May 2010 by Belva Greenage

MAY 2010

VOL 14 NO 1

WOMAN Ann Lindsay and Angela Hilst Mothers & Daughters In Each Otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Business

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T w m f s w p e o n t

CMY

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Give Mom a Baby Face for Mother’s Day.

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Where Charlotte finds its style.

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Historic South End 704.523.4480

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Northlake -Perimeter Parkway 704.596.9507

Join us on facebook.com/offbroadwayshoesinc and on twitter.com/OBSW

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Contents May 2010

D e p a r t m e n t s

12 From The Publisher A Salute To Woman

14 Girl Time Tips, Trends, And Fancies

18 Queen City Jewels Happenings You Don’t Want To Miss

22 Money Talks

Be Prudent With Family Lending

72 Health Matters

Spring Clean Your Computer

74 Health Flash What You Need To Know To Stay Well

Blue By You

82 Tomorrow’s Charlotte Woman Charlotte’s Future Fabulous Females

62 Fashion

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Please Pass The Salt & Pepper Your Grandma Told You To Do What To That Wart?

25 Work Notes

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Dressing Your Tresses

70 At Home

Charlotte Women Making Strides

24 On The Move

68 Beauty

C h a r l o tt e

W o m a n

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Why live with bladder leakage?

Live with confidence. Get immediate relief — no surgery, no drugs, no pads. Up to 30% of women experience unexpected urine loss. Now there’s FemSoft, a simple, effective solution that puts you back in control instantly, so you can do what you love − without worrying about bladder leakage.

FemSoft has coverage from Medicare and a growing number of insurance plans. Call 1-800-FEMSOFT (1-800-336-7638) or visit www.tryfemsoft.com.

Co-pays, deductibles, and conditions apply. CAUTION: Rx only. USA (Federal) law restricts this device to sale by or on the order of a physician trained in the management of urinary incontinence. INDICATION: The FemSoft Insert is indicated for the management of stress urinary incontinence in adult females. CONTRAINDICATIONS: Not for use in women with bladder or other urinary tract infection (UTI), urethral stricture, bladder augmentation, pelvic radiation, or conditions where urethral catheterization is not clinically advisable, immunocompromised, at significant risk from UTI, interstitial cystitis, pyelonephritis, history of severely compromised urinary mucosa, unable to tolerate antibiotic treatment, on anticoagulants, overflow incontinence or neurogenic bladder. WARNINGS/ PRECAUTIONS: Patient education and monitoring by a qualified professional is required for safe use. History of frequent UTI may increase risk of UTI. Continuous 24-hour use increases the risk of complications. Replace every 6 hours to reduce UTI risk. Discontinue for urinary, vaginal, venereal infection; hematuria; bleeding; abrasion, irritation of the bladder, urethra, urethral meatus. Mental impairment may reduce ability to use safely. Safety and efficacy have not been evaluated in pregnant women. Use of improper size could result in migration or discomfort. Do not use during sexual intercourse. ADVERSE EVENTS, COMPLICATIONS, AND RISKS: The following adverse events have been reported with the use of the device: Bacteriuria, symptomatic UTI, urinary symptoms (including urgency, frequency, and nocturia), asymptomatic UTI, insertion trauma, bladder/urethral trauma/irritation, hematuria, spotting, vaginal yeast infection, device failure, bladder spasm, back pain, migration, pyelonephritis (possibly related to pre-existing renal stones). © 2010 Rochester Medical Corporation, Stewartville, MN

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26 Volume XIV, Number 1 May 2010

PUBLISHER

Belva Greenage ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER

Fern Howerin Editor

Michelle Young Hubacher Assistant Editor

Karsen Price AR T DIRECTor

Anita O’Hara SENIOR GR APHIC DESIGNER

Cara Gracie Sales Dir ector

Kristen Dibble Sales Executive

Barbara Herd Business Manager

Nikki Wilson WEb Designer

CONTR IBUTING WR ITER S

Jennifer Bradford-Epstein Michaela Duckett Fiona Harmon Melinda Johnston Hannah Miller Debra Moffitt-Leslie Karsen Price Lee Rhodes

pROFILEs

26 Dynamic Duos Three Mother-Daughter Teams Doing Good Business

36 Get To Know The Bard

40 Turning Strife Into Strength Susan Andersen Helps Women Find The Answer

44 BusinessWoman Of The Year Cathy Bessant, Global T&O Exec With Bank Of America , No, dear reader, you are not experiencing déja vu!

Due to a typography error in last month’s profile of Cathy Bessant, we chose to run the article again.

FEATUREs

46 Mothering Across Continents

Contr ibuting Editor

Leigh Barrett

Elise Wilkinson Brings The Fun Of Shakespeare To Charlotte

Cliff McNamara

CONTR IBUTING PHOTOGR APHER S

52 Comments On Commencement Announcing Graduation With Style

54 Military Moms Mothers Whose Families Are Protecting Our Country

60 Senior Trip Travel Deals In The Golden Years

OnTheCover

Augusto Photography James Brown Brad Forth Scott Stiles 5200 Park Road, Suite 111 Charlotte, NC 28209 704/521-6872 www.todayscharlottewoman.com Today’s Charlotte Woman is published by Today’s Woman Inc., and is distributed on a complimentary basis throughout the greater Charlotte area. Subscription rate is $20 per year for 11 issues plus the TCW R esource Guide. Copyright ©2010 Today’s Woman, Inc. All rights reserved. Copying or reproduction, in part or in whole, is strictly prohibited. Today’s Charlotte Woman and Today’s Woman Inc. do not necessarily endorse the views and perceptions of contributors or advertisers.

Ann Lindsay and angela hilst, Mama ann’s Down Home desser ts. Photo by augusto photogr aphy.

It Takes A Mom To Make A Difference

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Visit Us On FaceBOOK!

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todayscharlottewoman.com In The Kitchen

Gardening

L et’s Dish About Mom

Tomato, To-mah-to

Enjoy O ur First-Ever Virtual Cookbook It’s not surprising to learn that the

Which O ne Is Best For Y our Garden? With store-bought tomatoes nearly devoid of flavor, growing your own is the best way to truly savor the taste of a ripe, red, juicy tomato. But with thousands of varieties available — from cherished heirloom types to the hottest new hybrids — how do you know which tomato is right for your garden? Visit our Web site for tips from Kathy Bond-Borie, the horticultural editor for the National Gardening Association.

tradition of honoring our mothers is due, in large part, to a woman — Anna Jarvis, whose efforts helped the day become recognized nationally in the United States in 1914. (Ironically, another woman, Sonora Louise Smart, is responsible for Father’s Day. Come to think of it, this isn’t all that ironic, after all.) To honor mom, we have collected a sampling of delicious family recipes from Charlotte women, and compiled them into our first-ever virtual cookbook. Check out our collec-

Q&A

Snapshots Each month, TCW profiles amazing women from around the Charlotte region in our Web-exclusive Q&A, Snapshots. Meet Kym Gordon Moore, a local author selected as one of the contributors to the 2010 Chicken Soup for the Soul series, “Thanks Mom.” Learn more about this award-winning poet and transformational speaker on our Web site.

tion of Mom’s best-ever

dishes, from cocktails. Consider making ful Cookies, Suegenia’s Hot Fruit Compote, or Potica! Visit todayscharlottewoman.com and start cooking.

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Salty Superstitions In this month’s print issue, we share a small part of the unique collection of salt and pepper shakers owned by one Charlotte couple. Who knew there were so many old wives’ tales regarding this tabletop staple? Visit the Web site for a few of these legends, including the notion that salty soup is a sign that the cook is in love.

Social media outlets enhance relationships, make information gathering easier, and keep us in the loop with just a click. Want to be in the loop with us? Find Today’s Charlotte Woman on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter.

a batch of Loving Spoon-

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Shake It Up, Pour It On

Get Connected

appetizers to desserts to

Homefront

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FromThePublisher

A Salute To Woman Join us in commemorating the 13th anniversary of Today’s Charlotte Woman, as we salute WOMAN in all of her glorious forms!

omen are such marvelous beings — gentle and lovely, yet courageous and strong. We are Cinderella and Hercules, rolled into one. Our lives encompass many roles: sister, daughter, wife, teacher, executive, counselor, friend, and, of course, mother. This month, we celebrate Mother’s Day with a special tribute to some extraordinary local moms. On page 40 of this issue, we profile Susan Andersen, who channeled the grief and pain of divorce into creating a foundation that provides scholarships to single mothers — those invincible multi-taskers who are bringing up children while pursuing college degrees. Andersen is a prime example of the woman described above. She earned a college degree; she worked in the corporate world; she started and grew her own successful business; she maintained a household and raised two children. Along the way, she learned not to give up, but to give back … and turned tragedy into triumph for herself and for others. We also showcase, on page 26, three Charlotte-area mother-daughter teams who continue to reap the rewards of what are truly labors of love in opening and running their own businesses: a retail boutique, ballet schools, and a “made-from-scratch” bakery. Each duo has its unique approach to the market, but underlying all of their stories is a strong connection between mother and daughter

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intently focused on passion and success … and great respect. This year on May 9, while many of us anticipate calls from our children across town or across the country, another group of mothers will be hoping for calls from war-torn Afghanistan or Iraq and other faraway military bases, where their sons or daughters have answered the call to duty. Both Bonnie Hoagland’s and Tammi Kimbrell’s stories are ones of sacrifice and worry and prayer for their husbands and sons. They also beautifully illustrate the effectiveness (and power) of support from the S.C. National Guard Family Readiness Group, which provides fellowship, understanding, resources, and education for women and men whose loved ones are deployed overseas. Don’t miss this inspiring picture of devotion and strength, beginning on page 54. In addition to the fascinating stories about the wonderful women we’ve spotlighted in this issue of TCW, you’ll notice a big change on the magazine’s cover. We are dedicated to celebrating the area’s women, and we aim to emphasize just how important you are. With that in mind, we designed our new logo and cover look to reflect our focus on you as WOMAN … in all your splendor! With love to every woman,

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GirlTime t i p s ,

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a n d

f a n c i e s

C OMPILED BY MIC HELLE YOUN G HUBAC HER

Here Comes The Sun … And N ews For Grandma

lthough your own fingers might be calloused from texting, Twittering, and e-mailing friends and family, there are some people, particularly those in their golden years, who do not communicate via the Internet. A company called Sunnygram has tried to open up the Web for them with a program that allows you to assign an e-mail address to a non-e-mailer. Friends and family then send updates, news, and photos to the address, where Sunnygram compiles the messages into a colorful, easy-to-read newsletter format which is then printed and mailed (through the U.S. Postal Service) to your loved one. The newsletter is customized for each recipient, with special designs for birthdays and holidays, and Grandma can respond by prepaid letter or through a toll-free phone system. With Sunnygram, families can share pictures and “cc” grandparents on e-mail messages sent to the rest of the family. A one-time Sunnygram is $12.99; a six-month subscription is $64.99; and a 12-month subscription is $129.99. Visit sunnygram.com to view a sample.

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We Moved!

Fundraising Is Tops One Lake Norman Mom’s Mission To Help

f you have a tween, you’re probably tuned in to the bottle cap jewelry trend — necklaces and bracelets created using dolled-up bottle caps. (And if you have a brother, you may remember pilfering the best caps from his collection when you were little … the Nehi grape soda caps were always the most collectible.) Now, Elise Redmond, founder of Lake Norman-based Cookies For A Cause, has added Hot Tops! as a fun fundraising item to the cache of goodies her organization offers to help charities and other nonprofits raise money for a wide variety of causes. “We customize our Hot Tops! bottle caps with any logo or design and help organizations sell them

to their participants and patrons,” Redmond says. “Everything we do is in memory of my best friend, Kristi Crates, who passed away due to lymphoma on Oct. 29, 2007, at the early age of 35.” The group is working with a host of area organizations, including the new Ronald McDonald House of Charlotte, Children’s Miracle Network, Carolinas Healthcare System, Put On The Brakes, Charlotte Smarty Pants, Longcreek Elementary School, Pine Lake Preparatory School, and various other organizations in the Charlotte area and nationwide. Visit cookies4acause.com for information on how your organization can raise funds through the sale of Hot Tops! >

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Warm Response

Author Invites Readers To Knit Away Best-selling writer Debbie Macomber, author of the popular “Hannah’s List” series, is reaching out to fans of her books to encourage participation in KNIT1, BLESS2, a Mother’s Day initiative benefiting three national charities that provide handmade garments and blankets to infants and children in need. Macomber, an admitted “knit-o-holic,” invites each of her readers to commemorate the holiday by sending in one hand-knitted or hand-crocheted item that can be donated to Newborns in Need, Project Linus, or The Binky Patrol. Items may be submitted through May 31, 2010. Visit knit1bless2.com for details.

Classic : Vintage : Bohemian : Sophisticated Whatever your style, let us create a design that is uniquely you! Monday - Friday, 10 am - 6 pm Saturdays 10am - 5pm 1801 Mecklenburg Avenue ~ Charlotte 704.207.6629 ~ unique-charlotte.com M A Y

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GirlTime

A Kindness Boom For The L ove Of Mom

o your mom proud this Mother’s Day by showing her you really were listening when she told you to be kind. Boom Boom! Cards™ has come up with a unique way to celebrate your mother and spend time with her this Mother’s Day through its uplifting intentional acts of kindness kit. The kit includes a deck of 26 cards describing philanthropic acts for you to pay forward. Each card is designed to make its way from you to your mom to another, and another, and so on. Every Boom Boom! Card has a registration number so you and the next person (and each person after that) can follow the adventures of the card online. “Mothers value any opportunity to bond with their families, and time together performing altruistic deeds is a great facilitator of that,” says Mary Beth Campbell, CEO of

The Boom Boom! Revolution™. “Each card gives family members a specific activity to do, creating an opportunity to be with each other. I think families will find themselves

starting a tradition on Mother’s Day this year by performing some of these altruistic deeds together with Mom.” Visit boomboomcards.com for details.

