Things

As you become more comfortable focusing on the positive, phrases along the lines of, “I am grateful for my family. I am you can build on that foundation. Ruth suggests letting your grateful for my home. I am grateful for my career. I am grateful gratitude practice move you to a place of service. Some options for the people around me.” Each phrase can be repeated and for this are volunteering your time with local organizations you can say them throughout the day as often as needed. or creating opportunities while out and about by thanking Affirmations can be a ritual used to look for the bright spots in restaurant waitstaff and managers. Moving your thoughts your day. about gratitude into an active practice is Both Briania and Ruth encourage the use important because “it takes the focus off “JOURNALING AND of a Gratitude Jar. This is an undertaking of yourself and puts it onto others,” Ruth says. Expressing your gratitude to those WRITING DOWN ONE’S you can do alone, but it’s an easy way to introduce the concept of gratitude to the around you is how you plant the seeds that THOUGHTS AS A whole family. “My family and I wrote down grow your inner life to new heights. Briania Nicole Davis, MSMFT, and the REFLECTION OF THE things we were grateful for on a piece of paper and cut those into strips. Then we owner of Open Arms Wellness, a private EVENTS OF THE DAY AND put those in a noticeable spot so anytime mental health practice that focuses on FINDING THE THINGS we were feeling stressed we could pull one anxiety, depression, trauma, and mood out,” Ruth says. This is a tool to help make disorders, says gratitude is essential to YOU ARE GRATEFUL gratitude a practical part of everyday life. our lives because “it helps focus the mind FOR RIGHT BEFORE “It puts my day into perspective and shifts on the things we do have rather than the things we do not.” Bringing your mind BED HAS SHOWN TO my mindset,” Ruth says. Your daily gratitude practice will not only to a place of gratitude in the present can IMPROVE SLEEP AND begin to shift your own emotional state, but refocus that bad day or those competitive feelings of lack. “It’s easy to get wrapped INCREASE JOY.” your newfound lightness will also benefit those around you. Ruth says it takes time, up in arriving at one’s destination rather but, “when you begin to change yourself, than taking stock of the journey along the way,” Briania says. that change automatically affects the people around you.”

Briania suggests intentional exercises like journaling or Practicing that “attitude of gratitude” is beneficial to you trying out affirmations as ways to incorporate gratitude into and those around you on many levels. Briania says, “Gratitude your life. “Journaling and writing down one’s thoughts as a has helped me appreciate and stay present in the moment reflection of the events of the day and finding the things you versus focusing on the past or future.” This resets your outlook are grateful for right before bed has shown to improve sleep and moves you to a place of action where Gandhi’s quote — and increase joy,” she says. “Be the change you wish to see in the world” — doesn’t feel so

Working with gratitude affirmations can become a unattainable. cornerstone of your practice. Briania recommends saying short

Things to Be Grateful For

By Carrie Vittitoe Photo submitted

Habitat for Humanity Louisville is an organization that relies heavily on and is grateful for its volunteers. Whether helping with a new build, sorting donations at ReStore locations, or acting as advocates for new homebuyers, volunteers make Habitat for Humanity a strong local presence.

RESTORE

Two local ReStore locations in Portland and Hikes Point resell donated items, and the proceeds are then used to build Habitat houses. Angela Brooks, ReStore director, says her personal goal is to have the proceeds from ReStores cover the costs of four Habitat builds each year. “We are on track to be there soon,” she says, although she acknowledges that COVID-19 hasn’t made that goal easy.

Habitat is always in need of donations, and there is little the ReStores won’t accept. Some people erroneously think that Habitat ReStores refurbish items, but this is not the case, which means that donated items should be in working order. Habitat ReStores cannot accept mattresses, dishwashers, older faucets, and baby items. Furniture, housewares, appliances, tools, lawn and garden items, and cabinets are what sell especially well. “We ask that appliances be less than 10 years old,” Angela says. At the moment, Habitat is also not accepting paint because of COVID-19 and the labor intensive nature of the paint recycling program.

The people who shop at Habitat ReStores vary. “We have all types of clients. We have a lot of people who are in there every day; they have rental properties,” she says. Resellers also like to shop ReStores for hidden treasures. “We don’t know the true value of everything; we don’t take into consideration if it’s a really valuable piece,” she says. Crafters often come to ReStores to find odds and ends for projects, and it can be pretty cool when they post on Habitat’s social media to show off what they’ve made using Habitat purchases. College students and families also regularly shop at ReStores.

Like so many other organizations, Habitat’s ReStore volunteer network has been impacted by COVID-19, because many volunteers are retirees and, therefore, in the vulnerable category.

