A Man’s Guide to Good Cheating

A Man’s Guide to Good Cheating “…What MOST Men Want To Know …But what ALL Women Should Know”

Christopher P. Nokio

Synchronicity

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CAUTION

Just like Morpheus did for Neo and the top-hatted rabbit did for Alice I want to warn you that once you enter my world EVERYTHING changes.

So before you go on I give you a choice. Put this book down now, and go about your lovely life or step in and risk your relationships and your innocence.

Another word of caution, this is a secret book; if you’re a guy this would be obvious, but since it may not be so obvious to

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3 females, TRUST ME, when I tell you , do not let your other or even your friends know you own a copy. In fact, if you’re reading this now in the company of another, laugh at the title, say your man never cheats and walk away.

If you still want to purchase this book then do one more thing. Sign your name on the next page where it says, I accept full responsibility for any thoughts or actions by myself arising out of reading this book.

Whether you sign or not I have no liability in this regard but the signing is more about you than me. Once again, I ask you to trust me on this.

I accept full responsibility for any thoughts or actions by myself arising out of reading this book.

Signature.

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4 CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE A SUCKER. JUST KIDDING. WHY DO MEN CHEAT? Well according to Professor John Smith at the Bullus Shittus Institute, men cheat because of blah blah blah blah.

Who the hell cares why they cheat? I don’t and I’m willing to bet you don’t either. Otherwise you would be reading Why Men Cheat? Instead of A Man’s Guide to Good Cheating… Dah! So turn the page and let’s dive right in.

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1: NEVER ADMIT Never, ever, ever admit to cheating or its accompanying activities.

There is no greater mistake than to admit. Fuck Oprah, Dr. Phil, Joey Greco of Cheaters and anyone else who says you should.

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6 In fact, even if your girl pushes open the door and catches you buck naked pumping away on some bitch;

cover your face, run out of the room and return home later that day or next, plop down on your couch, take your shoes off, put on the TV and ask her to go get you a beer or something to eat, as if nothing had ever happened.

Even though she thought she was 1000% sure it was you she saw, this tactic along with your continued denial of any wrongdoing will create as little as 1% doubt

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7 in her mind. This 1% is enough to keep her sane and you alive.

The older the incident and the more resolute you remain as to your innocence, the greater the percentage of her doubt becomes, until one day she, as well as you, will begin to doubt her lying eyes.

The preceding example, as improbable as it sounds, is actually true, told to a group of graduating high school students by a factory worker, on a visit to a beer plant.

Whether or not you believe in its authenticity, it is the most extreme example of “Never Admitting�, possible. And, it is necessary to demonstrate why you should never admit.

If you follow the guidelines in the rest of this book, this scenario is very unlikely to occur. However, whilst this example may not occur, no matter how careful you think you are, fuck-ups do occur, which leads us into guideline number two (2).

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2: LYING Lying for our purposes is the art of failing to reveal all, part or most of a story.

Sounds complicated huh? Don’t worry; you have been doing it all your life. It is just to what degree and success.

While most will tell you that lying requires a good memory, which is true in most cases, you can follow simple rules if you have not been so blessed.

Whenever cheating there are two easy ways to lie; one, let the story have some truth to it. This makes it easy for you to tell because most of it actually happened and more importantly it makes it easier to recall if questions arise about it a month later by your sneaky wife or girlfriend.

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So a night out with Jerry and some other guys from work that ended up with you meeting a drunk chick and going back to her place for two hours of wild fucking, which saw you home at four in the morning, turns into a night out with Jerry and some other guys from work, with Jerry meeting a drunk chick and you driving the two of them to her house, where he tells you he will only be a minute and ends up taking two hours, because he was having wild sex causing you to reach home at four in the morning.

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10 It would not hurt if Jerry was your supervisor or outright boss and when you came home you were pissing mad.

Voila! Both stories, though very different in the most important aspects, becomes easy to tell and recall because they contain most of the same elements, just in the way that is best for you.

The second and possibly harder way, is to tell a story that is ridiculously incredible, yet simple and easy to remember.

After your night out with the guys, you were in the car park, the last to leave, when your keys fell into a storm drain and you spent the next two hours fishing it out.

Simple, yet ridiculously incredible not to have actually happened. Two things

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11 immediately happen. Your wife/girlfriend thinks this story is too stupid for you to make up and secondly because the story is so incredible it makes it easier to recall.

It would help your lie if after leaving the drunk chick’s place you stop and spill some stinky drain water on your pants, put some dirt on your shirt and grime on your hands.

The story becomes more believable because you have added tactile/physical proof to it and your partner becomes distracted thinking that her prayers for you to have a miserable time out with the boys actually worked!

Now whether it be element rearranging or ridiculously incredible, the more you repeat this story the more believable it becomes, even to you.

If your memory is really terrible, you could try handwriting it down and then destroying the copy. If you still think you are not ready for all that drama then the next guideline will surely help.

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3: PRACTICE LYING Mohammed Ali, Michael Jordan, and David Beckham are all testaments to the power of natural talent. But all these great athletes will tell you that natural talent is not enough and it is best accompanied by hard work and a lot of practice.

Now while the 5’2� white nerd will never be Like Mike, he can become fairly competent at basketball with enough hard work and practice.

So too, lying needs practice. And just like most other activities you become more and more competent with practice.

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13 Start small. Lie about the time you got up, how many pairs of socks you own, what you ate for lunch, the last time you cut your fingernails. In short, lie about everything you can possibly lie about.

This gets you into the habit of lying and it strengthens your lying muscles in preparation for game time. You will also find that lying for little shit is fun and it allows you to test people’s gullibility; a skill that is always handy.

Now, another word of caution; only lie about little insignificant things that can not be easily verified, otherwise you are apt to be labelled as a LIAR, by all that know you.

Everyone works or knows of some guy they secretly laugh at behind his back because his lies are so plentiful and transparent. You don’t want to be that guy.

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14 I know what you’re thinking. I said to lie about everything you possibly lie about. What gives? Well, I and I also tested your gullibility. attention.

just can lied Pay

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4: ASSEMBLE A TEAM/HUNT IN PACKS Going back to the Jordan’s of the world, they all will tell you, no matter how good your individual skills are the right team is the key to phenomenal success. In fact, many an average player, on teams with great players, will tell you that they benefited immensely from just being around them. So whether you are a marquee player or just average, there are mutual benefits to teamwork.

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16 Okay. So job one is to get a marquee player. Now I know that you might be tempted to think that you are that individual but I’m guessing you’re not, otherwise, why the fuck would you be reading this book! So, you’re not the star on the team, but don’t fret. Uneasy is the head that wears the crown. Unlike what Mel Brooks told us in “History of the World” that, while it is good to be the king, it is far better to be a close associate of the king, especially one that knows all the kings secrets.

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17 What makes a good marquee player?

Physical attributes – whether we like to admit it or not evolution dictates that we are slaves to physical attractiveness. Attractive people make more money than uglier people, so don’t be surprised that they also get more tail. Other attributes of Marquee players range from confidence, a sense of humour and a gregarious personality. In short, a marquee player should possess attributes and skills that increase the sheer number of prey available to the group.

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18 Ideally the pack size should be four, can not be less than three and should not be more than five. Four is best because apart from the marquee player it could be countered with a weak player and in the middle, two stealth players, one of which is really the leader. Like any good team it should compromise players of different capabilities and skills. I know what you are thinking, but why would I want to tag on to a weak player? Well the answer is simple.

One, there is the sympathy factor.

Some women like bastard cases, and two, he provides much needed contrast. Women know this tactic all to well; this is why most attractive women have an “ugly” friend.

Hollywood does it as well; it is called the “B” Movie.

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19 Team assembled, time to go hunting.

Not so fast. There is one critical factor I deliberately left out. It is called the “as much to lose� factor. That’s right; every member of the team must have as much to lose as the other. So if the shit hits the fan, this way, everyone stays in line and there are no midnight cathartic confessions to wives and girlfriends by one team member which translates to serious concerns for the other members.

Now the reasons I say it is serious concerns and nothing greater is because there are tactics you can use to protect yourself, but this will be discussed in a later segment.

The other critical factor of the group dynamic is that every member must be focused on the prize.

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New pussy is your goal, not a new wife, new girlfriend or some kind of sustained relationship.

So now that you have your team I believe we can move on to the prize, the Outside Woman.

The outside woman, other woman, piece on the side, horner woman, what ever you call her, is essentially a woman outside the realm of your stable often productive relationship. For our purposes she will be referred to as the Outside Woman or OW

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21 and just like the phonics implies she has the ability to cause you pain. But pain is so much related to pleasure that the OW is worth it, trust me.

Before we go on I would like to present you with the Outside Woman’s Declaration of Rights.

