Everybody Hurts Sometimes, By Joyce and Barry Vissell

FEATURED COLUMNIST

Everybody Hurts Sometimes

By Joyce and Barry Vissell

Do you ever find yourself looking at certain people and thinking to yourself, “Surely that person’s life is totally incredible and they are not hurting like I am.” This is something most people do; they look at others, compare themselves to them, and conclude that the other person’s life is better. Whereas you are so aware of the hurt and problems in your life.

My news for you, coming from 47 years of counseling people, is that everyone hurts sometimes. People can look totally together and happy on the outside, and on the inside, there is a hurt that they are feeling, but just not showing.

Sometimes I watch small clips on YouTube of the winners of “Britain’s Got Talent.” I think the best one I ever saw was a 64-year-old priest by the name of Father Ray Kelly from a small city in Ireland. He sang a song called, “Everybody Hurts.” I believe it was the first time that a priest was on the show, and he got a standing ovation.

Before he sang, he told the judges that he wanted to sing this song for all of his parishioners to comfort them as he knows they all hurt sometimes.

The song is so beautiful and moving and if you have a chance, I would strongly suggest you listen to it: https://youtu.be/ Mx8yD3-HWTg.

He sings, “Everybody hurts sometimes, but hold on ... hold on and take comfort in your prayers.” And then, at the very end of the song, he adds his own personal touch by saying in the most beautiful Irish accent, “You are not alone!”

I have listened to him sing this many times and each time I feel the truth of the song, everybody hurts and we need to hold on and take comfort in our prayers and spiritual life. We are never alone in our pain, even though it can feel that way.

When we are hurting, I believe it hurts even more when we compare ourselves to others and feel that their lives are free from pain, and why do we have to go through this challenge.

••• Sharing Pain

Barry and I love the movie, “The Gospel.” In this movie, the minister goes through his own pain and hurting and then, rather than keeping it a secret, he shares it with his church. Then he invites the congregation, “Come on down to the altar. Can we talk about it?” As people are walking to the altar he says, “We are all going through our own storms. Can we talk about it?”

In the movie, you see people walking to the altar that appeared to have no troubles whatsoever. We all have our own storms that we are walking through. Every human being hurts sometimes. Barry and I are going through our own storm right now. Because it involves someone else, we are not able to share the details, except to say that at times it hurts us very much.

I can share what we are learning through going through this. Each time there is a pain and hurt within us, it is an opportunity to trust in the Divine more deeply. We are learning to trust more completely, and not lean on our own understanding and thought process. We are also finding that each adversity is bringing a gift into our lives.

We often do not know the gift that is coming, but we can give thanks that a gift is coming. Also going through this deep pain together is bringing an incredible closeness between Barry and me. We need each other very much as we face this situation. We are praying more and practicing gratitude.

Sometimes I look at other people and other families and I think, “Now they do not have any challenges, their lives seem perfect.” When I compare myself to others, it is sure to bring sadness to my heart. But when I can trust, I can feel at peace.

There is a sentence that I say to myself every single day as I am going through this hurt. “The darkness of adversity allows me to see the radiance of the light more clearly.” I know that I am becoming stronger in my heart and stronger in my love. As I work with others in my counseling practice, the strength of what I am going through is coming forth from such a depth within me.

“Everybody hurts sometimes … hold on … hold on … take comfort in your prayers. You are not alone.” Father Ray Kelly got the biggest applause that there had ever been. The judges said that his was the best audition ever to be on the show. He had simply touched a place within us all that needs comfort when we are hurting. •••

Father Ray Kelly

“Everybody hurts sometimes … hold on … hold on … take comfort in your prayers. You are not alone.”

— Father Ray Kelly

A Free Gift

We would love to give you a free gift, our new audio album of sacred songs and chants, available for download at SharedHeart.org, or to listen on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZG ml4FDMDyI&feature=youtu.be n •••

Joyce & Barry Vissell, a nurse/therapist and psychiatrist couple since 1964, are counselors in Aptos who are passionate about conscious relationship and personal-spiritual growth. They are the authors of 9 books and a new free audio album of sacred songs and chants. Call 831-684-2130 for information on counseling sessions by phone, on-line, or in person, their books, recordings or their schedule of talks and workshops. Visit SharedHeart.org for their free monthly e-heartletter, their updated schedule, and inspiring past articles on many topics about relationship and living from the heart.

CALL TO ARTISTS

The Santa Cruz County Department of Parks, Open Space and Cultural Services announces an opportunity for local artists to help contribute public art to library projects in Live Oak and Aptos. Both calls to artists are due Jan. 21. For details about the application processes, site plans and other materials, go to http://www.scparks.com/Home/AboutUs/WorkWithUs/CalltoArtists.aspx.

Aptos Library

An artist will be selected to create a site-specific public art component for new Aptos Branch Library.

The new library’s design will be inspired by the concept of “forest, coastal, and terrace” and other local environmental elements. The proposed public artwork should help create an inviting space where people of all ages will gather, learn, connect, and share.