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80-minute Citrus Sugar Buff & Facial

Be Two-gether

75-minute Swedish Massage Duet Each package includes lunch, 15% service charge and is complete with access to the mineral pools, whirlpools, saunas, steam rooms and lounges. All Mother’s Day packages must be used prior to August 31, 2010. Beginning September 1st, the gift card can only be used as a cash value towards available services and packages. No substitution of services or additional discounts permitted please. All services and areas of the facility have certain age requirements. Please inquire if a guest is under the age of 18 for specific provisions.

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T o d a y ’ s

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Call for Additional Information!

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C h a r l o tt e

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Hosted by Joey Popp

Live Call-In Sundays at 6pm Repeats Saturdays at 9am Pain ManageMent and sPinal Cord stiMulation May 2, 2010, May 8, 2010 southeast Pain Care Tameta Clark, MD Jon-David Hoppenfeld, MD Vision CorreCtion - getting rid of ContaCts, glasses, and bifoCals May 9, 2010, May 15, 2010 Christenbury eye Center Jonathan D. Christenbury, MD, FACS ChroniC loW baCk Pain Past, Present & future May 16, 2010, May 22, 2010 orthoCarolina Ronald M. VanDerNoord, MD

the CritiCal link betWeen Vision and learning May 23, 2010, May 29, 2010 all ages Vision Care learning–related Vision specialists Genia G. Beasley, OD, FAAO, FCOVD PelViC organ ProlaPse and urinarY inContinenCe* May 30, 2010, June 7, 2010 Megremis gynecology and Pelvic surgery Tommy Megremis, MD grant Provider: american Medical systems

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W o m a n

4/21/10 1:37 PM

My Mother, My Friend Just Not At The Same Time

e all have that one friend whose relationship with her mom hinges on daily phone calls and a need for constant support and interaction that seems really intense. (Me, I have a healthy relationship with my mom — we share the perfect balance of respect and annoyance with one another.) These extremely close mothers and daughters defer to each other on all decisions, whether it’s what shampoo to purchase or what dress to wear on a date. Too Close For Comfort? Questioning the Intimacy of Today’s New Mother-Daughter Relationships (Berkley Trade Paperback Original, 2009), reveals the sometimes-difficult consequences of these tight relationships. Combining a sociological analysis with anecdotes from their professional backgrounds and participants of focus groups, authors Linda Perlman Gordon and Susan Morris Shaffer present a compelling argument that mothers and daughters cannot maintain a healthy relationship and still be “best friends.” The authors say confusing the two roles can be detrimental to the growth of the daughter, as well as the mother, and can lead to unhealthy behavior patterns that get passed down through generations. Too Close For Comfort? dissects these mother-daughterfriend relationships, which the authors say occur most frequently between women in

no more missing ingredients! their late 20s to 30s and their baby-boomer moms. Times have changed since the 1950s, when a woman typically married after high school or college, with no period of independence to create a life and career for herself. Today, however, there is often a prolonged gap between college and starting a family. Gordon and Shaffer point out that the prolonged adolescence that results from this gap leads to adulthood at a later age, hindering the emotional maturity of both mother and daughter, at very different parts of their lives. The book strives to help strengthen and establish healthy relationships between mother and daughter by providing proven strategies for growing a bond that allows both to have happy and successful lives as individuals. Visit parentingroadmaps.com for information. TCW

incredible selections Unbelievable prices

4300 North Tryon St. Charlotte, NC 28213 704-596-3495 818 E. Arrowood Road Charlotte, NC 28217 704-716-1170 3112 Milton Road Charlotte, NC 28215 704-716-1009 5610 Independence Blvd. Charlotte, NC 28212 704-716-1280 2557 West Franklin Ave. Gastonia, NC 28052 704-861-2966 1807 Cherry Road Rock Hill,SC 29732 803-328-3194

M A Y

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Q u e e n H a p p e n i n g s

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J e w e l s W a n t

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Make Wishes Come True Charity Is In The Bag

ples, coupons, key chains) to be included in goody bags for attendees. • Donate your gently used handbags (retail value of $100 and up). • Purchase an individual ticket to attend the event.

WantToGo? For information, contact Lisa Moseley at 704/3390334, ext. 226, or via e-mail at lmoseley@ncwish.org.

photos Courtesy of Charlotte Quilters’ Guild

reat yourself and help others at the same time by attending the fifth annual Bag Ladies Luncheon June 4, 10 a.m. to 1 p.m., at The Westin Charlotte. Hosted by the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Central and Western North Carolina, the uptown champagne luncheon includes a silent auction of over 200 new and gently used designer handbags and accessories, and annually draws 300 women from Charlotte and the surrounding area. Here’s how you can help: • Encourage your company or friends to buy a sponsorship package. • Contribute items (such as cosmetic sam-

Passion For Patchwork 2010 N orth Carolina Quilt Symposium

or quilt enthusiasts, “Nothing Could Be Finer” than the upcoming North Carolina Quilt Symposium June 3 through 6, at Johnson & Wales University. The Symposium, hosted annually by the Charlotte Quilters’ Guild, offers three days of workshops and lectures presented by over 20 prominent quilting professionals from across the United States. Several additional activities will be open to the public, including a quilt show and merchant mall at Greater Mount Moriah Primitive

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Baptist Church, located at 727 W. Fourth St., across the street from the University. More than 150 quilts will be displayed, and 18 local and regional merchants will offer their latest creations, plus other quilting items, for sale.

WantToGo? Admission to the show and mall is $5 per person ($3 for age 70 and up, and free for children under 5). Visit charlottequiltersguild.org for information.

Having A R uff Day? Pamper Yourself And Your Best Friend T he 2010 Charlotte Pet Expo on Sat., May 8, at the Cabarrus Arena and Events Center, should be a woofing, chirping, meowing good time for the whole family. From 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., pets can receive “spa treatments” from local groomers, sample treats, and try on the latest in pet fashions, while humans can interact with top trainers and animal welfare organizations. T here will be agility courses, pet talent and costume shows, and a pet/owner lookalike contest. T he Charlotte Pet Expo is committed to raising visibility for struggling animal shelters and to helping stray animals find loving homes.

WantToGo? T he Cabarrus Arena and Events Center is located at 4751 Hwy. 49 N . in Concord. Admission to the Expo is free. For information, visit charlottepetexpo.com or call 888/6726088, ext. 107.

W o m a n

4/21/10 1:44 PM

FemmeFest Returns To NoDa Wonderful Women Perform For A Cause

eclare your girl power while enjoying national, regional, and local musical acts and visual artists at the third annual Charlotte FemmeFest Sat., May 22, from 5:30 p.m. to 1 a.m., in NoDa. Proceeds will benefit the Center of Hope Women & Children’s Shelter, the largest women and children’s homeless shelter in the Southeast. This year’s performing musi-

cians represent a wide variety of genres, from folk to hip hop, and include Jill Andrews, Amelia’s Mechanics, Mieka Pauley, Jocelyn Ellis & the Alpha Theory, and Natalie Royal. Host venues for the event include The Evening Muse, The Neighborhood Theater, Dolce Vita, Smelly Cat Coffeehouse, the Outdoor Stage at Salvador Deli, and the art galleries of the North Davidson Street Arts District.

WantToGo? Tickets are $15 in advance, and $20 the day of the show. For information, visit charlottefemmefest.org.

Do Come In On Tour With The Symphony Guild After a two-year hiatus, The Symphony Guild of Charlotte’s annual Designer House is back! Through May 9, this unique home tour, now in its 37th season, offers a look at a trio of luxury residences in the MetTerraces condo project at the Metropolitan, a new mixed-use complex at the old Charlottetown Mall/Midtown Square location. The condos are transformed by style-forward designers into three distinct lifestyle-appropriate homes and outdoor spaces: the Family (transitional design), the Empty-Nester (traditional), and the Young Professional (contemporary). Since the tour’s inception nearly four decades ago, proceeds from Designer House events have gone to support The Symphony Guild’s enrichment projects, the Charlotte Symphony Orchestra, and youth music education. Over the years, The Symphony Guild of Charlotte Inc. (formerly the Charlotte Symphony Women’s Association) and its popular Designer Houses have raised more than $4.5 million for the Charlotte Symphony. >

WantToGo? The 2010 Symphony Guild Designer House is located at 1225 Baxter St., at Kings Drive. Tickets are $15 at the door. Visit symphonyguildcharlotte.org or call 704/281-9343 for information.

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QueenCityJewels

The Wicked Truth

Walkin’ The Dog Join Pet Palooza In The Park

For The Little Bit Of Witch In All Of Us

The Humane Society of Charlotte’s annual fundraising walk, pet festival, and inaugural Kennelly 5K run is slated for Sat., May 15, from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. at Independence Park. The event’s rain date is June 5.

efore Dorothy began longing for home, two young girls met in the land of Oz. One had green skin, was smart, and misunderstood; the other was beautiful, ambitious, and popular. See how the pair become the Wicked Witch of the West and Glinda the Good in the popular box office hit, Wicked: The Untold Story of the Witches Of Oz. Part of the Duke Energy Broadway Lights Series, Wicked plays May 19 through June 13 at Ovens Auditorium.

Participate in the Kennelly 5K race or a onemile dog walk, and enjoy the entertainment, a vendor fair and Fido fashion show, a silent auction, and refreshments, all while helping to support homeless pets.

WantToGo? photo by Joan Marcus

WantToGo? Visit blumenthalcenter.org or call 704/372-1000 for information.

Independence Park is located at 300 Hawthorne Lane. The race begins at 8:30 a.m. Visit humanesocietyofcharlotte.org for information.

Make New Friends And Break Down A Few Barriers Would you like to learn how to connect beyond the color of your skin or your religious or cultural beliefs? Ask a Friday Friend for help. Sponsored by a grant from Crossroads Charlotte and launched in 2007, Friday Friends seeks to bridge the gap between races and cultures. Over the years, close to 1,000 people throughout Charlotte have committed to being lunch partners for six months — targeting the last Friday of the month — to get to know each other as people, not “categories.” Friday Friends will gather Thu., June 3, 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. at The Levine Museum of The New South to celebrate the breaking of boundaries, the correction of assumptions, and to inspire others to connect in our city. The program will help facilitate the creation of new Friday Friends connections and celebrate those relationships already built.

WantToGo? The Levine Museum of The New South is located at 200 E. Seventh St. Space at the Friday Friends Festival is limited. Attendees must RSVP in advance. Visit MecklMin.com for information.

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Put On Your Big Red Shoes Support Ronald McDonald House Of Charlotte

ead to The Atrium at 2 Wachovia uptown May 13 at 6 p.m., and enjoy a cocktail party, silent auction, and fashion show in support of the Ronald McDonald House of Charlotte. Since 1974, the Ronald McDonald House has been a home away from home for families of seriously ill children. The Ronald McDonald House of Charlotte, located in the 1600 block of East Morehead Street and scheduled to open early next year, will be the fifth such facility in North Carolina. Many of the runway fashions will be modeled by mothers who are currently using Ronald McDonald Houses while their

children receive specialty medical care in hospitals around the country. These “model moms” will share their experiences with participants during and after the show, through video, printed stories, and one-on-one conversations. TCW

WantToGo? Limited advance tickets are available through May 12 in three tiers: “Pumps,” $55 per person; “The Cocktail Party,” $250 for a party of four; and “Stilettos,” $85 per person, which includes VIP stage-front reserved seating and a VIP swag bag. To order tickets for the show, visit rmhgirlsnightout.eventbrite.com.

4/21/10 1:45 PM

Changing Faces

Announcing

Our 2010-2011 seAsON

A memoir by Marlo Chapman

Van Cliburn Foundation - Nobuyuki Tsujii Friday, October 15, 2010 Chanticleer Friday, November 5, 2010 Orpheus Chamber Orchestra Friday, March 18, 2011 Pictured: Front, Ishmeel & Nyhrie. Back, N’Mel, Jasmine, Marlo, & N’Tella

The Assads Friday, April 15, 2011

About Changing Faces: This brutally honest book shares the story of one woman’s journey through a dysfunctional upbringing, prostitution, drug addiction, theft and repeated jail time to learning to read and write at the age of 32, earning a GED, attending college and writing three books. The first in a series, Changing Faces, sets the stage for Chapman’s journey to finding God and forging a better life for herself and her six children.

All performances held at 8:00 p.m. HAltON tHeAter, Overcash Center, Central Piedmont Community College

seAsON TiCkeTs ON sAle MAy 3. For seating and pricing, please contact the CPCC Box office at 704-330-6534 or visit www.charlotteconcerts.org

To find a copy of

Changing Faces,

call 704.622.8259 To order by credit card, call Next Chapter Book Store at 252.633.5774

Meet author Marlo Chapman at her next book signing!

May 17, 2010 • 1pm - 6pm Unlimited Service Store • 5632 Farm Pond Ln. • Charlotte, NC 28212

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MoneyTalks

Brough t To Y ou By ...