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5. THE OUTSIDE WOMAN HAS NO RIGHTS. I can not stress this any louder. If there was one thing I had to choose, one thing in this entire publication that is key to GOOD cheating, it is this. Losing sight of this diminishes your power and jeopardizes your relationship with your primary, wife, girlfriend etc.

To quote Jay z in his 2003 hit Bonnie and Clyde with his girlfriend at the time, now his wife, Beyonce.

“The Problem is – you dudes treat the ones that you lovin with the same respect that you treat the ones that you humpin.”

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23 For those of you who are still not clear on this, the following list is for your benefit.

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT To call me For me to answer my phone To ask me about my wife and kids To question me about other women To want us to go out to “Places” To Presents For special occasions To my time in general

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6. HOW TO CHOOSE AN OUTSIDE WOMAN The outside woman best case scenario must include certain key elements.

INVOLVED Number one on the list is that she should be married or at least involved in a relationship. This is to ensure that she has as much too lose as you do; a common theme.

NO DRAMA MAMAS.

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25 She should also be the type of girl that is not into histrionics and or drama. A no drama mama is best because she limits the chances of confrontation.

SCHOLAR OR POOR SELF IMAGE

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26 Typically very intelligent women are better to deal with because they are more self assured, independent and less needy, qualities that are needed when dealing with an absent man who typically visits for sex.

On the other end of the spectrum is the woman who typically has a low self image and is willing to compromise her principles and morals to be with someone else’s man.

We will discuss later the pros and cons of both types.

WE DON’T WATCH FACE ONLY WAIST.

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27 A West Indian saying, popularized

by Soca Artiste Bunji Garlin, which means that looks take a back seat to physical attributes, such as ass, tits and plain out slutiness.

Remember you are not looking for a next wife or girlfriend; you are looking for a fuck buddy.

On a side note, many women struggle to understand how the man that

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28 they treated so well could have cheated on them. Likewise many outside observers also question the sanity of a man who leaves his beautiful, near perfect wife, to go get some on the outside.

It is because waist and not face takes priority, but perhaps more importantly, there is always one pussy better than the one you are presently fucking and that is new pussy.

As rap star Nas so delicately put it in his ode to reality, Oochie Wally, “There is no pussy like new pussy�.

To prove my point I would like to cite two famous examples; Hugh Grant cheating on Elizabeth Hurley and Eric Benet

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29 doing the same to Halle Berry. If this isn’t proof of the incredible motivational power of new pussy, guided by the, “We don’t watch face only waist principle”, then I don’t know what is.

CHURCH MOUSE As quiet as a church mouse; ideally your outside woman must resist the

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30 temptation to blab about you and your clandestine relationship.

For this reason women with limited female friends are best. And a good way to test her attention to secrets is to tell her something mundane but just important enough for her to want to tell another and see if she does. Full marks if she did not and exercise caution if she did.

THE SLUTTINESS FACTOR How willing and able your outside woman is to engage in activities that some

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31 would find taboo is a big plus when choosing an outside woman.

The best way to find out this is to have conversations that bring up these topics, followed by direct questions about her willingness to engage in such.

It is best that this be done in a group setting and that another member on your team or another “girl� associated with one of your team members broach the topic - Yes guys a

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32 well schooled Outside woman can be a valuable asset to your team members.

Why would she do this you ask?

Well most women like company, especially when they are doing something which others can describe as morally questionable.

Ever heard the saying “misery loves company?�

THE WHORE FACTOR An old man walks into a bar looks around then takes a seat by a young beautiful woman. After a smile her way, he

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33 pulls out a black American Express card and plops it down onto a fortune magazine with picture of him on the cover. Seeing that he has caught the young girl’s attention, he leans in close to her.

“Would you have sex with me for a billion dollars?”

She looks around, and, secure that no one else heard his indecent proposal, she whispers back yes, shaking her head as she does.

A big smile comes to the old man’s face and he leans in again.

“How about for two hundred dollars?”

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34 This time she balks and responds.

“What do I look like, a whore?”

An even bigger smile, the old man retorts.

“Honey, we’ve already established that, we’re just negotiating price.”

Laugh, laugh, giggle, giggle; a timeless joke to say the least, meant to point out that all women have a price. The joke is also very instructional into the thinking of women.

Her looking around to see if anyone had heard the proposal was an indication of how aware women are of being perceived as a whore by others, but perhaps less

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35 obvious was her lying to herself about her whoredom, even in the face of someone who had obviously established that fact.

The truth is no woman likes to be perceived as a whore. For an outside woman, this is magnified a million fold.

An innocent gesture by you, out of the goodness of your heart; where for example, you offer a little help with a bill, could see a disproportionate response that could easily turn a good time into a really fucked up one.

Not to fret, knowing your enemy’s trigger points puts you in an advantageous position. Most of you would agree that to avoid this irrational, highly emotional response, simply don’t make such a gesture.

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36 And you would be right, but an opportunity of enormous proportions presents itself here.

You could create the conditions that trigger that response, but when the predictable reaction occurs, reassure her of the innocence of your gesture and promise that in future you will not even entertain such ideas. To ensure that nothing like this ever occurs in future; make a pact that she will bear the brunt of any financial impact of your relationship.

The two of you walk away happy, she feels empowered as an independent woman, and you get an even freer ride. She gets to shirk the label of whore in her mind and you get to milk the cow for free.

If you are really skilled and fortunate, you could push this scenario to

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37 the point where she becomes more than free and actually starts being a source of extra spending money for you. If you are really good, the next step sees you becoming a virtual gigolo, where in her mind she has made you her whore. In her mind this makes it all better. “I’m not the whore he is” - such is the delusion of a weak mind.

LOVE Your outside woman must love you but not be in love with you. This is a delicate balance and despite all the preparations, choices and training, regrettably most

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38 outside women eventually succumb to the dark side and entertain fantasies of becoming more than a fuck buddy.

Behaviourally speaking, it is impossible for persons engaging in highly charged sex to not have some fondness for each other and because women use sex to get love regardless of what they say consciously, most begin to have secret feelings for you.

HOW TO SPOT THE CHANGE Oddly enough it is our own behaviour that initially clues them in and, or confuses them into this kind of response.

Our egos, acting like an independent soldier

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39 in our army, strives on its ability to completely overwhelm the outside woman, as such it is always threatening to push her over the fine line that she walks between love and in love.

So when she says that she is going away with her husband for the weekend, we say silly shit like – “Don’t let him fuck you this weekend because I want “fresh” pussy on Monday.” A test of their loyalty aimed at satisfying your ego turns into some kind of emotional pact.

So confused and loving it she takes the next step and forms a secret pact that she holds close to herself, which basically translates in her mind into “I am not just a Fuck Buddy”, I may have started out that way but our relationship has moved on, grown, taken the next step, and any other

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40 bullshit explanation the female mind can concoct.

So in quick time without you knowing it, you are in a different relationship and before you know it she is subtly having you break all the rules outlined in her having no rights.

Now let me explain, even if you understood your ego and was able to control it, even under best case management conditions women eventually see and demand more. It is there credo; it is what defines female to male relationships. That is, them changing us.

All women whether they admit it or not or whether they are conscious of it or not invariably are mandated to make us better, save us, CHANGE us.

What this means for our purposes, is that, no matter how good the pussy is, and yes it varies immensely, it has a shelf-life, an expiry date, so to speak.

Understanding this and appreciating that no matter how skilled and experienced you are; recognizing that there is a time to

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41 get out is crucial to your survival in the Cheating game.

I can not stress this enough, because I have seen many a fellow soldier die on the battlefield because he succumbed to a sneak attack from a cunning outside woman.

Perhaps, for no other reason given before, the value of your fellow team members is critical in saving you from yourself and the she-devil that your outside woman has become.

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Don’t worry; below I am listing the deadly signs of your demise so that you and your fellow team members can present them to you as objective fact.

7. THE SIGNS OF AN OW EXPIRY DATE KISSING

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43 Yes kissing, the little harmless gesture of putting lips together. It is perhaps the first and clearest sign that you will get that the relationship is changing.

It is for this reason that some soldiers stay clear of any kinds of kissing. But because I know that kissing is such a deeply passionate act that often enflames the passions of a woman, leading to nirvana like experiences for you, I recommend that kissing only be done in the context of sexual activity. It should NEVER be done in meet and depart circumstances. Yes, a simple peck goodbye could be the opening that your outside woman is looking for.

CUDDLING After a good round or two of rigorous sex, men are famous for falling

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44 asleep. I know we work long hours and servicing at least two women has its challenges, but some women’s pussies are like Nyquil - put your ass fast asleep.