Proposals should reflect the community’s identity and values while celebrating the unique culture and natural beauty of Aptos, and may incorporate a literary element and/or community participation component.

All proposals for this project must address outdoor fencing and gate needs.

The budget for the public artwork, which includes all costs associated with, but not limited to design, materials, travel, insurance, fabrication, installation, and documentation of the artwork, is $106,000.

Live Oak Annex

The budget for public artwork at the library annex at Simpkins Family Swim Center is $85,500.

SENIOR CENTER WITHOUT LIMITS

This new program from Community Bridges brings enrichment activities like yoga, art, music, tai chi, cooking, tech and support groups to seniors age 60 and up in their homes at no cost.

To participate, you need an internet connection and a computer, tablet or smartphone. To participate, view the calendar at https://communitybridges.org/SCWOL/ and find a class. That day and time, click on the link in the calendar to be connected. If you have a problem connecting, call Clara Munoz at (831) 458-3481.

CAREER ONLINE HIGH SCHOOL

The Santa Cruz Public Libraries invites you to jumpstart your future by earning an accredited high school diploma and career training through Career Online High School.

Is your 2022 resolution to go back to school and get your high school diploma? Santa Cruz Public Libraries offers a program called Career Online High School, designed for adults who were unable to complete high school and could benefit from additional job training.

This nationally accredited program allows adult students to earn an accredited high school diploma — not a GED — while gaining career skills in one of ten employment fields, from home care professional and office management to homeland security.

SCPL awards scholarships to qualified adult learners on a first-come, first-served basis. Career Online High School is a solution for those who need extra academic support and flexibility. Once in the program, students are assigned an academic coach who helps keep them on track and connects them with tutors if needed.

The online curriculum is accessible 24/7, which is helpful to those balancing work and family obligations. Students have up to 18 months to complete the program, but many finish sooner because previously earned high school or GED test credits are accepted. For more information, see https://santacruzpl.mycareerhs. com/.

PROPERTY TAX BILL DUE

The Santa Cruz County has mailed out property tax bills, and the second installment due date is Feb. 1. The bill becomes delinquent after April 10.

The first installment was due on Nov. 1 and became delinquent after Dec. 10. Penalties will be incurred if not paid before becoming delinquent.

STORYWALK FOR FAMILIES

Ongoing thru Jan. 31, Watsonville Public Library, 275 Main St. Triple P Positive Parenting Program offers StoryWalk, a free, educational family challenge, at Watsonville Public Library.

Families can follow the StoryWalk, watching for bilingual pages from the children’s storybook “Deep Breaths,” which can be found in various places around the library, giving families a way to be part of the celebration of the 10th annual Positive Parenting Awareness Month in Santa Cruz County.

Triple P is also offers free parenting classes to support families. StoryWalk, as well as parenting classes, are offered in English and Spanish. For information, call 831-465-2217.

WATER TABLE TESTING

Through Jan. 24 Santa Cruz County Environmental Health has opened the Winter Water Table Testing Period for Onsite Wastewater Treatment Systems Dec. 29, through Jan. 24.

If you are considering developing a property, doing a major remodel or a repair on property served by an onsite wastewater treatment system that may be subject to high ground water levels, you should arrange to have groundwater on your property observed multiple times throughout this testing period.

The testing period may be extended if rain persists. iezometer readings are required at the beginning, middle, and end of the testing period. Piezometers must be in the ground and the site plan approved beforehand. Applicants should have a site evaluation application in place and a monitoring plan approved by Environmental Health staff.

If the testing period closes, it may be reopened with sufficient rainfall. Groundwater levels must be measured throughout this period. A minimum of three recorded readings are required. For parcels with an active site evaluation application, email your inspector to schedule readings at LandUse@ santacruzcounty.us.

HOW TO START A FOOD BUSINESS

6-7:30 p.m., Online Seminars El Pajaro Community Development Corp. will host four free Zoom webinars in Spanish on “How to Start a Food Business.”

The four virtual sessions, taught by El Pajaro CDC’s Cesario Ruiz, will be 6-7:30 p.m. on Monday, Jan. 24; Wednesday, Jan. 26; Monday, Jan. 31; and Wednesday, Feb. 2.

Ruiz, the founder of My Mom’s Mole (sold at Staff of Life), was honored as 2016 Entrepreneur of the Year. He will cover how to develop and formalize a business idea; how to obtain permits and licenses; how to package products to sell at wholesale; and how to sell direct to the consumer.

For English seminars, go to elpajarocdc.org.

This will be the first of a series of training events in 2022. It is sponsored by El Pajaro CDC and the Regional Women’s Business Center.

Have a virtual or live event you want to promote? Send your information to info@cyber-times.com by January 21

For information and to register, call El Pajaro CDC at (831) 722-1224 or go to elpajarocdc.org.

SUPPORT FOR MOTHERS OF SURVIVORS

Survivors Healing Center is offering online women’s support groups and mothers of survivors of childhood sexual abuse support group. The goals are to empower through a healing process and prevent sexual abuse of children and youth.