All In

The Family B e

S ma r

A b o

L endin g

M o

ne y

There is no expiration date on being a parent. Even when your kids are adults, your natural inclination is to help. And, with the highest unemployment rate in more than a quarter of a century, plenty of people are turning to their parents and other family members for financial assistance. But, no matter how deep your love for your child, ask yourself whether you can truly afford to help financially. Here are some things to consider before giving or lending money to family members:

you, too, get into financial difficulty.

Your retirement trumps all. There are no loans for retirement. If you deplete your savings, how will you manage your expenses when you retire? Use a personal retirement number calculator, like the one found on bankofamerica.com, to see if you are on track, and whether you can indeed afford to use any savings to help out a child who’s having financial trouble. Don’t tap into your 401(k) or IRA. You want that money to keep growing tax-deferred for as long as possible.

Consider whether lending money will truly help. Even if you can afford to help, step back for a moment and assess why your child is in this situation. If she’s in trouble because of poor budgeting and spending habits, will your money solve the problem? Or will it simply reinforce and enable her irresponsible behavior? It may be that she would benefit more from your emotional support in helping her gain control of her finances. Helping her take a clear-eyed look at her spending habits is a good start.

Don’t touch your emergency fund. Another hard but necessary step is recognizing that your security takes priority over helping your child through a hard patch. Carefully evaluate the circumstances and the consequences before raiding your emergency fund. You need to make sure you always maintain a safety cushion for your own emergencies. It won’t help your child if

Set clear repayment terms for loans. If you decide to lend money to your child, create a simple written document that spells out the terms: what interest you will charge and when repayment begins. Make it part of your agreement that your child will use online bill payment to set up automatic payments directly to your checking account. The more you treat this as a

business transaction, with clear repayment requirements, the better off you all will be. Understand tax rules for gifts. If you wish to make your assistance an outright gift, you should be aware of the federal gift tax, which is the responsibility of the giver. In 2010, the limit for giftgiving without incurring tax consequences is $13,000 per person. So you and your spouse could each give your child $13,000 this year without triggering any gift tax issues. If your child is married, you and your spouse could also each give $13,000 to his/ her spouse, for a total tax-free transfer of $52,000 in 2010. The money will be tax-free to the recipient(s). Lending money to family members can be a sticky prospect. Looking at the situation objectively (to the extent you are able!) and approaching a loan with as much detailed expectation as possible will go a long way toward minimizing family friction.

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4/21/10 1:49 PM

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4/16/10 10:35 AM

O n W o m e n

m a k i n g

Job Changes/Promotions Carrie Gray was hired as career services advisor by The Art Institute of Charlotte, where she will work with students and graduates of the Institute’s graphic design, Web design, and interactive media programs. Erin Padgett has joined Lake Printing & Design, in Cornelius, as sales manager.

Janet Ervin has joined 24 Hours of Booty Inc. as marketing director. Pat Howard has joined First American Title of the Carolinas as commercial underwriter. Debra Eident, R.N., B.S.N., M.Div., was named director of Carolinas Medical Center – Steele Creek Healthcare Pavilion. The University of Phoenix has appointed Carey Fissel community relations representative.

New Business/Changes Marta and Ziggy Zelazko have opened ZYGMA European Groceries and Deli, a Polish food store, at 212 N. Polk St., Pineville.

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T o d a y ’ s

C h a r l o tt e

s t r i d e s

•

b u s i n e s s

s u c c e s s

Chicago-based Katten Muchin Rosenman LLP has relocated its Charlotte offices to 550 S. Tryon St., in the Duke Energy Center. The law firm will occupy the 28th and 29th floors of the Center, which is part of the Wells Fargo Cultural Campus. Premier Inc. healthcare alliance, a coalition of more than 2,200 U.S. not-for-profit hospitals and 63,000 other healthcare sites, has announced relocation of its corporate headquarters from San Diego to Charlotte, where it will occupy space in Ballantyne Corporate Park.

Awards And Installations

Carmen Crawley, R.N., was hired as director of nursing at BrightStar Healthcare, which provides nonmedical, personal in-home care services for infants through seniors.

v T h e M o v e

Marilyn Addison, certified aromatherapist and chief blending officer of Spiritual Blends, won a gold ADDY Award for logo and brand packaging from the American Advertising Federation. The winning logo was designed by 3pm Creative Group’s Kara Hollinger Bulla. Beadlush of Charlotte, owned by Lydia Stern, is among the six winners of BeadStyle magazine’s national Favorite Bead Store contest. Julie Haack, president of Donald Haack Diamonds & Fine Gems Ltd., was elected to serve on the board of directors of the Charlotte Steeplechase Association Inc., which produces the annual Queen’s Cup Steeplechase in Mineral Springs. Kathy Scott Rummage has joined Central Piedmont Community College as executive director of communications for the community relations and marketing services department, where she will oversee CPCC’s communications initiatives, including social media efforts.

s t o r i e s

The Urban League of Central Carolinas has named Astrid Chirinos, managing partner of Calor Energy, and Dr. Julianne Malveaux, president of Bennett College for Women, recipients of the 2010 Whitney M. Young Jr. Award for service and commitment to empowering their communities. Signature Wellness’ Dr. Deb Matthew was selected as an oral board examiner for the American Academy of Anti-Aging and Regenerative Medicine. Lisa Carlay, lead designer and project coordinator of Lake Norman-based International Kitchen & Bath, won a First Place Award For Kitchen Design in the $101,000 to $150,000 category of the N.C. State competition honoring design excellence by the National Association of Home Builders. Candy Geiler, of World Travel Mates, was appointed to the 2010 Leadership Council for Results! Travel. Sonda Frattini, managing partner of Park South Group, an individual financial consulting firm, was presented the 2009 Bronze GAMA Leadership Award for UNIFI Companies.

Se nd

your

ne ws

to:

On The Move editor@todayscharlottewoman.com

Today’s Charlotte Woman 5200 Park Road, Suite 111, Charlotte, NC 28209

W o m a n

4/21/10 1:50 PM

worknotes

Spring Clean Your Computer …

Boost Your Productivity

t’s that time of year … spring breezes and warmer days make you want to fling open doors and windows, tidy up the house, and get yourself organized. Dusting furniture, scrubbing floors and surfaces, and reorganizing the garage are what most people think of when spring cleaning. But what about your computer? It’s one of the most used items in the home and office, and many people don’t realize that spring cleaning your PC can be quick and easy — resulting in a faster-running machine and fewer crashes. Here is a quick list of ideas on how to spruce up your computer (when you’re through with the garage, that is): Dust And Clean Your PC A can of compressed air and lintfree antibacterial wipes will take care of most dust bunnies and germs your computer has collected over the last year. Organize That Inbox Unorganized e-mail not only takes up extra space, but manually sorting through every message can be tedious and time-consuming. If your inbox is out of control, an add-on like NEO Pro 4.1 from Caelo Software for Microsoft Outlook can be extremely valuable, as

it automatically catalogs and sorts your e-mails without manual upkeep. Free Up Disk Space Emptying your recycling bin and clearing your Internet cache by removing temporary files, history files, and cookies will free up space on your hard drive and improve your computer’s efficiency. “Defragging” (consolidating fragmented files and folders on your computer’s hard drive) also improves your system’s overall performance. Software options like CleanIT and CleanDisk can help; or you can do it manually. Run A Virus Scan Test your computer’s exposure to online security threats with a virus scan. A popular option is Norton Security Scan. And if you don’t have virus protection, get it now. Spring cleaning in general can be a daunting task, but cleaning up your computer doesn’t have to be. With a few easy fixes and the help of automated tools, you can significantly reduce PC clutter, save time, and boost overall productivity.

Source: Microsoft at Work (microsoft.com/atwork/maintenance/speed.aspx) and NeoPro/Caelo Software (caelo.com). TCW

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C h a r l o tt e

Brad Forth photo by

photo by augusto photography

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Dynamic Duos Mother-Daughter Pairs Lead Their Businesses With Love (And Sometimes A Tiny Bit Of Drama) By Mic h aela Du c kett

f there is truth to the maxim that starting and running a business is like birthing and raising a child, then Charlotte is home to a number of business partners who have taken this work ethic to the highest level — and quite literally. Companies that keep their businesses all in the family may not be that uncommon, but there

is something unique about mothers working alongside their daughters to achieve financial success. Whether they are working for love or profit — and in these cases, they’re working for both — three mother-daughter duos have experienced their share of the triumphs and challenges that come from doing business within the framework of one of the closest familial relationships.

A Little Retail Therapy When Laurie Lamb and her husband decided to relocate their family to Charlotte from Dallas, Texas, their oldest daughter absolutely hated the idea. According to Laurie, 17-year-old Callie, who was attending boarding school near Boston and did not believe in repeating the same outfit twice in one month, was “horrified” at the thought of moving. Nordstrom had not yet opened. Neiman Marcus wasn’t here. Charlotte didn’t have a Macy’s. For a teen with a passion for fashion, the city seemed to promise less-than-adequate shopping options. “Charlotte wasn’t offering cutting-edge fashion,” Laurie recalls. “The fashionable women in Charlotte were getting on an airplane and flying to New York or driving to Atlanta to do their shopping.” Callie went on to attend Southern Meth-

odist University in Dallas, and soon after the family arrived in Charlotte in 2002, she had a change of heart and decided to turn what she missed most about her hometown into an opportunity. At age 20, she approached her mom with the idea of going into business together, opening a high-end fashion boutique. “Retail is really in Callie’s blood,” Laurie says. “My parents owned Hallmark card stores, and she liked ‘working’ in the store when she was only 5. By the age of 8, she was one of the best on the cash register, and at age 10, she started helping my mom with the buying!” In 2005, Callie and Laurie opened Her Therapy, designed to create what they see as the ultimate feminine experience for customers. The walls are covered in vibrant colors, and a pink sofa beckons invitingly. The look is updated, fun, and stylish, and it crosses the age spectrum. Laurie describes > M A Y

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photo by augusto photography photo by augusto photography

photo by augusto photography

Toge ther, callie and laurie lamb opened the bou tique her therapy to offer the ul tima te feminine experience laurie says i t’s been a blessing to share in her daugh ter’s success as she chases dream.1 RJCC_Charlotte_0410:RJCC_Charlotte_0410_LS-2_4202 4/2/10 4:09 PMher Page

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‘‘

Callie didn’t even want to be in the same country as me. People who knew us then still laugh that we now work together every day of the week! — Laurie Lamb

the ambiance of their boutique as “Desperate Housewives meets Gossip Girl.” “There is something for everyone in here,” Callie adds. “We try to be conscious of all body types.” Her Therapy, located on Ballantyne Village Way, carries an array of designer jeans, dresses, tops, and skirts. This year, Laurie and Callie added Trina Turk swimsuits and will begin carrying sandals this summer. In addition to high-end and designer labels, the pair offers a large selection of accessories — jewelry, tube tops, layering pieces, scarves, and T-shirts — that retail for less than $100. “The store is the happiest when the dressing rooms are full,” Laurie says. “Women will talk to each other, and say they feel like they’re back in a college dorm room. It’s very much a girl experience.” Working side-by-side with her daughter has brought blessings, too. Laurie says she feels lucky because she gets to share in

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For The Love Of Dance

Gay porter practically own studios now and to

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raised dau ghter brid get in the ballet studio; both operate their gether guide the charlotte youth ballet.

C h a r l o tt e

Gay Porter remembers standing on stage during a school talent show in her home country of England. She recited poetry that day, but in her heart she nurtured a desire to rise up on her toes and dance. On her 13th birthday, she finally got her wish. Although her mother could barely afford the tuition, she sent Gay to the Arts Educational School in London. “It was hard for my mother,” Gay says. “She struggled, but she did it because she knew I wanted it.” The memory of her mother’s sacrifice inspired Gay not to give up when, as a young mother herself, she was left to raise her four children alone after her husband’s sudden death in the late 1970s. “It was rough, because their dad died when they were all in school,” she says. “My youngest was 8 years old.” In 1968, after a successful dance career that took her all over the world, Gay opened her own studio, Charlotte School of Ballet. At the time of her husband’s passing, she was also busy directing the Charlotte Regional Ballet Company and teaching dance classes at Central Piedmont Community College, where she had started the school’s first ballet program. She worked hard to help her family keep going. “I put four children through college by myself,” she says. When asked about her attimes-brutal schedule, she admits there were sacrifices from both herself and her children. “They sort of raised themselves,” she explains. “They all managed to survive somehow, and now they are great parents.” In addition to running her Charlotte studio, Gay has directed the Charlotte Youth Ballet for the past 26 years. As a nonprofit 501(c)3 organization, the CYB has a mission of enriching the community through exposure to and involvement in first-class arts. Students audition to be part of the company’s productions, which are fully staged with costumes, scenery, and choreography. Every year during the holiday season, the CYB stages The Nutcracker and, in the spring, a storybook ballet. Previous storybook performances include The Sleeping Beauty, Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella, The Wizard of Oz, and Snow White. When the CYB first began producing annual performances of The Nutcracker, Gay choreographed the role of “Clara” for her >

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photo C O URT ESY O F CHAR LOTT E YO UTH BA LLET photo C O URT ESY O F CHAR LOTT E YO UTH BA LLET

Brad Forth photo by

The charlo tte you th balle t gives dancers AN oppor tuni ty to perform balle ts, such as “The nu tcracker” and “ A lice In wonderland.”