As a general rule, the sweeter the pussy, the more Nyquil it contains and as such the more dangerous it is because when your ass falls asleep, she doesn’t and when your comfortable ass rolls in your sleep and lazily drapes a hand over her midsection, she interprets this as you exposing your hidden feelings to her. You wake up spooning and before long she’s telling you one night lets just hug and sleep. And you with your tired ass think “what a great idea”.

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45 No dummy she is in the red zone about to score a touchdown on your ass and you are going to lose the game.

QUESTIONS

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46 How are your kids? How is the wife?

Did you have a good weekend at the beach with your family?

Yes, simple innocuous questions like these are the outside woman’s way of testing the strength of your armour.

Remember, it is a battle, a subtle battle that you wage each and every day with your outside woman. You have to remember this. But don’t let her define the terms of the war; you are in charge and the appropriate response to “Questions” like that are to brush them off and ignore them with a smile.

This way, she gets the hint and there is no tension left over from you lecturing her about her questions.

AN OCCASION SLIP

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47 Different from an occasional slip, an occasion slip only has to happen once and you are in deep water over your head. If all is clearly understood, a good outside woman knows that she won’t be seeing you for Christmas, New Year’s, valentines and any other man and woman or family occasion.

But stealthy invader that she is, she knows that you two celebrating her birthday does not violate your rules about other occasions; this is an opening that they are going to use. So what do you do?

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48 Very early on in the stage when you two were getting to know one another, when she tells you her birth date, you tell her how ironic, it’s my daughter’s birth date as well.

No children; then tell her it’s your favourite niece’s birthday or your goddaughter’s.

The point is, to plant early on in the relationship or potential relationship, the seeds that allow you, her birthday out, without the tension.

I will discuss in more detail later on, strategies, tactics and story foreshadowing.

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49 Now, it must be a child’s birthday, because one; it creates in the outside woman’s mind an impression that he cares about kids - always a good thing - and two, it creates a “connection” between you two.

Women are so into that kind of shit.

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50 Do not, under any circumstances, say it’s your mom’s birthday, your sister’s or your wife’s.

Even if it is, use a kid because that connection can be perceived as weird and most women have all kinds of unwritten, irrational rules of engagement when it comes to other women’s men.

“I can’t fuck him, me and his wife were born on the same day… mess up my karma and shit.” Such is the hypocrisy and delusion of women.

I don’t think I need to remind you, but I will anyway, that if I’m stressing about her birthday, which means absolutely

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51 nothing to you, it means that you can not slip and let a family occasion see you with your outside woman. Not even if your family is out of the country and you’re all alone.

Take your lonely ass to some kind of show, do some work, write that book you’ve been dreaming about, but do not fall to temptation and find yourself with your outside woman on a special occasion. You will regret it.

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52 CRYING/MOOD SWINGS Anecdotally speaking, the quality of pussy has a direct relationship with the sanity of the woman. Yes, crazy women fuck better; so do girls under five-feet three inches and girls with small breasts.

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53 I suspect the reason for smallbreasted women outperforming their more buxom counterparts, may have something to do with our evolution as a species, in that, competing with the more highly desirable/fertile big breasted women required some advantageous skill, which was able to make them also desirable to the dominant men in the tribe.

As a consequence and this is again based on anecdotal evidence, small-breasted women make better outside women.

Ah ha! You didn’t think a bastard like me gave any thought to science huh?

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54 As for women under five foot three I think it has something to do with the proximity of the brain and pussy, being so close, they often have devastating effects on one another.

But I digress. Back to crazy women.

We love them because their irrationality and odd behaviour often manifests in passion, sparks and fire. And like a moth to a flame we are hypnotized by it.

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55 But just like the moth that gets too close to the flame suffers a fast and gruesome death, so too you can fall victim to the crazy mood swings of the highly charged outside woman.

Perhaps no better indicator of trouble up ahead is tears flowing from the eyes of your outside woman.

After the spasms of your orgasm has unfrozen your cum face, your eyes clear to see a tear in your outside woman’s eyes.

What do you do? Don’t panic, she has probably done it many times before; it is just the first time you have noticed. This is

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56 her game and you have to remember; engage on your terms.

So roll off, or push her off, and don’t say a word about it. Some other time when she’s laughing her head off about some clever joke that you gave her, ambush her with it. This way, you engage on your terms and you strike in a moment of weakness for her; she is happy, it would be hard for her to swing to sad, brooding and gloomy so quickly.

This way if she dismisses it as nothing, then you did your part, and if she decides to talk about why she was crying, you pay attention and listen, not saying anything.

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57 Impact lessened, situation diffused and the game played on your terms; score one for you.

A lot of good could come out of this situation. If, after she pours out her heart, you “promise to take her out or break one of you ideal guidelines “Just for her”.

I know what you’re thinking, I told you not to break rules, so why am I telling you this shit now. Have I gone soft? No, in fact, what I am suggesting is that you merely tell her you are going to break rules but when she’s all proud about breaking through to you, you disappoint her ass.

As a scalpel converts a mere doctor to a life giving surgeon, so too does disappoint in the hands of a master cheater.

Disappointment is the preferred tool to cut away the beginnings of any cancers

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58 that threaten to overwhelm your outside woman, prolonging life of the relationship which translates to more fun times for you.

Simply put, it is better that she thinks you are a DOG than a pussy. Besides, this is a good way to reinforce your rules, warning her against trying to break them anytime soon.

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59 Another explanation for the crying and mood swings is the ever lurking RED light. Periods, menstruation, time of the month; what ever you call it; it amounts to the same thing for us.

Avoid outside woman like the plague. She is of no real use to you in this state, although some women are very horny in this time and if that’s your thing go forth, but be aware of the dangers in this state.

Personally, I have long outgrown the boyish veracity that would see me mix sex, even an out of this world blow job, and stinky blood.

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60 I DON’T THINK I CAN DO THIS ANYMORE. A statement for the ages. A loaded minefield, it can be your worst enemy or your best friend depending on how you respond to it.

What does this statement mean exactly? It means that your outside woman has in her mind reached a point of doubt and what she’s really saying is that she wants a renegotiation of the terms and conditions of your relationship.

Your worst enemy; you get sucked in and you renegotiate and compromise, leaving her happy or best case a friend; you say “I respect your decision” and calmly walk away.

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61 If the relationship ends right there, you have successfully engaged and disengaged without losing anything.

If she is bluffing, an opportunity to renegotiate terms and conditions only imagined in your deepest darkest fantasies presents itself.

She comes away reinforced in her mind that the only thing you two have in common that keeps you all together is sex.

And trust me when I tell you, it is at this vulnerable stage that you can get them to do anything your sexual heart and mind desires; your very own porn star, existing for the moment, at least, for your sexual manipulation.

Get maximum use out of this condition as it may be brief but definitely intense.

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62 I’M LEAVING HIM OR IT Perhaps no two words are more important a sign that the best by date of your outside woman has come. As we discussed before, ideally your outside woman should also be in a committed relationship. This means a husband, a boyfriend or even some demanding career, or course of study.

This committed activity not only previously dulled the sharp edges of your intermittent relationship; it also provided an emotional attachment external to you.

Women need some kind of emotional attachment to complete them, or some shit like that, and as a cheating man you have to avoid becoming that item.

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63 Gently persuade her of the merits of her current emotional focus and if that does not work, more forcefully remind her of your unavailability.

Still not able to convince her of her impending error, then my friend it is time to haul ass.

They put an expiry date on that delicious looking piece of tenderloin for a reason and although you could chance eating it after the expiry date, eating it after increases the risk of it poisoning your ass.

I know it is hard to see good food go to waste, but it is better to throw it away and live to eat another day, not to mention, another piece you get later, may be even more succulent, delicious and fulfilling. I am hungry and my mouth is watering.

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64 So you’ve left the bitch and all is well. This is ideal, but we all know this world is not ideal and sometimes there is what the CIA term, blowback.

No, blowback does not mean going back for a blow ever so often; it means “trouble this way comes.”

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65 You have to be aware of trouble even when you are not aware of it and for this reason I have developed some techniques and tactics to be explored later on in this publication.

Key to these blowback foiling tactics is the wife or girlfriend from now on referred to as your primary woman. In our next segment we will be discussing her.

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8. PRIMARY WOMAN As opposed to your Outside Woman, almost everything is different for her.

If we were to liken your outside woman to a subject of your court at your, the King’s, beck and call, subservient to all your needs, then your primary woman is your Queen, blessed to be by your side and your exalted empress on a pedestal.

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67 Good cheating demands that your primary is your most precious ally.

You see despite what you may have heard that “men want a lady in public and a whore in bed” the reality is that we really don’t want that.

Ask any man who has been married for more than seven years and if he’s honest he will tell you. Men don’t want to think of their wife as a whore under any circumstances.

