Missing documents and odd chips leave a bad taste behind

Every day, it seems, somebody else gets caught with classified documents at their home, office or golf course.

Mike Pence is the latest. I think it’s admirable of the former vice president to take some heat off President Joe Biden, who in turn must be waiting for a thankyou note from former President Donald Trump for taking the heat off him.

Oh, if only this were about Hilary Clinton’s emails. Although, to be fair, there have been similar accusations against Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump, and before them Colin Powell. If you do the research, there are other Congress members and governors who also have used personal email accounts or servers for important government documents.

The point is, they made bad decisions – and that allows us to do the same.

With that kind of rationalization, I grabbed my son and now-roomate Aaron, and we tore into some odd flavors of potato chips that I purchased online.

The internet is a great place for making bad decisions.

A couple of weeks back, I had a craving for all-dressed chips, the favored chip of our neighbors up north in Canada. In fact, they are more favored than ketchup chips, and a lot better, too.

So I ordered some all-dressed chips, both the regular kind and the Ruffles version. It’s all from Frito-Lay.

All-dressed chips are exactly what they say they are – all the flavors. We’re talking ketchup, salt, vinegar, barbecue, and sour cream and onion. They are awesome, and the Ruffles and regular Lays versions taste exactly the same. The texture just varies a bit, ridges and whatnot.

But since we’re making bad decisions, I got a couple of other flavors I had never seen before – Masala Magic, and Chicken and Tomato.

You read that right, but I recommend looking at it again. It will help your brain process.

Masala is a popular Indian flavor found across several South Asian cuisines. It is used in chai, an Indian dish called dosa, and in incense.

It is not a good chip flavor. I can’t exactly explain what was wrong with it, other than maybe it tasted like I was eating incense.

Then came the chicken and tomato. This flavor apparently is popular in China. I probably should have filmed myself trying this one and put it on TikTok, since that’s the most effective way that China is spying on me.

I didn’t throw up, but I did take a few steps toward the kitchen in case I felt the need to spit them out before I could swallow. I did get them down, and immediately felt regret – in my stomach, not in my heart or mind.

I do not recommend the chicken and tomato chips. I felt a little off for a few minutes. If anybody wants a bag of chicken and tomato flavored chips, open but mostly untouched, let me know. I don’t think anybody in my house will dive into them.

Aaron did not seem to be moved either way by the masala chips. They were...OK. I guess.

We both agree that the all-dressed chips are our favorite among anything we’ve tried.

Next up on our list is a bag of chile límon plantain chips I found at a Hispanic market in Wichita. There also is a flavor I tried from one of Wichita’s Asian markets that I loved, although I can’t recall the name right now. I’ll have to go back in and see if I can find what I had previously.

In the meantime, if any other current or former politicians are found with classified documents where they should not be, they need to be fed several large handfuls of chicken and tomato tater chips and then be told sternly not to do such things again.