‘‘

alongside

professionals

I put four children through college by myself. They sort of raised themselves. They all managed to survive somehow, and now they are great parents. — Gay Porter

daughter Bridget, who was then 16. “I was never in The Nutcracker,” Gay says, “so it was my dream that my daughter would be!” Bridget has always shared her mother’s love of dancing. “I was a studio brat,” she says with a laugh. “I grew up in the studio. I loved being around ballet.” Like many little girls with tutu dreams, Bridget was in her first dance recital at age 4. Under her mother’s watchful eye, the young ballerina worked hard to perfect her craft. She has danced with the New York City Ballet and the legendary Mikhail Baryshnikov and, in 1978, performed for President Jimmy Carter at the White House. Three years ago, following her mother’s lead, she opened Bel32

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mont School of Ballet. This mother and daughter are so busy operating their own ballet studios, they admit they probably wouldn’t have time to see one another if Bridget had not, more than a decade ago, decided to help her mom guide the Charlotte Youth Ballet. As the company’s ballet mistress, Bridget assists Gay in staging two productions a year for the public — productions that give young area dancers an opportunity to dance alongside professionals from all over the world. And working with children — sometimes as many as 100 — in a full-blown theatrical production is not without its challenges. Several years ago, during a run of Alice in

in full-scale

produc tions of classic

Wonderland, a stomach virus made its way through the cast and crew of the production. Minutes before the curtain was to go up for a performance, several dancers, including professionals, were ill to the point of vomiting backstage. But once the curtain rose, the dancers took their cues and gracefully entered the stage, virus on hold (at least for a few moments). “What they’ve learned here is that the show must go on,” says Paulette Ashlin, who chairs the CYB’s board of directors and has a 12-year-old daughter in the company. The discipline that comes with a commitment to dance can be fairly intense, but the hundreds of students and parent volunteers who have been involved with the Charlotte Youth Ballet over the years can attest that the rewards are great. Many young people who have danced with the CYB have gone on to attend various universities and Ivy League schools; to pursue successful careers in law, politics, healthcare, and, yes, even dance. >

W o m a n

4/21/10 1:56 PM

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An gel a HIls t an d her mo ther, ann l in dsay, have turne d a pass ion for bakin g in to a bus iness that special izes in ho me-baked sou thern swee t tre ats.

Home-Grown Goodies Ann Lindsay and her daughter, Angela Hilst, have been baking for family and friends for over 20 years. They co-own Mama Ann’s Down Home Desserts, an Internet-based bakery, and say even if they had not decided to officially launch their business in 2009, they would be baking … simply because it’s something they both like to do. “I love making desserts, even if it’s just for me,” Angela says. “Being able to make a 34

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profit doing something I enjoy is exciting. Most times, it doesn’t even feel like work!” Mama Ann’s specialties include pineapple upside-down cake, German chocolate cake, pecan pie, sweet potato pie, red velvet cupcakes, and a variety of pound cakes, cookies, and other Southern treats. One of the bakery’s most popular cakes, the Six-Flavor Pound Cake, is sold at KokoMo’s Coffee House on Fourth Street in uptown Charlotte.

“We truly pride ourselves on the quality and affordability of our menu,” Angela says. “We feel we offer customers the best products for the prices.” That value is matched only by the care that goes into each creation. Every Mama Ann’s baked good is made using recipes that have been passed down in the family from generation to generation. Ann says many of the recipes evoke memories of spending time in the kitchen with her grandmother. “I started baking with my grandmother when I was about 8 years old. We didn’t measure anything!” she says, laughing. “I’ve been baking so long that I just know what goes in there. I love to cook, and I love the way things turn out. When I finish baking, I am so proud of myself.” “Growing up, there was always something sweet in our house,” Angela adds. “My mom, grandmamma, and great-grandmamma were always baking. So, for me, a meal is not really over until I’ve had something sweet.” Both mother and daughter have found that working with family has its rewards. “We get along, and I think that’s what makes the business work as well as it has, for as long as it has,” Ann says. Angela says they balance each other out. Her mother is the master baker, and Angela contributes her keen business skill. “It’s a bonding experience,” she explains. “I learn something new all the time.” “We plan to build slowly and steadily,” Ann says. “We don’t want things to take off too quickly. Because we aren’t a large operation, we have been able to thrive despite the down economy. People look for small pickme-ups during difficult times, and sweets seem to lift everyone’s spirits! So we are happy to be able to provide that little slice of happiness for people.” TCW

ToLearnMore For information on Her Therapy, visit hertherapy.com or call 704/341-9100. Visit charlotteyouthballet.com for information on Charlotte Youth Ballet. Visit charlotteballet.com and belmontballet.com for information on Gay Porter’s and Bridget Porter Young’s dance studios. For information on Mama Ann’s Down Home Desserts, visit mamaannsdesserts.com or call 980/721-7552.

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A Shop With Art

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Photo by

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re you interested in art that is not only The Art Of A Traveler beautiful, but serves a practical purSedona Boutique is owned and pose as well? If so, then a visit to operated by Zuhre Arinc, who took Sedona Boutique, one of Char- her hobby of collecting functional lotte’s premier functional art galleries, should art for her own home and transbe at the top of your to-do list. After outgrow- formed it into a fulfilling career. ing two previous sites, the Boutique has A physician by education and recently opened its door in the Village at training in her native country of SouthPark, beside Crate & Barrel. Turkey, she switched direction The specialty home and accessories shop when she arrived in Charlotte. carries distinctive pieces created by artisans Arinc decided to blend her and fine craftsmen from around the globe. passions for travel and colIts collection of one-of-a-kind chandeliers, lecting into an exciting new accent furniture, handmade rugs, pillows, ta- business enterprise. bleware, tabletop decor, flower arrangements, “We love to travel wherand sculptures will add aesthetic appeal and ever we can go,” she says. functionality to any home. Also offered is a “I was always looking for wide selection of unique women’s accesso- something interesting and ries, including chic handbags, beautiful jew- functional, but at the same elry, elegant scarves, personal-care products, time artistic. I started out and many more items that can be found no- just buying things for our Sedona B outi where else in Charlotte. home, but then decided a viable bu que owner Zuhre Arinc has siness. turned he to try it as a business.” r passion for collect ing into Now, the same time and attention that Arinc put into States. The store her own home goes into selecting each item Artists and providers from around the country, also carries a collection of she places on the shelves of Sedona Boutique. and the world, have work available at Sedona, luxurious handmade new and antique Turk“Sometimes I find the pieces, sometimes including the following: ish rugs and exquisite silver. they find me,” she says. “The artists design • Crosby & Taylor (formerly known as Tin To celebrate its new location, Sedona and produce all of the pieces themselves, Woodsman Pewter): pewter kitchen and never from an assembly line. And since every Boutique is hosting a grand opening cockbaby goods piece is handcrafted, there are variations in tail party Sat., June 5, from noon to 9 p.m. Guests are invited to enjoy fine food and each. Some truly are one-of-a-kind.” • Peggy Karr: kitchen fusion glass goods music, as well as meet some of the artists The true artisan nature of the lines and • Max Howard: metal sculpture works Arinc features in her shop make brows- whose work is featured in the shop. RSVPs • Bovano of Cheshire: metal art ing — whether for someone or something spe- should be made by May 30, by calling the cial — a treat. Sedona Boutique even has a store at 704/362-5507 or e-mailing events@ • Fusion Z and Evans Designs: glass and bridal registry, offering a unique opportunity sedonaboutique.com. TCW metal art to surprise a couple with an unforgettable gift • Hilary London: serving pieces and jewelry ToLearnMore to mark an unforgettable day. • Michael Aram: metal artist Each week, Sedona Boutique receives Sedona Boutique is located in the Village at SouthPark, a new shipment of treasures from vari4310 Sharon Road, Suite U11A. Hours are Mon., noon • Cohn-Stone Studios: glass art ous countries, including Italy, Poland, the to 6 p.m.; Tue. through Sat., 10:30 a.m. to 9 p.m.; and • Baijan Glass Art: glasswork Czech Republic, Russia, Germany, EngSun., 1 to 6 p.m. For information, call 704/362-5507 or land, France, Turkey, Israel, Canada, and • And jewelry from Anna Balkan, Ayala Bar, visit sedonaboutique.com. Brazil, as well as from across the United Dori Csengeri, Rena Luxx, and Volpino.

TO PHOTO GRAPHY

By Melind a Johns ton

Global Goodies

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As executive director of C ollaborative Arts Theatre, Elise Wilkinson strives to help others find “the fun” in Shakespeare.

Playing

For Keeps By Ka r s en Pr ic e

E l i s e

W i l k i n s o n

T a k e s

S h a k e s p e a r e

up one morning to find you have two full-

amounts to almost two full-time roles, the second

time jobs — one in the banking industry;

of which comes with no pay,” says Wilkinson,

the other running a nonprofit theater on a

co-founder of Collaborative Arts Theatre, which

dream come true.

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P a r k

“Some people think I’m crazy to balance what

To Elise Wilkinson, it’s a midsummer night’s

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T h e

t may sound like a nightmare … waking

shoestring budget.

T o

annually brings the region’s only free Shakespeare festival to The Queen City. “But I do feel a little bit possessed when it comes to theater.”

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which I think has served me well. In terms of running a theater, I think it’s very helpful to be able to do both.” Carolyn Meade, an attorney with Moore & Van Allen, and a driving force behind the grant provided by the Women’s Impact Fund, agrees. “That is an unusual and dynamite combination in the leader of a small nonprofit arts group,” she says. Throughout her career in the financial sector, Wilkinson continued to hone both her business acumen and her passion for theater. In 1998, she left Charlotte for New York City, where she produced several successful shows. In 2004, she returned to Charlotte to work at

Photos Courtesy

O f Collaborative

A rts theatre

“Possessed” is a good word. As is “overachiever” — which Creative Loafing tagged Wilkinson with in 2007, when she won its Best Performing Arts Overachiever Award. That same year, Collaborative Arts Theatre was the first recipient of an arts-related grant from the Women’s Impact Fund. The grant was for $49,000 over two years, and it helped Wilkinson turn her fledgling Shakespeare festival into a viable performing arts company. “I’m so proud of that grant,” she says. “It seemed like a long shot, since we were only 2 years old. The WIF made a huge leap of faith to underwrite such a young organization. Their funding made a tremendous impact in creating

El is e Wil k in s o n d r ea med o f br in g in g c l a s s ic a l t h ea t er T o t h e c it y in t h e f o r m o f a n o u t d o o r f es t iv a l .

a sustainable free arts festival for our city, and it gave us a huge boost of confidence that there were people in this city who really cared about what we were trying to accomplish.”

Act I Wilkinson’s foray into performing arts began at her conservatory-style high school in Greenville, S.C., and continued at the University of South Carolina Honors College, where she majored in theater. After graduation, she worked for a small theater in Greenville before moving to Charlotte and starting a career in financial communications. These days, Wilkinson handles public relations for businesses in Wells Fargo’s wholesale division. “I’ve been doing financial communications for 17 years, which entails being able to understand what the numbers mean, so I can craft messages around that,” she says. “I have a business head, and I have a creative head,

Wachovia Bank, which had merged with First Union. Her time in New York didn’t quench her thirst for performing arts; if anything, the experience whetted her appetite for bringing classical theater to Charlotte. “I had produced a few shows when I was living in New York and, while successful, I found it to be a draining experience due to the extremely high production costs and the very competitive climate,” she says. “I found Charlotte to be a much friendlier environment in which to produce. The Charlotte theater scene didn’t seem overcrowded to me and, at the time, there was a complete lack of classical theater.” Thus, the idea for a Shakespeare festival was conceived.

Reality Check Wilkinson’s first challenge was to convince fellow actor/friend Joe Copley to join forces with her. “I knew I wanted to try this,” > M A Y

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Photo Courtesy

O f Collaborative

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Much Ado About Something

IN ADDITION TO PRODUCING WORKS BY SHAKESPEARE, COLLABORATIVE ARTS THEATRE ALSO OFFERS AUDIENCES CONTEMPORARY PLAYS MEANT TO ENGAGE AND INSPIRE.

she recalls. “He was less certain.” And with good reason. In addition to being cast in roles all over town, Copley was running his own business, and the thought of starting a nonprofit theater was daunting. But Wilkinson managed to convince him. “We just said, ‘Let’s give this a go. Let’s do some fun Shakespeare.’ ” “Ay,” as Hamlet said, “there’s the rub.” When most people think of Shakespeare, “fun” isn’t the first word that springs to mind. Instead, they recall unpleasant memories of reading Macbeth out loud in seventh-grade English class. But Shakespeare’s works — which are comic, bawdy, tragic, and full of word plays 38

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— were created to entertain. “I think, for many of us, we lost the fun in Shakespeare a long time ago,” Wilkinson says. “That’s what we want to help bring back.” She and Copley enlisted a small group of actors, then began the venue search. She says, “We asked ourselves, ‘What would be the best atmosphere for a free Shakespeare play?’ ” They settled on Ri-Ra, an Irish pub known for its homey, dark interior and fun-loving clientele, in the heart of uptown Charlotte. The weekly show enjoyed a run in the pub’s upstairs room on Thursday nights. “We packed the house every time,” Wilkinson says.