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68 Throw in a couple of kids and the thought that the woman who you want to swallow your cum ,is using that same mouth to kiss your kids on the lips before they head out to school, and the separation of lady in public, whore in bed duality seems crazy.

This is why most marriages fizzle out sexually the longer it goes, throw in children and you are doomed to a hell of mediocre, sparse sex that impacts negatively on all your relationships; wife, kids, family and friends.

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69 So going out there and cheating, being a real man, doing what millions of years of evolution insist that you do; actually brings joy and vigour to all your relationships.

Cheating is not only about you and your happiness; it’s about everyone and their happiness. Pay attention to this. And as I said in the first part of the book – the longer you say something – the more believable it becomes – even to you.

Enough of the theatrics; let us refocus on your primary woman.

Queen; that is what your primary must be.

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70 PAY HOMAGE TO THE QUEEN THE RING How many movies have we seen where the cheating husband, just before he meets, or attempts to meet an outside woman, takes off his wedding ring?

Those movies are written by idiots who want you to feel guilty about your cheating. They do that because they are trying to create appropriate drama to make a connection with the audience.

But remember, you want as little drama in this activity as possible, so this is clear evidence that you do the opposite and don’t take off your wedding band.

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71 Wear it as a badge of honour, a symbol of some woman’s choice of mate; a symbol of your skill and prowess as a man.

Apart from paying the respect to the primary, the ring has magical powers to protect you from drama from outside women by acting as a filter that will weed out all those women who have issues with, OPP - Other People’s Property, to quote Naughty By Nature.

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72 Don’t worry, there are plenty left and those that are left, immediately understand your intentions and their role, even if they don’t like admitting it to themselves. It sends a clear signal that allows you to clearly segue into the “Rights of an Outside Woman”.

More than this, you would be surprised at how many women see the ring as a challenge.

For them, it immediately increases their curiosity as to why another of their kind would choose you.

They ask themselves, are you a good provider, does he have money, nice car, stable job, good in bed, big dick?

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73 All these questions are enough for them to venture into your spider web and get caught by its sticky strands.

Now I know some of you are going.

“But mister, I’m not married…I don’t even have a girlfriend.”

Well to you I say.

“Wise up dummy”

The ring is symbolic and you should wear one if you have a girlfriend, fiancé, or even if you’re just a lonely bastard. The effect is the same, so even if you are a single guy just playing the field, this is for you.

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74 This book’s application is universal.

Anybody could use these techniques; adapt them for their own purposes. So regardless of age, ethnicity and geographic location, there is benefit in here for you.

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75 NEVER BAD PRIMARY WOMAN.

MOUTH

YOUR

Married man tales; these are the stories a lot of men tell about their primaries, believing that this is the best way to get pussy.

I believe it is also used as a way to alleviate guilt and shirk responsibility for your actions. Good tactically, but disastrous in action, especially in the long run.

“My wife don’t do this, she doesn’t like that”, are some of the complaints that men use in the pursuit of new pussy.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

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76 Firstly, as I explained earlier, you have to have the mindset that you have nothing to feel guilty about, and even if you did, nobody likes a whiny pussy of a man.

So don’t be going around the office telling anyone about how bad your personal life is. It’s personal and it can get you in trouble as an astute co-worker could interpret this as an opportunity to go and fuck your wife.

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77 The other and perhaps more critical reason, at least for our immediate purposes, is that creating in the mind of the other woman any impression that there is hope for you two, is patently false and riddled with dangerous long term consequences.

You have to understand that there is NO FUTURE for you and the outside woman, because your relationship is based on lies and deceit.

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78 No matter what she says in your face, the truth is that if you allow your outside woman to become your primary, the mistrust that she will have for you will make your life miserable.

You cheated on your primary with her, so you can and will cheat on her with another, newer, more exciting outside woman.

This is her reality, but don’t be fooled, it is yours as well. Don’t let fantasies about you being super cock; cloud the reality that if she was willing to cheat on her primary as well with you, the likelihood of history repeating itself is pretty good.

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79 Internalizing this fact lets you understand the reality of the importance of your Primary. She is queen and no other shall be.

This is why I predict that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s relationship will eventually crumble.

Jolie’s attempt to “create” the super family by adopting children from all over the world is really to first of all stake Pitt in the relationship beyond just her, and it is her way to show him that she is an uber mom.

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80 The only difference between her and the Ocotmom, Nadya Sulaman and Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate plus eight “fame”, is the fact that Jolie is actually famous for her talent, she’s hot as hell and the idiots at the UN have made her a goodwill ambassador.

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81 Jolie is an extreme version of the selfish and understandably immature teenager who “gets� pregnant so she and her high school beau will be together forever and ever.

Brad made the mistake of his life when he allowed some pussy on the side to become his Primary. He will pay dearly for it. Perhaps one of you reading this book will prove me right.

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82 DON’T EAT WHERE YOU SHIT. Animals instinctively understand this basic survival principle.

Have you ever come across a dog that shits in his food bowl?

Well, if you did, you should immediately carry it by the vet and have it put down for being a dumb ass dog.

So too you will be put down, if you do not abide by this basic survival rule.

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83 So what does this mean exactly?

It means that you are not allowed to hunt in areas that potentially jeopardize your future sustenance. This means that your wife’s family, friends and neighbours are OFF LIMITS.

It includes her co-workers and ideally yours as well. The reason that your co-workers are off limits is simply because this has the potential to interfere with your finances and as such create enormous trouble for you.

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84 Since the temptation for co-worker affairs and the fertile hunting ground it presents, whilst ideal, it is not the place to EAT. However, understanding the tremendous allure of the workplace, I deal with this special circumstance later on in the publication.

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85 But for now let us refocus on why it is important to avoid eating shit.

It should be obvious to even the dumbest of you reading this publication as to why fucking your wife’s family is a big no-no.

But since I know that it takes all kinds to make the world, I will explain.

Simply put, blood is thicker than water and washing away the blood from your cut up body with water is exactly what you are likely to be doing if you put your God out of your thoughts and fuck your wife’s sister.

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86 I know some of you are probably saying I’m being melodramatic, but be warned that your sane, calm, sweet, angel of a wife that you have, will become the devil herself, if you embarrass her, your kids and her family, if you go the sister route.

I understand the motivations that might see this slip; a younger fresher version of your wife, on a visit to your house, dressed in skimpy revealing outfits, lazing around the home when wife is away at work.

Throw in the fact that sisters often grow up competing for the same shit, which sees little sis showing you a lot of attention, and you have an irresistible temptation.

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87 Don’t do it son; NO PUSSY, is worth destroying your life over, no matter how easy it looks for the picking. As sure as there is night and day, you will be caught.

You see most family relationships, especially sisters, are characterized by emotional shifts.

Family members hate today and love tomorrow, easily transitioning through the emotional spectrum. So today when little sis hates big sis and plots to fuck her husband you - all is well.

But no matter how long, most sisters eventually work their shit out and as part of that process, emotional cleansing usually involves unburdening of secrets; translated, it means you’re fucked; and not in a good way.

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88 Even if the hate continues between the two, even if it’s secret hate, there will come a time when the two sisters are in a familial confrontation and right there in front of your family and theirs, complete with young ones, including your own, little sis drops the bomb.

“Oh yeah, but your husband doesn’t think I’m worthless.”

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89 After beating the shit out of her sister, your wife turns her attention to you.

And I know you would not like to suffer the indignity of having your kids see their mom put a beat down on their dad. Not to mention if she has six brothers; all of whom have some military or law enforcement background that would assure grievous bodily harm to you.

This warning, whilst most applicable to the sister, because of sibling rivalry, applies to a lesser, but still critical extent for cousins, nieces, aunts and let us not forget the hot moms out there.

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90 The second untouchable group is your neighbours. Every neighbourhood is blessed with a woman or a group of women that the men of the neighbourhood would give an arm to sleep with. Trust me when I tell you, it would cost a lot more.

A nasty public scene with you, your wife, your outside woman neighbour and her spouse is a nightmare scenario that should sober even the most lust drunk of you.

For those that are still intoxicated with the idea, I urge you to calculate the damage to your kids, other neighbours and life long friends.

The truth is, as the neighbourhood puts pressure on you and you feel like you’re under the microscope, what your primary feels is a hundred times worse,

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91 because for a woman, these things are very valuable and all that she has to go through, you get punished for. The pain ultimately ends on you.

Your Primary’s friends are the last, but not insignificant group that is circled with a big red warning label.

All the warnings of the previous groups apply to this group, but this group comes with particular complications.

Unlike the two previous groups, the brevity and tentacles of the wife’s friends complicates your ability to avoid this.

And, as you will see later on, it is tactically important that you avoid your wife’s friends like poison.

