a secret identity and a partner in crime. It’s time to have wicked fun as you add to your potency and effectiveness. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “I hate being on my best behavior,” wrote Gemini author Colleen McCullough. “It brings out the absolute worst in me.” In the coming weeks, I hope you avoid the danger she describes. Don’t be on your best behavior! Emulate Gemini filmmaker Clint Eastwood, who said, “I tried being reasonable, but I didn’t like it.” APRIL FOOL! I lied. Here’s the real truth: Being kind and generous and reasonable will be your secret weapon in the next three weeks. Doing so will empower you to make interesting and unforeseen progress. CANCER (June 21-July 22): A Tumblr blogger named Alyssa complains, “I’m still peeved that I can’t fly or set things on fire with my mind.” You might share that feeling, Cancerian. But here’s the good news: I predict that you could soon acquire, at least temporarily, the power to fly and set things on fire with your mind. Use these talents wisely, please! APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, you probably won’t be able to fly or set things on fire with your mind anytime soon. However, you may acquire other superpowers that are only slightly less fantastic. For example, you could change the mind of an ally who has been ridiculously
stubborn. You could uncover a big secret that has been hidden. You could mend a wound you thought would never heal. Any other superpowers you need right now? LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I suspect that only a Leo would say what Leo filmmaker Stanley Kubrick once asserted: “You know, it’s not absolutely true in every case that nobody likes a smart ass.” In accordance with astrological omens, I authorize you to prove his assertion. Be the kind of smart ass that people like. APRIL FOOL! I’m half-joking. The truth is, I hope you will be the kind of smart ass that people absolutely adore and get inspired by. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In honor of your arrival in the most lyrical and soulful phase of your cycle, I offer you advice from poet Richard Jackson: “The secret is to paint your own numbers on the clock, to brush away those webs that cover the wild country of the soul, to let your star hover between the flowers of the moon and the flowers of the sun, like words you have never spoken yet always hear.” APRIL FOOL! I partially lied. I don’t think you should paint your own numbers on the clock. But the rest of what Jackson said is totally applicable and useful for you. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “I want excitement,” declared Libra novelist F. Scott Fitzgerald, “and I don’t care what form it takes or what I pay for it, so long as it makes my heart beat.” In the coming weeks, I hope you will make that statement your motto. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. While I do foresee you being able to gather a wealth of excitement, I hope you won’t be as extreme as Fitzgerald in your pursuit of it. There will be plenty of opportunities for excitement that won’t require you to risk loss or pay an unwelcome price. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “If you can’t make fun of yourself, you don’t have a right to make fun of others,” said comedian Joan Rivers. I agree! So if you are feeling an irresistible urge to mock people and fling sarcasm in all directions, please prepare by first mocking yourself and being sarcastic toward yourself. APRIL FOOL! I lied. I will never authorize you to make fun of others. Never! In the coming weeks, I hope you’ll do the opposite: Dole out massive doses of praise and appreciation toward everyone. To prepare, dole out massive doses of praise and appreciation toward yourself. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In the traditional opera performed in China’s Sichuan province, magical effects were popular. One trick involved characters making rapid changes of their masks. The art was
to remove an existing mask and don a new one with such speed that the audience could not detect it. An old master, Peng Denghuai, once wore 14 different masks in 24 seconds. This is an antic I think you should imitate in the coming days. The more frequently you alter your persona and appearance, the more successful and popular you’ll be. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. I recommend that you gleefully experiment with your image and exuberantly vary your self-presentation. But don’t overdo it. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A nutritionist named Mark Haub decided to try losing weight by eating only sugary treats. For 10 weeks, he snacked on junk food cakes, cookies, and sweet cereals. By the end, he had lost 27 pounds. In accordance with astrological omens, I suggest you try the metaphorical equivalents of this project. For instance, work on deepening your relationships by engaging your allies in shallow conversations about trivial subjects. Or see if you can enhance your physical fitness by confining your exercise to crossing and uncrossing your legs as you sit on the couch watching TV. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Here’s your real horoscope: For the next four weeks, take better care of your body and your relationships than you ever have before in your life. Make it a point to educate yourself about what that would entail, and be devoted in providing the most profound nurturing you can imagine. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarius-born Giordano Bruno (1548–1600) was bravely
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heretical in his work as a philosopher, poet, mathematician, and friar. He angered the Catholic Church with his unorthodox views about Jesus and Mary, as well as his belief in reincarnation, his practice of occult magic, and his views that there are other stars besides our sun. Eventually, the authorities burned him at the stake for his transgressive ideas. Beware of a similar outcome for expressing your unusual qualities! APRIL FOOL! Luckily, no punishment will result if you express the rich fullness of your idiosyncrasies in the coming weeks. I’m happy about that, since I’m encouraging you to be as eccentrically yourself as you want to be. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Life is too complicated to accurately comprehend. There’s too much to know! It’s impossible to make truly savvy and rational decisions. Maybe the best strategy is to flip a coin or throw the dice or draw a Tarot card before doing anything. APRIL FOOL! While it’s a fact that life is too complex for our conscious minds to fully master, we have massive resources available on subconscious and superconscious levels: our deep soul and our higher self. Now is an excellent time to enhance your access to these mother lodes of intelligence. Homework: What’s the most compassionate prank you could perform? Newsletter. FreeWillAstrology.com
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Parties with smokers 7 “In what universe?!” 11 Positive consideration 14 Make available 15 “Holy cannoli!” 16 Spreadsheet part 17 Wight, e.g.? 19 ___ Productions (company behind the James Bond films) 20 Deployed, as a naval officer 21 Rum drum 22 Soul mates, for short 23 Experienced certain growing pains 25 Emulate the Lonely Goatherd 28 Crunch bar and Cadbury Creme Egg, e.g.? 32 Give it a twirl! 35 Tennis’s Nadal, familiarly 36 Test for coll. seniors 37 Word after gay or fashion 38 Thingamajigs 40 One observing the holiday of Arba‘een 41 Common Thanksgiving activity 42 Home for the Himalayas 43 When some local news comes on 44 1995’s “Johnny Mnemonic,” e.g.? 48 With the heels elevated 49 Smash success 53 Landlocked African country 55 Go yachting 57 Medieval club 1
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What most clarinets are tuned to 2 Became apparent 3 ___ Montgomery, retired W.N.B.A. star 4 Shameless fund-raising drive, informally 5 Who is this in France 6 See 31-Down 7 Handled sharp objects? 8 Deliberately amateurish filming technique 9 Particle with a superscript 10 Flavor of the month 11 When pilots go through their checklists 12 Feature of Arthur Ashe Stadium since 2016 13 Has 18 Youth health and safety org. 22 Resting place 24 Chinese dynasty from 206 B.C. to A.D. 220 26 Keystone Kops, e.g. 27 What makes you unique 29 Band with the first platinum-selling double album 30 Northernmost county of Pennsylvania
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With 6-Down, former White House press secretary portrayed by Melissa McCarthy on “S.N.L.” 32 Donation receptacles 33 Source of a purple purée 34 Washing machine that opens upward 38 Analogy words 39 Window, of a sort 40 Gets foggy 42 Leaf-cutter, e.g. 43 2008 bailout recipient 45 Abolish 46 Leave out 31
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