HOMEBUYER ADVOCATE PROGRAM

Another avenue for volunteers who want to partner with Habitat is through its Homebuyer Advocate Program. Purchasing a home can feel overwhelming, but this is especially the case if the homebuyer doesn’t have a family member or friend who has ever gone through the experience. If a homebuyer’s primary language isn’t English, this makes the home buying process that much more stressful.

Trevor Loomis, the director of homebuyer services for Habitat for Humanity Louisville, says the Homebuyer Advocate program helps ensure new Habitat homebuyers have a mentor/ friend they can turn to for advice, suggestions, or simply a listening ear. “Buying your first house [or building your first house] is not something that comes naturally, so it really is helpful to have someone who has done it a time or two and can walk you through the process,” he says.

Several things make someone an effective volunteer advocate, including having a heart for people and a willingness to build relationships. Trevor says being patient and a good communicator is also key. However, what is not necessary is having a background in construction, home financing, or homeowners’ insurance. A willingness to hunt down answers is sometimes a big part of what an advocate needs to be able to do.

Some Habitat advocate volunteers have been offering this mentoring service for over 30 years, but there is always a need for more individuals or couples who are willing to partner with homebuyers. New advocates are partnered with a seasoned volunteer. “The number of families [and individuals] in our home buyer pipeline has gone up. We have more demand now than we’ve ever had, and we don’t have any more advocates than we’ve ever had,” Trevor says.

GLUTEN FREE NASHVILLE HOT CHICKEN AND WAFFLE

The Silly Axe Cafe

PLACES WE SHOPPED:

• Bourbon Baekery, bourbonbaekery.com • The Cafe, 502.589.9191 • Heitzman Traditional Bakery and Deli, 502.426.7736 • Ladyfingers Catering, 502.245.7734 • Lotsa Pasta, 502.896.6361 • Paul’s Fruit Market, various locations,

Paulsfruit.com • The Silly Axe Cafe, 502.290.7197

Tasty TimeSavers

By Lindsay McDonald Photos by Melissa Donald Styling by Emilie Nguyen

Hosting a holiday gathering? Here are some great party add-ons that will save you time in the kitchen while adding just the right amount of “yum” to your holiday spread.

HAM WITH PINEAPPLE BROWN SUGAR GLAZE

Ladyfingers Catering

CRANBERRY BBQ MEATBALLS

Ladyfingers Catering

PAUL’S PIMENTO CHEESE WITH CRACKERS

Paul’s Fruit Market

SMOKED TURKEY FOCACCIA SQUARES

Ladyfingers Catering

BOURBON SMOKED BEEF TENDERLOIN ON A KY PROUD BUTTER BUN

Ladyfingers Catering

GOAT CHEESE STUFFED DATES WITH PISTACHIOS

Ladyfingers Catering

Small Eats

CRISPY BACON DEVILED EGGS Ladyfingers Catering

HONEY SMOKED HAM ON PUMPKIN BISCUIT

Ladyfingers Catering

SALMON MOUSSE CUCUMBER CUPS

Ladyfingers Catering

ANTIPASTO TRAY

Lotsa Pasta

STRAWBERRY JAM CAKE

Heitzman Traditional Bakery and Deli

LEMON SHAKER PIE

Paul’s Fruit Market

CARROT CAKE COOKIE WITH CARROT CAKE OREO ON TOP Bourbon Baekery

CANNOLI Lotsa Pasta

Sweet Treats

MINI TIRAMISU

Lotsa Pasta

GLUTEN FREE COOKIE CAKE The Silly Axe Cafe

ASSORTED DESSERT MINIATURES

Ladyfingers Catering

CHOCOLATE TUXEDO CAKE

The Cafe

I’M LONELY...

AND THINKING ABOUT MY OPTIONS.

By Joyce Oglesby

Q: “I’m in a difficult season in my life. I have been married for 16 years, but I am a lonely woman. My husband has always traveled during the week in his career, and he more than adequately provides for our family. He is a really good person, and I love him. I haven’t been unfaithful, but there is someone I have reconnected with on Facebook who makes me feel alive again. He’s married and has a family but seems unhappy as well. If my husband ever found out, it would devastate him, and our kids would never forgive me, but I can’t seem to stop myself. I don’t really want to divorce my husband, but I’m afraid I am falling out of love with him. Should I wait this out to see if this will pass for the sake of our kids?

