5 minute read
To Him We Shall Return: Reflections on Death and Loss
Who will remember us after we are gone?
Who will continue our deeds for us?
These were the questions I had heard my grandmother ask for years before she passed away. While she wasn’t necessarily looking for immediate answers, I always wondered about them myself. There was a point when I thought about it constantly… death, what follows, and how I, as a Muslim, would handle it. Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that it wasn’t something I needed to worry about just yet. I was wrong.
I grew up being told to live as if each breath were my last. Anything could happen and my soul could be taken at any moment. I knew this, yet I was still unable to truly understand it until I experienced loss for the first time.
When I was 11 years old, I lost a friend in a car accident. That was the first time I had ever experienced true grief. Despite being a child, losing someone taught me that death does not wait for you to grow old and live out your life.
When I was 13, my grandfather passed away due to cancer. This time, I knew that he was sick, and I knew what was to come. A week before he passed away, his heart failed, but he was miraculously revived. When he passed away the following week and his Janazah was held, it somehow felt too soon. At that moment, I realized that no matter how many times one returns from being a breath away from death, they still must go.
Now I am 18. I’ve lost two very important people in just the past year. On the third day of Eid, I woke up to the news that my uncle had passed away. This was when I truly learned that death comes when it is willed by Allah ﷻ.
Four months later, my grandmother fell ill. I was very close to her as she had been a major part of my childhood. She was sweet, full of laughter, and had an inspiring and unwavering faith in God. It was so strong that she was sure she would get better in no time. This taught me that death will approach regardless of our spiritual condition.
While all of these lessons have become part of my understanding of death, there is one major aspect that I believe is the most comforting of all. I hadn’t realized that the pain I was experiencing could be healed by simply reflecting upon my religion a bit more. With this, I not only better understood death, but I developed a clearer understanding of grief and the afterlife.
A concept that I quickly learned to implement in my life was Tawakkul, to have full faith and trust in Allah ﷻ.“It may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know” (Qur’an 2:216). This is an idea that can be difficult to comprehend, but one that has the power to provide ease and comfort to even the heaviest of hearts. Verses such as these are often unintentionally neglected. As a matter of fact, it feels as though they become hidden when we are most vulnerable. Our grief can be so impactful on our hearts and minds that it becomes blinding. For Muslims, the blessings and teachings in the Qur’an and corpus of Hadith are unmatched as long as we learn to utilize them and implement them in our lives.
In a hadith narrated by Mus’ab bin Sa’d, his father, Sa’d bin Abi Waqqas, had asked the Prophet ﷺ which people would be tested the most severely. The Prophet Ss.Aa.Ww replied, “If he is steadfast in his religious commitment, he will be tested more severely, and if he is frail in his religious commitment, his test will be according to his commitment.” I was struck by a sudden realization upon reading this hadith. I began to understand that death is inevitable, but when we experience loss, we understand the strength of our Iman and the strength of our love.
However, it’s important to remember that as Muslims, such feelings are not exclusive to individuals of the Ummah. Having lost such close loved ones, I began to feel isolated and alone. Once I began to reflect upon the life of the Prophet ﷺ, I remembered the year in which he lost both his uncle and his wife. He faced extremely painful hardships, such that he recognized a period of time known as “The Year of Sorrow.” The Prophet’s ﷺ wife and uncle had provided him with support when he needed it most, and now they were gone. We often find it difficult to humanize the Prophet ﷺ and assume that he did not experience what we do in our “normal” lives. Knowing that some of my emotions were familiar to his, ﷺ, provided me strength as I continued to cope with the loss of so many loved ones.
In addition to understanding the occurrence of loss and adversity as the first step in coming to terms with our emotions, understanding the afterlife gives us comforting knowledge on where our loved ones may be. Through heavy research of well-known scholars, we are given detailed outlines of what happens to souls after death (though ultimately, Allah ﷻ knows best).
Of the information provided, I found it all to be very comforting and encouraging. For instance, the righteous souls being able to have their graves expanded or the fact that they are able to see heaven as they wait. The most comforting bit of information was knowing that the righteous would be gathered together in the realm of souls known as Barzakh. Many souls will spend their time together with those who were present throughout their lives as well. After losing my loved ones and becoming aware of the existence of this realm, I felt at peace knowing that there is a chance they are together. I may not be with them now, but they aren’t necessarily alone. When our souls visit Barzakh in our sleep and we see our loved ones in a positive manner, we can find comfort in knowing that they are, in fact, doing well. They truly wish to inform us that they are at peace and that Allah ﷻ is taking care of them.
So, do not fear death, as it is only the beginning. Find comfort in what Islam offers us. The lessons that we learn through the pursuit of knowledge helps us grow as Muslims and members of society. When we lose loved ones, it is our duty to continue their deeds so that they may enjoy the fruits of the afterlife, and so that we may one day be reunited with them, God willing. Islam does not call for us to neglect those who have left us. It calls for us to remember them in ways that transcend our world in order to reach them in the next.
