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THEMENTAL MENTAL THE WELLBEING WELLBEING thewhole wholefamily family ofofthe By Dr Lynda Shaw, neuroscientist, By Dr Lynda Shaw, neuroscientist, business psychologist change specialist. business psychologist andand change specialist.
COVID-19 and the uncertainty around it is alarming for all of us and, for many, our anxiety levels are on high alert - and this includes our children. So how can we keep our anxiety in check and get the balance right? Uncertainty is difficult - The brain finds ‘the unknown’ the hardest to deal with and research shows that uncertainty is scarier and more alarming than known outcomes, even if they are bad outcomes. Be truthful with your children but share with them age appropriate information. Accept that this is a time when it is hard to make plans and always be able to stick to them. Control and organise what you can to a reasonable extent if it brings you comfort but don’t fixate and go to extremes. Use language with your children such as “we hope that will be able to do XX, but as you know at the moment we need to be flexible” and give them something they can count on doing such as having a great time doing something as a family at home together. Anxiety is bad for our health - Whilst this is a difficult time, make time for activities that relax you and release feel good hormones like yoga, reading or cooking. Turn off news alerts on your phone if they are making you feel on edge. Make good use of the time. Is it time to do some gardening together, paint a fence, shed or child’s bedroom, do fitness videos that the children can join in, things you said you never had time to do? Alternatively, just spend time relaxing and being in the moment with your family.
Reduced socialising can obviously deeply affect our mood. Humans are social creatures and when we hang out with people we like, feel good hormones like dopamine and oxytocin are released and reward neural activity is stimulated in the brain. This is often even more true for children. Stick carefully to social distancing rules but also communicate with others in a variety of virtual ways as you probably have already been doing. Thinking of social distancing activities that may be a bit different such as fishing, football, book a narrow boat, falconry, visiting national trust properties, horse-riding or playing tennis. It all counts to fill the soul a little. We often see the very best in people in very difficult times. Think if you can help any family members, friends or neighbours in any way, whether that is going for the shop for them or picking up meds. See if you can involve the children too. Can they clean the neighbour’s car or weed the garden? Catastrophising and panicking about what might happen rarely helps. Chronic panic causes you to live in a state of trepidation and confusion. Don’t let your imagination run wild and accept that some things in life are unknown and unpredictable. Be confident that you have the strength and versatility to overcome challenges when required and that this difficult period will pass in time.
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