Writer / Jamie Hergott
W
e all have routines and rhythms that work well for us. Maybe yours is morning coffee before the family gets up. Maybe it’s a long walk in the evenings. One of my own routines is to rest on Sunday from my workouts and runs. I try to walk, do yoga and, in general, relax and let my body recover from a week of tough workouts and parenting full time. However, I have struggled with anxiety for many years, and in recent weeks it has been a bigger struggle than normal. What does that mean for me? It means my guilt over every little thing I spend time on, or don’t have time for, is in overdrive. It means I struggle to make simple decisions, let alone big ones. It means I stress over that thing I said or did weeks ago that I shouldn’t have said or done. It means constantly feeling like my chest is heavy
and forcing myself to take deep breaths. Usually I can stay on top of this anxiety, but lately it’s been tough. I sense I’m not alone in this. We could blame the oppressive summer heat or the full moon, but in reality it’s clear that heightened political awareness, a global pandemic, as well as impossible decisions like whether we should send our kids back to school, are looming and cannot be avoided. If I had a dollar for every time my husband and I wondered, “Can we just ignore everything going on?” we’d be packing for Belize. Recently, I spent a Sunday during which I simply could not rest. The jittery anxiety was at a fever pitch, and I needed to ditch it somewhere. Walking, yoga and relaxing were just not options, so I laced up my shoes for a run, even in the heat of the Indiana sun. It was a long, hard, sweaty six-mile run. My music was blaring, my feet were pounding, and for the first time in a while, I felt like I could
AUGUST 2020