That initial success led to the idea of an outdoor Shakespeare festival. They started small, with one show — A Midsummer Night’s Dream. And again, the dilemma was finding an appropriate venue. On her way to work at Wachovia one day, Wilkinson says she noticed “this great park uptown that was owned by the Bank. I thought, This park is dedicated to literature! It needs some outdoor Shakespeare in it.” She approached the powers that be and pitched her vision. They not only agreed to the idea; they offered to waive the rent and provide security and event personnel. Shakespeare on The Green was born … and will be celebrating its fifth anniversary this June. Collaborative Arts Theatre has since received support from the Arts & Science Council, and The Wachovia Foundation awarded the group a $5,000 grant in 2010, in addition to underwriting many production costs at The Green. These days, Wilkinson is learning to rely on a corps of key people to help the nonprofit stage its performances, and trying not to sweat the small stuff. “It really has been a learning experience for me,” she admits, “because I got so used to owning it all. But it’s the only way we can keep moving forward.” And forward progress is Wilkinson’s ultimate goal. She would like the Theatre to continue operating for decades, and to eventually outlast her participation in it. When she is asked why Charlotte needs Shakespeare, Wilkinson’s passion is evident. “He was one of the greatest playwrights that ever lived,” she says. “When you look at the beauty of the language, the structure of the writing; everything from the hundreds of words he created that are in our language now to the beautiful rhythm and timeless stories … there’s a reason that, almost 500 years later, his plays are still out there.” TCW

ToLearnMore Collaborative Arts Theatre kicks off The 5th Annual Charlotte Shakespeare Festival with A Comedy of Errors June 3 through 20, at The Green Uptown. The group stages Othello Aug. 4 through 15, in the McGlohon Theatre at Spirit Square. For details, visit collaborativeartstheatre.com.

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Susan Andersen created the ANSWER Foundation to provide opportunities for single mothers to earn college degrees.

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Turning Strife

Into Strength And Building A Foundation For Others To Do The Same By Mel in da Jo h n s to n

ometimes we find answers in the most unlikely places … and often before we even know the questions. Susan Andersen found her answer in the midst of a personal crisis. Andersen was happily married for 22 years, with a wonderful family, career, and future. When her marriage ended, she was thrust into the role of single mother with two teenage

children to care for. Luckily, Andersen’s divorce left her financially sound. Despite her heartbreak, she

realized that many women in the same situation weren’t so fortunate.

“I left my attorney’s office for one of the last times and sat in my car feeling sorry for myself,” she recalls. “I was just so sad. Then I had an epiphany. So many single moms are struggling to keep it together, but I was going to be able to make ends meet. I realized how much I had been blessed and that now it was time for me to do something to help other people.” She started the ANSWER Foundation as a remedy to her grief and pain, and as a way to give back, in some small way, the kindness that had been bestowed on her when she needed it most.

Realizing The American Dream Years ago, Andersen experienced firsthand how difficult it can be to finance a college education. After her family moved to Charlotte in 1974, she attended Alexander Graham Middle School, and later graduated from Myers Park High School. Then, just before she was about to start college, her parents divorced, and there was little money for her tuition.

Relentless in her pursuit of an education, Andersen patched together a hodgepodge of scholarships, grants, and loans, and then worked through her breaks and summers to earn spending money. One of her main sources of funding came from the Charlotte Organization of Insurance Women, which awarded her a $1,000 scholarship yearly, for four years. “Every year, I’d go to their annual meeting and they would present the scholarship to me,” Andersen says. “I always knew that one day I would find a way to pay it back.” After graduating from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte with a degree in business, Andersen married one of her high school classmates. She worked at First Union Bank; he started a heating and cooling business in their small home. When their daughter was born, Andersen quit her bank job and channeled her energy into selling Mary Kay Cosmetics. (She’s earned nine cars from the company over her career — two of them pink Cadillacs!) As she grew her business, she tended > M A Y

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her home and family, which had also grown with the birth of her second child. Her husband’s business grew as well, expanding into its own space and adding more employees. Life was good.

A Need To Give Back

The Answer Found ation has aw arded 25 schol arships to women earning college degrees and r aising school- age children, including R enee Higgins (l) and ani ta che rry ( R ).

‘‘

So many single moms are struggling to keep it together, but I was going to be able to make ends meet. I realized how much I had been blessed and that now it was time for me to do something to help other people. — Susan Andersen

off and running … or riding. An avid bicyclist, she met a fellow rider, Glenn Christensen, on a Saturday morning ride a year after her divorce, and soon found herself on her first “first date” in over 20 years. The two were married in 2007. The couple recently celebrated Christensen’s 50th birthday by going on a bike tour of Italy. For Andersen’s 50th, which is coming up in two years, they are planning a bike tour of Germany and Austria. Closer to home, they’ve cycled around Maine, through the Amish country, and in California. The two have applied that same energy and enthusiasm to their passion for giving back to others. Andersen’s husband gives through Trips For Kids, an organization that takes children trail riding and provides them with recycled bikes. She, of course, continues 42

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When her marriage dissolved, Andersen was determined to push past her pain and regroup, focusing her efforts toward helping those she saw in need. “A single mother with kids and no education is almost certainly destined to live in poverty,” she says. “But if you can help a mother succeed, her children will most likely follow in her footsteps, striving to break that cycle of poverty.” Motivated by a necessity to look beyond her own unhappy circumstances, Andersen forged ahead with a plan to take action and make a difference for women in the community. Her attorney helped her establish a 501(c)3 nonprofit corporation. She then gathered a board of directors, enlisted the Foundation For The Carolinas for management, and the ANSWER Foundation — Andersen Nontraditional Scholarship for Women’s Education and Retraining — was off and running. Shortly after that, Andersen herself was

to help others through her foundation. Since 2006, ANSWER has awarded $44,000 in 25 scholarships to single mothers who are raising school-age children while trying to earn their own college degrees. Andersen sees it as her way of paying forward some of her many blessings. “To whom much is given, much is expected,” she says simply. “That’s why I do what I do.” TCW

ToLearnMore The ANSWER Foundation awards scholarships to “nontraditional” female students, age 25 or older, who are primary caregivers for at least one school-age child. Financial contributions are always needed, but there are many other ways to help. Visit andersenfoundation.com or call 704/5441988 for information.

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Cathy Bessant 2009 Charlotte BusinessWoman O f The Y ear By Lee Rhodes • photo by AUGUSTO PHOTOGRAPHY

ueens University of Charlotte has named Bank of America executive Cathy Bessant its 2009 Charlotte BusinessWoman of the Year. The annual award recognizes the achievements of women professionals in the for-profit sector, based upon their contributions to their business, civic, and cultural communities. From her civic leadership to her business acumen, Bessant is continually working for

the betterment of the Charlotte region, and she becomes the 25th woman honored as BusinessWoman of the Year. During her 25-plus year tenure at Bank of America, Bessant has had what she calls the “good fortune” to work in many of

the Bank’s businesses: Corporate Banking, Mortgage, Community Development, Consumer Banking, Small Business, Marketing, and Corporate Affairs, and most recently, Global Corporate Banking. In January, Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan asked her to take on the role of Global Technology & Operations executive. As the head of a consolidated technology and operations group and a member of Moynihan’s executive management team, Bessant is responsible for an organization that comprises about 25 percent of the Bank’s associates.

“Technology & Operations is critically involved in many of our company’s most interesting challenges and opportunities,” Bessant explains. “Risk management, regulatory compliance, globalization — we can help business executives across the company manage these 44

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and other issues aggressively and successfully. We can make a significant contribution to the company’s growth.” Bessant has accountability for everything from the Bank’s hundreds of technology platforms, to its operations sites and call centers

around the globe, to major corporate transitions, such as the integration with Merrill Lynch. The Bank’s vast T&O group was consolidated several years ago, but then de-centralized into the business as the Bank evolved. Now, under Bessant’s leadership, it’s com-

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Task Force for the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools, which proposed numerous reforms in the Charlotte-Mecklenburg public schools. She was instrumental in the successful effort to have the NASCAR Hall of Fame choose to locate in Charlotte, and she remains on the Hall of Fame’s advisory board. She sits on other boards throughout the country, many of which relate to banking. Locally, Agent Of Change By far, the most important things in my life are my children. she says, “I’m also pretty Bessant is known at Bank PUB ATION: Cha involved in my chilof America as a business I call myself a mom who works asLIC opposed to rlott a working e the City Magazinactively e DATE: August 2006 dren’s school.” leader who brings a fresh permom. That’s an important distinction tok me. ARTICL E: Eat, Drin Bessant and her husspective to each of her roles — Cathy Bessant band, John Clay, have two and is not afraid to challenge children, who are 14 and 10. conventional thinking. In her position as chief marketing officer in the early Carolinians. FFTC is among the top 10 com- She and John spend a lot of time at swim meets 2000s, she completely revamped the look munity foundations in the country. Bessant and field hockey and lacrosse games watching of 6,000 banking centers around the United is also chairing the Community Catalyst their kids, both of whom are active in athletics. States and introduced the bold red design Fund, a group of foundation and private Recently, they’ve enjoyed watching the Olymthat has become the company’s signature. As sector funders that have come together to pics as a family, and they are avid travelers. “By far, the most important things in my head of Global Corporate Banking, her job help Mecklenburg charities weather the just prior to the current post, she co-led a proj- recession. The effort, which she calls “a great life are my children,” Bessant says. “I call myself a mom who works as opposed to a workect to develop the company’s growth strate- body of work,” has already raised $4 million. Previously, Bessant co-chaired, along with ing mom. That’s an important distinction to gies outside the United States, following the former Mayor Harvey Gantt, the Citizens me.” TCW transformative acquisition of Merrill Lynch.

‘‘

In addition to her multifaceted leadership at Bank of America, Bessant is active in the civic arena and is deeply involved in the community. This past December, she began a two-year assignment as chairman of the board of The Foundation For The Carolinas, a nonprofit corporation created by and for

‘‘

ing back together again, and virtually everything that it takes for the company to operate is led by or participated in by her team. She speaks of the T&O organization’s role as a key partner, driving efficiency and innovation, and delivering end-to-end solutions for all of the lines of businesses and geographies of the company.

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C h a r l o t t e - B a s e d O u t r e a c h T r a n s f o r m s C h i ld r e n ’ s L i v e s

Mothering

World The

By Debra Moffitt-Leslie • photos courtesy of mothering across continents

“T

he world will be saved by the Western woman,” the Dalai Lama said at the 2009 Vancouver Peace Summit. And the ways women are organizing and participating in Charlottebased Mothering Across Continents indicate that’s exactly SM

what they have in mind.

Founded by Charlotteans Patricia Shafer, president of Compel Ltd., and

Lyndall Hare, Ph.D., of Lyndall Hare Consulting, MAC grew out of Shafer’s impassioned editorial published in The Charlotte Observer in 2006, on World AIDS Day. In the piece, she appealed to the community to become a world-class city — not only through investing in sports and the arts, but by reaching around the globe to poverty-stricken areas, where small donations, or “seed money,” can make a huge difference in children’s lives. >

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Like-Minded Activism Shafer’s message resonated with Hare, who is originally from South Africa. When the two women put their heads together, MAC was born. “We really wanted to do something very different,” Hare says. “Patricia has a strong background in strategic development, and I have a strong background in community organizing.” Prior to the creation of MAC, Hare was involved with the South Africa Development Fund, and Shafer played a role at Save the Children International. In realizing their vision for “something very different,” Shafer and Hare wanted to offer a platform that focused on how women could respond to the needs in Africa. With the help of National Public Radio correspondent Cokie Roberts, the initiative was launched at a Charlotte benefit in 2007. In August 2009, MAC became a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization. Drawing on the natural ability of women to network, build relationships, nurture, and reach out to others, the MAC organization now functions as a place where women come together to transform the lives of vulnerable and at-risk children in Africa. Both Shafer and Hare volunteer time to the group, and over 90 percent of proceeds from fundraising efforts go to projects that directly impact African children. “So many women come to me and say, ‘I’ve always dreamed of doing something in Africa,’ ” says Shafer, who serves as executive director and chief catalyst for the organization. “We offer a way to help through being actively involved.”

The Power Of A Woman’s Touch Shafer says that MAC recognizes women as a powerful force in philanthropy, and that the mothering instinct is universal and is not limited to women with children. In fact, she adds, “We have a number of ‘lost boys’ now ‘mothering’ other lost boys who were > Mothering Across Continents has facilitated projects around the African continent. Pictured at left, clockwise: 1. Boys of the Woza Moya Children’s Center, in Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa. 2. Children at the Woza Moya Play Center, part of MAC’s Building Futures program. 3. Students in Sudan educated as part of the Raising Sudan program. 4. Girls of the Nyaarweng School in Sudan.

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orphaned due to the turmoil in their countries.” The original lost boys were among some 3,800 refugees who arrived in the United States during the past decade, after escaping the horrors of war and genocide in Sudan. MAC transcends the usual profile of a charitable organization. It accepts donations, but it also strongly encourages people to initiate worthy projects and get directly involved. “We help women identify a project, define and set goals for it, and then move it along so that at some point it can be replicated and taken to scale by someone else locally,” Shafer says. So far, MAC has contributed $13,000 toward funding meals at three high schools, and $26,000 toward developing a children’s education and play center.

Piecing Together A Unified Mission Hare, a board member and strategic advisor to MAC, compares the organization to a quilt, with many pieces coming together to form a unique whole. For example, Jerri Hatch, who lives near Washington, D.C., approached MAC in 2009, hoping to help out the Mwiko primary school, which she had vis-

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Jerri Hatch (pictured at right, in sunglasses) helped coordinate an adopt-a-school program in Rwanda. Here, she visits the Mwiko primary school.