Struggling with a relationship issue? Write Joyce Oglesby, Family Life FIX-IT Pro at justaskjoyce@gmail.com and find a solution for life. Joyce’s FIX: This season in your life will define your next. Your dilemma has many tentacles, and each one should be explored and given appropriate weight. With the imprecise picture you’ve painted, perhaps I can point out the obvious while offering some insight to consider before choosing your path.

1. Marriage. It’s an institution of commitment. Is it something you can’t dissolve? Of course not. People divorce every day in courts all over the world. Is loneliness a good reason to call it quits with a “really good person”? It comes down to personal convictions. Your husband hasn’t been unfaithful, he’s a wonderful provider, but his work involves travel — something you obviously knew would be a part of the “package” when you agreed to become his bride. Now it could be a deal-breaker?

2. The children. It sounds like the kids really love their dad. But they also love their mom; otherwise, you would never be able to hurt them badly enough they couldn’t forgive you. More kids manage divorce than ever before. They seldom are in favor of it, and make no mistake — it complicates their lives, along with their parents.’

3. The spouses. Your husband and the wife of your Facebook friend will both be greatly affected. I know nothing of his wife, but your husband was obviously someone worthy of your love at one time. He also sounds like someone who trusts his wife explicitly, thus his reaction to your newfound lease on life would be one of devastation.

4. Grass. It’s always greener on the other side of a Facebook exchange. You’re hearing the best this man has to offer in words, but he could be much different after 16 years. Or days.

5. You. Why are you unhappy? We know you’re lonely, but two unhappy people will likely still be sad after the new wears off. If your season ends in divorce, there will be many more issues you will be faced with. So will your acquaintance from the Facebook affair. (Yes, I said it. It’s emotional unfaithfulness.) You’ll also be dealing with the other man’s issues. Perhaps a self-evaluation of how you feel about who you are would help you define your next season.

Why not pick up the phone or even Facebook your husband with some of the same conversation you’re having with your old friend? Find ways to fill your time in a positive manner. Spend more time with the kids. Send encouragement cards to friends. Take online classes. Volunteer in your church or some meaningful organization. Look forward to the weekends, planning encounters for the whole family to enjoy and private time for the two of you to rekindle the excitement you once enjoyed. The more you engage in your Facebook fling, the quicker you’ll forget your love for your husband.

IT’S IN THE CARDS:

WHY MY FAMILY IS SENDING OUT HOLIDAY CARDS OF GRATITUDE

By Tonilyn Hornung

Every holiday season, I’m afraid Santa is going to knock me off of his “nice” list. Even though I’ve done my best all year long to be a thoughtful person by yielding to oncoming traffic and by putting up the toilet seat for my husband and 7-year-old son, there’s one good deed I can’t manage to accomplish. I’m that friend who never sends out a holiday card. At least I’ve been consistent in my failing. Maybe this year, however, all that should change, because this is the year everything has changed.

I’m not a grinch when it comes to spreading holiday cheer. From the time I was old enough to seasonally decorate, I did. As a child, this meant hanging handmade paper snowflakes in my room. As an adult, this means hanging holiday lights in all the rooms before my 7-year-old has taken off his Halloween costume or unwrapped his first treat from his candy stash. I enjoy immersing myself in all the joy, and all the baked goods this magical season has to offer.

While I adore the celebrating, I can become overwhelmed with all the holidays expect of me. Normally, there are school functions, holiday soirées, shopping lists, and family plans that all compete for my attention. Like the Grinch’s heart in the classic cartoon, my usual To-Do list grows “three sizes bigger” and taking the time to write out stacks of holiday cards slips to the bottom of my list. However, this year is shaping up to be a whole lot different than the busy years of seasons past.

Back in February, after I packed away my last string of blinking holiday lights, there was no way I could have predicted what the rest of the year would hold. It’s hard to believe that “social distancing” and “virtual homeschooling” are phrases that roll off my tongue as easily as “Elf on The Shelf” and “Wuzzle Wuzz.” My family’s holiday plans have changed. We won’t be traveling to visit extended family, and there aren’t school parties for which I must prepare. My To-Do list just got a whole lot shorter.

All of this continued change has brought a great deal of uncertainty. I’m not sure what our holiday will look like (especially for my son) and this worry hangs around my heart like the smoke from my holiday candles hovers around our kitchen. I search for the familiar to keep my family grounded, but I can’t find it. Since we won’t be finding any normalcy in our holiday routine, perhaps it’s time to roll with the changes and change up our own seasonal rituals.

During a time when bonds with friends and family have been difficult to maintain, finally sending out those holiday cards might be just the ticket to focus on something that hasn’t changed—the bond we have with those we love. Letters have always been a wonderful way to let loved ones know they’re remembered and designing our own cards together is a great way to keep our own family connection burning brightly. Not to mention, what better age to introduce this classic element of the holiday experience to our son? But with a newfangled twist.