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92 You don’t want to be placed in a position where a casual meeting or some heavy flirting with some nice chick opens the doorway for an uncomfortable situation of you coming on to one of your wife’s friends that you did not know about. Worse yet, it’s a friend of your wife’s friend.

You know your wife’s immediate family and you know your neighbours, but your wife’s friends and extensions of friends are for the most part unknown to you.

For this reason, the other members of your team possess enormous value. Whilst we will discuss particular higher level tactics later on in this publication, a well run and organized hunter pack acts as a buffer to prevent this stealth group becoming problematic.

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93 A big smile on her face, the girl at bar that you have been flirting with says, “You don’t remember me do you? I’m your wife’s friend Karen’s friend.”

Don’t flinch, turn to your buddies sitting at the table and wave to one, who immediately puts up his hand and you say, “I was just breaking the ice for my buddy over there; he really wants to meet you and they were teasing me to see if I still had it.”

A big smile on your face you continue to flirt by saying. “So do I?”

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94 You have not only deferred responsibility, but by continuing to flirt and not acting like you got caught with your hand in the cookie jar, you will convince her that your confidence probably means you are not lying to her and therefore even if she tells her friend and it reaches your wife, you can easily say, that’s not a nice girl for insinuating something more when she knows the truth.

It would also be best to tell your wife some time later that you bumped into one of her friend’s friend.

“She is not your friend honey” You will discredit her and push open a door to be used in case you genuinely get caught by that same “friend” in the future.

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95 “Babe, remember the last time how she tried to create confusion, what’s different now? She is not your real friend.”

It always helps to subtly hint that your wife’s friends want you. Say shit like, “When you are not around Shelly acts different.”

Women, even though they don’t like to admit it, know that their friends if given a chance will sleep with their men.

To paraphrase comedienne Chris Rock in one of his stand up shows – A guy meets his best friends girl and he thinks, I want a woman just like that. A girl meets her best friend’s guy and she thinks; I want Him.

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96 This foreshadowing is important as it creates tiny exits for you. This overall concept will be discussed in detail later on in the publication.

The best way to avoid all this drama is to hunt friends, acquaintances and co workers of your Hunting buddies. This way you have an inside connection doing the groundwork for you and you also have an inside man to warn you of impending doom and to dissuade his friend of any stupid irrational moves that could jeopardise you.

They can’t hunt where they shit but you can, and vice versa.

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97 PROPERTY RIGHTS Men are creatures of habit; we support the same sporting teams throughout our lives, we hang out in the same places, we eat at the same restaurants and we have our favourite watering holes.

Getting a Primary Woman does not change this. In fact, most times you and your Primary create a whole list of new properties that you and more importantly her, stamp your rights on.

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98 You know these places because after a while, you yourself start referring to them like it’s hers.

So the mall close to your home stops being “Whatever Mall” and becomes “Primary Woman’s name Mall”.

The Primary’s ability to develop property rights is astonishing and before long, if you check carefully, the place is littered with places that both you and she define as her places.

This list of properties doesn’t only include her places, but all of yours as well.

But more than that, there are places that she does not own, but merely has a rental stake in.

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99 I say, merely because, you and her may have passed there on a chance and you may never ever pass there again, but merely does not describe how she perceives the place.

Whilst popping into your favourite motel to “fuck” when you two were originally dating, places no significance on that shithole in your mind, in hers, it is the place where the two of you “made love” and as such, it carries with it, huge romantic responsibility.

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100 But why are her property rights important. It is important for the same reasons that not fucking her family etc. are important. Any mischief in these properties is a violation of your commitment to her.

Translated, do not allow your outside woman to part take in any activities on these places. They are hallowed ground and must be treated as such.

By now, I hope you would have detected a common thread; that is, Primary Woman’s reaction, works proportionately with the value she places on the particular individuals and places. This is because a realistic Primary Woman instinctively understands the roaming man.

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101 Whether she chooses to label it as a lapse in judgment, “Man being Man”, or any other characterization that keeps her sane, all humans understand degrees of fuck up’s.

And she is right; a good cheating man doesn’t believe in his heart that he’s leaving his primary for another, so why should the Primary believe this either.

What is of paramount concern for the Primary is the illusion that all is well.

Maybe illusion is not the right word, because all is well if it is well.

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102 Your primary understands the significance of the outside woman to you; actually that should be insignificance; this comforts her, it keeps her sane. But if you let the outside woman, appear to have any importance, you shatter that perception for your Primary.

Truth be told, a Primary doesn’t really want to deal with the thoughts that her man cheat, so if you keep it as far away from her life and the things that she cherishes, all is well.

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103 She understands that you can still love her, because men are able to separate lust and love. Men can have sex without love. This basic concept also lets you understand why cheating is different for a man and a woman.

Whilst men can have sex with another without having an emotional attachment, it is quite the opposite for women. Women can not have sex with a man without some emotional attachment.

This is why cheating women’s relationships, often suffer irreparable damage, but cheating men’s relationships often flourish.

This is very key for the next guideline.

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9. DODGE OUTSIDE WOMAN’S SPOUSE Over a good career of cheating, it becomes very likely that you will, at some point in time, have to encounter one of your outside women’s spouses.

You see, women, no matter how rational, do irrational things. So, in a fit of jealous rage, where she “thinks” her spouse is cheating, she blurts out that you and she have been fucking.

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105 Now there are other ways for him to “find out”, but this is the most likely and the most difficult to deal with. Also, the guidelines outlined to deal with the tattle tale OW works for all lesser circumstances, not the other way around.

It is at this point I would like to introduce you to a term that you will be seeing a lot of as you read on, and whose value you will come to appreciate.

“Sowing the seeds.”

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106 Hollywood writers call it a backstory. Persons who partake in games of strategy call it plotting, but for you, it simply means, placing things in the mind of others that can explain and in some cases excuse possible outcomes.

Remember you know the outcome. In this case, your Outside Woman tells her spouse about you and what the two of you have been doing.

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107 Knowing the outcome, allows you to properly prepare for it, so you can sow the seeds or back story; enough information that will allow you to get out of this particular situation.

With our first and most important guideline in mind, you know that admitting is not an option, so when confronted by an angry spouse, you must have something that will trigger his immediate calming.

“She’s only saying it’s me to protect her real man”.

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108 It does not matter how angry this guy is or how prepared he was to use the knife and the gun in his hand to kill you.

Saying these simple set of words, or ones that convey the same message will stop him dead in his tracks.

You have managed in just a few words, to not only take yourself out of this situation, but you have dispersed blame to her and given him what he really wants – “the truth.” Nice huh?

He will hear you out. Once he does, it is important that you say the right thing.

“I am gay and she’s actually fucking Jim from her office”.

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109 This “admission” does two things. It takes you out as a potential threat because you can’t be sexually attracted to his woman and two it gives him a name, face and other target to refocus on.

Now, I know saying you’re gay might be too much for some of you and whilst you can just give him a name and perhaps say you have another girlfriend to vouch for you, I am giving you the best strategy for the worst case scenarios.

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110 M. Night Shyamalan, James Cameron, George Lucas and Stephen Spielberg – all great storytellers, know the Hollywood secret that a story does not have to be true to catch the audience; it merely has to be believable.

Perhaps more than the others, Shyamalan, knows that in order to spring a surprise ending one must have left enough clues along the way.

So when it comes, you say, “Yes, that makes sense” or in Shyamalan’s case “Sixth Sense”.

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111 If you were fortunate/unfortunate enough to have met your OW spouse at the mall, movie theatre, or at a function in the past; that would have been an ideal opportunity to have sown an “I’m really Gay” seed.

As you shake his hand pay him a weird compliment. “Nice shirt”, “Nice shoes”, “Manly hands” or turn to your OW and say “Just as you said, handsome.”

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112 It would definitely help if you bouncing them up at the movies were not an accident and you and one of your hunting buddies were there together, dressed in your most metro sexual clothes.

The time taken by you both to do this could save your life and you all would not even have to go see a movie.

Gay seed sown, lets refocus on what really motivates your OW spouse – the man she is cheating with.

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113 It can’t be some random name that you throw out. You have to have information at your fingertips that you are willing to share with the OW’s spouse, so he can “believe” what you are saying, comes from the heart and it is not some story that you had time to construct.

For this reason it is very important to talk to your OW about potential suitors.

This should be easy since most OWs, tell you stuff like that unsolicited anyway, as a way to test your feelings for them.

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114 In fact, an appropriate response to this probing by your OW, is to encourage a meeting between her and her potential suitor.

This does two things; it reinforces your lack of commitment to her and secondly it provides fodder for your story that you might have to tell her angry spouse at a later date.

So whilst playing the gay card “might” spare your life, snitching on Jim and giving details will ensure it – you are now on his side.