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Pattern, color

of doing something in Africa.’ We offer a way to help

and texture...

through being actively involved. — Patricia Shafer

ited in Rwanda. “I went to the school, met the principal and teachers, and was advised by international nonprofit professionals that Rwanda is a good place to pilot an adopt-a-school effort,” Shafer says. MAC will prioritize and clarify the school’s needs and assure the sound use of funds, while Hatch will launch a Mentoring Mwiko fundraising campaign here in the United States. Karen Puckett, of Salisbury, traveled to Sudan in 2009 and, in conjunction with the Lost Boys of Sudan, is now working with MAC on its Raising Sudan project, which will require $150,000 to build a school and train teachers for 300 students. Then there is the Caring Schools project. Shafer feels strongly about the power of education to help children grow out of difficult circumstances. However, when children are underfed, she says, they become listless and unable to study or learn effectively. Through Caring Schools, MAC sets up programs to provide meals to orphaned tenth-graders. In its first Caring Schools projects, the organization partnered with Save the Children to fund meals, provide education, and create school vegetable gardens in the Free State of South Africa. MAC currently supports four projects in South Africa, Rwanda, and Southern Sudan. The ultimate goal is not only to contribute to the basics of today, but to invest in the futures of these children.

A Coalition Of Caring Projects unfold after identification of specific needs in areas that are off the radar of non-governmental organizations and government-funded programs. A core group of women who make up what is known as a Guiding Coalition is appointed to advise, guide, manage, and inspire the pilot projects. One member of the Coalition, Sharon Dempsey, of Greensboro, launched an “I

CAN” campaign to collect money in soda cans for the Building Futures project, to develop the Woza Moya Children’s Center in the Ufafa Valley of Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa. Each can will hold approximately 500 quarters ($125), which is enough to send one child to school, with books and clothing, for a year. Dempsey, who is also of South African origin, says she learned about MAC at its screening of award-winning documentary director Louise Hogarth’s film, Angels in the Dust, a story of HIV orphans. On another front, South-African-born local photographer Mimika Cooney contributes her photos to create annual Mother’s Day calendars of children and mothers. So far, MAC has received $5,500 in proceeds from calendar sales. MAC also sells the DO Ubuntu bracelets made by women living with HIV in a region of South Africa that has one of the country’s highest unemployment rates. DO Ubuntu, according to MAC, means, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” One half of the money from bracelet sales goes to the cooperative to support the women and children; the other half goes toward funding MAC activities. Natural bead necklaces, also sold to support the projects, perhaps best represent the underlying essence of MAC. The beads, strung together by the Batwa tribe, are actually seeds that come from the Bwindi Impenetrable Forest in Uganda. According to Shafer, “The seed necklaces symbolize what can be accomplished when women are connected and equipped as a social network, changing lives in Africa.” TCW

For information on how you can become involved in Mothering Across Continents, call 704/6070098 or visit motheringacrosscontinents.org.

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T i p s F o r A n n o u n c i n g T h e B i g D a y W i t h St y l e

graduating graciously

ou’ve done the hard work, put in the long hours — and now graduation (whether it’s your own or your child’s!) is finally here. Spreading the good news of completion of college or high school is a time-honored tradition. While some families celebrate by sending out announcements and having a nice dinner at home, others blow it out with invitations to an elaborate gathering.

However you choose to mark the big day, consider what the graduate wants and plan your approach accordingly. There are certain specific etiquette rules that apply to this unique special occasion. These tips will help you create graduation announcements and invitations that reflect the graduate herself — while celebrating in style. pic k a c a r d, no t just a ny c a r d If you want people to attend the graduation ceremony, you need to send out graduation invitations. Schools often limit the number of guests you can invite and will issue event tickets. It’s best to only invite family members and closest friends to the actual ceremony. Send invitations 10 to 14 days before the event. If guests must travel to attend, give them at least six weeks notice. Most recipients of ceremony invitations will assume a gift is expected, so if you do not wish to receive one, add “No gifts, please” to the card. Include clear directions and parking instructions to the venue. To let a larger group of people know about the big day, send out graduation announcements. Announcements may be sent at any time, even up to two weeks after the ceremony.

Traditionally, announcements mean that a gift is not expected. So, again, you may want to add “No gifts, please” to the card. If you’re planning a graduation party, you should send out a separate invitation just for that event. Party invitations should be sent three to four weeks in advance. Include directions and/or a map to the party location. Also be sure to indicate appropriate dress, whether backyard casual or more formal. T a ke It Per so na l l y These days, you can go as formal or as informal as you like with graduation announcements and graduation party invitations. One way to make them truly unique is to create personalized photo announcements. Add your own special message, school, and degree information, and a photo of yourself. Some online services

save you time by printing and mailing the cards directly to friends and family on your list. Giving Hea r t Fel t Tha nks When graduation is over, it’s important to thank those who attended the ceremony and those who sent gifts. Using personalized stationery or photo thank-you cards is another great way to express your gratitude in a unique way. Take photos at the party with each guest or with their gift — then create a special photo card for each person. With a site like Cardstore.com there’s no minimum order, so you can create a personalized thank you for each recipient. If you’re feeling really creative, include a photo business card with your picture and new contact information — it’s a memorable way to help people keep up with you as you start a new chapter in life. TCW

Source: Cardstore.com and Family Features.

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Military Moms Supporting Those Who Protect And Support Us All By Hannah Miller

special group of area women will observe Mother’s Day while listening with one ear for a phone call from Afghanistan. They are the wives and mothers of South Carolina National Guard soldiers who’ve been on a one-year deployment since January. Cell

phones and, sometimes, the Internet keep them connected across the miles. Staff Sgt. Eric Kimbrell, whose civilian job is with Servicon Sales in Charlotte, calls weekly to talk to his wife, Tammi, and their two daughters, Dori, 10, and Hailey, 12. “He always asks how things are at home and how the girls are doing,”Tammi says. Tammi knows her husband will try to call or send a letter on Mother’s Day. She and the girls plan to celebrate the occasion in their Rock Hill home. “I’m still Mom, even while he’s gone,” she says. In Chester, Charlotte native Bonnie Hoagland hopes to receive four phone calls from Afghanistan on Mother’s Day. Her husband, Staff Sgt. Chris Hoagland, is stationed there. So are three of her four sons — Bradley, Justin, and Clayton Moss. Bonnie usually talks to her husband a couple of times a week. Her sons call several times a month. “I’ll be waiting to see,” she says. “If they’re out on a mission, I may not get a call for a couple of days.” >

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PHOTO BY SCOTT STILES PHOTO BY SCOTT STILES

Bonnie Hoagland, at home in Chester, S.C., is a proud mother to four sons who have served in the National Guard. Three are currently stationed in Afghanistan, as is Bonnie’s husband Staff Sgt. Chris Hoagland.

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Unexpected Developments The first call-up, in 2003, shocked both Tammi and Bonnie, even though their husbands were already in the Guard. “We just never thought in a million years that he’d be going to war,” Bonnie says of husband Chris, who works as a mechanic in civilian life. Plans for Chris and Bonnie’s wedding went into overdrive after Sept. 11, as the country’s military response revved up. At first, the couple thought they’d marry in a few months. Then it was a few weeks. Then, Bonnie says, Chris got word from the Guard: “If you plan to do it, you better do it tomorrow.” Someone offered a church without charge, they planned the wedding in one day, and five days later, Chris was off to fight. While he was gone, all four of Bonnie’s sons decided to follow their stepfather, whom they admire, into military service. Except for Clayton, who is an Army Ranger, the men are stationed together, with the 1222nd Combat Engineers of the S.C. National Guard. The approximately 100-member Fort Millbased unit has been deployed three times since 2003 — first to Iraq, and then to Afghanistan. Its

mission is keeping transportation routes clear, and that can involve bomb demolition. “They see each other every day,” Bonnie says of her guys. “But you’ve got a lot of them in one basket. It’s kind of scary.” Bonnie’s fourth son, Chad Moss, is no longer in Afghanistan, because he was wounded during the 2007-08 deployment. All four brothers and their stepfather were called up then, but only Justin and Chad were sent to Afghanistan, where Chad was hit three different times. “I told him I didn’t know if he had a target on him or what,” Bonnie says. “Luckily, his injuries weren’t really, really bad. Thank the good Lord he didn’t lose a limb. He’s got some back issues, some shrapnel, but nothing major.” Chad is now back home, married, and living in Rock Hill — to his mother’s great relief. Because not all of Bonnie’s sons had reached the Guard’s required age of 18 when they decided to sign up, she had to sign parental consent forms. Now, her only other child, 16-year-old Rachel Moss, is talking about joining up. Bonnie has told Rachel she’ll have to wait until she’s 18. “It’s so hard,” Bonnie says. “The only thing I can do is make >

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PHOTO BY AUGUSTO PHOTOGRAPHY PHOTO BY AUGUSTO PHOTOGRAPHY

Tammi Kimbrell, whose husband Staff Sgt. Eric Kimbrell is pictured in uniform top right, makes sure her daughters Dori and Hailey stay connected to Dad while he’s in Afghanistan. “I’m still Mom,” she says simply. “Even while he’s gone.”

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reflect... reframe...resolve... at the 2010 NC Governor’s Conference for Women

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www.ncwomensconference.com

Sapp hir e

November 9 2010 rd Awa

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Jean Ch atz

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Tammi recently resigned from her job in the City of Rock Hill’s purchasing office so she could spend more time with her daughters. She says she wants to spend the summer with them, and “drive off to the beach at a moment’s notice.” She met her husband in the ninth grade, and says it was love at first sight. He had access to the Internet during his last tour (although not, so far, during this stint), and Tammi says that Skype phone calls, instant text messaging, and Web cams were a big help. At Christmas in 2007, she set the Web cam on the TV stand at her parents’ home, so Eric was able to watch his family open their gifts. Another time, a neighbor videotaped one of the girls’ soccer games, put the result on a flash drive, and sent it to Eric. Over the past few years, the good times stand out for Tammi. Last Christmas, the community and Lowe’s Home Improvement joined forces to give Eric’s entire unit a holiday trip home from training in Wisconsin. Hailey recalls how she greeted her dad that day. “Screamed!” she laughs. Another good time came in 2007, when Eric got a two-week leave from Afghanistan, and surprised his wife at work. “I went to him and I hugged him, and we both cried,” she says. Later that day, she and Eric were sitting together on the sofa when the kids came in. Tammi will always remember the way they looked at their father and then did a doubletake as they realized who he was. “I still think about that, and I get all teary-eyed,” she says. “That was special.”

Tammi, Bonnie, and the other wives and mothers who are living in the same set of circumstances support each other through their Family Readiness Group. In times of both peace and war, military spouses (both women and men) have always been the cornerstone of support for deployed soldiers and their families. “It’s nice to be around other women in the same situation, and share stories, or fears, or concerns,” Tammi says. “Sometimes you want to just shut yourself out and deal with it by yourself. But you really are not by yourself.” In addition to worries about their men’s safety, military wives often find that the mundane elements of life at home can be difficult to manage alone. Family Readiness helps with these situations as well, by supplying a list of plumbers, handymen, and landscape companies. Tammi notes that when she does get to talk to her husband, she tries not to mention minor household issues. “He doesn’t need to know if we had to call a plumber or if the car broke down,” she says. “When they call, you want to talk about positive things.” Tammi goes on to explain that the wives and mothers in their support group are simply doing what others would do in the same situation. “All we do is support our husbands 100 percent, regardless of whether we agree with or even understand what they are fighting for,” she says. “I pray every single day for my husband’s safety and for his protection. My strength comes from God.” “We take every day as it comes, and feel blessed that they were safe that day,” Bonnie adds. “We hope every day will be that way until they get home.” TCW

Go ve

The Call Of Duty

Family Preparedness: A Shared Prospect

sure I support their decision. And I’m there for them if they need anything.”

nci al

Journalist

Register now online at www.ncwomensconference.com Attendee Scholarships, Exhibiting & Sponsorships Available. Connect with us on Facebook and Twitter Anchor Sponsors:

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Vacationing Bargains For Baby Boomers And Beyond

T a k e A d v a n t a g e o f De a l s M a d e J u s t F o r Y o u

mpty nesters, retirees, and busy baby boomers can all take advantage of travel deals when planning the perfect getaway. If you are over age 50, there’s a bargain for you.

Pa r k It , Na t io na l l y

For $10, U.S. citizens or permanent residents age 62 or over can get a lifetime pass to any federal recreation site, which admits the pass holder and all car passengers for free. The America the Beautiful-National Parks and Federal Recreational Lands PassSenior Pass also provides a 50-percent discount on some fees charged for facilities and services such as camping, swimming, and boating. The pass can only be obtained in person at the park. Visit nps.gov for more details. S c h o o l ’ s I n On E d u c a t i o n a l T r ips

Don’t let the “education” tag fool you — you’ll find no textbooks on these trips, but you might just learn something anyway! Elderhostel offers nearly 8,000 educational tours in all 50 states and in 90 countries around the world. Their Web site, elderhostel.org, showcases many tours under $600, including: • A three-night Napa Valley winery trip

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• A five-night service trip in Maryland to help build a Heifer Global Village • A one-night Dine Like a Critic experience in Cambridge, Mass. • A three-day digital photography class in Raquette Lake, N.Y. • A four-day Shakespeare study in Oregon

C r u isin ’ F o r De a l s

There are cruise deals aplenty these days. Talking with a travel agent and searching online can turn up some significant savings. If you are interested in a specialty cruise for seniors only, visit cruisecompete.com, a cost-comparison site. Searching under the seniors category will list offerings from various cruise lines and lets you compare features and pricing.

Tips On Trips Joining AAR P nets discounts on hotels, rental cars, vacation packages, and more. At aarp.org, they also have a Trend Tracker that lets you evaluate the least expensive hotel and flight prices for the time of year you want to travel. Combining airfare, hotel, and rental car costs under a package deal can often save quite a bit of money. Do some homework, however, and compare the package price with the total cost of booking each element separately to make sure you’re getting the best deal. Sign up for promotional e-mails from several hotel, airline, and travel sites, such as expedia.com, orbitz.com, and travelocity.com. You’ll receive alerts on special promotions and fare reductions. Sites such as transitionsabroad.com have helpful travel tips and resources that can save you time and money.

