the Editor’s Files

Paul Rhodes | Publisher & Editor

The “it” I’m referring to is something that I assume anyone with a smart phone (a cellular telephone that is smarter than you) experiences on almost a daily basis. “It” is the text message that pops into your cellphone after literally any visit to any business during the day.

Here’s a message from just the other day: “Your feedback is important to us. Please take a survey about Hutchinson Clinic.” Then there’s a link for you to click to take the survey.

Here’s another one, slightly different, from the next day: “Thank you for visiting West Wichita Family Optometrists in Goddard. We hope you were treated like family at our office. We’d be grateful if you would leave us a review on Google so we can know how we did. Thank you!” And again, a link to click on to complete the review.

As you’ve assessed by now, I spend a fair amount of time in doctor’s offices. I’m 65 years old...of course I do.

But I also visit grocery stores, restaurants, coffee shops and myriad other businesses. And everyone wants you to tell 'em how they did in a survey or a review.

I am from a generation where positive and negative comments are shared person to person to make sure something actually gets done about the situation. If I’m unhappy with how the fry cook made my French fries, I ask for the manager and let them know about the situation. I politely decline the offer for a free order of fries, since I know they’re going to spit on them, and then head on about my business.

Remember comment boxes in businesses? Those were fun...but probably not for the assistant manager who had to wade through all the absurd commentary just to glean a useful nugget of information.

I am still way too busy in my life to spend half of it completing digital surveys and reviews. Places of business should assume they are doing an absolutely adequate job, unless I stop them and tell them they are either over or under performing.

Not long ago, Kim and I returned from a holiday trip that included a cruise to the southern Caribbean. It was a delightful trip, with precautions being taken that allowed the passengers and crew to go eight days without any kind of COVID outbreak – unlike other cruise ships in the Caribbean at the same time that weren’t taking such precautions and weren’t so lucky.

Back home, I got an email from the Princess cruise line (that’s who we sailed with) and they wanted me to take a survey. Because of our positive experience, I actually wanted to take the survey and pass on some glowing comments about their COVID protocols.

An hour into the survey, with much more to go, I was fed up and done. I know Princess cruises are mostly made up of retired people with time on their hands, but seriously...offer a shorter version for working stiffs who just want to say, “Hey, you did a great job!”

I can only assume that as we move to even more digital interaction in the future, these requests to complete surveys or reviews will become even more common –and more annoying. God help us all.

As for me, I’ll just ignore these requests...and carefully select my opportunities to pass on glowing, or not so glowing, comments.

And now, a message from your publisher:

“Your feedback is important to us. Please take a moment to share your comments about Paul Rhodes and Times-Sentinel Newspapers. There’s no link that you have to click to take a survey, because Paul still takes phone calls. Just share your really good or really bad comments, and if we don’t hear from you, we’ll assume we’re doing a perfectly adequate job.”

Dear Savvy Senior, Can you provide any tips on how to write an obituary? My dad, who has terminal cancer, has asked me to write his obituary, which will be published in the funeral program and run in our local newspaper.

Not a Writer

Dear Not,

I’m very sorry to hear about your dad’s prognosis. Writing your dad’s obituary would be a nice way for you to honor him and sum up his life, not to mention avoiding any possible mistakes that sometimes occur when obituaries are hurriedly written at the time of death. Here’s what you should know, along with some tips and tools to help you write it.

Before you start writing your dad’s obituary, your first step is to check with the newspaper you want it to run in. Some newspapers have specific style guidelines or restrictions on length, some only accept obituaries directly from funeral homes, and some only publish obituaries written by newspaper staff members.

Savvy Senior

Jim Miller | Columnist

If your newspaper accepts family-written obits, find out if they have a template to guide you, or check with your dad’s chosen funeral provider. Most funeral homes provide forms for basic information and will write the full obituary for you as part of the services they provide. You also need to be aware that most newspapers charge by the word, line or column inch to publish an obituary, so your cost will vary depending on your newspaper’s rate and the length of your obit – most range between 200 and 600 words.

Also note that many newspapers offer free public service death listings too, which only include the name of the person who died along with the date and location of death and brief details about the funeral or memorial service.

Joe Heller Cartoons

Depending on how detailed you want to be, the most basic information in an obituary usually would include your dad’s full name (and nickname if relevant), age, date of birth, date of death, where he was living when he died, significant other (alive or dead), and details of the funeral service (public or private). If public, include the date, time, and location of service.

Other relevant information you may also want to include: cause of death (optional); place of birth and his parents’ names; his other survivors including his children, other relatives, friends and pets and where they live; family members who preceded his death; high school and colleges he attended and degrees earned; his work history and military service; his hobbies, accomplishments and any awards he received; his church or religious affiliations; any clubs, civic and fraternal organizations he was members of; and any charities he feels strongly about that he would like people to donate to either in addition to or in lieu of flowers or other gifts. You’ll also need to include a photo of your dad.

If you need some help writing your dad’s obitu- ary there are free online resources you can turn to like Legacy.com, which provides tips and articles at Legacy.com/advice/ guide-to-writing-anobituary. Or consider the 25-page e-book “Writing an Obituary in Four Easy Steps” available at DearPersonObits.com for $5. This guide will help you gather the details of your dad’s life so you can write an obituary that will reflect his personality and story.

Many families today also choose to post their loved one’s obituaries online and create digital memorials. Some good sites that offer this are MyKeeper.com, GatheringUs.com and EverLoved.com, which provide a central location where family and friends can visit to share stories, memories and photos to celebrate your dad’s life.

Or, if your dad used Facebook, you could also turn his profile into a memorial (you’ll need to show proof of death) where family and friends can visit and share anytime. Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070, or visit SavvySenior.org. Jim Miller is a contributor to the NBC Today show and author of “The Savvy Senior” book.

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