Included in each letter, we’re going to write a note explaining why our friend or family member is appreciated. Studies have shown that gratitude helps people focus on what they have instead of what they have not, and through all the change and uncertainty, we all have each other. And who knows? Maybe this year we'll start a new (soon-to-be old) family tradition. Now, to find my address book.

28 THINGS (Why 28? Because we are 28 years old!)

Happenings, news, and tidbits that caught Today’s Woman’s eye this month

By Anita Oldham

oneChanging

Perspective

Compartmentalized Emotion — the third and final art piece of Project Uplift, a collaboration with Clark Memorial Health, the NoCo Arts Center, and the Jeffersonville Public Arts Commission — reframes negative words into positive feelings. The large, colorful agamographs were created by a team of NoCo resident artists working together over several months. The words displayed on the artwork came from asking Clark Memorial employees about their experiences with COVID-19. When you walk one way down the hall, you see the colorful depiction of the word STRESS, but when you walk the other way, it says FAITH. On the second piece, you read the word BATTLE, in the other direction it reads BREATHE.

l NoCo Artists involved in the project are (l-r) Malliccaaii Green, Jennie DiBeneditto, Sarah Young, Philip Collins, Lisa Fowler, Tammy Burke, Greg Rush.

2-12 INSTAGRAM ACCOUNTS THAT CAUGHT OUR EYE

@workthemetal

@theherbshack

@harperselements

@sugarhighlouisville

@southern_concierge

@melaniejean.co

@tupacandbiggiedoods

@highfivefarmky

@arworkshopprospect

14

INSPIRING GIRL

Check out young Louisvillian Prisha Hedau (prishahedau.com) who released her first book, PANDEMIC 2020: A 9 Year Old's Perspective.

@thebluegrassbaker

@scoutonmarket

13. Don’t forget our Instagram @TodaysWomanNow

More than Virtual Hope

15. Join the American Cancer Society as it celebrates the lives of cancer survivors and honors those whose contributions are helping to advance its mission at The Hope Gala, a free virtual event on December 9.

HopeGalaLouisville.org

Gratitude

16-23

/ˈɡradəˌt(y)ōōd/ noun The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

I have an I Am Thankful jar, and each morning I write one thing I am most grateful for at that moment and place that in the jar. I make a conscious decision every day to let someone know I care about them.

— Sonja Grey (Read more on page 20.)

I’M GRATEFUL FOR GOD’S LOVE AND GRACE.

I’m grateful for my girls, sisters-in-law, and grandkiddos. I’m grateful for my screened deck. It’s helped my sanity during COVID-19. I’m 72 and well, so I have so much to be thankful for. — Bonnie Denny

My life and Christ

MY FAMILY, FRIENDS,

our sweet dog Ruby, good health. — @fleurdelischic

I like to send a handwritten note to an individual, letting them know I am thankful for them and the impact they have had on me. If I have not already sent a letter during the year, then the holiday season is usually an ideal time.

— Shanaka Winters (Read more on page 16.)

THE BLESSINGS EVERY DAY

of family, health, smiles, sunshine, friends, my home, my job — and most of all, faith, hope, and love. — Patti Worley I keep a note in my phone and add to it and check it as I need to. With technology, that has become my gratitude journal. It is true what you focus on is what you see.

— Kyle Shepherd (Read more on page 17.)

I AM GRATEFUL FOR THE LOVE OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS... AND MY 3-YEAR-OLD GRANDSON,

who told me (after I held him in my arms while he slept) that one day when he gets really big and I get really old, he will let me sleep on his lap. — Carol Dawson

Fill ’Er Up

You can go to the new Koko, a sustainable

living shop and Louisville’s first

refillery, to fill and refill your own container with products such as dish soap, shampoo, and laundry detergent.

Stop in the sustainable shop at 1217

S. Fourth St. in Old Louisville, next to Forage, an interior plant shop. Both businesses are founded by Jamie Fairman and Adria Hall. “We are really happy to be a part of this special corner of Louisville. I live here, and now I can work here too, and share this beautiful area with our customers,” Jamie says. “It was really important for us to choose a storefront that supported our goal of making sustainability more accessible and where we felt like we could really be a part of the neighborhood.”

Jenny Watson started The Elderberry Co. on Facebook by offering samples of what she was using to keep her young family healthy.

24

BOOSTING IMMUNITY:

4 QUESTIONS WITH JENNY Keeping your immunity in check can be easy if you know the right way to care for your body. Jenny Watson, owner of The Elderberry Co., shares some advice on staying healthy through the fall and winter months.