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115 In the court of angry spouse opinion – you have not only discredited the prosecution’s main witness, but you have also managed to point the guilty finger at another. Hell, after pouring out his soul to you at the closest bar, angry spouse, might even feel the need to pay for your beers and the food you ate. Here you can also throw out random names of guys she works with.

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116 You see, we instinctively know that there is a lot of sexual tension at work because we all have felt it, or engaged in it, in some form or the other.

The work environment is like the schoolroom for adults. It is where we learn, further learn and participate in sexual activities. This leads to a topic I promised to deal with in an earlier guideline, cheating at work.

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10. WORK CHEAT In the film, Silence of the Lambs, Dr Hannibal Lecter gives Clarice Starling, an insight that was the catalyst for her capturing her quarry; serial killer Buffalo Bill.

He said, “We covet what we see�; an absolutely brilliant observation and the main reason why the workplace is your most fertile hunting ground. It is your Serengeti, your Amazon, the watering hole where prey congregate; where you get to observe and stalk a huge variety of prey in their natural and most vulnerable environment.

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118 And just like the lion on the African plains, or any other predator for that matter, you obey the first rule of hunting prey; hunt the most vulnerable.

This is why we have seen countless images of a lion with its superior size, strength and skill, killing a lightly built young or sickly gazelle. The lion instinctively knows that attacking bigger, stronger prey could see him get injured and eventually die from starvation. So too must you obey this rule to avoid damage that could have dire consequences.

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119 So how do you identify prey? Keep your eyes open – covet. Just like a herd does, some animals are ostracized, isolated, beaten up and run out of the herd. For the workplace, this would be the woman who none of the other women like. She won’t have many friends and generally speaking, she won’t be a fighter, instead, preferring to do her work, separate and apart from the rest of the workplace.

So whilst isolation and a general peaceful demeanour are the first signs of prey, no better indication of your next meal is signalled, as when she says words to this effect, Sigh! “My husband does not….”

It does not matter what comes next; her complaining about her spouse forgetting a special date, not buying flowers and chocolate anymore, or failing to put down the toilet seat and cover back the tube of toothpaste.

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120 A woman at the workplace complaining about anything her spouse does is like a gazelle bleeding from a wound. Its signal is so loud and clear, that all hunters’ senses peak when it is uttered.

Your next move is to glide in stealthily and see and sometimes test the state of the wound.

A hello, a deep look in the eyes as you pass on the corridor, or an “accidental� bump in an elevator or flight of steps, ensures that she knows that you are there, but not necessarily hunting her as yet, as some of the younger, more inexperienced bucks might be apt to do.

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121 Your next move would be to further isolate her, just like the lion does, and implant seeds of distrust about the other guys preying on her in the workplace.

Don’t be fooled, women know when they are being hunted. And they know how to send out the right signals. The only complication for them is who is going to do the slaughtering. By demonstrating your maturity, honesty and calculation, she will be more likely to fall “victim” to you and not another.

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122 Look at the outcome of a predator stalking its prey. It is swift, often brutal, energy filled and overwhelmingly exhilarating. So too must your attack be.

Gorge yourself on your quarry, but don’t linger, because other predators lurk and so too do the vultures, ready to pick apart the carcass and anything else left there.

Ideally, hunters share, either by actively inviting, or by feeding enough, and walking away so others can get their share.

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123 Knowing that this type of hunting is dangerous and depends on inexplicable timing on your part – good hunters know when they have had enough and when to walk away.

It is usually when the vultures start circling that they signal everybody else that feeding is taking place.

Every workplace has vultures, and if you are not mindful of them and their prying eyes from up high and in the shadows, you will be caught feeding.

Walk away, and more likely than not, another less skilled predator will take your place. It’s much better that he gets caught feeding than you.

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124 At this point, I would like to once again raise the value of sowing seeds.

Whether it occurs because of the last throes of your office fling or the stink and decay that the office vultures trade in, sometimes your primary woman gets wind of your hunting.

For this reason, it is recommended that you plant seeds such as, “I think this woman from the office likes me”, followed by, “I think she might be a little cuckoo”, quickly followed by, “I just talked to her once and it seems like I see her everywhere I go.”

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125 You have implanted that she is first of all, interested in you, reinforced it with, she’s is kind of crazy, and finally sealed the deal with, she might be obsessed.

Before your primary starts to lose it and come down to the office to see and straighten out the bitch, you end the seed planting with “Thank goodness, she seems to have focused her crazy on Tim.”

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126 So whether the information comes your Primary’s way from vultures or a rotting carcass; you have ensured that in her mind she is a rotting troubled corpse.

The office, just like any other hunting ground has one more very significant issue; and that is rivalry.

Males have been, for millennia, competing for the attention and trappings of the female, and the workplace is not any different.

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127 The poor idiot who you let feed after you and who got caught by prying eyes, will be much more wary next time and will remember that you were partly responsible for his situation. Therefore, it is also important to sow the seeds that there is office rivalry.

Now you can’t admit to your primary that this is because of other women, so instead, you lay blame on office politics, a promotion and the perennial favourite – office sports.

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128 Women know how seriously men take sports and challenges to their manhood, so she will understand a guy who you have already established as an office rival, hinting or outright saying you are involved in office affairs.

The value of sowing seeds can not be more emphasized, so in our next guideline, I will be dealing with this issue and solving one that I know bothers some of you and to which I have already alluded to explaining.

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11. ALONE IN A TEAM He has found religion. He has been overwhelmed by an OW and left his wife.

He has had a near death experience and feels it is a cathartic moment which sees him professing his love for his primary and confessing all “our� nasty little secrets that we promised to take to the grave.

Whatever the motivation, the reality is that you must prepare to be alone on a team. For this reason, it is best that you sow the seeds of this failing lifelong relationship.

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130 After a real happy moment between you and your Primary, like after sex or some great news, in that quiet vulnerable moment that occurs between couples, confess a deep dark secret.

No, not that you idiot! Get that shit out of your mind – remember the first guideline.

Confess in a very sombre, almost pained tone, that you think the guys, your lifelong buddies, secretly have jealousy issues with you.

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131 She will be more likely to believe you for two reasons. The time that your have exposed your innermost feelings – that vulnerable couple moment, and two, all women secretly think all of their girlfriends are secretly jealous of them too.

This will be the tool that will keep her sane, if, heaven forbid, the attack comes from within and it is one of your loyal soldiers, comrade in arms, exposing your secrets.

Now, the detail and intensity of your buddy’s revelation will be hard for her to overcome, but, as in the first story, in the first guideline, even a one percent doubt is enough to see you through, as long as you maintain your innocence and never falter in your version of the stories.

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132 Besides, the more the detail and intensity expressed by your former buddy, the more it can be used by you to demonstrate your point, that it is something personal between the two of you.

It is also important that you do not reciprocate and tell his wife anything or for that matter, treat him with any animosity, as your calm could be seen as your confidence in the rightness of your position as well as, it leaves room open for reconciliation between you and your former buddy, which could culminate with him retracting all that he said, and confessing his deep, long held anger at you for some innocuous schoolyard slight that involved his first love.

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133 So even though we exist in the present, I can not stress enough, the importance of the past. But for our next guideline, we will be dealing with the future and the joys and challenges it brings.

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12. TECHNOLOGY The internet, emails, cell phones, texting, and networking sites such as Facebook have irrevocably changed the world of communication and it has gotten us closer and shrunk the former limitless expanse of the world.

The benefits for life as we know are immeasurable, and most can’t imagine a world without these tools, not even those that did not grow up with them.

Networking sites like Facebook and hook-up sites like Tagged have opened up a whole new world of opportunities for cheating.

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135 The ability to chat, share and explore each other in cyber space before hooking up has seen many a mediocre, not so good looking nerd, have a virtual feast, because for most, cyber is the preliminary step to real world incursions.

But like every other beneficial tool for mankind, it has its drawbacks.

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136 "Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail. You got to do this for me.

Huge. Quickly. Bye." The above quote came from Tiger Woods and it sunk him. Now you are no Tiger, but if he had followed this simple rule, he would not have seen as much trouble as he did.

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137 Buy a pay as you go phone. Buy a sim card. Let one of your hunting buddies buy a phone for you; pay some school kid to go buy a phone for you. Whatever you do, remember the golden rule is deniability. So the greater your ability to do such, the better your chance of implanting doubt.

Tiger did more than violate this rule; he beat it to a pulp, as if it was a fellow golfer on the pro circuit.

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138 NEVER, NEVER, leave your voice on anything. In the past, this rule would have been, never sign any cards and stuff. Reason being, it narrows the possibility of it being you from many – 1, to 1 – 1.

The greater your ability to say it was that guy’s phone or it’s not even in my name – the better your chance of living to fight another day.

This reminds me – a very good get out of jail card would be a card signed by one of your rivals at work addressed to your OW. This is in case of attacks from him, her, the vultures and even the angry spouse.