You are not alone. You are not to blame. More information: (831) 423-7601 or www.survivorshealing center.org

NAMI PEER-TO-PEER

Jan 25 thru March 15, 5-7 p.m., Online Classes NAMI Peer-to-Peer is a free, eight-session educational program via Zoom for adults with mental health conditions who are looking to better understand themselves and their recovery.

Taught by trained leaders with lived experience, this program includes activities, discussions and informative videos.

Sign up at https://www.namiscc.org/peer-to-peer. html

Signing up does not guarantee enrollment, but puts you on the list to be notified about enrollment. Check your email within 5 business days of completing the form, and save anastasia@namiscc.org as a contact to prevent emails from going to spam. Contact (831)-824-0406 or anastasia@namiscc.org with questions or if you do not hear back within 5 business days.

CENTRAL FIRE DISTRICT ELECTIONS HEARING

Central Fire District of Santa Cruz County invites all interested persons to attend public hearings on districtbased elections at 9 a.m. on February 10 at 930 17th Avenue, Santa Cruz.

Board members will discuss, consider, and take action on one or more district map(s). Actions may include modification of division boundaries, sequencing of elections. For more information , contact (831) 4796842, or email: PublicComments@centralfiresc.org Information: https://www.centralfiresc.org/2279/ReDistricting-Process-2021-2022.

MAH EXHIBITIONS

Thurs. thru Sun., Noon-6 p.m., 705 Front St., Santa Cruz Santa Cruz Museum of Art & History presents two exhibitions starting in January.

Jan. 14–May 15: Atmosphere, an exhibition by artist and filmmaker Enid Baxter Ryce featuring paintings and soundscapes that explore the phenomena of Monterey Bay’s fog atmospheric rivers. Ryce’s work will be exhibited with collections of archival photos, an interactive musical sculpture, and fog collectors created in collaboration with historian and

Dr.

William Cowan, musician Lanier Sammons, sculptor Natalie Jenkins, and scientist Dan Fernandez.

Jan. 21–March 20: Rydell Visual Art Fellowship exhibition, honoring the legacy of local philanthropists Roy and Frances Rydell and featuring the 2020-2021 Rydell Visual Arts Fund recipients: Printmaker and illustrator Ann Altstatt; sculptor and designer Marc D’Estout; choreographer Cid Pearlman; and photographer Edward Ramirez. Presented in partnership with Community Foundation Santa Cruz County.

PUBLIC LIBRARY CAREER WORKSHOPS

The Santa Cruz Public Libraries presents career development workshops for teens and adults through April, thanks to grant funding.

Second Wednesdays: Resume and interview skill workshops at 10 a.m.

Third Wednesdays: Resume and interview skill workshops in Spanish, 10 a.m.

Hours for English/Spanish bilingual career assistance at the downtown Santa Cruz library will begin in January.

SENIOR OUTREACH

Family Service Agency Senior Outreach offers free one-on-one counseling for people 55 and over via the phone, Skype or Zoom. Counselors are experienced.

In-person counseling has been suspended to prevent Covid-19 spread.

Groups for men and women will be restarted as soon as possible, with a women’s group starting in February. Dates are not available due to the changing Covid situation.

Hopes are to restart peer training, for which there is a waiting list. To express interest in participating, call Barbara Salata, 831459-9351 ext. 206, who will return your call in 24 hours.

CABRILLO SPRING REGISTRATION

Registration is under way for the spring semester at Cabrillo College, which begins Jan. 24. Visit https://www.cabrillo.edu/catalog-and-classschedules/#browse-classes for more information.

AGRI-CULTURE, INC. 2022 SCHOLARSHIP DEADLINE

Agri-Culture is accepting applications for its four college scholarships, with Jan. 28 the deadline to apply.

They are: • Jimmie Cox Memorial Scholarship: $4,000 for a student entering or currently attending college and majoring in agriculture. (includes $2,000 from

American AgCredit). • Jeannie Witmer Memorial Scholarship: $1,500 for a student active (past or present) in California High School Rodeo Association

District 4 or California 4-H Horse Program, entering or currently attending college and majoring in agriculture and/or animal sciences. • J.J. Crosetti, Jr. Memorial Scholarship: $1,000 for a student entering or currently attending college and majoring in agriculture. • Laura Brown Memorial Scholarship: $2,000 for a student entering or currently attending college and majoring in agriculture or a related field, or majoring in culinary arts.

The online application is at: http://www.agri-culture. us/scholarships/ To request an application, contact the Financial Aid office at your school or the Agri-Culture office, 141 Monte Vista Ave., Watsonville, CA 95076 or call (831) 722-6622 or (831) 818-1193 or email: agri-culture@sbcglobal.net.

ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION CAREGIVER SUPPORT GROUPS

Alzheimer’s Association is offering video and phone meetings for caregivers throughout the month: Second and Fourth Wednesdays Santa Cruz, 2-3:30 p.m. via phone — Facilitators: Jill Ginghofer and Laurie McVay. First and Third Wednesdays Santa Cruz, 5:30-7 p.m. via video or phone — Facilitators: Francie Newfield and Kathleen McBurney.