25. HOW DOES ELDERBERRY SYRUP BENEFIT THE IMMUNE SYSTEM?

The berry is known for supporting our immune system through a high level of antioxidants. A few studies have also supported the idea that the elderberry, on a cellular level, will stop viruses from replicating in cells. Elderberry is a great way for our own God-given immune systems to continue doing what they were created to do, which is to keep us from getting sick. We always want to empower our customers to check with their care provider before starting elderberry, but personally, my doctors have always encouraged use of it and approved its use especially during the winter months.

26. HOW OFTEN AND HOW MUCH OF THE SYRUP SHOULD YOU TAKE?

A lot of our customers will take one tablespoon daily to support their immune system, but you can take that serving size up to three times a day if you need extra support for your immune system.

27. CAN YOU ADD IT INTO DRINKS?

You can add it to water if the taste is too strong or you can add it to tea or put in a smoothie. I have added it as a cocktail ingredient to an Old Fashioned — instead of the simple syrup, I’ll use the elderberry syrup.

28. HOW MUCH ELDERBERRY SYRUP DO YOU SEND OUT?

We sell about 6,000 jars a month. Most of this is our elderberry syrup, but some of it also includes our honey, syrup kit, and wellness tea.

OAK LEAVES & ACORNS SHORTBREAD COOKIES

Story and Photo by Madeleine Dee

This recipe makes shortbread cookies that are almost impossibly light and delicate. Since they are not super moist, I recommend enjoying them with a hearty spoonful of jam or icing and a nice cup of tea.

OAK LEAVES & ACORNS

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 cup all-purpose flour

• 4 oz unsalted European butter, room temperature

• 1/8 tsp table salt

• 1/4 cup powdered sugar

• 3/4 tsp vanilla extract

• Generous 1/4 tsp GEL food coloring per batch of dough (you’ll need red, yellow, & blue)

• Hershey’s Kisses

• Mini Nutter Butter cookies

• Chocolate chips (dark, milk, butterscotch, white, caramel, or cinnamon)

• Icing with small piping tip

Notes: To add extra sweetness and texture, sprinkle caster sugar over the tops before baking.

Jazz up the flavor by adding fresh citrus zest, spices, or a combination of extracts that equal 3/4 tsp. (For example, use 1/2 tsp vanilla and 1/4 tsp almond extract.)

My favorite flavor combo: Add the zest of a small lemon, 1/4 tsp almond extract, 1/4 tsp. vanilla extract, and 1/4 tsp lavender extract. So fragrant!

Madeleine Dee (AKA The Seasoned Cynic) is a chef, writer, actress, world traveler, and filmmaker who lives in Louisville. Watch her cooking show, Easy Elegance, on YouTube! Instagram: @TheSeasonedCynic ~ Website: TheSeasonedCynic.com

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Heat your oven to 325°F.

2. Mix the flour, butter, salt, powdered sugar, and food coloring on low until crumbly, about 30 seconds, then turn the mixer up to medium and simply combine until a dough forms. Use your hands to shape it into a soft ball. It will feel and look like playdough. Repeat 3 times so you end up with four batches of dough in fall colors: red, orange, yellow, and brown. (Red and yellow make orange, and a big squeeze of red with a small squeeze of yellow and a drop of blue makes brown.)

3. Once you have all four colors, lay out a sheet of parchment paper and begin to pinch off large pieces of dough, dropping them together into a colorful rectangular formation. Be sure to leave several inches of empty paper around the edges. Lay another sheet of parchment over the top and gently roll the dough out into a thick, even layer between the two sheets of paper. Transfer directly onto a clean cookie sheet. Remove the top layer of parchment, punch out leaves with a cookie cutter shaped like an oak leaf, and carefully remove the excess dough, setting it aside to roll out once more if you’d like to make additional cookies. This recipe will make 2-3 sheets.

4. Bake the cookies for about 15 minutes, or until the surfaces have a matte finish and no longer look wet or glossy. Allow to cool, then decorate or leave them just as they are.

5. To create the acorns, simply use your icing to fasten Hershey’s kisses to the Nutter Butter cookies. Allow them to sit upside down for a few minutes so the icing can firm up, then pipe tiny drops of icing onto the tops and add a chocolate chip to each one.

Note: You can make these cookies with another shortbread recipe, but please do not use sugar cookie dough since it contains ingredients like baking powder or baking soda that cause it to puff up — you will lose the beautiful leaf shapes!

CAREGIVER GUIDE p. 58-72