N o S i t t in g A l l o w e d

If lounging around the pool is too tame for you, look into the many active vacations available. The travel site away.com lists the Top 10 Active Baby Boomer Vacations. Affordable options include biking in Vermont, birding in Alaska, trekking the Appalachian Trail in Maine, horseback riding in Wyoming, and hiking in Colorado. Another great option for actionseekers is Passport in Time, a volunteer archaeology and historic preservation program of the USDA Forest Service. Work with professional archaeologists and historians on archaeological survey and excavation, rock art restoration, historic structure restoration, and analysis and curation of artifacts. You must submit an application to be considered, and be ready to pitch a tent or pay for accommodations nearby. Find out more at passportintime.com. TCW

Source: Family Features.

W o m a n

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Fashion

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The Sky’s The Limit … S p r i n g

I s

B l u e

B y

Y o u

By fiona harmon

aybe country crooner

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Alan Jackson was

the year by color expert Pantone.

Color experts aside, wearing

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the designers of everything from

peaceful. Dressed in blue, you

suits to shoes to sofa coverings

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friendly, as well as fashion-

an antidote. Spring 2010 is awash

forward. This spring, it doesn’t

in the many hues of blue — from

matter which shade you choose

navy to azure to turquoise. In fact,

— just give in to the blues and

turquoise (color code 15-5519)

see how happy you feel. >

right

when

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Hair Apparent The Bobby Pin Takes Today’s Fashionable Heads By Storm By Fiona Harmon • Photo By Anita O’Hara

’m not positive who Bobby was, but he sure did make a dent in the proliferation of unruly bangs when we were in middle school. Who didn’t have at least one bobby pin in her backpack for post-gym class hair emergencies? Bangs may have gone the way of shoulder pads and cell phone antennas, but it appears that bobby pins are making a comeback as their own darling fashion statement. If you’ve been pinning your hopes on finding a way to stylishly tame your locks, you’re in luck. Bobby saves the day with these hair accessories that are as pretty as they are useful. A wide selection of bobby pins is available at local drugstores, grocery stores, and beauty supply shops. TCW

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Honoring a Battle withPassion 2010 Woman of the Year Candidates: Jennifer Cook • Dee Dixon • Rebecca Glazer • Ife’ Moore Vicki Parker • Louise Roth • Martha Whitecotton

2010 Man of the Year Candidates: Jim Feldman • Dr. Cary Fishburne • Aaron Miller Dr. Reza Nazemzadeh • Matthew Ridenhour Man & Woman candidates are goal-oriented and compassionate. Their relentless efforts are focused on making life better for hundreds of thousands of patients battling blood cancers: leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma. Who will be the male and female candidate who raises the most funds for LLS in a ten-week period?

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at home

Tabletop Whimsy Shaking It Up At Mealtime By Michelle Young Hubacher • Photo By Anita O’Hara

f it’s bad luck (or maybe just bad form?) to pass the salt without the pepper, consider the heartlessness of separating two tiny ceramic swans across the vast expanse of your dining room table. Swans are, after all, one of the few species that mate for life. Many animals, cartoon characters, iconic symbols of the day, and even world leaders are immortalized in miniature and filled with salt and pepper — all to provide a little style, kitsch, color, or just a good giggle over dinner. The shakers pictured here are part of the collection of Charlotte couple Nona Patterson and Mike Realon. The entire collection,

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which includes well over 100 delectable pairs, was left to them when Realon’s mother died in 2000. “It’s certainly an unusual collection,” Patterson says with a laugh. “But they’re fun, and they just remind us of Mike’s mom.” This month, especially, that is a sentiment worth its salt. TCW

Did you know that salty soup is a sign that the cook is in love? Log on to todayscharlottewoman.com to read more old wives’ tales and superstitions involving salt and pepper.

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v H e a l t h M a t t e r s

Cuz’ Mom Said So Medical Myths And Maxims Unmasked By Lee Rhodes

Does how I carry my baby during pregnancy indicate whether it’s a girl or boy? Will chocolate really give me pimples? Is taking a bath in milk good for my skin?

If I don’t have a family history of breast cancer, can I still get it?

n an age of unprecedented medical knowledge, it’s amazing that so many of us still put our trust in old wives’ tales, most of which have their origins in superstition and folklore. Passed down through the ages via oral tradition, many of these ancient tales represent the myths that surround health and disease today — myths and messages our own grandmothers and mothers continue to perpetuate. So, does Mom always know best? While we can all agree that a birthmark is not a sign of the devil’s touch, as once believed, and that you can cross your eyes without fear of them staying that way, there are other bits of medical “advice” floating around that are a bit murkier. Here is a compilation of common medical myths, and insights from local experts on the truths behind them.

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Feed a cold; starve a fever. Not so, says Dr. Deborah Matthew, medical director of Signature Wellness. “You should eat a healthy diet when you have a cold, as always,” she says. “It is advisable to avoid excessive sugar, as sugar has been shown to suppress the activity of immune cells, and you need those cells to be fighting the cold virus.” Also, there is no reason to starve a fever, although it is common to have a diminished appetite when you’re sick. With a fever, keep the fluids coming, as your body’s need for fluids increases as your body temperature goes up.

Chicken soup is good for a cold. Talk about comfort food! People have been using this remedy for hundreds of years, and with good reason. The ancient physician Maimonides recommended it in the 12th century. More recently, chicken soup has been lab-tested and found to have anti-inflammatory properties. “It slows the movement of white blood cells, called neutrophils, which contribute to the immune response to a cold virus,” explains Dr. Matthew. “It also contains a compound called cysteine, which thins mucus and may help decrease congestion.” Steam from the soup — or any kind of steam, for that matter — also helps with congestion.

You can get cancer if you stand in front of the microwave while it’s running. There is no evidence that exposure to microwaves causes cancer. However, as Dr. Matthew explains, there are concerns that the electromagnetic waves emitted from appliances such as microwaves and cell phones may cause some health issues. “We simply don’t know enough about this yet,” she says. “And honestly, I do stand back from the microwave, just in case.”

Balding comes from your mother. Yes! Per Dr. Matthew, the gene for baldness is on the X chromosome, and men inherit their X chromosome from their moms.

You should tilt your head back if you have a nosebleed. Not a good idea. “Tilting your head back causes the blood to run down your throat

and can result in an upset stomach,” Dr. Matthew explains. “Better to lean slightly forward and pinch your nose firmly until it stops.”

cancer at a stage when it is curable and more treatment options are available.

Carrots help you see better.

False. Most breast cancers occur in patients who do not have a family history of the disease. Although it is true that family history increases a woman’s risk, especially if she has close relatives who have had pre-menopausal breast cancer (before age 50). However, as Dr. Danile explains, all women are at risk, and more than 80 percent of women diagnosed have no identifiable risk factors. So it is important to follow the American Cancer Society’s guidelines for early detection: annual mammograms starting at age 40, along with annual physical exams and monthly self-exams.

Up to a point. According to Dr. Kashyap B. Kansupada, at Charlotte Eye Ear Nose and Throat, P.A., “Carrots are an excellent source of the vitamin A that our eyes need to function at peak performance. Vitamin A is especially helpful with night vision.” However, it is a myth that eating more than one or two carrots per week will help healthy individuals see better than normal. “In fact,” says Dr. Kansupada, “too many carrots can actually be deleterious to one’s health by causing skin discoloration and swelling on the brain. Like everything else in life, moderation is key.”

Large-breasted women have a higher chance of developing breast cancer. This is a tricky one. “A woman’s breast size by itself does not affect risk of breast cancer development,” explains Dr. Laura Danile, breast-imaging specialist for Charlotte Radiology Breast Center. “However, many large-breasted women are that way because of being overweight. Obesity, particularly in post-menopausal women and when the weight gain has occurred later in life rather than childhood, is associated with an increased risk of breast cancer.” This increased risk is thought to be related to the body’s circulation of elevated estrogen, which comes from excessive fat stores. The best protection against breast cancer is early detection, so women should schedule a screening mammogram each year, starting at age 40.

Mammograms are risky because they cause cancer. Not likely. Radiation used for mammography is very low-dose, and there is no evidence that this level of exposure causes harm. “The radiation is similar to the amount from an airplane flight of a few hours due to the thinner atmosphere — not something we typically worry about,” says Dr. Danile. Annual screening mammography is the most effective way to find cancer early, well before a breast lump can be felt by physical examination. It is an important tool in detecting breast

If you don’t have a family history of breast cancer you won’t get it.

Smile and the whole world smiles with you. There is a lot of truth to this old adage, according to Charlotte psychotherapist and life coach Jill C. Eilenberger. She demonstrates how it works by asking readers to visualize a social gathering where women are walking around the room and introducing themselves by using descriptive feeling words instead of their legal names. The first scenario might go like this: “Hi. I’m Tired.” “Pleased to meet you, Tired. I’m Worthless.” “Hi. I’m Dull.” “Pleased to meet you, Dull. I’m Lazy.” At this gathering, people are walking more and more slowly as the evening drags on. While these women are frowning and speaking negatively about themselves, they are draining their own energy and the energy of those around them. Thankfully, this group leaves the party early. In scene two, the women are saying things such as, “Hi. I’m Happy.” “Pleased to meet you, Happy. I’m Worthwhile.” “Hi. I’m Strong.” “Pleased to meet you, Strong. I’m Powerful.” The women in this group are buzzing around, animated and upbeat. They energize each another by exuding positive energy that reflects and bounces throughout the gathering. And nobody wants them to leave. “So, yes,” Eilenberger concludes, “when you smile, the whole world smiles with you.” (Continued to page 80) > m a y

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Good For You! A Healthful Celebration

his month, celebrate your health by making it your top priority. National Women’s Health Week, May 9 through 15, is coordinated by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Office on Women’s Health in an effort to encourage women to take simple steps toward enjoying a longer, healthier, and happier life. Try to incorporate one or more of these suggestions into your routine during the month of May: • Work in at least 2 hours and 30 minutes of moderate physical activity, or 1 hour and 15 minutes of vigorous physical activity — or a combination of both — every week. • Improve your diet. • Avoid risky behaviors, such as smoking and not wearing a seatbelt. • Get enough sleep. • Lower your stress level. • Have regular checkups and preventive screenings. Mon., May 10, is the eighth annual National Women’s Checkup Day — a day dedicated to promoting regular checkups that are vital to early detection of heart disease, diabetes, cancer, mental illness, sexually transmitted infections, and other conditions. By visiting womenshealth.gov/whw, you can take the Checkup Day pledge to schedule at least one preventive health screening during the month. You can also use the interactive screening chart and immunization tool to learn what screenings and immunizations you need, and at what age.

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Take A Cue, Mom And Dad The Little Ones Are Watching

hildren, of course, learn their habits, attitudes, and beliefs from their parents and other caregivers — and that includes their willingness to try new and healthy foods. The American Dietetic Association and the Catawba County Public Health Women, Infants & Children Office encourage adults to be good role models by showing children how to appreciate nutrition and enjoy healthful eating. “The most important thing you can do is offer your children as many new foods as possible, as early in life as possible,” says registered dietitian and ADA spokesperson Sarah Krieger. “It’s amazing what kids will try — hummus, beans, tropical fruits — and like. Whatever is available locally in your area, you can get your kids to enjoy it. Take them grocery shopping and let them help with meal preparation. Children are more likely to try new things, especially fruits, vegetables, grains, and dairy products, if they are

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involved in choosing and preparing them.” “We love to see parents work with their children to make healthy food choices,” adds Julie Byrd, director of the Catawba County WIC program. “The WIC vouchers serve as a guide for parents and signify the most nutritious foods for growing children.” WIC is a federal supplemental nutrition program, funded by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, for pregnant, postpartum, and breastfeeding women, and infants and children up to age 5. The program provides vouchers that can be redeemed at participating food stores and farmers’ markets for nutritional foods like fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, milk, juice, eggs, cheese, and cereal. WIC also provides counseling and education on proper nutrition and breastfeeding. To learn more about the WIC program, call the WIC reception line at 828/695-5884. Visit eatright.org for information on the American Dietetic Association. >

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HealthFlash

Pedal Pushers Hit The O pen R oad O n Your Bike

ational Bike Month, a New York Cityrooted celebration of bicycling to work, is upon us, so dust off that banana seat and go for a spin! It’s good for the environment, great for your health, costeffective, and an all-around terrific way to enjoy the beautiful Carolina weather and spend time with friends and family. Did you know that it takes far less energy to ride a bike than it does to cover the same distance on foot? Perhaps this explains why bicycles are such a popular mode of transportation throughout the world, with an estimated one billion people using them every day. Riding to work or to the market is also one of the most efficient ways to incorporate regular exercise into your everyday activities — you get your “daily dose” without having to spend extra hours at the

gym. And, cycling is a lowimpact form of moving that is not only easy on the joints, but can help manage or prevent many disorders, including obesity, coronary heart disease, and arthritis. According to research by John Pucher, a professor of urban planning at Rutgers, as many as three times more bike trips are made by men than women in the United States, despite the advantages. (Ahem, try lugging kids and groceries around on two wheels during rush hour.) So if biking is not your style, you can also make a $75 bike-gift donation to the American Red Cross. This will provide a volunteer with a bicycle that will be used to travel roads where cars can’t go, to educate families about protecting themselves against diseases and disasters. Visit redcross.org to donate.