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139 An easy way to get this card would be to buy a card, present it for first signing to your rival, as a card for a fellow worker, who may be sick or having a birthday, and instead steal it away for future use – break in case of emergency.

Back to technology - Have separate email addresses for your activities, Use nome de plumes whenever you can and never leave personal information that can be used to identify you on emails and networking sites. The general rules – embrace technology but be careful to not let it trap you.

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140 There is one other technology that must be discussed, because it has made such a difference to the lives of so many men and it has put new life in old souls; that is, Viagra.

To be more precise, the active ingredient sildendafil nitrate. They now have competitors Cialis and Levitra. They all do the same thing - put lead back in your pencil and pep back in your step.

As an over the counter drug, Viagra and its competitors have seen phenomenal recreational sales amongst men who have not been diagnosed with erectile dysfunction, the original target group for the drug.

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141 The research of the effectiveness of Viagra for recreational use is debatable, to say the least, but the psychological impact can not be denied.

It is for this reason that I highly recommend such stimulants, once health concerns are adequately addressed and the information on the side effects are known.

It is particularly important to keep your primary woman happy and not let any thoughts of your creeping around outside, to infiltrate her mind. No matter how tired and sore you are after an evening of wild sex with your OW, you need to have at least one very effective bullet in the chamber to “prove� to your wife your innocence.

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142 At this time let me say something that I know would be bothering the thinking out there.

In a world of sexually transmitted diseases it is imperative that you use condoms. Your Primary should be the only and last woman that you have unprotected sex with.

I mention this in connection with Viagra use because many men don’t use condoms because of the soft-hard roller coaster ride that the early stages of erectile dysfunction creates.

For heaven’s sake, put aside your ego and make the right decision to use a stimulant and not risk catching something or worse yet carrying something back to your Primary.

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143 Just a note for those men championing the merits of all natural or for those women crying foul at our “cheating”.

Women wear push-up bras to make us believe they have bigger firmer breasts.

They wear make up to look younger. They wear high–heels to appear taller and to make their calves look sexier. They wear false hair, extensions, and most of them don’t know their natural colour hair.

Padded bra’s, padded panties, and girdles to make their tummies look smaller.

So allow us our one prop – pun intended.

So no matter what endeavour you attempt, it is best to understand your past, accept your present and embrace your future. It is the only way to truly advance.

Advance is a key word in our next guideline – Advanced Tactics.

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13. ADVANCED TACTICS. THE SMELL DEFENCE On average, a women’s sense of smell is better than a man’s. This is why your smelly feet annoy her so and why your farts are only funny to you. This is very important to understand, because that terrific sense of smell can be your undoing.

Evolution has given her this advantage, so she could weed out unhealthy and therefore unworthy suitors.

She smells your clothing; she smells your body so any “foreign” scents that you picked up along your journeys will be detected by her.

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145 For this reason, I advise that you use items with as neutral a scent as possible.

This means, no matter how much you are Jonesing to try that new scented cherry flavoured condom or have your OW rub you down with that batch of scented sensual oils she picked up at the local “exotica” shop, don’t do it! You will be like a scent beacon to your Primary, sending off the wrong signals.

This does not mean that you should not smell nice. Going home smelling like you were playing football the whole day would not work either, especially if you were at “work”.

To solve this dilemma, I recommend a tactic called duplication.

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146 DUPLICATION Simply put, this tactic is where you duplicate every cream, deodorant, powder and cologne that you use in the different places that you “visit”.

This means that you not only manage your scents, but you also smell nice. Be careful of spikes in scents by you overindulging in application. You can not go home after a long day at the “office” smelling like you just had a bath and splashed on your favourite cologne.

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147 It is a fine balancing act but one which is solely dependent on you.

The tactic of duplication works for all your mundane but necessary things as well.

T-shirts, underwear, vests, socks etc., should be duplicated as far as possible, so when you go to buy stuff, you buy in pairs or by the dozen, whichever bests suits your prowess.

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148 PISS VS PUSSY There is, however, one scent that can be undetectable to you, but your Primary is so attuned to it, that you must do everything in your control to properly manage. The smell of pussy – that intoxicating smell that got you hooked in the first place.

Humans just like other animals are guided by sex pheromones – that chemical signal that your OW emits, especially when she is in oestrous.

So what attracted you and what got you a great night of wild sex, could find its way home if you do not employ a simple, yet very effective tactic called Piss Vs Pussy.

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149 On your last pee before you reach home, you simply let some piss get caught in your hand and you rub your shaft, balls and pubic area with this piss. It is much better to come home smelling like piss than pussy.

A dash of beer on the front of your pants will not hurt your cause either. Now, overdoing the beer on the front of the pants tactic is not advised either, as with any other tactic, it must be strategically employed to ensure its effectiveness, otherwise your primary will become suspicious because she has become desensitized to your tactic.

This desensitization is at the heart of the next tactic – cry wolf.

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150 CRY WOLF Most of you will be familiar with the story, the boy who cried wolf.

Intent on tricking his fellow villagers, a little boy falsely cries wolf several times, before a real wolf shows up and when he cries, no one responds – thinking he was merely playing games by crying wolf again.

The boy gets eaten by the wolf and lesson learned – do not cry wolf.

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151 I see a different lesson here and it actually involves you setting up the circumstances for wolf to be cried.

No matter how trusting your Primary is of you, there are certain opportunities that are simply too irresistible for her to pass up. One such issue, and Tiger Woods can attest to this, is the lure of looking at your phone.

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152 This usually happens when you are not there or very occupied, like in the bathroom or shower. Your phone is on the counter, a text comes in and the urge to look at it is so overwhelming, that your trusting Primary turns into a CSI investigator and looks at your text.

“Last night was wonderful” it reads, and your usually calm wife, who would NEVER do something like look at your phone, suddenly decides to look at all your shit and discovers that it’s from a “guy named “Toni”.

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153 Losing all pretence, she confronts you as you step out of the shower, convinced that her being right about your cheating will nullify the fact that she violated the relationship’s trust, which the two of you have tried so hard to foster.

Like a cat with its hand caught in the cookie jar you look hapless.

This would only be so if you did not stage this entire event, knowing the well planed steps to be taken.

A look of shock on your face, you ask in the softest tone, “How could you do something like go thorough my phone. I thought this relationship was based on trust?”

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154 She brushes aside this shot, convinced that her being right trumps any violations of trust. As she is feeling all self righteous, with the evidence of your cheating firmly held in her hand, the phone vibrates as another text comes in. “Hey buddy, think I sent you a text meant for my girl, hope you don’t think I was trying any kind homo move on you, you damn fag. Lol!�

Shock on her face, she quickly regains her composure, convinced that Toni is still some code name for a girl, who has just sent a make-up text to cover her tracks.

Time for you to up the anti. So you move from calm to unstable in five seconds and grab the phone from her hands.

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155 More questions as to how she could violate your trust, mixed in with just the right amount of uncharacteristic expletives.

You quickly dial the phone and without being told you put it on speaker.

“I always knew you were a fag” you say as Toni, the guy with the very distinctive male voice, laughs his head off on the other side.

“Can you imagine what my wife would have thought if she read a text like that?”

More laughter from Toni and some shots back at you playfully questioning your sexuality.

“But she would never do me something as silly as that. She would never violate the trust we have by going through my phone” you say as you look her deep in the eye, as you try to tear up.

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156 You hang up the phone and in a very soft tone you shake your head and say. “I thought you were different�, then, you calmly walk away, get dressed and leave the house.

So whilst you have an open window of time to go play, stay out late, or even sleep an entire night out, she will be busy beating herself up for violating the trust that you built.

You come home, whenever you like, and for at least one day refuse to talk to her.

Be careful here, as too much time ignoring her could see her tip over.

So when she is just right, sit her down to talk. Tell her how disappointed you are in her, reinforce how disappointed she must also be in herself, and agree right there and then to not violate that trust ever again.

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157 She will heartily agree but as much as she agrees and however committed she will be to leaving your shit alone, the reality is that temptation might overwhelm her some time in the future again and as such, you will have to vary this cry wolf tactic by employing other items or circumstances.

Condoms, left in the car by a “nephew”, trinkets that belong to her or her family, panties etc.

Whatever the item, the cry wolf tactic involves three key elements, you getting “caught”, you planning and managing

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158 getting “caught� and you laying on the guilt trip thick with promises to not have her do it again.

There are many more tactics but they become more and more dependent on particular circumstances which bring to the table huge variables. For this reason I will end the tactical lesson here, but have no fear, read on and see to see how I deal with this.

As we come to the end of this booklet, I want to separately address the males and the females reading this publication. I will start with the men.

