5 minute read
Grace & Courtesy: From Early Childhood to Beyond
By Robin Howe
In early childhood (3 years to 6 years), there is a component of the Practical Life curriculum that is called “Grace and Courtesy.” It is a proper noun in that it has its own place in the early childhood curriculum. Some might say that it is the foundational piece, setting the expectations for behavior and interaction that lay the groundwork for successful work in the classroom; it is essential for the normalization of the class and the students in the class.
As students progress through the early childhood and then elementary classrooms, Grace and Courtesy is acknowledged as an essential piece of Montessori, a continuum through which Montessori can effectively be implemented. As students get older, however, there seems to be a greater emphasis and division between a student’s behaviors (ability to demonstrate grace and courtesy) and their academic abilities. This does not mean that these two skills are mutually exclusive, but the importance or emphasis may change from the teachers’ perspective.
In working with adolescents and adults, I consider myself lucky to have maintained contact with many past students, whom I have known through their childhood and into their adult lives. This has given me the opportunity to get to know these students as adults.
Sometimes I wonder, though, if we have adequately prepared children for adulthood, and whether we allowed Grace and Courtesy to dissolve into a memory from our early childhood years, when children were learning how to walk carefully through a classroom while balancing a tray or how they politely interacted with others.
Some questions I have been considering more and more are:
• Does a four-year-old-child having a tantrum in the middle of a grocery store have more leniency than a 17-year-old or a 25-year-old having the same level of tantrum in the same grocery store?
• Does a flippant remark from a six-yearold affect people differently than that of a 16-year-old?
Of course the answer is yes! Even the most balanced four-year-old may have a moment when they lose control and it doesn’t matter why. Parents may be judged by bystanders on how they handle the situation but, ultimately, when the child is back in the car and eventually falls asleep to the motion of the vehicle, supporting a notion that the cause of this uncharacteristic outbreak was exhaustion, the situation is over.
A young adult may not have this luxury. The threshold of understanding is much less for adults than it is for children and that is perfectly appropriate, based on our assumption that with age comes a level of self control and maturity that would prohibit them from behaving in this way.
So, my questions as a Montessori adolescent teacher are:
• Are we adequately preparing our young adults for the succeeding period of life?
• Are we preparing them for the expectations of existing in an adult world, even as they just enter adulthood?
I feel that Montessori does this better than other educational pedagogies in many ways. A few of them are outlined below.
Internships and Work Experiences
We encourage our students to explore careers and be amongst professionals, who may not have the patience of educators. The assumption is that if students behave outside of a span of “acceptable” behavior, they will be asked not to come back.
Entrepreneurship
Whether the students are participants in an Erdkinder program or other entrepreneurial experiences, they are learning about financial independence and being valued as part of the Montessori idea of “valorization.” A goal of any adolescent entrepreneurship experience is the appropriate appreciation for money, their own role in earning it, and an understanding of how their participation is something of value.
Field Experiences
Many Montessori secondary programs have opportunities for students to work both in their communities and the greater world beyond. The importance of a student experiencing other cultures and realizing that drinking water and plumbing are not guaranteed rights are incredibly important lessons.
Leadership
A tenant of any Montessori experience is the opportunity to be a leader. Whether the 6-year-old in the early childhood class or the 12th grader in a high school, this experience is incredibly powerful for both the student in a leadership role as well as the younger students who are observing.
Each of these examples warrants entire courses and discussion, but is that enough?
On a recent trip with adolescent students, I passively listened to the conversations and observed behaviors, trying to demonstrate my own Montessori ability of knowing when and how to interact, while also trying not to be the misunderstanding adult, who (just a few years ago) might have been more understanding.
While none of the behavior was egregious, in this heightened world of accountability, I found myself torn. Jokes that might have been accepted or even funny five years ago, may now be means for expulsion or even legal action.
Flippant and loose language can be captured and reposted on a phone and can lead to the loss of scholarships and enrollment.
Teachers do a lot, and some of these questions are the responsibility of the parent! Agreed!
But, if we accept Montessori’s belief that “each preceding phase prepares for the one that follows,” are we doing enough? Should Montessori’s Grace and Courtesy curriculum more specifically prepare our young men and women for today’s world? the expectation that young adults will have a much higher degree of control? But what if they don’t?
How can we as Montessori parents, teachers, schools, and systems, support the changing expectations of young adults and prepare them for the post-secondary world where the expectations are higher than those of the four year old in the supermarket?
The world we (the adults in the room) grew up in is not the same as that of our current students. Physiologically, science suggests that we are not different; however, earlier civilizations did not have cell phones and Instagram™.
If our goal is ultimately to prepare students for the next stage of their life, whether it be university, a trade, etc. they have expectations as adults (even if they are not) that they need to be prepared for and the learning curve is not as long as it once was.
In closing, while we consider Grace and Courtesy as a fundamental component of the Early Childhood curriculum, is it time to re-examine the importance for students in the third plane (12- to 18-year-olds)? As we prepare them for the succeeding experience, should this emphasis carry a capital G and C for our older students?
Robin Howe, EdD is a Montessori kid, a Montessori certified teacher (at all levels except infants), and a Senior Consultant for the Montessori Foundation.