Biking Benefits

L et Your L egs Do The Work Some benefits of biking include: Improved cardiovascular fitness Greater muscle strength Increased joint mobility

Lower stress levels Better posture Stronger bones Decreased body fat levels

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Migraines And Multiple Sclerosis Is There A Connection?

igraine headaches can be incredibly painful and are often disabling. Symptoms of a migraine include distorted vision, throbbing on one or both sides of the head, light and/or sound sensitivity, and nausea, vomiting, or loss of appetite. Even when the migraine has passed, people are often left with residual symptoms, which include fatigue, irritability, dizziness, and lack of concentration. Of course, everybody has a headache occasionally. However, people with multiple sclerosis, an inflammatory disease of the central nervous system, are much more prone to migraine-like headaches than are members of the general population. And, in the first large-scale study of its kind, researchers at New York University School of Medicine found that women with a his-

tory of migraines may be more likely to develop MS than are women who do not suffer from these headaches. Although it is yet to be determined if migraines are a risk factor for MS, migraine sufferers were roughly 50 percent more likely to develop MS than were those who did not complain of migraines. Stressing that “more than 99 percent of individuals with migraines will not develop multiple sclerosis,” lead investigator Ilya Kister, M.D., says these results are particularly relevant for women, since it has already been established that we are twice as likely as men to develop MS, and three times as likely to suffer from migraines. He cautions, however, that more research is needed into this connection, as it is not known whether migraines are a risk factor for developing MS, or if they simply tend to occur at the same time. >

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HealthFlash

An Eye O n Dryness Signs O f Sjögren’s Syndrome

jögren’s syndrome (pronounced SHOW-grins) is an autoimmune disorder in which the immune system attacks the body’s moisture-producing glands (including lachrymal and salivary glands) and mucous membranes, which may become damaged and scarred, resulting in extreme dryness, especially in the eyes and mouth. Sjögren’s syndrome may also cause fatigue, joint pain and, in rare cases, problems with vital organs such as the lungs, kidneys, and nerves. Sjögren’s syndrome affects upward of 4 million Americans, making it one of the most prevalent autoimmune disorders. Nine out of 10 sufferers are women between the ages of 40 and 50. In 50 percent of the cases, Sjögren’s syndrome occurs alone (primary Sjögren’s). In the remaining half, it occurs in the presence of another autoimmune dis-

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ease, such as rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, scleroderma, or thyroid disease. In those cases it is classified as secondary Sjögren’s. Symptoms of primary and secondary Sjögren’s syndrome are the same, although people with secondary Sjögren’s will likely experience additional symptoms due to their associated disorders. Women with Sjögren’s syndrome frequently experience vaginal dryness, which is often mistaken for menopause-related vaginal atrophy or degeneration, and can lead to painful intercourse. Symptoms related to dryness can be alleviated by using moisturizers and topical lubricants. Local estrogen therapy in the form of a cream, ring, or suppository can also help relieve dryness by reversing the atrophy of vaginal tissues that occurs after menopause, but has not been shown to be effective in relieving dryness due to Sjögren’s.

The exact cause of Sjögren’s syndrome is not known, but it is possible that a combination of genetic and environmental factors is responsible. Sjögren’s sometimes runs in families, and since it most often affects women, there are theories that hormones may play a role. It is thought that low levels of male hormones may be an underlying cause of evaporative dry eye, and researchers are studying androgen therapy, including eye drops, as a treatment for primary Sjögren’s. Androgen production declines after menopause, although not to the extent that estrogen production does. Studies have shown that estrogen therapy actually appears to worsen dry eye. If you are experiencing unusual dryness, speak with your doctor about the symptoms, tests, and treatment options.

Source: womenshealthresearch.org.

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very year, more women than men are diagnosed with eye diseases such as glaucoma, cataracts, macular degeneration, and diabetic retinopathy. A 2008 study called Vision Problems in the U.S., from Prevent Blindness America and the National Eye Institute, reports that of the more than 3.6 million Americans age 40 and older who suffer from visual impairment, including blindness, 2.3 million are women. A recent study published in the March 2010 issue of Ophthalmology showed that women who are post-menopausal and receiving Hormone Replacement Therapy treatments may be at an increased risk for cataracts. The study, conducted at Sundsvall Hospital, in Sweden, states that of the more than 30,000 post-menopausal Swedish women studied who were using or had used HRT, 14 percent had significantly higher rates of cataract removal compared with women who had never used HRT. “Although more research needs to be completed regarding linking cataract increases with HRT, the message is clear that all women need to take the time to take care of their eyes today in order to maintain healthy vision in the future,” says Hugh R. Parry, president and CEO of Prevent Blindness America. “No matter what age you are, it’s never too early to start visiting your eye doctor and scheduling regular dilated eye exams.” Visit preventblindness.org or call 800/3312020 for information on eye diseases such as cataracts, changes in vision due to pregnancy, or a listing of Prevent Blindness America services in North and South Carolina. TCW

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The position in which you have sex can determine the sex of your child. No. “The sex of a baby is actually determined by the male contribution to a baby’s genetic makeup,” explains Dr. Caudrean Avery, of Mintview Women’s Care, P.A. All of our genetic information is within our chromosomes. When a healthy pregnancy occurs, half (23 chromosomes) of the genetic info comes from Mom. In normal females, the sex chromosome makeup is XX, so she will always contribute an X chromosome. The other 23 chromosomes for a healthy pregnancy come from Dad. In normal males, the sex chromosome makeup is XY, so the male parent will pass along either an X or a Y chromosome. Thus, it is the father’s contribution to the genetic makeup of the baby that determines if it’s a boy (XY) or girl (XX). The baby’s gender has nothing to do with the position of sex before, during, or after conception.

Sex after having a baby is not as good for your partner as it was before. “It is not necessarily true that sex after having a baby is not as good for your partner as it was before,” says Dr. Avery. “This is really dependent on the couple, how their sexual relations were before the birth, their anatomic makeup, the type of delivery, and possible delivery-related trauma to female pelvic anatomy.”

If you have a lot of heartburn in pregnancy, it means your baby has a lot of hair. “Cute thought, but not true,” says Dr. Avery. Heartburn during pregnancy can be attributed to the physical and hormonal changes taking place in the mother’s body — not your soon-to-beborn little one.

How you carry your baby during pregnancy can indicate

G e t

whether it’s a girl or boy. Not necessarily. Per Dr. Avery, you still have only a 50/50 chance of being right. The sex of the child is determined by the male contribution to the baby’s genetic makeup, as previously explained.

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Lifting your arms above your head during pregnancy causes the umbilical cord to wrap around the baby’s neck. Not to worry. A lot of babies have the cord wrapped around a body structure — often the neck (called a nuchal cord) — at some point before they are born. In fact, according to Dr. Avery, “Many healthy babies are actually delivered with a portion of the umbilical cord wrapped around a body structure, including the neck. It is rare to have a baby die from a cord accident during pregnancy. This can happen, but it has nothing to do with lifting your arms over your head.”

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Taking a bath in milk is good for your skin. Go ahead and treat yourself. Warm milk baths have been associated with relaxing and calming effects, according to Dr. Fuller, and it’s probably due to serotonin. Also, milk is composed of complex sugars, which act as mild exfoliants to loosen dead skin. TCW

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Chocolate will give you pimples and/or worsen acne. It depends. “Recent studies have shown that a small intake of dark chocolate may, indeed, be good for the skin,” explains Dr. Peggy Fuller, of Esthetics Center for Dermatology. This is because dark chocolate is rich in flavonoids, potent antioxidants that help squelch free radicals, which cause injury and inflammation. “The key word is small,” she adds. “Have a small portion. Milk chocolate, on the other hand, is rich in sugar and sugar derivatives, so it doesn’t offer the same benefits.”

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For more information: e-mail: illajoshi@asartstudio.com ~ phone: 704.778.0814

www.asartstudio.com

H o m e Se r v i c e s

If you are a business or professional wanting to target new households, contact The Welcome Committee.

Improve your core strength, balance and flexibility! Call today to schedule your One~on~One! 704-910-3687 [studio] OR 718-926-0943 [cell] Barbara, Certified Pilates Instructor & Licensed Massage Therapist

Don’t Miss Our Cleaning Specials!

We get there first and in person to deliver your advertising message. You’ll receive a prospect list, so tracking results is a snap. For sponsorship information, please call 704-660-1155.

~ Affordable Home Care Cleaning ~

Executive Cleaning Services

www.TheWelcomeCommittee.net

SCHEDULE YOUR APPOINTMENT TODAY! 704.293.1810 Darrell Williams

Training in Business eTiqueTTe is Key To successful employmenT

Experience LendingBliss

Call Me Today and Get Help… DeShauna McLamb

Get Healthy Now!

704.890.4866 cell 704.597.3009 office

942 West Hill Street Charlotte, NC 28208

Mortgage Loan Officer

704-277-2844

deshauna@clearwire.net (email)

Colonics

Bliss M Green

Resume PRePaRation • Business etiquette quality PeRfoRmance and moRe!

Email me for 3 ways to rapidly increase your credit score! bliss.green@myersparkmortgage.com

C ounseling

704-858-4802 CharlotteColonHydrotherapy.com

restaurants

Jill C. Eilenberger LCSW, LMFT Psychotherapist and Author

Maharani brings to you the authentic essence of Indian cuisine, blending the finest aromatic spices to create dishes that are traditional in flavor, all to be enjoyed in an atmosphere that is warm, inviting and elegantly adorned.

Custom Window Treatments and Bedding

Wednesday, Mar 10, 2010 11:43 AM

Treatment For Emotional Eaters

704-522-0291 www.jilleilenberger.com

1515 Mockingbird Lane Charlotte, NC 28209

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Consultation Design Fabrication Installation

704.604.5782

www.VanessaBoling.com

Mon-Fri 11:30 pm - 2:30 pm

Lunch Buffet & Lunch Specials

Sat & Sun Noon - 3:00 pm Dinner Mon-Sun 5:00 pm - 10:00 pm

901 S. Kings Dr., Suite 115, Charlotte NC 28204 • 704.370.2455

4/19/10 2:26 PM

T o m o r r o w ’ s G i r ls

A nd

Amber Koonce Advocate For Youth

v C h a r l o t t e W o men

leading

the

P W o m a n

way

All Things Being Equal By Mich el l e Y o u n g H u bach er • Ph o to BY JAMES BRO WN

he mission of the MoreheadCain Scholars Program at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill is short and powerful: Create an extraordinary life. Even being considered for a Morehead-Cain Scholarship is an honor. The awarding of this four-year undergraduate scholarship brings with it a high level of responsibility and commitment, not only to serve, but to change the world. And Morehead-Cain Scholar Amber Koonce takes that responsibility and commitment very seriously. “I am passionate about fairness and equality,” says Amber, who is a sophomore at UNC. As she pursues a degree in Public Policy Analysis, the 20-year-old Charlottean strives to fulfill the Morehead-Cain mission by working to bring about positive change for those people in society who have, as she says, “fallen through the cracks.” The summer after her freshman year, Amber spent two months in Ghana, teaching English and environmental science. “No textbooks, no running water, and we used paper from notebooks I brought with me,” she says. But the experience was valuable for both teacher and students. “We used what was around us,” she explains. “We went outside and looked at the clouds. We learned to make the best of what we had.” While in Ghana, Amber also

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worked with girls in the nation’s only detention center, leading self-esteem workshops — an experience she is integrating into a short film for a UNC program called “Documenting Communities.” In the film, she explores how black women see themselves in relation to the concept of beauty. “Little girls in places like Ghana carry dolls that don’t even look like them,” Amber says. “It seems like a small thing, but learning to love yourself starts that young, and loving a face that mirrors your own is important.” She hopes, over the next few months, to acquire nonprofit status for an effort to collect dolls of color that will eventually be sent all over the world. At UNC, Amber is co-chair of the Criminal Justice Action and Awareness committee, which mentors young men and women at the Durham County Youth Home. She is incorporating the teens’ poetry into an exhibit that will encourage visitors to donate books to the detention center for girls in Ghana. This spring, Amber received the Girl Scouts Hornets’ Nest Council’s Young Woman of Distinction award. This summer, she heads to Scotland, where she will work in a detention center for boys. Eventually, she wants to become a judge in a juvenile court system, where she feels she can have a positive impact on young people others have given up on … putting her one step closer to creating that extraordinary life. TCW

W o m a n

4/21/10 2:44 PM

PI-1645

Portraits Make a “Mother’s Day” Portrait Package Special Package Includes: One – 10 x 13 Two – 8 x 10s Four – 5 x 7s Four – 3 x 5s 32 Wallets

Only

PLUS 6 FRee Personalized Portrait Cards

50 CARD DeSIGNS!

No Sitting Fees or Charges • Gift Certificates Available Sessions Book Quickly. Hurry, Call for an Appointment Today! The Town of Ayrsley • Charlotte • 704.759.9933 The Promenade Shopping Center • Charlotte • 704.844.8633 NorthCross Shopping Center • Huntersville • 704.892.1190 Gateway Plaza Shopping Center • Hickory • 828.324.4414

Studio Hours: Tuesday - Sunday 9 a.m. - 6 p.m. • www.PortraitInnovations.com Appointments Highly Recommended. Walk-ins are welcome but may be limited based on availability. No subject fee or additional charges. Only one $9.95 Portrait Package Special of your favorite pose per family or group during each promotional period please. Offer not valid for business purposes, individual adult subjects or unaccompanied minors. Offer subject to change at any time. Promotional and seasonal backgrounds may vary by studio location.

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