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14. A NOTE JUST FOR THE MALES For most of you reading this booklet, you will have a big grin on your face and you feel armed and ready to go do your cheat thing.

For a smaller group of you, the expression will be one of horror.

For the majority grinning from ear to ear I want you to go take a look at the title again and see why the smaller group is probably crying now.

That’s right. Now you get it. “A Man’s Guide to Good Cheating. What MOST Men Want to Know, But What ALL Women should know; is a book about you; not for you. So wipe that silly smile off your face.

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160 Not all men fall into this category as there is another group, even smaller than the horrified group but also wearing smiles on their faces, just like the not aware at all group.

This group is made up of the men who don’t cheat, for whatever reasons, and the serial cheaters, at the top of their game.

The both extremes on the spectrum of cheaters have the same feelings, but for different reasons; explained a little further in the text.

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15. A NOTE FOR FEMALES I could have put a red flag and wrote ‘Read me, read me!” a dozen times at the top and you all would not have been more interested in reading the “Special” note, just for men. I hope this made you smile, but I also hope you get why this book was REALLY written; to let you inside the secret world of guys.

I’ve heard it said - A guy wants to know what is the most extreme version of a woman? – Go read a Cosmo or watch Lifetime – Learn the secrets language and deepest thoughts of women.

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162 So too here I have given you an insider’s look at the most extreme version of men and their deepest darkest thoughts – Be guided by such.

So let me apologize for the often crass and seemingly demeaning manner I sometimes employed in getting across my points. It was not meant to do harm, or as some misogynistic thrill ride leapt on by me but merely as an open honest look at the worst that we can produce. Dah!

Hooray of hooray’s, I hope and suspect that you are coming to the realization, that you have gotten an inside look, at the complexity of a very serious issue that is very pivotal for you, and this has put a very big smile on your face. This was my intention.

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163 But as with all good news, I have to share a little caveat to the preceding revelations made, that will probably temper your joy and explain why I said in the special note to men that there was a very small group of men that will continue to have smiles on their faces.

The first group still smiling is the non cheaters. Yes ladies, there are men out there that don’t or won’t cheat. Trust me on that.

And the revelations in the book not only does not affect them, since it does not apply to them, but some might also see it as cheaters getting their just deserves. For years they have been mocked and chastised for their loyalty. Pay back is indeed a bitch.

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164 The second group continues to smile because of one simple fact. This book will separate the sheep from the goats, clearing the field for more incursions by them. They thrive on challenges and see this as a way to test their skill levels. Men are so competitive – but you know this already.

So the reality is, just like the US army does when it releases technology, formerly secret, it has in development superior products and tactics that will ensure they maintain their dominance in the field of battle. So too has the elite cheater.

But fear not ladies, all is not lost. For personalized, one on one advice you can email me at dearpnokio@gmail.com. I promise to deliver the truth in a no nonsense way; as long as you can handle it.

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165 I say that, because the reality is that many of you out there reading this booklet will continue to fall victim to the machinations of a deluded, often pitiful mind. “Maybe my role is to make him a better person by seeing how badly he treats me�. Said by a woman after receiving a terrible beating at the hands of her boyfriend, to justify and continue an abusive relationship.

One of the saddest things I have ever heard, but a clear example, that no matter how we try, there are some that can not be reached.

For the rest of you, I hope I have been of service.

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16. WRITER’S NOTE I AM A WRITER. Let me repeat. I AM A WRITER. And yes Christopher P. Nokio is nome de plume. Pinocchio – the story teller who grows with each story told – get it?

I stress this because some of you can not divorce, (pun intended), a writer and their subject material. So if you feel the need to heap scorn on me, for what I have written and pass judgement on me as an individual by asking me, and or insisting that I have to be a serial cheater in order to have written about it, let me share this.

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167 Thomas Harris, the guy who wrote Silence of the Lambs, was not to my knowledge a serial killer, like his character Hannibal Lecter in the book.

If this were so for all writers, then Stephen King would be an alien, monster, clown, killing children for fun and JK Rowling would be the dumbest wizard imaginable – I kid Ms. Rowling.

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168 Now, I am not by any stretch of the imagination, making comparisons of myself to these great writers based on skill and accomplishments, but merely pointing out the consistency of my position that I am a writer writing on a topic and I should not be held to a different standard based on the topic I chose to write on.

Put simply, please do not ask me any silly questions about my role in this topic, as you are likely to hear more of my colourful language.

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169 I wrote this handbook in what I believe to be an honest, open look at an age old topic that most have looked at from a moral positioning that has always sought to look at the causes of such.

I chose to deal with the issue as it presents itself, without passing judgement or condoning behaviour detailed.

I stand firm in my belief that art is reflective and not instructive. And that, in order to move ahead on any topic, it is

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170 necessary to expose its underbelly, no matter how uncomfortable it makes us, rather than scratching its surface.

It is my ultimate hope that this publication, along with the dearpnokio@gmail.com email address, will serve to foster open and honest debate on the issue of relationships. Historically, it has been the only way to effectively deal with any issue.

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THE SCIENCE BEHIND CHEATING At birth, a female human has about 300,000 eggs, which age with her body and begin to be expelled every month when she hits puberty until, by menopause, all the eggs are gone or non-viable. At puberty, a male human being starts producing millions of sperm every day. He can continue to do this until well into old age, or even till death.

And that’s why men cheat more than women.

Evolution has programmed human beings (and every other organism on Earth) to propagate their genes. Because women have a limited number of eggs in their

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172 lifetime, and because men have a virtually unlimited number of sperm, each sex has evolved different strategies to maximize their reproductive fitness. For women, that means choosing a man who is both physically fit and psychologically committed enough to expend resources to provide and protect his offspring. For men, though, the most effective reproductive strategy is to put their sperms in as many women as possible.

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173 We pause now for some important caveats: 1. Evolution influences our inclinations, but it doesn’t dictate our choices.

2. Human beings don’t have sex to have children all the time. Most of the time, we have sex because sex is so fucking good (and you will never come across a statement more “literally true” than that).

3. These strategies evolved in a prehistoric environment, when there wasn’t condoms, the pill, or even porn (except for those sexy rock carvings with the huge boobs and butts – forget that crap about “fertility symbols” – primitive man probably used to get nagged by his woman, too, for looking too much at those figurines).

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174 4. Humans are among the mere 4 percent of mammals who have exclusive sexual relationships.

So, in the ancestral history of every person now alive, there were men who sowed their seed in as many fields as they could, and women who chose men who, even if they did that, still provided and protected their children.

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175 But we also know from evolution that our ancestral mothers did their fair share of cheating, too. If they hadn’t, human males and females wouldn’t be so close in size because, in any species where the males have exclusive mating rights to several females (as with seals and gorillas) the males are always much larger than the females. So human females cheated where such a strategy meant more resources plus good genes for their offspring (hence the modern-day stereotype of the rich housewife having hot sex with the pool boy). Weird fact: girls in polygamous societies are shorter than girls in monogamous ones.

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176 Of course, it’s hard to know exactly how much people cheat. Some surveys from the United States say that just over 22 percent of married men admit to having cheated at least once, and just about 14 percent of married women. One data set from Britain found that 30 percent of women had cheated on their spouses, and the data was solid because it was based on DNA tests of their children, which showed that the men were raising offspring they hadn’t fathered.

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177 The interesting part was that the highest ratio of outside paternity was among the working-class women – 30 percent – but just one percent among upperclass women. This doesn’t mean that rich women horn less, just that they’re smarter about getting knocked up. In the US, estimates went up to 20 percent, but Americans probably do less DNA tests.

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178 Even so, it is likely that women of lower status in a society are more likely to have more sexual partners or to cheat. The opposite is true of men. The higher a man’s status – the more money or fame he has –the more likely he is to cheat, simply because he has more women coming on to him. Or, if we centre the matter around the man, men with higher testosterone levels are more likely to cheat. Since you can’t measure that, however, women should be aware that good-looking men are more likely to be unfaithful.

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179 Of those men who don’t cheat, it’s not necessarily because they’re inherently more faithful or more in love – if you’ve learned one thing from this book, it’s that love and cheating aren’t necessarily connected. Faithful men simply don’t have the opportunities or they think the consequences wouldn’t be worth the trouble. This is mostly the case in societies which have high rates of equality, though.

In cultures with large gaps between the haves and have-nots, polygamy and infidelity is higher, because a lot of women prefer even 10 percent of a rich or goodlooking man than 100 percent of a poor ugly one.

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Recommended readings Why Beautiful People have More Daughters. Alan Miller and Satosh Kanazawa. New York: Perigee Books, 2007.

Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes? Jene Pincott. New York : Bantam Dell, 2008.

How the Mind Works. Steven Pinker. New York: W.W. Norton & Co., 1997.

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