Practical Solutions

A Caregiver’s Story: An Adjustment to Caring for Her Husband

Lynda Areheart, 84, became a nurse in her 50s. She began in step-down trauma as a medicalsurgical nurse which wasn’t a good fit, but she eventually determined that private duty nursing was for her. When Lynda’s husband, Bill, partially retired, she decided to take a break as well. She stays up to date on nursing issues and medical trends in a number of ways, including subscribing to a nursing journal, attending seminars, and reading the required 30 hours every two years.

Lynda’s role now is to be her husband’s health care manager, a role she does out of love and respect for him, whom she says deserves the best possible care. Bill retired from the military with two tours in Vietnam, and has several health issues, many of which Lynda says are the result of Agent Orange exposure.

HOW HAVE YOUR HUSBAND’S HEALTH ISSUES ALTERED YOUR LIFE?

Psychologically, I find that I have more responsibility in leadership roles in the family. Bill is a born leader, one of the best, and I have always relied on him in so many ways. Now I find that I must remind him to reserve his energy. We no longer take long walks, hikes, or bike rides. Because of my age and his health needs, I no longer ride horseback; I cannot afford to be injured.

WHAT ROLES DO YOU HAVE TO FILL AS HIS CAREGIVER?

[I wear] two hats: wife and nurse. I have to try to be sure to switch hats when it is appropriate. However, I have to be watchful so that I don’t miss a symptom. While he [takes] his own medications and makes his own doctor appointments, I must be aware of what he is taking and why. I clean his pulmonary equipment and order supplies. I do all the things I would do on private nursing duty. Most of all, I try not to be sharp with him when he does distract me when I need to be fully attentive to what I am doing. As his health manager, I need to be at almost all of his doctor appointments, have a wheelchair on hand if he needs one, take notes, and be sure all questions are answered.

HOW IS CARING FOR YOUR HUSBAND DIFFERENT?

In some ways, it is much easier. We have always been a team, and I can rely on him to do his part. I don’t have to begin with “reading” the patient’s personality. I have to remember that just because he has been surrounded with medical family members, he has had other interests, and I need to educate him as I would any clinical patient.

LYNDA’S SELF-CARE TIPS:

• Don’t be afraid to ask for outside help. • Prioritize your own health care needs, including physical therapy or other appointments. • Limit divisive topics in the home, including political talk or TV news. • Start the day with a scripture reading and short prayer. • Use nature to boost mood and well-being. • Enjoy a cup of tea with a friend or neighbor. • Make time to talk to family, near and far.

By Lynda Areheart

Winter 2022-2023 | TodaysTransitions.com